USER FRIENDLY PACK 2018, 2ND YEAR STUDENTS UNIVERSITY OF WOLVERHAMPTON WALSALL CAMPUS.

In the first year, you should have learned about what disabilities, health problems etc that are out there but do research on the internet or any other references if you need to.
 Give the examples of what disabilities, health problems etc there are, how they affect peoples' lives and how you can support people who face these problems, which can be at home, educate, work, social life, etc.
How can you make life easy for these people?

Here are just a few examples, which also need to learn about ADD/ADHD, Asperser Syndrome, Depression, Dyscalculia, Dyslexia, Diabetes,  Dyspraxia.
Anxiety, Depression.

Task one.

Write up an set of instructions that a person may have to follow or do things in some kind of order, what do they do first, second and so on?

How would you make the information accessible to them?

The could be making a paper airplane, changing a light bulb, wiring a plug, putting on a duvet, making a hot drink, even boiling an egg.

Task two.

Find websites to study the history of disabilities and health problems, what has changed from the past to today?

What still needs to get better but what is better than it used to be?

 Task three.

What is communication?

Name forms of communication!

Task four.

How can you support memory problems?
By studying websites and even books, find out what others disabilities and health problems can cause problems other than the ones I have listed on this post!

Task five. 

How can you make learning accessible for people with disabilities and health problems to learn? Study from the guidelines on Sara revealed in 2017 and 16 post and maybe other references too.

Task six.

• How would you make an assessment accessible?
• How do disabilities and health problems affect people's everyday skills?
• Look on WWW.mencap.org.uk and User-friendly part 3 on Sara revealed 2016 post.

https://sararevealed.blogspot.co.uk/2015/10/assessment-training-handout.html

For example; can the person make a hot drink, with support, without support or not at all?

This could mean.

• Heating a hot snack.
• Preparing a cold snack.
• Cooking or and heat a hot meal.
• Wash up.
• Dry up.
• Use the washing machine
• Dy clothes
• Iron clothes
• Hover
• Dust 
• Shop
• Washing
• Bathing
• Showering
• Washing hair
• Brushing hair
• Brushing teeth
• Cutting fingernails
• Cutting toenails

Task 7. Google these.

1. What is Personal care?
2. What is everyday living skills?
3. What is PCP Person Centred Planning?
4.  What is Valuing people Now? 

Listening Skills.


People on answer phones can talk too fast for people with disabilities and health problems to keep up with they are saying for example; press this for that and that for this. This can be furstaighting when the person needs to make an important, something needs to be sorted quickly and no one is there dealing with it with them right away.

Without being racist most people with disabilities and health problems don't understand foreign languages, this can be hard when the called is unexpected and unknown whether the calls are important to us or not.


Disabilities and health problems are likely to slow down a person's ability and even give them memory problems such as. 

Causes of memory problems.

• Dyslexia
• Dyspraxia
• Dimension
• Side effects from most medications
• Epilepsy

My disabilities and health problems.

https://sararevealed.blogspot.co.uk/2017/12/what-is-dyspraxia.html

https://sararevealed.blogspot.co.uk/2017/12/dyspraxia-needs-to-be-taken-seriously.html

All these mental health problems can get confused because there's not much different to one another. I guess I could have either one to all of those as I have suffered from either one to all for forty-eight years nearly, which is from birth. The last seizure I had four years ago this is what I have faced on and off through my life. 

Through the side effects of my medication Phenobarbital, I was put on as a baby and child, which caused me to be moody and hyperactive. The moods could come at any time due to the fact I found it hard to sleep at night I was overtired. Yet strangely the daytime I was dreamy, in a world of my own and unaware of the world around me. For example, even at the age of twelve, I was a danger hazard to cross the road.

I couldn't pay attention to my school work. I was always classed as thick, lazy and told I’d never get along in life.  I think at that point of my life I was suffering from ADHD.  I left school believing I wouldn't get anywhere in life. I left school believing at first that I would not get anywhere in life but then I was glad to leave school. Near enough every school I went to I faced bullying, rape and sexual abuse from a lot of children in the schools.  From after I left school twenty – seven years ago I have proved myself wrong by achieving the things I have said I have achieved like the exams I have passed in college, the awareness of learning disability and mental health, Advocacy, short stories and poetry which is all on my website sararevealed.blogspot.com/ email sarajgorman@gmail.com.

ever the less these health problems are not much different to one another. Anxiety is a feeling of anger, panic, and fear whether a person has a reason to feel that way or not. Depression is a feeling of sadness whether a person has a reason to feel sad or not. Epilepsy and panic attacks are not that much different to one another either. Worry is connected to stress which is anxiety when a person gets upset easily.  Can all those health problems be linked or and even be misunderstood?  

Disability and Mental Health Awareness handout.

Think about how your life is now, what you happy with, what your sad with, what needs to get better and how you feel you need help and support.

