Monday 11 March 2024

Story outline. Chapter title page Jealousy

Chapter goal, How did Billy Drake get the gun? No one knows. Why did he have a gun? 

Alan was trying to get his wife Louise so he makes out he wants her back but did he want her back or was he trying to cover his own guilt to the way he treated her? So Louise thought.

Like many of us, love has been blind but does she see the light at the end of the tunnel? 


 Louise had gone from the LongBeach hotel, New York? 2000 Chapter conflict. 

Alan makes out he doesn’t know and what had happened to her, but does he? 

Alan with his best mate Billy Blake so he thought ? Does Billy take or try to take advantage of Louise? Characters Louise Blake Green, Alan Blake, children Anna Maria and Rye Blake and Billy Drake, maybe more will be created. No point of view yet. Conflict like, love and hate relationships. 

Hook unanswered questions Climax secrets, lies and more.


 Where did the guns, drugs and money come from? Thursday afternoon, It had all started off a lovely weekend in LongBeach, Long Ireland New York. Despite of  the thunderstorm in Manhattan, it had been a crazy morning rushing through the rain to the train, with a loud sound horn as the streams smoke drew out as the train set out to Long Beach, which the family only just made.


 Alan had bought the train tickets online on his iPhone seven. 


12.25pm, to LongBeach, standing at platform nine”.


 As the family got off the train, after an hour of traveling. The sun was shining, great start of the weekend Louise, Alan, Anna Maria and Rye Blake were talking a bank holiday 4th July 2000.


 Mainly Louise as she was a child nurse working very long hours. Although’ Louise loved her job.

 

 Her 

children looked up to her. 

Anne Maria was five and Rye was seven.  


The children Anna Maria and Rye were so looking forward to the beach. The sound of seagulls, blue sky, white clouds, yellow smiling sunshine and the smell of the clean deep blue sea, as the headed right on the beach with their bucket and spade building sandcastles, everything was fine until. On the evening of July the 4th, Louise and Alan put the children to bed. 


They poured themselves some drinks, Louise was drinking white wine and Alan was drinking  Fosters larger. As time went on drinks increased, though the night.

 It was 5.00am, on the  Sunday 5th July 200, as Alan woke up with a very shocking hangover. It was very hot, sweat was pumping out of him, it was 30c in temperature. His blond spiky hair was sticky as glue as if, he stuck gel on his hair the day before. He rolled over gripping his sheet to find Louise had gone, which was a great where he didn’t know where he was. 


He was very angry and confused but should have been? He had no memory of what happened the night before or any other time. He was out of his mind anyway. 


All Louise’s and children’s things had gone, also the key to the children’s room in the hotel. He called 125. 

“Hello, Maureen Lewis speaking”. 


“Hi, it is Alan Blake, I’m calling from room 750, please can you check the cctv camera to see if a lady left the hotel earlier, she’s 5 foot 3 and light brown hair, her name is Louise and she is my wife”? “Of course sir but she could be anyone”. 


“How dare you, my wife is not just anyone”. “ calm down sir, I don’t know who she is”.

 “Sorry Maureen of course not, I have no idea why she’s gone that’s all, I’m in shock, it’s not like her to disappear unexpected.”

 “ sorry sir, I know you know her I don’t but I will do my best help the best I can”. 

“Okay, madam”. 

“ Can you please come down into reception and I will check the camera and you can see for yourself”.

 “ Of course, I will be down in a few minute, I’m just finishing off getting ready”. 

“Okay sir, no rush, bye for now”. 

As Alan rudely slams the phone on the poor woman.

 He took the lift to reception, as two young people entered. Slim blonde hair lady about seventeen named Julie and a young guy, very short jet black hair, about 5.10, skinny and about twenty - one years of age, named David. “ which floor, guys”? 

“ Number four”. 

Replied Julie Julie didn’t feel happy been around Alan, she didn’t like the tone of his attitude but she did well to keep her cool.

 Young David could sense danger too but he felt as if there were too many cameras in the building for him to react. Alan presses four than zero for ground floor. 

On they went, then him. He was doing his best to keep his cool in the hotel as he was bitting his time. 


Alan didn’t have the best of patience when waiting in line, he was getting more anxious as time went on.

