Old and new poems.

A book.

A book full of life.
A book full of stories.
A book full of poems.
A book full of plays.
A paper full of news.
A magazine full of fiction and non - fiction.
A book can be a novel.

What is a book about?
A book is about love.
A book is about hate.
Difference books covers difference subjects, you can read them forever and a day.
There can be more than a thousand subjects that can cover one book, less or more. 20.8.1999


Life seems worthless.

I don't have anything in mind to wish.
When I sleep I dream about the love I used to have.
I can't dream about anything that is happening now because there's nothing happening.
My world seems empty, my head feels full of pain and I don't know what to make of this life I have now.
I don't know what will make me happy now.
I am not saying I am not happy but I can't think what I want in life.
To me everything is new.
I don't know what to do until a new day comes my way.

Some days I feel happy.
Other days I feel sad.
Most days I could laugh.
Other days I could cry.
Other days I could have anger.
Others day I could be mad.

I mostly have my days of anger when I am by myself because I feel so mixed up in my mind.
I want one thing one day another the next. 20.8.1999


Think about the 1914 - 1918 war.

A lot of young men 18 - 35 had lost their lives in the 1914 - 1918 war.
The men who are alive are mostly wounded for life.
Some men have become disabled for the rest of their lives.
Some men are blind, through bombs.
Other men have lost arms, others have lost legs.
Some men have even lost their feet.
Other men have lost eyes, ears, noses and months.
What on earth is life about?
Every town there were street sweepers sweeping the streets.
Grass covered in mud mens boots sank deep.
Smoking cigarettes because they felt down and depressed.
Walking and hiding from in the fog.
Falling into the muddy bog.
Frighting for one's life. 2.1.2000

Reasons why I write poems.

The reason why I write poems to show for the person I love.
To be able to tell them how much I think of them when I do.
How much I miss them when I don't see them.
That someone is you but I don't get to you a lot but I do I enjoy my time with you.
To be able to let out pain when I feel pain. 21.8.2000


Spring on it's way.

It should not be long until the daffodils are in the garden.
Pancake day is in March instead of February.
It is not just a new this year but new century.
Easter eggs, lambs and bunny rabbits come out to play.
All things jumping around all day. 26.2.2000


You were my lover.

You were my lover and best friend too.
You felt everything to me but not what I would though you would be.
Why did it ever end between us?
We had one another then we lost one another, it was a love I would never forget.
You broke my heart but I don't hate you because I still love you so much.
I can't help but forgive you for what you have done to me.
I was only young but two years older than you, you were younger too.
You broke my heart and I broke yours, I guess we have a lot to regret.
Now it's over I understand that you won't have me back.
For me there's no looking back because I know I can not accept you to believe that I have changed a lot to what I used to be.
In some cases it's really true that you always hurt the one you really love.
The one I really love is you. 24.2.2000

Unlucky child.


If you were a child in the nineteenth century your school days would have ended at the age of twelve.

What do you do next?

In the poor dull days they gave you far too much work to do.

Working in the coal mines, chimney sweeps, warehouses, cooking in the kitchens and many more.2000 onwards

I love you and I know you love me.

I love you and I know you love me.
I have a lovely happy feeling you and me are meant to be.
It's so sad that I don't see enough of you to make how I feel about you clear to you.
You are the love who is worth seeing.
You are so special to me. 26.6.2000


Sometimes the world is unkind.

Sometimes you will find the world is unkind.
I am speaking for each and every person that includes people who are disabled and with a learning disability.
Why do people look at people with these problems as if we are not human.
As if we have not not got brain.
We are just a bit slow that's all.
At the end of the day we are just as clever as you but in difference ways.
The fact that we are slow learners makes us do a better job of things but society is in too much of a rush.
When we can do things in our own time and be our bosses, we do a lot better.
We still need to be accepted in society a lot better than we are.

What is so sad jobs are hard to find for everyone today not just us.
There is far too much crime in the world today.

Looking on the bright side I have found as I have getting old I have been getting better.
I have been working in the library for three years now so I am going to stay there until I get to the next step of my career.
I hope the the library will set me to the career I want which is writing.
I hope all these years of hard work will help me to become a writer.
I won't give up in anyway at all. 8.7.2000

My male friend.

I still love you with all my heart.
When you left me my life became hard.
My loving feelings will be here for you for life, however you feel about me.

You are my best caring male friend.
I mean every word I say my dear.
I still care and worry about you a lot.
If you don't feel the same way I will accept that.
I don't want to come bet ween your happiness.
I must carry on accepting whatever happens in the future.
I must be happy with my life.
Deep down the memory of you is not forgotten by me. 26.2.2000


My sweet male love.

