Friday 29 January 2010

ACCESS ALL AREAS NOW NEWS

Sara Jane Gorman Access All Areas Now! Learning Disability Awareness Trainer, Jessica Bromley Access All Areas Now! Learning Disability Awareness Trainer, Dave Pike Employment Pathways Employment Officer, Vinnie Rogers Wolverhampton City council Teacher trainer, Lisa Wolverhampton City council Teacher trainer and Paddie Quick Library manager.


This meeting was taken place at the Jenny Lee Centre in Wolverhampton, on Monday 25th January 2010 at 10.30am.

The Purpose of the meeting.

We were all chatting to Paddie Quick who is the Library manager of the Special Needs library. It is plan that on Wednesday 28th April 2010, me and Jess will be holding a training session for Paddie's staff. Now the library training is done, which became a session. Paddie and his staff felt as if they had learned a lot in the terms of accessible information. Understanding people and the world around you is a hard thing when you have learning disabilities. One of the staff they has a learning disability. They were all a nice crowd one or two knew me when I worked myself at Warstones library many yrs ago. I was thinking about doing a talk or something on my experiences of when I worked at the library.

Staff and managers in the libraries are finding it very hard to understand people with Learning Disabilities and Mental Health problems. Even though myself have only got mild Learning Disabilities and Mental problems, it's still very hard for us to be understood and understand people but it's not as bad for us now as it was in the past. We have not forgotten the hard times we had with communication so we can help staff and managers understand people who find it hard to make themselves understood, this happens to us too.

The Special Needs library delivers things like books, DVDS and etc to people's homes. These people who access the Special Needs library tend to have Learning Disabilities and Mental Health problems of some kind. Most of these people need special aids to help them access information in an easy way. This will help them to hear, listen, understand and read in an easy way.

Many of those people go through near enough what myself and Jess go through ourselves or we may have had a history of some of those things, depression, Anxiety, behavior problems, easy confused and etc. Once people understand what to except from these people may be there will be less lack of communication and attitudes may get better.

MOSTLY VALENTINE POETRY

WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?

I once thought you loved me, how wrong and blind was I, thinking about it, I don't think you ever loved me at all.
You cut me up into pieces like a raiser blade going through me, until you made me bleed.
You made it hard for me to love someone else but you don't stop my life anymore.
I should be used to you being unkind to me by now.
I have been there before you hurt me so bad.
I won't let you hurt me anymore.
This time Ant, I have put a brave face on.
Now it's time to get rid of that pain and anger inside me. 10.7.2009

I HOPE I WON'T GO BACK TO BEING LIKE I WAS AT THE AGE OF 27 IN 1997.

I am nearly 40 now, I should be a stronger woman now not weak like I was at the age of 27.
I am trying to stop myself from being as bad as I was 13 yrs ago.
I shouldn't have let you get to me, how mad it was me having a breakdown just over you having gone off with another woman.
I mustn't drink heavy like I did then.
We are over for good this time, there will never ever be a next time.
When I feel bad I must write things down poetry instead of breaking down.
In my body and mind I must be strong.
I mustn't feel depressed or angry because of you. 10.7.2009

No MAN IS DRIVING ME MAD.

No man is driving me to drink.
No man is driving me to cry, I have ran out of tears to cry.
No man is driving me to end my life.
I will get through pain somehow and someway.
Last time you hurt me, I could not see the light at the end of the tunnel then things got better.
Now I believe things will get better again one day I will see a bright light again. 10.7.2010

YOUR TURN WILL COME.

I am so glad to have a great friend in you through good and bad times.
The way I am feeling at the moment, I am not myself.
It would not be fair to put my pain on to you.
I miss you so much but I am glad of the space we apart with the way I am in myself right now. I Need to get myself right again, I have done before, I will do it again.
I will spend as much time as I have writing about how I feel about you. 10.7.2009


JOHN KEATS.

John Keats was the first poet I came across who made me want to write poetry in 1997 at the age of 27.
I don't think I would have got over my break down with learning from John Keats' work, he taught me so much about poetry.
I thought I was alone in the world, I never thought that Keats had been through the same as me.
I read one of his words but I came out with a thousand words, at least it felt like it.
Drinking heavy is not the answer, your problems are still there the next day.
At the time I was very young but not very strong.
I opened the poetry book of John Keats, it was as if he died for me after he had broken down relationships too.
Time is a good healer and writing poetry helps too.
Not that we except every person to be affected the same to heart ache and pain, it would be boring if we were all the same. 10.7.2009

GETTING OLDER.

Getting older is getting wiser.
We should be strong enough to cope with life's ups and downs.
We should cope different to what we did when we were young.
It's the states of our minds. 10.7.2009

LOOKS ARE NOT EVERYTHING.

Looks are not everything in a person.
We born to be what and who we are.
The way we think as human beings is the main thing.
We all cope with life in different ways but my way is poetry.
We all stuffer angry and depression in different ways, my way is finding it hard accept pain but poetry is my way of writing it down how I feel inside without breaking down . 10.7.2009


HAVING MEETINGS.

Most people say meetings are boring just like many say poetry is boring.
Nothing is boring if you don't make it boring.
You speak in meetings like poetry is writing words.
Poetry is a way of the poets writing what goes through the poet's mind.
This works or work the way in meetings, the chance people to say goes through their minds.
The idea of meetings is to try and make things better.
In my job it's about giving people with disabilities our rights. 10.7.2009


YOUR BACK IN TOWN.

Your back in town, that's alright as long as you look after your Mum more as she's not well.
I don't hate you but I don't love you anymore.
I don't I miss you, we had friendship in the end.
If I am honest I am scared that I may fall back in love with you but I don't want to.
You have dropped me down and picked me back up again so many times over the years.
Enough is enough, I can't take no more.
I don't know what I'd say to you now I have not seen you for over a mouth.
Who would have thought that we had spend so much time together in fact too much time together, that our love has just died apart.
I bet you never thought I would leave you like I did, did you?
I never thought I'd walk away from you but it's the best thing I ever done.
You just didn't know or understand how much I really loved you, even though I told you a thousand and one times.
Whether you know and understand now how strong I loved you, it's now far too late, I don't that way about you anymore.
It's only your own fault, you have believed and that I loved, I spend enough time with you for you to know how I felt about you.
I am not a bouncing ball you can throw around and pick up when you feel like it, I'm a human being just like all people.11.7.2009

LOVE AND PAIN.