 “ How much longer guys, it’s like waiting for Christmas here”. “ patient, sir, everyone will get seen”. 

When it came to Alan’s turn. “Okay, how can I help sir”? “ I called about half an hour ago, from my room, raising concerns about my wife and children”.


 “ Oh yes sir, I am not being mean but if she isn’t with you she’s not in the hotel”.

 “How can you prove that”?

 “ Was she sharing a room with you”?


 “First of all Miss or Mrs Maureen, you haven’t answered my question and secondly, of course she shared room with me until, I woke up this morning to find she had gone so check the f**king camera”!


 “Calm down sir, otherwise I won’t”. 

His face went red. 

“ She could be in or out the hotel, Maureen”. 

“Maybe, do you want someone to check the whole hotel, sir”? 

“ yes but first of all let’s check the cameras”. 

“Okay, sir”. Maureen checked the camera, as she showed Alan to try and put his mind at rest. 


She could see anger in his eyes as she peered over her brown glasses with her fussy hair. 

She could that Alan wasn’t a guy to win with so it was easier to follow with what he wanted. 


He was still rather drunk and hungover but he didn’t care who he upset, he wanted answers about his wife and children but did he care as much as he made out? 

It showed a lady leaving, how Alan explained, with two young children. It was unknown where they we’re going, what they were doing, what’s happened?


 Whether the couple were cheating on one another, one cheating on the other, she may have been murdered, kidnapped, rapped, one, some or even all of those reasons. 

Also, what happened to the children as well as Louise. 


“Is this your wife and children, Alan”? 

Alan looked very closely. “It looks like them”. 


“She left at 6 am, this morning as the hotel opened”. 

As Alan left the hotel, he drove his ford sierra car light blue to his best friend, Billy Drake’s house in Beverly Way. 

Reg AB2000.


He was wrongly drinking and driving as the thoughts in his mind was raising miles to the dozen.

 He even parked on a dead end street at the corner of Beverly way as he walked down to Billy’s house.

 He knocked the door, no reply as Billy was at work but Billy’s boasting terrific dog Buck barked, woofed and howled as he opens his month as if the dog was catching flies. Alan opened the door with the spare key Billy gave him. 


“ Shut the f**k up Buck”! It started to rain with thunder again, as Alan entered the house, walked into the kitchen. Now why was he at Billy’s for. A gun, why? 

In hopes of finding whoever may have or and killed his wife if anyone has. 


Where did Billy get the gun from? At the moment that is unknown. Alan finds the gun in the kitchen draw. 


“ What is he doing with my gun?” “ Why has Billy got a gun and where did he get it from?”


 Alan Locked Billy’s house and rushes through the thundering storm rain, none stop driving, where does he end up, who does he cross and more. 

Suddenly Alan pulls into a lay-buy to try and then he gets a message saying.This phone number is not recognized. 


He sent her an email,  then looks on facebook but she wasn’t  on his Facebook anymore,  she had blocked him or had she left Facebook.


 He tried to ask people she knew but they said she had not told them either way, no one knows if she was told the truth or not.

Had she told them to not tell him not to tell anyone  anything?

Does he get in touch with the police, if so what becomes of that?

 He probably does get in touch with the police, if so when? 

Whether does or not, is he in trouble if so what and when?

 Also, many more questions and answers we need to know.

 Did Louise take her own life or and children’s?

Characters’ point of view.


Louise’s point of view.

“ Hi my name is Louise Blake Green, I had enough of my marriage, I am thirty now and I have known Alan since I was eleven and married him when  I was eighteen.”

 Alan has always bragged and tried to impress  people show off etc.

 saying that he says he’s got this and that,  the other when most of it he hasn’t.

 In the early years I  was foolishly  to-believe in him but now it’s got to point I can only take so much, meaning now is the time enough is enough, I can take  no more, this is the end draw, the curtain call.


I have took my children and we are out his life. 

Naturally Anna Maria and Rye are curious to why their Father is not their lives, I will never stop them from seeing him, I have told them that but I have also told them that things have not been good for a long time between him and me. 


I told them I will tell them why when they are old enough to understand. 