To my handsome sweet male love, I love you so much.
Your eyes are like stars that shine in the sky.
My heart is so full of love.
Your heart is full of passion and love.
Lay your head upon my breast, then you may sleep on my chest.
I will love you at my best. Late 20th century to early 21st century.


My love to human kind.

My sister Holly Wood my artist of my poems and story books.
My life like all people has a book inside them.
All about my family who bought me up.
My God daughter Stevie Bea is my baby love.
My lover I love, I will always love. Late 20th century to early 21st century.


I dream of sunshine.

I dream of sunshine with wild red roses to brighten up my life.
My love life seems such a dream if you see what I mean.
On the whole men have been very mean to me.
Many times my heart has broken.
My lover's lips are red enough for me.
My lover's looks are handsome enough.
My lover has lovely bright blond hair.
My lover's love is very strong.
He can be such a nightmare when he drinks himself almost to death.
Antonio was not the man for me. Late 20th century to early 21st century.

I love your smile.

You smile runs out a mile.
Those lovely blue eyes smile a mile.
You really do make me feel as if you are mine.
Let's hope happiness is yours and mine until the end of time.
Please never forget that you are the love of my life. Late 20th to early 21st century


You gave me pain.

You were not the first to make my heart ache and break.
I hope you will be the last to make my ache and break.
Nothing in this world will make me feel the same now.
Even now I still can't sleep.
Even now I still can't eat.
I need to keep my mind busy to stop myself thinking about you.
I still drink more and eat less. 20th to 21st century

Hot and cold Britain.

Why can't the weather make up it's mind?
One minute it's cold the next minute it's hot.
The answer to that we just want the weather to be warm.
(Why?) warm weather makes us feel good.
What we wear?
We don't know until we get outside.
We lead such rushing lives.
We haven't forgotten the times when we knew what to wear.
Sometimes you have not got time to rush home to get a a jumper if your wearing tee shirt.
You either roast or freeze. 2000 onwards.

Beautiful.

Green mountains on hot summer's day in Wales.
Bright yellow sunshine and deep blue sky.
Flowers everywhere to be seen. 2000 onwards.


Epilepsy.

This may not be epilepsy, if not what is it?
Why come back after twenty years?
Why haven't felt well for the last mouth?
Headaches, shakes and the room moving round and round .
The tablets cure one thing and bring another thing on.
I feel shaky and tired.
I am not looking forward to a brain scan, flashing lights and electric stick glue wires in my hair.
It's like a big storm inside my head.
It causes your nerves to be bad mainly when you have waiting to see if you pass or fail.2001 onwards.

Too much greed in the world.

There is far too much greed in the world today.
We just tend to pick one another more and more.
Too many debates over difference subjects.
Why not have your own point a views and keep them to your self.
Why do we have a problem with each other?
As long as no is hurt anyone, what is the problem?
What can we except?
Not a perfect world.
For goodness sake we all make mistakes.
Every we come across it's about money, why?
People say about peace, where is peace?
Everything seems to be a problem, there so many of them for everyone than ever before.
The world is just war, I think always has been and always will be. 21st century.


What's wrong with the world today?

Why can't we walk down the street without worrying about danger?
What has happened to manners and respect?
At one time you could leave your doors and windows open but not anyone.
No one could come in unless they asked you.
It is now a change for the worse, now we have to accept that but not every change is a bad change. 21st century

Chewing gum.

I remember the old school rule, no chewing gum in class.
No sticking the gum to your school desks.
When I look back the rule made sense.
Someone would throw in your hair, then it would be sticky.
As you walk across it was always there until the person to blame got the cane.
It would even stick to your shoes and clothes.21st century


I live near a wood.

I live near a wood.
At night I walk through the wood as I walk from the bus stop.
You keep me safe when I walk home at night.
I feel as if you are walking with me.
Nobody believes your there but I do to keep myself strong.
Not many people walk through the woods at night. 21st century


Your out there somewhere.

You took the blanket off the bed.
You put the blanket back on the bed.
You even made the bed for me.
I feel your fingers running down my spine.
Your never out of my mind.
You never go away.
I still wish I met you all the same.
The world must think I am in sane. 21st century


Parents.

Parents mess your heads up without meaning to.
They take their histories of their own family lives on you.
They never mean to give you a childhood like theirs but little is sometimes there.
There are times they are fed up of their own lives, it gets taken out on you.
Never bring another generation, your own child will always spot something you like them.
No matter how hard you try not to, you always lets you kids down somehow.
Just be yourself, you can't hurt anyone then but then again some people in the world have keep the world going round. 21st century.



