Sunday 29 November 2009

A change from poetry.

I have dug out some short stories I have written over the years may be you could call it pieces of writing that has not been published because I am not sure whether it's good or not. Before I start with my pieces of writing I think I lie because I just one poem that could be a long poem or it could be a piece of writing depending how you want to look at. This first of piece is what I did on a Creative writing course.

Cat and owner.

The cat smelled a tin of whiskers' Super meat' as he was eating it while his owner drank a pint of lager, faggots, chips and peas.

The cat stared at his owner as if to say.

" Your food looks better than mine."

When they had both finished their food, the owner of the cat took off his Docs off his as he put on his slippers as he sat in the chair and put his feet on the poof.

He sat the cat on his lap.

The smell of food from both of them was still around.

The cat got off his owner's lap as he heard a nose, he looked through the window, shot through the open window as he saw a angry dog with sharp teeth who attacked him.

The owner put his coat, shoes and went to the pub for another pint of larger.
The cat became very restless while he was out.

so Mr Owner took off his coat and jumper, suddenly he saw his cat in the pub with his fur covered with blood so he took his cat home and called the vet.

The morning he bought a parrot, who kept on telling him that he had too much beer. Mr Owner put his feet up, he had not shut the cage well enough so he peaking the slippers of Mr Owner's feet while he was a sleep.

He bought the cat some fish then put it in a dish so Mr Owner ended up eating fish and chips.

For reason at night time the cat was restless wanting to in and out. Mr Owner called him a pain.

Up to date Cinderella.


Up to date Cinderella lived in a flat on Merry Hill, Warstones Wolverhampton, it was no castle. Up to date Cinderella always seemed to be in rags, she never seemed to have a fella. Her Mother always seemed to nag about doing the house work. That's all she did, she never seemed to have a life of her own. She never seemed to have any other clothes.

The up to date Fairy God Mother bought up to date Cinderella some very nice clothes, short tops, mini skirts, a black dress, black tights and a fur coat. It was a cold night so up to date Cinderella wore a black dress, tights and not forgetting black shoes.

" Where am I going up to date Fairy God Mother?"

" your going to the Waggon and Horses on the Cannock road."

" That's a bit common but it's better than no where at all."

" Like hell it is up date Cinderella, you will be traveling on the Travel West Midlands bus."

" Oh well that's nether polish or common?"

" Who will I be meeting by the way?"

" You will be able to get to know a group of people."

Up to date Cinderella caught the 6.00pm to the rough bus in Wolverhampton, then she was off on 6.30pm bus to the Cannock road. The up to date Fairly God Mother introduced up to date Cinderella to a lot of people but she saw Prince Spanish Anthonio giving her the eye, she took no notice until he kissed at 11.40pm and took to the bus stop. She started to feel very merry at the end of the night.

Up to Date Cindrella's Mother went mad when she saw the drunk state she was in.

The next morning up to date Cinderella went to town to do some shopping for her Mother. She saw the handsome man waving at her as he kindly bought her back her fur coat she left in the pub the night before because she rushed off for the last bus. He asked her out for a drink and he asked her for her mobile number as well.

It turned out they were together fifteen years on and off.

Sid the talking horse.

Hi my name is Sid. I am a horse who can talk! I am a welsh Arab breed. I am very very welsh. I am a very black stallion. My height is 14 to 15 hands. I live with my owners Bill and Mary Evans. They had two grown up children Susan and Dave.

When Susan and David were children, I was an untrained horse. Susan and David learned how to ride me. Now that Susan and David are grown up I am now twenty years older which is rather old in horsey years. You human beings have longer years to get old, us animals get old quicker.

The last time I saw Susan and David was while ago, they were living here with their parents. Susan had taken me out hunting. It was a very cold and muddy winter's day during in November. Susan could not believe how dirty and muddy I was.


" What are you doing Susan?"

" I am grooming you, Sid."

" Are you exercising me Susan?"

" I have already told you that I am taking you out hunting."

" Well Susan I don't know whether I feel twenty years older or younger."

" Well Sid you may well feel old when you get going with me today, you will feel twenty years younger."

Susan picked out the mud and stones out of Sid's feet.

" Mind my frog in my feet, Susan!"

" Don't be silly Sid trust me I have been working with horses all my life."

Susan brushed the mud off my legs with my dandy brush. She used a rubber curry comb after she brushed my mane and tail with the body brush, used a dandy brush to get the mud off legs. When Susan put on my tack on my back, I felt as if I had a bath.

As Susan mounted on my back off we jolly well went. When we got to those fields there were loads of jumps. I got as far as one jump, I could not believe it.

" Oh dear sorry Susan this is not like the old days."

" Oh Sid move!"

" Oh Sid if you don't move, I will use my whip."

Suddenly Susan gave me a little tap by my girth, off I jolly well went into slow trot because I was so unfit. I had not hunted for years. Susan gave me another tap when I got across the fields I went flying across the jumps like a very young horse again. I had so much freedom because Susan was as light as a feather. I would have had even more freedom if no one was on top of me. When the jumping was over we went into a slow trot again along those very empty fields. I was feeling rather tired.

" Oh Susan I feel like retiring."

" Oh Sid you are only saying this because you can hear the horns of the hunt."

People were hunting from every farm in Wales. Off came the hunts men. Animals such as foxes, hares and rabbits. I started to feel hungry. Susan got me into gallop to stop me eating the rabbits as they ran wild. I was so glad Susan stopped because I love all animals apart from myself.

It was almost tea time at last.

" Soon be time for tea." said Susan

" At last I am so tired."

Susan had taken me to my stables, I was so hungry I could not wait for my food. I banged my feet on my stable door to hurry Susan up. I could hear the water running into the bucket from the tape at last.

" Get me a drink of water please"!

" Hang on Sid, I am on my way now."

I huffed and puffed until my water came as I carried on stamping my feet on the stable door. When the water came I drank it like a fish. It was like a human being banging a pint glass on the bar. Sometimes I wonder if I am a fish or a horse.

" Now that I have had my water, can I have my food, Susan?"

As I almost kicked the stable door in.

" I am coming Sid, I am just mixing you when I can find your bowl."

" Hurry up Susan, I can here you stirring my feed."

" Your stirring trouble you are Susan."

" Very funny, Sid."

" If I was a human man, I'd pick up my plate out of the cupboard and bang on the table until I had my tea."

When feeding was over Susan left the stable door open by mistake. I thought I'd take a walk because I was bored. I started to feel full of life again after a hard days work. I think Susan fed me too many Oats. I cantered up the top of the yard. Along came Pickle Duck as she nearly went under my feet. There were many hens got in the way too.

" You under my feet, you silly Pickle Duck."

" Oh don't talk to me like that Sid!"

I started to feel tired again so I went very slowly into a trot then a walk.

There I saw Bill and Mary's house so I thought I'd go and take a look. I'd lived near there all my life but never seen the house as I lived on the farm. Well I can't remember Bill and Mary may have took me inside when I was a foal. I knocked on the door with my hoof.

" Who is this at the door? Shouted Bill in his Welsh deep voice.

" It's me, Sid the talking horse." In my Welsh Arab voice.

" Go away Sid, you know this house is only built for human beings."

" Oh please let me in Bill!"

" Oh Bill don't be so hard on him." said Mary

Bill huffed and puffed the idea of a horse in a human's house was just madness in Bill's thoughts.

" I only want to have a look round, Bill"

" Oh go on then!"

I just lay across the rug by the high flamed roaring coal fire. It was so relaxing I kept myself warm as Mary gave me a piece of homemade bread with very thick butter. I felt very sleepy but I felt bad laying because of Bill.

I asked Mary if I could look round the house. I would not dare ask Bill. There's no way he'd let me in but Mary would. I opened the living room door with my hoof and mouth. There was a bright pink rug on the living room floor, then I opened the door going up stairs to the bedrooms.
Suddenly I saw David.

" Hello David how are you"?

" I am fine thanks Sid."

David was far too shocked to see me as he hold of my mane, took me round through the tack room at the back of the house, right back to my stable. He very kindly gave me some hay and water to see me through the night. Written in 1993.


Holiday. Day one When seven year old Susan broken up from school, Mum and Dad took her to Mar gate on the train. Susan was most surprised at the shining steel railings on the train.

" That's how trains are. " said Mum

" When is the train coming."

" About five minutes, Susan."

The engine was streaming and blasting, as the wheels were going round very fast. Susan was very excited.
While the family were waiting for the taxi to the hotel, it poured down with rain so out came the coats. The strange thing was it was so sunny at home. Everyone seemed fed up.

" What a fine break is this." said Dad
" Give it time Dave, we have only just got here!" said Mum

The taxi turned up to take them to the hotel. As soon as they were in their rooms and got their bags sorted. Susan said.

" Come Mum and Dad, let's play snap."

" That's a good idea Susan." said Dad

Suddenly the sun started to shine, it was lovely and warm. Susan was very excited again she changed her mind from playing snap to going to the beach. She wanted to see the sun and sand just like all children do.

" Let's go to the beach."

Everyone got everything ready for the beach. By the time the family got to the beach it started to rain. again. It really was a good job, they had taken their rain coats. The sea was crashing over the rocks, water was shattering, it ran through the shore and it was rushing over the cliffs. The sand was blowing in people's eyes through the heavy wind. There came the sound of thunder over the mountains.


Day two. Good morning. Dad took some trousers for Susan in case it rained. The sun shone all morning long. Dad had taken Susan out fishing with her net, with Dad's help she caught a piece of salmon for tea. Dad had skinned the fish. Susan very excited to eat the fish but she did not like it be skinned. She was not sure whether she wanted to eat the fish or not with it been alive one minute and dead the next.

Dad and Susan went for a swim. David swam along Susan with her arm bands on. The water seemed to get deeper as David held on to Susan as they swam back to the sand. On the way back the water seemed to start to get shallow as David and Susan found a treasure box while the water was a little deep. Susan opened the lid.

" Look Dad."

" Wow." said David as he looked.

David told Susan that it was old money that he used to spend as a little boy. Susan was amazed. All old sliver, gold and notes still great condition but could not be spent. It was so hard to find the history and how it got there. David took the box to the bank them his detail so they could write to tell about the money box when they found out themselves. A few weeks after the holiday David contracted the bank they told him they could not find out anything, which was sad.

In the afternoon, the family went on the ferry to France. The sea was very rough and Susan was very sick sea. David and Emily managed to get Susan a travel sick pill from the staff on the ferry. Susan felt a sleep then woke up to feel much better.
When the family got to the beach, the sun was shining in the lovely blue sky. Susan and Mum collected shells in a bucket. Mum put them into a polythene bag, so they could built sand castles, towers and sand pies.