People with disabilities mostly need help with everyday skill, for eg; cooking, washing, ironing, shopping or and etc. Just like all of you each and every one of us is different, we are good and not so good at different things to think about how you would make life easy for us and support us.

How can you compare your life with the life of someone with a learning disability?


On whole people with disabilities are a bit slower to understand things but different people in different ways, how would you make their life easier or and support them?

Sign language, Easy read symbols, speech, and language.

PCP Person Centred Planning, learning how to balance support with independence. 

References you could use websites, books and etc. Here’s one www.mencap.org.uk

Types of disabilities and difficulties.

Dyslexia reading and writing problems.

Dyscalculia maths problems.

dysgraphia writing problems.

Dyspraxia motor skills, coordination, hand-eye contact, balance, manual dexterity.

Dyhasia / Aphasia problems with launage. 

Auditory processing disorders problems with the hearing sound of words correct, reading, comprehension, and launage.

Visual processing disorders, problems with interpreting, visual information, problems with reading and understanding such thing as maps, maths, charts, symbols, and pictures. Study the difference between disabilities and difficulties. http://www.mindroom.org

ADHD is really everything all in one, they can face problems with their behavior, their emotions, social skills meaning how they get along with people, how they concentrate, pay attention but very often unaware of their own actions. Hyperactive but also overtired. It's not much different to Anxiety can be easily confused with one another but also possible to have one or the other or two. http://www.calmclinic.com/adhd-anxiety

Also, Depression can link into ADHD other problems and on its own. http://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/736281

A learning disability can affect the body or and brain before, during or after birth. Find out more from references such as the internet, books or and etc. WWW.mencap.org.uk

How Does a disability happen?
When is a disability likely to happen?
What type of disabilities are there?

Some name of disabilities and health problems, what and how much do you know about them?
 Eplispy, Diabetes Anxiety, Depression, and ADHD. 


Find out how disabilities and health problems can affect lives compared to yours!

How can you make life easy for people with disabilities and health problems?

This could mean peoples' lives at home, school, college, workplace, socializing or and etc. 

Accessible information ( Easy Read.) What is easy read?

Communication
What is communication?
What forms of communication are there?  Examples; sign language, easy read symbols and speech and language. 

What is a learning disability?  

A learning disability can either affect the brain or and the body before, during and after birth.

Here are some types of disabilities Dyspraxia, Dyslexia, and Autism, what others are there?

Mental health problems Anxiety and Depression, what others are there?

Health problems Epilepsy, Diabetes, and ADHD, what others are there?

How do disabilities and health problems affect people in everyday life at home, school, college in the workplace and etc?

How can you make life easy for people who face disabilities and health problems?  Here are my examples what are yours.

Accessible information (Easy read).

Communication, how can someone with disabilities and health problems make themselves understood? Here are my examples what are yours?

Sign language, Easy read symbols, speech, and language.

PCP Person Centred Planning, learning how to balance support with independence. 

References you could use websites, books and etc. Here’s one www.mencap.org.uk

Learning disability, health problems. mental health disorders, difficulties, long-term conditions or and etc. 

All these mental health problems can get confused because there's not much different to one another. I guess I could have either one to all of those as I have suffered from either one to all for forty-eight years nearly, which is from birth. My last seizure I had four years ago this is what I have faced on and off through my life. 

Through the side effects of my medication Phenobarbital, I was put on as a baby and child, which caused me to be moody and hyperactive. The moods could come at any time due to the fact I found it hard to sleep at night I was overtired. Yet strangely the daytime I was dreamy, in a world of my own and unaware of the world around me. For example, even at the age of twelve, I was a dangerous hazard to cross the road.

I couldn't pay attention in my school work. I was always classed as thick, lazy and told I’d never get along in life.  I think at that point of my life I was suffering from ADHD.  I left school believing I wouldn't get anywhere in life. I left school believing at first that I would not get anywhere in life but then I was gladder to leave school. Near enough every school I went to I faced bullying, rape and sexual abuse from a lot of children in the schools.  From after I left school twenty – seven years ago I have proved myself wrong by achieving the things I have said I have achieved like the exams I have passed in college, the awareness of learning disability and mental health, Advocacy, short stories and poetry which is all on my website sararevealed.blogspot.com/ email sarajgorman@gmail.com.

Never the less these health problems are not much different to one another. Anxiety is a feeling of anger, panic, and fear whether a person has a reason to feel that way or not. Depression is a feeling of sadness whether a person has a reason to feel sad or not. Epilepsy and panic attacks are not that much different to one another either. Worry is connected to stress which is anxiety when a person gets upset easily.  Can all those health problems be linked or and even be misunderstood?  

How can these health problems be not much different to one another?

A fit and a panic attack are both to do with the nevus system, which people can very easily confuse one with the other. This can also be confusing for the person who is facing the fit, panic attack or even both. For example what I have faced.

·       Headaches

·       Dizziness

·       Choking or even a sense of choking, it’s a feeling as if someone has got their hands around my neck.

