Personal Care for with disabilities.

The sort and amount of personal care a person may need may vary from person to person depending the disabilities, health problems or and etc they may face which also can vary as well. By knowing people's needs as a Learning Disability Nurse you should know if the person can be in their own place with the right support, which could be from family or and services or and care homes etc.
This help and support may vary from needing help in the bath, shower etc to just say needing help with cutting nails. The person's needs may vary to just a few things to lots of things which can vary from person to person.
Make an information accessible for the person, before doing so ask them what's accessible to them which might be, easy read instructions large print, clear pictures etc. 

Do they need help and support with just a a few of these things or to lots?

1. Bathing / showing
2. Washing
3. shaving
4. dressing / undressing
5. cutting nails
6. Little or and many more 

How can these health problems be not much different to one another?

A fit and a panic attack are both to do with the nevus system, which people can very easily confuse one with the other. This can also be confusing for the person who is facing the fit, panic attack or even both. For example what I have faced.

·       Headaches

·       Dizziness

·       Choking or even a sense of choking, it’s a feeling as if someone has got their hands around my neck.

·       Electric shocks, pins, and needles through my spine arms and legs.  

      Shaking

 

·       Going hot and cold

·       Fully aware of what’s going on.

This is an example of how all these things can get confused with one another.

Anxiety.  A sense of panic, fear and or anger whether there’s a reason or not. Like all health problems, it can depend on how we manage the health problems. Those of us like me who have had these health problems manage them in a different way than what we did to start off with.

As it’s possible I may have had ADHD as a child it could be possible it could be a major form of Anxiety. Most children pull a screaming and kicking temper paddies in town for example at times but it can depend on how often. If this happens to your child a lot and I mean a lot then they may need to get checked and diagnosed. Something may be happening your child may not be able to explain also they may be in fear that you may not understand. Maybe they don’t know themselves, which can be very furstraighting this can also be fearful and scary whether there’s a reason to be or not. ADHD can be some form of Autism as well.

A mild form Anxiety can be the same as major fearing things are worse than what they are but can be in different ways.  For example different people you different thing on one thing a person may want to know so that person may get easily get confused.

Most people may get upset easily upset caused by negative situations such as a death of people they know or they may a relationship breakup which we all have to face but we all get affected in different ways. Some people come to terms with these things quicker than others but people with health problems and disabilities mostly tend to be more sensitive and tend to be slower to come to terms with these kinds of issues.

Some people can be also nervous of exams and even taking their driving test for example. This can depend on how often a person is nervous and maybe depending what situations they are nervous of. People can get nervous over negative and positive things which can be a sense a fear, excitement, whether something is going to be good or bad news like exams for eg;

Some people have fears of forgetting things mainly when it comes to important things. Even if you have got things ready beforehand you want to make. You fear just in case you forget something important. In fact, people who suffer from Anxiety are likely to forget less time than people who don’t have Anxiety cause we are always worrying about forgetting. In fact what we have to remember is always on our minds until whatever event is over. You are saying to yourself, have I remembered it when you get there where you are going and whatever you need whatever for.

Anger is part of Anxiety. Anger is a feeling you get whether there’s a reason or not. It can be a feeling of anger, worry, stress, and tension yet all of those things can just happen. This is because those things are linked to Anxiety. This is where we need exercises to loosen our muscles up but this may not work for all of us. It’s possible that all these words like anger, worry, stress, and tension get confused easily because there’s not much difference between the meanings of the words. When we face these feelings it tends to feel the same feeling. These feelings don’t need a reason to happen.

Depression.  It’s the same with depression a feeling of sadness that comes on whether there’s a reason to be sad or not.

 It’s hard to know whether these health problems are illnesses or conditions, I don’t anyone knows for such.

One always says that’s it best to keep the mind and body busy but that works for some people not for others. Many people tell people who suffer from Anxiety and depression that it’s all in the mind.

In my case, I can go from losing interest in what I am normally interested into climbing the walls when I have nothing going on in my life. I can feel angrily, sad, down, stressed, depressed, worried and etc for a reason and no reason at all.

