Sara Revealed: March 2013

CHAPTER ONE, Introducing myself and career.

About me and my work.

I am Sara Jane Gorman. I was born at the Beeches Nursing home on the Tettenhall road, Friday 24^th October 1969. I was born with Mild brain damage at the birth lack of oxygen to the left hand side of my brain. It caused me to have mild learning disabilities; mild Autism, Dyspraxia, Dyslexia and Epilepsy.

I used to be an Group Advocacy worker for Our Shout supported by Royal Wolverhampton Mencap, LD Awareness trainer, LD Service User and LD MP. In 2010 I became a Group Support.

I was Self – Employed for a very short time, I had a very small business called Access All Areas Now! I shared with someone else with learning disabilities. We were supported by Mencap and Employment Pathways. We were Learning Disability Awareness trainers. In the end we had very little time, work and services had very little money to support us. For the last four years I have been a Self - Advocacy worker for Our Shout supported by Royal Wolverhampton Mencap, LD Awareness trainer, LD Service User and LD MP. In 2010 I became a Group Support.

I am now a Learning Disability Advocacy worker for 1 Vocie Wolverhampton. I used to be an Advocacy worker and Learning Disabilty awareness trainer for a Self Advocacy group called Our Shout supported by Mencap. No I also used to be a volunteer trainee Employment Co - orator for Royal Wolverhampton Mencap. I have been given training to the Health students at the University of Wolverhampton, School of Nursing and The Health Care Professions at New Cross hospital Wolverhampton.

I have written this website in hopes of writing book in the field of learning disability and mental health to help professions understand people with these problems . This website is about my ' Life Story' but also to train the government, professions and society about Learning Disability and Autism from the barriers I have had to face with disabilities and health problems just the same and not much different to most other people.

I have been writing short stories and my life story since I was 23, I’m now nearly 44.

In 1993, I was stopping at my Grandmother’s house; I was very bored because I was recovering from Cancer of the throat. All of a sudden I watched the ten o; clock news with Travel McDonald telling the world that Britain’s care homes were closing down, it up set me very much.

For some silly reason I was messing around with pen and paper. For some strange reason I started think about the writer Charles Dickens and the work he did orphans in the 1800s.

This inspired me even though I didn't read any of Dickens’ work to write about people and animals worse off than myself. Raise half the money I earn to these charities. I have had a poem published in each of 11 books. I have had very little support getting my work published due to my disabilities. I have been on a fare few Creative writing courses over the years. In 2009, I went on a Script and Screen course to try to better my writing then I helped out on a project at Penn Hall Special School helping the children to create their own Superheroes. I have also had little report printed in newsletters.

I have found that employers don’t understand learning disability and Mental Health problems. If only they could let us do our job to train them to understand us. Learning Disability Awareness training is what they need, like or not we are the experts and we are the ones to do the job. Sadly not everyone takes notice of the Disability Discrimation Act. Most employers and the government make mistakes discrimateing people with LD and Mental problems. The government spends the money on the wrong things. The rich are getting richer and the poor are getting. The government just bores me but I need to fight my rights for learning disability. I am an LD MP if life is hard please contact me on sarajgorman@gmail.com you are welcome if you are a person with LD, family member carer, friend, lover or etc.

Not all people are good with computers but most people LD and Mental problems are.

Not all of us can work to an employer speed but just need the right support to do the jobs quick and right.

We are seen as Health and Safety hazards to society full stop but with the right support we can be supported to be kept safe and healthily. With the right we can be supported to learn Health and Safety.

I am hoping what is written on this website will be put in a book.

Like all disabilities Autism affects people’s lives different ways. For example there are different kinds of Autism like there are different kinds of disabilities. Two with the same disabilities may cope different. Two people the same Autism may cope different. Except the unexpected.

This book isn’t only written for people with Autism but for people with all disabilities and health problems. This book isn’t just about me as a person with Autism and other like but me as writer. The purpose of this book is to help people with LD and other people understand one another. This book is written for people with disabilities, health problems, carers, families, doctors, teachers, lawyers and etc. It isn’t just about education LD awareness it’s about understanding one another as human beings. I will work my hardest to interest my readers.

If you are working in the field of learning disability and even mental health you will need to learn about Accessible Information. For example; brail and sign language. A lot people with LD and health problems find information in speaking and writing very hard to understand. Too much jargon is very hard for us to cope.

This website is also linked onto my life story, my family history, which is about me and my disabilities. I started writing my life story 18 years ago. If this gets published I find hard to believe it will in my life time if it does. This will be my first book. I will write about the past, present and what I’d like to see in the future of learning disability. As a Self – Advocacy worker and writer I hope this book will help with LD and Mental Health problems to speak up for ourselves and others like us more.

I hope people will learn about the problems people with LD and health has to face in everyday lives and when people need support and when we don’t. People need to balance between support and independences. Some things in life people with LD can access other things we can’t. Society tells us that there’s a limit of what we can do. For example; college, work, friends, lovers and many that other people need less or no support with. There are 1.5 million people with a learning disability in the UK. Like all of us, they are individuals who want different things in life and need different levels of support.

I will also tell you some history of learning disability. Back in history people who took a long time to learn and do things would be left out.

This book is not just about me, it is also like me and worse off than me.

It's not as if other

Autism makes people appear to be selfish, which is not the case. people do not matter to me because they do.

Autism is an unawareness of the big wide world.

This book is written for people with learning disabilities and people who know us, people who want to get to know about us, learn about and from us, train us, teach us, work with us and help

. Hydrocephalus is high presage sager to the brain because of the fluid not being drained cerebral Palsy happens during pregnancy. It's a Mental and Physical disability affecting the body and mind. The brain controls the movement of the body in early stages of growth. Almost like one form of Autism that links with Dyspraxia as a hidden Physical disability. With Cerebral Palsy the damage can happen during birth even though the disabilities that happen before birth or any other brain injuries at a very early age. (Such as a lack of oxygen to the brain or if a child has been shaken. Children face these difficulties, posture (ability to put the body in a chosen position and keep it there.) ay.

Peoples' minds won't stop thinking about things, most people think for a long time or forever . For example; things from relationship and marriage break ups to death having to pay bills is even more for what they ch range. Mencap say People with learning disabilities 58 times likely to die before the age 50 but that's not in the case in everybody. Like I said Stress is a killer for all people but if you have learning disabilities or and health problems on it's own it's double the pressager.

According to Mencap there are 1 - 5 people with learning disabilities in the UK. Learning disabilities either start before, during or after birth depending what the disabilities are.

Disabilities and health problems can be either Injuries, long, short term illness and etc. Peoples' lives can be affected in different ways.

How these health conditions can affect people and their lives.

Learning disabilities are caused by the way the brain or and body develops.

Disabilities and health problems affect the brain, the body or both.

The level of support people needs depends on the needs of the people themselves.

Many people don't understand learning disability and mental health.

Learning disabilities are conditions that affect everyday lives in peoples' bodies or and mind. Mental disabilities are to do with the mind and Physical disabilities there are all different kinds of disabilities. Muscular Dystrophies are when a person's body weaken gradually in a limit of time. It seems to be more common in male than female.

Spinal Bifida can happen during pregnancy when the spinal cord (nerves run down the spine.) This can affect peoples' balance, movement, and bowel and bladder control. It's a bone and joint deformities what affect peoples' movements

People can have these conditions whether they have disabilities or not. Health problems can link to disabilities or be without disabilities.
Anxiety and depression is bad for enough anyone.
New things which is change whether it's good or bad can make people nervous. When some people get nervous they can have Panic attacks but Panic attacks can be brought by other things like for example; stress other reasons or no reason at all like depression.
Change can be a big thing for of people whether they are nervous about something or someone.

People with profound disabilities need a lot of help with their daily lives. They find it hard to communicate.

People with Severe disabilities need help with daily lives. Some people may have physical disabilities and find it hard to communicate.

People with Moderate disabilities mostly need a small amount of help. They mostly need help in social and emotional issues.

Causes of Learning Disability and Mental Health.

The causes of learning disability and mental health can happen before, during and after a child is both.
Things can happen to the Central system.

Th e brain and Spinal cord.

Learning disabilities are caused by the way the brain develops.

People with Mild learning disabilities need a small amount or no help.

Gene is chemicals in the bodies that contain information about us like we look.
Many say that not all disabilities and health problems run in the family.
A child can be born lack of oxygen during birth or too early.
Learning disabilities and mental affects the body and mind.
People with Mild learning disabilities need a small amount or no help.
People with disabilities and and health problems find it hard to be believed and understood.

We would like to help you to understand learning disabilities and mental health.

Here are some forms of learning disability.

People with profound disabilities need help with their everyday lives.

They also find it hard to communicate.

Mostly people who have profound and severe disabilities need full time care.

People with Moderate disabilities may need very small amount of social and emotional support.

People with disabilities and health problems are good and not good at things just like you.

People with mild disability need very little or no support.

Some people with mild and moderate disabilities may need support in getting a job.

We are seen for the things we can't do rather than what we can do.

We can't work and think as fast as you.

Society often sees us with disabilities and health problems as a health and safety hazard, these needs should be supported whatever we do.

Even though our minds are slow we are always thinking.

Not all our thoughts and feelings about life are known to you.

The meaning of learning disability is.

Everyone forgets but that depends how often we forget and what we forget.

