You are more than welcome to what you want to say or write.
It makes no difference if what's on your mind is happy or say.
Just bring out anything you want to say or write.
Everyone likes to keep most things private no one is force to say or write.
The choice is yours on how you open your world and mind on what you say or write.
How people communicate with you is depending on what subject you say or write.
Some people don't communicate at all.
Please speak and write your mind.
Don't speak or write your mind if you don't want to. 24.7.2011
Mark David Chapman.
What was on your Mind to commit such a crime to the famous Beatles, old, too young to leave earth he gave his fans such good times?
You may not be able to mend what's been broken?
Saying sorry may not mend the damage.
You have already long sent John Lennon up to heaven.
Do you believe in Jesus Christ?
Do you believe that Christ will come back to life?
Do you believe John Lennon was or could have been Jesus Christ just like he wanted to be?
The answers to these questions are very unknown.
Do you believe that there will be peace on earth as well as there may be in heaven?
I was eleven when my old school teacher Mr Stroll told me and many others in class that John Lennon has gone to heaven, I still hear Mr Stroll telling us 31 years on now.
Do you believe that Christ will come back to life, even so you shouldn't have done what you have done?13.8.2011
Nothing lasts forever.
Nothing lasts forever but I have fallen for you.
You may not be always in my life but you will be always on my mind.
It isn't all about my feelings, it's about your feelings too.
The same way love always end, you may well leave me some day.
I will never give up on love.
No one knows unless they try, never build ones hopes up but never say never.
One's luck may not be the same as it has already been.
Life is very unknown, if we knew everything there would be no surprises or shocks. 13.8.2011
We should all control our minds.
We should all control our minds then there wouldn't be so much crime.
No reason is a reason to kill.
There's no perfect world out there, we all disagree with what one another do and say sometimes if not all of the time.
We say about children and teenagers been unkind to one another so can adults.
If we really can't cope with what we hear or see or even both in many cases can be, then just walk away.
Help is better out there than it used to be, now there's counselling out there, there never used to be any help at all but we still have a long way to go.
Just because Yoko Ono is Japanese, Mark David Chapman killed John Lennon many years to the day of Pearl Habela which the Japanese turned against the Americans on the 8th December.
No one can like everyone but hate is a very strong word.
14th August 2011
The world is a strange place.
The world is a strange like you and me, it has good and bad.
How we face the world isn't the same.
Life is what we make it.
We are the people who live in this world.
The world isn't the problem it's us in it.
The main thing is is how we are to one another.
There are a lot of thought we need to keep to ourselves.
At times it all gets too much.
No one is going to help us unless we help ourselves.
We need to find ways of not letting the bad in life play with our minds.
We must think about good things in life.
Clear the bad things out of our minds.
The good may be hard to think about.
For me writing poetry helps me get on with my life by writing all my thoughts down on paper out my mind.
Drawing, painting and exercise biking riding is also very good cure for me.
Anxiety isn't the only reason for doing these things, enjoyment comes into it too.
14th August 2011
Every day.
I miss you every day.
My world is empty without you.
Nothing seems to change but I accept it because I think so much of you.
I don't think I will ever give on you unless you give up me.
When the sun shines it doesn't shine unless I'm with you.
There's not a moment that I'm not wishing I was with you.
Holding me all night until the morning light.
The good may be hard to think about with the very little time we spend together.
Hopefully that little time we get together will help us to be together longer than if we spent a lot of time together.
I will just do my best to clear the bad out of my mind by writing poetry.
I never know when to text or call in case I contact you at the wrong moment.
However long or short our time together is better than nothing at all. 18.8.2011
Wem please sounds like Wembley.
I have never written a poem, short story, novel or play on the train.
I was travelling from Newtown Powys Wales in the mid to late 80s.
My memory has been that many a times through my life I caught the wrong well almost the wrong train.
Once I nearly went to Wembley when I should have gone to Wem.
The ticket collector said
" Off to Wembley."
"No, I'm off to Wem."
He laughed but I was only 17 and scared.
I was just in a world of my own still relieving on the rest of the world.
"No worries, you can get off at Sherwbucy." he said
" Who ordered the ticket?" he asked
" My tutor." I said
I tried to work out what must have happened, I thought about it.
A lot of people on the train stared at me as if I was mad as I started to laugh.
Wem please sounds like Wembley.
When got off the train to meet my Mother Shrewbucy, she said.
" I've been waiting half an hour for you at Wem station.
When I told her the reason her feelings were mixed with worrying about me and the funny side of Wem been mistaken for Wembley. 18.8.2011
Your worth the wait.
I feel love for you.
I need your love even more than plants, flowers and trees need the sun and the rain.
This love will never die until I die however long I wait.
If I'm wrong I can be right all the time.
I'd rather miss you than lose you but I can't except your feelings to be the same as mine all the time.
You may leave me some day, then I will have to move on from the light to the day.
If things change for you and me, if ever there's going be another he, he will have to spent more time missing me than kissing me. 18.8.2011
I will never again chase love.
Love will have to come to me if ever again it's to be.
I never looked for you, you found me.
If it doesn't work out for us the next love will be very close friends you and me are or where.
Who knows what the future will be.
Take life day by day.
Don't build one's hopes up: never say never.
Wait and see. 18.8.2011
Open up your mind.
If you feel as if something should be said then say it.
Don't be scared, don't be shy just open your mind.
Some people feels as if they don't want to talk about sad thing but they feel as they need to.
Please give their own time when things are to talk that they want or and need to said mainly when it's sad things.
