Emotional effects

 Limiting beliefs can lead people to feel:

• Inadequate – believing they are not good enough.

• Fearful – worrying about making mistakes or being judged.

• Frustrated – feeling unable to achieve something they want.

• Unworthy – believing they do not deserve opportunities or support.

• Hopeless – believing things will never improve.

Example: Someone who has experienced bullying or repeated criticism might believe, "Nobody likes me" or "I always get things wrong."

Even when other people offer encouragement, it may take time for that person to develop a more positive view of themselves.

A coach should not simply tell them to think positively. They can explore where the belief comes from and whether it reflects the whole picture.

2. Behavioural consequences

Limiting beliefs can influence what people do or avoid doing.

Examples include:

• Avoiding new activities because of fear of failure.

• Putting off tasks because they feel overwhelming.

• Not applying for jobs because they expect rejection.

• Avoiding social situations because they fear judgement.

• Giving up when something becomes difficult.

Example: A person wants to attend a college course but thinks:

"I won't understand the work. I am not clever enough."

They might decide not to apply.

However, they may have the ability to complete the course with accessible information, suitable teaching methods, additional time or other reasonable adjustments.

This introduces an important distinction:

Is the person unable to do something, or have they not been given the right opportunity, teaching or support?

These are not necessarily the same thing.

3. Impact on relationships

Limiting beliefs can affect friendships, family relationships, partnerships and professional relationships.

For example, someone might believe:

• "Nobody wants to listen to me."

• "I am always a problem for other people."

• "If I disagree, people will stop liking me."

• "I cannot make friends."

• "I don't deserve a loving relationship."

These beliefs might lead someone to withdraw, avoid expressing their opinions or find it difficult to trust others.

However, we must also recognise that relationships can involve genuine difficulties.

Someone may have experienced rejection, bullying, discrimination or controlling behaviour. Their concerns should not automatically be described as negative thinking.

A coach should listen and understand the person's circumstances.

4. Professional limitations

Limiting beliefs can affect education, employment, training and career development.

For example:

A person with a learning disability might believe:

"I will never be able to get a proper job."

They may have skills, interests and previous achievements but lack confidence because of past experiences.

A coach could help them explore:

• What skills and experience do they already have?

• What type of work interests them?

• What opportunities would they like to explore?

• What barriers might they face?

• Would reasonable adjustments help?

• What support might be available?

• What is one manageable next step?

The coach should not assume that the person has limited career potential because they have a disability.

Equally, the coach should not promise that employment will be easy. They need to recognise real barriers, including discrimination and inaccessible recruitment processes.

5. Connecting the four areas

These areas can influence one another.

How limiting beliefs can create a cycle

Limiting belief

"I am not good enough."

Emotional effects

Fear, anxiety, frustration or low self-worth.

Behavioural effects

Avoiding opportunities or withdrawing from activities.

Relationship and professional effects

Less communication, fewer opportunities and reduced confidence.

The belief may become stronger

"I knew I couldn't do it."

This is one possible pattern, not something that happens to everyone.

6. What can a life coach do?

A coach can help someone examine limiting beliefs without dismissing their feelings or experiences.

For example:

Instead of saying…

A more helpful coaching question

"You are wrong. You can do it."

"What makes you feel that you cannot do it?"

"You need more confidence."

"What might help you feel more confident?"

"Stop making excuses."

"What difficulties are getting in your way?"

"Just apply for the job."

"What would help you feel ready to explore employment?"

"You should be independent."

"What would independence mean to you, and what support would help?"

A coach can also help someone recognise achievements, develop realistic goals and identify practical support.

However, coaching is not a replacement for therapy or mental health treatment when someone needs specialist help.

7. An important distinction for your disability awareness work

I would add another point to the Alison material:

Not every limiting belief comes from within the individual.

Sometimes people develop negative beliefs because of how society has treated them.

For example:

• Being told they are incapable because of a disability.

• Being excluded from education or employment.

• Not receiving reasonable adjustments.

• Being judged by a diagnosis rather than their abilities.

• Being overprotected and not given opportunities to develop skills.

• Being repeatedly criticised instead of encouraged.

This connects directly with the social model of disability.

We need to look at both the person's beliefs and the barriers around them.

It would be unfair to expect someone to change their thinking while ignoring the circumstances that are contributing to their difficulties.

A useful principle for your coaching handbook:

Help people recognise their strengths and potential, while also recognising the barriers they face. Building confidence is not about pretending difficulties do not exist. It is about creating opportunities, support and encouragement so people can make progress.

This also connects with your earlier point about someone believing in a person until that person starts believing in themselves. Consistent encouragement, respect and genuine opportunities can help rebuild confidence, although the process will be different for everyone.

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