Susan and Mum went for a swim while David had a relaxing afternoon. Susan near enough had a mouthful of sea water and spat it out, it was very salty. Susan caught crabs, cokes, whelks, and jellied eels with a fishing net. When they came back David went fishing.

The weather had got better compared with the first day they came. It was a very shocking storm first day on the beach.


Day three. Good morning. David got out his motor boat while Emily and Susan were enjoying swimming in the sea. It was very much the same kind of day as day two. It was just a very happy family holiday. Susan did not want to go anywhere else but the beach. She loved wearing her little pink swim wear, orange arm bands and white swimming cap.

In the afternoon David went sailing his yacht after lunch. The fresh wind cooled David down from the heat.
Susan and Emily were having a lovely time riding the donkeys on the beach. They were making the most of the last day, it was fun for Susan.

Day Four. Good morning. Susan wanted to stay the full six weeks holiday but David had to go back to work the next day. In fact the whole family would have liked to have stopped a bit longer.

On the way home Susan asked the same questions about the train as she did going. The family were not looking forward to going back to Wolverhampton. Late 20th century onwards.


Negative to positive.

David Sars Bride was a Wolverhampton man with a learning disability. A lot of things were playing on David's . It just seemed as if society was not accepting David's disability, this made David very angry. He kept on blaming himself for been how he was and been born in the first place.

David just wanted an equal life like everyone else but he could not seem to get the same rights as everyone else. The main thing he wanted in his life was a job. Don't get me wrong he had little jobs but employers put him on the same job all day long. It made him feel bored, fed up and angry.

David got very well with his brother John so well that it made him very angry that he could not go to the same school as John. David had to go to Penn fields special school. The school did not support david with his school at all because that was not possible when David was a child.
John became a very successful business man in art and design even though he did not have time for relationships, children or his parents. When he did have time he support his parents with David.

John and David had not had a holiday since childhood with their parents, which was the in1950s and 1960s.

It was Friday 13th October 2000, when David went to Wolverhampton college Bilston from the Job centre. The Job centre gave David a lot of stress over getting work and not getting work. This good David in a very bad mood. He started off very calm as he enrolled on his Sociology course. He walked into the canteen. He stood in the quene for a bacon and egg sandwich and a cup of coffee. The quene was very long and he could not wait for the staff to cook the bacon and egg. When David had bought his food and drink, a student named paul who was a lot younger than David looked at him very strangely. David did not like the look of paul because his hair was dark black, thick and brushy. All Paul said was.

" Alright mate,"

" What's your problem, mate?" asked David as he throw his hot coffee all over Paul.

Suddenly David took one bit out of his bacon and egg sandwich, it tasted off and smelled bad so he throw it all at Paul.

" Godness sake, what's up with you!" said Paul

The egg run down Paul's face.

" You looked at me strangely because of my disability."

No one did a thing about the row.

The truth of the matter was it was not as bad as what David thought. Paul did not think what David thought at. David just did not feel understood by non - disabled people. The Job centre did not help David either but then David should have tried to have been more calm in himself.

David moved on to the library to get some books for his course. He should have been looking for Socology books but he was looking at the psychologhy books instead, he was standing at the wrong stands. For a long time David walked round the library in an aggressive mood following this young female student Mandy about. She wore a short mini skirt, a pink low neck with her bra poking out, brown leather boots and long dune blond hair. David was just about to lose his temper with her until suddenly she told him some good news out the blue.

" My name is Mandy I work for Mencap in Wolverhampton, they are looking for a Learning Disability speaker, would you be interested?"

" Oh yes, I will fly for the chance, I am sick of doing the same job all day long."

" Well it be like that anymore, you will be doing different things."

The day Mandy took David for an interview as he canceled he Sociology course. David just was not thinking straight at that time. Written 2003 onwards.


Taking it out on others, very quick changes.


Sam and Bob Johnson were twin brother, they both had disabilities and they lived in Dudley. Bod was in car crash in 1980. They were very successful business men working in night clubs in the 60s and 70s. They dressed very smart suits and the women loved them. They were both students at Dudley college study Business management.They went on boys nights out together. They led equal lives despite of their disabilities

Sam's behavior changed him very quickly after he lost his brother Bod died in a car crash in 1980. Sam and Donna were going to get married but after Bob died but she could not cope with Sam's behavior. Sam hit the drink very badly. Sam went from been a lovely young man to a nasty old man. Sam's Mum Jean was too old take Sam's bad behavior. Jean was very scared of Sam mainly when he had been drinking too much. Sam was very bad tempered and dangerous. Jean was near enough having a nervous break down. Jean was mot strong cope with her son's behavior because of age and having to cope with her other son's death. Sam was making her worse with the way he was coping with things. Jean ended up not wanting anything to do with Sam anymore because of the sake of her age and health. He gave her no choice but kick her son out her life.

" You will have to go Sam, you are making me ill."

The way Sam spoke to Jean was not nice.

Sam moved to Wolverhampton known as a dangerous tramp, he was a very well known unlikeable man. Sam lost his business and everything. He slept and walked the streets of Wolverhampton. People who faced him were scared of him. As the years flew, he could not be bothered looking after himself. He never kept himself clean or change his clothes. He smelled like a tramp. He sat on park benches eating fishing, chips and having loads to drink and smoke.
He smoked like an old hag.

As the years rolled on the pain and anger over the loss of Bob got worse, it ate Sam up inside himself more and more. He was liked very few people.
He just could not move on, he found it very hard to. When people advised him to move on, he used to go mad, he would say.

" He was my brother, leave me alone!"

People walked away so he did not have any friends because he was not very nice to them. Sam never tried hard enough to help himself.

One day Sam was walking through Wolverhampton town centre. His mood got even worse than ever but that did not surprise people. He rushed around here, there and everywhere. He knocked into people without a care in the world. Pushing people down and meaning it as well.

Sam walked into the Counseling services to get help to see if he could get advice to cut down on his drinking. His behavior was so bad that staff did not want to help him. He could not and would not help himself, he was also very bad tempered.
Sam hung around outside until counseling place closed. It was Friday 31st October 2003. A young dun blond seventeen year old Y.T.S girl named Susan walked out. She wore blue jeans, black boots and a white tee shirt. Sam ran very quick round the back of the building. When he heard the key lock the door, he ran back round again. Strangely Sam wanted some money for some Crack cocaine. He put his hand round Susan's neck. He spoke in her ear.

" Keep quiet or I will slit your throat open." As he held a knife across Susan's neck.

" Have you got any money?"

Susan opened her purse, she only had £2.00, which was not enough for him. Sam cut her throat , as he flipped his blood shout eyes and grinned his teeth. Sam strangled Susan to death. Written 2003 onwards.


Working teenage boys. Mum trusted her boys Alan and Robert to take care of household while she was working until 10.00pm. When she got home she was hoping to find the boys in bed ready for school the next morning.

Robert was very fed up because he could not go out with his friends. The society in London started to get worse in the 1990s, Mum did not want her boys mixing with the wrong children. Parents were breaking down with a lot of upset and anger.

Alan asked Robert to change into his normal clothes after school.

" Oh Robert don't give me a hard time, you sound just like Mum."

"Don't you give me a hard time, I am on my own, your not fare and I am trying my best to do things right."

" I should feel free with you, I'd understand if you were Mum Alan."

" Don't push your cheek with me, Robert!"

" Do as I tell you in the first place, Robert then you can help me cook the tea."

" I have got home work to do."

" So have I Robert but the house needs to be taken care of as well."

Robert huffed and puffed.

" As Mum is not here I have to make sure that we are both doing our bit, Robert."

" I have had enough of this, Alan."

" Get up stairs and change your clothes, Robert!"

Robert could see that Alan was ready to lose his temper, so he changed his clothes and watched the television. Alan wanted Robert to cook the tea and wash up.

" Get up lazy bones, work has not stared yet."

Robert ribbed up his home work note pads, paper, text books and the lot.

" Right Robert, I am ringing Mum."

Alan rang his Mum, Mum spoke to Robert.

" Your so unfair, now I have to pay for all those books for the school."

" Now you can start off by doing paper rounds, you hate hard work don't you Robert!"

" I am not worried about that Mum, Mr Davis is going to kill me for not doing my work."

" You only have yourself to blame Robert, I think Mr Davis will be more cross about the damage books than the home work."

" Now help Alan out Robert otherwise I'll think of other ways to make life hard for you."

Alan managed to get Robert to tidy the mess up but it took a lot of hard work for him to get him to do it. Robert knew he would not get any food or pop if he did not help with the house work.

Robert knew he only had himself to blame for the damage of the home work.


" Good bye Robert, you have finely done some work, why is hard work to get you to do some work?"

Robert went quiet.

The boys eat their fish, chips bread and butter drank their glass of lemonade as they passed the the sauces and things . Suddenly Robert started flicking peas under the table which made Alan angry yet again.

" What are you doing Alan?" asked Robert as he was laughing.

" I am trying get away from your bad table manners Robert, this no laughing matter."

Robert started picking his spots. Robert had ginger hair, freckles and he was over weight. He blow his norse on his green school jumper as Robert kept on telling him to change school clothes to home clothes. Mum was unhappy with Alan because he should have been cooking a meat and veg dinner but Robert wanted fish and chips.

Suddenly Alan heard a smash, it made him very angry.

" What can I do to get a bit of peace"?

Robert smashed all the crocks so he did not have to wash up. Alan read Robert like a book.
Alan ended up sweeping all the mess up, this made Alan more and more angry. In the end he did not feel like doing his own home work but he had to do it. Alan loved his education but Robert did not. Alan was so tired he had to force himself to do his home work. He was not going to get himself a mess like Robert.

" Can I have some Apple pie and custard?"

" I don't see why you should Robert, after what you have put me through tonight. "

" We have no dishes, no plates, no cups, nothing and Mum is going to kill us both."

" You have to do without Robert, you should not have smashed everything up."

Robert just went around banging doors and giving Alan dirty looks, Alan just took no notice.

Alan did his home work and left Robert to it.

When nothing could get more worse than suddenly Alan could smell something burning in the house.Alan was close to a break down. Robert tried cooking in the saucepan, it was black and Robert stuck it in the dog's bowl.

" Taste that Alan, it's lovely."

" No thanks, Robert!" shout Alan in a very angry voice.

" I would not taste your cooking even if you paid me, Robert."

" Get away from me Robert!"

Alan did not know what to do next. Robert banged the door and stormed out his bedroom. Robert was in a bad mood all night long because he could not see his low life friends. It was a very time for boys of 13 and 15, even more stressful for Alan having to control his brother.

At last it was peace and quiet for Alan. Robert spent the rest of the evening in his bedroom. Alan looked in the mirror, he could see the bags under his big brown eyes. Alan stopped longer to tell his Mum about Robert otherwise he would have been in bed. Mum was well pleased with Robert, he was grounded for a week. The week after he was grounded he did paper rounds to save up money for the damage of the school books and breaking Mum's crocks. 2003 onwards.


