The future is anyone's guess.
No one can say who with and how your going to spend your old age with.
We should stop living in dream world and let life live and be.
Thinking that live is always going to be the same, we are just failing ourselves hoping for too much.
Never say never but if you do say never, never say never forever.
It's too easy to think the next person is going to be like the last but never think that.
Forgive if you can but start a fresh and forget the past.
If that forgiveness does not work start something fresh and new.
We all make mistakes but please try not to keep making the same mistakes 2000 onwards
When we first got together.
When I first looked at you I wanted you.
You knew I wanted you.
The butterflies flew through my stomach.
How it broke my heart when we broke up.
I missed you so much.
When I saw you with her our love turned to hate.
Everyone must have thought I was mad loving you as much as I did.
I madly took you back because I missed you so much. 2001
Yesterday was another day.
Yesterday was another so just forget what happened if it was a bad day.
Today is what counts so dust yourself down and start all over again.
Tomorrow could be good or bad so just get through today.
There are plenty of days to come but make the most of the good days because they don't last forever. 2000.
Life alone.
You are my friend when I get home my table, chair, radio, computer and television.
My sink, cupboards, toaster, fridge, cooker, microwave and food.
Toilet, sink, bath and shower.
Bed, dressing table, bed side lamp, book, clock, television and wardrobe. 2000 onwards
What would it be like to see nobody?
It would be a lonely world to see nothing and nobody.
The thing is though that you will have nobody to answer you back.
The bad thing is that there will be no one to talk to.
It's dark when you are alone.
Sometimes you do more on your own.
Other times you need help in life. 2000 onwards
Nobody ever goes away.
You sleep beside me.
You move around my bed.
You keep me strong no matter what happens in my life.
Where would I be without you?
Just let me think your there even if you may not.
I need to be strong to get through in life.
You may not be anyone but when I don't want people to answer me back you don't.
You are not anyone, you just my voice be heard.
I talk to myself, people may think I am mad so what?
I only talk to myself about the things that don't get agreed with. 2000 onwards.
Life it's self.
Whatever you have got good keep hold of it.
Take chances that are good that you don't very often get.
Try not to do anything bad that you wish you had not.
Think very carefully before you do anything, it may seem good at the time but turn out a bad idea in the end. 2000 onwards.
Old life.
It's a sad case living on the streets?
Who are they and how did they get there in the first place?
Why are they on the streets?
Most people are sitting outside shops asking for money.
Blankets and getting drunk to keep warm.
Asking for money for food and drink outside cafes. 2000 onwards.
Too much to drink.
You can't remember a thing.
You can't remember what you had said or done.
When people tell you the next day, with some people you don't know whether they are telling you the truth or not.
How do you know whether you have good friends or not? 2000 onwards.
The writing office.
To be able to choose your own hours would be a great idea.
Nice and warm but costly.
Just work in the quiet.
Make your own free time and see people you know.
Write poems, stories and study.
Become self employed.
Only answer to the publishers. 2000 onwards.
How can you think when you drink?
How can you think when your drunk, it beats me?
How can you write when you are drunk other than feeling drunk?
You could write about feeling drunk.
Start work again when you are sober.
Anyone writing when they are drunk can't think, write and walk straight.
I have a job thinking when I am sober let a lone when I am drunk. 2000 onwards.
How drinking can wreck your life.
Drinking can wreck your family.
Drinking can wreck you as a person.
Drinking can wreck marriages, relationship and friendships.
Drinking can wreck jobs and careers.
May be just have one night in a while to get drunk. 2000 onwards.
Drinking.
A lot of people like a drink but drinking too much is not good for anyone.
Once in a blue moon have a heavy night out.
As long as your not drunk every night of the week.
The effects of drinking is not worth it.
Bad head, bad leg, being and feeling sick.
You can pay the price for a long while for being drunk.
Problems are still there the next day but drained away with drink at the time. 2000 onwards.
It happens.
When you meet someone you could fall in love.
When you break up one's heart breaks another.
You seem to think the person who has hurt you has not got any feelings at all but that is not always a case if there's a good reason for the break up.
Some people feel guilty when they hurt people if they love them, it just so happens it's not always to be.
The most common reasons for ended love is that you may not have given one another a great deal of time to get to know one another.
It's also agreed that most people don't feel any guilt at all.2000 onwards.
I am no one special.
I should think no one not even my family know how to take me.
I am not very bright but most of the time I can think of things to write.
I know I need to be strong enough not to care about what people think about me. 2000 onwards.
Not everyone is lucky enough.
Not everyone is lucky to be famous or see themselves famous.
Being famous is not always lucky enough because it's not all what it cuts out to be.
These people have a lot of money but it does not mean they have enough time to spend it because they spend too hours working.
I can't say I will be famous but If I don't see my world shown to the world then my money will go to my family.