The feeling of love is hard to control.
It's so hard to stop pain.
You can try to make things better but it doesn't always work.
Love brings you pain : pain brings happiness.
There must be a point when love runs out when you have suffered so much pain, then love very slowly turns to hate.
I think it's time for me to move on to love someone new but but pain needs to go altogether until I can love again. 11.7.2009

IT'S NO GOOD ME THINKING YOU ARE GOING TO CHANGE.

let's start again!
No more chances.
No more pain.
I won't let you hurt me again.
Let's change things this time!
No chance I have heard it all before, promises promises.
Let's put what went wrong right!
What am I talking about, I have tried so many times with you?
Let's stop hurting one another, we are like a pair of kids on the playground!
Why do we keep on hurting one another and going back to one another?
This has gone on for too many years now, this has got to stop!
I can't believe I fell for you again and again until I thought suddenly a change of thought, I don't love this man anymore. 11.7.2009

YOU USED TO BE MY MAN.

You used to be my man, you used to be the love of my life so I thought.
I don't think you thought I loved you as much.
If you have worked it out now, it's too late my love has run out for you now.
If only I worked out that you did not love me as much as I loved you, I wouldn't have wasted 15 yrs of my life on and off with you.
I know you told me you loved me but not as many times as I told you.
May be you didn't believe me but may be you didn't tell me the truth.
I must move on, you don't stop me from loving again but I will get to know a person first.
I need to get rid of this pain you have given me.
The worse thing was that you said in the end that you didn't know whether you loved me or not, that's why I had enough. 11.7.2009

MOST MEN.

Most men what is it about them?
They pretend to love you but they hurt you again and again.
They dirt on you, then they except you to love them again.
I can't promise myself I will never get hurt again,I have fallen for it a lot more than once again and again but at least it won't by the same man I have known for 15yrs.
I will have to tell myself no more pain off him.
If I hadn't of been a fool to be in love with you, then I would not have been hurt by you.
Once you feel love you can't live with or without it.
Sadly love and pain links together. 9.7.2009

VICTIM OF LOVE.

I have been a victim of love.
I have been a victim of men.
How many woman haven't been through the same as me, not very many?

Used
Abused,
you name it
I have been there.
Who has not been there?

Men have hard times with woman just like woman have hard times with men.
How much more can we go through?
I don't wish it on anyone, no one is the first or last person to go through it.
The nice part : love pain is horrible.
There again pain makes you become stronger.
We all want someone in our lives who wants and loves us for ourselves.
Nothing stops me from carrying on with life, I fall down and get back up again, I have done so many times before.
Nothing stops me from loving.
I am not the best of women but I am strong.
I do what I can to make the man I am with happy.
I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me but I just want to carry on loving. 11.7.2009


BE IN LOVE WITH POETRY.

Be in love with poetry, that's one love that doesn't run out.
Say what you want pen, paper, writing and words don't answer back at least not on the page, it's only your own words.
Let the readers think what they want but give them enjoyment in their reading too.
Your thoughts, feelings and fears only.
Drain any painful feelings out of yourself but also write about the good in life too.
Keep getting to know yourself by writing poetry.
Keep getting to know yourself before you get to know your readers.
Write your private thoughts down but don't have them published unless your readers enjoy your work.
Poetry keeps poets going strong through the good and bad of life.
Poet's ways of dealing with life is poetry. 12.7.2009

WRITER'S HANDWRITING.

Too much going on in one's mind to think about whether the writing is neat or not.
Now that I have written, I can see the state of my hand writing, I must type so that my readers can read it.
Can I read my own writing? Only sometimes but I know write as fast as my mind is thinking, then most of the time I get carried away.
What a state of my writing.
What a state of my mind.
Who wants to read my hand writing it's too messy?
Who wants to read my mind, there's too much rubbish inside?
I feel guilty about the things I write about but anger inside me comes out on paper not on people, only people who have hurt me.
Sorry to my readers whose read on paper, it's what's going on in my mind on to poetry
. 12.7.2009


GUILTY WRITER.

My mind thinks too fast for me to write or my mind is blank.
Love and pain the only things I write about, animals,home,family education, career, love and so the list goes on of the subjects that I write.
How many readers are interested in what I write?
Who knows! Sorry
Please let me know readers on your comments in an email, thank you.
You can write what you like, then I will reply back to you.
I am a dyslexic writer, words may have the right letters but not put in the right places.
My mind can work over time or not at all. 12.7.2009

SORRY I TOLD YOU I LOVE YOU.

Sorry I told you, I love you, am I going too fast?
How wrong was I to think you'd tell me that you love me?
How selfish was I to think of only my own feelings?
In future I will accept what you want despite of how you feel about me. 12.7.2009

LOVE HURTS.

you can't help who you fall in love with.
It's just accepting it if the person doesn't love you.
No matter what feelings of love is hard to control.
No matter how much pain is given, you don't give up until the feeling of love has gone.
Love is there as long as it wants to be. 12.7.2009

WHAT MAKES YOU THINK?

What makes you think I am free to love you?
What makes you think I still love you?
What makes you think that I can go through that pain again that I let you put me through time and time again but no more.
If I hadn't have walked out like I did, you would have still been walking over me.
I would be still sitting back waiting for you to love me again, I have been a fool long enough.
Now it's too late for you, it does not stop me loving again but I don't love you.
How much more pain do you think I can take? 12.7.2009

MOST POET'S LIVES.

