Poetry, Anxiety and depression

Learning Disability and Mental Health have talent.

Anxiety and Depression poems.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4lUELKqyZFI

These poems I agree you may have seen before but I have picked the ones that show the Anxiety and depression in me. I may even write new poems that people haven’t seen on this page as well. Now many people will say, which I believe is true that Anxiety and depression can affect a lot of relationships with people around you like friends, family and lovers for example. Hopefully after I've done this page, there will be more awareness and understanding of Anxiety and depression.

Mind.

A lot of people without Mental Health problems misunderstand the minds of people with Mental Health problems just like people without disabilities misunderstand people with disabilities, which for many of us disabilities and health problems can link together. Not so much today but I guess it still happens, you very often heard a of people back in the day say.

" It's all in your mind."
"It's all in your head."
"Your telling lies."
"Your making things up."
" Your seeing things."
" Your hearing things."
" It's all in your imagination."
" You worry too much."
" Don't worry about it."

That's easy for them to say but hard for them to understand. Do you know why? They are they and you are you. Okay we may well be all those things but we can write about what we hear, see and or even worry about. At least we can say what's going on in our heads so if it's all in our minds, it all our mind. Without proof it's wrong for us to be judged for telling lies, even though I agree that we can't always be excused because we have some Mental Health problems and disabilities. Only we know the truth and how we feel inside. If they treat us as if we are going crazy, mad and out of our minds so be it but they have a lot of awareness to learn from us.

Not all writers have Mental Health problems but for me writing keeps me calm to say in writing what I'm thinking about.


What's on your Mind?

To use your voice for others to understand you can be very often hard to do.
To spread the word isn't always the right thing to do.
To say nothing isn't always the right thing to do.
It's a case of who you tell depending what you tell.
The world would be boring if we were all the same.
We all have our own way of dealing with our emotions and thoughts.
What we can't do is read each other's minds but pick who we tell or express ourselves in other ways that's best for us.  12. 8.2014 - 26.8.2014

May be life isn't what it seems to us.

It's hard to see what people are hearing, seeing and thinking.
We don't always hear what they are saying, who they saying anything to if they are saying anything at all.
Who are we to judge them?
Who are we to say they are crazy and mad.
A lot of Mental Health problems are a sense of fear.
The mind is thinking about what everyone is thinking and or saying if and when they see you.
A feeling you get walking down the street as if someone is going to go into you because they are rushing a head of you.
A feeling as if even though they don't as if people are telling you to hurry up when you line up and wait to get serviced or seen somewhere.
The fear of crowds of people knocking into you. 26.8.2014

 Keep the mind busy.

I go out of my mind if I don't do anything at all.
Boredom affects the mind.
Boredom makes you feel sad.
There's never any reason to do nothing.
Despite of the country going down money wise not everything costs in life, even though we don't enough to pay for what the country costs.
We must be thankful for what we have got.
I know some of us have less than others but that's life.
One way or another we are all in the same boat.
Money help but it's not all there is to life.
Life would be boring if it was all the same.
We would be too spoil and greedy if we all had our way.
There would be nothing left in the world then we'd be even sadder.
People who want everything all the time are boring and sad people.
People who want something for nothing need to get a life when there are people who loved to work but have good reasons not to.

Be happy for the good things accept the bad things.
Life is what you make it, only you can make bad into good.
If you wait you will get more. 26.4.2012 - 18.6.2012

 Guilt and regret.

 I just prepared myself for the worst.
 What I regret is you having to see and hear my row with him.
I didn't want to creative a row, I know it wasn't nice but I felt I had to speak my mind; I had no other way of telling him.
As weeks would have went on I would have felt even more tense been in his company, this wouldn't have been fare on you and anyone else so I thought I say what I was going to say and not come again.
As much as you and I may miss one another, I thought it was far better I stopped going there rather than things getting worse because of me not liking him.
Some people I can accept, if I don't like them depending on what I don't like about them. 
He one of the very few people I can't stand sitting in the same room with, otherwise I wouldn't have said anything to him.
To me he has such a dry sense of humour but sorry maybe it's just me. 
I understand that it's cause us to see even less of one another but I haven't given up on you and me.
I'm so glad that you haven't given up on you and me either.
 I will look forward to our time together whenever it will be.
 Even if I just see you around for a chat, however short or long amount of time is good enough for me.
It's not just all about me it's about how you feel too.
 Missing you may be painful but thinking about you is happiness.
 No matter what happens I'm here to stay, no matter how life is or will be or and may be.
Even though I don't see a lot of you, loving feelings and thoughts inside me won't go away.