My work is not that good I can't see myself been famous but never say never.
I say the same about my career as I do for loving someone, never build my hopes up but never say never. 2000 onwards.
I love you.
I love you for you, don't you forget I do.
I would like you to think that you love me for me too.
You should not love a person for what you can get out them.
I will help you if you help me.
I want you to understand me like I understand you.
I want you to bring me up not bring me down.
I want to find more friends to go out with so you can go out with your friends.
I want to change the kind of person I am but it just takes time.
We must listen to one another.
We must stop hurting one another. 2000 onwards
Life is war.
Life is war from the day you are born.
All because life is full of problems one way or another.
Money and children seem to be the most important problems to deal with.
Education, getting work, driving and etc.
Why am I worrying?
In today's world everyone is in the same boat part from I don't have children and don't drive.
Far too much traffic on the roads.
The world is too dangerous to live in for adults as well as children.
People who have passed exams can't get jobs.
What will be left of us, I don't know.
What it will be in the next generation I dread to think.
I am glad I am not here in the next century.
That we will never know. 2000 onwards.
What do we really want in life?
There are times we want to just get away from Britain.
Very often there's a reason why we can't leave Britain.
There are times that I know I want to make the most of my life like we all do.
You only live once. 2000 onwards.
I remember.
I remember Queen the 2nd's Sliver Jubilee 1977.
I was just seven and a half years old.
Jubilee parties were all along the streets, it was also shown television.
So many years later in 1981, the Queen's Prince Charlies married Lady Dianna. 2000 onwards.
Does anyone know and understand why we are here?
Asking what we are doing on this planet is a silly question that no one knows the answer to.
Are we here for a reason or did it just happen?
May be there is or is not a reason.
What we do know is that we are born to two people male and female.
Whether we are planned or not is another matter.
How we are made and is know to all of us.
How we are born is never known unless we are told.
The kind of people we are normally counts.
The unanswered questions of why the world is here in the first place is a wonder to us all. 2000 onwards.
Rain I don't like.
I don't like the cold rain.
I don't like the cold wind.
The wind and rain together is even worse.
The rain at night washes the moon and the stars away.
It's far too wet for the birds to fly.
I can't wait for the sunshine to rise again.
We should have very little rain when the sun shines. 2000 onwards.
Not enough hours in the day.
So much to do but very little time to do it.
So many things that need doing that don't get done.
Life is far too short to waist.
Life may look like a long piece of string but it is not long enough spread our wings.
The years have gone long before your very eyes.
If you want something to happen, it's up to you to make it happen.
It does not happen if you do nothing.
Time goes too slow if you don't do anything but too fast if you do.
When you least except it something happens not when your looking for it therefore you do except it.
Things don't happen the way I said every single time but that's how it happens most of the time. 2000 onwards.
Your there.
There's a bright star in the sky at night.
That bright star is you up there.
The stars are good people like you who we miss in heaven.
That includes the full and half moon.
I never understood where it all came from. 2000 onwards.
Keep the clocks running fast.
The clock runs very slow if you are sitting at home staring into space.
If you have things to do like I do, you'd be surprised how quickly time will go.
I can never understand people who won't do anything.
I do what I can do because there's a limit what I can do. 2000 onwards.
The bus station.
Britain has a mixed raise.
Too many people knocking into one another.
Too much nose, drugs, bad manners and disrespect.
Britain is living in a depression state, the 21st century could be the worse of all.
I am only glad I won't here to see the 22nd century. 2000 onwards.
I know it would be good for us to spread our wings.
Stuck in the same places day after day.
You just feel as if you are in prison all the while.
This is all because of very little money from the dole on things that are too much money.
I guess we should be glad for what we have got otherwise it's all or nothing.
The rich are getting richer and the poor are getting poorer.
We are not free in this society anyway. 2000 onwards.
Rain.
Why worry about the rain when it's warm other than being wet.
You may need to cool down after a hot day but the rain can go on good many days and nights.
Why not sing in the rain when it's raining anyway?
If the rain is deep, why not swim, bath, shower and wash your hair in it.
It would be cleaner to have a shower and stand up in the rain.
Don't do a Gena Kelly holding the umbrella `SINGING IN THE RAIN. 2000 onwards
your in heaven.
I know I can't see you but may be there is a place called Heaven.
May be the trees and clouds cover you up so you can't be seen.
Heaven is your paradise.
Earth is the place and the truth of mess.
Let's face facts, the truth hurt's but it's what really goes on.
The good things are either here or there, they are most lies, just dreams and things that don't really happen. 2000 onwards.
Friends.
People say that friends are there for you forever but that's never always the case.
Some people are still there for you others are not.
I have only had one friendship in school that has lasted 30 odd years.
Most people come and go out of your life.