Making sense of it all.

Mala Kaur was born in Bombay India in 1949. She never spoke of her childhood, it was too painful for her.

At the age of sixteen she moved to England in 1967. Friends from Bombay paid for her to get to London, then she was on her own. She had knocked on many doors asking for money. People turned her down because they did not know her. She slept on the street begging for money until people got to know her and had trust in her. She was always talking to herself because no one would talk to her. She was very unsure what to do with her life. She felt guilty for begging but she no choice.

" I never thought life would be like this." she said to herself,"

A few weeks came down the line, Mala finely made a friend. His name was David who lived with his parents. David would give Mala so much money a week. Mala stopped begging for money, she made more friends. David felt very sorry for Mala, their friendship grew and grew into love but that love did not last forever. Mala had got a job in paper job and started paying her but that job not last, the staff could understand her. The employer put her on a college course to learn English but she left because there were a good many students she did not get on with. As soon as she lost everything she lost David as well. David robbed her for every penny and kicked her out the house, she also turned to drugs, then in jail.

One day Mala walked into the Victoria pub, people give her strange looks and stared talking about her.

" That young girl has been there a while Fred but no one has spoke to her,"

" I know John, it's hard to understand her because she does not speak English,"

" I have seen her sitting on streets Fred talking to herself and begging for money, "

" Asking for money is the only I have heard her speak, Fred,"

" Strange, John,"

" Did she say her name at all, Fred?"

" No not what I am aware, John," Wednesday 7th November 2007.


The wondering boy who lived in a field.


He was put in a field called Kingswood common how he was there was unknown. He was born in round the 1800s. He was in a world of his own. He did not have a name. He wore rags and his history was unknown before Kingswood common. He lived in stewberry field. When he was found everyone was amazed he lived all those winters all those years with such heavy snow.

It was one winter's morning when Mr Robs notice him the first time pottering around in the field. It was a cold winter's morning when Mr Robs asked.

" When the summer comes, would you like to work for me as a stewberry picker but for now you can dig up the snow."

" Oh yes please." said the strange boy when he was the age of five.

A little Mr Robs knew that the boy had a learning disability, no one else knew. No one knew him anyway, he was seen but not heard. My Robs notice that the boy and himself were not understanding one another very well. Mr Robs knew there was a problem but he did not know what.

Mr Robs took the boy to the Coal mines, which was just down the road from the pony and trap.

" What's your name boy?"

The boy looked very confused as if he did not understand plus he could not speak very well either. The boy stood looking into space instead of looking at Mr Robs while he was talking. Mr Robs suddenly took out his whip and belt to him because the boy was not answering him. Mr Robs got more and more cross because he had never come across people misunderstanding before. Mr Robs did not see it like that he thought the boy was been rude.

" Do you have a tonge in your head, boy?"

Well it turned out no one had even tried to teach the boy anything, he all left on his own. He was trying to talk but he was finding it very hard.

" Pick up the coal!" shouted Mr Robs

The boy jumped out of his skin. He ran away as Mr Robs chased him with the cain. The boy was very scared, confused and he was not use to any human being. He had never had a memory of anyone been nasty or nice to him but after that he had flash backs and nightmares. In the end females ended up feeling sorry for him. He did not know how to answer people. He was very scared of males after what Mr Robs did to him, he was scared of the big wide world.

Although the boy could not speak, Mr Robs could tell how he was feeling even though he did not understand what was wrong. He looked at Mr Robs as if he was telling him to go away, with the look he was giving him.

Mrs Price was a Green grocster, she was very cross with Mr Robs.

" What do you think you are doing?"

" Mind your own business, woman."

" I asked him question he would not answer me."

" May be he's scared of you, Mr Robs."

Very slowly the boy started to come out of himself. Mrs Price learned that he could not speak so she taught him to speak. It took he about five years to speak, she even gave him a name. She named him Albert.

Mrs Price's husband Mr Price was a very hard man but not as hard as Mr Robs. Albert had temper paddies and wet himself, when that happened Mr Price cained him as Mrs Price broke down in tears. Little did people knew that Albert had Mental health problems. Things were really bad, Albert was still misunderstood.

One day Albert escaped from Mr Robs, he was just about caught him by getting run over by a pony and trap. At that point for some strange reason Mr Price was very drunk, he hit Mr Rob in the face. Albert had a fit through the shock of almost been run over, Mr Robs put a spoon in Albert's mouth in thinking Albert was been naughty. The got himself off the road when he came round, no one knew he was having a fit. He tried walking to the common where he know, he walked slowly as he was weak on his legs.

" You should not take children to the pub, you have got the boy drunk."

" What a horrible thing to say, Mr Robs I would not do that."

" What is the point saving this child, he does not speak, move or do anything, Mr Robs."

" Don't let your wife hear you say that, Mr Price!"

" There's nothing wrong with the child he's just naughty but he still has the rights to live."

Mr Price was so drunk he could not hardy speak himself.


Mr Price took Albert by the hand despite of been drunk. Mr Robs thought Mr Price took Albert to the pub as Albert was weak on his legs. When Mr Price bought Albert to his House, Mrs Price gave him a lolly pop from the Old Sweet shop and wiped the tears out his eyes. Mrs Price was like a Mother to Albert.


" Would you like some clothes , Albert?" asked Mrs Price but Albert did not seen to understand, Mrs Price did not get cross with him because she knew that was the way Albert was.

Mrs Price took Albert out to buy some clothes. From a boy in rags he turned out to wearing verlet suits. In time Albert started to smile, he showed his bright blond hair which had been washed in soap and those bright blue eyes that bought the girls alive. Mrs Price even gave Albert a bath, he felt such a different boy.

Mrs Price went off to see Mr Robs at the coalmines to show off her clean and smart dressed boy.

" I am not having him in the coal mines dressed like that, Mrs Price!."

" Don't you worry Mr Robs, this clean boy is going to no coal mines!"

" This boy can work for you Mrs Price now."

" Well jobs are cleaner than your Mr Robs."

Suddenly Albert pushed Mr Robs down the mines, he suddenly came out with.

" I will never get dirty again, well not over your dead body."

" Too right, Albert you won't get dirty again." said Mrs Price

" Mr Robs is so thick that he is coal." said Albert

Mr Robed choked himself to death on the coal.

Years and years went on after Mrs Price died, Albert still had to go through a lot of misunderstanding with people. Everyone thought he was rude and naughty. It got so bad that Albert ended up in jail not understanding why he was there. Albert wondered in and out of jail. It turned out that he had a lot of mental illnesses, until he took his own life and he could not take anymore. If Albert would have been born a century later, things may have been better for him.

Mr Price was a sound man when he did not drink too much, he did get on with Albert sometimes even better than Mr Robs did sometimes. He could be hard on Albert sometimes but nice to him two. When Mr Price died it upset Albert very badly, he remembered the good times that he found hard to talk about. Albert even had a speech problem when Mrs Price taught him to speak. Written 2007 onwards.

Hidden Murder.

John Brown lived in a black and white house on the Yorkshire moors. The house was very much out in the sticks for a young man in the 1960s. His house was on a very land.

John was doing his ironing on hot summer's day of Friday 30th June 1963, he was 21 years old. His five year old daughter Julie was breaking from school. He was in his back kichen John was happy he was in love with his girlfriend Susan he sang along to his Beatles LP. Even though he was on his on at the time, the patio doors were open and the birds were singing. Suddenly someone came behind John while he was ironing, he was not excepting a shock like that. The person grabbed him by the neck of his white tee shirt, a knife when through the spine of his back as he skit on a banana skin, he came down with the ironing board and the wire of the iron caught spikes.


It was 4.00pm when the child miner Donna dropped his five year old daughter home from school. Donna saw a man in a black mask, leather jacket and gloves as she was driving, he was walking along the country lanes. Donna took no notice. Donna knocked and knocked door. It seemed very strange that there was no answer. It was very strange because normally John opened the door right away. Lucky the patio doors open. Poor five year old Julie walked into the kichen to find dried blood out of her young Father's head, a knife through his back and a banana skin stuck to his shoe. Julie yelled a shock of her dead Father, donna found it hard to believe what happened. Blood was all over the ironing board cover and all over the clothes on the ironing borad.

" Daddy!" Julie screamed

Donna and Julie were both as white as ghosts. Julie was shaken as Donna calmed her down.

The murderer took off his mask he was a blond haired man with dark brown eyes. Written 13.2.2003


Family drama.

Maria was a little girl who raised her seven brothers and sisters in the first world war while her was working to make ends meet. She grow up to marry an evil man named George German but the marriage ended after 20 yrs. After the married ended Maria's daughter Mandy had a disabled daughter named Alice. Mandy had to go out to work to pay the bills look after her daughter. Maria looked after Alice while Mandy was at work.

A few years before Alice was born, Maria send Mandy to the pub to ask for money for food. George looked very old even when he was very young. He was a bit of an army great coat hung round his shoulders, revealing a blue suit that had seen better days.

His food was all down his tie, outline his lunch meni he smelled of fish, chips and pub. He sat in the pub wearing steel caped boots that he wore for work. He wore a mental cup with a string round his neck because he begged people for his beer money even though he was working. He should be using his working money on his and children. He was a very greedy man.

When he did not go home to his wife, he's sleep rough with all kinds of strange rough drunk women, which was unknown to Maria. May be he was a tramp who slept with female tramps.

He steady leaned across the pub table as his oldest daughter Mandy who was 13 entered the pub. His trousers were too long as they dragged on the floor and in the mud.

" Dad, have you got any money for Mum for food?"

" Go home your just a child, go to bed and you must not be in this pub young lady."

" I will put a check in the post."

Mandy was shaking like a leaf when she he Father so angry and drunk.

" You after my money again, aren't you?"

He took off his belt off his trousers to his daughter, scared the life out of the poor child.
Mandy was too scared to speak.

" Go home!"

" I'll whip you will my belt, I don't give a dam who is there."

" You are having no money off me, this is my beer money."

In August 1984, Mandy got married at Saint Peter's church Wolverhampton before she took her guests to the Victoria hotel. On that morning George went into The George pub as soon as it opened. There were mates in there he had not seen for 20yrs.
As soon as George turned up at the church half way through the service, the family knew he was drunk, he could not hardy walk in a straight line. His behavior in the church seemed very calm. The whole family were stilling hoping he would not turn up at the hotel, they were dreading it. Sadly for the family he turned up. Well Mandy did not mind him been there.

The family entered the Victoria hotel.

George did not like Germ's husband Tom. George started shouting at Maria for letting Mandy marry Tom.


" Mandy should not be marrying that man, he has a bloody other woman."