Some things are hard to talk about but better off not talking about in a lot of people's minds. 19.8.2011
Fits Epilepsy.
Why have I not been well for twelve months or so?
What's wrong with me?
My body is like a moving machine as I get shock in my knees and legs.
I start shaking as I get a headache.
Fits feel like storms through my head.
Water is fusing inside my head.
All my muscles go very tense which is caused by stress.
My brain gives me a message to my body.
I feel and go dizzy through a lack of food and drink.
My head is aching as if someone has put a bomb inside it. I have been feeling sick, dizzy, shaky and my head feels heavy.
Flashing lights are worse and when the sun gets in my eyes.
When opening my eyes it's like my eyes flicker at anything flashing as if I'm going blind.
Loud knocking sounds and fire works make me jump out my skin and scars me to death, mainly on Bonfire night.
Many different sounds can bring on a fit.
Time to lye down, let the fit stop in it's own time as I sleep it off.
In the mean time it feels like wires are going through my head.
Fuses are blowing everywhere like the wind and the rain coming together the same as thundering and lighting. 26.5.2002 -2.6.2012
Sunday, 24 July 2011
Monday, 6 June 2011
Chapter seven supporting learning disability.
United States seems to work faster than Britain with supporting learning disability because United State is a bigger country than Britain. The thing that isn't helping us now is the cutbacks. We try to better the support then there's not enough money to support learning disability. The wrong thing the government doing is talking money off people who need it most. The government spends the money on the wrong things. This can take away people's choice, control and rights a over their own lives.
This is where Learning Disability Awareness training comes into helping professions learn to understand learning disability in all areas of life.
For example of all things; there are some people with LD in work but not many and not many people have jobs that interest them. Having something is better than having nothing but even better is people having the jobs that interests them. In this credit crunch today anyone is better have a job at all when there's at least over 200million may be a lot more or less unemployed people.
Getting along with people is a hard thing to do when you have LD anyway mainly when you have Autism because of a lack of communication and understanding. To not enjoy the job is bad but to not get along with anyone in the work placement is even worse. In the eyes of many employers people with LD are a Health and Safety Hazard, we can't do a job good enough and quick enough for them, we can't get buses until 9.30am because of our disabled passes or we cost them money to claim back, we can only work part time because of our benefits but we can only earn so much money on top of our benefits so that gives them less money to pay out to us. Never the less we still seem like hard work for many of them to employ. This is where money is needed to support people so the government need to be careful what they are spending the money on. There has been talk about direct and indirect payments, whether that is set for those in work I don't know. How the idea I heard it should work is for people to earn enough money to pay for their services as well as enough to live on, I may be wrong.
This is where Learning Disability Awareness training comes into helping professions learn to understand learning disability in all areas of life.
For example of all things; there are some people with LD in work but not many and not many people have jobs that interest them. Having something is better than having nothing but even better is people having the jobs that interests them. In this credit crunch today anyone is better have a job at all when there's at least over 200million may be a lot more or less unemployed people.
Getting along with people is a hard thing to do when you have LD anyway mainly when you have Autism because of a lack of communication and understanding. To not enjoy the job is bad but to not get along with anyone in the work placement is even worse. In the eyes of many employers people with LD are a Health and Safety Hazard, we can't do a job good enough and quick enough for them, we can't get buses until 9.30am because of our disabled passes or we cost them money to claim back, we can only work part time because of our benefits but we can only earn so much money on top of our benefits so that gives them less money to pay out to us. Never the less we still seem like hard work for many of them to employ. This is where money is needed to support people so the government need to be careful what they are spending the money on. There has been talk about direct and indirect payments, whether that is set for those in work I don't know. How the idea I heard it should work is for people to earn enough money to pay for their services as well as enough to live on, I may be wrong.
Sunday, 15 May 2011
Chapter one Introducing Learning Disability and Autism.
My name is Sara Jane Gorman.I used to be a Learning Disability Awareness trainer and Self - Advocacy worker for Our Shout supported by Royal Wolverhampton Mencap. I am a experienced consultant in the field of learning disability and I have given presentations to professionals locally and regionally. I have given my training to Health students at the University of Wolverhampton, School of Nursing and the Health care professions at New cross hospital Wolverhampton.
I started off writing when I was stopping at my Grandmother's house in Wolverhampton in 1993. I was recovering from Cancer of the throat. I was watching the news Trevor McDonald told the world about the Council homes closing down, which worried me a lot. I felt so strong about the topic, I started thinking about Charles Dickens writing about orphans and people worse off than myself. I stated with my life story and stories, I have had a few reports published in the odd newsletters and a poem published in each of 11 books. The problem was that the publishers Poetry Now! weren't paying me I was spending a lot of money on their books. I haven't had any support since to find a publisher for my work. I plan has always to raise half of what earn of my writing for charity but it hasn't happened. I mean this help animals as well as human
I am a keen writer, in 2008 I wrote and Co - produced a play to highlight the difficulties people with learning disabilities have accessing employment.
March 2009, I went a Sci rt and Screen course to better my writing. Now hopefully this course will pay off for me writing this book. Just before Christmas 2009, I helped Mencap set up a Disabled Writer's group. December 2010, I helped out with an art project at Penn hall special school by helping the children creative their own Superhero.
For a very short time I had my own little business, which was handy a business. It was called Access All Areas Now! I shared with someone else with a learning disability, we we both Learning Disability Awareness trainers. We started off been Supported by Mencap then Employment pathways. In the end there was very little money due to the cutbacks to support us to keep the business going. In that time we only achieved a great deal of work our Pilot scheme and only earned £80.00. We couldn't earn a great anyway due to the benefits that we are on.