Child hood.

Some of us have a good children others have a bad yet you could have a mixed.
Adults tell you that school days are the best years of your life just to get you to school.
That's a load of rubbish in my case.
In my case like many children, I was bullied in school so school days were the worse days of my life.


You listen to the sound of the wind.
It's like a birds wing's flapping in the wings.
Water rushing like the stream river and sea.


I once believed the big bad woof was in the wardrobe.
I once believed that the troll was under the bridge.
I once believed there were Father Christmas's, rain deers and elves.
May be there might be some truth in fairy tales after all.

Watch out for the big bad wolf.
Watch who is outside your doors these days.

May be we should believe in fairy tales after all.
May be the people who wrote these fairy tales saw dangerous futures for us all.
If that's the case they are right.
Don't let it keep you awake at night.
Live life how you like.
Be strong and be aware of what's around you.
I am not trying to frighten you, I am just telling the truth.

I once believed that snowmen could walk through the snow.
I once believed that the fairies gave me money for my teeth so I hope they did but never gave me money for my ear rings.
I lost so many pairs of ear rings by putting them under my pillow.

You are a skeleton who swims in the sea.
Watch you don't get a electric shock!
Every part of your body comes apart and back together again like plugs coming in and out of sockets.

Is there more water in heaven than there is on earth? 2000 onwards.


Forgotten.

I have a good memory but I have forgotten.
I know it does not make sense.
What is your name? I have forgotten, don't tell me.
I don't want to remember if I don't have to.
What did you look like?
Does it really matter I may have had a dream or a nightmare.
Did you kiss me?
So what, why and who is my question?
I know even know who I am talking to and what I am talking about.
So why did I ask in the first place then?
Were we in love or just friends?
Are you male or female?
It may have been a mistake. 2000 onwards

So I am not bothered.

Last I heard he was married.
Good to her, I'd rather her than me.
I only used to dream that you were close to me.
You are not real are you?
I did not really go with you, did I?
If so I must have had a nightmare then.
I have forgotten what you used to say to me because you used to lie so often.
I was so happy when you went off with her because you played behind my back anyway. 2000 onwards.


The sun heat.

On a very summer's day every leaf is green.
Everything is all the colors should be.

Sometimes the heat of the hot sun is far too hot.
There's not enough air, cool down with cold drinks.
Dive into a pool then have a shower.
The heat makes it very hard to sleep.
Too many restless nights. 2000 onwards


You are a ghost.

May be it's hard to see in the dark unless you eat carrots.
Your name is unknown to a lot of people.
It's still not known if you were real or not, I think you are just a character in my mind.
I dream how life would have been if you were real. 2000 onwards.




Life alone.

Outside I may well have friends.
When I get home I face the tablet, the chair, the television and computer.
My sink, my toaster, my fridge, cooker and the mic.
My toilet, sink, bath and shower.
My bed, wardrobe and dressing tablet. 2000 onwards.


Yesterday has gone.

Yesterday has gone, live for today and tomorrow is another day.
Yesterday may have been a bad day, think of today as a good and tomorrow be an even better day.
There's no perfect life otherwise life would be boring.
Just start all over again tomorrow.
Always think forward never think back.
Always think good never though bad.
Enjoy the good times but be strong to the bad times. 2000 onwards



What it would be like to see no one.

It would be a lonely world to see no one.
No one to talk to, no one to help, no to ask a question or give an answer to.
It's so dark when you are allowed but then then there's no one to tell you anything that you don't want to hear.
You may need to hear some things whether you like to hear them or not because they could be words of truth. 2000 onwards.


When we first got together.

When I first saw you I knew I wanted you.
Butterflies flew through my stomach.
How it broke my heart we both broke up.
I could not help missing you so much.
I could not believe you could leave me for her.
I hated her so much but I loved you so much, I still feel that way now. 2000 onwards.



The future

The future is no one's guess.
No one can say what is going to happen.
No one can say how long or short we are going to live.
No one can say whether or not we get what we dream of but most of the time we need to live in the real world which is there truth.
There's no harm in laughing and joking but we need to be serious too, get the balance bet ween the two.
Most things don't stay the same they do change but there are some things not many things stay the same.
It's too easy to think the person we love is going to be like the last, let's forget the past.
We all make mistakes but most of us learn from them others do not.
Somethings we can't change but others we can. 2000 onwards.


I am here for you, if you want me too.