Some people don't want to know you at all. 2000 onwards.
Good friends.
If you treat your friends with respect you will get the same respect back.
I have had many happy times with my friend Molly, we have know one since we were four to six years of age.
Every now and then we still see one another after 30 odd yrs.
We both talk about the childhood years we spend together and how life is today.
We went to birthday parties together, had tea at each other houses after school, played games and with our toys together. 2000 onwards.
My very good friend Stacey.
My very good friend Stacey, you were so good to me.
I can only wish I could return the favor back but it's too late now.
I only clashed one fag to her, she crashed me loads.
Stacey was such a great laugh.
She was so kind she bough people load of drinks. 2000 onwards.
No one will replace you.
When we slit I never felt the same when I moved on to love someone else.
I wanted you back with me.
I'd been with you far too long to be without you.
Now I am brave enough to be without you because I am used to it.
I don't love you anymore like I did before.
That does not mean I want to hurt you, I just want to get with my new life.
Don't change your mind now because you wanted me out of your life! Late 1998 - 2001.
ow times have changed.
I thought school was bad enough for me, until I heard on the news about today's children killing the teachers.
Has it been worth my while?
I have spent so man night and days missing you and thinking about you.
What have I done wrong other than liking you in a very special way?
If you like me in this way, you'd be honest with me and tell me what's going.
Sorry if I'm making a fuss for no reason.
lately
The world is not perfect but what happened to learning right from wrong?
In my school days we had bullies which was bad enough but children who murder.
Today adults can't punish like they used to.
Where are children finding guns and knives?
I know it is not all down to children but this is why it's become a dangerous world or have we just woken up to the real world?
Yesterday's children played cowboys and Indians but we did not grow to murder, if so very few did like Mary Bell in the 1960s. 2000 onwards.
My long time lover.
Your always on my mind.
I am always dreaming about you at night and thinking about you in the day.
I am always wishing you are right beside me.
The engagement ring you put on my finger means a lot to me, even though you may not love me anymore.
Please believe that I still love you though.
We have been together on and off for twelve years.
We have been through the hard times just like all people.
May be one day I will have the chance to show my love for you again, only when I know that you love me. 2006
Society.
I am a single person who can't stand stopping in at night.
I see people round the Wolverhampton who seem fed of life.
Life is how it is, there are good and bad people everywhere.
Some people are kind and other people are very strange.
Too many people sitting on streets begging for money and cigarettes.
If they are strangers to you, never give them anything.
Some people may have had hard times but others may just give you hard times.
You can't tell what people are like if you don't know them. 2000 onwards.
Parents.
Parents can mess you head up, most of them don't mean and other do it in a nice way.
We must remember that parents are human too and they are someone's children too.
They have childhood histories just like we do.
With some parents what they went through they put on to you but other parents don't do that.
Many parents stop together too long when they are not getting on.
Love can be hard to break even when there's a lot of hate.
Not all parents are the same but don't bring the next generation!
We are only human beings we can't please our kids all the time.
That's one of the reasons I have not got any kids, I would not be good at it and I would not please no matter hard I try.
See the world of freedom.
Think how many times you can have freedom without been tied down.
To be fare like every human being.
Today is a dangerous world without any punishment by the rules of the law.
You can't tell who is a good and bad parent because no one can put their child on the right track without been punished by the law.
Society is allowing today's children to go as wild as they want to. 2000 onwards.
Time goes by.
We have been together twelve years on and off.
Ok, we fell apart and got bad together like fools.
At the end of the day we love and care for one another.
People may well think we are mad.
We may well be wrong for one another but love keeps us hanging on together.2006
Love.
Love can happen when you don't except it.
When you look for love you can't find but it can come when your not looking.
Like other part of life, love can make you feel happy and sad but not always at the same time. 2000 onwards.
You may see a few of poems are written from my story ' Talking To The Graves.'
How unkind life is.
You should not be lying in a coffin, in a gravestone and graveyard.
You should be lying in a romance wood with me.
We should be eating lunch in the park on hot summer's day.
We should not been dead,as you are I must be too.
Not that there is much happiness in the world today anyway.
Not that I am dead but I don't feel the joys of spring.
This winter is too cold to give happiness. 20.11.2005
How can I remember, how can I forget?
Are you just lying looking at the lid of your coffin?
Is it cold, hot, just right or don't you feel it in heaven?
How can I forget seeing your face in the newspaper?
How can I remember you face to face?
I did not meet you or saw you but you saw me.
May be all this is a dream but you still have friends from earth talking to you.
You were taken from the world before I had chance to see you as a person, let alone getting to know you. 20.11.2005
I wish.
I wish I could touch your grave, then you could come back alive.
If only you could move again, I wonder and who you could be?
Would you be an animal or a human being? Could even be both?