This book isn't just writer about me but for readers who have learning disabilities, families, carers, friends, lovers, professionals and etc. This book isn't only about Autism and learning disability but it's also about my life story, which is all linked together to help and educate people on learning disability but mostly Autism.
The purpose of this book is to train and educate society to treat people with LD and Mental problems equal to other people. To learn how balance support with indepences.
This book is about the rights of speaking for people with LD and Mp problems.
http://vaccine-injury.info/
I started off writing when I was stopping at my Grandmother's house in Wolverhampton in 1993. I was recovering from Cancer of the throat. I was watching the news Trevor McDonald told the world about the Council homes closing down, which worried me a lot. I felt so strong about the topic, I started thinking about Charles Dickens writing about orphans and people worse off than myself. I stated with my life story and stories, I have had a few reports published in the odd newsletters and a poem published in each of 11 books. The problem was that the publishers Poetry Now! weren't paying me I was spending a lot of money on their books. I haven't had any support since to find a publisher for my work. I plan has always to raise half of what earn of my writing for charity but it hasn't happened. I mean this help animals as well as human
I am a keen writer, in 2008 I wrote and Co - produced a play to highlight the difficulties people with learning disabilities have accessing employment.
March 2009, I went a Sci rt and Screen course to better my writing. Now hopefully this course will pay off for me writing this book. Just before Christmas 2009, I helped Mencap set up a Disabled Writer's group. December 2010, I helped out with an art project at Penn hall special school by helping the children creative their own Superhero.
For a very short time I had my own little business, which was handy a business. It was called Access All Areas Now! I shared with someone else with a learning disability, we we both Learning Disability Awareness trainers. We started off been Supported by Mencap then Employment pathways. In the end there was very little money due to the cutbacks to support us to keep the business going. In that time we only achieved a great deal of work our Pilot scheme and only earned £80.00. We couldn't earn a great anyway due to the benefits that we are on.
This book isn't just writer about me but for readers who have learning disabilities, families, carers, friends, lovers, professionals and etc. This book isn't only about Autism and learning disability but it's also about my life story, which is all linked together to help and educate people on learning disability but mostly Autism.
The purpose of this book is to train and educate society to treat people with LD and Mental problems equal to other people. To learn how balance support with indepences.
This book is about the rights of speaking for people with LD and Mp problems.
http://vaccine-injury.info/
Saturday, 23 April 2011
Chapter two History of learning disability
Before the 1980s, most people with learning disabilities with all levels lived in long stay hospitals or institutions, now many of them are closed down. We had very little or no choice and control at all.We were either stuck in where they were or
they were lucky if a member of staff took us. We couldn't go out alone or together without staff. We didn't learn anything because of us been slow learners, no one gave us any confidence to do anyhting. We were treated unequal to other people. The staff didn't have the time of day we us. We were seen as a danger to society.
Today in everything, things are better than they were but we still have a long way to go.
For example; most people with mild disabilities like myself get by living alone with a little family support, even that wasn't allowed at one time. It's getting the balance between independence and support.Let us do the things we can do but support us with the things we can't. Today society tries to support people who need different levels of support. Times are pretty at the moment with the credit crunch so a lot services have cutback but people are more educated to what they were but they still have a lot to learn.
We have seen the difference today compared to in the past. We were labelled and treat different to other people when we are human beings just like they are.
We had poor, treated, we were neglected and abused. We were seen as mentally handicapped, sub normal, mentally backward enteral, a menace and burden to society. Society tends to called people without disabilities normal, no one is normal some people are slower than others. Everyone is a human being. These bad things affected people with disabilities lives very badly that they suffered Stress, Anxiety and depression. Many had health problems any for example Epilepsy. We were misunderstood because we were seen as different, strange or and even mad.
I am not saying all people with disabilities faced these things but they were common to happen.
Over the centuries attitudes have been bad but they have now got better.
they were lucky if a member of staff took us. We couldn't go out alone or together without staff. We didn't learn anything because of us been slow learners, no one gave us any confidence to do anyhting. We were treated unequal to other people. The staff didn't have the time of day we us. We were seen as a danger to society.
Today in everything, things are better than they were but we still have a long way to go.
For example; most people with mild disabilities like myself get by living alone with a little family support, even that wasn't allowed at one time. It's getting the balance between independence and support.Let us do the things we can do but support us with the things we can't. Today society tries to support people who need different levels of support. Times are pretty at the moment with the credit crunch so a lot services have cutback but people are more educated to what they were but they still have a lot to learn.
We have seen the difference today compared to in the past. We were labelled and treat different to other people when we are human beings just like they are.
We had poor, treated, we were neglected and abused. We were seen as mentally handicapped, sub normal, mentally backward enteral, a menace and burden to society. Society tends to called people without disabilities normal, no one is normal some people are slower than others. Everyone is a human being. These bad things affected people with disabilities lives very badly that they suffered Stress, Anxiety and depression. Many had health problems any for example Epilepsy. We were misunderstood because we were seen as different, strange or and even mad.
I am not saying all people with disabilities faced these things but they were common to happen.
Over the centuries attitudes have been bad but they have now got better.
Friday, 22 April 2011
Chapter three Family break ups and learning disability.