" It's Mandy's life, your always like this when you have too much to drink, don't swear at me George, you know I don't like it!"

" How can you let this bloody happen, Maria?"

" Mandy is 31 yrs old, she an adult she will do what she wants whether like it or not George, please stop swearing."

Maria thrown Mandy's wedding cake right in George face as strangely he was falling anyway through been drunk.

" I swear if I bloody want to swear."

George nose started to bleed as the sliver when up his nose.

" Mum, look what you have done, I have worked hard baking that cake and plus you have knocked Dad out."

" Good Mandy, he gave me plenty of beatings when I married to him, now it's my turn."

Germ laughed when Maria throw the cake but Mandy did not find funny after she spend hours baking it .

Mandy her sister Germ.

Follow on from the cake.

" Germ can you drive Dad to the hospital?"

Germ huffed and puffed at the idea of taking her drunk and ill Father to hospital.

" Yes, I really will to do that Mandy."

It turned out as bad as Germ thought, George behaved very badly as he started rowing with his youngest daughter in the car. He just got worse as even the nurses were scared of him. On a very hot day, he a very long blue thick coat, he must have been boiling but he was too dangerous for anyone to take his coat off.

Maria's best friend Sue was a nurse.

When George came round.

" Why did you leave my coat on Sue?"

" You were too drunk George."

George laughed.

" Not funny George, are you still married to Maria?"

" No way, I can't spend my money on what I want to when I am with her."

" You mean drink don't you George?"

George laughed yet.

" Not funny, George."


Mandy and Maria entered as Germ came back from having a coffee.


" What are you two doing here?"

" I feel guilty about throwing the cake at your Dad."

" Don't be silly Mum, I don't." said Germ

" Mum, that was just class when I saw you thrown that cake." said Germ

" I don't think it's funny, she could have killed Dad." said Mandy

" Good." said Mandy as she laugh

" You mean you are, Mandy."

" So were you when you cut my eye lashes when I was little."

" Go on you two go and have a coffee and calm down."

Maria went out for a smoke as the girls had a coffee.

The girls entered the ward to find their Mum kneeling at their Father's hospital bed kissing. They both look shocked after all these years.


" Mum, fancy another coffee, let's have a private word?"

" Ok, Germ."

As they entered the cafe Germ said.

" Mum, are you mad, are you both back together?"

" I would not be kissing him otherwise."

" Why, Mum?"

" I felt guilty about the cake, we thought we'd give it another go."

" That's no reason to get back together."

" I have something to tell both you and Mandy."

" Ok, we will talk about it when go back to the ward then!"

There was a very long pause on the way back from the cafe to the ward between Maria and Germ.

When Germ and Maria entered the ward, Maria asked the girls.

" How do you feel about me and your Father getting back together?"

" I don't know, Mum." said Mandy

" Well I have breast cancer and I feel bad about throwing the cake at your Father."


The girls had both asked their Mother how long she had Breast cancer but she had only found out a couple of days ago. Germ was rather angry because she was worried that her Mum going back with her Dad with the way he would give her more still with her Breast cancer. Mandy thought this point in time it was better than her been a lone. This caused Mandy and Germ to full out because they did not have the same views about their parents getting back together. May be Maria having thrown that cake at George gave her chance for the first time to get her anger out on him on what he did years before but then she felt as if she had done a crime.


" All the hard work I went through baking it." said Mandy

" That no reason to get back together. " said Germ

" Blood is thicker than water as long as they love one another." Germ

There were a lot of things going through Germ's mind but did George, make up your own . 12.12.09








Sunday 22 November 2009

Profound and multiple learning disabilities.

This study is apart of your package for Learning Disability week Health June 21st - 22nd 2010.

I am raising Learning Disability and Health Awareness.

This is about Profound and Multiple Learning Disabilities, why do we need to talk about these people? We need to talk about these people because they need to be notice as much as what everyone else does.

People with Profound and Multiple Learning Disabilities are individuals just like everyone else.

They often have more needs than everyone else so they need more help to get along in life.

If you find out what those needs are you can do more to help these people.
People do not listen to them because they all have different ways of communicating with people. Every Learning Disability is different, people just need to learn how to understand them.

People with Profound and Multiple Learning Disabilities have more than one disabilities, in most people every disability is different. Well you need except anything from anybody and everybody.

People with Profound disabilities need lots of support because they may have other disabilities as well.

People with Physical disabilities do have problems with their bodies or different parts.

People who use wheelchairs have Physical disabilities, that can can either mean Profound or Multiple Learning Disabilities.

Sensory disabilities is when people find hard to see and hear.These people have lots of Health problems,Mental Health problems and even Autism.

People with Profound and Multiple Learning Disabilities need a lot of help. They also find it very hard to communicate.


People with Profound and Multiple disabilities communicate in lots of different ways. Not every person communicate the same, they do what is easy for them.

USING THEIR FACE. People might show how they feel by changing from happy to sad for eg;

MAKING A NOISE. Making a noise could be their way expressing themselves and to make themselves notice.

USING THEIR BODY. People may show you how they feel by the way they use their bodies. For eg; they may learn towards you if they want something.

CHANGING BEHAVIOR. People may show you how they feel with the way they behave. For eg; push over a table if they are anger.If they don't feel listened to they may become anger, if they don't think you understand what they are trying to say or what they want.


USING SPEECH, SYMBOLS OR SIGNS.


Most People with Profound and Multiple Learning Disabilities find it hard to understand what others say.

It is important to spend time getting to know each person and learn about the way they communicate.

It's also important to learn they the way these people understand things so you can help them.

One way is to show someone an object to remind them of something they do often.

For eg; if the person likes art you could show them a paint brush or a picture to give them a choice to do art if they want to.


Some people might need special aids to help their bodied stay straight. Aids is something that help people do things more easily.

If someone has Physical disabilities they could have Physiotherapy.

Physiotherapy is where someone called Physiotherapist helps them move their bodies more easily.

There are lots of other people who are paid to support people use their bodies. For eg; Occupational therapist helps people learn skills with the right aids.

Carers of people with Profound and Multiple Learning Disabilities must be trained so they can help take care of these people in the right way.


People with Profound and Multiple Learning Disabilities often need lots of support with their health.

Many people have Epilepsy.

Some people need lots of help when they swallow their food.

This is important as everyone needs food to stay Healthy.

Some people might get food through a tube.

Some people may need a carer to use aids to take liquid out of their throat so they don't choke.

Someone with these disabilities find it hard to tell you if they are in pain. They may need to support to know they are in pain and to make them feel better.

Some people may behave in a way that most people find hard.

This might be because they are not getting enough help to live their lives.

It's important to understand why a person behaves like they do. For eg; I used to pull temper paddies as a child because I found doing things for myself was hard for me but I wanted do them myself without help just like other people. Late in my life, I found even people without disabilities needs help at times.

They may behave in a certain way because that maight their way of telling you that they are not feeling well.

They may not like the place that they are in.

People with Mental Health needs need the right help.

Most people need help personal care, for eg; washing, bathing, feeding and going to the toilet.

People should have help to tell other people what they want and need.


People with these disabilities will carry on learning things all their lives, just like everyone else.

They will learn slowly though, a bit at a time.

It helps these people to learn when someone shows them lots a times.

Some of the things these people learn are things that people learn when they are young. For eg; how to press a button to make something happen.

Other people with these disabilities are not treated in the same way as other people.

Other people do not understand that they have the same rights as everyone else.

Other people need to understand that people with these disabilities can make their own choices and do things they enjoy like everyone else but with the right help.

Tuesday 17 November 2009

Chances to open new doors.

i been having to change this report due to an error.

Most people with disabilities are very creative so I would interested in your creative work if you have disabilities.

Monday 16 November 2009

Sara Revealed: Some or all poems at all different times.

The future is anyone's guess.

No one can say who with and how your going to spend your old age with.

We should stop living in dream world and let life live and be.

Thinking that live is always going to be the same, we are just failing ourselves hoping for too much.

Never say never but if you do say never, never say never forever.

It's too easy to think the next person is going to be like the last but never think that.

Forgive if you can but start a fresh and forget the past.

If that forgiveness does not work start something fresh and new.

We all make mistakes but please try not to keep making the same mistakes 2000 onwards

When we first got together.

When I first looked at you I wanted you.

You knew I wanted you.

The butterflies flew through my stomach.

How it broke my heart when we broke up.
I missed you so much.

When I saw you with her our love turned to hate.

Everyone must have thought I was mad loving you as much as I did.

I madly took you back because I missed you so much. 2001


Yesterday was another day.

Yesterday was another so just forget what happened if it was a bad day.

Today is what counts so dust yourself down and start all over again.

Tomorrow could be good or bad so just get through today.

There are plenty of days to come but make the most of the good days because they don't last forever. 2000.


Life alone.

You are my friend when I get home my table, chair, radio, computer and television.

My sink, cupboards, toaster, fridge, cooker, microwave and food.

Toilet, sink, bath and shower.

Bed, dressing table, bed side lamp, book, clock, television and wardrobe. 2000 onwards

What would it be like to see nobody?

It would be a lonely world to see nothing and nobody.

The thing is though that you will have nobody to answer you back.

The bad thing is that there will be no one to talk to.

It's dark when you are alone.

Sometimes you do more on your own.

Other times you need help in life. 2000 onwards


Nobody ever goes away.

You sleep beside me.

You move around my bed.

You keep me strong no matter what happens in my life.

Where would I be without you?

Just let me think your there even if you may not.

I need to be strong to get through in life.


You may not be anyone but when I don't want people to answer me back you don't.

You are not anyone, you just my voice be heard.

I talk to myself, people may think I am mad so what?

I only talk to myself about the things that don't get agreed with. 2000 onwards.



Life it's self.

Whatever you have got good keep hold of it.

Take chances that are good that you don't very often get.

Try not to do anything bad that you wish you had not.

Think very carefully before you do anything, it may seem good at the time but turn out a bad idea in the end. 2000 onwards.


Old life.

It's a sad case living on the streets?

Who are they and how did they get there in the first place?

Why are they on the streets?

Most people are sitting outside shops asking for money.

Blankets and getting drunk to keep warm.

Asking for money for food and drink outside cafes. 2000 onwards.

Too much to drink.

You can't remember a thing.

You can't remember what you had said or done.

When people tell you the next day, with some people you don't know whether they are telling you the truth or not.

How do you know whether you have good friends or not? 2000 onwards.

The writing office.

To be able to choose your own hours would be a great idea.

Nice and warm but costly.

Just work in the quiet.


Make your own free time and see people you know.


Write poems, stories and study.

Become self employed.

Only answer to the publishers. 2000 onwards.

How can you think when you drink?

How can you think when your drunk, it beats me?

How can you write when you are drunk other than feeling drunk?

You could write about feeling drunk.