You could from animal to human or the other way round.
Would really matter as long as I see you?
I will never have a chance to see.
Why did you have to go? 19.11.2005
Why did you have to go?
I did not know you.
I was only dreaming about you as my dream ghost.
You saw me but I did not see you until I screamed.
You because interested in me but I did not know you.
You went to war to save other lives.
You were far too young to die.
You had a life a head of you too.
I know I am so proud of you for saving disabled people.
You gave up your life for disabled people.
When your life was taken there's was save thank you so much.20.11.2005
Back to truth I think.
It's getting closer to Freddie Mercury.
Put the beautiful flowers on your grave!
What would you like red roses?
You always seem full of romance, even when you sing your songs.
It's hard to believe that it's fifteen years to day without you.
You have broken so many hearts who miss you.
They would love to love you as well as kiss you.
Who can blame them?
You stood out so well. 19.11.2005
All change.
It does not seem as if it was a of looking at but it was at the time.
Five pound kept a family during the first and second world war.
Children did not get a lot but they were happy.
The only sad loss were lives were lost of people they knew.
Bothers, Fathers, Uncles, sons, lovers, husbands and friends who were in both world wars.
Childrens' toys did not cost anything at all because they hardy got any toys.
Hide and seek and many more were games of all that children made up themselves.
Today they get a lot more but anything they get is never enough no matter how much.
It is true when they say to us, " You don't know you born."
We must be thank for what we have got. 20.11.2005
When I write.
When I write I worry about spelling, grammar and whatever else is in English.
I know there are times that I miss words out of sentences due to me dyslexia.
Out of all that, when I get an idea to write something it takes me ages to stop.
I must get to a stage I don't interest people when I get carried away with my writing.
This is were I feel guilty because I ready want to interest my readers.
I just don't know when to stop when the mind get thinking, the pen and key board get's writing and typing.
My fingers tap away and my mind get's carried away.
There are some days I feel sure of myself and that I write alright.
There also days I have nothing in my mind at all 2007 - 2008
Been there and done.
Nothing surprises me anymore.
I have fallen down and got back up again.
I was born with lack of oxygen to the brain at birth.
I spent a lot of time after I was born in hospital because I was having a lot of fits.
I was bullied in school and many other things went on too.
My Appendixes popped when I was 13 years old.
I had Throat cancer when I was 23 year old.
I have bad luck with love of men that give me pain in the end.
Haven't we all been through these things?
Nothing surprises me good and bad anymore, I just take whatever life throws at me. 20.11.2005
Under that lovely smile.
Under that lovely smile she must have felt lonely, even though she had love and marriage.
It must have been a blow to her when she lost her Father at the age of eight.
It must have a been hard for her husband Ted living with a wife who had gone through something that had affected her so much through her childhood.
She had such a short life with her children.
Oh Sliver why did you not hang on for your childrens' sake? 20.11.2005
Stress on women.
You are on your own feeling as if the whole world is getting at you.
The good news that no one owns you.
You don't want to belong to any but yourself when life feels it's getting on top of you.
You have a lot of love to give but you don't want to depend on men, well not all the time.
You either love or you don't.
Women should be strong enough to take what happens in life, well that's what a lot of men seem to think anyway, 20.11.2005.
It's not nice.
It's not nice when it's a foggy night, which make the nights even darker.
When it's foggy everywhere seems so far away.
You can't see a sole in the street even if there are loads of people.
Drivers have to drive very careful in the dark or night.
In the fog day looks like night but the night looks even darker in the fog.
Fog makes winter even more colder than the snow mainly these days 20.11.2005.
When I feel close to you.
I feel close to you when I lye close to you.
You make me feel safe when you make me feel happy.
It would be lovely if you would stay a bit longer.
It would be lovely to stay a little longer early lye in together.
It's great when I open my eyes and you are right beside me.
I have learned to love you too long and too much I can't let go, even though you hurt me so. 2007
To the one I love.
You are the one I love so much.
You brighten up my day.
You make me feel happy but then you make me feel sad.
You guide me through that dark tunnel that I can't see.
We have been together so long that we share an everyday memory together.
Today I love more than yesterday, that's even more than before. 2007
How do I know if you love me or not if you don't tell me and show me?
You know I find it hard to stop loving you.
Can you disbelieve that I love you?
If that's the case, why am I still in your life? (Your the love of my life.)
You are now say that I don't show love towards you but you never show love towards me these days.
Why should I make the first move?
Why should I try with someone who does not love me anymore or who does not know what he wants?
You will have no problem showing your love towards me because you know I love you.
If you show me love I will show you love.
If you don't show me love, then I know my answer.
How long to do you except me to be mad enough to want you?
It's only because I love that I am just around you.
I just want you to let me know whether you want me to stay or go. 2007.