The cause of forgetting doesn't mean you have disabilities and health problems but disabilities and health problems do affect minds.

There can be a big difference between forgetting information or forgetting something important at home.

We may not be good at maths or spelling but we could be good or bad at both.

Like you we have good and bad days.

Like you we are all different people.

We all have different disabilities and health problems.

Don't expect people with the same disabilities and health problems to find the same things easy and hard.

Meaning of the word learning disability.

Learning disabilities can be very limit skills to what people can do. Learning disabilities can affect different lives in different ways. Different people have different disabilities and different skills to live our lives.

Learning disability can affect peoples' everyday lives. Memory, understanding, reading, writing, education, work, home, friendships, relationships and etc.
Disabilities can be caused before, during or after birth.

Learning disability can vary from person to person.

Some people learn very well in school but others don't, I didn't.
The teaches used to shout at me to tell me to wake up.
I was always lacking
in my school work.
I was very hard for them to teach.
When I left school I worked very hard in college to pass exams which I didn't do school.
Information wasn't accessible in those days.
It's better than it was but we still have a long way to go.

If you spend a lot of time with us you will learn that we need more help than you thought. Yet we don't have difficulties in languages.

There are lot of people with disabilities and health problems who are talented.

People with disabilities and health problems are intelligent but not in the eyes of society because we are intelligent in different ways than what they are.

This is why society misunderstands us.

Often without thinking, we can express what we can't express to society in poems, painting, drawings and or in other creative ways.

Chapter two All about Autism.

Not a lot of people understand disabilities that are hidden because the disabilities aren’t seen. It‘s unknown whether I have Autism or not because It was unknown. As the years went by my family had seen films and may read books on Autism. What they have learned is about who have faced the same problems as me. Being diagnosed was unknown 40 odd years ago. If by any chance I have Autism, there must some hidden form of Autism because my disabilities are hidden. I think the mild form if there is one is Asperser Syndrome. I could be Asperser.

Ays get the right help with work, benefits, home and act.

It’s the same as (ADHD) (Attention Deficit disorder) which can causes behaviour problems the person doesn’t feel equal to other people not having same rights yet they are happy with the right support. When they feel angry it can be very upsetting for others around them. Some people all these disabilities or you could get many different people facing just one of those problems each.

Language problems are milder in people with Asperser; it’s the same with hand and co –nation abilities, interaction, imagination and communication. People with Autism Spectrum may find to understand gestures and facial expressions hard. Both forms of Autism can misunderstand jokes; they may get words like me and you mixed up, repeat what people say or what they have said, flap their hands, twirling toes, only have interest one topic, having their route but they may get very upset by changes. Don’t be confused because this can vary from person to person it’s not the same for everyone. For example; these disabilities can linked with other disabilities or they can just

Example; these disabilities can either be linked or disability on its own.

It’s possible that I may have had ADHD as a child due to the tablets I was taking was far too strong for me. I was hyperactive

At night and I couldn’t pay attention to the world around as a child.

Since I have been off these tablets I have calmed down a lot but I do suffer from anxiety at times. I will say more about this subject later on in this book.

For example; I guess if I do have Autism that I have Asperser because my problems are very mild. Some people have more than one disability like myself for example; mild Autism, Dyspraxia, Dyslexia, Anxiety, depression and Epilepsy which I will take about later on this book.

Even though I haven’t been diagnosed for my disabilities I read about the problems I face, which I learned to realise that I am not the only one to face otherwise their wouldn’t be any research. In a strange way people with LD are our doctors because we only know what we face and feel. Whether we know what’s wrong is another matter. It helps if we come across someone going through same thing even we don’t wish them to do so. I will say more about these things in chapters to come.

We all know when we are children we like other children to be the same as us. If that’s not the case children can be very nasty to one another. What’s worse for people with LD is that LD slows us down. For example; I was bullied by children the age and younger because I couldn’t tie my shoe laces. That doesn’t mean say that I was the only child in the school who couldn’t but it still shouldn’t have been such a big deal.

Research says that people with Autism aren’t very good with imagination but we find it hard to mix with people. As a child I used to make up my own pertain games, world and stories. I have always been one for been lonely but watching the world go by at the same time. I hate been closed from people but I’m not very good around strangers. We can find it hard to understand peoples’ thoughts and feelings mainly if they are strangers to us. We may behave in a strange manner in the eyes of the rest of the world. We find it very hard to make friends and lovers. If we ever do make friends and lovers we find it hard to keep them. Not forgetting poor eye contact. As I have gone through adulthood I have learned to accept the world as I’m better than I used to but I feel I still have a long way to go. There are all different kinds of disabilities. Autism is a disability that people should accept the unexpected of people.

The cause of Autism.

The cause of Autism is much unknown yet in my case it was cause from lack of oxygen to the brain at the birth. I have found hard to believe ever since a learning disability can be a side – accept from anything let alone an injection. I guess it’s more than likely to cause Autism Spectrum than Asperser Syndrome because ASP SYN is milder than AU SP.

I guess I'm more than likely Asperser if I am.

I guess just before the 21st century there was a case on the news about the MMR injection to protect Measles/ rubella, what I don't understand how can any learning disability a side - affect in any table, injection or any medicines and ect? If I do have Autism it is caused by what I was born lack of oxygen to the brain so I guess it's possible that MMR causes Autism Spectrum if that's the case. Brief introduction of what Causes of learning disabilities and health problems.

• Before birth, things can happen to the central nervous system (the brain and the spinal cord) that can cause a learning disability.

• A child can be born with a learning disability if the mother has an accident or illness while she is pregnant, or if the unborn baby develops certain genes.

• Genes are chemicals in our bodies that contain information about us - like how we look.

• A person can be born with a learning disability if he or she does not get enough oxygen during childbirth or is born too early.

• After birth, a learning disability can be caused by early childhood illnesses

Later in this book I will be telling you what causes what but I may not be able to tell you why.

I will tell you how learning disability and health problems can affect day to day lives and how it can slow us down. How the slowness can make society misunderstand our abilities to get on in life. In our own time we can creative talent which mostly gets pushed to side because most of us can only work in our speed which is different compared other people. Society isn’t used to slowness. In Britain we have created a Person Centre Planning service to give people with LD and Mental Health problems more choice and control over lives. jill.coleman@macintyrecharity.org

Asperser Syndrome is foam of Autism in people who have high intelligence but it's also a hidden disability, which means people don't see the problems people have.
When Anxiety linked to Autism is when change happens mainly when something can either

shock or even surprise a person. Good change a little bit of time to get used to as well as bad change. Anxiety is the reason why I am writing about Autism again. It
can make us more upset if we have different information on one thing off two or even
several different people. Autism is a life time disability and some people even call it a disorder. Most of us with Autism have learning disabilities. We find it hard to social interact, communicate. We find it hard not to let things get to us, which is. Asperser Syndrome is foam of Autism in people who have high intelligence but it's also a hidden disability, which means people don't see the problems people have. If

you spend a lot of time with us you will learn that we need more help than you thought. Yet we don't have difficulties in languages. Like expect the unexpected
because these disabilities, illnesses, conditions and disorders can affect different
people in different ways. I have found that I have got better than I used to be since
I have got older but it has been a very slow journey but I don't stop believing in myself and others like me.

Some of us like to spend more time alone, others like people round and some of us can feel like I do a bit of both.
We find it hard to understand people's thoughts and feeling, which may seem selfish but then I am better than I used to be.
We behave in a strange manner without been aware but I have found since I have got older I become more worried and more aware of it knowing off people I've known all
my life have told me.
This can be why we can find hard to make friends but that get better from my experience the more I have been aware of my Autism.
Be also aware of poor eye contract.

Communication Little language, speaking in the same tone, unable to understand meanings of gesture and facial expression, hard to understand jokes, mixing up words like you and I, repeating what they say or and what other people say.
Flapping hands, twirling toes, fixed on the same route round our lives, getting upset by change, sensitive to sound, smell, touch and etc., misunderstanding peoples' thoughts, feelings, actions and etc. Not everyone faces the same all problems so it doesn't make them not Autism depending how many of these problems they do face.

Autism can be part of our Anxiety. Anxiety also kicks in when a person doesn't feel sure of themselves and the rest the world around them. When something is new whether it's good or bad to friendships/ relationships and or someone has died. For example; Broken up relationships and deaths can make you feel depressed and as well as angry. Depression can make you feel very low in yourself, lose interest in everything, not wanting to talk to people, a mixer of feeling lonely and wanting to be on ones' own, smoking a lot, drinking a lot, taking drugs, feeling useless and as if the whole world is against you and not wanting to live anymore. Some of us pull out of it, try to help ourselves and get help like counselling for example; whereas others give up on themselves.

When Anxiety links to Autism is when change happens mainly when something can either
shock or even surprise a person. Good change a little bit of time to get

used to as well as bad change. Anxiety is the reason why I am writing about Autism again.

Dyspraxia.

For example; people can find it hard to fasten shoe laces and buttons.
Finding it hard to carry a hot joint of meat out the oven and heavy hot pans.
A new born baby can slip ones arms.
Can't skip.
Can't ride a bike.
Can't drive a car.

