You are there.
There's a bright star in the sky at night.
This is you, you are there.
The stars are good people like you in heaven.
You are there .....
I miss you nan love from Sara x
Sunday, 19 August 2007
HOPING TO MOVE ON.
Hope is sometimes called wishful thinking.
We shouldn't bulid our hopes up these days.
Jobs are very hard to find so I am not missing much.
The fact I can't work, I don't know what I want to do
when I go back to college in September.
I have passed some exams which I hope will help me
with my voluntary work at Mencap.
Where do I go from here?
Where is the light in the tunnel?
ME BRIEFLY ......
It's not easy being understood as a person with learning difficulties. I was born very quickly which caused a lack of oxygen to the brain. I was hyperactive and I had epilepsy until I was twelve years old. Twenty years later my fits came back at the age of thirty one.Thirty years ago, we didn't have a lot of support for disabilties. It's still not good today but better than it used to be. I believe we still have long way to go but we always will do. We can't expect a perfect world. My family tried to fight for my rights, they thought I should have as a baby and child but it was so much more difficult 38 years ago. Disabilties were not understood as much as they are today. Sometimes we thought that many people didn't wanted to know, now I think it's about time, we learned from the past to hopefully try to bring a bright future for people with learning disabilties. Soon I am hoping to do some voluntary work at Mencap to help others overcome the difficulties that I have faced.In my following pages I hope to explain more about the difficulties myself and my family have faced whilst I was growing up.
THE WAY MY DISABILITY AFFECTED ME AS A CHILD
My disability did affect me a lot as a child. I have come a long way, I still have a long way to go. I have always been slow with education and every day skills. It was when I left school I started to learn how to be independent. Having been bullied at school, I had changed schools a lot but I was still bullied a lot. I’m now very happy to say that I haven’t been bullied during my college days so far. If anything I have learned more and more easily since I have left school than when I was there.
My Auntie’s son Luke taught me how to tie my shoe laces when I was twenty years old, he was only ten. I felt such a fool. It was as if I was a child that was staying a child. Now I have achieved more skills since then I am slowly starting to feel like an adult. I am very grateful to Luke, still better late than never. I used to feel ashamed; these kind of problems encouraged bulling in school. They never understood why I found things harder than most children, well it felt that way to me at the time. Maybe they were the ones with the problems not just me, other wise why did we go to special schools?
My disability has always affected my road sense. I have improved to what I used to be but I still get nervous on busy main roads. I have never been able to ride a bike or drive a car and that will never happen. I can travel though on aeroplanes, coaches, buses, trains, trams, cars and etc. My disability affects my reflexes, I can’t carry two cups with hot drinks in at once. I can only carry one cup at a time. I have to use my right hand because my left hand shakes more than my right. I can’t grip very well with my left hand, it shakes and slips. Now I would say only for about a year or two, my family have discovered that I could be dyspaxia, which to do with hands and even balance. For eg banging into things and people, like I have said with grip, shakes of the hands and cor-anation where you only do one thing at a time, whether it's with your mind or your body. I can be very clumsily at times. I haven't got round to being diagnosed yet. I've had this problem all my life, no one knew until about a year ago that I could have dyspaxia.
My Auntie’s son Luke taught me how to tie my shoe laces when I was twenty years old, he was only ten. I felt such a fool. It was as if I was a child that was staying a child. Now I have achieved more skills since then I am slowly starting to feel like an adult. I am very grateful to Luke, still better late than never. I used to feel ashamed; these kind of problems encouraged bulling in school. They never understood why I found things harder than most children, well it felt that way to me at the time. Maybe they were the ones with the problems not just me, other wise why did we go to special schools?
My disability has always affected my road sense. I have improved to what I used to be but I still get nervous on busy main roads. I have never been able to ride a bike or drive a car and that will never happen. I can travel though on aeroplanes, coaches, buses, trains, trams, cars and etc. My disability affects my reflexes, I can’t carry two cups with hot drinks in at once. I can only carry one cup at a time. I have to use my right hand because my left hand shakes more than my right. I can’t grip very well with my left hand, it shakes and slips. Now I would say only for about a year or two, my family have discovered that I could be dyspaxia, which to do with hands and even balance. For eg banging into things and people, like I have said with grip, shakes of the hands and cor-anation where you only do one thing at a time, whether it's with your mind or your body. I can be very clumsily at times. I haven't got round to being diagnosed yet. I've had this problem all my life, no one knew until about a year ago that I could have dyspaxia.