·       Electric shocks, pins, and needles through my spine arms and legs.  

      Shaking

·       Going hot and cold

·       Fully aware of what’s going on.

This is an example of how all these things can get confused with one another.

Anxiety.  A sense of panic, fear and or anger whether there’s a reason or not. Like all health problems, it can depend on how we manage the health problems. Those of us like me who have had these health problems manage them in a different way than what we did to start off with.

As it’s possible I may have had ADHD as a child it could be possible it could be a major form of Anxiety. Most children pull a screaming and kicking temper paddies in town for example at times but it can depend on how often. If this happens to your child a lot and I mean a lot then they may need to get checked and diagnosed. Something may be happening your child may not be able to explain also they may be in fear that you may not understand. Maybe they don’t know themselves, which can be very furstraighting this can also be fearful and scary whether there’s a reason to be or not. ADHD can be some form of Autism as well.

A mild form Anxiety can be the same as major fearing things are worse than what they are but can be in different ways.  For example different people you different thing on one thing a person may want to know so that person may get easily get confused.

Most people may get upset easily upset caused by negative situations such as a death of people they know or they may a relationship breakup which we all have to face but we all get affected in different ways. Some people come to terms with these things quicker than others but people with health problems and disabilities mostly tend to be more sensitive and tend to be slower to come to terms with these kinds of issues.

Some people can be also nervous of exams and even taking their driving test for example. This can depend on how often a person is nervous and maybe depending what situations they are nervous of. People can get nervous over negative and positive things which can be a sense a fear, excitement, whether something is going to be good or bad news like exams for eg;

Some people have fears of forgetting things mainly when it comes to important things. Even if you have got things ready beforehand you want to make. You fear just in case you forget something important. In fact, people who suffer from Anxiety are likely to forget less time than people who don’t have Anxiety cause we are always worrying about forgetting. In fact what we have to remember is always on our minds until whatever event is over. You are saying to yourself, have I remembered it when you get there where you are going and whatever you need whatever for.

Anger is part of Anxiety. Anger is a feeling you get whether there’s a reason or not. It can be a feeling of anger, worry, stress, and tension yet all of those things can just happen. This is because those things are linked to Anxiety. This is where we need exercises to loosen our muscles up but this may not work for all of us. It’s possible that all these words like anger, worry, stress, and tension get confused easily because there’s not much difference between the meanings of the words. When we face these feelings it tends to feel the same feeling. These feelings don’t need a reason to happen.

Depression.  It’s the same with depression a feeling of sadness that comes on whether there’s a reason to be sad or not.

 It’s hard to know whether these health problems are illnesses or conditions, I don’t anyone knows for such.

One always says that’s it best to keep the mind and body busy but that works for some people not for others. Many people tell people who suffer from Anxiety and depression that it’s all in the mind.

In my case, I can go from losing interest in what I am normally interested into climbing the walls when I have nothing going on in my life. I can feel angrily, sad, down, stressed, depressed, worried and etc for a reason and no reason at all.

I have so many thoughts in my head I very rarely talk about or I don’t talk about them at all such as feeling as if life isn't worth living. I try very hard to fight those thoughts, which isn't easy. It could be for the silliest reasons or yet again no reason at all. Professions advise this that and the other but these things are there to try. What works for one person doesn't for the other. That could mean exercises, diet and many things that may keep the mind and body busy.

Like for example for me and for those of you who have read my website will know my poetry helps my Anxiety and Depression in the sense of anger and sadness when comes to relationship breakups for example or someone who I know who has died.

2017 TO 2018 POETRY.

Can't bring me to say.
Can't bring me to say, can't seem to fight the way I feel about you away.
I shouldn't feel the way I do about you even though there's no shame doing so only that I don't really know you.
Only that I'm a number of years old than you.
No way it can be possible we live so far away.
I wouldn't force you to feel the same about me as I do about you.
Take no notice of me, my problem to live with not yours.
You don't have to be so easy going about this if you don't want.
If I write as I do I may learn to live with the way I feel and hopefully for both our sakes it will pass.
Can't risk such a great friendship we have yet I can't bring myself to tell you how I really feel either.
How silly am I, I haven't even met you.

It thought I failed your love but you failed mine. 

Why didn't I walk about from you a lot sooner than I did?
I loved you so much so I thought, now I hate you so much I wouldn't be able to stand to be in the same room as you.
I used to think you would change for the better but you never did.
Only thought that I loved you.
Don't know what got over me, I must have been so mad and so out of my mind.
Back 2003 I had feelings for someone else as well as you but it didn't last, nothing happened and before long it soon passed.
No way was I getting myself down to your level of being a cheat and lier.

I never saw the light for a long time. 