I have so many thoughts in my head I very rarely talk about or I don’t talk about them at all such as feeling as if life isn't worth living. I try very hard to fight those thoughts, which isn't easy. It could be for the silliest reasons or yet again no reason at all. Professions advise this that and the other but these things are there to try. What works for one person doesn't for the other. That could mean exercises, diet and many things that may keep the mind and body busy.

Like for example for me and for those of you who have read my website will know my poetry helps my Anxiety and Depression in the sense of anger and sadness when comes to relationship breakups for example or someone who I know who has died.

Introduction to User Friendly.

Referral back to the first year when we went through what disabilities etc are and how they affect people's lives from everyday lives like shopping, cooking, washing, ironing etc to personal care showing, bathing, washing, cleaning teeth, dressing etc.
What have you learned so far?
How would you support people facing those problems?
What disabilities etc have you learned about so far and what do you need to learn about to be a learning disabilities nurse and how disabilities etc affect lives?
It's not just disabilities you need to learn about other problems people may face like Mental health such as Anxiety and Depression is most common with and without disabilities etc.
What about your life? How would you compare that with the help and support people with disabilities etc need? Put yourself in the shoes those people who face those problems, image yourself in that type of situation how would you cope with that?

A Bit About Me.

All these mental health problems can get confused because there's not much different from one another. I guess I could have either one to all of those as I have suffered from either one to all for forty-eight years nearly, which is from birth. The last seizure I had four years ago this is what I have faced on and off through my life. 

Through the side effects of my medication Phenobarbital, I was put on as a baby and child, which caused me to be moody and hyperactive. The moods could come on any time due to the fact I found it hard to sleep at night I was overtired. Yet strangely the daytime I was dreamy, in a world of my own and unaware of the world around me. For example, even at the age of twelve, I was a dangerous hazard to cross the road.

I couldn't pay attention to my school work. I was always classed as thick, lazy and told I’d never get along in life.  I think at that point in my life I was suffering from ADHD.  I left school believing I wouldn't get anywhere in life. I left school believing at first that I would not get anywhere in life but then I was gladder to leave school. Near enough every school I went to I faced bullying, rape and sexual abuse from a lot of children in the schools.  From after I left school twenty – seven years ago I have proved myself wrong by achieving the things I have said I have achieved like the exams I have passed in college, the awareness of learning disability and mental health, Advocacy, short stories and poetry which is all on my website sararevealed.blogspot.com/ email sarajgorman@gmail.com

What is Anxiety and Depression?

Anxiety is a form of stress, worry, and or anger where someone can over think and fear something is a lot worse than it is, how they react to life mainly negatives they face compare to those who don't face Anxiety. For eg: benefit changes waiting to know if they are going to get PIP or not. Name something else that might that make people more stressed, worried and or and even angry than others!

Depression is a feeling of sadness whether there's a reason or not which can vary from person to person.

I'm writing an awareness because of Depression been a very serious hidden Mental health problem health problem, which is a feeling a lot of people don't understand. The reason why it's hard to understand is because of each and every person faces it differently. Some feel sad without a reason, others with and others it can be both meaning one or the other, which can be each day, night or it can change during the day or and night.

Depression is serious whatever time of year but for a lot of people Autumn to Winter, which is one of the reasons why I'm writing this awareness. Never think Depression is someone who is looking sad all the while but never thinks just because someone is looking happy is happy. Also, never think that they never happy either. Depression is part of people with Depression, it's not all ways, we don't purposely change, we are what and how we are to how we are feeling. For eg; going from feeling like doing everything to feeling like doing nothing. However' not everyone is the same so don't think because are two different people that neither one of them don't face depression. It's mostly because it's always there with us and everyone's way of managing it is different.

Some of us sleep too much, not enough or for others one could change to the other, the same with eating and others things. Many people have even misunderstood people for being lazy, which is not the case. some people can go from losing motivation to having a lot of it, again others have one or the other and others can change to one to the other, the same with self - esteem, self-confidence etc. From losing faith in ourselves to thinking positive, all according to how people are feeling.

