Sunday, 19 August 2007

IN A DREAM WORLD

ME AGE 13 WITH MY BABY SISTER HOLLY
I was born mildly brain damaged and had fits from birth. The tablets I was taking since birth were very strong and caused me to be in a dream world. My mother weaned me off the tablets when I was about 12yrs old and I didn't have another fit until 20 years later. I was hyperactive and I was autistic, I was awake all night but I was in another world in the day. This is why I wasn’t very successful at school, I heard people’s voices but I didn’t understand them.
I had very bad temper tantrums that made life even harder for my family. I was seeking attention without realising or even meaning to. I was very lucky to have a family who persevered with me until I did understand how to do something.
My Mother tried to get help, in those days it was hard to find, she was on the verge of a nervous breakdown until an educational psychologist observed me for a week in my primary school.
During my adulthood I have realised that there are others in my shoes and some a lot worse. During my childhood I felt like the odd one out, I felt as if some people were making fun of me. I was unaware that I wasn’t the only one; it was as if people thought I was thick. Now I know it only seemed that way, I don’t think I was the odd one out but I thought I was. In those days it felt like no-one had the time to give someone like myself one chance, they didn’t seem to understand I couldn't master things first time. It is very hard to explain to people who don’t have these problems, unless they have these problems themselves. On the other hand I always believe there are always plenty of people worse off than you.
For me now it isn’t as bad as what it used to be because I hear about a lot more support and things now than what there used be. I think there is still a lot to understand still about being disabled, we will never know everything.

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