I'm alone not alone.
Loneliness is my friend who doesn't reply back when been spoken to.
Loneliness is my home.
If I want a reply to what I say I'm out and about.
Night time is the time when I'm out even if people don't speak to me.
Life carries on without you even though I love you so much.
When I'm out I don't if and when I see you again but seeing little of you suits me fine.
My bed is calling and waiting for me at the end of the night or the morning light.
Loneliness is waiting for me yet again therefore no one knows my private thoughts about me and you other than me and you.
When I can't sleep I think about you.
When I sleep I have deep dreams about you.
If I sleep at all woken by heavy traffic and very strong winds, how very strange?
I'm not a lone to be alone. 18.9.2011
Sorry I can't sleep.
I keep counting sheep every time I try to sleep.
May be I have lost count of the sheep.
They keep me awake by saying.
Baa baa!
It seems like a thousand years since I saw you to love you or sorry was it only today or yesterday?
We may have to wait to see one another forever, it may be today, tomorrow, whenever or never.
Never mind look forward to seeing you next time whenever that is.
I may not be a very good sleeper but mornings are now too cold to get out of bed.
It's too warm in bed.18.9.2011
Never ending!
It's not always possible to love the same person forever.
The good is not spending a lot of time together.
The bad is too many heart breaks.
Love seems to be an never ending circle from one lover to other.
Happiness last as long or as short as it's meant to be.
Loving one person for for life these days is very rare.
I don't think forever love will happen to me, which one way is a good thing but another way is a bad thing.
I've cried so many times over broken love, I guess I have many tears to come.
I've been happy so many times in love I guess more love to come that more than likely won't last.
Love starts and ends.
It's hard to know whether to believe in hope or not.
I guess commitment isn't always cut out to be these days. 18.9.2011
The sun isn't bright enough without you.
It's been a long time since I saw the sky the night before the sun.
The air is too cold for the birds to fly.
The sun isn't warm or bright enough without you.
I think about you non stop.
I can never seem to give up on your love.
Nothing seems to stop me feeling the way I do about you.
At times I'm in my own world.
Your on my mind so much I can't sleep.
When I'm a sleep it's hard to wake up, my dreams are so deep about you.
Sometimes I wish I could a bird so I could fly to you.
Every day is unknown whether it's a good or bad day.
I wish I climb trees to make and collect leaves to build a nest to rest at my very best.
I'm the bird of the sea, come fly with me.
As we hit the tide coming and out with the waves under our feet, that is the love of you. 18.9.2011
Change of seasons.
There's no longer a long winter.
There's no longer a long summer.
The weather has a mind of it own at any time all year round.
Paint a picture of an ideal world.
The sky.
The sun.
The sea.
The sand.
The trees.
The gardens.
So the list goes on.
No winter is winter in winter time, it's winter when it wants to be.
The snowman for children is now a fairly tale dream. 18.9.2011
Monday, 19 September 2011
Sunday, 18 September 2011
Childhood memory.
I started of as an only for the first 13 years of my life. In one way I loved it but in another way I hated it. Called talking to yourself the first sign of madness but it created my world, no one answered me back other than my dolls and soft toys. On the other hand it was a lonely world when their isn't anyone who can communicate or and understand you. When there are a lot of adults around the world seems bigger and better than what you are.
When I was ten years old, I walked into class on Monday morning after the weekend. I knew what I had do, write in my rough about what I did over the weekend, this was about the only thing liked doing in school apart from art, history, English and swimming.
Not many children including myself got on with Old Miss Cole at Kingswood Special boarding Albrighton Wolverhampton. Even the look of her scared us let alone when she shouted at us. I can see this woman only about 50 looking over 90 when I think about it today. Her clacked wriggled face, her black and white dog checked coat. Everyday I used to dread facing her but my word I respect so much for making me the person I am today.
My word I wish I would have kept my rough books because I wrote some things that were and were not true just because I loved writing yet I had no thoughts of wanting to be a writer. Some stories were true one Monday, next Monday untrue stories and Monday after true and untrue was mixed.
My Nan Letty was my Mother, my Mother Jane known as Sam was my sister, my Auntie Vicci was my sister and my Nan as my Mother had at least three made up children in my stories. Many I have forgotten because I wrote in 1979. My writing about that weekend, the events were true but some people were real but different people.