Evan people with disabilities ourselves understand when we are adults what hard work we are through no fault of our own. This is easy misunderstood. The stress of bring up children can be a strain on relationships but twice as much for couples who have children with learning disabilities. Many couples blame the children for their marriages or and relationship break but the affects and the work learning disability can bring it can damage your life even more.
At the same time it makes the child feel guilty mainly when their parents slipt up. In some cases depending what the break up is over, children are sad see their parents slipt but for other it's relief. In my case my parents slipt before I was born so I have known any different but I didn't see my Dad until I was 21 but I told he saw me when I was just born.
On the bright side learning disability isn't all black and white if or and when the child gets older some people get better as they get older depending on their disabilities but on the whole that becomes slowly in my experience.
What I understand is everyone has the rights to have their life as adults as much as they love their children. Trying to get a balance of seeing it from the adult and child's point a view is hard. Yet no child asks to be born but no child ask to have leaning disabilities. Not that I am saying that children are not planned. This does just apply to just children adults too. Everyone with learning disabilities need some kind of support even other people too. No one gets any younger. May be you have been looking after your grown up child for years, years and years but if child with disabilities is only a baby, you too should have the rights of support if that's what you want. No one wants to make other peoples' lives hard but sometimes one doesn't have a choice. Sadly like most things learning disabilities affect lives.
Saying that the lucky ones like myself with mild disabilities tend to get better as we get even though still have problems so families start to have a bit more freedom. As adults with disabilities want to be to have their own lives because all these years as children they have had to be protect so much which is no different to anyone really.
The amount of times my Mother has said your hard work Sara, the amount of times it's made me feel guilty. As my Mum would say any child is hard work but when they have disabilities the work is even harder. If you are a peron with disability, carer, family member, friend, family friend or and etc please email if you would like a chat, you may want to make a common or and may need support one way or the other. sarajgorman@googlemail.com or Facebook sarajgorman@gmail.com
At the same time it makes the child feel guilty mainly when their parents slipt up. In some cases depending what the break up is over, children are sad see their parents slipt but for other it's relief. In my case my parents slipt before I was born so I have known any different but I didn't see my Dad until I was 21 but I told he saw me when I was just born.
On the bright side learning disability isn't all black and white if or and when the child gets older some people get better as they get older depending on their disabilities but on the whole that becomes slowly in my experience.
What I understand is everyone has the rights to have their life as adults as much as they love their children. Trying to get a balance of seeing it from the adult and child's point a view is hard. Yet no child asks to be born but no child ask to have leaning disabilities. Not that I am saying that children are not planned. This does just apply to just children adults too. Everyone with learning disabilities need some kind of support even other people too. No one gets any younger. May be you have been looking after your grown up child for years, years and years but if child with disabilities is only a baby, you too should have the rights of support if that's what you want. No one wants to make other peoples' lives hard but sometimes one doesn't have a choice. Sadly like most things learning disabilities affect lives.
Saying that the lucky ones like myself with mild disabilities tend to get better as we get even though still have problems so families start to have a bit more freedom. As adults with disabilities want to be to have their own lives because all these years as children they have had to be protect so much which is no different to anyone really.
The amount of times my Mother has said your hard work Sara, the amount of times it's made me feel guilty. As my Mum would say any child is hard work but when they have disabilities the work is even harder. If you are a peron with disability, carer, family member, friend, family friend or and etc please email if you would like a chat, you may want to make a common or and may need support one way or the other. sarajgorman@googlemail.com or Facebook sarajgorman@gmail.com
Sunday, 20 March 2011
Chapter four What is a learning disability?
Learning disabilities are conditions that affect everyday lives in peoples' bodies or and mind. Mental disabilities are to do with the mind and Physical disabilities There are all different kinds of disabilities. Muscular Dystrophies is when a person's body weaken gradually in a limit of time. It seems to be more common in male than female.
Spinia Bifida can happen during pregnancy when the spinia cord (nerves run down the spine.) This can affect peoples' balance, movement, bowel and bladder control. It's a bone and joint deformities what affect peoples' movements. Hydrocephalus is high pres sager to the brain because of the fluid not being drained away.
Cerebral Palsy happens during pregnancy. It's a Mental and Physical disability affecting the body and mind. The brain controls the movement of the body in early stages of growth. Almost like one form of Autism that links with Dyspraxia as a hidden Physical disability. With Cerebral Palsy the damage can happen during birth even though the disability happen before birth or any other brain injuries at a very early age. ( Such as a lack of oxygen to the brain or if a child has been shaken. Children face these difficulties, posture(ability to put the body in a chosen position and keep it there.)
There are more disabilities than I have just written. All disabilities can affect everyday lives one way or the other. For eg; mobility, ability with hands, physical co - coordination or bladder and bowel control, ability to lift and carry, move heavy objects,, remembering things, concentration, learning, understanding and or danger awareness. There's still enough awareness on Dyspaxia yet. It's called Dyspaxia Developmental Co - ordination is when people can only cope doing one thing at a time, which slows people down. I have had this problem all my life I'm nearly 42years but people have only started to learn about it about just over ten years ago.
For eg; people can find it hard to fasten shoe laces and buttons.
Finding it hard to carry a hot joint of meat out the oven and heavy hot pans.
A new born baby can slip ones arms.
Can't skip.
Can't ride a bike.
Can't drive a car.
I haven't been diagnosed Dyspaxia but my Auntie think I have Dyspaxia. Over the past
ten years or so she has come across a few who have the same problems as me. I still
think I need to be diagnosed but I wouldn't be surprised if I am because my Co - ordanation is bad are Motor skills. now I have learned what my own problems could be I would like to help others like me to see they will get more help than me. For eg; seeing that young children better exercise support than what I did. Support aids and seeing that people get the support people need.