Writing, drinking and smoking.
We love the stuff that's not good for us, as I sit with a bottle of Becks in the Moon Under Water in Wolverhampton.
Writing poetry whether we feel happy,laughing, angry, sad or mad.
( Why?)
Today I have been feeling down enough to write about what's going on in my head. 12.7.2009

IT TOOK YOU SO LONG.

What took you so long to to tell me that you love me when it's too late?
I don't think it has sank in that I have told you that I don't love you anymore.
For years I had always been there for you, in fact a lot of people had told me you weren't right for me but I was right for you, may be they were right in telling me that.
You may love me now but you will stop loving me, like you have a thousands times before, which means you have never loved me at all.
I have learned what you are like, when it comes to changing your mind about your feeling towards me, it was causing me pain and hurt.

Sorry, I can't go back to get myself hurt again, my trust is gone in you.
You should have known what you wanted in the first place.
If you love me why do you keep on finishing with me and going back to me, that's only pretending to love me when you don't.
I must have been blind to think that you loved me. 12.7.2010


IT WILL HIT YOU ONE DAY.

Why do you only seem to want me when you have been drinking?
When you are not drunk, you change your mind about the way you feel about me.
You change your mind as many times as you change your soaks.
Don't you understand that I am finding it hard to come to terms, i don't love you to built my hopes up , now I don't built hopes up with anyone:I never say never ever.
you have hurt me enough as it is, you shouldn't make it harder for me by you ringing me when your drunk.
It's no good saying you want me back when your drunk because you don't feel that way when your not drunk. 26th July 2009

STOP FIBBING TO YOURSELF AND ME!

I understand you like your drink, don't a lot of us.
Now you need to cut your drinking down as you have a lot to take on at home.
Too much drink makes you do and say the wrong things.
When you drink far too much, your not yourself, your not you your someone else.
You say you want me when your drunk but you don't.
The drink is doing the talking not you.
Yes, I know when it comes to the next day, you have thought about what you said sorry about last night, the next day you have a complete change of mind from the night before.
Just be careful other wises you could be disbelieved when you are telling the truth. 26th July 2009.

A DIFFERENT KIND OF COW.

There once was a cow that had a calf.
The calf went to have a drink off his Mother.
Suddenly the calf could not taste any milk as he blew a turn walking round the field.
" Mummy Mummy, I can't taste milk but I can taste and blew music."
" Why are you making such a loud nose, son?
" I am hungry so I better have a drink off another Calf's Mother."
" OK son, whys that?"
" You have a pair of bag pipes underneath you, I better ask the farmer to call the vet, this is not right for a cow."
" Don't bother son, I am alright, we are in Scotland, we are Scottish cows, moo moo (boo)."
Mrs Cow herself called vet on her mobile phone because she was worried her son wasn't getting any milk, she didn't think it was right him getting milk off another calf's Mother.
The tune was so loud, it was keeping the whole farm awake.
We Wish you a Merry Christmas was blowing out in the middle of July, Mother started to get even more worried about her son.
" Alright, I will come over to have a look at you Mrs Cow."
" No, Doctor Vet, please look at my son?"
" Your son is alright Mrs Cow, he just needs milk to grow that's all."
" Look at Mrs Cow, I have never seen anything like it's not good that you have a pair of bagpipes to feed the baby, you should have nipples, the baby needs to moo louder and grow some more."
" It's good him having not any milk though, Doctor Vet!"
" That's no problem, he'll have to have milk off another cow, that all Mrs cow."
" How long does he have to blow for?"
" As long as it takes for the bagpipes to turn back to nipples, which could take until next new year, Mr Cow."
" Oh goodness, it's only July now, it's ages yet."
" Well I only said roughly Mrs Cow, sorry it's not very often we come across this kind of thing, Mrs Cow."
Mrs Cow's bagpipes was even blowing, the bagpipe were blowing I wish you a Merry Christmas without her son blowing on them.
The tune even kept the whole Scottish farm awake all night long, which made Mrs Cow very guilty indeed.2009

KING OF POP, MICHEAL JACKSON.

It was a shock on Thursday 25th July 2009, when the world lost you Micheal.
I am so lucky to have been a born from the Jackson5.
Your first song with the Jackson5 was 'I WANT YOU BACK' it came two weeks before 7th October 1969, I was born 24th October 1969.
You kept your career going for 40yrs, which was as old as I am now.
The KING OF POP shines in the disco light.
I loved your music in the Jackson5 and your solo career.
Thank you very much for the music, Micheal. 12.8.2009


YOU WERE SO BRAVE.

You were so brave to walk and sing on the stage with what you had been through with you Father behind closed doors.
The world has heard about the hard times you have had over years, we are sorry we thought you were always happy because we always saw you smiling.
You told us to smile even when things are going wrong for us.
Thank Micheal for been so strong for us. 12.8.2009

FACE THE WORLD.

Face the world with a smile.
Hold back the tears and the pain.
Don't hide behind closed doors.
Show the world you can face them, don't be scared.
Thank you for those words, Micheal, we say good bye and rest in peace with love.
You don't need to worry anymore, your stress from the Media has now gone forever.
Thank Micheal for all the work you had done for us, you sang all the great songs our King of Pop.
Your music will live forever, we love you in rest and peace. 12.8.2009

Freedom.

We are human beings.
We are born to live then to die.
We live only one life so there for we should have chooses how we live our lives.
No one should hold our chooses against us.
We should be accepted in society whether we have disabilities or not. 12.8.2009


LIFE IS NOT THE SAME.

Life is not the same knowing you have gone Micheal.
Once I watched and listened to your music on YOU TUBE I can't get off the Internet.
Micheal the world is empty without you.
Let's hope heaven is in a better place for you, 'EARTH' was.
We miss Micheal with love. 12.8.2009

WE ARE ONLY THIS EARTH ONCE.

What are we doing here?
Why are we here?
Life is what we make it, when you have a choice to make it how you like.
A choice we like in life to make us happy.
There are times what has to be has to be, therefore there are times we don't have a choice, then life isn't what you make it when it's controlled by society.
If we can't make the choice on earth then we will have to make it if there's such a world as heaven.
In your memory, people know you as a person.
In your death, people need to remember the good in you. 12.8.2009


WE MISS YOU ALWAYS.

