Once you have a disability, it's there for life. Is it there for a reason, who knows? We don't chose to have a disability. We don't have a say in the mater, it just happens! If we could chose to have a disability, why would we? If you could chose your life from the beginning, would you chose to have a disability? No you wouldn't' why would you? It's not a nice feeling, when you feel as if others are pushing you out of society. You feel like the odd one out and alone in the world. Sometimes we are treated as if we have chosen to have a disability, it's as if we made to feel guilty about having a disability. The choices for people with disabilities can be very few and far in between. Living without not many or any choices doesn't make you feel as if you are an adult. It's as if some people don't want to know us. It has got better for me than it was but I haven't forgotten what it felt like to feel completely useless. If you encourage people with disabilities to think positive about themselves they will do. If you think completely negative about them, they will think bad of themselves, scared to try things, to do things and scared of people full stop. We do not except to be made to be perfect, who is? no one. Balance it, we don't want to be big headed but we don't want to think bad of ourselves either. Mencap want to to encourage people with disabilities think as positive as possible about themselves. All my friends in Our Shout have said including myself, it's took a lot of hard work to think positives about ourselves.
Even animals should have the rights to be treated equally to human beings. It's as if people with disabilities are hard work to society, may be we are but we don't mean to be, like I said we don't chose to be either. It's not nice to be discrimination against what you are and who you are. what choose to be, what don't chose to be, we are all human beings just like you. For : eg some people are alright, others are not but it shouldn't be because one person is black and the other person is white. Over the years I have learned that a lot people don't only turn their heads away from people with disabilities but other races, nationalities, religions and etc are the people who suffer discrimination as well.
During in 70s, when I used be those horrible tablets that didn't make me a nice person, at least in the eyes of society. I was classed as rude, stupid, thick and bad tempered because of my bad behavior problems and disabilities. I wanted to control how I was but I didn't know how to. When I couldn't accept my disability, I used to get angry because I couldn't do things, which was part of my behavior problems. I can't say how many years it has been since I have accepted my disability. I don't have a choice but to accept my disability, just like other people with disabilities. I should think I should accept it my age. I was disliked by people because of how the tablets were affected me. I thought I was going to be that person for the rest of my life. The old Sara has gone and I hope the old Sara doesn't come back, here is the new Sara. As soon as I came off these tablets, I had slowly started to have better control over my own actions. I started to be more aware of my own actions and surroundings. I feel a lot better in myself than I was. I still I wonder if the new Sara is improved 100% or is there a little old Sara still there. Only my family can answer that.
I still worry whether I do and say things that I'm unaware of but other days I feel strong enough not to care what people think. That's the way I have had to get used to my disability. There are people with disabilities who can't accept that they have disabilities, will be Our Shout's job to help people their disabilities. There's quite a good many people who can't accept people with disabilities, it's about time they did. Our Shout are also here to help people without disabilities accept people with disabilities. It should be easy for those who haven't got a disabilities because they don't have disabilities themselves. The hardest things for people without disabilities is understanding people with disabilities. How well can you understand yourselves and people in general? This should give you some ideas on how you understand people with disabilities.
The way you can learn about people with disabilities is by listening to us on how are our lives have been and we are today. Listen when we tell you, what we have to face in our lives! Would you like to live with what we have had to live with in the past? We will go through things that we have have improve and what we think still need improve for the lives of people with disabilities. If not in our life time but people with disabilities who come into the world after us. If only we can say that there are not going to be anymore people with disabilities, then we'd be more happy but then we wouldn't have a job. We have to accept that like we have accept our disability. I have had to get used to been misunderstood, it's part of my life whether I like it or not. For eg I may get misunderstood for the tone of my voice and what I may do, it may well sound rude when I don't intend to hurt any one's feeling.
I understand it's very hard for most non - disabled people to understand people with disabilities, that's why I want to team up with other people with disabilities to educate and train non - disabled people so they understand why we are what are and even who we are. They should look at us as people rather than our disabilities but also be aware of the support we need. It's only fare to treat people with disabilities so we are equal to non - disabled people. We need an equal balance between support and doing things on our own. We need you to support with things we can't do alone. Us as people with disabilities could help one another, what one can't do the other can. Try and think how you would like in your life be like if you were in our shoes! You would need support in the things you would find hard to do, you wouldn't want to be over crowded with people coming in between with what you can cope with. We don't always feel equal to others, we feel as if we are being discriminated by people but not as bad as we used to. Like I said, We are human beings who should have as many rights as possible with the right support to live our lives like everybody else.
For eg I am not saying that I have had to learn my own, that's not true but it has been hard to get the right support from the disability services I have had to go to. From the experience I have had myself, I would like to educate services to provide the best services for people with disabilities as many of their needs as possible. Having said that Our Shout can educate people to support people with the same disabilities ourselves, we understand people like ourselves. Who knows, we could come across difference people with all kinds of disabilities who could educate non - disabled people to support the same kind of disabilities as them, if you understand what I'm saying.