As if they don’t the reason as they have heard me and Alan row many a times. The way he’s been acting the last few years has been rather strange, as he does not  pay any attention, avoiding me etc unless he was drunk, non stop texting, receiving texts back whenever we are the same room together.

It’s like he wants me, then he doesn’t want me, sounds like he doesn’t know who and what he wants so I am answering for him. I am out his life for good apart from our children.


 Not saying I’m right but it’s his behavior seemed odd, as if he was hiding something from me, he doesn’t love anymore and I can accept that as now I don’t love him like I used to. 

 Thinking about it, what I couldn’t see  it from the start he didn’t love like I thought he did. How blind was I, he used me all these years?

 Also, when I was trying to talk to him, he wasn’t responding to me, I may as well be not be in his life. 

I don’t think even he’s bothered I have gone but I bet he misses our kids.

 Maybe I was selfish taking them but no matter what me and Alan think of each other we both love the kids very much.


I hadn’t comforted Alan because of the children, I hadn’t said a word to how angry I feel. Maybe I am wrong but  for the last year or two his behavior has changed for the worse towards me. I handy seas him and when I did he pays no attention or interest to me. He’s still the same and great with the children and I have no problem with that.






The text message, the truth

Why was I hoping that everything is alright between us when it's not?


Why was I bothering with you?


Why didn’t he like me, when I love you in a text message?

He didn’t love me, even when he said he did.


Why did he act  so strangely are you up to something?


Why was he sending and getting texts every five minutes?


Why did I feel this way about you?


Why didn’t I just walk out on you what you are putting me through?


Do he want me to feel this way about him?


All I know is that I was so foolish still being in love with you.


I don't know why I love him but I did but no more


He didn’t love me anymore but I was too blind to see.

He didn’t want me to walk away from him either because when I  finally walked away he wanted me back, I never went back or looked back.


When I asked him if he loved me, he never gave me a straight answer, he kept on  changing his mind but like a fool I put up with it till I couldn’t stand anymore.

I said to him. 


“Don't mess me around in and out of a text message!”


“It most likely cost too much to say you love me in a text but you send enough texts out and get many back in a short amount of time.”


Nothing I said and did was right in his opinion.


“Oh, I am sorry I have said the wrong thing yet again.”


There was no pleasing but he was never like this in the early years.


As the years went on he knew I loved him more so he played with my feelings and emotions.


I had a good mind to send this poem to him in a text but I didn’t want to encourage us to fall out again.


He could  be such hard work but as mad as it sounds like a fool I loved him for many  years. September 2007 - March 2024 






Hi my name is Billy Drake, me and Alan are best friends, we went to school together. Alan has always been hard to understand.

 I think the reason why Louise left his life is because he never really wanted her when she was there, he was always blaming her things, nothing was ever his fault and she couldn’t do anything right as far as he was concerned. 

For years he was wanting her out his life and cheating behind her back but now that she’s gone he wants her back his life. 

“By the way Alan why have you stolen my gun”?


 I know why he’s stole my gun he wants to blame every man who crosses his path for going off with his wife but oh yes it’s okay for him to go off with other women, not her with other men. He’s such a dark horse is Alan.

 What he doesn’t know I fancy Louise like crazy but she doesn’t fancy me and I have never let on or laid a finger on her.

The truth is as far as I know, I don’t think she has gone off with another man but wouldn’t be surprised if he’s gone off with another woman. 













 I want  you to trust  me, Alan, he should  be my best mate I went  to school with but I’m sure can trust me but can I trust him in like I want be in him.

He wants to know why I stole his gun, well I will tell you what. 

“ How did he get the gun in the first place”? I don’t know where his wife is and why Louise left him”

Has she cheated, has he cheated  or both was she murdered, raped, anything else negative, some and all of those things?

 I want to know.


Alan is just messing around to blame me and Louise for things but all the same he’s drove her and children away and I hope they are all safe wherever they are. 


I’m concerned about the safety of Louise and the children but if she has walked out on Alan, I hate  to say this as much as he’s my friend, I can’t say I blame her. She’s never said anything to me, guess she fears I will tell him what she maybe facing, feeling etc because of me and him having known one another since childhood. If anything I would comfort him. 