Never the less these health problems are not much different to one another. Anxiety is a feeling of anger, panic, and fear whether a person has a reason to feel that way or not. Depression is a feeling of sadness whether a person has a reason to feel sad or not. Epilepsy and panic attacks are not that much different to one another either. Worry is connected to stress which is anxiety when a person gets upset easily.  Can all those health problems be linked or and even be misunderstood?  

2018 to 2019 poems 2

You never thought I'd leave, did you?

What goes around comes around.

When I said one day I was going to leave, you didn't believe me, did you?
You thought and you hoped I was lieing, how wrong were you?
Although you never said anything I know that's what you were thinking so you could spend forever playing games with my mind.
You just thought I was weak enough to stop in your life forever and accepted it when you decided when the relationship was on and when it was off.
Okay, it took me a long time to leave you but I left you.
I know when I was gone you wanted me back in your life but no because you won't see me again.
It's too late for you to say sorry beg for forgiveness now. 3.2.2019


I have long gone now.

I realized you were the wrong person for me but now I have met the right person.
I realized how much time I wasted with you without knowing you didn't really love me, you only pretended to, now I don't love you anymore either.

I find so many years later I meet someone twice to three times the man you were and probable still are.
You have done far too much damage for me to ever like or love you again, in fact I just hate you so much for what you did to me and for quite some years now I have been out your life.
I love a grown man not a grown boy who plays with his toys.
You can't play games with my thoughts, feelings and mind now cause I'm out your life for good.
There's no going back, coming and looking back, it's far too late to say your sorry now.
Sorry but I don't regret walking away from you it's the best thing I ever did, the worst was to go with you and give you a second chance after you dumped me the first time then you dumped me again.
Mo more crying, no more sleepless nights and no more wasting my time over you.
No more headaches and heartaches over you.
No more hanging around waiting for you to love me then not to love me.
I haven't done so for some years and I don't intend to again.
Since I wrote one of my poems about you back in Feb 2009, I haven't felt any love for you since.
Now I love someone who loves me ten times more than you.
He doesn't play games with my mind and he doesn't waste my time.

I realized what a fool I was to go with you all those years.
When we broke up the first and the second time I saw no light at the end of the tunnel, I thought I would never anyone else again but I was wrong.
In the end I did what I said I was going to do, which was walking away from you for good, which I should have done a long time before.    3.2.2019
 

Poems 2018 to 2019

How long can I keep fighting this feeling with myself?

It feels so wrong of me because I don't expect you to feel the same way or and you don't.
Don't you feel guilty or ashamed I should accept you don't feel the same which I do even though I have feelings inside of me, which is guilt when I shouldn't?

Trying not to feel this way is such a challenge for me but that's not your problem, I need to learn to not feel this way.
I have no rights to force you into what and who you don't want, which I won't do.
How dare I?
Those feelings I must control.
I need to deal with my feelings.
I'm no spoiled child who excepts to get her own way.
Not that you're not a nice guy, I just need to accept that you don't feel same as I do.
I just can't explain why I feel this way.

I feel a lot of shame on me yet no shame at all. 

I feel shame for how I feel but I haven't done anything.
All the same, I feel shame even though there's no action made, it's just the way I feel inside for you make me feel ashamed because there's no reason why you should or shouldn't feel the same for me.
I wish this feeling would go away but I have no reason to hate you either.
Just so sorry, it's so unfair on you when all you want from me are friends.
Must deal with this in my own way without saying anything to you, just write about it.
I'm torn between the two of you but there's no action yet I feel like a fool because I don't want to hurt anyone yet I'm hurting myself, feeling like this feels so wrong even though only one of you feel the same.
How silly to try and fight when I have someone in my life already, I have no intentions of lying, cheating or playing around its just feel I need to deal with to decide one way or the other, then the choice is already been made for me when one feels the same and the other doesn't.

It's been a long end of the road.