 Thank you for been there for me whenever you can.
 I hope you feel the same way about me too. 
 To prove how much I loved you, I will carry on accepting whatever life is.
 If I had stopped coming without texting you, you would have thought I would have gone off with another man.
I love you far too much to love anyone else.  16.5.2012 - 18.6.2012

You give me happiness.

 You give me happiness.
 You give me light.
You brighten up my day and night when you turn on the light.
 Time seemed like forever until I see you again.18.5.2012 - 18.6.2012

No greater feeling than love.

 When you’re happy in love you forget sadness.
 Too much love can be so happy that it can turn into sadness.
 To know I have you the sun always sun shine.
When I don't see you the sun isn't bright enough.
 It always rains without you. 18.5.2012 - 18.6.2012

 Looking in the mirror, what do I see?

 When times are hard you seem to think they won't get easy but if you give it time some things will others won't.
 Not everything can be the same.
 You mustn't feel alone because you are not others go through not much different if not the same.
 No one can tell you other than you how you think and feel.
 They are so right you are so wrong but that's not always the case, there's a slim chance you could be right they could be wrong. 
 They know it all because they have all been there before.
 The truth is unknown, the whole world is blind.

The truth hurts when that's how you don't want to see your life but if you accept something else will turn out better than what you had in the first place.
  Feelings and thoughts are hard to control when you want something or someone.
No matter how wrong it may be you can't move until those feelings and thought have, the only way is to let go if you start see it that it isn't right, which the hardest.
It won't get better if it's not working.
 I never knew Keats was a poet.
 I had never heard of Keats before.
 I never knew his heart was broken just like mine but in a different time.
 I never knew he'd inspire me to be a poet. I was stronger than I thought. I coped with exams, stress, studying and depression.
 As a twenty - seven year old English student I walked along the college library.
 What did I see? All I I saw was Keats on a cover of a book looking how I felt at the time.
 I read his poetry of broken love, which inspired me because he faced near enough the same as me.
 I never knew he wrote about his feelings at that time.
 When I look at the picture of him it was as if I saw myself in the mirror.
 Until I read his work I had no idea that we had a poetry talent between us.
 I was totally unaware what book I was picking up and what to except inside it.
 Both of us lived in different times.
 I never knew he shared the same subject as me, romance and broken romance.
 That's when I knew I wasn't alone. He died of a broken heart,
 I didn't but I once thought I was going to. If he hadn't of inspired me,
 I believe my talent would have been unknown.
Ode To A Nightingale' is my best poem by John Keats. 21.5.2012

Nothing to lose nothing to gain.

Many things happen for the right reasons even they seem wrong. 

Who am I, I know I am no one special at all?
Of course you are going to love again one day so will I.
He's out there somewhere but I don't know where.
I guess I won't meet him for a long time to come.
I believe he'll be just as nice as you but it's not fare to say better.
May be I live in fear of been alone but in fear of losing disappointed love again.
I guess I just accept too much without meaning to.
May be I should except to be loved or live in fear of love.
This could be why every relationship has failed for me.
I should stop feeling sorry for myself; I know I'm not alone.
May be loneliness isn't my problem, maybe it's the thought of getting old.
Then old age isn't a problem I hope I get wiser.
No rush to love again, I will take my time and won't be easy to get next time round.
Why should I go back to a bad boy after losing a good boy, maybe I will get a better boy next time? 9.12.2012

Pain under a smile.
Sometimes the world can know too much about you.
Sometimes we should be free to have our secrets and cope alone with whatever goes wrong.
Drinking may not be the answer but tears are too locked in the eyes to cry.
Keeping ones' self busy is keeping ones' self going.
Now it's too easy to fear the future.
Not wanting to be alone but not having to deal with disappointed ended love.
It's hard to know what you do and don't want let alone what's going to happen.
Try not to think about it, just get on with it with a smile.
May be it's easy to smile but hard to stop thinking about you.
No matter how I try I find my feelings for you are hard to go.

Now I have tell myself that in time I will meet someone new just as I had to when I broke up with all the other lovers.

This is hard to believe to how I feel now, 6.11.2012

Time is passing by.