My experience of Dyslexia is very often a memory problem for eg; I remember getting bs and ds mixed up I was needing to write the word dog. I suddenly went blank so when wrote the og I know I was wrong because bog didn't look right to me. I rubbed it out to put dog, yet I have stories and poems in my mind. I have always been known for missing words out of sentences and numbers back to front 82 becomes 28, yet I have always found maths very hard. Yet getting numbers back to front and bs and ds the right way round doesn't happen as often now, I still miss words out of sentences and get letters in the wrong places even though I know they are in the word. Sometimes I notice my mistakes other times I don't that's why I need a proof reader.
Hearing, speech, eye sight needs braille and sign language, these disabilities can link into a lot if not all disabilities.
it's like when I said there's different kind of Autism. Sorry to confuse you, Autism is a learning disability. As for how people with disabilities cope with like I said with Autism just except the unaccepted not two people with the same disabilities face the same good and bad in life. Learning disability websites adultprotection.org.uk, WWW.mencap.org.uk and community.care.co.uk. There are many more if you tap in learning disability websites in your search engine.
Mencap say that 1 in 5 people in the uk have learning disabilities. Learning disabilities either start before, during or after birth depending what the disabilities are.
Anxiety Disorder is a kind of Mental illness that causes people to feel worried and stressed whether we have anything to worry about or not. Other than counseling,
exercise and cut down on coffee is the only treatment I'm aware of. Most medications may be on the market but I have been living with it far too long to notice, it just
something you learn to accept if you have been living with it all your life. It's
just hard getting people to accept the way you are as a person as well as a person with learning disabilities.
The causes are unknown, it can either
be on it's own or linked to other disabilities like mine is. There's no limit of
time of long we feel worried and stress for. It can be even harder if it is linked
on to other disabilities because you feel angry not been equal to the rest of society. When you have been living with it all your life you learn to live with it
and you more calmer than you used to be and accept bad things better. We get dryness in our mouths, we feel shaky, tense, fast heart beat and we find it hard to sleep. Just because a person may not face all these things, it doesn't mean they don't stuffer from Anxiety Panic attacks are the main causes of Anxiety.
British men are three times more than likely to take their own lives than British woman.
At least 75% of people in the uk, suffer from depression, I guess that includes people with and without disabilities but I don't know for sure. Only about 3rd of people try to get help. My worry is if people keep on suffering alone they will make themselves ill. Depression affects one in five older people who live in the community, even more care homes.
Stress is the biggest killer of all for everybody maily in today's credit crunch, we are all in the same boat. Bear in mind that stress plays on a lot people's state of mind anyway, which can course Anxiety and depression when people worry too much over things. Some things just won't get out of peoples' minds or it can take a long time. For example; things from relationship and marriage break ups to death even worse paying bills which is more common that ever today. Mencap say People with learning disabilities 58 times likely to die before the age 50 but that's not in the case in everybody. Like I said Stress is a killer for all people but if you have learning disabilities or and health problems on it's own it's double the pressager.
For example; Panic attacks can also bring on Epilepsy but then with my disabilities whatever they are for sure. I was born with lack of oxygen to the brain, which caused me to have fits from birth. When I have stress or I think I have things to worry about I panic but sometimes it brings a fit on other times it doesn't. This can mainly be when I have been misunderstood or and even confused with something like information for eg; some things can make me panic then get me angry and if I get too upset it may bring on my fits, depending what the situation is and how stressful it is to me. I went 20 yrs without having a fit bit during that time I was working at Camnant a living in riding stable in Newtown powys Wales. My Boss Miss Coyne thought I was having Peta Mal fits, which I couldn't understand, I wasn't feeling unwell. She had got the doctor to put me on Tregratol tablets without my families say so. When was 20 I was so depressed with taking them for no reason I over dosed on the lot but lucky enough as you know I pulled through. My family went mad and got the doctor to take me off them. Most medications can make people depressed which are caused by the side-affects.
This is something that doctors should look into because this does not just accept the whose taking the medication but others around mainly if the medication causes the person to have behavior problems for example if someone is Moody a lot. Like I say I have written in many reports advising people to except the unaccepted in all people. That means except anything. Some people seem don't in themselves with medication others without. It's all swings and roundabouts.
Even most good things can be stressful for example; taking exams and waiting for exam results is another example even though on the other hand it could get me through life. I am very keen person if I fail I just keep going but despite of the panic it causes me, which is part of disability, I cope somehow. This can happen in any ones' case not just mine.
When Anxiety links to Autism is when change happens mainly when something can either
shock or even surprise a person. Good change a little bit of time to get used to as well as bad change. Anxiety is the reason why I am writing about Autism again. It
can make us more upset if we have different information on one thing off two or even
several different people. Autism is a life time disability and some people even call it a disorder. Most of us with Autism have learning disabilities. We find it hard to social interact, communicate. We find it hard not to let things get to us, which is
part of our Anxiety. Anxiety also kicks in when a person doesn't feel sure of themselves and the rest the world around them. When something is new whether it's good or bad to friendships/ relationships and or someone has died. For eg; Broken up relationships and deaths can make you feel depressed and as well as angry. Depression can make you feel very low in yourself, lose interest in everything, not wanting to talk to people, a mixer of feeling lonely and wanting to be on ones' own, smoking a lot, drinking a lot, taking drugs, feeling useless and as if the whole world is against you and not wanting to live anymore. Some of us pull out of it, try to help ourselves and get help like counselling for eg; whereas others give up on themselves.