Start work again when you are sober.

Anyone writing when they are drunk can't think, write and walk straight.

I have a job thinking when I am sober let a lone when I am drunk. 2000 onwards.

How drinking can wreck your life.

Drinking can wreck your family.

Drinking can wreck you as a person.

Drinking can wreck marriages, relationship and friendships.

Drinking can wreck jobs and careers.

May be just have one night in a while to get drunk. 2000 onwards.


Drinking.

A lot of people like a drink but drinking too much is not good for anyone.

Once in a blue moon have a heavy night out.

As long as your not drunk every night of the week.


The effects of drinking is not worth it.

Bad head, bad leg, being and feeling sick.

You can pay the price for a long while for being drunk.

Problems are still there the next day but drained away with drink at the time. 2000 onwards.

It happens.

When you meet someone you could fall in love.

When you break up one's heart breaks another.

You seem to think the person who has hurt you has not got any feelings at all but that is not always a case if there's a good reason for the break up.

Some people feel guilty when they hurt people if they love them, it just so happens it's not always to be.

The most common reasons for ended love is that you may not have given one another a great deal of time to get to know one another.

It's also agreed that most people don't feel any guilt at all.2000 onwards.


I am no one special.

I should think no one not even my family know how to take me.

I am not very bright but most of the time I can think of things to write.

I know I need to be strong enough not to care about what people think about me. 2000 onwards.


Not everyone is lucky enough.

Not everyone is lucky to be famous or see themselves famous.

Being famous is not always lucky enough because it's not all what it cuts out to be.

These people have a lot of money but it does not mean they have enough time to spend it because they spend too hours working.

I can't say I will be famous but If I don't see my world shown to the world then my money will go to my family.

My work is not that good I can't see myself been famous but never say never.


I say the same about my career as I do for loving someone, never build my hopes up but never say never. 2000 onwards.


I love you.

I love you for you, don't you forget I do.

I would like you to think that you love me for me too.

You should not love a person for what you can get out them.

I will help you if you help me.

I want you to understand me like I understand you.

I want you to bring me up not bring me down.

I want to find more friends to go out with so you can go out with your friends.

I want to change the kind of person I am but it just takes time.

We must listen to one another.

We must stop hurting one another. 2000 onwards


Life is war.

Life is war from the day you are born.

All because life is full of problems one way or another.

Money and children seem to be the most important problems to deal with.

Education, getting work, driving and etc.

Why am I worrying?

In today's world everyone is in the same boat part from I don't have children and don't drive.

Far too much traffic on the roads.

The world is too dangerous to live in for adults as well as children.

People who have passed exams can't get jobs.

What will be left of us, I don't know.

What it will be in the next generation I dread to think.

I am glad I am not here in the next century.

That we will never know. 2000 onwards.

What do we really want in life?

There are times we want to just get away from Britain.

Very often there's a reason why we can't leave Britain.

There are times that I know I want to make the most of my life like we all do.
You only live once. 2000 onwards.


I remember.

I remember Queen the 2nd's Sliver Jubilee 1977.

I was just seven and a half years old.

Jubilee parties were all along the streets, it was also shown television.

So many years later in 1981, the Queen's Prince Charlies married Lady Dianna. 2000 onwards.

Does anyone know and understand why we are here?

Asking what we are doing on this planet is a silly question that no one knows the answer to.

Are we here for a reason or did it just happen?

May be there is or is not a reason.

What we do know is that we are born to two people male and female.

Whether we are planned or not is another matter.

How we are made and is know to all of us.

How we are born is never known unless we are told.

The kind of people we are normally counts.

The unanswered questions of why the world is here in the first place is a wonder to us all. 2000 onwards.


Rain I don't like.

I don't like the cold rain.

I don't like the cold wind.

The wind and rain together is even worse.

The rain at night washes the moon and the stars away.

It's far too wet for the birds to fly.


I can't wait for the sunshine to rise again.

We should have very little rain when the sun shines. 2000 onwards.

Not enough hours in the day.

So much to do but very little time to do it.

So many things that need doing that don't get done.

Life is far too short to waist.

Life may look like a long piece of string but it is not long enough spread our wings.
The years have gone long before your very eyes.

If you want something to happen, it's up to you to make it happen.

It does not happen if you do nothing.

Time goes too slow if you don't do anything but too fast if you do.

When you least except it something happens not when your looking for it therefore you do except it.

Things don't happen the way I said every single time but that's how it happens most of the time. 2000 onwards.


Your there.

There's a bright star in the sky at night.

That bright star is you up there.

The stars are good people like you who we miss in heaven.


That includes the full and half moon.

I never understood where it all came from. 2000 onwards.


Keep the clocks running fast.

The clock runs very slow if you are sitting at home staring into space.

If you have things to do like I do, you'd be surprised how quickly time will go.

I can never understand people who won't do anything.

I do what I can do because there's a limit what I can do. 2000 onwards.


The bus station.

Britain has a mixed raise.

Too many people knocking into one another.

Too much nose, drugs, bad manners and disrespect.

Britain is living in a depression state, the 21st century could be the worse of all.

I am only glad I won't here to see the 22nd century. 2000 onwards.

I know it would be good for us to spread our wings.

Stuck in the same places day after day.

You just feel as if you are in prison all the while.

This is all because of very little money from the dole on things that are too much money.

I guess we should be glad for what we have got otherwise it's all or nothing.

The rich are getting richer and the poor are getting poorer.

We are not free in this society anyway. 2000 onwards.


Rain.

Why worry about the rain when it's warm other than being wet.

You may need to cool down after a hot day but the rain can go on good many days and nights.

Why not sing in the rain when it's raining anyway?

If the rain is deep, why not swim, bath, shower and wash your hair in it.

It would be cleaner to have a shower and stand up in the rain.

Don't do a Gena Kelly holding the umbrella `SINGING IN THE RAIN. 2000 onwards


your in heaven.

I know I can't see you but may be there is a place called Heaven.

May be the trees and clouds cover you up so you can't be seen.
Heaven is your paradise.

Earth is the place and the truth of mess.

Let's face facts, the truth hurt's but it's what really goes on.

The good things are either here or there, they are most lies, just dreams and things that don't really happen. 2000 onwards.


Friends.

People say that friends are there for you forever but that's never always the case.

Some people are still there for you others are not.

I have only had one friendship in school that has lasted 30 odd years.
Most people come and go out of your life.

Some people don't want to know you at all. 2000 onwards.

Good friends.

If you treat your friends with respect you will get the same respect back.

I have had many happy times with my friend Molly, we have know one since we were four to six years of age.

Every now and then we still see one another after 30 odd yrs.

We both talk about the childhood years we spend together and how life is today.

We went to birthday parties together, had tea at each other houses after school, played games and with our toys together. 2000 onwards.



My very good friend Stacey.

My very good friend Stacey, you were so good to me.

I can only wish I could return the favor back but it's too late now.

I only clashed one fag to her, she crashed me loads.

Stacey was such a great laugh.

She was so kind she bough people load of drinks. 2000 onwards.

No one will replace you.

When we slit I never felt the same when I moved on to love someone else.

I wanted you back with me.

I'd been with you far too long to be without you.

Now I am brave enough to be without you because I am used to it.

I don't love you anymore like I did before.

That does not mean I want to hurt you, I just want to get with my new life.

Don't change your mind now because you wanted me out of your life! Late 1998 - 2001.


ow times have changed.

I thought school was bad enough for me, until I heard on the news about today's children killing the teachers.


Has it been worth my while?

I have spent so man night and days missing you and thinking about you.

What have I done wrong other than liking you in a very special way?

If you like me in this way, you'd be honest with me and tell me what's going.

Sorry if I'm making a fuss for no reason.

lately

The world is not perfect but what happened to learning right from wrong?

In my school days we had bullies which was bad enough but children who murder.

Today adults can't punish like they used to.

Where are children finding guns and knives?

I know it is not all down to children but this is why it's become a dangerous world or have we just woken up to the real world?

Yesterday's children played cowboys and Indians but we did not grow to murder, if so very few did like Mary Bell in the 1960s. 2000 onwards.
My long time lover.

Your always on my mind.

I am always dreaming about you at night and thinking about you in the day.

I am always wishing you are right beside me.

The engagement ring you put on my finger means a lot to me, even though you may not love me anymore.
Please believe that I still love you though.

We have been together on and off for twelve years.

We have been through the hard times just like all people.

May be one day I will have the chance to show my love for you again, only when I know that you love me. 2006


Society.

I am a single person who can't stand stopping in at night.

I see people round the Wolverhampton who seem fed of life.

Life is how it is, there are good and bad people everywhere.

Some people are kind and other people are very strange.

Too many people sitting on streets begging for money and cigarettes.

If they are strangers to you, never give them anything.

Some people may have had hard times but others may just give you hard times.

You can't tell what people are like if you don't know them. 2000 onwards.


Parents.

Parents can mess you head up, most of them don't mean and other do it in a nice way.

We must remember that parents are human too and they are someone's children too.

They have childhood histories just like we do.

With some parents what they went through they put on to you but other parents don't do that.

Many parents stop together too long when they are not getting on.

Love can be hard to break even when there's a lot of hate.

Not all parents are the same but don't bring the next generation!

We are only human beings we can't please our kids all the time.

That's one of the reasons I have not got any kids, I would not be good at it and I would not please no matter hard I try.

See the world of freedom.

Think how many times you can have freedom without been tied down.

To be fare like every human being.

Today is a dangerous world without any punishment by the rules of the law.

You can't tell who is a good and bad parent because no one can put their child on the right track without been punished by the law.

Society is allowing today's children to go as wild as they want to. 2000 onwards.

Time goes by.

We have been together twelve years on and off.

Ok, we fell apart and got bad together like fools.

At the end of the day we love and care for one another.

People may well think we are mad.

We may well be wrong for one another but love keeps us hanging on together.2006

Love.

Love can happen when you don't except it.

When you look for love you can't find but it can come when your not looking.

Like other part of life, love can make you feel happy and sad but not always at the same time. 2000 onwards.

You may see a few of poems are written from my story ' Talking To The Graves.'

How unkind life is.

You should not be lying in a coffin, in a gravestone and graveyard.

You should be lying in a romance wood with me.

We should be eating lunch in the park on hot summer's day.

We should not been dead,as you are I must be too.

Not that there is much happiness in the world today anyway.

Not that I am dead but I don't feel the joys of spring.

This winter is too cold to give happiness. 20.11.2005

How can I remember, how can I forget?

Are you just lying looking at the lid of your coffin?

Is it cold, hot, just right or don't you feel it in heaven?

How can I forget seeing your face in the newspaper?

How can I remember you face to face?

I did not meet you or saw you but you saw me.

May be all this is a dream but you still have friends from earth talking to you.