No one seemed to agree with my thought at the time so I kept them to myself, thinking now who can blame them?
Twelve months of going mad and putting my head in the sand all because of one man that was you.
Now I ask myself why I broke down so low with my head between my legs and knees.
All I saw was dark for such a long time with no light at all, like a train going through a dark tunnel where there's no end of the line at all.
This is how I thought was always going to be to a point I couldn't stand to be alive anymore.
Now I look at me I'm glad I saw it through and I'm glad I never let you beat me, I'm still here to tell what happened and how I was feeling so I can close the subject, get you out my mind together and get on with my life.
Found it hard to make the right choices for me and love and trust was hard to feel for anyone else but trust me now, it's getting there slowly even now after the amount years without you in my life.
Although I didn't realize it at the time I see the light now.
I spent time worrying I would fall in love with the wrong person again like I have fallen for so many wrong people but also hated the loneliness as well.
Now I'm just trying to learn to live whatever happens in my life to a point I have lived with it too long to notice.
If anything I moved to someone else far too soon because people were going on how silly I was so wrapped up in my thoughts about you but then he was as bad as you and he failed my love too.
My love was just as strong for him as it was for you to a point I got hurt yet again, how mad I was to listen to others but then it's hard to tell if they are right or wrong.

I'm there for you.

I have been there myself so I will be there for you, friend, lover whatever and whoever you want me to be but I'm just myself like you are yourself.
I would never judge your situation, I will be there for you if you want me too.
 If you ask my opinion I will tell you what I think but I will never tell you what to do.
I'm looking out for you however you may feel for me.

I want to try and get it right this time. 
How can I love without being blind?
To me, it's happened all my life but I'm not alone.
I went through fear and lost trust for such a long time.
For years now I have just let people carry on taking, they can carry taking forever all I care now.
I used to think I may as well live my life in sin because I was in fear I'd get hurt again.
Surely one day I will get it right if I love again, surely I can't fail all my life.

Late night snow.

Late night snow but there we go.
Only time will tell how long it takes to go.
We can only think twice as the cold starts to freeze into the morning light.
Dark, dull, grey winter not a bright of light in the sky.
Turn on the light without a fight as the cold air and the frost bites and not a shade of sunlight.

It seems so far away or not at all.

Never judge what it's like for people because nothing is the same for everyone.
I felt darkness that I thought that would last forever more.
I was amazed as time moved forward, after all, then I saw the light coming my way, there I was out of the dark into the light.

You don't beat me.

Stick and stones don't break my bones, your words will never hurt me no more.
Anything you do or say will ever throw me.
What you put me through will never kill me like I thought it would.
Don't creep back to me because you will never thrill me or impress me no more, I only used to think you did.
I feel nothing to for you and neither of us owes one another anything.
Now you need to leave my mind alone, there's no start, no end, and no goodbye.
You were just a dream that turned into a complete nightmare.

Anxiety going through my mind.

I lay asleep to wake up to snow so deep.
The clouds and the sky was dark and grey for the day,
Trees blowing in the heavy wind as the snow blowing.
The winds were high into the moonlight, sun shore bright with shining stars as the day became night.
I blew my kite with such a fright with the wind of the night.
Thunder and lighting came with such a flight with flashes of light.
There was darkness then there was light, which was a wild sight into the night.

Me as I was, me as I am now. 
I was just a child with wild long hair that blew in the wind.
Now I'm just grey as can be.
Now tiredness is hitting me with the cold and the wind.
I once ran up the hill and sprained my ankle when I was ten, I couldn't do it now.

Winter days and nights.
The skies are winterly, silent and grey.
Everywhere comes to a standstill of the winter, wind and cold with handy any people around.
Short grey days and long dark nights as the moon and the stars don't shine brightly.

Not an easy one. 

Sorry I feel for you as I do, never mind I'm a big girl now, I will learn to live with it.
Yes I know you don't feel the same too and I know I should do but I'm trying not to.
Yes, I know so wrong but we don't know could be so right, that we will never know as we live so far away from one another.
Yes I know I shouldn't expect you to feel the same way about me as I do about you, slap my hand lol, I very naughty so sorry but I can't help what I feel inside myself.
How silly for me to feel this way.
Just take no notice of me.
I'm just a silly old fool, nothing against you just silly hoping to have who I can't.
I'm no liar, no cheat yet for what you have got through I don't expect you to believe or trust that but I'm not saying that to get you.
I'm saying what I say because it's true, I'm a victim of cheats and liers too and if I'm honest I'm still even now finding it hard to trust but yes I love someone in my life to love and trust just like you but it doesn't necessarily mean one another.
I shouldn't feel as I do cause I have someone in my life who loves me for me and the other way round.
I don't want to give in to me because it's just a feeling I have inside.
I really love him too and I will never leave him, lie or cheat on him, no matter how I feel for you.
Hope one day you will meet someone special too.
Sorry to tell you my thought it's me who needs to live with them.

Your number one.