I haven't been diagnosed Dyspraxia but my Auntie think I have Dyspraxia. Over the past
ten years or so she has come across a few who have the same problems as me. I still
think I need to be diagnosed but I wouldn't be surprised if I am because my Co - ordination is bad am Motor skills. Now I have learned what my own problems could be I would like to help others like me to see they will get more help than me. For example; seeing that young children better exercise support than what I did. Support aids and seeing that people get the support people need.

There are more disabilities than I have just written. All disabilities can affect everyday lives one way or the other. For example; mobility, ability with hands, physical co - coordination or Dyspraxia Developmental Co - ordination is when people can only bladder and bowel control, ability to lift and carry, move heavy objects, remembering things, concentration, learning, understanding and or danger awareness. There's still enough awareness on Dyspraxia yet. It's called cope doing one thing at a time, which slows people down. I have had this problem all my life I'm nearly 42years but people have only started to learn about it about just over ten years ago.

Most people do get by with the right support but there isn't the funding anymore.
Britain has very little money now; the help for people with disabilities and health problems is getting vey little because of the cuts the governments are making.
Please learn more about learning disability and mental health on these website sararealed.blogspot.com/ WWW.mencap.org.uk WWW.rethink.org and WWW.mind.org.uk
My email sarajgorman@gmail.com

Dyslexia. There are so many debates about Dyslexia whether it is a learning disability or not. Dyslexia is also misunderstood because it's known as a reading and writing disability so people tend to think that people can't read. More often than not we may get letters and numbers the wrong way round. This can work the same with numbers.
My experience of Dyslexia is very often a memory problem for example; I remember getting bus numbers, b and d mixed up for example dog and bog. When looked at my work I could it was wrong. I could see it didn't look right to me. I rubbed it out to put dog, yet I have stories and poems in my mind. I have always been known for missing words out of sentences and numbers back to front 82 becomes 28, yet I have always found maths very hard. Yet getting numbers back to front and bs and ds the right way round doesn't happen as often now, I still miss words out of sentences and get letters in the wrong places even though I know they are in the word. Sometimes I notice my mistakes other times I don't that's why I need a proof reader.

One thing they could have in common with on the bright side is talent but different talents. For eg; one person could be good at drawing and painting, the other person writing such as poetry and short stories or like me both.

For eg; hidden disabilities are mostly misunderstood because no one can see peoples' disabilities or and mental health problems.

When people can walk and talk it's too easy to think they can learn as quickly as you.
Accept anything off anyone, never think that they can learn has quickly as you just because they can walk and talk.

Never think they can cope with their lives like you just because they can walk and talk.
Many peoples' disabilities and health problems haven't been diagnosed because they have lived with it for so long.

For eg; if you are 40 or over it's hard get diagnosed because they didn't diagnosed in the past.
The best time to get diagnosed is a baby or child so people get an understanding of their disabilities and health problems from day one.

People who have their disabilities and health problems after birth should get diagnosed as soon as possible the same as people who have disabilities before and after birth.
Asperser Syndrome is a mild form of Autism for eg; of a hidden disability linked with other disabilities such as Dyspraxia, Dyslexia, Epilepsy, Anxiety, Depression and ADHD.

Most disabilities and health problems affect the way people communicate.
There are different disabilities and different health problems.
Disabilities and health problems affect different people in different ways.
Expect anything from disabilities and health problems.
For eg; not everyone with the same disability and health problem needs the same help.
Disabilities and health problems affect the brain, body or and both.
Society sees people with disabilities and health problems as a Health and Safety hazard.
We can't work or think as fast as other people.

Some disabilities and health problems are linked to one another.

For eg; a form of Autism Aperger Syndrome can be easy to misunderstand because it's very hidden.

Hearing, speech, eye sight needs brail and sign language; these disabilities can link into a lot if not all disabilities.

It’s like when I said there's different kind of Autism. Sorry to confuse you, Autism is a learning disability. As for how people with disabilities cope with like I said with Autism just except the unaccepted not two people with the same disabilities face the same good and bad in life. Learning disability websites adultprotection.org.uk, WWW.mencap.org.uk and community.care.co.uk. There are many more if you tap in learning disability websites in your search engine.

Mencap say that 1 in 5 people in the UK have learning disabilities. Learning disabilities either start before, during or after birth depending what the disabilities are.

The causes are unknown; it can either
be on its own or linked to other disabilities like mine is. There's no limit of
time of long we feel worried and stress for. It can be even harder if it is linked
on to other disabilities because you feel angry not been equal to the rest of society. When you have been living with it all your life you learn to live with it
and you calmer than you used to be and accept bad things better. We get dryness in our mouths, we feel shaky, tense, fast heart beat and we find it hard to sleep. Just because a person may not face all these things, it doesn't mean they don't suffer from Anxiety Panic attacks are the main causes of Anxiety.

British men are three times more than likely to take their own lives than British woman.

At least 75% of people in the UK suffer from depression, I guess that includes people with and without disabilities but I don't know for sure. Only about 3rd of people try to get help. My worry is if people keep on suffering alone they will make themselves ill. Depression affects one in five older people who live in the community, even more care homes.

Stress is the biggest killer of all for everybody mainly in today's credit crunch; we are all in the same boat. Bear in mind that stress plays on a lot people's state of mind anyway, which can course Anxiety and depression when people worry too much over things. Some things just won't get out of peoples' minds or it can take a long time. For example; things from relationship and marriage break ups to death an even worse paying bill which is more common that ever today. Mencap say People with learning disabilities 58 times likely to die before the age 50 but that's not in the case in everybody. Like I said Stress is a killer for all people but if you have learning disabilities or and health problems on its own it’s double the stress.

You never know!

Every day is unknown,

You could be right as rain one day not the next.

The future seems very bright for you.

That day alone you feel fitter, quicker and brighter than ever.

You can cope with everything and anything, there's no stop in you.

Overnight something bad happens to you, affects the rest of your life.

Now you feel worse than you have ever felt.

Suddenly everything and anything is out of you.

It's all gone for life.

You are a changed person.

You have lost everything about you in your body and mind.

You can't do the things you used yet you have the rest your life to live with it.

You have always been successful in everything you do now you will be always unsuccessful.

The chance of bringing back the person you were is very small.

My word you'd be very lucky if you get back to who and what you were.

Make the best of who and what you are, there may be no tomorrow.

Everyone has a good and bad life as I write.

Birth, college work, school work, nursery, friendships, relationship or and some kind of stress.

We understand that the world is tough for all people but

people with disabilities and health problems find it twice as hard.

We get stressed, upset and ill very easily.

Most people with disabilities and health problems die younger compared to other people.

The main cause is stress.

Some things for people with disabilities are not possible without support.

People with disabilities feel the odd ones out and alone compared with the rest of society.

Over the years I have learned no one is alone with learning disabilities,

There’s more than one person with disabilities, even if we feel alone.

I hope I have written this book to help people to know what to except out of Autism and learning disability.

I hope this will help people with disabilities and health problems,

Families, carers, professions,

Friends and lovers of people with disabilities and health problems.

Writing

I started writing when I stopped at my house in Wolverhampton 1993.

I was recovering at Gran mother’s house from Cancer of the throat at the age of 23.

I was watching Trevor Mcdould telling the news at 10.00pm

I suddenly heard a flash of the council care homes closing down, which worried me.

I started thinking about Charles Dickens writing about orphans and people worse off than myself.

I started writing my life story and short stories.

I have had a few reports published in odd newsletters.

By the time I was 27, I was writing poetry.

I had a poem published in each of 11 books, this not one of them this is off my website.

I have been on many creative writing courses over the years.

In March 2009, I went on a Script and Screen course in B'ham to Better writing.

December 2009, I helped set up a Disabled Women's Writer's group.

December 2009, I helped Mencap set up a Disabled Writer's group.

March 2009, I was on a Script and Screen course to better my writing.

December 2010, I was working on an Art project.

I with other disabled artists helped Penn Hall Special school children create their own Superhero.

What is Autism?

Autism is a life time disability.

Autism can happen at birth or not long after.

Autism can affect people's communication and development.

People with Autism finds it hard to make sense of the world.

There are three forms of Autism Spectrum, Asperser, and ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder).

There are major and mild forms of Autism but none of them show.

Autism is more a mental disability than a Physical disability.

Yet there may be at least one of Autism form of Autism that links to Dyspraxia,

This is also a physical disability as well mental disability.

Dyspraxia is a hidden disability yet physical disability,

This is odd because Physical disabilities are shown on the whole.

What causes Autism?

The cause Autism is still unknown

What is depression and Anxiety?

Depression feeling sad whether you have anything to feel sad or not. Depression is known as a lack of loneliness even when you’re not alone. It won't be loneliness if you help yourself for others to help you. You feel even worse if you have nothing to feel sad about when you do. That sadness turns into anger, shame and even guilt because it seems as if the world is looking at you as if you’re mad when you feel sad for no reason. Today there's more awareness than there used to be but we need to keep on raising awareness.

For most people like myself keeping ourselves busy helps us to get on with our lives but not right away when a crisis happens. Even Gps themselves find depression very hard to understand.
Fear can be a sense of Anxiety, it's too easy to worry more than you should or bad things from the past can still be in your mind no matter how hard you try to forget it. Some people can face nightmares, flashback or and even panic attacks. If the person doesn't help themselves they may take it out others what they have been through or even worse. Some people may be just danger to themselves.