You were taken from the world before I had chance to see you as a person, let alone getting to know you. 20.11.2005

I wish.

I wish I could touch your grave, then you could come back alive.

If only you could move again, I wonder and who you could be?

Would you be an animal or a human being? Could even be both?

You could from animal to human or the other way round.

Would really matter as long as I see you?

I will never have a chance to see.

Why did you have to go? 19.11.2005


Why did you have to go?

I did not know you.

I was only dreaming about you as my dream ghost.

You saw me but I did not see you until I screamed.

You because interested in me but I did not know you.

You went to war to save other lives.

You were far too young to die.

You had a life a head of you too.

I know I am so proud of you for saving disabled people.

You gave up your life for disabled people.

When your life was taken there's was save thank you so much.20.11.2005

Back to truth I think.

It's getting closer to Freddie Mercury.

Put the beautiful flowers on your grave!

What would you like red roses?

You always seem full of romance, even when you sing your songs.

It's hard to believe that it's fifteen years to day without you.

You have broken so many hearts who miss you.

They would love to love you as well as kiss you.

Who can blame them?

You stood out so well. 19.11.2005


All change.

It does not seem as if it was a of looking at but it was at the time.

Five pound kept a family during the first and second world war.

Children did not get a lot but they were happy.

The only sad loss were lives were lost of people they knew.

Bothers, Fathers, Uncles, sons, lovers, husbands and friends who were in both world wars.

Childrens' toys did not cost anything at all because they hardy got any toys.

Hide and seek and many more were games of all that children made up themselves.

Today they get a lot more but anything they get is never enough no matter how much.

It is true when they say to us, " You don't know you born."
We must be thank for what we have got. 20.11.2005


When I write.

When I write I worry about spelling, grammar and whatever else is in English.

I know there are times that I miss words out of sentences due to me dyslexia.

Out of all that, when I get an idea to write something it takes me ages to stop.

I must get to a stage I don't interest people when I get carried away with my writing.

This is were I feel guilty because I ready want to interest my readers.

I just don't know when to stop when the mind get thinking, the pen and key board get's writing and typing.

My fingers tap away and my mind get's carried away.

There are some days I feel sure of myself and that I write alright.

There also days I have nothing in my mind at all 2007 - 2008


Been there and done.

Nothing surprises me anymore.

I have fallen down and got back up again.

I was born with lack of oxygen to the brain at birth.

I spent a lot of time after I was born in hospital because I was having a lot of fits.

I was bullied in school and many other things went on too.

My Appendixes popped when I was 13 years old.

I had Throat cancer when I was 23 year old.

I have bad luck with love of men that give me pain in the end.

Haven't we all been through these things?

Nothing surprises me good and bad anymore, I just take whatever life throws at me. 20.11.2005


Under that lovely smile.

Under that lovely smile she must have felt lonely, even though she had love and marriage.

It must have been a blow to her when she lost her Father at the age of eight.

It must have a been hard for her husband Ted living with a wife who had gone through something that had affected her so much through her childhood.

She had such a short life with her children.

Oh Sliver why did you not hang on for your childrens' sake? 20.11.2005

Stress on women.

You are on your own feeling as if the whole world is getting at you.

The good news that no one owns you.

You don't want to belong to any but yourself when life feels it's getting on top of you.

You have a lot of love to give but you don't want to depend on men, well not all the time.

You either love or you don't.

Women should be strong enough to take what happens in life, well that's what a lot of men seem to think anyway, 20.11.2005.
It's not nice.

It's not nice when it's a foggy night, which make the nights even darker.

When it's foggy everywhere seems so far away.

You can't see a sole in the street even if there are loads of people.

Drivers have to drive very careful in the dark or night.

In the fog day looks like night but the night looks even darker in the fog.

Fog makes winter even more colder than the snow mainly these days 20.11.2005.


When I feel close to you.

I feel close to you when I lye close to you.

You make me feel safe when you make me feel happy.

It would be lovely if you would stay a bit longer.

It would be lovely to stay a little longer early lye in together.

It's great when I open my eyes and you are right beside me.

I have learned to love you too long and too much I can't let go, even though you hurt me so. 2007

To the one I love.

You are the one I love so much.

You brighten up my day.

You make me feel happy but then you make me feel sad.

You guide me through that dark tunnel that I can't see.

We have been together so long that we share an everyday memory together.

Today I love more than yesterday, that's even more than before. 2007



How do I know if you love me or not if you don't tell me and show me?

You know I find it hard to stop loving you.

Can you disbelieve that I love you?

If that's the case, why am I still in your life? (Your the love of my life.)

You are now say that I don't show love towards you but you never show love towards me these days.
Why should I make the first move?

Why should I try with someone who does not love me anymore or who does not know what he wants?

You will have no problem showing your love towards me because you know I love you.

If you show me love I will show you love.

If you don't show me love, then I know my answer.

How long to do you except me to be mad enough to want you?
It's only because I love that I am just around you.

I just want you to let me know whether you want me to stay or go. 2007.


I am so hurt.

I sit back thinking about you everyday, wondering if you are faithful to me or not.

It's going to take a while until I can get my trust back in you.

I love you for you, which is everything about you.

What I don't like is your lies and changes of stories that you have told me.

I can never forget the way you cheated on me, you really did hurt me.

When you are drunk you scar me.

There are good and bad sides of you like in most of his but when your nice your really nice or your really nasty.

You can be very funny and make me laugh, handsome and romantic.

You are very romantic when you want to be. 2000 onwards.


My worse mistake.

I know I am such a mad fool.

For some reason I still love you.

Now that I am thirty I am frightened of not loving again.

May be now I am out of my twenties men have gone off me.

May be I am going to get less attractive the older I get.

Now I have left you I am not rushing into anything with anyone.

Being alone is better than being with a bad man like you.

You drink far too much on your tablets.

You go on and off with other woman behind my back.

You have tried to hit me when you have been drunk when no one was there.

For some reason I still love you but I can't put up with you. 9.1.2000


The way many men should their feelings.

Many men bottle their feelings up inside themselves.

They make out they don't get upset that easy but they really keep their hurt and pain to themselves.

The only time many men cope with pain is when they are hospital, this could be why men don't give birth.

The whole truth many men are big babies. 10.2.2000


I miss you forever more.

You were the best lover I ever had.

We were so long together but now so long apart.

You are always inside my heart.

Life has not been easy without you but by writing poetry helps me accept that we are apart.
I think about you everyday and dream about you every night.

I must be with you, no one else will do.

May be I will love again and get on with my life but may be I won't love anymore. 2000 onwards.


I love someone but I hate him too.

I hate him when he tells lies and makes me cry.

I don't know why I seem to love the men who treat bad.

I dropped him like a ton of bricks because I could not take anymore pain.

When he tells me he loves and cares about me, I think it's a lie.

Why does he hurt and upset me so much?

I wish he would have told me he's seeing another woman or other women.

I wish I could get this hurt and pain off my mind. 10.2.2000

Lucky.

I am thankful for everyday.

I know and accept that life can't be good all the time.

I am not saying I don't get angry and mad.

At the end of the day like everyone I have a life to live.

I am not alone, there are millions of people besides me who have problems.

There are worse people off than me, the grass is greener on the other side.

We must get on with life, the life the world is giving us the chance to have. 12.4.2000

What are you getting up to?

When you tell me you love me, do you tell me the truth or a lie?

Do you care about me or do you just want my company because you can't have her whoever she is?

If you don't love me, why don't you just good bye.

There are plenty more fish in the sea you know, you don't need to lie and cheat on me.

I feel sad, bitter and very hurt and I am not jealous of her whoever she is. ( Why should I be jealous of her?)
If you respect me just leave me free to get on with my life but don't leave me with all your lies!

If you have anything to say, why don't you tell me straight away rather than cheating behind my back?

I can tell by the way you have been acting, you have been treating me like a piece of dirt. 10.2.2000

To clear up what one has done wrong.

To talk about it and get off one's chest is one way of getting it out in the open.

To be caring about each others' feelings.

To make up it up in the way they want.

To tell the truth about what one has done wrong. 10.2.2000


Living with and without many men.

Without there would not be love then there would not be stress.

Without many men many women would be free but many would be lonely.

With many men there would give many women many tears.

With many men there would be many children.

Many little boys grow up like many men.

Many little girls grow up like many woman.

Without many men many woman would not be ironing.

On there are some good things woman can do without men but also good things many of us women can do with many men.

There are many bad things that happen to many women with many men but some good.

We must really that many women treat many men good and bad too. 10.2.2000.

We are lovers.

We are lovers to me there's no other.

I hope you feel the same way too.

The door may well be closed at the moment but it will be open in two weeks.

Believe me I am home.

I know it's hard.

I can't blame you for not trusting.

Once hurt, it's not easy to trust again.

Give yourself time to get to know me first.

Believe me, it's the truth I won't let you down.

I will close my eyes in the sun and I will not stop thinking about you. 26.5.2000


Keep hold of me, you won't get hurt anymore.

I don't worry about getting hurt by you.

You can trust me too, you won't hurt me anymore.

You are not trapped by me and I am not trapped by you.

You don't own me, I don't own you.

Both of us must be careful though. 26.5.2000

When I am alone with you.

When I am alone with you, I really feel as if I belong to you.

When I am on the phone to you, I feel as if I belong to you.

It's a lovely feeling to be held tight and kissed right through the night.

You are the only person who has ever made me feel just right.

When I don't see you every night seems very lonely but I enjoy it when I do.

I miss you all the while but when I see you it feels worth while. 26.5.2000


Now I am with you.

Now I am with you my whole life has changed for the better.

I can put my trust into you.

I should not have put trust in the others before you.

Even if you are mine, I am not trapped so let's take our time.

That does not mean I will hurt you because I won't.

It means that you can trust me not to go off with another man.

I'd love to feel your love and kisses right through the night.

I can't believe that this has happen to us, I miss you so much.

I understand that you don't get a lot of sleep as you work through the night.

Because I love you I can't accept that I don't see a lot of you.

I can only hope that there's hopes for you and me.

As long as we are together, it does not matter what we do. 4.8.2000.


Hello John

Hello John, I know you can hear me.

I keep knocking and calling your name out loud enough for you hear me.

Has anyone told you about me and your best mate James together.

Thank you Junior and Tracey.

Me and James got together after you left us.

I am able to thank you even though I can hear you response.

When I go to the pubs in the town at night, I know you will keep me safe from heaven.

I wish you were here to keep an eye on people hurting me while James is at work at night.

I am sure James can trust you to do that.

All the same you will still look down from heaven to earth to us all. 4.8.2000



Your not worth it.

You are just not worth it.

One day you will need help.

There will be no one around but your family.

How can you except me to help and wait around for when you left me for another woman?
I am not sad anymore I have a new life.