As a friend I guess, I should tell Louise, it is okay tell me things. If I am honest, I have always had the feeling, she hasn’t had the easiest marriage with him but the fact she’s not spoke about to me, I haven’t raised my concern in case I was wrong.


 On the other hand, I may not see her again either. I guess if she decides to file for divorce, she or and a lawyer may be in touch with him but then if I know Louise she won’t have any intentions of trying to stop him from seeing his children.


The truth is Alan doesn’t know who and what he wants and women who fall in love with him get hurt. I am no angel but he’s never known how to love a woman for them. 



Alan’s point of view.


Hi I am Alan Blake, I want  you to trust  me, Billy Drake, your  my best mate but I’m sure can trust me but can I trust you to believe me? 

He wants to know why I stole his gun, when stole  mine, well I will tell you what. 

“ How did he get the gun in the first place”? I’m angry because I don’t know where my wife is and why Louise left me if she has. I will be calling the police if I see her, him or both in twenty - four hours.

Has she cheated, has he cheated  or both was she murdered, raped, anything else negative, some and all of those things?

 I want to know.


Two people in my life are letting me down to a point, it feels as if everyone I know is letting me down. Most people  are saying : most what I am saying is all in my mind, least it seems like to me.

I bought the gun from a shop in Long Ireland to try and protect my friends and family but I fear my best friend  Billy Drake is going off with my wife Louise Blake.

Yet both of them are accusing me  of cheating on Louise, which is not true.

I don’t want to loose Louise, or Rye and Anna Maria my children. I’m so guttered she walked out on me and took the children, mainly at the hotel, after I spent an arm and a leg on  the weekend break. Yet I don’t understand, everything has seemed fine. 

The kids had a lovely day on the beach yesterday and Louise said nothing about anything bothering her about our marriage and relationship. I admit, even if Louise is cheating, it may not be Billy she’s cheating on me for. I hope it is not Billy, he’s suppose be my best school  friend. 


I’m drinking myself to the ground today, despite of my hangover from last night.


I know Billy is at work, at least I think he is, I found my gun in his kitchen draw at his house but no dead body so it doesn’t proof anything one way or the other. Surely he wouldn’t kill Louise and the children, would he? He better not. I can’t see that he would somehow.


I have my gun back so I ‘m going to look for Billy. I tried calling Billy and Louise, Billy is on answer phone and Louise’s phone number isn’t recognized anymore, how odd. 

Next I checked their Facebooks, Louise’s doesn’t come up on mine anymore, she’s either blocked or she’s left facebook so I checked to see if she was still on Billy’s or not to find she’s still on there. 

Therefore, she’s blocked me not him. Nothing is written on either timelines so maybe they private message one another. That  I will never know, unless I com font him but he may not necessarily  tell me the truth. Yet he hasn’t blocked me from Facebook, most odd.

More than anything I am concerned what has happened to the children, Louise, then Billy.




Monday 4 March 2024

Poetry 2024

 Only you know you.

Only you know how many times in your life, you have laugh, cried inside and out in your life.

Feeling happy, feeling sad, feeling angry, feeling mad.

No one can really be anyone but ourselves, even though most of us would like to be someone else.

The same with me, you and everyone unless we are acting. 

The same with our family, friends and more.

Even the people we know don’t know ourselves like we know ourselves.

Unless we choose to say they don’t know we are thinking, the same with us too. 

No one can read one another’s mind but we can guess.


Never thought I would change.

Never forget how it felt when I was in love with you.

There was no wanting to get away from you, now I don’t want to be anywhere near you.

I never forget how you broke my heart either.

I never thought I’d be happy without you after the amount of years  I was with you.

How wrong I was to think you loved me, when you did not?

How wrong could I be?

I won’t be the first or last to make mistakes.

How blind could I be.

If only I could have seen, you didn’t love me.


The good thing was making me stronger but I didn’t realize at the time.

All your loss but my fault for having loved you when you didn’t love me.

All the same, being without you has made me strong, even though there was a time  I didn’t see that happening when I was with you.

 4.3.2024

 


I’m a cat-bat


I have wings to fly in the sky with the witches, ghosts and more.

Some of us are black, brown, green and more.

We all come out in Halloween, if you know what I mean.

We are scary and mean so we seem.