If you want to me another chance to love you again, I am here for you if you want me too.
If you don't want to give me another chance I understand that too, I don't blame you what I put you through.
If you want a woman lover or a loving friend, I am here for you if you want me too.
If something or someone is bothering you, I am here for you if you feel you need and want a woman to talk to.
You are welcome to cry on me if you want to if you need a woman close to you, I am here for you.
Whatever you want from me, I am here for you if you want me too.
You have love from me, cry on and if you someone to talk to if you want me too, I am here for you too.
Feel free friendship or lovers it's up to you.
I don't mind as long as something is going on bet ween us. 2.1.2000


I can live without you, if I have to live without you.

If I have to live without your love, I will live without your love.
I don't like living without your love, it hurts me very much but I am strong enough.
I miss you and your love so much but I can cope enough.
One thing I can say is that I have never cried my eyes out over anything or anyone like I have cried my eyes out over you.
Now can you see how much I really love you, I have always loved you and think I always will do. 29.12.1999

Have you changed the man I knew or even still know?

Please don't change the kind of man you are.
If you have changed, please change back into the man I once knew and fell in love with!
Please stay the same, not matter what that's why I still love you.
Please stay, you don't have to love me as long as you don't change.
You can have feelings and think anyway you want about me.
I will still always love even if you don't love me and that you don't have me back. 29.12.1999


You left me very lonely.

You left me very lonely.
You left me very sad.
No matter what you put me through I still love you very much.
People say I am sad and mad to ever want you back but I don't care about that.
Why can't people see it was not all your fault it was my fault too?
The relationship we had was not anything to do with them.
I am all for giving you another chance because I love you so much if want me too.
I would like to start it off as loving friendships, then we could see whether it's worth getting back together or not. 2.1.2000


If you keep me, you won't get hurt anymore, I really do promise you.

Please try to worry in case I hurt because I won't.
I understand getting to know someone new is hard to do.
I know at this early stage that we are protecting ourselves and each other.
We are learning how to trust one another.
I know that I feel very sure that I can trust you and I think you can trust me too.
Only one day at a time will tell us about one another.
You are not trapped by me, I am not trapped by you.
I don't own you and you don't own me.
Just be careful in life, that's all I say. 26.5.2000

When I am alone with you.

When I am alone with you, I really feel as if I belong to you.
When I phone you I still feel as if we are together.
It's a lovely feeling bet ween us even if we don't see a lot of one another.
The lovely feeling of been held and kissed.
You are the only person that has ever made me feel right.
When I don't see you every night feels like a lonely night.
I miss you all the while but it all seems very much worth while.
Times goes slowly when I am waiting to see and speak to you.
When the moments come it all seems right and nice.
At night I always wish I could be with you because I love you so much.
In the day time I miss you so much.
Your job makes us miss one another so much.
I respect and think about you so much.
I can't stop thinking about you so much.
I wish I was in the love of your arms.
I wish you were holding me tight.
I wish you were kissing my lips, which feels just right. 26.5.2000


I'd rather be with no one but you.

I know we don't know one another that well yet.
I know we have such a lot to learn about one another.

I understand things are not easy for either of us these days, through no fault of our own.
I know you will know that I don't enjoy these hard situations anymore than you. I like you such lot, as I have got older I have got a bit stronger in my mind and I hope will get even more stronger.
I will take whatever there is to take on board and I don't give up.

Through choice there's no one I'd rather be with only you.
I miss you so much but I understand that nothing is yet possible or not at all.

I understand it's not all about how I feel, it's also about you because you have feelings too. 24.12.2009


Sorry.

There's no way I want to cause stress on to you, I like you a lot.
I am sorry the way I feel like I do if that's too much.
I have to be honest I miss you so much.
I don't want to make life hard for you. 15.12,2009


I don't feel myself.

The weather is so cold.
I miss you so much.
I just feel so low, I don't have any get up and go.
I understand that it's not all about what I want in life, you matter too.
I know it has not been easy with both of us coming to terms with damaged failed relationships we have had. 15.12.2009

I can't sleep.

I can't sleep I have so much on my mind.
Twenty to three in the morning.
I just have so much stress that I don't want to put on you.
I am just not thinking straight at the moment.
The weather is even more cold and dark without you. 15.12.2009


I know it's hard.

The days and nights are long without you.
Hours and weeks are even longer.
Mondays and Tuesdays are really shorter, it does not seem as if we see one another fro long.
Despite on how hard it is, I don't give up, I like you too much.
With the cold weather having kicked my depression has kicked inside.
All of us could do without Christmas, depression hits everyone this time of year.
Christmas makes me miss my Nan in heaven even more so. 15.12.2009