Your number one an don't you forget that.
I feel so bad for feeling for someone else but nothing has gone on and nothing ever will.
Hopefully, soon it will pass.
He's not interested and he lives so far away.
This is no fault of yours or his just me, it's only feelings nothing has happened.
He lives too far away for anything to happen.
Even though I handy see you, you are still my world.
I have no need to throw nearly nine years of friendship, relationship, and passion away I have had with you whenever possible.
There's no one else but you and that's the truth.
I've been through it myself too much I just couldn't do it to you, I love you so much.
You have nothing to worry about no way am I seeing him and no way I want to see him in that way at all.
Sorry, I must train my foolish mind.
Yes I know I must fight this feeling I have for him but it will never be in action.
At my age, I should be more mature and should know better shame on me.

I need to leave you alone. 

I need to leave you alone please don't be mad at me, just a feeling I have for you that can't be put into action because we live so far away from one another.
Yes I know I'm just a silly old fool, you don't need to tell me but you must think I am.
I need to live with and get over the way I feel about you.
Take no notice of me.

What happened to you?

What happened to you, If only I knew?
If only you could tell me.
All the time I ask myself the same question but never get any answers.
Yes' I know we wouldn't have got back together, you don't have to tell me that, all the same, we would have been great friends.
All the same, it's never been the same without your bright smiling face and crazy sense of humor.
Who would have thought we would have lost you so soon?
It makes no sense at all.
What I think is not necessary right, I know you never got over the love of your life, which isn't me.
Words can't explain how mixed my emotions are with you.


Poetry to the end.

So it's been so long since I wrote to you, had so much going on so hard to fit in.
Another year has ended and another year has started.
Another year older but hopefully another year wiser.
My handwriting is so bad as for why I type.
I feel so stuck in the mud with these dark snowy days and nights.


I'm tired.

I tired the night ends now.
No matter what you may think I'm not waiting now.
I'm just writing poetry to see the night through.
Whatever you do or don't want I will go along with you.
Just go ahead I'm off to bed, no more waiting for the green light.
I'm yet to see what happens next tomorrow.
So what you think I'm just me.


Not poetry just words and thoughts.
No poetry, no talent, just words, and thoughts.
I'm just me looking to the future to be.
If only I could what could come to me.
This isn't poetry just words in my head coming out my month on paper.


Just wanting to talk.
 Don't worry not trying to get with you, just wanting to talk to you.
Not trying to force you into anything you don't want.
Just want to be your friend.
If you don't want to talk I understand.
If you think I don't understand then I accept that even though I know how I feel but your feelings count too.
I know what it feels likes to feel lonely but then frightened to love again, trust is hard to have again.
Don't be afraid to talk to me only if you want to otherwise I will understand.
Sorry If I made you feel uncomfortable before, just concerned that's all.
It's not a problem if you don't reply unless you want to.
Been there myself and I know it's not easy.
It's not a nice feeling to not want to be alone then want to be alone.
Not sure about you but I felt there was never any winning what I did and didn't do.


Too late now.

You have never said before, no I have walked out that door and there's no going back.
Sure by now you know that but I'm trying more so to get you out of my mind.
I can only say that you played games with my mind whether you love me or not and no way I'm I putting on anyone what you did to me.
Now I have discovered a better life without you.
I wasted so many years loving you when little I realized you didn't love me at all or is it that you didn't know how to love me at all.
Therefore for you poisoned my mind and my brain saying you loved me when you didn't, how could you lie to me how you did?
Didn't know which way to turn only to learn to stop loving you, which I now have learned.
You don't and don't even want to understand how I felt but I had to learn to understand why you didn't feel the same yet when it came to the other way round different story.
You may have given me a lot of pain but then a lot of talent.

Too scared of saying the wrong thing. 

I couldn't but see that you felt used, cheated on and lied to by past lovers, I'm just concerned about you and I know I have been through the same.
Not trying to force you into anything you don't want because that's not me, I'm not that kind of person.
Guess this is hard to believe cause it's silly and we don't know one another in person.
No matter how I feel I'm asking no more than other to be your friend.
I'm not saying it for the sake it just that I know that I'm true to my word as I can be.
Sorry for been norsely but no way do you deserve to be hated and hurt.
Feel free to talk to me if you so wish.

How long is this feeling going to take to fight?

It feels so wrong yet so right and no way do I expect to feel the same about me as I do about you.
Sorry if I'm living in a dream, which doesn't seem right at my age.
It doesn't seem the right thing to do but yet it could be so hard to know.
I have no rights to make you feel the same yet I don't want to make you feel the same because I respect however you feel.
I must control those feelings shame on me.
For what I see you are a very nice guy.
I need to deal with the feelings I have for you.
How dare I feel the way I do.
I just can't expect you to feel this way too.
Hate myself for feeling like I do but nothing whatsoever against you.
Only wish how I feel would go away but all the same, I would never hate you.
I think writing like this is the only way to deal with accepting I can't have who I want in my life. which feels like should be you but should be you as strange as it may sound.
I'm torn between the feelings I have which are totally embarrassing on my part.
I know for sure I'm no liar, I'm no cheat I just feel the way I feel but there's no action and nothing to hide, torn between you and someone else in my life, which is why I wish I could fight this feeling inside of me.
How silly of me don't want to be greedy and don't want to hurt anyone.
How cowardly of me, shame on me.

