It's hard for people like myself with autism to able to explain and express ourselves, our meanings, our feelings, our thoughts and etc. It's hard for not - disabled people to understand us.
We can suffer from behavior problems mostly during childhood because we feel as if we feel we can't make ourselves understood. I cannot say that we grow out of being misunderstood but the older we get, we get better to what we were. Once have we have achieved more skills, we start to to feel more equal to non - disabled people. This can start to happen from teenage yrs going into adulthood. we start to feel better in ourselves. The behavior problems get less so we get less angry with people around us and ourselves. All through my adulthood, I have learned to accept myself as I am.
what I went through was during school for eg I couldn't tie my shoelaces. The children didn't understand why I couldn't tie my shoelaces neither did I, this was one of the reasons I got bullied. It can get to you, it can make you feel the odd one out to others. When you are a child it's the worse time to feel like the odd one out. Life is only just beginning for you, you're trying to learn about life in order to get on with it. The fight is that you have Autism getting in your way, once you get used to it and not let Autism come between you, you're on your ways being equal to everyone.
There again you become stronger in your own mind as an adult. You get used to people taking the mickey out of your disability when you have been through it so many times but it shouldn't have been that way. That's life that's the way it is. Mind you thank goodness, I haven't had to live with bullying as much through my adulthood, as much as I did through my childhood. Like I said Mencap is worried about people with disabilities all ages getting bullied. People should accept us the way we are or not at all.
When we are children we don't understand that non - disabled people don't understand us, it upsets us and confuses us. We can kick, punch, scream and etc. With the right support and punishment, most of us can get by. We may not like been punished during childhood but we are thankful for it when we become adults. I was taught right from wrong but my family didn't have any support so it got too much for them but somehow, someway they got by. Now the government hasn't made it very easy for parents to punish children so they need twice as much support when they have got children with Autism. I guess when it comes to behavior problems, it's hard for families to know what is part of their Autism or what part is just being naughty. Another reason it's hard in all fairness no believes in beating a child but also not letting them get away with what they want. Children twice as much hard work, with screaming, biting and that makes them twice as naughty, even though they are upset because they find hard to do things at the same speed as not - disabled children. It's hard to get that balance, isn't it?
I have to admit I am out of date with how things are for families who have children with Autism today. All years I have been an adult, I have lost track. How do families cope now? Maybe things have improved, maybe they get things to relax them to calm the behavior problems down. What I experienced was that I was very tense when I started a Paddie and I think I even had panic attacks when I ended a Paddie. I can never understand now, why we get in such a state so easily if we can't achieve what we want to but I had to learn that I could get my own way. Yet I remember feeling so guilty afterward. Maybe also it could be to do with diet, years ago families weren't educated to know about these things. If you have a child or children with Autism. Well, admire you if you have children with Autism because one child with Autism is hard work. Please send me an email, I'd be interested to hear your story, how do you cope? Facebook sarajgorman@gmail.com. I could even get some support off Mencap for you if you want or even may be supported elsewhere. It's possible you know some children, teenagers and or adults with Autism who need some support in some way too. Whatever the situation with Autism I'd be happy to hear from you, I'd be happy to support or an even find support for you.
Children aren't punished like they were well over twenty years ago. Now it's twice as hard for parents who have children with autism. It could be pretty much the same for parents with children who have other disabilities or even not - disabled children.
Once I realized it wasn't always possible to achieve the skills I wanted in one day, I found in my own speed I achieved them. In the days I couldn't be accepted I had disabilities, it took me even longer to achieve the skills. The angrier I got with myself the worst it got. In the end, I never gave up on myself, I found a way of achieving what I wanted. Like I said though, if people think we're useless, they haven't got the time of day for us and people who give up on us that will make us twice as angry, it also take a long time to accept.If not days or month, it could be years.
Saying that like I said, we don't give up, we will always find a way of being taught the skills that are possible for us to learn. If you give up on us, you could make it twice as hard work on a people who teach us in future. They could be people who won't and don't want to give up on people with disabilities. Like I say it could take a lot out of that person with disabilities to trust people who really will teach them. I guess a good many people who have tried to teach me and given up on me have made it twice as hard work for people who wanted to teach me.
Another reason for most of us with Autism to have behavior problems can't always do most things for things for themselves, it can make us feel guilty and silly in front of people. Either the not - disabled people haven't got very long to show us with autism the skill they need or and want to learn. Some people may not be the people to support people with disabilities if that's the case be truthful with us. Don't help us if you don't want to help us. If we are not happy, we can sense people who do and do not want help us. I If feel as if somebody doesn't want to help me that can be one of my reasons why I may not feel good about myself. It's same for others with disabilities We can also feel disliked.