When I look at the world everyone is in love but not everyone.
Now I realise I'm like a ticking clock tricking so fast years are racing by yet I try not to wait for things to happen because they take too long.
It's easy to understand why every middle age person feels alone.
It's too easy to think this is the end of you when it's not.
It's too easy to feel alone when the world is full of young love.but never thought about the older ones alone.

The future is hard to see but your life isn't over yet, it just taken longer to mend when broken like it used to.

Your never too old, you just forget that you were young in love once.  9.12.2012 

Too scared to talk.
I’m too scared to say a in case people are against what I say.
It may not be nice but it may be the truth.
One can be scared of the truth in a good way as well as a bad but then the truth isn't always what we want heard then we do, it's no good living in a lie.
Not wanting to hurt the feelings of others.
Not wanting to fall out with others because they can't agree with you and you can't agree with them.
Everyone has rights to their own views.
Not everyone gets along: not everyone doesn't get along.
Right or wrong you can't make feelings go away until feelings want to.
We all make mistakes: not all are mistakes.
It's what we say and do what matters; thinking is just thoughts not words. 9. 12. 2012

Understanding people.
The only people who understand we is we.
Freedom is important we without knowing it we control one another.
We are looked at as strange from strangers as if we have masks to cover as faces.
We are looked at as if we are wrong all the while.
We are looked as if we are not human.
We looked at if we are nuts and out of our minds all the time.
There's a fear if we are watched all the time.
As we say the wrong thing all the time.
It’s too easy to fear the worst in to be bitten, shouted at and or hit with those who don’t see things the way you do. 9.12.2012

Hard to trust.
To be able to trust is to know that there's faith that no one will judge you for what you do and say.
To be able to look at the world without worrying about what people may think and or say.

It would be nice to not fear people thinking and possibly saying the worst in you even though a lot of cases that may not be true.

Most of the time, it’s just a fear going through you.
It’s hard to believe in yourself and others. 9.12.2012

It may not be as bad as I think.

Sorry there's no easy way for me to tell you.
I never thought I'd feel this way about someone so quickly.
I feel so silly because I don't know you very well.
I can't bring myself to tell you because you may not speak to me again if I do.

In a way I want to tell you but in another way I don't.

I don't want to make life hard for you but I would be lying to myself and you if I said I don't feel this way.
I may be worrying about nothing.
I don't want to risk losing your friendship
I've tried so hard to block you out my mind but it's no good.
 I hope I don't find myself telling you one day.
I must learn to accept friendship again.
I don't want to spoil things in case you have someone special in your life.
Despite of the way I feel about you, I must cope with it because I have so much respect for you. 12.12.12 - 23.12.12

Just because I haven't cried.

Just because I haven't cried it's going to be a wet Christmas without you.
Eating less affects my emotions.
The nasty things the others have put through the pain made me cry more.
The pain from you hurts more because there was no pain but it hurts more than things now won't be the same again.
To me you’re so special I try to tell myself next time I will do even better.
May the best of love for me have gone?
I can't believe that there may well never be another you.
May be I shouldn't have written this poem, If I hadn't I still would have been your love. 23.12.12

Scared of getting old and alone.

May be I shouldn't be scared of being old and alone.
May be I should be strong enough to take the not to love again.
May be the pain from others have made me stronger.
I must be weak to be scared to be old and alone.
Yet I'm ashamed to be weak. 23.12.12

Although tear don't cry the pain is deep down inside.
No emotions cried out.
A smile might be on my face but the pain and feelings are deep down inside.
Losing weight has now been my way of showing my emotions even I need to lose weight.
Eating less seems to be the way instead of crying.
If only I spend the time with you when you offered me to.
Even though our feelings are still there for one another it wouldn't be right knowing that things won't be the same again.
Whatever I would have done I would have felt so ashamed.
It was a no win situation.
I didn't know what to do for the best. 23.12.12

Some things are better not said.

It's unknown when he will come along.
He will never know about you.
Now our love has gone there's nothing to tell.
Yet in thoughts our love is still there.
Thinking is different to speaking.
I will never cheat but I will never forget the love we had.
Our secret still stands as I said some things are better off not being said.
As wicked as the secret is it's kept a secret for safety reason.
A private reason to protect ourselves and people. 24.12.12

On heat hanging on the ceiling.

I sat under the light hanging on the ceiling.
The lamp shade was shaking.
The heat was rising.
I was hanging.
The room span round and round as if I had a good many drinks.