I am so hurt.
I sit back thinking about you everyday, wondering if you are faithful to me or not.
It's going to take a while until I can get my trust back in you.
I love you for you, which is everything about you.
What I don't like is your lies and changes of stories that you have told me.
I can never forget the way you cheated on me, you really did hurt me.
When you are drunk you scar me.
There are good and bad sides of you like in most of his but when your nice your really nice or your really nasty.
You can be very funny and make me laugh, handsome and romantic.
You are very romantic when you want to be. 2000 onwards.
My worse mistake.
I know I am such a mad fool.
For some reason I still love you.
Now that I am thirty I am frightened of not loving again.
May be now I am out of my twenties men have gone off me.
May be I am going to get less attractive the older I get.
Now I have left you I am not rushing into anything with anyone.
Being alone is better than being with a bad man like you.
You drink far too much on your tablets.
You go on and off with other woman behind my back.
You have tried to hit me when you have been drunk when no one was there.
For some reason I still love you but I can't put up with you. 9.1.2000
The way many men should their feelings.
Many men bottle their feelings up inside themselves.
They make out they don't get upset that easy but they really keep their hurt and pain to themselves.
The only time many men cope with pain is when they are hospital, this could be why men don't give birth.
The whole truth many men are big babies. 10.2.2000
I miss you forever more.
You were the best lover I ever had.
We were so long together but now so long apart.
You are always inside my heart.
Life has not been easy without you but by writing poetry helps me accept that we are apart.
I think about you everyday and dream about you every night.
I must be with you, no one else will do.
May be I will love again and get on with my life but may be I won't love anymore. 2000 onwards.
I love someone but I hate him too.
I hate him when he tells lies and makes me cry.
I don't know why I seem to love the men who treat bad.
I dropped him like a ton of bricks because I could not take anymore pain.
When he tells me he loves and cares about me, I think it's a lie.
Why does he hurt and upset me so much?
I wish he would have told me he's seeing another woman or other women.
I wish I could get this hurt and pain off my mind. 10.2.2000
Lucky.
I am thankful for everyday.
I know and accept that life can't be good all the time.
I am not saying I don't get angry and mad.
At the end of the day like everyone I have a life to live.
I am not alone, there are millions of people besides me who have problems.
There are worse people off than me, the grass is greener on the other side.
We must get on with life, the life the world is giving us the chance to have. 12.4.2000
What are you getting up to?
When you tell me you love me, do you tell me the truth or a lie?
Do you care about me or do you just want my company because you can't have her whoever she is?
If you don't love me, why don't you just good bye.
There are plenty more fish in the sea you know, you don't need to lie and cheat on me.
I feel sad, bitter and very hurt and I am not jealous of her whoever she is. ( Why should I be jealous of her?)
If you respect me just leave me free to get on with my life but don't leave me with all your lies!
If you have anything to say, why don't you tell me straight away rather than cheating behind my back?
I can tell by the way you have been acting, you have been treating me like a piece of dirt. 10.2.2000
To clear up what one has done wrong.
To talk about it and get off one's chest is one way of getting it out in the open.
To be caring about each others' feelings.
To make up it up in the way they want.
To tell the truth about what one has done wrong. 10.2.2000
Living with and without many men.
Without there would not be love then there would not be stress.
Without many men many women would be free but many would be lonely.
With many men there would give many women many tears.
With many men there would be many children.
Many little boys grow up like many men.
Many little girls grow up like many woman.
Without many men many woman would not be ironing.
On there are some good things woman can do without men but also good things many of us women can do with many men.
There are many bad things that happen to many women with many men but some good.
We must really that many women treat many men good and bad too. 10.2.2000.
We are lovers.
We are lovers to me there's no other.
I hope you feel the same way too.
The door may well be closed at the moment but it will be open in two weeks.
Believe me I am home.
I know it's hard.
I can't blame you for not trusting.
Once hurt, it's not easy to trust again.
Give yourself time to get to know me first.
Believe me, it's the truth I won't let you down.
I will close my eyes in the sun and I will not stop thinking about you. 26.5.2000
Keep hold of me, you won't get hurt anymore.
I don't worry about getting hurt by you.
You can trust me too, you won't hurt me anymore.
You are not trapped by me and I am not trapped by you.
You don't own me, I don't own you.
Both of us must be careful though. 26.5.2000
When I am alone with you.
When I am alone with you, I really feel as if I belong to you.
When I am on the phone to you, I feel as if I belong to you.
It's a lovely feeling to be held tight and kissed right through the night.
You are the only person who has ever made me feel just right.
When I don't see you every night seems very lonely but I enjoy it when I do.
I miss you all the while but when I see you it feels worth while. 26.5.2000
Now I am with you.
Now I am with you my whole life has changed for the better.
I can put my trust into you.