Very often employer worry about these people been a danger to themselves and others but if people are doing what they are good and what they enjoy, this bring a good and safe relationship with the people they work with. When look at it like that they are safer at work than at home. When they don't have anything to keep the mind busy they are more likely to be danger to themselves.
Learning disabilities are conditions and Mental Health problems that affect the body and or mind. For most people chances in life can be very limited but most people have the right support. Some disabilities can be linked to Mental Health, which can all vary. People who have disabilities and Mental Health problems mostly have mental disabilities, which slow the brain down. Many of these people have hidden disabilities that can't be seen such as mine for eg; one is dyspraxia, which is a grip with the hands, co - ordination and Motor skill problems.

This can be why a lot of people can turn to smoking, drugs and etc.

November 2010 update.

All people over Britain are suffering cutbacks for everything. When it comes to people with disabilities needing support for everyday skills for eg running a home, then there isn't the money to pay Social Care staff to support them. Families and carers aren't getting any younger so what does the future bring? These cutbacks affect every topic to do with peoples' lives which are affected whether you have disabilities and Health problems or not.

Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder is a very high form of Autism.
The easiest way to say it is ADHD.

This something to learn to accept if you have been living with it all your life. It's
just hard getting people to accept the way you are as a person as well as a person with learning disabilities.

Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder is a very high form of Autism.
The easiest way to say it is ADHD.

This is where a person has too much energy; they won't sit down for one minute. We don't look at things the same as them. We do and don’t do things that they haven't experienced. If you come across people experiencing what I have experienced, don't give them a hard time, support them. If they look lost, confused, upset or and they look as if they are in danger, if you have time on your hands take them where they need to go or find someone who can help them.

If you are supporting anyone with these problems, it can be worrying for them and for you. If at all possible may be you could keep a diary on how the tablets are affecting the person's every day life, may be you can support them to see their doctor or and drop me an email if you need someone to talk to. May be I can try to support you on finding some information, websites, emails, advice and etc. May be it might be a case of changing their tablets or like in my case it was talking me off the tablets altogether. Which ever way it is, you may be able to see a difference in the person's awareness and ability. sarajgorman@gmail.com.

British men are three times more than likely to take their own lives than British woman.

At least 75% of people in the UK suffer from depression, I guess that includes people with and without disabilities but I don't know for sure. Only about 3rd of people try to get help. My worry is if people keep on suffering alone they will make themselves ill. Depression affects one in five older people who live in the community, even more care homes.

Advocacy is a way of making sure that services are doing their job how they should, which these days is rarely the case. Action tends to speak louder than words. Most of the time promises are made then broken. Yes empowerment is needed one can't depend on other people and services all the time but need to most of the time. different peoples' needs and abilities are different this is why the government is cutting back on to the most important thing even though it's important to save money as well. It’s very important to look at things from both sides of the coin. Different people need support on different things. It is also important to give people confidence too.

Personal care tends to get neglected too for the people who don't have family support. Attitudes need to change because no one know what others are going through unless a lot of these problems happen to them. I think there's a lot of planning to make in services. It's hard to say that we are getting better when all these cuts have come in. The cuts are making us move backwards not forwards which shouldn't be the case.

A lot have of people have been let down by a lot of services for a lot of years, which can make it hard to have trust in services where they give up asking for help even though they need it. More often than not these people have no family support so they are used to nothing getting or and making do. The rest of the world thinks these people are getting their life fine and that they are but that’s not the case in many people.

UNDERSTANDING ANXIETY AND DEPRESSION.

Anxiety and depression can be linked to learning disabilities.
Some people have anxiety, depression and epilepsy, which can link together.
If people get stressed very easily they can suffer from Panic attacks it can bring epilepsy but it doesn't affect everyone the same.
Change can be a big thing for a lot of people with Autism.

Autism world is strange.

Autism is a feeling the world over crowding you.
When you’re feeling as if you’re in prison but you’re not.
When you’re free you’re not free.
The world and its people seem bigger, smaller and better than you.
Everyone seems to have better chances, choices and control better than you.
Everyone has an education, job, family, lover, child, home, social life but not you.
Even if and when you have those things you always feel useless as if you’re spoiling someone Else's life because you need their support.
The world blind to see what depending on the rest of the world feels like.
The world is telling us what to do because we support, as adults we still feel like children.
As an adult you feel more useless when people are saying what you can and can't do.
Ok Autism affects our lives but with right support we will get through.
The world is lonely even when it's full, we must keep travelling in hopes loneliness and an overcrowded world is no more.
We can only hope but life goes on.
We mustn't think badly of life all the time.
Even when out seeing millions of people it's still a lonely world in a lonely room.
When people are there they may as well not be but even lovelier without them whether they are strange or not.
They are living in a different world to the Autism world.

We never stop believing in ourselves, despite the world overcrowding and closing us in. 19.2.2011

Anxiety Disorder is a kind of Mental illness that causes people to feel worried and stressed whether we have anything to worry about or not. Other than counselling,
exercise and cut down on coffee is the only treatment I'm aware of. Most medications may be on the market but I have been living with it far too long to notice, it just
something you learn to accept if you have been living with it all your life. It's
just hard getting people to accept the way you are as a person as well as a person with learning disabilities.

The causes are unknown, it can either
be on it's own or linked to other disabilities like mine is. There's no limit of
time of long we feel worried and stress for. It can be even harder if it is linked
on to other disabilities because you feel angry not been equal to the rest of society. When you have been living with it all your life you learn to live with it
and you more calmer than you used to be and accept bad things better. We get dryness in our mouths, we feel shaky, tense, fast heart beat and we find it hard to sleep. Just because a person may not face all these things, it doesn't mean they don't stuffer from Anxiety Panic attacks are the main causes of Anxiety.

Anxiety and panic attack.

It can be very strange bad and strange thoughts go into your head whether there's a reason to feel like this or not.
You can feel whatever way you feel whether your thoughts in your head are true or not.
These thoughts can happen any time, any place and anywhere even in your sleep.
During childhood. which I had they can be night terrors but as adults they can be nightmares.
You can hear and see things whether they are there or not.
Many times you chat to yourself and answer yourself in your head.
Everything seems and feels so real at the time whether it is all not.
Even though you go through these things yourself it doesn't mean that everyone who suffers from Anxiety and panic attacks does.
Lying in bed in my sleep this morning I was on top of a bridge moving in rushing water of a storm.
Strangely on this bridge there were an box of eggs, the lid kept on going up and down as the bridge was rocking in the strom.
Although I was in bed covered up I felt cold dafts going down my spine.
The water was rushing forward like waves as if it was the sea but it was a river.
From the bridge the bottom of the river seemed further and further down, i was trying not to look down but the bridge took me down, the further I thought down seemed and felt very scary.
With very strong wind of the storm the eggs were rushing of the bridge with the waves of the strom as the bridge broke to bits.
I felt myself going further and further more as the cold daft went through my spine then i couldn't bring myself to go further more.
Now I feel mad with myself because these thoughts came into my head for no reason at all yet I don't know why.
In the past not that often I have had thoughts not that much different to this but they seem so long to remember now. 28.5.2013

WHAT MAY NOT HELP YOUR AWARENESS?

People autism that are on certain tablets for example, very strong tablets can cause very dangerous side -affects. Saying that these affects can happen to you even if you don't have autism. Doctors should put you on the tablets that are right for you.

You could find that these tablets affect your ability, which could be a

scary and dangerous experience for you like it was for me. From walking the street around hours on end, you lose your sense of direction and surroundings. I have been close to have been getting run over by a car because of the tablets making me unaware. Sometimes we don't realise what a big wide world it is, it can be dangerous if that. It's as if you are always in a black out all the while. To society you as if you are going round the bend, which are when walking round for hours not understanding where you going, what you are doing, not knowing whether you are going the right or wrong way. These things can happen to you unintentionally, a lot of people don't understand that. It's as if it was your plan to your life to be this way but you don't. People, who don't know and understand people with disabilities and health problems are, tend to misunderstand us. This is where more awareness is needed.

Different conditions and disorders can affect different

people in different ways.

I have found that I have got better than I used to be since

I have got older but it has been a very slow journey but I don't stop believing in myself and others like me.
Some of us like to spend more time alone, others like people round and some of us can feel like I do a bit of both.
We find it hard to understand people's thoughts and feeling, which may seem selfish but then I am better than I used to be.
We behave in a strange manner without been aware but I have found since I have got older I become more worried and more aware of it knowing off people I've known all
my life have told me.

This can be why we can find hard to make friends but that get better from my experience the more I have been aware of my Autism.

Be also aware of poor eye contract.

When you have learning disabilities there can be a lack of support off society because we are slow and find it harder to cope with our lives than other people yet we are easier ill than other people.

Stress, Depression and Anxiety can last short term or for life.

If you think about it we can all stuffer stress one way or another.

It's so easy to worry about things that you didn't need to but with some things you were right doing so.

If you would like to have more understanding with the Mind.

You may learn what’s, whys and how the Mind is or can be affected.

Tap Mind in the Google engine or whatever you have got.

WWW.mind.org.uk

As a child I had a very poor memory in what the teachers were trying to teach in class.

I could not take information but I could read and write fairly well, I mostly used to copy off the board.

I learn ed more when I left school when I was there.

Signs and symptoms of learning disability.

People can find it harder and longer to learn than other people.

Feeling angry because they can't learn as quick as others or not at all.