20 years of published poetry to poetry of 2017.

THE HOMELESS YOUNGEST MINDS.

Nobody in my family loves me.
I know I could have been very naughty, but there is no need for my family to kick me out on the streets.
I am very frightened to go back home, but I know my family doesn't want me.
I know I made a big mistake in thinking I could cope to find my own home, I just wanted to be an adult far too quickly.
I realize now I was wrong thinking I could cope.
I can't find any food to eat, but bits and a piece of bread.
I am sleeping on the hard street floors, but some nights I sleep in cardboard boxes.

THERE ARE SO MANY LONELY PEOPLE.

In this world, we do not realize that there are so many lonely people.
These lonely get out of bed every single morning.
Living a life that seems so dull and boring.
These lonely people do not have family or friends to talk to and see.
When you see the lonely people, they seem happier than lucky us.
They have such lovely smiles on their faces.
Where these lonely people come from?
What on earth can anyone or "The Happy Society" do for them?

"The Happy Society" used be a social club for people learning disabilities. Roy Holdcoft
used to take us out to pubs, Day trips and holidays but it got too cost too much for him to keep running and us too. We used to raise money. I used to write newsletters, my ex-boyfriend Anthony used to sell them for 20p. We also had a Jumble sale, which was organized by me but we didn't get a lot out of it.

THIS IS THE REAL WORLD, NOT A DREAM WORLD.

In fairytale stories, they say you have to kiss a good many ugly frogs to find your handsome Prince.
In my case, I believe I have kissed handsome princes who have turned into ugly frogs.
Believe me, believe me not, I think my days of kissing handsome princes have gone.
Because I fear every handsome prince I kiss will turn into an ugly frog.

All the lovely things I used to dream, I thought would come true.
Now I am unhappy that everything I ever wanted hasn't happened to me and no chance will it be.
I blame myself, I fell in love far too young.
Little did I know everything was going to turn out wrong.
Now I can't love at all because I am frightened of getting hurt again.
A male and female friendship forever more.
I must keep away from those ugly frogs.

GOOD FRIENDSHIP.

This may be only friendly love, but to me, it is good enough.
I don't think you need a boyfriend and girlfriend to love.
Male and female can still share a friendship to love.
My friend will be here with you for however long you want me to be close to you.
I will never go away from you unless you want me to.
I know we have been through the same thing, I know what you are going through.
Trying to move on from the people you love or love is very hard to do, but somehow we must get on with our lives and get through.
We must try and see a future for ourselves the best way we can, but believe me, I do understand that is very hard to do but all the same, we must get through.

GUILTY AND HIDING FROM THE TRUTH.

Going quietly on people when they talk.
Never caring about people's feelings.
Lying to hide away from the truth, because the truth hurts one.
One is shamed, one is in the wrong.
For one to tell one, but to get someone else to tell one.

I LOVE YOU, DO YOU LOVE ME TOO?

Your hair is blonde, so soft and thick.
Many times I have reached out for your love to tell you.
" Darling I love you so true."
The problem is that you are not with me a lot to say.
" I love you so true too.
Now I have to wait until I see you again.

I love you so true.
I hope and pray to god that you love me too so true too, but I think or know you do.
Three little words saying I love you can make you feel so special.
So can those three little letters.
Poetry is not where I can spell those three little or big words.

LOST LOVE.

There's nothing you can do when you lose the person you love.
All you can do is learn to move on and meet a new love.
When long love is lost it's hard to move on.
No matter how hard it is you must move on.
When short love can come before you look.
It is so important to be loved.
Love can't be made unless you make it.
When love goes down the drain, it can't always be saved.
For goodness sake, you must be brave enough to love again.
Love can cause you so much anger, hurt and pain.
Sometimes it's hard to love again.
Sometimes it's hard to live without love and be lonely.
Without love in many ways, life isn't the same.

I LOVE MY MAN AND HE LOVES ME.

I love my man he loves me.
I care such a lot about him and he cares such a lot about me.
Ups and downs are to come that is part of life to be.
If it's to be it will be, if it's not to be it won't be.
I hope and pray it will be.

Upsets are sure to happen, but I hope between us we will do our very best to put whatever problem we have right.
He isn't just my lover, he is also my best friend out of all males.
I'm sure and hope that he feels the same way as I do about him.
I hope and pray that we, what future we have to be, brings us love, relationship, and friendship.

Too scared of saying and doing the wrong thing.

I know how it feels when no one can say or do anything to please.

Being hurt makes you lose faith and trust in everyone.

No one can tell you when to move on or whether you do or not but I also know how feels like to be concerned for someone as well and want to be able to do and say the right thing to them.

Sorry for been nosely, I couldn't help but see your poster saying what you had been through to find I have been through the same too, which I know too well isn't a nice place to be.

I put a message on your profile then deleted it because I was worried I may up you.