Sometimes I don't know if I want to be your friend or not.

What I do know is that you are going to end up a lonely person with sadness and wishing you had not left me like you did.

You will be very lucky if someone else puts up with you like I did.

If you are lucky enough to meet someone nice and new please don't let me down again by letting her down.
I am not sure I know you anymore. 25.6.2000



What has been missing?

You make me feel angry because you were not around to be my Father from the start of my life.

That's what's missing out of my life we can't change or go back because it's the past.

I know there are so many people in the world who are in the shoes as me if not worse but shame on a Father who has missed on his childrens' childhood.

As far as relationships go I find it far too easy to fall in love not that I am looking for a Father figure.

When relationships end I break down and I go to pieces.

It can take me a long time to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

It can take me a long to believe in myself that things will one day change for the better.

I am not as strong than I think I am.

I always think I never move on but I do.

If I was not writing poetry I would not cope with life like I do mainly when I go through bad times.

I know I have always had something missing out my life I don't what it is but whatever it is it's caused by you.

May be there is that person who will love me for me and make my life complete but I have not meet him yet but then again I may not.

He may or may not be out there. 4.7.2000


I am sure this love is for me.

I am sure this love is for me, the kindness one to be.

I will have to wait and see if it's to be.

I am sure he is the right man for me.

To me he's the best man I have ever known and seen.

He makes me feel happy and he makes me feel warm.

I can see that he loves and care about so much and I do about him too.

He loves me and protects me.

We listen to one another.

Our feelings are towards one another. 23.6.2000


Love.

Some people win the luck of love but others don't.

Most of us get pain and love others get pain and loneliness.

Who said life is perfect no one can except it to be?

How boring it would be if life was perfect.

Hearts get broke and you feel as if you have been stabbed with a knife.

Loneliness can also be a painful thing.

We must not thing too bad because it may happen to you.

No one enjoys pain : everyone goes through disappointment.

Everyone has to keep strong in life.

No one wants to weak : no wants to get hurt that's life One does not go without the other.

It has to be bad to be good. 20.11.2005

Not alone.

Why has it take me years to knew that I am not alone in this world?

Why has it take years to know you are the wrong man for me but I love you.

Why are we living in a slow thinking world.

I am sorry I was not aware that others stuffer broken hearts too.


It's a closed world for everyone where we feel as if we have to keep our thoughts to ourselves.

I was so wrapped up in my own world.

I was not really aware of the world around me.

I did not feel guilty about it until now.

I am so sorry that I did not see the world like other people do. 20.11.2005

Time to put it behind me.

I love you but I will forget them.

Now that I am with you after all these years, please keep me warm for Christmas.

Now I will love you without fear forever.

I know we have had plenty of ups and downs: plenty of ups and downs to come.

We must stop hurting one another.

My love for you is far too strong to walk away.

Now I can forget about the rest of the men who I thought loved me for me.

I have been with you far too long not to love you. 2005 to 2006


Just to be together.

Would it not be nice to see the moon and stars together just like you and me?

I'd love to sit by sea to watch the tide go in and out.

I'd love to watch the flowers grow in the garden every singe day.

I don't want to believe that there are witches mixing people in soup.

I want to believe the fairies are in the garden but they are not. 2005 - 2006.


I don't want much.

I don't want much, I just want you.

I just want your love.

I just want you to keep me warm.

I will give you space after Christmas time.

I just want to beside you.

I want to be with you when you want me. 20.11.2005


Anything you do does not surprise me.

I have had to get used to the way you have always been all these years.

Nothing seems to be new about you but still you can't change a man so I am not going to change me either.

I don't think you have ever known what you wanted in all the years I have known you.
You don't know whether you want to be lovers, friends or what.

I just need to achieve what I need to do in life like leaving you, which I am not strong enough yet.

It's no good staying with a man who does not know whether he loves me or not.

I am now a woman getting towards 40, I am too old for your silly games and my career is coming along at last.

The young school girl went over twenty years ago, I have achieved more through adult life and school was no help at all.

How wrong was I to think I would not get by in life.

If only I knew then what I know now.

My career is my writing, which is getting.
By the way make up your mind whether you want to be my friend or lover again! 13.1.2009

The truth hurts.

Sleeping on the streets rough is no joke, there's nothing to do.

It's no joke when your asking for money and a smoke.

With this credit crunch money wise everyone is in the same boat.

Nothing to eat feeling very weak.

The days and nights are long and boring.


No one knows what the future holds, it does not seem to be getting any better.

Many children in care, most of them are not with their families.

There's so much terror in the world in each and every way: each and every day.

The world needs peace and love.

It's a sad fact that so many people young die through a lack of food due to a lack of money through the credit crunch and war.


How much more pain can the world take until it breaks?

They are so brave to stand the strain.

How can we heel their wounds when they cannot heel them on their own?

Having to cope with little money is war on it's own. 2009

I don't give up on life because it's hard.

Love has killed me inside but I am still here.

Look what you may have done to me but I am strong!

Ribbed my insides out with pain.

You have made it hard for me to move on but I have left you anyway.

One day you will be sorry because there's no going back, I have forgiven you far too much in the past.
It's too late for you now, I can't take no more. 12.6.2009

I am here for you part two.

My feelings are mixed up with happiness and sadness.

I also feel a lot of guilt inside me wishing I had not let things go too far.

The kind of feeling that is hard to control is love.

I understand that times are hard for us both at the moment one way or the other.

I just hope we are here for one another, I'm here for you I won't be very far.
I am here for you any time you want me to.

No matter how long it takes I will be there for you.

I am here as long and short as you want me to be.

You said you can't see the light at the end of the tunnel.

I can't say I will be great help but I will be here for you anyway. 12.6.2009


I have a long way to go but I will get there.

Here we go again but never will you put me through it.

The first time you hurt me, I never wanted to love again.

I thought there was not a light at the end of the tunnel, I was wrong.

There's no going back this time, you don't know what you want so it's too late if you do.

I don't think you ever do or did know what you want.
I have been up this road with you far too many times before, there's no reason for me to be there anymore.

I have hung around where I am not wanted for far too long.

I never thought I'd see the day I'd get used to you messing me around but I see why I have to face it anymore.

Now it's taught me to believe in myself and that I get my life back together again.

I can't say who I will love in future but it won't be you. 12.6.2009.

You confuse me.

I left you because you did not know how to feel about me.

I also left you because I had to stop feeling you as you did, you were hurting me too much.

You have completely confused me and used me.

I need to get over you, which is not easy to do.

You won't stop me loving again but it won't be you.

You won't beat me forever, I am too strong for you. 12.6.2009


Life goes on without you.

It may well be still dark in here but I believe on I am on my way to the light, one day I will get there.

I will find happiness in some way one day.

Life goes on without you.

Your not the only man in the world.

How foolish was I to chose you.

I have no shameto hide from the world but shame on you.

You have bought all this pain and loss yourself.

Say hello to loneliness.

I will get through without you somehow.

I can think more clearer without wondering where you are like I used to.

I know what I want more in life than you do.


Some people blame you for us but others blame me for us.

Silly me, I keep forgetting there's no us oh that's good.

A lot of people have asked about you but I am fed up with.

At the same time they think I should get on with my life as I doing.


I have not cried a tear over you this time but I haven't felt sadness.
I can live without your love. 13.6.2009

Open a new door.

Days are early and nights are young.

Pain is still but it will pass.

I'm very willing to move on.

You feel the same too.

We don't want to put our pain on one another but still willing to get to know one another.

We must not give one another our grief we have had from others. 14.6.2009

I miss you badly.

I am missing you badly but I am looking forward to the day I do.

My mind is all over the place bet ween happy and sad but I will get through.

It's wise of you to say that we need to get to know one another first.

Let's not rush into things.

The past takes far too long to get over.

I only wish I could cry but I can't.

At least when I cry it will get out my system.

May be it's best to write poetry to clear my mind instead.

Cause I like you a lot, I know I was unsure at first, change is a new thing.
I will look forward to a new slow start.


I find it hard to eat and sleep.

I can't stop thinking about you.

I understand that I am not on my own, you have a past to get over too.

This is why it's wise not to rush into things.14.6.2009


Whatever life throws at me.

I must be strong!

I must be brave!

I must be calm!

Heart breaks happen to us all.

Sara fall down and get back up again!

For the first time in your life, don't be weak! 12.7.2009

Feelings.

I still love you with all my heart.

When you left me life became rather hard.

It seems as if my loving feelings for you are there for a life time.

However you feel for me, how I feel for you stays.

You are my best caring male friend.

I mean every word I say.

I still care and worry about you a lot.

Please don't think about saying a lot.

I don't want to come bet ween happiness now, it's not just about what I want is it?
I must carry to accept whatever the future holds.

I must be happy with the life I have got.

Deep down the memories of you are not forgotten. 26.2.2000


Love's young dream.

I will kiss you until we get together.

It's time to have time apart.

We will miss one another when we leave.

When I see you again I will be happy again. Late 20th - Early 21st century.


Hoping to move on.

>Hope is a wishful thinking word.

Thinking can be very hard to do these days.

No jobs and no college courses until September.

It seems ages now wait for exam results but it won't be long now I hope.

Why do people go from education when jobs are so hard to find?

Where's the light at the end of the tunnel?

There just does not seem to be any spaces for any jobs mainly with a lot of companies closing down. Late 20th century onwards.


Your history.

You cheated on me.

You lied to me.

I finished with you because I would not put up with you for the rest of my life.

I need one big help to get over you.

It just takes pen and paper to get my anger and pain out then we are through.

I don't need to lay, your not worth it, it's true. Late 20th century onwards.

Sorry I am here.

I am sorry I am here.

I am sorry I was born.

Sorry for the grief I have caused the world.

I did not mean to cause hard work to you all.

Do I have any good in me at all?

I am a human being I make mistakes just all of you.

I am a disabled person society seems to put me down for making mistakes all the time.

Life does not seem to be worth living or dieing if it's like that.

If that's the case why are we here? Late 20th century onwards.


There's only so low you can go.

We all accept that life can't be good to us all the time.

We know that there's no need to break down at the most little things.

There's only so low you can go.

Running and hiding is not going to change a thing but grief is another thing.

There's more than one person who has to cope with sadness, anger and pain.

It's more how we react to whatever we are going through. Late 20th century onwards.


You find it hard to believe.

You find it to believe that I still love you.

If I don't love you what am I still doing in your life?

You are still the love of my life.

If anyone loves you so much it's me.

Who will love you as long as I have done?

Who knows what the future brings?

If our love does not last a life time I may not love again.Late 20th century onwards.


Let's have a quiet night!

Let's stop in together, your place or mine?

Let's not see a sole.

Let's enjoy love and passion in our own way!

Sooner or later the dark nights are drawing in.