Behaviour problems due to disabilities, health problems and we want to be equal to other people.

Anxiety can be part of our disabilities and health problems. Anxiety also kicks in when a person doesn't feel sure of themselves and the rest the world around them. When something is new whether it's good or bad to friendships/ relationships and or someone has died. For eg; Broken up relationships and deaths can make you feel depressed and as well as angry. Depression can make you feel very low in yourself, lose interest in everything, not wanting to talk to people, a mixer of feeling lonely and wanting to be on ones' own, smoking a lot, drinking a lot, taking drugs, feeling useless and as if the whole world is against you and not wanting to live anymore. Some of us pull out of it, try to help ourselves and get help like counselling for eg; whereas others give up on themselves.

Some people may worry more than they should, which is part of their condition what seems a mole hill to you feels like a mountain to them. You just need to be patient until the person realises that things may not be as bad to what it seems to them.

Everyone suffers from Anxiety and depression one way or another.

Sadly there's not enough said about stress I think we need to raise Stress awareness for everyone, that includes people with LD and Health problems.

This is where a person has too much energy; they won't sit down for one minute.

What calms me down in the end was when the doctors took me off the heavy dose tablets I was, which had been on since birth to 13 years old.

They don't sleep at night, which makes them very over tired, moody and not easy to get along with.
They can pull a paddy at any time, any place and anywhere.
This can cause very poor concentration.

It can cause a lot of lack of communication and understanding with the people around them.

I was very hyperactive as a child.

Getting diagnosed.

It's not that often I can say that the government spends the money on the right things. In this case I feel it's right to say that younger people have more rights to be diagnosed than older people. Older people always like to see that younger people get better help than what they did whatever it is. On the other hand life is unknown some things are too late to happen, others aren't.

The best time for disabilities and health problems to be diagnosed is from birth and very early childhood.

This will depend on how long it will take for someone to notice the first signs of disabilities and health problems in a person.

It's best to get diagnosed as soon as possible so people know what support people need, then they have more chance of leading equal lives to others and being more understood.

Whether people get diagnosed or not, it may well depend on how long they have lived with they disabilities and or health problems.

I would have thought it depends on what kind of disabilities and or health problems people have to what kind of they may be able to get and what their needs are.

Many people with disabilities and or health problems haven't been diagnosed.

For eg; by a guess if you are over 40 it's hard to get diagnosed because you weren't diagnosed from the start of life or whenever the disabilities or and health problems started.

They didn't diagnose disabilities and health problems years ago.

How these health conditions can affect people and their lives.

Whatever is going on in peoples' lives and minds some people can sleep for thinking all the while others sleep to all the while to avoid the situations whether it's a good bad change in their lives.
Some people can find it hard to concentrate on other things they only cope with one thing at a time.
Some people may worry more than they should, which is part of their condition what seems a mole hill to you feels like a mountain to them. You just need to be patient until the person realises that things may not be as bad to what it seems to them.

Everyone suffers from Anxiety and depression one way or another.
Sadly there's not enough said about stress I think we need to raise Stress awareness for everyone, that includes people with LD and Health problems.

Some people don't know that some people suffer LD and Health problems together, that's what I have otherwise I wouldn't have known that.

Anxiety and depression are forms of stress in every ones' lives.

Many things can get on top of people

e, paying bills, not enough work, too much work, marriage, relationships, children and even loneliness.

It's very hard to make a balance to keep healthily and happy.

Save it in your favourites or Bookmarks.

Whatever Health problems and disabilities are we have enough stress with that on its own.

We understand for eg; that we have to pay our bills like everyone else

but with the problems we have already, we have double stress.

You feel tense.

You panic and worry about things that aren't as bad as they seem.

For eg; when I leave home to go anywhere I check my bag and my front door to make sure I have locked the door, remember my keys, bus passed and etc.

Touch wood I only forgot my money and phone once and had to travel from town back home to get, lucky I wasn't working at the time.

It seems like the end of the world when someone in your life dies or when your relationship breaks down.

You feel as if the world is controlling you.

I panic when I walk into services, load of people give me different answers to one question.

For eg; is this benefit right for me?

I can't cope with too much jargon and too much information.

To be truthful the answer is either yes or no not both.

Managers need to inform all staff on what the rules are otherwise it confuses people.

Sometimes crowds can panic me where there are too many people around me.

I am a bit better than I used to be.

It can depend where I am and how many people there are.

The first longest my relationship broke up at the end of 1996, which was two and a half years.

Now when I think about it wasn't that long yet after been apart 4 years, I gave him a second chance that lasted seven years.

Now there's no going back.

I couldn't stand sitting in the house alone but I wasn't in the mood to talk to people either.

I just used watch the world go by.

At that point I used to drink very heavy, which lasted six to twelve mouths.

I then worked it that couldn't go on like this forever yet I was still having a break down and even feeling as if I wanted to end my life.

Never the less I cut the drinking down and I started writing poetry to get things off my chest.

I always have to have thingt was the same when my ex boyfriend Anthony spilt up with me the first time I started writing poetry to help me cut down the drinking during the 20 years I wasn’t having fits. Writing poetry helped me a lot to say what was on my mind. When I think back it was surprising that my fits weren’t brought back on then. I was only 27 then but my fits didn’t come back until I was 31.

I had nothing going on in my life; otherwise I get very angry, depressed and bored.My Gran died in 2007 and my last relationship broke down for the last time.

If it hadn't of been for Employment Pathways getting me on to Mencap, I don't know how I would have coped with my life now.

The first longest my relationship broke up at the end of 1996, which was two and a half years.

Medications.

You could find that these tablets affect your ability, which could be a scary and dangerous experience for you like it was for me. From walking the street around hours on end, you lose your sense of direction and surroundings. I have been close to have been getting run over by a car because of the tablets making me unaware. Sometimes we don't realise what a big wide world it is, it can be dangerous if that. It's as if you are always in a black out all the while. To society you as if you are going round the bend, which are when walking round for hours not understanding where you going, what you are doing, not knowing whether you are going the right or wrong way. These things can happen to you unintentionally, a lot of people don't understand that. It's as if you plan your life to be this way but you don't. People, who don't know and understand people with disabilities, tend to give us a hard time. May
Once someone tells you about something you have been doing or not doing that your not aware of when you come round and someone tells you what's happened, it's very upsetting because that isn't the real you. May be it affects you when you don't have your tablets. Everyone is
difference, good job we are otherwise it would be a boring world.

When I really worry about things, it causes me to have Petie Mal fits.I am easy misunderstood mainly when I am accessing services, when information doesn't seem straight forward to me.

I found the tablets I was taking in those day made me feel sleepily in the day and hyperactive at night, I guess these were a few of the side -affects from the old tablets. It's as if you have had an operation and the hospital has let you out right away to find your own way in the world.

The tablets in those days were very powerful and strong, I think I was on the wrong tablets because they were too; my fits have always only been very mild. For eg, Strong tablets are too strong for people who have mild fits, which causes people dangers to themselves and others through no fault of my own. The names of the tablets were called Phenobarbital. I guess I was taking them three times a day, I think they were about 300mg to 500mg, I may well be wrong.

The tablets that I am on now are called Lamotrigine; they are only 100mg which I only take one twice a day. These tablets are very mild, I don't get the same problems as I used to get these day. I learn better and I am now more aware of the world around me than what I used to be.

We don't look the same as them and we do and don’t do things that they haven't experienced. If you come across people experiencing what I have experienced, don't give them a hard time, support them. If they look lost, confused, upset or and they look as if they are in danger, if you have time on your hands take them where they need to go or find someone who can help them.

POSSIBLE SUPPORT.

What doesn't help our behaviour problems is lack of sleep, diet and we feel tense.
We need to cut down on may be salt and sugar for sure because most of us with autism suffer from been hyperactive. If only my family knew in my childhood what they know now, may be everyone would have had some sleep. May be not in my case as a child.
What people didn't know during in my childhood over twenty year ago, I needed exercise and I needed something to relax me? If you are like how I used to be or you may know someone who is, may be that's the support what's needed for you or and whoever. May be I can look for websites that try to support Autistic children, teenagers, adults, their families and carers if you want me to. If you are supporting and caring for someone with autism in one way or another, you are welcome to contact myself or and Mencap, we could get you on to other places if you want, if our support isn't good enough. You could be a family member, a carer, even a support worker or a friend to them. Please email sarajgorman@gmail.com. Perhaps I can get you some websites, email addresses and etc if you want my support.

I have heard that there are disability nurses in school but I am glad to say that they were there that in my day, sorry I sound really old. It is true how things have changed so much in last twenty to thirty yrs or so. There are also things that never have changed or and even never will.
My weight and height was always checked. I was always too fat or too thin but never Anorexia or obese, or if you know what I mean. I don't think they never knew what eating disorders were.
Perhaps they had heard of Anorexia but not obese. Nine times out ten we are either underweight or over weight, that's all they knew. I think we knew about Anorexia which is under weight but not Obese which is overweight. I believe now that we do know, everyone should have check ups, mainly people with disabilities. Nine times out of ten people with disabilities have health problems so their weight isn't the only thing to think about.