Not trying to force you into anything you don't want to, I'm not that kind of person, righty or wrongly I feel I'm getting to like you but I'm asking no than to be your friend.

I guess it's hard to believe neither of us knows one another in person. 1. 1.2018

End of 2017

Can't bring myself to say.

I can't bring myself to say, I shouldn't say, I should get over it, its' so wrong.
I feel so much guilt and so much shame.
I'm a numbers year old than you so I should be a number years wiser.
I know and accept that you don't feel the same way.
I shouldn't feel like this, I don't know you in person and we live so far away.
I just don't know why I feel this way.
You don't have to be so easy going about this.
If I write I may learn to live with this feeling inside of me.
This is not good, I can't risk losing such a great friendship.
I can't bring myself to say, hello I love you but then I shouldn't feel or say that.
This isn't real, it's just a story in my mind, it's all fiction but no dream. 9.12.2017

I thought I failed you but you failed me. 

Why didn't I walk away from you sooner?
I shouldn't have had you back.
How foolish I was to think you would change.
I had no reason to stay with you other than how I felt about, which is now nothing at all.
Don't know what got over me, I must have been out my mind.
I stopped loving you eight years ago after thirteen and a half years.
Back 2003, I felt in love someone else as well as you but I made myself get over it why didn't you?
You just went off with her but that's okay I would care now what you do, anyone is welcome to you.
I wish I would have got over you sooner not later.
No way am I getting myself down to your level. 9.10.2017

I never saw the light.

No one seemed to agree with my thoughts and as years went on, I saw the light that I was wrong and they were right.
For twelve months my head was just in the sand back between my hands in 1996 to 1997.
All I saw was a dark tunnel each hour, minute, second of every day.
No light never seemed to come my way.
Loneliness was just a cloud as couples walked passed, therefore I thought this wouldn't happen to me again.
That's how I thought my life was going to be.
Found for me to make one hard choice to love or loneliness but then I found it hard to get too close again.
I lost all trust in everyone but felt so bad for feeling this way.
I spent a lot of time worrying that I would meet the wrong person and get myself hurt again.
As right or wrong people may be, it's best to let people in these states of minds be themselves, in their own time some may see the light.
If you ask me what I think I will tell you but I will never tell you what and what not to do.
I will be there for you and I will never judge you, I know what this feels like, I have been there myself.
How can I love without been blind I used to ask myself?
I went through this fear for such a long time.
I had no trust in anyone at all yet I felt so bad about.
Therefore I left people to carry on talking and telling their thoughts, which I was blind to.
I used to think I may as well live my life in sin because I feared of getting hurt again.
Now I wouldn't say I'm one hundred percent me again but I'm ten times better than I was then.
Oh yes back then I wouldn't think I would be where I am today, which is why I would never say to anyone you will get there, I listen, understand and let them make their own choices. 11.12.2017

Late night snow. 
Only time will tell when the snow goes.
As the snow turns to water from the rain, then ice so we must think twice as the cold goes into the freezing light.
Open the curtains and blind; turn on the lights through the dark dull grey days as the dark evenings start to get close.
The morning comes to light with the sun shining down on melting the ice, though the flight over the overnight frozen ice that might bite. 9.12.2017

It seems so far away or not at all.

Never judge what it's like for people because you just don't know.
Nothing is the same for everyone.
I felt darkness that I thought was going to last forever more.
I was amazed I moved forward at all, then I saw the light coming from the dark and I just didn't feel the same for him at all like I used. 11.12.2017



You don't beat me.

Sticks and stones could throw me, say nasty words to me but no more could you ever break my bones.
Nothing you say and do anymore will never ever hurt me or kill me.
Don't try to creep with your words you will never again thrill me.
I feel nothing for you now, nothing at all.
Now you have left my mind.
Thank goodness I won't hear you or see you anymore, I don't miss you at all anymore. 12.12.2017

Anxiety going through my mind.

I lay asleep then woke up to see deep snow.
The clouds were grey with a windy wintery cold breeze of fresh.
The trees drifted into the breeze.
Although the doors were locked wind blew snow right into the countryside.
The winds blew high right across the sky.
The moon shone brightly with shining stars into the morning light.
Therefore I blew like a kite going through the light with such a fight.
There came the thundering and lighting with a fright.
There was darkness then came into the light.
It was such a very wild site into the night. 17. 12.2017

Me as I was, me as I am now. 

I was just a child with thick long brushy hair that blew with the wind.
Now my hair is as grey as hills.
Now tiredness is hitting me with the cold and the wind.
At the age of ten, I spaned my ankle running up the hill.
Winter days, winter nights and frost bites.
The skies are wintery, sients and grey as there are handy any people about because it's just too cold to go out, everywhere just comes to a standstill.
Short grey days turn to long dark of the night as the moon and stars don't shine a bright light. 17.12.2017


Just the way it is. 