Asperger Syndrome is a foam of Autism in people who have high intelligence but it's also a hidden disability, which means people don't see the problems people have. If
you spend a lot of time with us you will learn that we need more help than you thought. Yet we don't have difficulties in languages. Like expect the unexpected
because these disabilities, illnesses, conditions and disorders can affect different
people in different ways. I have found that I have got better than I used to be since
I have got older but it has been a very slow journey but I don't stop believing in myself and others like me.
Some of us like to spend more time alone, others like people round and some of us can feel like I do a bit of both.
We find it hard to understand people's thoughts and feeling, which may seem selfish but then I am better than I used to be.
We behave in a strange manner without been aware but I have found since I have got older I become more worried and more aware of it knowing off people I've known all
my life have told me.
This can be why we can find hard to make friends but that get better from my experience the more I have been aware of my Autism.
Be also aware of poor eye contract.
Communication Little language, speaking in the same tone, unable to understand meanings of gesture and facial expression, hard to understand jokes, mixing up words like you and I, repeating what they say or and what other people say.
Flapping hands, twirling toes, fixed on the same route round our lives, getting upset by change, sensitive to sound, smell, touch and etc, misunderstanding peoples' thoughts, feelings, actions and etc. Not everyone faces the same all problems so it doesn't make them not Autism depending how many of these problems they do face.
Cause of Autism is unknown yet although in my case it's unknown whether I do
have Autism or not.I guess I'm more than likely Asperger if I am.
I guess just before the 21st century there was a case on the news about the MMR injection to protect Measles/ rubella, what I don't understand how can any learning disability a side - affect in any table, injection or any medicines and ect? If I do have Autism it is caused by what I was born lack of oxygen to the brain so I guess it's possible that MMR causes Autism Spectrum if that's the case.
Spinia Bifida can happen during pregnancy when the spinia cord (nerves run down the spine.) This can affect peoples' balance, movement, bowel and bladder control. It's a bone and joint deformities what affect peoples' movements. Hydrocephalus is high pres sager to the brain because of the fluid not being drained away.
Cerebral Palsy happens during pregnancy. It's a Mental and Physical disability affecting the body and mind. The brain controls the movement of the body in early stages of growth. Almost like one form of Autism that links with Dyspraxia as a hidden Physical disability. With Cerebral Palsy the damage can happen during birth even though the disability happen before birth or any other brain injuries at a very early age. ( Such as a lack of oxygen to the brain or if a child has been shaken. Children face these difficulties, posture(ability to put the body in a chosen position and keep it there.)
There are more disabilities than I have just written. All disabilities can affect everyday lives one way or the other. For eg; mobility, ability with hands, physical co - coordination or bladder and bowel control, ability to lift and carry, move heavy objects,, remembering things, concentration, learning, understanding and or danger awareness. There's still enough awareness on Dyspaxia yet. It's called Dyspaxia Developmental Co - ordination is when people can only cope doing one thing at a time, which slows people down. I have had this problem all my life I'm nearly 42years but people have only started to learn about it about just over ten years ago.
For eg; people can find it hard to fasten shoe laces and buttons.
Finding it hard to carry a hot joint of meat out the oven and heavy hot pans.
A new born baby can slip ones arms.
Can't skip.
Can't ride a bike.
Can't drive a car.
I haven't been diagnosed Dyspaxia but my Auntie think I have Dyspaxia. Over the past
ten years or so she has come across a few who have the same problems as me. I still
think I need to be diagnosed but I wouldn't be surprised if I am because my Co - ordanation is bad are Motor skills. now I have learned what my own problems could be I would like to help others like me to see they will get more help than me. For eg; seeing that young children better exercise support than what I did. Support aids and seeing that people get the support people need.
My experience of Dyslexia is very often a memory problem for eg; I remember getting bs and ds mixed up I was needing to write the word dog. I suddenly went blank so when wrote the og I know I was wrong because bog didn't look right to me. I rubbed it out to put dog, yet I have stories and poems in my mind. I have always been known for missing words out of sentences and numbers back to front 82 becomes 28, yet I have always found maths very hard. Yet getting numbers back to front and bs and ds the right way round doesn't happen as often now, I still miss words out of sentences and get letters in the wrong places even though I know they are in the word. Sometimes I notice my mistakes other times I don't that's why I need a proof reader.
Hearing, speech, eye sight needs braille and sign language, these disabilities can link into a lot if not all disabilities.
it's like when I said there's different kind of Autism. Sorry to confuse you, Autism is a learning disability. As for how people with disabilities cope with like I said with Autism just except the unaccepted not two people with the same disabilities face the same good and bad in life. Learning disability websites adultprotection.org.uk, WWW.mencap.org.uk and community.care.co.uk. There are many more if you tap in learning disability websites in your search engine.
Mencap say that 1 in 5 people in the uk have learning disabilities. Learning disabilities either start before, during or after birth depending what the disabilities are.
Anxiety Disorder is a kind of Mental illness that causes people to feel worried and stressed whether we have anything to worry about or not. Other than counseling,
exercise and cut down on coffee is the only treatment I'm aware of. Most medications may be on the market but I have been living with it far too long to notice, it just
something you learn to accept if you have been living with it all your life. It's
just hard getting people to accept the way you are as a person as well as a person with learning disabilities.