We all love you.
You must know we all love you.
That means millions of people including myself.
You have always been very special to your fans.
It's only when we don't hear you singing Freddie Mercury and Micheal Jackson that we remember you are both in heaven.
Now we have thought about about you two in heaven, it feels like a knife going us. 2009

PLEASE BE MY VALENTINE.

I like you a lot but I am not building my hopes that there will be a you and me.
I will never say never, I will just accept what is or isn't to be.
Only because I like you such a lot I don't except you to like me the same as I like you.
If you don't like me the same way as I like you, there's nothing I can do.
There's plenty more fish in sea for me you see. 9.12.2010

PANE TURNS INTO HAPPINESS ; HAPPINESS TURNS INTO PAIN.

Despite of the feeling as if the whole world is coming to pieces on us, I don't give up on us.
us.
May be we can't see one another as much as we would like to, the good thing is that it gives us time to sort our own lives out but I never stop thinking about you.
Having this space gives me time to get rid the pain I have still got before I met you.
I guess give you time to get rid of the pain others have you through too.
I am sorry if I have blew it between us.
I should of thought of your feelings too not just about mine.
The time we have without one another seems like a life time.
As every hour, minute, second, day, week and even feels like year going yet have only known you just over a year, my love just grows stronger and stronger for you.
Butterflies fly through my tummy like fishes swimming in the sea.
I can't handy eat and sleep without thinking about you non stop. 9.2.2010


SO NEAR YET SO FAR.

For me to be with you, there's no rush, what will be, will be.
Time never runs out of love from me to you.
I know you are not far away but our time together seems so far away.
Never the less our time apart doesn't change the way I feel about you.
I understand that your feelings count too, I can't except your feelings to match with mine because of the way I feel about you.
I will be honest, I am liking you more and more.
In fact I am missing you more and more.
The thing I don't want to do is to say and do anything to drive you away.
When I see you I want to show my feelings more but I respect your private reasons not to.
I don't want to spoil whatever we have got between us:I don't want to spoil a thing between us.
Respect you not disrespect you. 13.2.2010


I DON'T WANT TO SPOIL WHATEVER WE HAVE GOT BETWEEN US: I DON'T WANT TO SPOIL A THING BETWEEN US.

I know I have contacted you in the past, I am so sorry about that.
I am so sorry if I have contacted you at the wrong moment.
I must learn to control how to feelings about you but most of all I miss you more and more everyday in every way.
I keep looking at my mobile phone, telling myself no but I love to hear your voice.
I like you so much, I don't want to spoil a thing.
Even when I contact you on a rare time, I feel so guilty in case I am bothering you when I shouldn't be. 13.2.2010


VALENTINE'S DAY ISN'T THE ONLY DAY.

valentine's day isn't the only day I want to be with you.
Valentine's day isn't the only day I miss you.
Valentine's day isn't the only day I want to kiss you.
As much as what I have said are true thoughts going on inside my head, us having time apart is making me want you more, miss you more and look forward to seeing you more if or and whenever that time comes.
makes me want you more but these days I understand that that's not possible who knows what the future will brings?
I can wait as long as it takes unless you let me go, then I will move on. 13.2.2010

THINKING ABOUT YOU.

For me to you, time never seems to run out.
I will be honest, I liking you more and more I don't want to drive you away.
When I see you, I want to show my feelings more and more to you but I know that isn't possible with the hard private situations we are both going through.
I respect you not this respect you.
As time goes by my feelings get stronger and stronger for you. 13.2.2010


LOVE COMES TO THOSE WHO WAIT.

Love comes to those who wait.
Never look for love.
The hardest thing is not to think of love.
Until now I was never good at waiting for love, until friendship came along.
I have only started to more to life than just love.
At one time I excepted love all the time.13.2.2010

NEW START.

valentine's day last year, I wrote my last poem to make last lover hoping he'd love him for the lasted time, I gave on him his last chance to love me again.
He never loved me while he had the chance, his loss.
Now that I don't love him anymore he wants me again, to me it's far too late.
Sadly I wasn't strong enough to walk away from him, at the time I loved him.

Little did I know, I'd meet a very great friend in you.
With the very little time we have spend together, my love has grown even stronger for you.
Despite of hard situations going on around both of us, I never stop thinking about you.
Little did I know I would learn to stop feeling in love with him and falling for you. 13.2.2010

HARD SITUATIONS.

I'd rather be seeing you then going to down to see him, I don't enjoy been there.
Well I am going to see his Mum, her time could be up any time but sadly he lives there.
There could be anything going on but there's not, there's nothing going on between me and him, I don't want to be anywhere near him.
I want be with the person I like so much, which is you. 13.2.2010

FRIENDLY LOVE.

You are my angel.
You keep me up when I am going down.
You keep me flying when I am about to stop. 13.2.2010

LET'S START WHERE WE MEAN TO GO ON!

Being true to one another.
Give one another trust and freedom.
Be true friends from start to end.
Keep private information between both of us.
Helping one another out, loving one another and showing one another love to share. 13.2.2010

ONE DAY HE WILL BE OUT OF MY LIFE.

I want to leave him altogether, I don't want to see him ever again.
I hope one day, I will be pain free to love you.
He will live in love dream that will turn to a complete nightmare.
I will wake up in the morning, the past will seem like a very bad long nightmare of mine. 13.2.2010

IF ONLY.

If only I could show you more than just friendship.
If only I could be your Valentine on Valentine's day.
If only we knew whether the sun is going to shine on us both or not.
I will wait for you as long as it takes unless you tell me to stop waiting for you.
May be it's to be or not to be your Valentine. 13.2.2010

YOU KNOW I AM HERE FOR YOU, DON'T YOU?