I walked out your life so long ago.
How I have had a lucky espace even though I should have walked away a lot longer before I did.
You hurt me so much to a point it cut me up like a knife.
Now you don't stop me what I don't want to do.
You don't put me off trying anything I want to try.
Now slowly I'm building trust in others.
Now your history, anything I do has no business of yours, you have no control over me no more.
your excuses were always your past so you used to say and I guess both of us were to blame for that, which is why you should stay single until your ready to not take out on others what you have been through.
You don't abuse to abuse, how dare you.
Try to put yourself in someone else's shoes but now I guess it's too late for you to learn that now!

You are who you are, just be yourself.

My mistake was I gave too many chances but no more.
I spent too much time blaming myself cause many of my ex's never admitted their faults.
So Dad, choose your drugs over your kids and just walk away, will you!
 No one is born to deserve you turning your back.
You messed my mind up as a kid wondering who you really were till I saw you when I was twenty - one.
It's hard to understand why I broke down over you feeling as if you didn't want me but then don't worry I got used to you not been there.
For a long time, it ripped my mind apart but not anymore.
Here I'm fighting Mental abuse from a man who I thought loved me for 13 and a half years but then, in the end, all that was a lie.
The best thing I ever did was walk away from him.
None of you have still dragged me to the ground, I'm still alive.
I never understood why I had such a break down over you.

So much has made me change my mind and feelings about you.

I used to think that you made me feel sick with guilt inside but years went by realizing that I'm not the only one to blame it's you.
It was never your fault was it, it was always mine every single time in your eyes?
You let me down so bad and you taught me a lesson, that lesson was that your not the man for me.
The only thing I can thank you for is making me strong.
Thank you for driving me away from you.
May have taken a long time but I have done it and finally saw the light at the end of the tunnel.
Thank you for letting me find myself again.
All I need to do now is fight the memories away I had with you.
None of your business whether I'm with anyone else or not.
I won't be sad no more from you, the only sad person is you for letting me go.
Who made out you loved me but really you never did.
You only have yourself to blame.
The only way I feel sorry for you is not in an emotional way but only that you throw away those who really loved you, I was one of them or the only one and now I hate you.
You never knew where your bread was buttered.
So you made your bed so you lye in it.

so unknown yet again.

So I believe there's no perfect life and we can't except either.
No one is happy all the time but no should be sad all the time either.
Wake up from your silly dream Sara, it's just going to happen least you don't think it is.
You can't force someone to love you who doesn't no matter how much you want them.
You need to accept what life throws at you whether you like it or not.
Patience is the word, who knows what's round the condor and who, don't chase it and don't think about it.
You know you have learned hard way no matter how hard it hurts.
We are all sensitive in our way, stop acting like a spoiled child!
You know you can't have your own way.
Keep writing the poems, like lines I mustn't have feelings for this man, he's not interested in me!
Emotions are sensitive to accept how life is but must learn.

I say no more.  

I say no more, you most likely have a rough idea even though I only made you aware once.
I don't say a lot about because I know you don't feel the same way, that's okay the shame is on me not you.
I don't expect to feel the same as I do, please say if you do.
I'm a big girl now, I can take it like a woman.
Can't expect things to go my way all the while, I'm no spoiled child.
I'm no special and I understand other reasons for what you told me which I know aren't about me, I respect you too much to say why you don't feel about me in the same way.
I would never expect you to believe I understand even though I do cause I have been through the same too.
I don't except anything off you more than just friends even though I feel more, this is my own problem feeling the way I do not yours, but no way is it against you are far too special to me for that.
They say if you love someone let them go, which is true but very hard to do.
If only for your sake I didn't feel as I do, as you don't feel the same this is not fair on you to have me pestering you.
Never feel bad about not feeling the same way, it's me who should and does the other way round.
Never try to be anyone but yourself.
It's for me to deal with, you have no shame, no guilt only I do, not that you're a very nice guy cause you are which is why I feel as I do because don't have to feel the same, no reason why you should or shouldn't.