For eg I was hyperactive as a child, I must admit I was to blame there. I did enjoy my sweets, cakes and etc too much. Its shows that in those days there were very little education given to adults about what's good and bad for children. My family were very good but society didn't really tell them about children who had disabilities at that time. Mind we didn't know a lot about anything in those days. I'd also be interested to know how adults and teenagers coped with their disabilities yrs before I was born or even in my early life. Did they have carers because if they did, there weren't a great of support for the carers either? If you find anything out about the lives of people with disabilities in the past, please drop an email on sarajgorman@gmail.com.

Thank you very much if you would like to share stories with me. We can share a lot of our own experiences if you are happy to do so. Something you have read, seen or saw may have caught your eye, which could be something to do with what I write about on this website. If you would like to email me, you can write to me about what you want.
I have told you what happened in my childhood what has changed. What about the things that happened to people with learning disabilities before people like me now were even born? It can be about children, teenagers and adults in those times over any subject. For eg People with disabilities weren't allowed to live alone, I don't think there were support workers to support them. Sadly a lot of them live in homes, hospitals and etc because not a lot of their families may not be able to cope with them.

With me it could also have been the heavy tablets I was taking at that time. I couldn't pay attention to anyone or anything in the day but as high as a kite keeping everyone awake at night. I was also suffering bad behaviour problems, which could have been another thing my tablets could be to blame for. Someone else whose suffering the same thing as me as what I did, their affects could be caused by certain foods for eg. May be some people suffer their affects with out their certain medicines and food. Like I have said it would have been a boring world if we would have suffered all the same things.
Having said there are other affects as well as behaviour problems, hyperactive, lack of communication and understanding. There other causes of these affects I guess as well as tablets and food. I would be so grateful if someone could send me an email if they found anything, thank you so much. sarajgorman@gmail.com.

What do we learn from experiences from the past for the future?

Find out how medicines and foods can affect difference people's health problems and disabilities? Find out why some people have these affects without their certain medicines and foods?
What should we have known and what do we need know about helping people to look after their health problems and disabilities?
All I can think of now is having learning disability nurses should be not only in school but also in colleges and work placements as well. Mind you I think I have seen disabilities nurses in the colleges though. Please drop me an email if you know any information about that, thank you.More regular check ups, gentle exercise and diet programs to match with the health problems and disabilities.
We need things that help people learning disabilities to relax to be able to cope with the good and bad times in their lives.

BE AWARE OF POSSIBLE SIDE - EFFECTS FROM SOME MEDICATIONS THAT COULD AFFECT YOUR WORK AND EDUCATION.

A lot of people with disabilities like me I'm one of those people who didn't learn anything in school because society wasn't educated to teach people with disabilities. There was a lack of communication and understanding between children and teachers. For eg; I was on this medication called Phenobarbital for Epilepsy; this affected my ability to learn and I was very disappointed that I left school without any qualifications. A lot of special schools didn't have any access for children with disabilities to take exams when I was in school. I hope things have changed a lot for children with disabilities since I was in school but please keep an eye on side - effects of medication in case they are too dangerous for them! Later on in this site you will read a report on how dangerous Phenobarbital was.

When I left school, I caught up with my education in college. OK, I achieved my exams but I every September I would enrol on roughly the courses every year without a job at end of it, which went on for years. It became very boring in the end. Still better late than never but if more support is given the quicker a person with a disability is in the job they want.

Well should I even say that having support helps them along their way quicker so they don’t have to cope with years of discrimination like people of my age group did, before that? We were also very limited to what courses; I was at college well over ten years. I enjoyed college but sometimes there was support but other times there wasn't. I thought I was never going to get any support with work.

I was signing on for 13 years, I though I was going to be there forever, I hated it. My life had changed a lot when I was working for Our Shout supported by Mencap. All these years of college have been worth it after all. Even then I studied study towards my exams at Access For Business for the Social Enter Prise Business, which didn't kick off for very long through a lack of funding to support us.

Back in May 2011, Mencap's funding had cutback on the Our Shout Self Advocacy group. Now I am an Advocacy worker for 1 Voice Wolverhampton. I am also a Learning Disability and Mental Health awareness trainer for University of Wolverhampton thought Rethink Mental Illness Wolverhampton.

Courses will need to be more interesting for people with disabilities and health problems to get jobs equal to other people. I have read in the report Valuing People now, since I have left college that a lot of courses have cut back for people with disabilities. People like myself were either on training schemes, voluntary work or and the dole. Please give support for people with disabilities to be given better chances than that!

It is more dangerous for people with disabilities to look at the four walls 24 hours a day we need to work and go to college, we will just depressed otherwise. We need more to life than just keeping our lives and minds busy, we want a career just like you.

If you would like to email me on anything at all, I would be very interested here from you if it's anything to do with learning disability, meaning family member, carer, parent or a person with a learning disability yourself. You make want to talk about the cutbacks or and learning disability rights. sarajgorman@gmail.com. For people who don’t suffer from Anxiety, depression and epilepsy when there’s isn’t any work or anything going these health conditions came come on when people haven’t got anything or anyone in their live. For people who have got these health conditions it can make them even worse.

My Story.

Over the years I have learn ed that I am just a bit of a slow learner, I'm not thick after all. It's as if society thought I was useless and too much hard work for them to teach me about life. We need to learn at our own speed otherwise we get stressed out and we feel left out to others. I understand every human being suffers with Anxiety but 9 times out of ten people with disabilities suffer with health problems. Having said too much Anxiety can make anyone ill or and bring health problems on whether you have a disability or not. It would be very helpful if people would have more patience with people with disabilities, we understand, well at least I do that you haven't got all day but tomorrow another day or whenever another day is. If that's not possible, then I am sorry to say that word again, we need to get the right support and the amount of support that's right for each of us as possible.

Back in May 2011, I lost my work with Mencap because the funding was cutting back on the Our Shout Self Advocacy group. From May to December there didn’t seem to be anything not even the right courses for me. I got very down in myself having to spend my days at home. I tried to ring different services to get some counselling.

I just needed someone to talk to before I started having thoughts of wanting to take on my own life. I found very hard to think positive and I found it hard to believe that things would get better again.

I rang up Healthy Minds then they referred me on to the Crisis team, they were asking me if I was going to take my own life, when and how I was going to do it. I said no I just want some counselling before I felt at that stage then they referred me back to Healthy minds.

For example; Panic attacks can also bring on Epilepsy but then with my disabilities whatever they are for sure. I was born with lack of oxygen to the brain, which caused me to have fits from birth. When I have stress or I think I have things to worry about I panic but sometimes it brings a fit on other times it doesn't. This can mainly be when I have been misunderstood or and even confused with something like information for example; some things can make me panic then get me angry and if I get too upset it may bring on my fits, depending what the situation is and how stressful it is to me. I went 20 years, without having a fit bit during that time I was working at Camnant a living in riding stable in Newtown Powys Wales. My Boss Miss Coyne thought I was having Petite Mal fits, which I couldn't understand, I wasn't feeling unwell. She had got the doctor to put me on Tregratol tablets without my families say so. When were 20 I was so depressed with taking the tablets for no reason. I took an over dosed on the lot but lucky enough as you know I pulled through. My family went mad and got the doctor to take me off them. Most medications can make people depressed which are caused by the side-affects.

This is something that doctors should look into because this does not just accept the whose taking the medication but others around mainly if the medication causes the person to have behaviour problems for example if someone is Moody a lot. Like I say I have written in many reports advising people to except the unaccepted in all people. That means except anything. Some people seem don't in themselves with medication others without. It's all swings and roundabouts.

Even most good things can be stressful for example; taking exams and waiting for exam results is another example even though on the other hand it could get me through life. I am very keen person if I fail I just keep going but despite of the panic it causes me, which is part of disability, I cope somehow. This can happen in any ones' case not just mine.

This is why for a lot of people it’s very important for them to have positive things on my mind. As time went on and I was starting pick myself up I went back to doing my poetry.

Hiding pain with a smile.

Sometimes the world can know too much about you.
Sometimes we should be free to have our thoughts going through our mind and only tell our thoughts if we want.

Coping alone is a person's choice whether it's right or wrong.

Some of us deal with things better when we are older than we did when we were younger.
Drinking may not be the answer, it blocks your mind at the time but your problems are there the next day.
Keeping ones' self busy is keeping ones' self going.
Now it's too easy to fear the future.
Not wanting to be alone but not having to deal with disappointed ended love.
It's hard to know what you do and don't want let alone what's going to happen.
Try not to think about it, just get on with it with a smile.
May be it's easy to smile but hard to stop thinking about you.
No matter how I try I find my feelings for you are hard to go. 9.12.2012

A brave face.

Step into the world to show them you are there.

With your head up high.
Show them no fear even though you may have fear.
You are more than a stranger so they shouldn't judge you how they see you.
You may worry more than you should.
The world may seem even worse than what it is.
Once you have taken one step you can take another one.
Nothing is lost: nothing is gained.
Many things happen for the right reasons even if they seem wrong and ufair.

Try not to think about what happened infront of them
Try not to think about it, just get on with it with a smile to show to them so they don't think they are bothering you.
May be it's easy to smile but hard to stop thinking about you.
May it's hard to smile and to stop thinking about it but try cause they will play on your mind if you let them.
9.12.2012

I can fight this bad feeling whatever it is.