When Miss Cole read my work, she went mad as she slapped my leg with a ruler, which shock me up for the rest of day. As for my writing, it helped me create my own world gave me grief off adults in the real world. In the end taught me not to tell lies only in writing stories or if I have to tell white lies. I never thought about wanting to be a writer until I was 23 but as for my rough book I was just a lonely child.
" Telling lies can get you into big trouble, Sara!"
When I was ten years old, I walked into class on Monday morning after the weekend. I knew what I had do, write in my rough about what I did over the weekend, this was about the only thing liked doing in school apart from art, history, English and swimming.
Not many children including myself got on with Old Miss Cole at Kingswood Special boarding Albrighton Wolverhampton. Even the look of her scared us let alone when she shouted at us. I can see this woman only about 50 looking over 90 when I think about it today. Her clacked wriggled face, her black and white dog checked coat. Everyday I used to dread facing her but my word I respect so much for making me the person I am today.
My word I wish I would have kept my rough books because I wrote some things that were and were not true just because I loved writing yet I had no thoughts of wanting to be a writer. Some stories were true one Monday, next Monday untrue stories and Monday after true and untrue was mixed.
My Nan Letty was my Mother, my Mother Jane known as Sam was my sister, my Auntie Vicci was my sister and my Nan as my Mother had at least three made up children in my stories. Many I have forgotten because I wrote in 1979. My writing about that weekend, the events were true but some people were real but different people.
When Miss Cole read my work, she went mad as she slapped my leg with a ruler, which shock me up for the rest of day. As for my writing, it helped me create my own world gave me grief off adults in the real world. In the end taught me not to tell lies only in writing stories or if I have to tell white lies. I never thought about wanting to be a writer until I was 23 but as for my rough book I was just a lonely child.
" Telling lies can get you into big trouble, Sara!"
Sunday, 11 September 2011
September 11th diary 2001
I remember ten years ago today been an very unhappy day. I rang my Father round about 4pm on that Tuesday afternoon. He asked me to put the television on. There was a very serious tone in his voice. I asked him why and he told me. I felt just the same all over again like when I heard the news about John Lennon just over twenty years before hand. Yet again the experience of hearing the news was so hard to talk and write about.
When I put the news on, I saw the New York towers fall really fast through a dramatic explosion like a para shoot going through the air. Nothing sank into me at first until I saw it on the news. A I watched those towers falling down my stomach was turning over as if I was on a roller coaster ride.
This all happened in Washington as well as New York. It hit nine people alive from the World Trade Centre. A fireman had been hit on the 38rd floor of one of the towers.
Wednesday 12th September 2001
The sad est part is that places like New York is so easy to get hit because the buildings are so well known. Mainly buildings like the towers with them been very tall.
One American lady had said
" It has destroyed a lot of lives as well as homes and buildings."
The fireman had told the rescuers that he had been rolling down the stairwell, floor by floor. The whole building had collapsed. There were five other firefighters and a police offer still there to be saved.
Thursday 13th September 2001
The morning I heard that one hundred English people had been killed in New York through explosion.
Yesterday President of American George Brush vowed to bring justice. Just like everyone he was very upset and angry. He also wants to know who has done this damage to the USA.
I think I heard on the news last night that they want to cause the English army out.
Two brothers were aboard hijacked Untied flights 175, which crushed into the World Trade.
Four planes had 266 people aboard. 100 - 800 people may be dead at the pentagon.
Friday 14th September 2001. At 11.00am at Saint Paul's Cathral there was a service for 500 English people who died in USA. There was also a 3 minutes quite.
This has cost so many people's lives and damaged buildings, my thoughts go out to people who have lost people or and buildings.
Monday 17th September 2001 USA is back to work but I guess there are still a lot of people who can't cope with going back to work at least not yet. Bare in mind that some people have lost a lot of businesses, even worse some people homes. President Brush had added.
" I want Bin Laden dead or burned alive."
Its sounds to me as if Bin Laden is guilty of theses attacks on USA. They think that Bin Laden had many terriorists involved but it's still unsure. President Brush does have a very strong feeling that it's Bin Laden. More than likely Brush is right but he shouldn't jump the gun it could be anyone from anywhere. Planes going into towers is anyone's guess. No one can blame Brush for been upset and angry though.
Thursday 18th September 2001. 30 odd years to Jimi Hendrick's death, I bet he's rolling in his grave with the USA coming to war again.