I saw stars on the ceiling spinning around with me.
I had a very bad hair day after I washed my hair.
It went from wet and curly to dry to fizzy as my hair felt the heat.
I tried everything I could to make it dry and curly but it was no good.
This was just me chasing dreams of freedom.  28.12.12

Bunny rabbit.

I'm a bunny rabbit.
I have sticky out teeth.
I live in a hutch.
I eat carrots.
I can see in the dark.
I get so bored inside my hutch that I run wild when I am out of it. 28.12.12

Treatment.

Living on medication isn't fun.
Feeling dizzy and in another world.
You can miss what's going on around you.
It's hard to keep up with the rest of the world around you.
Many medications don't treat you like they should you.
Some medications that right you right bright something else on.
If life is like this then what are we here, what is life all about? 28.12.12

Not the same.

Feelings far too strong but empty.
Thinking about you nonstop.
Trying to keep my mind busy to accept the fact what I want back I can't have back.
Not the same without your love.
Can't eat as much as normal. 24.12.12

Hard to believe.

Hard to believe that you’re not mine anymore.
Hard to believe that I'm not yours anymore.
Yet our love is still there for one another.
Words I said I made myself misunderstood.
I just wanted to know if you still felt the same way about me as I do about you.
Why did you end our love knowing that we still love one another?
How much time together and apart didn't matter to me I loved you all the same as I still do.
May be it's you that can't cope with your own situation.24.12.12

If only I could stop myself from having feelings.

If only my heart would stop beating for you.
The more my heart beats the more it breaks for you.
I have to tell myself that we aren't together anymore.
Every time I fell in love it always fails.
Love is a feeling hard to control.
Feelings are something that you can't rush to go away.
Feelings take their own time to go away or stay with you for life.
At this point is unknown how long my feelings will last for you. 24.12.12

How humans can change.

Childhood is unknown to you but known to the rest of the world.
Everything is so new.
Welcome to the adult world.
There's so much to learn.
You know even less when you spend years in school not learning at all.
Society has told you you'd never get anywhere in life.
You believe others around because you are a child.
You are misunderstood so you feel very bad inside.
Your past haunts you so bad that you have to find your own way to express yourself to be understood.
Only then society realises there's something about you after all, that is talent.
No matter who we are all good at something just most of us take longer to get there. 28.12.12

Unknown world.

Everyone is around you is speaking but you’re not hearing a thing.
 There's no sound to be heard but people are making movements around you.
Not everyone understands everything about you.
You don't understand everything about them. 28.12.12

Dark world.

Nothing is seen in the world around you.
Sounds are heard everywhere you go.
You don't know when if you are going to feel anything and what you are going to feel.
You don't know what's going on when it's going to begin and end.
You don't how it's going to begin and end. 28.12.12

What is to come?

What is to come?
The future is hard to tell wait until tomorrow comes.
May be I will travel again when I am old.
I haven't worked hard enough yet.
May be I will be old when I see the sun.
For now my career comes first.
My career has been slow to come.
Now I am over 40 life is too short to waste.
You have spent your life fighting for your career.
It was never a career you thought of yet it's a career for you.
It took so long that you thought you'd be good for nothing and no one. 29.12.12

what next?

I have tears I need to cry that haven't yet.
One day I will cry over you but I don't know when.
New Year is not long to come so is that sparking campaign.
Spring should be on its way but they tell us we have a long cold winter to come.
The sunshine seems a long time to come if ever at all 29.12.12

See what tomorrow brings.

No one can say for sure what tomorrow is going to bring.
The future is hard to tell until tomorrow is here.
Sometimes we are right and other times we are wrong about life.
Like the weather people are not always right or wrong.
Look out the window to see what the weather is like when you get up tomorrow.
They say the world is going to end caused by the weather therefore we will either freeze or burn to death by sun or ice.
Worry and Stress is the worst killer of all.
We think we have the whole world on our shoulders when we are young.

Some thoughts and feelings may last for lives others may only last for a certain amount of time which either be short or long.
The thoughts we think can't please everyone.
What a boring world it would be if we were right and good all the time.
Not everyone is bad all the time even though a lot of us think we are.As we get old we worry less.

I can still hear much older people say when I was young.
" Worrying get's you in your grave."
At the time I never understood that saying.
Now I see the truth in that saying because I just live my life day by day.  29.12.12

Poetry, Anxiety and depression.