A bad feeling can happen whether there's a reason or not.
You can feel bad even when you know there's nothing to feel about bad about.You can feel as the world is looking at you and judging even if they are not.
You can feel alone even when your not.
You can feel worried even if you have nothing to worry about.
Stay strong which i know is easy to say, show the world despite of how you feel that you are alive.
You don't feel special but you are.
You feel like a bad person but you are a good person.
Of course things will get better even though it doesn't seem that way.
The good is out there somewhere it's just finding it.
It may not come for a long time to come but then quicker than you think
It will be better if your patient enough to wait.
I know the bad is too easy to fear but the good is hard to think.
I guess I just accept too much without meaning to.
I know it's not easy to believe in ourselves even though we should.
Yet if we believe in ourselves we can believe in others.
If we learn to love ourselves we can love others.
The world is a rockly road but we can move forward if work hard enough.
We must not try to feel sorry for ourselves so often.
We can all fear loneliness even more when we get old.
Then old age isn't a problem I hope I get wiser.
We shouldn't rush ourselves. 9.12.2012

Too scared to talk.

Finding it say it hard to say what one thinks in case others judge.
It may not be nice but it may be the truth.
One can be scared of the truth in a good way as well as a bad but then the truth isn't always what we want heard then we do, it's no good living in a lie.
Not wanting to hurt the feelings of others.

Not wanting to full out with others because they can’t agree with you and you can’t agree with them.

Everyone has the rights of their own views.

Not everyone gets along: not everyone doesn’t get along.
Right or wrong you can't make feelings go away until feelings want to.
We all make mistakes but not all are mistakes.
It's what we say and do what matters: thinking is thoughts not words. 9. 12. 2012

Understanding people.

The only people who understand we is we.
Freedom is important we without knowing it we control one another.
We are looked at as strange from strangers as if we have masks to cover as faces.
We are looked at as if we are wrong all the while.
We are looked as if we are not human.
We looked at if we are nuts and out of our minds all the time.
There's a fear if we are watched all the time.
What we do and say isn’t wrong all the time.
People may fear in case they are misunderstood. 9.12.2012

Hard to trust.

To be able to trust is to know that there's faith that no one will judge you for what you do and say.
To be able to not worry about what people think.
It should be easy to believe on ones' self and others. 9.12.2012

When I was awake I was asleep.

The voices I heard were shouting at me to wake me up as I was in my own world.
I think I was been asked questions that I didn't know the answers to.
The teachers wrote so much jargon on the board in school.
It seemed as if I never paid a great attention with the world around me.
This is why I didn’t learn anything in school.

They moved my table and chair to the end of the class.
Let kids laugh at me and bullying was hell outside on the playground.
They made me feel so thick and small that they all called me thicko.
For all the tablets I took, if I were still taking them my adulthood would have been destroyed as well as my childhood.
Now kids and teachers I'm not the person I was, I've learned more since I left school.
In school I learned nothing at all. 9.12.12

It may not been as bad as what I think.

It's not easy to feel good.

Why do we feel so bad.

We may be very silly our minds may be playing tricks.

No matter how hard we try to control it, we can't help it whether are worrying over something or nothing.

When it's something some things can be hard to talk abut others can be easy to talk about.

May be I am worrying about nothing.

There can be so so much fear of losing the good we have got.

I've tried so hard to block you out my mind but it's no good. 12.12.12

I'm finding it hard to trust you again.

I shouldn't have trusted you from the start.
I'm so glad I didn't marry you.
Even now I'm not sure whether or not you were cheating on me.
Even now it's hard to say whether or not you were unfaithful.
What makes me think this is that you were texting a lot in front of me and getting texts back.
You made me feel very stressed and very uncomfortable that's why I won't have you back.
I kept on thinking this was a bad dream.
I may be wrong in what I did thought but the texts you sent and the texts you had back went on far too long because I loved you so much. 13.12.12

In time I started to go back on courses to building myself back to some kind of work, which is the same field as Mencap near enough, which called 1 Voice and Rethink.

Misunderstanding people around us and information.

Finding it hard to join in with others.
Finding it hard to show interest in things.

Different kinds of Autism.

Some people with Autism find social imagicnation hard.
Doesn't seem to know how to play with toys.

Is attached to one particular toy or object. Excessively lines up toys or other objects

Repetitive behaviors or interests, which causes children with Autism to not have any interest or learning ability in the world around them.

ASD is defined by a certain set of behaviors that can range from the very mild to the severe.

Some Other Signs

Poor eye contact

Doesn't smile

At times seems to be hearing impaired

Physially disabled

Mentally Disabled.

which is odd because physial disabilities shown on the whole.
I was born with lack of oxgren to the brain,
Autism can happen, before during and after birth.

I never used to sleep at night but I couldn't pay attention in the day so I didn't get on very well in school.

I hope Health staff today can become more aware of the side affects a lot of medications can have. One can never be too sure if the information on the packages is right.

Some people who live their own with very little support mainly with these cut backs, may not find the information on the packs accessible meaning clear.

If the person has none or little support health staff should go through the information with them.

It only takes someone not to have anyone or enough people around them; if they don't understand the information they may take too much medication or none at all.

He causes are hard to know but from my experience, I was put on a heavy dose of tablets that were far too strong for my fits, from birth to 13.
This lost me a lot of my school education; I never got on with the teachers all the children.
What made it even worse was that there was very little any education in learning disability and mental health in those days.
When I came off those tablets, after a couple of years or so I started to become more of the world, learn things and slowly starting to get along with people.
What we are starting to be more aware of is the salt and sugar that can send people on a high. Despite of some foods and drink been low sugar and salt now, there's still a lot with far too much salt and sugar in. We need to be keeping an eye on these things. For eg; have they left enough sugar and salt out? I admit as a child I used to eat a hell of a lot of sugary things, which we very unaware of back then.

We don't always get the right services to support us. In Wolverhampton there's more support Autistic children than adults.
We don't always get the right support with work, benefits, home and etc.

Autism and learning disability.

Doctor Leo Kanner discovered Autism.

The cause of autism is not known, but it's likely that genes play a role.

These genes may disrupt normal brain development.

There is no cure for autism. But for many children, autism symptoms improve with treatment and with age.
Some children with autism grow up to lead normal or near-normal lives. Living options for adults with ASD include:

I suffered from very bad behaviour problems, I would have a temper paddies any time any place and anywhere.

I would scream any place down.

There is not that much differences between Autism Spectrum and Asperger Syndrome. Asperger Syndrome is a hidden disability.

It can take a long time for strangers to be aware people with Asperger Syndrome.

People with Asperger can be misunderstood so easy.

People with Autism Spectrum can have major speech problems, which people can notice.

Possible Signs of Autism Spectrum Disorders in Children.

People with Asperger as mild speech,

if any speech problems at not a lot of notice is taken.
Does not babble, point, or make meaningful gestures by 1 year of age.

Does not speak one word by 16 months

Does not combine two words by 2 years

Does not respond to name

Loses language or social skills

It can be hard for people with Autism to communicate with society.

Most people with Autism find social interaction hard.

There is not that much differences between Autism Spectrum and Asperger Syndrome. Asperger Syndrome is a hidden disability.

It can take a long time for strangers to be aware people with Asperger Syndrome.

People with Asperger can be misunderstood so easy.

People with Autism Spectrum can have major speech problems, which people can notice.

Possible Signs of Autism Spectrum Disorders in Children.

People with Asperger as mild speech,

if any speech problems at not a lot of notice is taken.
Does not babble, point, or make meaningful gestures by 1 year of age.

Does not speak one word by 16 months

Does not combine two words by 2 years

Does not respond to name

Loses language or social skills

It can be hard for people with Autism to communicate with society.

Most people with Autism find socical interaction hard.

Like all people with and without disabilities people with Autism want to lives to the full.

ke all people, we want to make the most of our lives.

Listen to us, we have rights too!

We want to be treated like human beings not like objects.

A lot of people with Autim like our routine,
change is a hard thing for us to deal with.
We all have different disabilities and different difficulties.

There are many hidden disabilities that are misunderstood when peoples' disabilities don't show.

My disabilities have not been dianosed, they knew very little when I was born.
There could be least one form of Autism that links with Dyspaxia.
May be you can search on any refence how many forms of Autism link up with Dyspaxia and which ones are they. Autism like most disabilities can happen before, during and after birth, which is a mild damage on the left hand side of my brain, which made me a bit slow. I was born with Epiepsy, I had fits until I was 12 , then came back when I was 31.
Autism can affect peoples' communication and development.
There are different forms of Autism, may be my form is a Mild form called AS,

which has never been dianosed.

but my family have learned over the years
that I may some kind of mild Autism.
When people first see me,

Dyspraxia is a hidden yet physial disability,they think I can learn as quick as them because I can walk and talk.

Some people may never see me again so they will never know my disabilities.

Mild Autism and Dyspraxia could be linked together, even Dyspraxia is a hidden physical disability .Even though I can walk and talk, I do have co - ordation problems mostly with my hands, even though my disabilities in my hands are not shown. When it comes using my hands my problems are for eg; opening jars,

my grip is not very strong.

Motor skiills can be a problem.

Autism is more of a Mental disability than Physical or and both.

If I do have mild Autism I may be Asperger.

Asperger and Dyspraxia are hidden disabilities.

My Aunty thinks I may have Dyspraxia.

People with disabilities can find it hard to explain ourselves to make ourselves understood, give us time for us to do and say what we are going to.

There is not much difference between Dyslexia and Dyspraxia.