It shows how much awareness there was twenty - thirty years ago, which is non. Still better late than never but like I say I need to be diagnosed yet. At the end of the day education is more slower than I am, why does it take years to find things out? Still we can find everything out at once, that's too much to ask. If you or someone you know are the same as me in anyway, please drop me an email on sarajgorman@googlemail.com I will be very interested to hear your story about your disability on how you cope with it, whoever you are and whatever age you are.
I have never been very good with directions but I am better than I used to be.I will always have the disability I have always had but I make progress each day, which makes me better than I used to be. I used to get angry and upset when not able to do things. Now I can accept the things I can’t do because there have been so many skills I have learned in the last ten years and maybe slightly more. I accept that there’s no way I would be able to have children and drive a car. I think today’s society has made me accept that. It’s unsafe world to bring children up and also there is too much traffic on the roads today. At the end of the day there are still quite a lot of skills that I could have a chance to achieve in the long term future. What skills, who knows!
I didn't cope most children, I felt as if they were having a better time than I was. I don’t think now that was the case. I may have egged them on to bully me without realising what I had done was wrong. I could not communicate with anyone, not even myself, they didn't understand me either. I weren't cope with playing games or reading books. Now I understand things better than I used to. I think I still find games hard to understand though.
I can just about cope with my own flat, I have all kinds of friends, I travel independently and I do my own shopping. I am attending college, doing English, creative writing and a computer course. I like drawing and painting. I am hoping to get some training for work so hopefully with the right help me I could become a writer. I am a lot happier and less frustrated compared to how I used to feel.
I didn't cope most children, I felt as if they were having a better time than I was. I don’t think now that was the case. I may have egged them on to bully me without realising what I had done was wrong. I could not communicate with anyone, not even myself, they didn't understand me either. I weren't cope with playing games or reading books. Now I understand things better than I used to. I think I still find games hard to understand though.
I can just about cope with my own flat, I have all kinds of friends, I travel independently and I do my own shopping. I am attending college, doing English, creative writing and a computer course. I like drawing and painting. I am hoping to get some training for work so hopefully with the right help me I could become a writer. I am a lot happier and less frustrated compared to how I used to feel.
IN A DREAM WORLD
ME AGE 13 WITH MY BABY SISTER HOLLY
I was born mildly brain damaged and had fits from birth. The tablets I was taking since birth were very strong and caused me to be in a dream world. My mother weaned me off the tablets when I was about 12yrs old and I didn't have another fit until 20 years later. I was hyperactive and I was autistic, I was awake all night but I was in another world in the day. This is why I wasn’t very successful at school, I heard people’s voices but I didn’t understand them.
I had very bad temper tantrums that made life even harder for my family. I was seeking attention without realising or even meaning to. I was very lucky to have a family who persevered with me until I did understand how to do something.
My Mother tried to get help, in those days it was hard to find, she was on the verge of a nervous breakdown until an educational psychologist observed me for a week in my primary school.
During my adulthood I have realised that there are others in my shoes and some a lot worse. During my childhood I felt like the odd one out, I felt as if some people were making fun of me. I was unaware that I wasn’t the only one; it was as if people thought I was thick. Now I know it only seemed that way, I don’t think I was the odd one out but I thought I was. In those days it felt like no-one had the time to give someone like myself one chance, they didn’t seem to understand I couldn't master things first time. It is very hard to explain to people who don’t have these problems, unless they have these problems themselves. On the other hand I always believe there are always plenty of people worse off than you.
For me now it isn’t as bad as what it used to be because I hear about a lot more support and things now than what there used be. I think there is still a lot to understand still about being disabled, we will never know everything.
I had very bad temper tantrums that made life even harder for my family. I was seeking attention without realising or even meaning to. I was very lucky to have a family who persevered with me until I did understand how to do something.
My Mother tried to get help, in those days it was hard to find, she was on the verge of a nervous breakdown until an educational psychologist observed me for a week in my primary school.
During my adulthood I have realised that there are others in my shoes and some a lot worse. During my childhood I felt like the odd one out, I felt as if some people were making fun of me. I was unaware that I wasn’t the only one; it was as if people thought I was thick. Now I know it only seemed that way, I don’t think I was the odd one out but I thought I was. In those days it felt like no-one had the time to give someone like myself one chance, they didn’t seem to understand I couldn't master things first time. It is very hard to explain to people who don’t have these problems, unless they have these problems themselves. On the other hand I always believe there are always plenty of people worse off than you.
For me now it isn’t as bad as what it used to be because I hear about a lot more support and things now than what there used be. I think there is still a lot to understand still about being disabled, we will never know everything.
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