It's poetry that helps me accept life as it is.
As long as I keep my mind busy.
As long as I live my life busy.
Like us all as long as I have something to look forward to I can cope with life.
I am down if I have nothing at all.
I can't fight Anxiety and depression without poetry.
I can't cope in life with nothing.
I get sad and angry if I sit all the time bored.
Helping others helps me along.
Poetry helps me let out my thoughts. 29.12.12

Without poetry.

Without poetry life would be more painful than what it is.
Without poetry I would look and feel silly for being down for no reason.
Poetry makes life as less as bad as what it is.
Poetry makes me see life different to what I'd be without poetry.
Without poetry I would never feel good about myself, I would be angrily about myself.
When see the good in yourself you see the good in others.
Life is what you make it in one way but not in another.
Each and every one of us I believe has something inside us.
We just cope with good and bad in life in different ways.
Most of us think thoughts too much, this where poetry comes in.
I'm a person who has a lot of thoughts which have for many years put into poetry.
Without poetry I would have held too much back. 29.12.12


when I feel anger.

When I feel anger I don't want to live.
When I feel anger I feel stress and tense.
There are too many thoughts going through my head to a point I want to write poetry.
I need to stop myself from getting angry and depression mainly when it's for no reason but sometimes there are reasons.
I need to stop myself from doing and say things I regret. 29.12.12

the Mind.

This is unknown to think what we are going to think.
Unknown to why we think what we think when we think.
Most thoughts seem odd to others yet unknown why to the person who thinks those thoughts.
Yet many thoughts seem odd to the person who’s thought them in time to come.
Thoughts can be unknown like feelings can be unknown.

Some things in life are just dreams that many of us try not to chase.
Other things in life are real life.
It can be hard to say which wrong and which is right.
The truth of the weather is unknown until you look through the window every day.
Really in this life nothing is sure or unsure until the time comes.
Life is like a ticking clock as it ticks to the hour through the day and night.
Life is like the weather rain, snow and shine is unknown until it comes.
This can work the same as tears, sadness and happiness.
We are born to live then die whatever reason why is yet again unknown. 30.1.2012

Complete year wash out to bring the New Year.

2012 has been a long wet year even through the summer.
It's been a complete wash out with floods here, there and everywhere.
It's unknown what 2013 will bring us.
It's been a wet blow out in storms and winds.
They tell us January 2013 will bring us the worst winter for a 100 years let's just see it when or if it comes.
30.12.12

I know.

I know you still love me like I love you.
Love is not an easy feeling to let go.
How I made myself misunderstood in the text.
I was only trying to ask you how you felt about me.
You told me before Christmas that it was pointless us carrying on.
For who me, you or both of us?
I can wait forever long.
Is what I am saying right or is this your way of saying you don't feel the same way about me anymore?
Why not tell the truth to tell me you don't want me in your life anymore.
If that's the case it may hurt me but at least it may be the truth.
If you feel this way why was I in your life in the first place?
I wouldn't have known a thing if I wouldn't have known how you felt about me at the time.
Don't be scared to tell me the truth even though it may hurt me.
I'd rather know the truth even if you don't like me.
Please be honest with me too many men have played games with my mind when they knew I had loved them. 30.12.12

Start a fresh.

Make a fresh start.
What has happened has happened.
What's to happen is yet to come.
Keep memories in your thoughts. 31.12.12

Time.

It seems a long way off from one year ending to another year to end again.
Twelve mouths seem like forever but it's gone a blink of an eye.

New Year’s Eve and day make the most of it and eat away.
Time to save ourselves for another Christmas and New Year to come.
Every year flies by, it makes you wonder life passes by.
We are born to live then to die, it makes you wonder why. 31.12.12

I try not to think about it.

I try not to think about being lonely.
I try not think about who walks into my life next if anyone at all.
Men have come and gone out of my life, I guess they will carry as they always have done.
Thinking more of moving on.
Thinking more of getting strong.
Thinking more of accepting as it is and however it's going to be.
Time is so unknown anything could happen at time at all. 29.12.12

I think now the end has come.

It's too easy to think your life is over when being over 40.
A lot of break ups of marriages and relationships have late 30s to early 40s.
You stand and look in mirror to see what has changed in you not only the person you are in looks.
Too easy to think love has gone forever when your middle aged.
You tend to think this is the end but it's not in everyone.
That doesn't mean I am right because the truth is unknown to everyone.
It's hard to think of yourself growing old alone. 29.12.12

I am what I am as well as who I am.