I'd like families and carers to be as happy as they can be with the services for people with disabilities. It's Our Shout's job to educate non - disabled people who work in these services. Mencap think it's very important for non - disabled people learn how to understand people with disabilities, Spend as much time as possible with us, get to know our needs, support us to lead our lives how we want to, which is equal to non - disabled people like you do, treat us like human beings, which we are. We're just a bit slower than you that's all. Give us the freedom when we want freedom. It's great to be cared for but we don't need or want to be wrapped up in cotton wool or another saying is far too over protected. An old fashion saying is let go of the pinafore strings!
Does it ever enter your heads that it could have been you? You could be thinking to yourselves. Why me, what have I done wrong to have a disability? You would have thought about these things, just like we do, Why did this have to happen to me?
How many people would know the answers to these questions, if you don't?
My family had told me about what happened at my birth but there was very little training, education and support for families and carers, let alone for people with disabilities themselves, if any which affected the lives of disabilities. I never knew how to cope with my disability as a child because in those days there wasn't the help for anyone. You just had to live the way it was so did everyone who were responsible for us. I don't think anyone knew what to except of people with disabilities. This is why people with disabilities and non - disabled people misunderstood understood one another. Even now, it's got better but we still have a long way to go to be equal to others. You will never know if you end up going into contact with people with disabilities as job, it could be a hard thing to cope with, if it's a new experience for you. Learn from the people who have and who feel disabilities ourselves, how we have to face life, the support we want and need to be equal to you.
I think I know all there is to know what happened at my birth and how it's affected my life. At least I should think I should, as I have lived with a learning disability for nearly thirty-nine years, which is all my life. There must be plenty of other people like me who may want to give the same message as me to non - disabled people.
Sunday, 6 July 2008
HAVING COPED WITH DISCRIMANATION.
When I used to hear the word normal, it used to go right through me. As years had gone by, I have thought well, what's normal at the end of the day? It was almost as if everything should be right and perfect first time. I have only heard the word main stream, I guess for the last 5 to 10 yrs. Although the word main stream is two words than normal, it doesn't make everyone out to be perfect like the word normal does. I hate confusing things but it's hard to know what words to use, whether to use non - disabled people or people without disabilities without being discriminating. Yet I can understand why people find it hard what words us for disabilities without being discriminating.
We all make mistakes in our lives whether we have learning disabilities or not. Some people are just quicker than others, some don't learn at all. In the days that I felt stressed because I was under pressure to do things right the first time, everyone seemed bigger, more clever, better and quicker than me. I had always felt unsuccessful because I started life in a time people found it hard to think positive about themselves when I think back, let alone people with disabilities. I like many people suffer from Anxiety. It's got a bit better than it used to, I accept the things that I can't do and can't cope with in my life, it's just when someone make promises and breaks them, for eg: two difference people say difference things over the same thing I get confused easily. Anxiety's is more common that it used to be, I'm glad I'm not the only one. I never used to understand I was how I was, that's relieved me now. If you or anybody you know suffers for Anxiety with their say, your very welcome to email me if you want, I'd love hear from you.
I guess it's only been the last 15 -10 yrs, I have worked hard to think positive about myself, which hasn't been easy. Since I have started Mencap I have got a lot better in my self-steam quite quickly really for me but just the same for everyone in life, I still have long way to go, which never stops. I'm glad to say now that I have learned more skills over the years there's light at the end of the tunnel after all. I hope that I can help others like me to think more positive about themselves.
Over the years I have learned that I am just a bit of a slow learner, I'm not thick after all. It's as if society thought I was useless and too much hard work for them to teach me about life. We need to learn at our own speed otherwise we get stressed out and we feel left out to others. I understand every human being suffers with Anxiety but 9 times out of ten people with disabilities stuffer with health problems. Having said too much Anxiety can make anyone ill or and bring health problems on whether you have a disability or not. It would be very helpful if people would have more patience with people with disabilities, we understand, well at least I do that you haven't got all day but tomorrow another day or whenever is another day. If that's not possible, then I am sorry to say that word again, we need to get the right support and the amount of support that's right for each of us as possible.
I can truly say that I have learned more since I have left school than when I was there. I was glad to leave school, I hated it. That's not any difference for a lot of non - disabled people at the end of the day. With the skills I have learned I have proved myself and others wrong. When I was a child, I thought I'd stay a child forever needing twenty - four hour care for the rest of my life. I could never see adulthood, now I am starting to feel like an adult . Now I am living alone in a flat with a bit of family support. Difference people need difference levels of support.
This is why I have said to a lot of people, everyone with a disabilities needs their needs to be assessed, otherwise it's hard to know what support they need. For eg I have found that I have had my needs assessed at college, support I need in my home but not whenever I have been on work placement. We should be assessed in practical and theory, not just ticking things off on pieces of paper. All people with disabilities should be able to show people what we can and can't do. talk about what does and doesn't working on and write it down. Support people with disabilities in the area they need support in. We also need to find out what people with disabilities enjoy, which is like everyone the things that they are good at. This will help us and help you learn about people with disabilities. It would help us as service users who form Mencap who have disabilities ourselves. I'm a serve User with a disability from Mencap too. People with disabilities need more confidence building in difference skills, which really isn't any difference to non - disabled people too .