I should not have put trust in the others before you.
Even if you are mine, I am not trapped so let's take our time.
That does not mean I will hurt you because I won't.
It means that you can trust me not to go off with another man.
I'd love to feel your love and kisses right through the night.
I can't believe that this has happen to us, I miss you so much.
I understand that you don't get a lot of sleep as you work through the night.
Because I love you I can't accept that I don't see a lot of you.
I can only hope that there's hopes for you and me.
As long as we are together, it does not matter what we do. 4.8.2000.
Hello John
Hello John, I know you can hear me.
I keep knocking and calling your name out loud enough for you hear me.
Has anyone told you about me and your best mate James together.
Thank you Junior and Tracey.
Me and James got together after you left us.
I am able to thank you even though I can hear you response.
When I go to the pubs in the town at night, I know you will keep me safe from heaven.
I wish you were here to keep an eye on people hurting me while James is at work at night.
I am sure James can trust you to do that.
All the same you will still look down from heaven to earth to us all. 4.8.2000
Your not worth it.
You are just not worth it.
One day you will need help.
There will be no one around but your family.
How can you except me to help and wait around for when you left me for another woman?
I am not sad anymore I have a new life.
Sometimes I don't know if I want to be your friend or not.
What I do know is that you are going to end up a lonely person with sadness and wishing you had not left me like you did.
You will be very lucky if someone else puts up with you like I did.
If you are lucky enough to meet someone nice and new please don't let me down again by letting her down.
I am not sure I know you anymore. 25.6.2000
What has been missing?
You make me feel angry because you were not around to be my Father from the start of my life.
That's what's missing out of my life we can't change or go back because it's the past.
I know there are so many people in the world who are in the shoes as me if not worse but shame on a Father who has missed on his childrens' childhood.
As far as relationships go I find it far too easy to fall in love not that I am looking for a Father figure.
When relationships end I break down and I go to pieces.
It can take me a long time to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
It can take me a long to believe in myself that things will one day change for the better.
I am not as strong than I think I am.
I always think I never move on but I do.
If I was not writing poetry I would not cope with life like I do mainly when I go through bad times.
I know I have always had something missing out my life I don't what it is but whatever it is it's caused by you.
May be there is that person who will love me for me and make my life complete but I have not meet him yet but then again I may not.
He may or may not be out there. 4.7.2000
I am sure this love is for me.
I am sure this love is for me, the kindness one to be.
I will have to wait and see if it's to be.
I am sure he is the right man for me.
To me he's the best man I have ever known and seen.
He makes me feel happy and he makes me feel warm.
I can see that he loves and care about so much and I do about him too.
He loves me and protects me.
We listen to one another.
Our feelings are towards one another. 23.6.2000
Love.
Some people win the luck of love but others don't.
Most of us get pain and love others get pain and loneliness.
Who said life is perfect no one can except it to be?
How boring it would be if life was perfect.
Hearts get broke and you feel as if you have been stabbed with a knife.
Loneliness can also be a painful thing.
We must not thing too bad because it may happen to you.
No one enjoys pain : everyone goes through disappointment.
Everyone has to keep strong in life.
No one wants to weak : no wants to get hurt that's life One does not go without the other.
It has to be bad to be good. 20.11.2005
Not alone.
Why has it take me years to knew that I am not alone in this world?
Why has it take years to know you are the wrong man for me but I love you.
Why are we living in a slow thinking world.
I am sorry I was not aware that others stuffer broken hearts too.
It's a closed world for everyone where we feel as if we have to keep our thoughts to ourselves.
I was so wrapped up in my own world.
I was not really aware of the world around me.
I did not feel guilty about it until now.
I am so sorry that I did not see the world like other people do. 20.11.2005
Time to put it behind me.
I love you but I will forget them.
Now that I am with you after all these years, please keep me warm for Christmas.
Now I will love you without fear forever.
I know we have had plenty of ups and downs: plenty of ups and downs to come.
We must stop hurting one another.
My love for you is far too strong to walk away.
Now I can forget about the rest of the men who I thought loved me for me.
I have been with you far too long not to love you. 2005 to 2006
Just to be together.
Would it not be nice to see the moon and stars together just like you and me?
I'd love to sit by sea to watch the tide go in and out.
I'd love to watch the flowers grow in the garden every singe day.
I don't want to believe that there are witches mixing people in soup.
I want to believe the fairies are in the garden but they are not. 2005 - 2006.
I don't want much.
I don't want much, I just want you.
I just want your love.
I just want you to keep me warm.
I will give you space after Christmas time.
I just want to beside you.
I want to be with you when you want me. 20.11.2005
Anything you do does not surprise me.
I have had to get used to the way you have always been all these years.
Nothing seems to be new about you but still you can't change a man so I am not going to change me either.