You I am here for you, don't you?
You know I will always be here as long as you want me to be, I will just move on, if and when you don't want me in your life anymore.
We are very close friends, I hope we will love one another as friends until the end.
However short or long you want me I am here.
I hope we will be always be there for one another to care for one another to share.
Whenever you want me I will be there.
We are so near but time apart seems so far but never think that does us any harm. 14.2.2010

IT SEEMS LIKE A LIFE TIME.

Time seems like a life time without you.
There's so many things I don't have chance to say to you, there so many things unsaid between us but what is said is private between us.
It's just easy to write poetry when I have the time.
Love comes to those who wait.
I am here as long as you want me too and to. 14/2/2010

ON VALENTINE'S DAY MY LOVE IS GROWING STRONGER.

I can't start to tell you how much I like you.
My feelings are growing very quickly the more time I have apart from you but we still need to take things slowly.
My world would not be the same without you inside my mind.
If only I could tell you how I feel about you without thinking I would drive you away from me. 14.2.2010

NO RUSH.

There's no rush, I am here as long as you want me too and to.
As long you want me, there's no one else for me.
The more I don't see you, the more I am thinking about you as my feelings get stronger towards you.
I am becoming more braver than I ever used to be with anyone.
Missing you is painful but having you on my mind is giving me happiness too.14.2.2010

SOMEONE SPECIAL.

Not everyone can see the one they really like on Valentine's day.
Some things are better off not said, we all have some private thoughts.
There comes a time in most people's lives that we are happy to have a someone special in our minds as well as our lives.
Friendship is a better way for us to get to know one another.
It doesn't mean it is or isn't to be.
Special someone special thoughts. 14.2.2010

FRIENDSHIP.

Friendships doesn't just have to mean friendships.
Love doesn't have to mean just relationships.
There can be friendship in love as well as relationships.
You learn that there's more to life than just love. 14/2/2010

LOVE POETRY.

I love poetry because it's a great way of saying how you feel about life.
Love poetry keeps me going with and without you.
Love poetry stop me bothering you on the phone as well as saying how I feel about you.
Love poetry me from driving you away.
My work helps in the same way too.
Love poetry makes me a stronger person for longer.
Love poetry helps me clear whatever is going through my mind.
Poetry doesn't just help me with love but other things too.
I am not just a love poet, I am a poet of all subjects. 14.2.2010

I KNOW YOU SPEAK TO ME WHEN YOU CAN.

I have a very good friend in you, I hope you have a very good friend in me too.
I respect you for being a private person, I will never this respect you.
I never want to end the night when I am with you.
Time seems like forever without you but I look forward to seeing you again however long it takes.
Never the less I think about you all the time, I will never give up on you unless you give up on me, no matter how often I see you. 14.2.2010

THINKING ABOUT YOU ON VALENTINE'S DAY.

Knowing that I can't see you on Valentine's day of all days makes me sad but I
am not mad with you.
Days, hours, weeks, minutes and even years are painful enough.
Happiness is knowing that I am thinking about you and hoping you are thinking about me too.
Never the less I am missing you. 14.2.2010

I THOUGHT I KNEW WHAT LOVE WAS.

I thought I knew what love was before I met you but I don't think I did.
I think I thought I knew it all.
I have never had to cope with missing anyone like I am missing you.
I don't think I had found myself feeling love for anyone like I am feeling love for you.
Never the less I can cope.
My feelings are far too strong to give up on you. 14.2.2010

PRIVATE WORLD.

A private world is a special world with private and special thoughts.
We have a very special friendship.
It's very hard to know what the future will bring for both of us.
Let's not hope for a joy of spring : let's not hope for really bad things.
Let's shut the black past away, we have both had a long nightmares.
Let's get rid of the bad people out of our heads and keep the good people in our heads! 14.2.2010
Mencap support loads of Self - Advocacy groups across the Uk. Our group OUR SHOUT and many other groups saw A Self - Advocacy called 'CHANGING OUR LIVES' this Wednesday just gone. The great thing about getting together with other Self - Advocacy groups is that we can share ideas and learn off one another.

'CHANGING OUR LIVES' came to tell us about their People's Parliament where they come from in Sandwell. I found it hard to believe myself until 'CHANGING OUR LIVES' showed us the DVD of them working in their parliament. The idea of having a Parliament is so people with Learning Disabilities can take more control over our lives. For eg; having control on what the money is spend on. We have come up with ideas that we could be Learning Disability MPs.

THE TRAINING WE WILL HAVE TO HAVE. Most of the training we have already got. We will need to go on a Leadership course, we will need to learn about the history of learning disability, we will need to learn about the history of Self - Advocacy and what Parliament is about.

We will encourage people with disabilities in our areas to be able to speak for themselves. We will go out there to talk to people with disabilities to find out what they want in their live. We will not just talk about what is going to happen, it won't come down to our say so but we will still find out how many their thoughts will match with our thoughts. When it comes to a lot of things that a lot of people with disabilities would like to change that it would be taken to the main MPs of the area, then to Houses Of Parliament in London.'CHANGING OUR LIVES' is making 'OUR SHOUT' thinking about us doing the same for Wolverhampton. May this could happen to a lot of places in the future. Let's not build our hopes up but never say never.

We will train and educate people without disabilities to speak and write in easy words instead of jargon.

Being Learning Disability MPs will be the next step the ladder from from been Self - Advocacy
workers.

We need to have 15 Learning Disability Mps with different disabilities so they can understand 15 different disabilities, this includes Mental Health problems too. We will just keep the numbers small for the time being.

Wednesday 27 January 2010

Up to date Family History

FOOD AND MEN.
I love a spicy curry and a pint of beer as much as I love my men but curry, beer and men don't seem to love me.
More often than not love turns into hate when curry and beer make me go to the toilet every five minutes.
Men can either give me butterflies in in my stomach or they can turn my stomach over with stress.
Love and hate is a hard habit to break.
You can live with the love but you can't live with the hate.
In my experience love does not come without the hate but that's the same for everyone. November 2009


 My great Grandparents.



FAMILY HISTORY.