I am what I am as well as who I am.
What I was born to be is what I was to be as well as who I was born to be.
Who I was born to be am me.
I learned to be strong minded with not a great deal of choice in life due to my abilities.
Yet the change in me I don't think anyone or myself would be.
The person as a child and the person as an adult are two different people in two different minds.
It was hard for me to believe in me because others found it hard to see the good in me.
Now I have learned a lot in adulthood even though there's a limit of what I can do. 29.12.12

Anxiety

What is Anxiety? Like depression is a feeling of sadness, Anxiety is a feeling of anger. Anxiety and depression can make you feel anger and sad at any time, at any place and anywhere whether you have a reason or not. Anxiety is also a feeling of worry and panic. Everyone worries, panics and gets Anxious at times after time but a person who suffers from Anxiety lives with it all the times. The most common things to worry about are for example.

• Bills
• Rent
• Council tax
• Exams
• Driving test
• Interview
• Not getting the job you want.
• Losing the job you love.
• Finding it hard to manage money wise.
• Relationship and marriage break ups.

Nine times out of ten we tend to worry about these things, which is the Anxiety of before they may happen. If what you were worried about in the first place hasn't happened to you that's when you feel really silly about then your telling yourself off for over something that's not going to happen to you but you don't know it before hand. I have gone through that so many times in my life but no matter how many times I think to myself I'm not going through that again, for someone like me it's not that easy because that's part of the Anxiety we have got. If those things do happen to us that's when the depression kicks in. However like I said in the depression report, depression like Anxiety is a feeling that's very hard to control. If you have a lot of things to make you happy but then if your depression kicks in because you have a feeling of sadness that doesn't mean you are ungrateful for the things that make you happy, then people who don't suffer from depression tend to misunderstand you as an ungrateful person which can be the same for Anxiety, which is a feeling of anger.

Those kind things tend to cause people without disabilities and health problems a lot of worry and stress but even more so for those of us with. This day and age society as a whole through today's credit crunch with the cut backs, debt and that have more to worry than when things were doing okay money wise.
Selfishly I can only speak for myself but many other Anxiety suffers will say what they face. I tend to face sense of fear, dread and a strange sense of worry and panic even if I don't have a reason feel that, which is what I can't explain why that is. Small problems seem big. My Mum tends to say to me.
" Sara, don't make a mountain out of a mole hill!"
Well if I do I don't mean to.  I'm really bad at relaxing if something is bothering me, I can't focus on others of of my life until it's sorted. I have to force myself to do other things to be able to cope with the situation until it's sorted otherwise I'm like a stuck record, I then bore myself and others sorry.
Like depression I believe that Anxiety at least what I face anyway, it can swing both way to when you have a lot to do you can have no get up and go yet if you have nothing you can go out of your mind. Therefore people can misunderstand you for not having an interest at all. There comes a balance between the two things not having getting up and go yet not been able to cope if you have too much on. I believe whether or not you have disabilities and health problems everyone has a skill, ability and a talent. No one is completely useless yet it can be very hard for people with disabilities and health problems to believe in ourselves. Mine is as those of know who have been reading this website any time in the last seven yrs, my talent is poetry and story writing. Creative writing is what I enjoy anyway but when it get's to a point that my Anxiety and depression is really then I turn to my poetry and story writing, I mostly do my poetry.
http://www.disabilityartsonline.org.uk/ offers a wide range of websites for those with disabilities who want to express their talent./www.gov.uk/government/publications/employing-disabled-people-and-people-with-health-conditions/employing-disabled-people-and-people-with-health-conditions http://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/drugs-and-treatments/arts-therapies/#.U_wLhPldVLo

Some of the things we face when we are going through Anxiety. 

Feelings of apprehension or dread Trouble concentrating Feeling tense and jumpy Anticipating the worst

Irritability Restlessness Watching for signs of danger Feeling like your mind’s gone blank

• • Pounding heart
  • Sweating
  • Stomach upset or dizziness
  • Frequent urination or diarrhea
  • Shortness of breath
  • Tremors and twitches
  • Muscle tension
  • Headaches
  • Fatigue
  • Insomnia

    Surge of overwhelming panic Feeling of losing control or going crazy Heart palpitations or chest pain Feeling like you’re going to pass out Trouble breathing or choking sensation

    Hyperventilation Hot flashes or chills Trembling or shaking Nausea or stomach cramps Feeling detached or unreal

  • 
    

There are all different kinds of Anxiety like there's different kinds of depression. For example if there's a problem I need to get sorted it's on my mind until it's sorted.


www.anxietyuk.org.uk

Depression.