Put the heating on as both of us hug together.

Why not warm up like toast until we roast.

Today we have lost our old fashioned ways with the coal and electric fires doing home made toast on the forks on the fires. Late 20th century onwards.


Summer.


>Good night sleep tight.

Too hot to sleep so count sheep.

If you can sleep please dream of me.

Tomorrow the sun will rise from the rain to make a rainbow.

Red sky at night shepherd's delight.

Good brave people lose their lives to keep us alive.

Too much war but hardy any peace in the world today. Late 20th century onwards.


I find it hard to show my love.

It's so hard to show love to one another every night of the week.

I know we spend too much time together.

I keep thinking to myself I must walk the streets alone but I never do it.

I do it to be strong to be without you.

I will have a mobile phone in case you want me at any point. 2001 - 2009


Thinking about you.

Here I am thinking about you, after twelve years together.

Ok, we slit up for four of those years but you were the still the one I loved.

Alright I met someone else so did you.

I know I don't show you how I feel but I am waiting for you to make the first move for love. 2001 onwards.


Relationships part two.


When we think of the word relationships we think of lovers.

Relationships are a way of getting knowing one another.

You have relationships with your family and friends but not in the same way as your lovers.

Friends are people who you saw in school, work, college out in the pub and etc.

Families who have raised you since birth. Late 20th century onwards.


Blank.

Do you go blank at a point you can't think?

Your in a writing mood but you don't what to write.

When you are sitting at home for a long time, does your head in.

You either think too much or not at all.

Sitting in the house on a hot summer's day is a waste of life.

Take a walk to the library out in the fresh air.

Get some ideas together from different books. Late 20th century onwards.


Goodness knows why.

Goodness knows why I love you, called me mad but I do.

I would lie if I told you I did not love you.

You know you can be romantic if you want to.

You make me happy.

You make me sad.

You make me laugh.

You make me cry.

That's what love is goodness why.

All the time your always on my mind.

I can't help who I fall in love with.

That person happens to be you.

I can't believe I still feel the same about you after all these years. Late 20th century onwards.


Time to put things right.

Don't think I will put the blame on you forever.

You told me it was the most silly mistake you ever made.

When you left me for her I thought I was having a long nightmare.

You also told me that I drove you away, I am so sorry I was not aware that was the case.

We hurt one another really badly, I think it's time to put it behind and start again.

Let's try to enjoy our lives together and put the past behind us.

Life is full of bad and good. 2001 onwards.


Why do I love you.

I love your smile and laugh.

You cheer me up and make me laugh.

You then make me sad and mad.

I love you when you get close to me.

You can make me feel calm when I get fed up of this society.

I love you for what you give me in life.

I love you for your love and kisses.

I am here for you if you want me too.

Like everyone we get our good and bad times. Late 20th century onwards

Forgotten.

I have a memory but I have forgotten.

It does not seem to make sense.

What is your name?

I forgot, don't tell me.

I don't want to remember.

What did you look like?

It does not matter I think I may have had a nightmare.

Did you kiss me as my month poured with blood?

So what, why did I ask that question?

Were we in love?

No it was just a big mistake.

Last I heard of you, you were married.

You ask me to marry you, I told you no but good luck to her.

It was only a dream that we were close.

I can never even remembered the music you listened to.

It was only a nightmare that I woke up in tears to.

I have forgotten so much I am so glad you went off with her. 2000


The love of my life.

I know we need some time apart, I am trying to sort things out so I can give you some space.

The last thing I want is to lose you again.

I want to be able to miss you so I can put my arms around you when I do see you.

I want to be able to earn a bit more money in my pocket so I can give you space but finding work is hard.

College is off for the summer until September.

May be I am still living in those old fashioned ways waiting to see how the man I love feels about me.

I wonder if we will still love one another in twenty years time.

Will you still be mine? 2001 onwards.

It has not been easy.

Even though we slit up and fall out so often we love one another.

So many times I have cried over you.

We have so many wishes not hurting one another like we have done.

The loving nights we have had all these years together.

Why can't we bring them back.

You may not think so but my love gets strong all the time for you.

How we manage to love and hurt one another I don't know. 2001 onwards.


What does valentines day mean to me?

When it rains there's no love for me.

When sun is out I feel as if love is about.

When there is rain then there is sun love is on then it is off.

This is how feel on valentines day. Late 20th century onwards.


I wish I had not.

Why do I say things that I don't mean?

How much I wish I had not said what I said to you last night.

Why did I say I wanted a man to treat me bad?

May be there's no looking back on what I say to you.

I will be lucky if you forgive me.

I don't blame you if you tell me it's too late.

I should have shown my love for you.

I'm very lucky if I can show how I feel about you. Late 20th century onwards.


The next day.

I can't remember whether I drank or not.

I must have said a lot of bad things to you last night, I'm so sorry about that.

I wish last night had not have happened but it did.

I wish we could stop hurting one another so much as we love one another so much.

I never know or not whether you are in the mood for love.

I am frightened in case you feel I am doing what you don't want.

Whatever mood your in, I know your tired when you finish work. 2001 onwards.

Sometimes it's hard to forgive.

Even when you love someone it can be hard to forgive.

It can even be hard to not to forgive.

Sometimes it can be hard to love a person again.

Some people forgive others don't.

Some people feel love for others, others don't.

Now I just have a set friends which is good. 2001 onwards.

I forgive you.

I forgive you what you did to me years ago.

Goodness knows why I do!

I forgive you because I love you.

May be I have forgiven but I have not forgotten.

May be I was partly to blame too, I may have driven you away.

I am trying hard to change so are you. 2001 onwards.


Never fall in love.


Never fall in love, once you get into love it's hard to get out of it's like a drug.

Love can also be hard to want to get out of.

I have loved so many times, you'd think I'd understand it but I don't.

When I was younger I thought I understood love: I thought I knew all but I did not.

Happiness starts then sadness ends until you love the same person again or someone new.

Love is a never ending story, the same feelings but different reasons for those feelings.

Very few people last forever.

Relationship break ups can cause depression and even loneliness.

Once that depression kicks it's hard to beat it.

Love is a strange that we can't live with or without. Late 20th century onwards.


I love poetry.

I love poetry it helps me get things out of my head.

I tend to feel a bit bad because poetry is not a lot of people's cup of tea, well it's poetree.

It's hard to keep people interested because you can't help what goes on inside your head.

Poetry is my way of saying I feel good and bad about things.

I love you poetry you help me get by but bet ween do we interest our readers? Late 20th century onwards.


My writing helps my relationship.

My writing helps my relationship, gives me time to think alone.

All it takes is putting pen to paper and typing it on computer.

I write about more than just relationships.

I need a little job to earn enough money to save up for publishers. Late 20th century onwards.

My only love.

You may think I don't love you but your wrong.

You know how I feel about you as well as I do.

I have known twelve years too long to not love you.

What am I doing in your life if I don't love you?

Why do you let me in if you don't love me?

We are both pains in the backside in our own ways.

There are times when we get one another down but no one's eyes compares with yours.

If I could put more into this relationship I would.

There's so many things I find hard to explain. 2005 to 2006.


Why do we complain?

No money and no job.

To make more friends.

Never mind who knows what the future brings?

Why do we complain?

When we could have been born into a world of no food on the table and no education.

We could have been born into dirty places in many cases no places at all.

Rubbish left in bins.

Everyone has to live life we can't always avoid it no matter what happens.Late 20th century onwards.


You are worth my while?


I have spent so many nights and days missing you and thinking about you but you are worth my while.
I can't help but liking you in a special way?
You have been there for me when times are hard time, they still are, I thank you so much even though you situations are hard.
I have accepted your hard situation from the start.
May be it's hard for you to believe in me because of what you have been through with other women.
If you let me I will carrying on taking the situation on board, no matter what the situation is
I know how you feel I have been there before with men, trusting is a very hard thing.

I know you like me in a special way too.


This is a private poem to say what's going through my mind.
I know special bonds can fail but I am with you as long as you want me.
You paid interest in me, I wasn't sure at first.
It was a shock to know that someone was interested in me at that early stage of me having hard time with ex partner.
It took me a week or two to know that I am interested you after all.
I was in a bad state of mind at time, which I am still going through a hard time with my ex partner, I don't need anymore stress. 29.6.10


It came when I wasn't looking?

I wouldn't have known any different if you hadn't have told me you felt this way towards me.
If I had liked you in a special way the same as I do without you telling me, I would have took it that you didn't feel the same way, then I would have moved on.
I wouldn't have told you if you hadn't of told me.
Was I dreaming, I'm sorry if I was dreaming.


I have taken everything there is to take on board.
I will go on taking the situation on board if you will let me.
I wouldn't go along with it if I wasn't keen on you.
I wouldn't say things I don't mean if I wasn't keen.
I don't lie, mess about or change my mind and I stick to my word.
I don't string men along.
I understand trust is hard for you so it is for me.
I'm not perfect is anyone? No!

I've done my best to not give you any stress so I will carrying on trying to be the same.
I understand that nothing lasts forever but I'm here as long as you want me.
If you ever love someone else, I know you will tell me.
I will move on if I have to.
I know you won't leave me in the dark wondering what's going if you have anything to tell me.
I have trusted you with all my heart from the start, I will carry on doing so if you let me.
29.6.10


It needs to be time to go now.

It seems to be a good time to go now.
You told me last night my friendship and support isn't enough so there's no point me coming down.
Let's see if you strong enough?
Who cares if you not, you've only made life hard for yourself.
What goes around comes around.
You won't know who you have lost until you have lost me.
I can't through anymore with you and I don't have loving feelings for you anymore.
If you don't understand that I will have to go, you blew it yourself.
I have tried to be your friend but you want more out of that I haven't got the feelings to give anymore.
Us rowing like this isn't fair on your Mum.
You always get like this when you have too much to drink.
Your such hard work whether your drunk or not.
You row with everyone. 4th July 2010


I'm getting away from you.

I've had enough, I'm getting away from you.
I think I have just woke up from a long nightmare.
The shock will come to you one day soon enough.
The lonely and lost change will come to you.
I understand what you are going through but you have only made things worse for yourself.
Why should I feel guilty and bad about leaving you like you hurt me three years ago and many times before that.

I have made too many chances, no more, what do you think about that.
I have taken you back so many times because I loved, I tried been your friend but you have now made me hate you.
After you upset me last night I don't even want to see you no more.
I'm taking no more.
You never loved me when I loved you, now you lie to me saying you love me now I don't love you.
May be things have turned round, I'm not going to change back to the soft person I was before.
You won't walk over me like a door mat anymore.
You have blew it all, soon I will be out the door.

You shouldn't play silly games.
You will never change you will always be the same.
I have put up with your silly games for too many years, no more.
We can't go on forever like this at least I can't. July 4th 2010