I try not to feel this way about you but I do.

Just can't put my finger on why I like you so much.
Ir seems so wrong because I don't expect you to feel the same way, which is really why I find it hard to tell you how I feel and that I don't want to force you to feel the same as I do.
Therefore this is for me to cope not you, not your problem at all but mine because you don't have to feel the same way unless you do.
Only I have to put these feelings behind me.
Somehow I have to work on that because somehow I know it's not going to happen even though I hope I'm wrong.
Just ever so often I ask myself so many unanswered questions that can't be answered, which I don't even know how to answer myself.
It's just a shame we don't live near to one another but then it may be just as well, not sure whether or not I could keep to myself if I was to see you, I wouldn't want to make you feel as if you have to be with me if you don't want to be.
Only sorry for feeling the way I do but like I said you don't have to feel the same unless you do and want to.
The feeling of guilt is just way too much for me, which I feel whether it's right or wrong.
Don't expect to believe this because you don't know me like I know me naturally, know you didn't say I was or wasn't I'm no cheat, lier etc that doesn't mean you have to want me.
I know you don't feel this way which is okay, why should the world be around me, it shouldn't be?
I can't expect everything to go my way.
Another reason why I haven't said much to you is that you're just far too special to me, I'm eight years older than you is one of the reasons why I don't expect you to be interested in me, only if you are.


How do I know?

Why didn't you travel in the same transport as me even though you weren't stopping the night with me?
So you met her when she said she was with someone else.
Would you have gone with her if she was interested in you?
Why do I feel like a rebound because she wants to be with someone else?
Here I go again letting you men walk over me, I'm getting too old for this now.
Had enough don't know how much I can take of this before I break.
I shouldn't feel sorry for myself I know, who going to love me for me for once?
Almost as if I have lost my figure and my looks yet when I had those I was used and abused by a good many of my ex's.
Heading to 50s it feels as if nothing is left.
Don't want you to feel sorry for me, just be honest with me if you love me for me.
I once thought I had the world at my feet but I was with users and abusers who never really loved me.
I want to be able to forget the past and the bad boys just bring one good man.
Go away bad boys you did me no good.
Here's to you whoever you may be.
I know you are there and I know your hiding somewhere from me, wherever you may be Mr. Right to be.


























































































































































































How long can I keep fighting this feeling with myself?

It feels so wrong of me because I don't expect you to feel the same way or and you don't.
Don't you feel guilty or ashamed I should accept you don't feel the same which I do even though I have feelings inside of me, which is guilt when I shouldn't?

Trying not to feel this way is such a challenge for me but that's not your problem, I need to learn to not feel this way.
I have no rights to force you into what and who you don't want, which I won't do.
How dare I?
Those feelings I must control.
I need to deal with my feelings.
I'm no spoiled child who excepts to get her own way.
Not that you're not a nice guy, I just need to accept that you don't feel same as I do.
I just can't explain why I feel this way.

I feel a lot of shame on me yet no shame at all. 

I feel shame for how I feel but I haven't done anything.
All the same, I feel shame even though there's no action made, it's just the way I feel inside for you make me feel ashamed because there's no reason why you should or shouldn't feel the same for me.
I wish this feeling would go away but I have no reason to hate you either.
Just so sorry, it's so unfair on you when all you want from me are friends.
Must deal with this in my own way without saying anything to you, just write about it.
I'm torn between the two of you but there's no action yet I feel like a fool because I don't want to hurt anyone yet I'm hurting myself, feeling like this feels so wrong even though only one of you feel the same.
How silly to try and fight when I have someone in my life already, I have no intentions of lying, cheating or playing around its just feel I need to deal with to decide one way or the other, then the choice is already been made for me when one feels the same and the other doesn't.

It's been a long end of the road.