I know I have written depression but on this website but despite of my worries of how different disabilities affect different strangely depression is even worrying because it can vary even more so. Like I think I said in my last or only other reports about depression I can't remember now, people with depression can feel sad whether we have a reason to or not, which can come and off at any time. Like anything depression can be different  for different people. It can be one way round or both ways round. For example I can go from not having any get up and go in me to not coping if I don't have anything going on in my life. It's like everything an effect but once I'm there you can't get me away but it doesn't always happen that way, it mostly does.

Depression is very unexplained because it's so different for different people. Depression go from very mild to major. Depression can make you feel as if life isn't worth, some of us can fight it but others can. Some go on for years fighting and winning then lose in the end. There's no telling with one person to another how depression can affect us. What we do know is depression a very worrying health problem to have. Now just because I have a mild form of depression doesn't mean like writing about it and making you sad because I don't.  The truth of today's world and life is enough to rise the amount of people who suffer from depression for example people losing their job and the cuts backs that Britain are having today.

Referring back to what I said in the Anxiety report about no matter what's going on in the your life when Anxiety and depression kicks in that's how you feel. Many of us can get misunderstood for being ungrateful when we are not. Baring in mind our lives move from good to bad some good some bad times. Yes it would be boring our lives were just all good or just all bad. Then it just becomes a case of thinking well is there more good going on in our lives than bad or the other way round? However that happened it doesn't make any difference to people who suffer from Anxiety and depression not that we are ungrateful the god that we have got in life. Anxiety and Depression vary in it's self some of us suffer worse than others of us. There are that many different types  of Anxiety and Depression. Many of us can even find it turns round circles for us, which doesn't always affects us the same every time we have a spell of Anxiety and Depression. Despite of what we go through and no matter what we go through we I do anything think there's always someone worse off than myself, which is true even though it feels like the end of the world at the time of whatever I'm going through.


A lot of people say that depression can only work 1 way but not really for eg; some people
 can sleep too much, others don't sleep and others can find they face it both ways. Some things people can face with depression.

• Feeling sad at any time, any place and anywhere with or without  reason.
• Not feeling like doing anything but then feeling sad and anxious if you have nothing in your life at all http://www.anxieties.com/
• Not having any get up and go but then not know when to stop if you do get started.
• Getting stressed, frustrated and upset more easily than other people.
• Getting angry and mood easily.
• Thinking you can't cope in life.
• Thinking you can't carry on.
• Feeling weak.
• Putting one's self down.
• Feeling as if you are nothing and nobody.
• No self- e stream.
• Lacking confidences 
• Not knowing own strength.
• Finding it hard to see things getting better.
• Feeling as if life isn't worth living.

Self belief can be a hard thing for a person to cope when they have Anxiety, depression, even other health problems, disabilities and etc. Despite of what I've just said we do achieve things but then in complete honestly need the support to believe in ourselves not to run ourselves down all the while. We understand that we can't completely achieve the same kind of life as people who have not any disabilities and health problems but there's still a of these people can achieve so to speak normal do tend to run us completely because they know we need a lot of support. If more people would start to think of the good in us and less of the bad in us, then we may start become a bit more confidence in ourselves. Just remember we are as human as you are at the end of the day.

Depression has always been high but now it's a lot more higher than it ever has been. Although the world suffer has suffered many wars and also the big depression in the 1930s. Now for the last five years Britain has been suffering a credit crunch, cut backs and many banks are in debt. These kind of things give people a lot more to worry about than a normal living life. If you have disabilities, health problems and your elderly today's stress is added onto you even more so but then the stress of the credit crunch can bring on health problems and even disabilities to people who have never had them with too much to worry about. We need to live in hope that the government doesn't make cuts on counselling and emotion support because depending what people are going through many would find it hard to get by.