Yes to my shame I feel as I do about you, never mind, I will cope to see it through.
I don't mean this in a nasty way, only that it's not fair on you that I feel this way.
I'm not forcing you to do what you don't want to, I know that you don't want me too.
Yes, I know it's wrong, mainly more so as we live so far away from one another, I shouldn't expect you to feel the same, it's my problem, not yours.
Just take no notice of me, nothing wrong with you, I'm just foolish you see, shame on me.
I have only embarrassed myself, I must and will let it pass.
I'm going to fight it, I'm no cheat but I'm just a silly old fool, I have a love that means too much for me to throw away.
I only hope someday you will meet the love that means so much to you, a sorry inconvenience I may have caused you, it's just me and my foolish mind.
Those thoughts have got to pass from me not you.
They will pass soon enough, don't worry. 18.12.2017


Your number one.

You mean too much to me to throw what we have together all away, take no notice of me, it's all passing and you may not believe me but nothing has happened.
He's just a friend, he's not interested and he lives so far away from me.
Shame me, no fault of your or his.
Even though I hardly see you at all, you are my world.
Eight years of friendship, passion, and love.
There's no way there's anyone else, I just miss you so much.
There's nothing to worry about there's just no way am I seeing him.
Sorry, I must train my foolish mind.
My age and mind should know better now, I have to control it, I will fight it. 18.12. 2017

So I need to leave you alone.

Yes I need to leave you alone, please don't be mad at me, I'm just a silly old fool you see.
Yes I know you don't need to tell me, you don't feel the same way, just take no notice of me. 18.12.2017.

What happened to you?

What happened to you?
If only you could tell me.
All the time you have gone, I've done nothing but ask myself questions that I can't answer.
Yes' I know you wouldn't have me back but I wouldn't have you back either but I wish you were living.
It's never been the same without your big smiling face and your crazy sense of humor.
Who would have thought we would lose you so soon?
Nothing seems to make sense even after seven years of you leaving this earth.
This isn't right.
I know you never got over the love of your life, which I know wasn't me.
Words could not explain how I feel about and my emotions are very mixed.
I never knew your thoughts about me, it just seemed as if you never felt the same as I did.
Okay, we tried and it didn't work but we were still very good friends to the very end. 18. 12. 2017



So I'm tired.

So I'm tired the night ends now.
What you may think is wrong so do I, don't worry I'm not waiting for you.
I'm just writing poetry so I can learn to live with my feelings and thoughts.
I need to see the light through this foolish mind of mine.
Just go ahead because I'm off to bed to face whatever happens next when I wake up.
This is not poetry, not words, not talent, just my way of living with what goes through my mind and my head.
If only I could see what's ahead of me.
I'm closing 2017 on twenty years of poetry about love, passion, romance, emotion and all of many topics; happy, sad, my way of coping the ups as well as downs in life and lives of people I know. 18.12.2017


Just waiting to talk.

Not trying to get with you.
Just want to be your friend.
Not forcing you into to anything you don't want to do.
If you don't want to talk, that's okay I understand.
If you think I don't understand, I accept that even though I know you want to be alone but then you don't.
Don't be afraid to talk to me if you want, sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable, just concerned about you that's all.
It's not a problem if you don't want to reply at all or you want to.
Been there myself and I know more than anything it's not easy.
Nothing seems to make you happy whatever you been down that road more than once and never really understood why I felt like I did.
There was no winning what I did, it just seemed as if every day was the end of me but somehow someway I got through to be still here today. 18.12.2017

It's that time of the year again.

It's that time of the year again coming to an end when you're wondering what's ahead.
Time goes too fast and neither of us is getting any younger.
Soon be January again, then soon will be the winter blues.
Depression is a sign of lowness but somehow we must get through which is easy to say if we have times we feel we can't get through.  18. 12.2017

Too late now. 

You said before that you had long walked out the door.
No' I think you will find that's the other way round because I left you in the end.
I can only say that you play mind games with my head and thank goodness I'm away from that now.
Now I have discovered my life is so better without than I ever thought it would be.
To think there was a time that you were my world and nothing else mattered now I don't want to be anywhere near you and I don't feel a damn thing for you.
Now I give a damn what you think of me now because you know that when I loved so much, you never gave damn what I thought of you.
Never thought I'd stop feeling the way I did because I loved you for so long but when I realized you didn't really love me because you kept changing your mind whether you loved me or not so you didn't love me at all.
Once I stopped loving you that's when you decide loved me after all, I don't need to have someone else in my life to tell you that it's too late for you to even try to love me again whether I'm on my own or not.
Since I have discovered my life without you, I realized how many years of my life I waste been with a man who didn't me at all but really pretended he did.
You once poisoned my brain but now you don't hurt me anymore.
I didn't know what direction to turn.
You just wouldn't understand and believe me I don't want you to because it's too late for that Ant.
With a lot of counseling and writing, a lot of poetry has helped through this damn mess you put me but others may find others ways of trying to move on from people who don't know what they want like you.  13. 12. 2017