I walked out your life so long ago.
How I have had a lucky espace even though I should have walked away a lot longer before I did.
You hurt me so much to a point it cut me up like a knife.
Now you don't stop me what I don't want to do.
You don't put me off trying anything I want to try.
Now slowly I'm building trust in others.
Now your history, anything I do has no business of yours, you have no control over me no more.
your excuses were always your past so you used to say and I guess both of us were to blame for that, which is why you should stay single until your ready to not take out on others what you have been through.
You don't abuse to abuse, how dare you.
Try to put yourself in someone else's shoes but now I guess it's too late for you to learn that now!

You are who you are, just be yourself.

My mistake was I gave too many chances but no more.
I spent too much time blaming myself cause many of my ex's never admitted their faults.
So Dad, choose your drugs over your kids and just walk away, will you!
 No one is born to deserve you turning your back.
You messed my mind up as a kid wondering who you really were till I saw you when I was twenty - one.
It's hard to understand why I broke down over you feeling as if you didn't want me but then don't worry I got used to you not been there.
For a long time, it ripped my mind apart but not anymore.
Here I'm fighting Mental abuse from a man who I thought loved me for 13 and a half years but then, in the end, all that was a lie.
The best thing I ever did was walk away from him.
None of you have still dragged me to the ground, I'm still alive.
I never understood why I had such a break down over you.

So much has made me change my mind and feelings about you.

I used to think that you made me feel sick with guilt inside but years went by realizing that I'm not the only one to blame it's you.
It was never your fault was it, it was always mine every single time in your eyes?
You let me down so bad and you taught me a lesson, that lesson was that your not the man for me.
The only thing I can thank you for is making me strong.
Thank you for driving me away from you.
May have taken a long time but I have done it and finally saw the light at the end of the tunnel.
Thank you for letting me find myself again.
All I need to do now is fight the memories away I had with you.
None of your business whether I'm with anyone else or not.
I won't be sad no more from you, the only sad person is you for letting me go.
Who made out you loved me but really you never did.
You only have yourself to blame.
The only way I feel sorry for you is not in an emotional way but only that you throw away those who really loved you, I was one of them or the only one and now I hate you.
You never knew where your bread was buttered.
So you made your bed so you lye in it.

so unknown yet again.

So I believe there's no perfect life and we can't except either.
No one is happy all the time but no should be sad all the time either.
Wake up from your silly dream Sara, it's just going to happen least you don't think it is.
You can't force someone to love you who doesn't no matter how much you want them.
You need to accept what life throws at you whether you like it or not.
Patience is the word, who knows what's round the condor and who, don't chase it and don't think about it.
You know you have learned hard way no matter how hard it hurts.
We are all sensitive in our way, stop acting like a spoiled child!
You know you can't have your own way.
Keep writing the poems, like lines I mustn't have feelings for this man, he's not interested in me!
Emotions are sensitive to accept how life is but must learn.

I say no more.  

I say no more, you most likely have a rough idea even though I only made you aware once.
I don't say a lot about because I know you don't feel the same way, that's okay the shame is on me not you.
I don't expect to feel the same as I do, please say if you do.
I'm a big girl now, I can take it like a woman.
Can't expect things to go my way all the while, I'm no spoiled child.
I'm no special and I understand other reasons for what you told me which I know aren't about me, I respect you too much to say why you don't feel about me in the same way.
I would never expect you to believe I understand even though I do cause I have been through the same too.
I don't except anything off you more than just friends even though I feel more, this is my own problem feeling the way I do not yours, but no way is it against you are far too special to me for that.
They say if you love someone let them go, which is true but very hard to do.
If only for your sake I didn't feel as I do, as you don't feel the same this is not fair on you to have me pestering you.
Never feel bad about not feeling the same way, it's me who should and does the other way round.
Never try to be anyone but yourself.
It's for me to deal with, you have no shame, no guilt only I do, not that you're a very nice guy cause you are which is why I feel as I do because don't have to feel the same, no reason why you should or shouldn't.

I try not to feel this way about you but I do.