My great Grandmother Lizzy was a Mother of eight during world war 2, 1939 to 1945. Her and her family lived on the streets of Wolverhampton. She was a tall and slim lady with short blond hair Her husband Tom was a very thin man who worked very long hours. Liz worked long hours on week days as her oldest girl Letty took care of her seven children.

It was a very dark cold foggy winter's Saturday morning when when Liz carried the dust bins to the bin men one by one as the bin were rushing her.Liz walked around with a smile on her face despite the fact that times were hard and money was tight. The family never knew any different, they thought little money and little food.

The family lived in back to back home with not very tight closed windows, drafts blew cold inside the house there was no heating but old gas fires.

My great Gran parents were only around about 4 and a half years of my life, very little I remember other than walking around their back garden in the early 70s. My Grandmother Letty told me my great Grandparents were very fond of me. My great Granddad Tom had his own patch of soil to do what he wanted, which was mainly his patch to grow his veg. I was always wondering around play in Granddad's patch of soil treating it like a sand pit without shoes and socks on.Granddad would pick and tell me very nicely not to play there as I cried my eyes out. The one day I took the tops off the flowers he grew as I had a sting my foot by bee. It turned out to be that Granddad was more worried about the sing in foot by the bee than he was about his flowers. Saturday 20th March 2010.


 Me as a small child with my doll and push chair.




WE HAVE STILL BEEN WORKING ON FAMILY HISTORY.

we were asked to bring in family pictures and write a bit about family memories. I emailed Simon two pictures one of my great Grandparents and the other of me outside the family caravan in Wales. Either before or after I started school in 1974 or 1975, my great Grandmother just died so we all had a family holiday. On the day we were traveling over there from Wolverhampton I was either covered in Chicken poxes, Measles or whatever. My Uncle David only drove as far as the Victoria hotel, I said

" Are we nearly there?"
" Are we nearly there?"

The year I was born in 1969, my Grandparents Letty Kendrick and Ramsey Gorman divorced but they married in 1949. My Grandparents met at the old Queen Dance Hall in Wolverhampton in 1947, when my Nan was only sixteen years old. At the time my Nan found my Granddad tall dark, handsome, strong and he had just come back from India. In the end my Nan found out that my Granddad was not as nice as he looked, they had twenty years of marriage.

My Granddad's Mother was Welsh and his Father was Irish. My Nan never got on with her Mother in law but she did her Father in law. Nan always told me that my great Granny Gorman was a dirty old woman. She never kept the house clean and she always bet on the horses but I can't remember if she told me if she loved a drink or not.It makes you wonder how did great Granddad George Gorman put with her? That explains a lot when it came to the unhappiness my Grandmother found herself suffering.

My Grandfather spend the wages after work, as the Irish would say he drank the money. My Mother remembered my Nan sending her to the pub to ask Granddad for house keeping money, he lost the lot on horses and spend the lot on beer. My Nan ended up wasting loads of food because my Granddad never came home when he promised to but when he did come home, talking was with his fist through the drink. It destroyed my Nan so much she divorced him after twenty years, she couldn't take anymore. Nan told me, my great Grandparents used to say to her.

" You should have had a divorced a lot sooner than you did Letty."

Two years 1950 before my Mother was born, my Nan had a son she called him Tony. He never lived to have his own children or to see his little sisters, nieces and nephews. My Nan always remembered feeling bad about poking him by mistake with his nappy pin. She found him choking on him choking with German measles in his throat as he had a fit. Cot death were very common all those years ago but very hard to treat. Tony died week before, after on his 1st birthday about the 9th May. When my Nan died in 2007, our family throw her ashes over Tony, that's was her wish and that's what she got.

SESSION 3 took were writing our Family History stories.

ON SATURDAY 15TH MAY 2010, we have started off writing our own stories from ideas from post cards.

Back in history the creative side of people with disabilities wasn't showed or believed. To a point society is looking at our problems rather than supporting us to get through. Our strong points isn't still looked at enough. ( LOOK AT THE ABILITIES NOT THE DISABILITIES.)

Vincent Van Gogh had Mental Health problems but he was a great painter, mainly with his sunflowers. His painting career lasted ten yrs. In that time he produced 1100 drawings and sold 53.9 million. He still wasn't known or believed for his work in his life time. He was born in Holland but spend a lot of his life in Holland. He stuffer ed from very bad depression, shot himself in the chest, cut off his ear and died at the age of 37.

Work done on Saturday 19th June 2010

Dear Sharon

I have set up in an old hut in the middle of nowhere. This story is very unknown.
There's a pile of stuff on an oak wood table, with a head of a skull.
There are a lot of unknown answers to a lot of unknown questions.

I have a pile of my poems on my wooden oak deck.

I think there has been a murder, whoever has died was a very clever person or pretended to be. Reason why there's a skull on the desk, which has nothing to do with me. I think it's a she she's talking to me. She's told me that someone has chopped her head. She's a famous film star. Marilyn Moeroe. I must get onto the police. There are so many unanswered questions about her death I'm so unsure about.

The way I am not feeling myself at the moment. I am fed and stressed with people looking at what I am bad at rather than what I am good at. People think I copy people's poems, when I don't. I hate been disbelieved, this is driving me to my grave.
Jack never enough ripped my poems up, while he told me I coped people's poems. I told him I couldn't take anymore. I'm putting my poems in a book in hopes of getting them published.

Poetry seems to keep me alive to let the anger out I have had all my life. How I am suppose to feel good about myself if people don't think good of me?

Jack picks on me because of my messy hand writing. I told him that this is because I write fast, I'm clearing my mind. Jack didn't see like I did.

This is making me ill, Sharon I don't think I will be living much longer.

Here's a book of hand written poems. It doesn't sound as if this person wasn't`
happy whoever they were. For all I know these poems could have been copied off another poet. I don't know whether to believe or not. Did these poems come out this person's head? Who knows! No name and no title. I am going to search the libraries to find out if anyone else has done this work. This sounds too good to be true.