Yes it's very sad indeed to know that the world has lost the actor Robin Williams who suffered from depression, he was so talented. My favorite work of Robin's has always been Mrs Doubt fire, Monk and Mindy. Oh no that's not my reason for writing about depression although when these things do happen I admit, it does raise more awareness of how serious depression can be but then having been an Advocacy worker and an Awareness trainer of learning disability and mental health as I know as someone who copes with these problems herself, depression can link into them.   http://www.depressionalliance.org/

Yes agree that cancer is very serious as well but depression can be just as serious for a lot of people if life get's on top of them. What I'm hoping is that the government doesn't make cuts on counselling and emotion support because people need to cope with life. I'm very sad and worried to say there's very little for us to be happy for today, if only that wasn't true I wouldn't say it otherwise.

On the bright side like Robin Williams depression doesn't stop a lot of creative people use our talent.  Those  of us with talents have all different talents otherwise the world would be boring. Never think because someone has got any disabilities or and health problems we can't do anything at all. Even people with depression not all the world is black and white, it's just getting the right support to get by. Sometimes we don't feel as strong as what we really are.   http://www.mind.org.uk/ for example my poetry. What's on your Mind? Try not to bottle it inside. It's all in your head. May be it is all in our head so you can never think that we don't think all just because we have to cope with disabilities and health problems. We aren't completely useless in fact we aren't useless at all .

No one knows you but you.

Anxiety and depression is a lonely thing in one way but not another. Why is that? It's within you. Without putting other people down no one know but you because you have to you have to live with the health problems not GP's or the Health Professions. Not that I'm saying there's not any help out there but professions can only help us so much some of helps us others don't but I can't really say that because it's different for different people because these GP's and Professions don't have to cope with what we do. For eg; what helps me doesn't help me or other people with health problems. What helps me is my poetry,story writing, my work, Counselling and Emotion support when I can get it.  Bare in mind different people suffer from different Anxiety and Depression and different things help it. It doesn't necessary mean that two people with the same type of Anxiety and Depression, the same health problems and so on can't benefit from the same kind of help for all. support and advice. There are people in fact just learn to live with it in their own because help helps and others doesn't or no helps helps. It's very rare that all helps helps cause the only people who know our own minds, what we are thinking, what are not thinking and everything else is ourselves not that we shouldn't if we need to or want to. What works for some people doesn't work for others so don't anyone tell you otherwise. What does and doesn't help you if you would like to share your stories with me. sarajgorman@gmail.com Never be force by anyone for anything things in your time if it has to be, otherwise just do what helps you. At the end of the day the choice is yours no one else's whatever you do or don't. I know myself if people try to push and force me I tend to feel even less sure of myself. Don't get me wrong we can only help ourselves in the best way we can. 

Dyslexia support awareness.

In 2013 last year I started a college course at Old Hall  street college Wolverhampton. The course started back about 4 weeks late to what it should have but there was a delay because they were trying to find a tutor.  We should have started back early to mid September but it happened to be early to mid October.

 I made my tutor aware I needed Dyslexia support but it took quite a long to sort out. About a week or two before my Level 1 English Reading exam 2014, I had an assessment, the Dyslexia support tutor said I need 25% of extra timing in the exam which I got. The problem wasn't in the exam it was before the exam when one student kicked off saying he hadn't got any Dyslexia support yet the tutor had said he hadn't even asked for it. Saying that the building where we took exam was like a maze. When I left the building I found it hard to get out of I went through several flights of stairs till I could even ask someone how get out the building, which set of my Anxiety off too cause I panic thinking I wasn't going to get out the building.

A week or two after the exam I start to get a Dyslexia support tutor to support me with the writing, speaking and listening without knowing whether I have passed the reading or not. It turns out yesterday the 30th April I get the results telling me I have failed the reading yet during the studying before the exam I was getting good  marks 83% when they made the print large yet the print was large in the exam. 55% small print in studying.

My awareness is even though I was lucky enough to get some Dyslexia it just came a bit close to the exam. I guess most of it was a bit of my own fault because I should have asked for it before the course started but then I didn't really know what to except till I started my course plus I have had one Dyslexia support assessment in the past which I didn't know till last minute needed to be updated.

 Now there are cuts coming even though they haven't hit some places yet they soon will. A s money is getting less and less help is getting slower and slower. I have even notice that a lot of the courses people are having to pay it's not easy for anyone but even harder for people on benefits yet the government on the hand are nagging people to go on course in order for people to get jobs, they can't have it both ways. I agree some courses for work are free but not many. I am not a tight person if I was working earning a good wage I'd be more than happy to pay for my courses. Strangely for what I have seen there are not many work course free despite the government wants as many of us off benefits as possible. All the same the English and Maths are still free.