Just can't put my finger on why I like you so much.
Ir seems so wrong because I don't expect you to feel the same way, which is really why I find it hard to tell you how I feel and that I don't want to force you to feel the same as I do.
Therefore this is for me to cope not you, not your problem at all but mine because you don't have to feel the same way unless you do.
Only I have to put these feelings behind me.
Somehow I have to work on that because somehow I know it's not going to happen even though I hope I'm wrong.
Just ever so often I ask myself so many unanswered questions that can't be answered, which I don't even know how to answer myself.
It's just a shame we don't live near to one another but then it may be just as well, not sure whether or not I could keep to myself if I was to see you, I wouldn't want to make you feel as if you have to be with me if you don't want to be.
Only sorry for feeling the way I do but like I said you don't have to feel the same unless you do and want to.
The feeling of guilt is just way too much for me, which I feel whether it's right or wrong.
Don't expect to believe this because you don't know me like I know me naturally, know you didn't say I was or wasn't I'm no cheat, lier etc that doesn't mean you have to want me.
I know you don't feel this way which is okay, why should the world be around me, it shouldn't be?
I can't expect everything to go my way.
Another reason why I haven't said much to you is that you're just far too special to me, I'm eight years older than you is one of the reasons why I don't expect you to be interested in me, only if you are.


How do I know?

Why didn't you travel in the same transport as me even though you weren't stopping the night with me?
So you met her when she said she was with someone else.
Would you have gone with her if she was interested in you?
Why do I feel like a rebound because she wants to be with someone else?
Here I go again letting you men walk over me, I'm getting too old for this now.
Had enough don't know how much I can take of this before I break.
I shouldn't feel sorry for myself I know, who going to love me for me for once?
Almost as if I have lost my figure and my looks yet when I had those I was used and abused by a good many of my ex's.
Heading to 50s it feels as if nothing is left.
Don't want you to feel sorry for me, just be honest with me if you love me for me.
I once thought I had the world at my feet but I was with users and abusers who never really loved me.
I want to be able to forget the past and the bad boys just bring one good man.
Go away bad boys you did me no good.
Here's to you whoever you may be.
I know you are there and I know your hiding somewhere from me, wherever you may be Mr. Right to be.


YOU NEVER THOUGHT I'D LEAVE YOU, DID YOU?

What goes around comes around.

When I said that one day I was going to leave you, althought you didn't say anything. I knew you didn;t beleve me, you thought I was lieing cause I told so long to leave you.
I think you also thought I was weak because I took so long to leave you but I left you in the end and I'm never coming back because I feeling nothing for you no more.
I wasn't having enough of your mind games you were playing with mind, wanting me one minute and not the next.
Okay, it took me long but I'm so glad I left you.
I know when I was gone and still gone you wanted me back but too late to be sorry now, I have met someone twice the man you are and have never changes his mind from wanting me to not wanting me.
You won't see me again like you haven't done so for 7 years, it's far too late to be sorry now. 3.2.2019


I HAVE LONG GONE NOW.

I reliesed you were the wrong person for me but now I have met the right person.
I realised how much time I wasted with you because you only pertended to love me.
You have done far too much damage for me to like and love you agin which means and I can be your lover or friend because I hate you so much now, I have done for a number of years.
I love a grown up man now not a grown up boy.
You can't play games with my thoughts, feelings and mind now.
I have made up my mind for you whether you like it or not, which means I'm out your life for good.
There's no going back, coming back and looking back.
Sorry I don't regret walking away from you and I don't need to be sorry and I don't want your sorry, I don't give you forgiveness and you have no forgiveness from me either.
I waste no more time crying over you, no more time losing any sleep over you.
No more headaches and heartaches from you thank goodness.
No more hanging around for someone who doesn't love me waiting for him to change his mind cause I don't love you either.
I haven't loved you now for quite some years and I don't intend to ever again.

Since I wrote poem to you on the 3rd Feb 2009, I haven't loved you since.
Now I love someone new who doesn't play with my mind.
He doesn't waste my time.

I realise what a fool I was to be with you for years.
When we broke up I couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel, I couldn't see me moving forward and being happy again and in the end I walked away from you like I told you I was going to, even though it took me long enough. 3.2.2019