Is my name Mic or am I just saying that? I know I am ill and I have always been. Poetry seems hard for a person with such problems to write but it's the way I can get my anger out without people answering me back. I mustn't kid myself. How do I know whether anything is possible or not? I also told Jack if he does believe that my work aren't copy to search in the libraries to see if anyonelses' work is the same as mine. i said Jack.

" I bet you find nothing."

Marlyn sang but she never played music. There is a violin in this hut, Sharon. How do we find out the unknown? I was told she took an over dose but she could have had her head chopped off as well.

What a scary skull, I think someone has chopped off his or her head. May be Marilyn was misunderstood and disbelieved after all for everything they said and did.

Love From
Mic
x

UNKNOWN POEM AND TITLE.

Tell me I am lieing about what's on my mind. My work is my own. It isn't copy of other people's work.
How do you know what's known and unknown?
I have stuff that I have written for yrs not published but sitting at home.
The place is a mess.
There are too many unknown answers to unknown questions.
Now you are trying to tell me I am someone I am not. It's not true I am me.
My poems are written by my mind and hand.
I am not clever ; I am not thick.
I am not happy that you make me feel like the odd one out.
I am so fed up of been disbelieved for what I do, the least you can do is support me to have my work known.
What's the point of having a title and what's the point of saying my name.
Is my name Mic or am I just saying that?
Search the libraries to see if another person's work is the same as mine.
I mustn't put myself down.
I must believe anything is possible.
My home is full of poetry: my home is full of my mind.
I am not trying to be the person I am not.
How do I get disbelieved?
Just because I am a slow learner and have a long term illness.
Find me out when I die but I won't end my life just because the world disbelieves me.
No matter how hard live gets, I am not going anywhere until I am taken away.
You won't get to me.
Misunderstand and disbelieve me as much as you like, I know I have no shame, I am just clearing my mind. 15th May 2010 to 19th June 2010

THE INTERVIEW.

Mic " I want to be famous, how do I go about it, Marilyn?"

Marilyn " What do you want to do?"

Mic " I want to be a writer, I love poetry."

Marilyn " Do you have an office?"

MIC " Yes an office in a hut in the middle of nowhere."

Marilyn " Have you wrote an poetry?"

Mic " Loads since I have been a boy that haven't got published."

Mic " Your a film star, Marlyn, what's this pin up about?"

Marilyn " It's about this Murder movie I'm in called ' WHO IS THE WOMAN?'

Marilyn " May be you can write a film for me in the future."

Mic " May be I can."

Marilyn " I am playing my character now but just myself as the talking skull, talking to you Mic right now."

I knew Marilyn was the skull but I didn't know she was playing her character while I was interviewing. I jumped with a screamed, it scared me to death. 19th June 2010

Tuesday 26 January 2010

Jobs to work on in 2010.

Changes need to be made and things need to get better.

In the 2009, funding started to cut back. Most Learning Disability serves are closed, closing or changes are made, for eg people with Learning Disabilities have to pay or pay out more for our services. Not enough people with Learning Disabilities are working but the people who are, are still earning very low pay to be able to have enough money to pay for the services. The government and council funding is spent on the wrong things for eg; The City of Wolverhampton have spent a lot of money on a water fountain. ( Where is our changing places toilets?)(Where the important things in life?) (Where are the things that are needed to the needs of people with Learning Disabilities?)


When it comes to Health, we disagree with Learning Disability Coalition when they sent me an email saying that people with Learning Disabilities are living longer. From my own experiences of having a Learning Disability myself going to see my Gp, I believe that the Mencap report is right in saying that 75% of gps in the Uk are not trained to treat people with Learning Disabilities. We need to be doing research to find out how many people with Learning Disabilities are not happy with their Health services. This is something we could do for Mencap's Learning Disability week, which is about Health.People with Learning Disabilities our selves need to train and educate the Health services to the understanding of the world of Learning Disability.

Saturday 2 January 2010

Learning about Learning Disability guide.

Give people with disabilities their own amount of time they need to do and say things Treat people with learning disabilities like human beings.Support the choices of people with Learning Disabilities with they want and need to do.
Make information easy to read and understand. ( Have a look at Accessible information on the Internet.

Give people with disabilities their rights with the right support. For eg; Parents, actors, scientists,singers, writers, politicians, artist or and etc.If you look on the Internet there are famous people who have disabilities.For eg; Chris Bu re, Michelangelo, Fran kin D Roosevelt, Harriet Tubman, Marlee Martin, Cassy Martin and many more The way most people use words for people with disabilities can be hard for people with disabilities to read and understand so please have a look at the Internet or use other researches on how to make information easy to read and understand. For eg; Accessible information.

People with learning disabilities get mistaken and misunderstood for been bad, sad and stupid. These words can be hurtful towards people with disabilities.

All it is that people with disabilities can find it hard to explain things and do things. There should be easy aids to help us do things and information should be put in more an easy to understand.

The words people with learning disabilities don't like, for eg retard or retarded, deaf and dumb, cripple, special person and handicap Words to use disability, disabled, slower learners, hard to hear and hard to speak. The words we like explain our disabilities in truth.For eg; Disabilities/ ab led bodied are slow learners because we learn slowly, disabled people who are in wheel chairs, People who can't hear don't find it easy to hear.



MENCAP REPORT.

MORE ABOUT PEOPLE WITH LEARNING DISABILITIES.

Mencap is very worried that society is not treating people with Learning Disabilities same as other people. We agree that all people with Learning Disabilities support in different way but with the right support given there should be a balance bet ween getting the support they need and doing things for themselves through their own choice.

Mencap are here to battle with the government to help people with Learning disabilities, families and carers.


Less then 1 in 5 people with a Learning Disability get help to find work and go to works The people with a Learning Disability who do work only work part time. A lot of people with a Learning Disability are still not earning wages like other people, they are still on benefit money.

EDUCATION AND TRAINING. Just 1 in 3 of us with disabilities take part in some form of education and training.

Only 1 in 3 people with Learning Disabilities have education and training.
CHILDREN WITH LEARNING DISABILITIES.