Dyslexica is not a gripping problem yet Dyslexia and Dyspraxia are reading, writing, maths and spelling problems.

You must try to understand the talents behind thes problems.

It doesn't mean that people with disabilities useless,

information may be put down on paper the wrong way round for eg;. Many of people with all kinds of disabilities and health problems are famous for their talents.

As a writer, when I get ideas I write as I think, can be too fast to notice my mistakes.

I need someone help me proof read my work because some mistakes I notice others I don't. This is why I help to see that there are no mistakes.Due to my Dyslexia there may be spelling, grammar problems and some things. I may find it hard to put writing down on paper to make sense. This is where most people are good with numbers.

I am not good with numbers.I am creative with words, it can be so easy to get misunderstood.

This can leave peoples's lives controled without any choice.People with disabilities know when our lives are been controled and when we have no choice.

We may have problems that affect our lives but still have brains,

we are just a bit slow.

We are not thick or stuib!

We just need a bit more help with some things than other people.

Society says that most people with disabilities are poor with coping with money yet, which is true.

Not many of us do not get enough help to take care of our money.

There are more children's service, than adult services.

There should be services for all people.

Lack of help.

A lot of people need help with benefits, work, home and etc.

These forms are not Accessible for all people with disablities to read, write and understand.

Some people can't write or even sign their name.

The help should be there from all services if and when people with disabilities need it and want it.

Not eeryone who should have help always gets help or enough.

People with disablities need more people around in case they need help with important things.

Some things have to be done for a certain date.

For eg; benefit forms when they have to be in for certain dates.

Not all people with disabilities can read or even understand the forms.

The same people can't be around for people with disabilities 24 hrs a day.

For eg; families and other people need breaks.

Some people have not anyone to help them.

There's never enough help out there!

Help mostly seems to come in when it's not needed.

There are different disabilities and mental health problems.
This can cause a lack of communication,

Through misunderstanding.

There are three forms of Autism Autism Spectrum, and ADHD ( Attention Defiect Hyperactive Disorder.)

Aperger Syndrome can be linked with Dyspraxia, Epilepsy, Anxiety, depression and ADHD.

The causes of disabilities and health problems can happen before, during or after birth.

Things can happen to the Central System.

The brain and Spinal cord.

Genes are chemicals in the bodies that contain information about us like we look.

Many say that not all disabilities and health problems run in families.

A child born lack of oxygen during birth or born too early.

People with certain specific conditions can have disabilities too.

For eg; some people with Autism have learning disabilities.

People with disabilities and health problems are good and not good at different things just like you.

Some people don't know that some people suffer LD and Health problems together, that's what I have otherwise I wouldn't have known that.

Anxiety and depression are forms of stress in every ones' lives.

Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder is a very high form of Autism.
The easiest way to say it is ADHD.
It's possible I may have had ADHD as a child or it could have been due to the tablets I was taking at the time.

It may well be worth looking into family history and research to if there has been any learning disability in your family history whether there is now or not.

We are mostly seen for the things that we can't do rather than what we can do.
We achieve our goals the best way we can.

Not all people with disablities can get things done fast enough.

The worry is unless the disabilities are shown,

people with disabilities are misunderstood,

we don't get the help we really need.

This is why being dianosed is important because ourneeds are misunderstood.

Like I have said not long ago in this book, the money is spend on the wrong things.

People with the Autism Spectrum condition face difficulties that affect their disabilities in different ways. Some people with Autism live independent lives with very little support others 24 hour support but still live in their own homes.

What many people don't understand is there are many disabilities are hidden so people don't think we have as many problems as we have. I have never been diagnosed but my family have read book films on Autism, they have a feeling that I may be. To my knowledge there's only one form of Autism that's a hidden disability but if that's the case I must have some form of Autism.

Some people like me find it hard to explain what we are trying to say. This can cause a lack of communication and understanding. Yet on the bright side one way or the other we are creative people for eg; me with my writing, I also draw and paint.

Through people not understanding you can be misunderstood, this can make you feel unhappy or and even left out of society. This can affect the choices and control people should have over their lives whether they have Autism or not.

Many people with Autism may be affected by sound, taste, smell, light, colours and etc.
People with Aspire Syndrome are often average intelligence. They have very little problem with speech but they may find it harder to understand information.
When it comes to support with money there's never a balance. People are either over crowding you or not there at all.

The world only started learning about Autism in 1943 but its still isn't known now. The figures are roughly there 500,000 families of people with Autism. Research says it more common in boys than girls.

Some Signs of Autism.

Flapping hands, twirling toes, fixed on the same route round our lives, getting upset by change, sensitive to sound, smell, touch and etc, misunderstanding peoples' thoughts, feelings, actions and etc. Not everyone faces the same all problems so it doesn't make them not Autism depending how many of these problems they do face.

can make us more upset if we have different information on one thing off two or even
several different people. Autism is a life time disability and some people even call it a disorder. Most of us with Autism have learning disabilities. We find it hard to social interact, communicate. We find it hard not to let things get to us, which is.

Travelling.

Autism affects a lot people's lives in different ways. It can either depend on what kind Autism people have got but then no two people with the same Autism may face the same problems like all disabilities. Just except the unaccepted.

I find it hard to cope with empty or over crowded people and places. For eg; busy airports with information flashing on and off so fast.

I find my way round better in my home area and town. I guess I find it hard to snap out of change and route because I had been over protected for so many years of my life.Not many people with disabilities such as me can drive so we have to re lie on public transport. I'm lucky than most some people don't know their about and what bus stop to get on and off. There was once a time I was like that, it took me.

Some people miss out on going out at night because they don't their way around, they are scared of crime, bullying and Anti - social behaviour. There isn't enough money for Support workers to come out to support at night and many people can't cope their money. Some these things I have problems with myself but not all. With me it's mainly my money.

Employment.

Most employers don't understand learning disability. Not everyone takes note of the Disability Discrimination Act. It's better than it was but we still have a long way to go. People still having to cope with discrimination.

ears to learn it but better late than never.

We are still a Health & Safety hazard to employers, when isn't enough funding to support us to be healthy and safe.

Here some of the mistakes employers and the government make.

Not enough support for people who can't use computers.

The government spend the money the least important things.

The government is robbing off the poor instead of the rich.

Not enough support to work to time limits and do the job right.

If you work in the LD field you will need to learn about Accessible Information. For eg; Braille and sign language. A lot of people with LD such as me find too much information and jargon hard and confusing.

The government bores me to tears but I'm a learning disability MP for the People's Parliament supported by a Self - Advocacy group called Changing Our Lives. If anyone has any complaints in the learning field to the Members of Parliament. People with LD, families, carers and etc are welcome to email me sarajanegorman@gmail.com. It’s my job to find out what the government in Houses of Parliament are playing at.

Different kinds of Autism.

Autism Spectrum isn't all that different to Aspire Syndrome apart from people with Aspire don't appear to have learning disabilities our disabilities are much hidden. It can take a long time for people to learn and understand Aspire. Spectrum is mostly noticed. For eg; they may have major speech problems whereas people with Aspire may have mild speech problems. Both forms of Autism find it hard to communicate in society, interaction and imagination.
To put a guess on my kind of Autism I think I could be Aspire. I have problems with my hands I find it hard to grip things for eg; opening everyday things like jars and bottles, bad coordination, bad motor skills. This is another hidden disability that hasn't been diagnosed. My Auntie thinks I may have Dyslexia.
In some ways people with LD are our own doctors because we know how our problems affect our everyday lives.

Autism World.
They say we aren't very good with imagination. Nine out ten children with Autism find it hard to play with other children because we aren't as quick as they are and we don't understand the games like they do. How squib do they think we are? Their lose out when we can make up our games quite happily on our own. Just have our dolls, teds and etc, they become people we can communicate with. We make up our own stories so in the end people with Autism aren't alone after all. I think what’s made me enjoy writing short stories and poetry today. If we are taken from our world it affects us badly, it's best to let us move on to our new Autism world in our own time. We are slow learner, we get somewhere in the end but whether it's where we want is a different story. I'm still trying to come out of the Autism world now at the age of 43 nearly 44 years of age it's not easy to get diagnosed yet there was never such thing when I was a baby and child. The strange thing is that I don't whether I like the Autism world or yes and no, you’re alone but no one can answer you back.
The world seems like a mass of people bigger, better and quicker than people with Autism. For most of us there comes a time that we learn to understand the world isn't as big or black and white as it seems, it just takes us a long time to understand that. This is what can make it hard for us to get along with people. Some of very slowly learn to understand people and their feelings rather than just our own. Childhood is the worst time from what I faced to not be aware of others. For some of us for at least roughly mid adulthood we learn to understand there are others around us as well as ourselves.
Yet during childhood you live in a world think you are like other children yet not understanding why you are learning slower than other children yet you are still aware learning slowly is most the reason why children may be bullying you. They don't understand why you aren't equal to them because you can't do things at the same speed as them but when you think about as a child you don't understand it either. This is why you think you should be like other children and why shouldn't you being? In the end it's the way life is that causes so much misunderstanding through no ones fault.

It can take people themselves a long time to come terms to understand they have learning disabilities and they learn slower than other people and with the right support skills can be achieved.

Up date 14th May 2013.

Sara Revealed

Sunday 17 March 2013

Up date of Anxiety, epilespy and depression.

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