The causes are unknown, it can either
be on it's own or linked to other disabilities like mine is. There's no limit of
time of long we feel worried and stress for. It can be even harder if it is linked
on to other disabilities because you feel angry not been equal to the rest of society. When you have been living with it all your life you learn to live with it
and you more calmer than you used to be and accept bad things better. We get dryness in our mouths, we feel shaky, tense, fast heart beat and we find it hard to sleep. Just because a person may not face all these things, it doesn't mean they don't stuffer from Anxiety Panic attacks are the main causes of Anxiety.
British men are three times more than likely to take their own lives than British woman.
At least 75% of people in the uk, suffer from depression, I guess that includes people with and without disabilities but I don't know for sure. Only about 3rd of people try to get help. My worry is if people keep on suffering alone they will make themselves ill. Depression affects one in five older people who live in the community, even more care homes.
Stress is the biggest killer of all for everybody maily in today's credit crunch, we are all in the same boat. Bear in mind that stress plays on a lot people's state of mind anyway, which can course Anxiety and depression when people worry too much over things. Some things just won't get out of peoples' minds or it can take a long time. For example; things from relationship and marriage break ups to death even worse paying bills which is more common that ever today. Mencap say People with learning disabilities 58 times likely to die before the age 50 but that's not in the case in everybody. Like I said Stress is a killer for all people but if you have learning disabilities or and health problems on it's own it's double the pressager.
For example; Panic attacks can also bring on Epilepsy but then with my disabilities whatever they are for sure. I was born with lack of oxygen to the brain, which caused me to have fits from birth. When I have stress or I think I have things to worry about I panic but sometimes it brings a fit on other times it doesn't. This can mainly be when I have been misunderstood or and even confused with something like information for eg; some things can make me panic then get me angry and if I get too upset it may bring on my fits, depending what the situation is and how stressful it is to me. I went 20 yrs without having a fit bit during that time I was working at Camnant a living in riding stable in Newtown powys Wales. My Boss Miss Coyne thought I was having Peta Mal fits, which I couldn't understand, I wasn't feeling unwell. She had got the doctor to put me on Tregratol tablets without my families say so. When was 20 I was so depressed with taking them for no reason I over dosed on the lot but lucky enough as you know I pulled through. My family went mad and got the doctor to take me off them. Most medications can make people depressed which are caused by the side-affects.
This is something that doctors should look into because this does not just accept the whose taking the medication but others around mainly if the medication causes the person to have behavior problems for example if someone is Moody a lot. Like I say I have written in many reports advising people to except the unaccepted in all people. That means except anything. Some people seem don't in themselves with medication others without. It's all swings and roundabouts.
Even most good things can be stressful for example; taking exams and waiting for exam results is another example even though on the other hand it could get me through life. I am very keen person if I fail I just keep going but despite of the panic it causes me, which is part of disability, I cope somehow. This can happen in any ones' case not just mine.
When Anxiety links to Autism is when change happens mainly when something can either
shock or even surprise a person. Good change a little bit of time to get used to as well as bad change. Anxiety is the reason why I am writing about Autism again. It
can make us more upset if we have different information on one thing off two or even
several different people. Autism is a life time disability and some people even call it a disorder. Most of us with Autism have learning disabilities. We find it hard to social interact, communicate. We find it hard not to let things get to us, which is
part of our Anxiety. Anxiety also kicks in when a person doesn't feel sure of themselves and the rest the world around them. When something is new whether it's good or bad to friendships/ relationships and or someone has died. For eg; Broken up relationships and deaths can make you feel depressed and as well as angry. Depression can make you feel very low in yourself, lose interest in everything, not wanting to talk to people, a mixer of feeling lonely and wanting to be on ones' own, smoking a lot, drinking a lot, taking drugs, feeling useless and as if the whole world is against you and not wanting to live anymore. Some of us pull out of it, try to help ourselves and get help like counselling for eg; whereas others give up on themselves.
Asperger Syndrome is a foam of Autism in people who have high intelligence but it's also a hidden disability, which means people don't see the problems people have. If
you spend a lot of time with us you will learn that we need more help than you thought. Yet we don't have difficulties in languages. Like expect the unexpected
because these disabilities, illnesses, conditions and disorders can affect different
people in different ways. I have found that I have got better than I used to be since
I have got older but it has been a very slow journey but I don't stop believing in myself and others like me.
Some of us like to spend more time alone, others like people round and some of us can feel like I do a bit of both.
We find it hard to understand people's thoughts and feeling, which may seem selfish but then I am better than I used to be.
We behave in a strange manner without been aware but I have found since I have got older I become more worried and more aware of it knowing off people I've known all
my life have told me.
This can be why we can find hard to make friends but that get better from my experience the more I have been aware of my Autism.
Be also aware of poor eye contract.
Communication Little language, speaking in the same tone, unable to understand meanings of gesture and facial expression, hard to understand jokes, mixing up words like you and I, repeating what they say or and what other people say.
Flapping hands, twirling toes, fixed on the same route round our lives, getting upset by change, sensitive to sound, smell, touch and etc, misunderstanding peoples' thoughts, feelings, actions and etc. Not everyone faces the same all problems so it doesn't make them not Autism depending how many of these problems they do face.
Cause of Autism is unknown yet although in my case it's unknown whether I do
have Autism or not.I guess I'm more than likely Asperger if I am.
I guess just before the 21st century there was a case on the news about the MMR injection to protect Measles/ rubella, what I don't understand how can any learning disability a side - affect in any table, injection or any medicines and ect? If I do have Autism it is caused by what I was born lack of oxygen to the brain so I guess it's possible that MMR causes Autism Spectrum if that's the case.