It's now been a week since the attacks. No one can really say how long this war will last. President Brush added.
" This war could go on a very long time."
My Father added.
" This war could go on another 30 years."
This war is very hard to come to terms with. Life has to go on but never rush people to rebuild their lives. The world had no choice but to accept the war, it will stay as long as it's going to. We need to take it day by day.
Wednesday 19th September 2001.
I can't say whether I'm right or wrong, mostly wars are about greed, jealously and not accepting people who and they are. We are all human beings at the end of the day. The colour of our skin and the way we talk shouldn't matter to anyone. Life is hard enough on it's own without making matters worse. We should live a life of choice if not why are we born? Why is there a world in the first place if we can't enjoy life?
Thursday 20th September 2001.
I believe the war will go on for ten years but nothing can be so sure.Every day is unknown, we shouldn't judge what we don't know for sure.
Since and before the Gulf war, we have heard enough about robbings, murders and etc without causing more wars. More of these things are talked about more now than ever before. Now we need to watch our backs all the time, which makes wars worse. That doesn't make the 1st or 2nd World War any worse or better than this one.
When I put the news on, I saw the New York towers fall really fast through a dramatic explosion like a para shoot going through the air. Nothing sank into me at first until I saw it on the news. A I watched those towers falling down my stomach was turning over as if I was on a roller coaster ride.
This all happened in Washington as well as New York. It hit nine people alive from the World Trade Centre. A fireman had been hit on the 38rd floor of one of the towers.
Wednesday 12th September 2001
The sad est part is that places like New York is so easy to get hit because the buildings are so well known. Mainly buildings like the towers with them been very tall.
One American lady had said
" It has destroyed a lot of lives as well as homes and buildings."
The fireman had told the rescuers that he had been rolling down the stairwell, floor by floor. The whole building had collapsed. There were five other firefighters and a police offer still there to be saved.
Thursday 13th September 2001
The morning I heard that one hundred English people had been killed in New York through explosion.
Yesterday President of American George Brush vowed to bring justice. Just like everyone he was very upset and angry. He also wants to know who has done this damage to the USA.
I think I heard on the news last night that they want to cause the English army out.
Two brothers were aboard hijacked Untied flights 175, which crushed into the World Trade.
Four planes had 266 people aboard. 100 - 800 people may be dead at the pentagon.
Friday 14th September 2001. At 11.00am at Saint Paul's Cathral there was a service for 500 English people who died in USA. There was also a 3 minutes quite.
This has cost so many people's lives and damaged buildings, my thoughts go out to people who have lost people or and buildings.
Monday 17th September 2001 USA is back to work but I guess there are still a lot of people who can't cope with going back to work at least not yet. Bare in mind that some people have lost a lot of businesses, even worse some people homes. President Brush had added.
" I want Bin Laden dead or burned alive."
Its sounds to me as if Bin Laden is guilty of theses attacks on USA. They think that Bin Laden had many terriorists involved but it's still unsure. President Brush does have a very strong feeling that it's Bin Laden. More than likely Brush is right but he shouldn't jump the gun it could be anyone from anywhere. Planes going into towers is anyone's guess. No one can blame Brush for been upset and angry though.
Thursday 18th September 2001. 30 odd years to Jimi Hendrick's death, I bet he's rolling in his grave with the USA coming to war again.
It's now been a week since the attacks. No one can really say how long this war will last. President Brush added.
" This war could go on a very long time."
My Father added.
" This war could go on another 30 years."
This war is very hard to come to terms with. Life has to go on but never rush people to rebuild their lives. The world had no choice but to accept the war, it will stay as long as it's going to. We need to take it day by day.
Wednesday 19th September 2001.
I can't say whether I'm right or wrong, mostly wars are about greed, jealously and not accepting people who and they are. We are all human beings at the end of the day. The colour of our skin and the way we talk shouldn't matter to anyone. Life is hard enough on it's own without making matters worse. We should live a life of choice if not why are we born? Why is there a world in the first place if we can't enjoy life?
Thursday 20th September 2001.
I believe the war will go on for ten years but nothing can be so sure.Every day is unknown, we shouldn't judge what we don't know for sure.
Since and before the Gulf war, we have heard enough about robbings, murders and etc without causing more wars. More of these things are talked about more now than ever before. Now we need to watch our backs all the time, which makes wars worse. That doesn't make the 1st or 2nd World War any worse or better than this one.
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