We must think and see positive in people with disabilities, then I believe they will think and see positive of themselves and in you as well. If you think and see negative, they will think negative of themselves and you. They won't be doing anything, if people look down on them, they will think it's a crime to make mistakes, which put them off. I believe everyone is worth more than looking and feeling like a spare part. All we need is support, we aren't useless. We just may not be as quick to learn than others. Each and everyone of us learn in all difference, levels, ways and speeds. If we were all the same, wouldn't it be a boring world? Some people need more support than others. Never look over people with disabilities but be there for them in case they need your support. Don't turn away from them in case they need you. Give some way they can contact you in case they need you, mainly if they don't have anyone else to turn to. I can go on a while until I see my family but they are always at the end of phone.
That's how I would like to support others like me. Like yourselves really, what one of us can't do the other can.
We all make mistakes in our lives whether we have learning disabilities or not. Some people are just quicker than others, some don't learn at all. In the days that I felt stressed because I was under pressure to do things right the first time, everyone seemed bigger, more clever, better and quicker than me. I had always felt unsuccessful because I started life in a time people found it hard to think positive about themselves when I think back, let alone people with disabilities. I like many people suffer from Anxiety. It's got a bit better than it used to, I accept the things that I can't do and can't cope with in my life, it's just when someone make promises and breaks them, for eg: two difference people say difference things over the same thing I get confused easily. Anxiety's is more common that it used to be, I'm glad I'm not the only one. I never used to understand I was how I was, that's relieved me now. If you or anybody you know suffers for Anxiety with their say, your very welcome to email me if you want, I'd love hear from you.
I guess it's only been the last 15 -10 yrs, I have worked hard to think positive about myself, which hasn't been easy. Since I have started Mencap I have got a lot better in my self-steam quite quickly really for me but just the same for everyone in life, I still have long way to go, which never stops. I'm glad to say now that I have learned more skills over the years there's light at the end of the tunnel after all. I hope that I can help others like me to think more positive about themselves.
Over the years I have learned that I am just a bit of a slow learner, I'm not thick after all. It's as if society thought I was useless and too much hard work for them to teach me about life. We need to learn at our own speed otherwise we get stressed out and we feel left out to others. I understand every human being suffers with Anxiety but 9 times out of ten people with disabilities stuffer with health problems. Having said too much Anxiety can make anyone ill or and bring health problems on whether you have a disability or not. It would be very helpful if people would have more patience with people with disabilities, we understand, well at least I do that you haven't got all day but tomorrow another day or whenever is another day. If that's not possible, then I am sorry to say that word again, we need to get the right support and the amount of support that's right for each of us as possible.
I can truly say that I have learned more since I have left school than when I was there. I was glad to leave school, I hated it. That's not any difference for a lot of non - disabled people at the end of the day. With the skills I have learned I have proved myself and others wrong. When I was a child, I thought I'd stay a child forever needing twenty - four hour care for the rest of my life. I could never see adulthood, now I am starting to feel like an adult . Now I am living alone in a flat with a bit of family support. Difference people need difference levels of support.
This is why I have said to a lot of people, everyone with a disabilities needs their needs to be assessed, otherwise it's hard to know what support they need. For eg I have found that I have had my needs assessed at college, support I need in my home but not whenever I have been on work placement. We should be assessed in practical and theory, not just ticking things off on pieces of paper. All people with disabilities should be able to show people what we can and can't do. talk about what does and doesn't working on and write it down. Support people with disabilities in the area they need support in. We also need to find out what people with disabilities enjoy, which is like everyone the things that they are good at. This will help us and help you learn about people with disabilities. It would help us as service users who form Mencap who have disabilities ourselves. I'm a serve User with a disability from Mencap too. People with disabilities need more confidence building in difference skills, which really isn't any difference to non - disabled people too .
We must think and see positive in people with disabilities, then I believe they will think and see positive of themselves and in you as well. If you think and see negative, they will think negative of themselves and you. They won't be doing anything, if people look down on them, they will think it's a crime to make mistakes, which put them off. I believe everyone is worth more than looking and feeling like a spare part. All we need is support, we aren't useless. We just may not be as quick to learn than others. Each and everyone of us learn in all difference, levels, ways and speeds. If we were all the same, wouldn't it be a boring world? Some people need more support than others. Never look over people with disabilities but be there for them in case they need your support. Don't turn away from them in case they need you. Give some way they can contact you in case they need you, mainly if they don't have anyone else to turn to. I can go on a while until I see my family but they are always at the end of phone.
That's how I would like to support others like me. Like yourselves really, what one of us can't do the other can.
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