We bring black of the the winter dark nights from the summer light nights, with the moon and the stars in the sky.

My name is Cat-bat that flies on cold  winter dark nights with a flight.

 


Hello everybody

 




 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 Guessing is not always right.

There are many reasons why we may not tell but may or may not.

For eg; people’s’ reactions to someone’s’ thoughts. 

Sometimes we think some things are better off not being said but we are not always right and sometimes we are.

Depending what it is, which is a reason in itself, which may be other reasons too. 

Whatever it is, do not stuffer, do not struggle until you do not want to be alive anymore but I also understand that not everything makes you feel that way. 

Help is around if you need it, there could be a time you need to open up for yourself or and others around you. 

 

 


Monday 26 February 2024

Cat and mouse poem.

 Cat and owner.


I smell my owner’s dinner, faggots, chips, mushy peas, it smells better than mine, whiskers super meat out the can.

Oh I forgot he has a pint of larger, wonder how that compares to milk lol! 


I said to my owner.


" Your food looks better than mine."


When we had both finished our food, he rushed off to the docs and left me alone but I was okay, I just chilled out on the big black mat.


When he came back, I sat on his lap.


The smell of food from both of them was still around.


He told me to get off his owner's lap as he heard a nose, he looked through the window, shot through the open window as he saw a angry dog with sharp teeth who attacked him.


The owner put his coat, shoes and went to the pub for another pint of larger.

I became very restless while he was out.


so Mr Owner took off his coat and jumper, suddenly he saw me in-the pub with my  fur covered with blood so he took me home and called the vet.


The morning he bought a parrot, who kept on telling him that he had too much beer. Mr Owner put his feet up, he had not shut the cage well enough so he peaking the slippers of Mr Owner's feet while he was a sleep.


He bought the me some fish then put it in a dish so Mr Owner ended up eating fish and chips, so we had pretty much the same to eat.


For  some reason that night time the  I was restless wanting to  goin and out. Mr Owner called me a pain but I kept on hear mice and other cats fighting outside,  dogs barking, I don’t think Mr Owner heard a thing.

That night I got everywhere, on the mat, under the mat, on the chair and sofa, under the chair and sofa.

Here, there and everywhere.

In the boxes, beds, shoes, socks, cupboards, tables, windows ledges, up and down the net curtains and more.


I’m Tom a black cat with a white neck, who lyes on a black mat, what about that?

I dream of meat, fish and cream, if you know what I mean.

I even dream of mice, which are rather nice to eat.

I leave my muddy foot prints on your floor by your door, from the outside garden lawn.



Don’t trap the mice I will eat them for you, including Jerry.



I don’t blame you for not liking mice, even though I like them to eat.

They get in your food, bins and more.

Therefore’ save your cheese not for me or Jerry but for you.

Let me, deal with Jerry lol! 


Saturday 13 January 2024

Poe a tree

 


 




Poet tree

Write each word to a poem on a leaf of a tree, until the leaves fall from the tree, changes color in the Autumn ready for the winter.

Write and type what you have planned from the poem to the paper and tree. 11th January 2024 


I am not anyone 

I am a figure of everyone’s imagination.

I am not here, I am just a handful of dust.

I am a ghost.

I am not a Centre of attention, I do not feel unwanted.

I don’t want to be here and I not hear.

I am not ungrateful to life, I am very grateful to life.

I just feel I don’t want to be here and I don’t know why.

My life is good and bad like everyone’s yet it is hard, even I don’t understand why I feel this way. 


You can have nothing, you can have everything either way is no fault or reason to feel necessary why you may not want to be here.

People who show a happiness a lot are not always necessarily happy.

If anything it is depression, we struggle to snap out of.

Not that the world is all black and white.

Most of us open up, most of us don’t.

Mainly  January, February hits most of us, (sad) seasonal affective disorder. 12th January 2024




Words that mean nothing or  and everything.

 

 The hardest thing to do is not think of wanting to be a writer when you want to be a writer, which is like anything really.

You are only a writer when your work is published, no matter how much and how often you write.

Don’t worry about writing a load of rubbish, you don’t need to publish, you don’t even have to show anyone.

This could be about what you have for breakfast, lunch dinner, tea, supper, even going to the loo, town etc, anything you write is writing practical.