People like ourselves and the people who are supporting us have learned if we have an unsuccessful day one day, tomorrow is another day. I know tomorrow isn't always possible but whatever day for me, as long as I'm free. How other people like myself is them but this is me. I used to get very upset if I didn't achieve the skill in one day but I had to learn that wasn't always the way. If you can encourage the person with Autism to learn to wait for that next day or whenever, well that's better support than what I used to have. If you find they have had an enough of trying the same thing too for long, they will see enough is enough in their own time. Saying that you will need to be strong enough to tell them enough, we will try again next time whenever that is. I will understand you may well have had enough mainly if you haven't got all day. Maybe you've shown someone ten times over again. I can see it from both sides of the coin.
Sometimes we may not admit how we really feel because we want to end the day with a smile on our faces. That's one the reasons why we feel down if we haven't achieved what we want to in that day. Saying that like me today, we accept one day, learning in one day isn't always possible. It's up to you to be able to be strong enough to accept that's the way people with autism can be. It's also up to you to help us to accept things too. If your a person who gets upset very easily too that's not been strong that's not being strong for people with Autism. We won't feel very good or strong in ourselves otherwise. Let us know you haven't given up on them but it's been a long day, see you tomorrow or whenever. Try to be as understanding as possible because people like us can feel dislikes if people think we're useless and not worth teaching. We can feel as if we have done something wrong and we can think your not happy with us, it's up to you to tell the person with autism that your not cross with them but well done for trying today because trying is what we have achieved. Most people used to say me.
"Trying is not good enough."
People shouldn't tell them that they aren't good enough because otherwise, they won't feel as if they have any strong points at all, that's how sensitive people with autism can be. I know I said it's made me a stronger person but also at the same time it takes while understanding that things have moved on to what they were and I have a bit support. For eg, if you have been punished for making mistakes, it's too easy to think that everyone is going to be the same towards. I have got over that a bit I still there's a long way to go. As support gets better I will start to feel better in myself. In fact, I think that is the same for everyone really. It may take them a while to accept that we are not useless if we have been told by too many people that we are useless, I know as I say that's happened to me. We can also prove you wrong if we achieve skills that you don't we'll ever achieve. I want them to be able to trust you. I don't them finding hard to trust people's support during adulthood or even childhood and teenage years. I have learned that it can take years to feel you can trust that someone won't give up on you. If people in past can put the fear of God in you for most of you but in years to come you do move on. You will always have a long way to go though.
We can suffer from behavior problems mostly during childhood because we feel as if we feel we can't make ourselves understood. I cannot say that we grow out of being misunderstood but the older we get, we get better to what we were. Once have we have achieved more skills, we start to to feel more equal to non - disabled people. This can start to happen from teenage yrs going into adulthood. we start to feel better in ourselves. The behavior problems get less so we get less angry with people around us and ourselves. All through my adulthood, I have learned to accept myself as I am.
what I went through was during school for eg I couldn't tie my shoelaces. The children didn't understand why I couldn't tie my shoelaces neither did I, this was one of the reasons I got bullied. It can get to you, it can make you feel the odd one out to others. When you are a child it's the worse time to feel like the odd one out. Life is only just beginning for you, you're trying to learn about life in order to get on with it. The fight is that you have Autism getting in your way, once you get used to it and not let Autism come between you, you're on your ways being equal to everyone.
There again you become stronger in your own mind as an adult. You get used to people taking the mickey out of your disability when you have been through it so many times but it shouldn't have been that way. That's life that's the way it is. Mind you thank goodness, I haven't had to live with bullying as much through my adulthood, as much as I did through my childhood. Like I said Mencap is worried about people with disabilities all ages getting bullied. People should accept us the way we are or not at all.
When we are children we don't understand that non - disabled people don't understand us, it upsets us and confuses us. We can kick, punch, scream and etc. With the right support and punishment, most of us can get by. We may not like been punished during childhood but we are thankful for it when we become adults. I was taught right from wrong but my family didn't have any support so it got too much for them but somehow, someway they got by. Now the government hasn't made it very easy for parents to punish children so they need twice as much support when they have got children with Autism. I guess when it comes to behavior problems, it's hard for families to know what is part of their Autism or what part is just being naughty. Another reason it's hard in all fairness no believes in beating a child but also not letting them get away with what they want. Children twice as much hard work, with screaming, biting and that makes them twice as naughty, even though they are upset because they find hard to do things at the same speed as not - disabled children. It's hard to get that balance, isn't it?