Friday, 4 March 2011
Family history.
My Mother and me different ages of my early life.My Mother's name is Jane Gorman and my Father's name is Malcolm Marriet, he likes to be called Max's not Malcolm. My parents met at the Wolverhampton Bowel ling Alley in 1968. My Mother was 16 and my Father was 22, he'd just finished the Merchant Navy as a cook. They only lasted about 12 mouths together. January 1969, they found out I was on the way, which a big shock to everyone. Mum was a ballet dance teacher while she was carrying me. She taught a child named Sara, which is how she got my name from. Dad moved to London and married someone over there, that lasted 15 years. My half brother Jay was born January 1978. It wasn't only hard on Mum having a child with disabilities but also been a unmarried Mother and her Mother's marriage was breaking down very badly. I think it made my Mother quite strong in the end. Single families were very rare so it was a sin too be too young to have a child and not be married. Now it is more accepted for each child to have different Fathers.
Not long after my birth my Mum became a bar maid at the Giffther Arms pub in Wolverhampton. Later on she was a Manager res of the Wolverhampton Sports and Social club on the B'ham New road, which she enjoyed for many years. Her boss John Russian sent her to work in London, Santa Pod and Derby as a bar maid.
Later she marriage my first step Dad Roy in August 3rd 1984, my step sister Holly was born January 1983, Mum and Roy parted in 1993 and divorced 2003. She marriage for the 2nd time to Warren August 2009.
My great Grandmother's name was Elizabeth Kendrick, she had eight children my Nan was the oldest. There were three girls and five boys. Since Nan died in 2007, there's now two girls five boys. When the 2nd world war 1939 to 1945 broke out my Nan was 8 years old, Nan had to look after the ones who were born at the time because great Gran and Granddad Tom worked very long hours. Great Gran worked in a Sewing factory and great Granddad made Bomb shelters. There were no washing machines, Microwaves and etc like there is today. There could be still a good many back to back houses during the war. No central heating but gas and coal fires.You could still feel very cold drafts under the doors.
In those days great Gran was tall and blond and great Granddad had a thick mass of curly hair but his later years he went bald and he was always thin. He smoked about 40 Woodbine's a day, he loved his garden, tea, arm chair and sleep. He loved it when I rubbed cold tea on his head when I was little because he left his tea far too long. He said to my Nan.
" Let, I'm sure that child has made my hair grow back."
Great Gran and Granddad had only been around 4 years of my life to see me before they both died. I can't remember a lot. I remember walking on Granddad's garden patched without any shoes on socks on. He was growing flowers and veg. Suddenly a bee sting my foot as I screamed he picked me and told that's why I couldn't use his soil as a sandpit. He was more worried about than his flowers and veg. Nan always said he was very fond of me.
Great Gran's last job was a cleaner at the Express & Star Queen Street Wolverhampton. She'd push me in a Sliver Cross pram and dress me up in bonnets and bows. In her later years she was a very bonnie built lady wearing a blue Flamed turned in glasses 60s style in the 70s.
My Grandparents Letty Kendrick and Ramsey Gorman married in 1949 but I don't know where. It was a marriage that started off from very tall dark, handsome and sun tanned me to spending all his wages in the pub that he needed to keep his wife and family. 20 years of marriage was more than enough for my Nan you will see as you read on.
My great Granny Fiall was Welsh and great Granddad George was Irish. Believe it or not I don't anyone knows how them two got together. Granddad George's Father was German and he was a tap dancer. Nan got on with Granddad George but not Granny Fiall. Nan said she never kept the house clean and she bet on the horses, I can't remember if Nan she said she drank heavy or not. Nan used to call her a dirty old woman. She must have been a female Step Toe, say no more. It makes you wonder how my great Granddad put with her, mind you divorces were very hard to come back then.
My Granddad bet on the horses too this why my Nan had to work extra hours to feed and clothe Mum and Auntie. Nan ended up wasting loads of food because Granddad never came home from the pub when he promised to. He spoke to Nan with his fists. Nan divorced him after 20 years. My great Grandparents said.
" Your should have divorced him sooner, Let."
As adults Mum and Auntie Vicky must have found it hard to trust people after they had seen what their Father had put their Mother through. I guess it was too easy to feel over protected over your own family, They mainly were with me because of my disabilities.
More or less than 40 years ago support was very little. The only benefit around was Child benefit. Nappies were Terry toweling so if your child had a weak bladder like I had, you were washing nappies for a very long time.I must have been at least five or more when I stopped wetting the bed.
I must have been just after my great Grandparents died when Uncle David my Nan's brother took the family to the caravan in Wales about 1974 to 1975. I think I may have just started school. I had Me seals or chicken poxes. Uncle David only drove as far as the Victoria hotel, which is now the Britannia hotel. I suddenly said.
" Are we nearly there?"
" Are we nearly there?"
Two years before my Mother was born, Nan had a son named Tony. He never lived to have children, sisters, nieces, nephews and etc. Tony would have been 60 last May. Nan said she never forgot when she poked a nappy in his belly by mistake. That haunted her for the rest of her life, she never forgave herself.
One day Nan found Tony choking in his cot, he had German Me seals in his throat and he was fitting. In those days cot deaths were very common and hard to treat. He either dead a week before or after his 1st birthday around the 9th May 1951. Nan died June 2007, she wanted her ashes over him so she got her wish because the family did just that.
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