I don't think you have ever known what you wanted in all the years I have known you.
You don't know whether you want to be lovers, friends or what.
I just need to achieve what I need to do in life like leaving you, which I am not strong enough yet.
It's no good staying with a man who does not know whether he loves me or not.
I am now a woman getting towards 40, I am too old for your silly games and my career is coming along at last.
The young school girl went over twenty years ago, I have achieved more through adult life and school was no help at all.
How wrong was I to think I would not get by in life.
If only I knew then what I know now.
My career is my writing, which is getting.
By the way make up your mind whether you want to be my friend or lover again! 13.1.2009
The truth hurts.
Sleeping on the streets rough is no joke, there's nothing to do.
It's no joke when your asking for money and a smoke.
With this credit crunch money wise everyone is in the same boat.
Nothing to eat feeling very weak.
The days and nights are long and boring.
No one knows what the future holds, it does not seem to be getting any better.
Many children in care, most of them are not with their families.
There's so much terror in the world in each and every way: each and every day.
The world needs peace and love.
It's a sad fact that so many people young die through a lack of food due to a lack of money through the credit crunch and war.
How much more pain can the world take until it breaks?
They are so brave to stand the strain.
How can we heel their wounds when they cannot heel them on their own?
Having to cope with little money is war on it's own. 2009
I don't give up on life because it's hard.
Love has killed me inside but I am still here.
Look what you may have done to me but I am strong!
Ribbed my insides out with pain.
You have made it hard for me to move on but I have left you anyway.
One day you will be sorry because there's no going back, I have forgiven you far too much in the past.
It's too late for you now, I can't take no more. 12.6.2009
I am here for you part two.
My feelings are mixed up with happiness and sadness.
I also feel a lot of guilt inside me wishing I had not let things go too far.
The kind of feeling that is hard to control is love.
I understand that times are hard for us both at the moment one way or the other.
I just hope we are here for one another, I'm here for you I won't be very far.
I am here for you any time you want me to.
No matter how long it takes I will be there for you.
I am here as long and short as you want me to be.
You said you can't see the light at the end of the tunnel.
I can't say I will be great help but I will be here for you anyway. 12.6.2009
I have a long way to go but I will get there.
Here we go again but never will you put me through it.
The first time you hurt me, I never wanted to love again.
I thought there was not a light at the end of the tunnel, I was wrong.
There's no going back this time, you don't know what you want so it's too late if you do.
I don't think you ever do or did know what you want.
I have been up this road with you far too many times before, there's no reason for me to be there anymore.
I have hung around where I am not wanted for far too long.
I never thought I'd see the day I'd get used to you messing me around but I see why I have to face it anymore.
Now it's taught me to believe in myself and that I get my life back together again.
I can't say who I will love in future but it won't be you. 12.6.2009.
You confuse me.
I left you because you did not know how to feel about me.
I also left you because I had to stop feeling you as you did, you were hurting me too much.
You have completely confused me and used me.
I need to get over you, which is not easy to do.
You won't stop me loving again but it won't be you.
You won't beat me forever, I am too strong for you. 12.6.2009
Life goes on without you.
It may well be still dark in here but I believe on I am on my way to the light, one day I will get there.
I will find happiness in some way one day.
Life goes on without you.
Your not the only man in the world.
How foolish was I to chose you.
I have no shameto hide from the world but shame on you.
You have bought all this pain and loss yourself.
Say hello to loneliness.
I will get through without you somehow.
I can think more clearer without wondering where you are like I used to.
I know what I want more in life than you do.
Some people blame you for us but others blame me for us.
Silly me, I keep forgetting there's no us oh that's good.
A lot of people have asked about you but I am fed up with.
At the same time they think I should get on with my life as I doing.
I have not cried a tear over you this time but I haven't felt sadness.
I can live without your love. 13.6.2009
Open a new door.
Days are early and nights are young.
Pain is still but it will pass.
I'm very willing to move on.
You feel the same too.
We don't want to put our pain on one another but still willing to get to know one another.
We must not give one another our grief we have had from others. 14.6.2009
I miss you badly.
I am missing you badly but I am looking forward to the day I do.
My mind is all over the place bet ween happy and sad but I will get through.
It's wise of you to say that we need to get to know one another first.
Let's not rush into things.
The past takes far too long to get over.
I only wish I could cry but I can't.
At least when I cry it will get out my system.
May be it's best to write poetry to clear my mind instead.
Cause I like you a lot, I know I was unsure at first, change is a new thing.
I will look forward to a new slow start.
I find it hard to eat and sleep.
I can't stop thinking about you.
I understand that I am not on my own, you have a past to get over too.
This is why it's wise not to rush into things.14.6.2009
Whatever life throws at me.
I must be strong!
I must be brave!
I must be calm!