I have to admit I am out of date with how things are for families who have children with Autism today. All years I have been an adult, I have lost track. How do families cope now? Maybe things have improved, maybe they get things to relax them to calm the behavior problems down. What I experienced was that I was very tense when I started a Paddie and I think I even had panic attacks when I ended a Paddie. I can never understand now, why we get in such a state so easily if we can't achieve what we want to but I had to learn that I could get my own way. Yet I remember feeling so guilty afterward. Maybe also it could be to do with diet, years ago families weren't educated to know about these things. If you have a child or children with Autism. Well, admire you if you have children with Autism because one child with Autism is hard work. Please send me an email, I'd be interested to hear your story, how do you cope? Facebook sarajgorman@gmail.com. I could even get some support off Mencap for you if you want or even may be supported elsewhere. It's possible you know some children, teenagers and or adults with Autism who need some support in some way too. Whatever the situation with Autism I'd be happy to hear from you, I'd be happy to support or an even find support for you.
Children aren't punished like they were well over twenty years ago. Now it's twice as hard for parents who have children with autism. It could be pretty much the same for parents with children who have other disabilities or even not - disabled children.
Once I realized it wasn't always possible to achieve the skills I wanted in one day, I found in my own speed I achieved them. In the days I couldn't be accepted I had disabilities, it took me even longer to achieve the skills. The angrier I got with myself the worst it got. In the end, I never gave up on myself, I found a way of achieving what I wanted. Like I said though, if people think we're useless, they haven't got the time of day for us and people who give up on us that will make us twice as angry, it also take a long time to accept.If not days or month, it could be years.
Saying that like I said, we don't give up, we will always find a way of being taught the skills that are possible for us to learn. If you give up on us, you could make it twice as hard work on a people who teach us in future. They could be people who won't and don't want to give up on people with disabilities. Like I say it could take a lot out of that person with disabilities to trust people who really will teach them. I guess a good many people who have tried to teach me and given up on me have made it twice as hard work for people who wanted to teach me.
Another reason for most of us with Autism to have behavior problems can't always do most things for things for themselves, it can make us feel guilty and silly in front of people. Either the not - disabled people haven't got very long to show us with autism the skill they need or and want to learn. Some people may not be the people to support people with disabilities if that's the case be truthful with us. Don't help us if you don't want to help us. If we are not happy, we can sense people who do and do not want help us. I If feel as if somebody doesn't want to help me that can be one of my reasons why I may not feel good about myself. It's same for others with disabilities We can also feel disliked.
People like ourselves and the people who are supporting us have learned if we have an unsuccessful day one day, tomorrow is another day. I know tomorrow isn't always possible but whatever day for me, as long as I'm free. How other people like myself is them but this is me. I used to get very upset if I didn't achieve the skill in one day but I had to learn that wasn't always the way. If you can encourage the person with Autism to learn to wait for that next day or whenever, well that's better support than what I used to have. If you find they have had an enough of trying the same thing too for long, they will see enough is enough in their own time. Saying that you will need to be strong enough to tell them enough, we will try again next time whenever that is. I will understand you may well have had enough mainly if you haven't got all day. Maybe you've shown someone ten times over again. I can see it from both sides of the coin.
Sometimes we may not admit how we really feel because we want to end the day with a smile on our faces. That's one the reasons why we feel down if we haven't achieved what we want to in that day. Saying that like me today, we accept one day, learning in one day isn't always possible. It's up to you to be able to be strong enough to accept that's the way people with autism can be. It's also up to you to help us to accept things too. If your a person who gets upset very easily too that's not been strong that's not being strong for people with Autism. We won't feel very good or strong in ourselves otherwise. Let us know you haven't given up on them but it's been a long day, see you tomorrow or whenever. Try to be as understanding as possible because people like us can feel dislikes if people think we're useless and not worth teaching. We can feel as if we have done something wrong and we can think your not happy with us, it's up to you to tell the person with autism that your not cross with them but well done for trying today because trying is what we have achieved. Most people used to say me.
"Trying is not good enough."
People shouldn't tell them that they aren't good enough because otherwise, they won't feel as if they have any strong points at all, that's how sensitive people with autism can be. I know I said it's made me a stronger person but also at the same time it takes while understanding that things have moved on to what they were and I have a bit support. For eg, if you have been punished for making mistakes, it's too easy to think that everyone is going to be the same towards. I have got over that a bit I still there's a long way to go. As support gets better I will start to feel better in myself. In fact, I think that is the same for everyone really. It may take them a while to accept that we are not useless if we have been told by too many people that we are useless, I know as I say that's happened to me. We can also prove you wrong if we achieve skills that you don't we'll ever achieve. I want them to be able to trust you. I don't them finding hard to trust people's support during adulthood or even childhood and teenage years. I have learned that it can take years to feel you can trust that someone won't give up on you. If people in past can put the fear of God in you for most of you but in years to come you do move on. You will always have a long way to go though.
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