Children still get left out of society. 8 out of 10 children with Learning Disabilities are bullied through lack of communication and people misunderstanding learning Disabilities living equal lives to other people.

About half of a 3rd of people with Learning Disabilities still live with their families. There is still very little help for people with Learning Disabilities do things for themselves meaning there is a limit of what a lot of these people can do without help.

People with Learning Disabilities still have very little say, choice and control to say and do what they want and when they want. Please google in the search engine of the Internet ( PCP PERSON CENTRE PLANNING).

58.000 people with Learning Disabilities have help from Day services, many get more help than they should get, they for they should be given the chance have support to have some kind of work by their own choice.

Many people with Learning Disabilities are not getting the support they need one way or the other.

29.000 adults with a Learning Disability have families who are 70 or over so they can't do their caring role as much or anymore. There seems to be a lack of help for housing, mainly with councils cutting back in today's credit crunch doesn't make life any easier.

7 out of 10 families are caring for people with Profound and Multiple disabilities, they have reached breaking point because of the lack of Short Break services.

58,000 of people with disabilities are supported by Day care services.

people with a Learning Disability are 58 times likely to die at under the age of 50 than other people, due to our Disability and Health.

People with Learning Disabilities all ages should get Health checks twice a year.

75% of GPs are still not trained or and educated to treat people with Learning Disabilities.

A lot of people with Learning Disabilities do not go to their GPs because they don't feel understood,cared for, welcomed and even helped.

WHAT IS A LEARNING DISABILITY?

A learning disability is caused by the way the brain develops.

There are all kinds of disabilities that can happen before a baby is born, during in birth, even through serious illnesses during children or any time of people's lives. A learning disability is something that can last for life and can bring big affects on people's lives.

A learning disability isn't dyslexia or a Mental illness but some disabilities can link on to Mental Health problems and dyslexia.

People with disabilities can find it hard to learn quickly, understand and communicate. People with Profound and Multiple disabilities (PMLD) need full time help to be able to cope with their lives. For eg; eating, drinking, washing, dressing and toileting.

There are 1.5 million people with learning disabilities in the UK. Like all people, we are human beings. We want and need different things in life so not all of us need the same levels of help.

CAUSES

BEFORE BIRTH. Things can happen to the central nervous system (the brain and spinal cord
that can cause a learning disability. A child can be born with a learning disability if the Mother has an accident at birth, illness while she's pregnant or an unborn baby develops certain genes. Genes are chemicals in our bodies that contain information about us - like how we look.

A person can be born with a learning disability if he or she does not get enough oxygen during childhood or is born too early. This is what happened to me.

A child can be born with a learning disability if certain Genes are passed on by a parent. This is called inherited learning disability. The two most common inherited disabilities are Fragile X syndrome and Down's syndrome. People who have either conditions are likely to have learning disabilities too.

Fragile x Syndrome is the most common cause of inherited learning disability but not all people with Fragile X syndrome have a learning disability.

Down's syndrome is a genetic condition caused by an extra chromosome in a person's cell - all living things are made up of cells.' Chromosome are parts of the cells. All people who have Down's syndrome have some kind of learning disability.


ASSOCIATED CONDITIONS.

People with a learning disability may have other physical and emotional conditions associated with learning disability.

You must remember that none of these conditions are caused by a person's up bringing or social circumstances. The conditions what people have aren't their fault. If the conditions are know early enough then it should be possible to give the right support.

CEREBRAL PALSY.

Cerebral Palsy is not a learning disability but many people with Cerebral Palsy have a learning disability. It is not a disease or an illness but a physical condition affected by the movement of and control of the person's body. It's caused by the part of the brain that hasn't developed properly before birth or during childhood. There are several different kinds of Cerebral Palsy, depending on which part of the brain is damaged. Some people are severely affected, while others it's barely noticeable.

EPILEPSY.

Epilepsy is one of the most common conditions affecting the brain. I's not a learning disability but 30% of people including myself have epilepsy linked to our learning disabilities. People with epilepsy have seizures when the brain works becomes disrupted. Most seizures are sudden and short lived, lasts a matter of seconds or minutes, and aren't dangerous to the person who is having them.

AUTISM AND ASPIRES SYNDROME.

People with Autism and Aspires syndrome see the world as a chaotic place with no clear boundaries, order or meaning that can cause communication and emotion problems. The National Autistic society said that Autistic Spectrum touches the lives of some 500,000 families in the UK. The word 'spectrum' is used because the characteristics of the condition vary from one person to another.

Autism is a lifelong disability that affects the way the person communicates and relates to people and the world around them. Although Autism isn't a learning disability but people with Autism have learning disabilities. (Confused?) It's a condition that can be linked to learning disabilities the same as Cerebral Palsy and Epilepsy.

While it's not possible to tell from the way someone looks if they have Autism. People with Autism have difficulty with:

Forming relationships and making friends.

communicating and understanding other people trying to communicate with them.

Using their imagination.

Never expect more than one person to find the same things hard in life, it can all vary. Just except what you see and learn from these people.

As a learning disability, people can be mild, moderate or severe Autism. My Autism is mild. The support we need is very little but with the right support, we can live fairly independent lives. Specialist support is the right support. However,with the right sort of support all people with Autism can, and do, learn and develop.



ASPIRES SYNDROME.

Aspires syndrome is a form of Autism, which causes communication and Emotional problems. Because people with Aspires syndrome can find it hard to tell how other people are by looking at expression on their faces or listening to their tone of voice, this why we find mixing with people hard. Saying that most of the time we are unaware of the surroundings around us. If we have been unaware then suddenly become aware, it can be a bad feeling if we have missed out on things or if we have hurt people's feelings. This is when we anger with ourselves and guilty about what we may have done without knowing it.

While there are similarities with Autism, people with Aspires syndrome have fewer problems with speaking they are less of a learning disability. Quite often we are of average, or above average, intelligence. To try and make the world less confusing, people with Aspire syndrome find everyday regular route comforting and may get upset if it's changed.