Better ideas will come with time and patience, if you want to achieve keep writing.

I have been writing just over thirty years, I have not achieved yet, I will keep on until my death whether I achieve being a writer or not, it will come like writing lines.

“ I must not talk in class, Miss or Sir”. 13th January 2024


pain gives you strength.

What goes around comes around.

Stubbiness gets no  where in the end.

You have made your bed so lye in it.

You may had hurt me at the time but in the end you did me a favor, you made me a different person I used to be, from weakness to strength.

In the time, you have been out my life, I have realized, I am stronger without you, considering what  you put me through. 

Considering I used to worth-ship the ground  you walked but now I would not give the time of day or night. 13th January 2024





Don’t stay where you’re not wanted.


There is no reason to stay where you are not wanted.

There is no shame or guilt, you should not expect.

It is their loss but your gain because they gave you pain that has made you stronger.

Never fight to love someone who doesn’t love you, even though you love them.

That is easy than done, I know but they are not worth it you are.

Those who hurt you, lie when they say they love you, if they cannot love without hurt, if they love you they will let you go to someone who loves you, who won’t hurt you.

Those who hurt you, keep changing their minds how they feel about you because they can’t admit the truth, which really they don’t love you, they just want a victim of love and hate.

No second chances or more.

Things may be fine for a while but in time goes sour if it has gone sour before, very rare it works out the second time, third, fourth and so on.

Even the right happy couples fall out but some more so than others.

If or when you walk away, they are lost without anyone to upset without a victim of love and hate.

It is not easy leaving someone  you love but if they don’t love you why stay?

If you find the strength to leave, well done you, if you still love them, give yourself time, you will stop feeling love for them, you deserve someone you truly love and who truly loves you. 13th January 2024 


Lions

Nearly roughy  24,000 lions live  in Africa, in a small population.

Weight roughly 30 stone.

Big ears.

Lion cubs are together.

They get water plants.

Eat well and hunt in storms.

 

 



Who thought of poetry?

I have no idea other than the mind can be full of words or nothing at all.

I’m no one special, I am just talking to the world.

Think of me talking to you face to face, feel free to walk away if you are bored with what I say.

 Think of me as a human being just like you because that’s all I am.

I am just talking to in writing to those who want to read and listen to me.

You don’t need to publish me, if do, do it while I am here not when I’m dead.

My work will still be here, I can’t take it with me.

I’m no one special, I am just having a chat with everyone.

You are free to to read, you are free not to.

To think, share your thoughts if you want.

You are free to speak or don’t speak.

If you wish to say anything, say it while I am alive not when I’m dead.

Like us all, I am a short time alive and forever dead. 16th January 2024


Writing and drawing is no art.

It is just pictures of what we see, people we see and places we go.

Photos we take  and pictures we draw and paint.

Words what we write and say.

What, who, why, when, where we create from our minds. 16th January 2024



Life is  unknown.

Our lives are unknown from one minute, one second, one hour, one day, one week to the next.

Enjoy what you can when you can.

We don’t know whether we are doing right or wrong until we do whatever we are doing.

There are times in life, we don’t always have a choice we should not expect to do so.

Whichever way we are turning left, Centre or right.

Life unknown until we try things.

Life can be a journey to places, knowing people, goals and more.

Never except anything, never build hopes up: never say never.

It is easy said than done but try not to chase dreams, wants too much, life might happen positive ways you don’t expect. January 20th 2024 

Music and words.

I have a head full of music, I don’t know how to sing, even a cat’s voice is better than mine.

I can’t play in a band to save my life but I can write words that music players can create into songs, maybe not.

Plug me in I will speak to you not sing, there can be music playing around me to what I say.

Hang on here, I will give you a helping hand.

The future is a positive bright light.

Pour us a drink and tell us what is going through your mind. 20th January 2024



 

 Don’t give up.

There is no perfect life, negative  happen as well as positive.

Not everything can go right because there is no perfect life.

Not  all is good all the time: not all is bad all the time.

Don’t give up, things are easy said than done.

At times the downs can get too much.

It may not seem like it but there is always something to live for.

Every cloud has a sliver lining.  20th January 2024