Heart breaks happen to us all.
Sara fall down and get back up again!
For the first time in your life, don't be weak! 12.7.2009
Feelings.
I still love you with all my heart.
When you left me life became rather hard.
It seems as if my loving feelings for you are there for a life time.
However you feel for me, how I feel for you stays.
You are my best caring male friend.
I mean every word I say.
I still care and worry about you a lot.
Please don't think about saying a lot.
I don't want to come bet ween happiness now, it's not just about what I want is it?
I must carry to accept whatever the future holds.
I must be happy with the life I have got.
Deep down the memories of you are not forgotten. 26.2.2000
Love's young dream.
I will kiss you until we get together.
It's time to have time apart.
We will miss one another when we leave.
When I see you again I will be happy again. Late 20th - Early 21st century.
Hoping to move on.
>Hope is a wishful thinking word.
Thinking can be very hard to do these days.
No jobs and no college courses until September.
It seems ages now wait for exam results but it won't be long now I hope.
Why do people go from education when jobs are so hard to find?
Where's the light at the end of the tunnel?
There just does not seem to be any spaces for any jobs mainly with a lot of companies closing down. Late 20th century onwards.
Your history.
You cheated on me.
You lied to me.
I finished with you because I would not put up with you for the rest of my life.
I need one big help to get over you.
It just takes pen and paper to get my anger and pain out then we are through.
I don't need to lay, your not worth it, it's true. Late 20th century onwards.
Sorry I am here.
I am sorry I am here.
I am sorry I was born.
Sorry for the grief I have caused the world.
I did not mean to cause hard work to you all.
Do I have any good in me at all?
I am a human being I make mistakes just all of you.
I am a disabled person society seems to put me down for making mistakes all the time.
Life does not seem to be worth living or dieing if it's like that.
If that's the case why are we here? Late 20th century onwards.
There's only so low you can go.
We all accept that life can't be good to us all the time.
We know that there's no need to break down at the most little things.
There's only so low you can go.
Running and hiding is not going to change a thing but grief is another thing.
There's more than one person who has to cope with sadness, anger and pain.
It's more how we react to whatever we are going through. Late 20th century onwards.
You find it hard to believe.
You find it to believe that I still love you.
If I don't love you what am I still doing in your life?
You are still the love of my life.
If anyone loves you so much it's me.
Who will love you as long as I have done?
Who knows what the future brings?
If our love does not last a life time I may not love again.Late 20th century onwards.
Let's have a quiet night!
Let's stop in together, your place or mine?
Let's not see a sole.
Let's enjoy love and passion in our own way!
Sooner or later the dark nights are drawing in.
Put the heating on as both of us hug together.
Why not warm up like toast until we roast.
Today we have lost our old fashioned ways with the coal and electric fires doing home made toast on the forks on the fires. Late 20th century onwards.
Summer.
>Good night sleep tight.
Too hot to sleep so count sheep.
If you can sleep please dream of me.
Tomorrow the sun will rise from the rain to make a rainbow.
Red sky at night shepherd's delight.
Good brave people lose their lives to keep us alive.
Too much war but hardy any peace in the world today. Late 20th century onwards.
I find it hard to show my love.
It's so hard to show love to one another every night of the week.
I know we spend too much time together.
I keep thinking to myself I must walk the streets alone but I never do it.
I do it to be strong to be without you.
I will have a mobile phone in case you want me at any point. 2001 - 2009
Thinking about you.
Here I am thinking about you, after twelve years together.
Ok, we slit up for four of those years but you were the still the one I loved.
Alright I met someone else so did you.
I know I don't show you how I feel but I am waiting for you to make the first move for love. 2001 onwards.
Relationships part two.
When we think of the word relationships we think of lovers.
Relationships are a way of getting knowing one another.
You have relationships with your family and friends but not in the same way as your lovers.
Friends are people who you saw in school, work, college out in the pub and etc.
Families who have raised you since birth. Late 20th century onwards.
Blank.
Do you go blank at a point you can't think?
Your in a writing mood but you don't what to write.
When you are sitting at home for a long time, does your head in.
You either think too much or not at all.
Sitting in the house on a hot summer's day is a waste of life.
Take a walk to the library out in the fresh air.
Get some ideas together from different books. Late 20th century onwards.
Goodness knows why.
Goodness knows why I love you, called me mad but I do.
I would lie if I told you I did not love you.
You know you can be romantic if you want to.
You make me happy.
You make me sad.
You make me laugh.
You make me cry.
That's what love is goodness why.
All the time your always on my mind.
I can't help who I fall in love with.
That person happens to be you.
I can't believe I still feel the same about you after all these years. Late 20th century onwards.
Time to put things right.
Don't think I will put the blame on you forever.
You told me it was the most silly mistake you ever made.
When you left me for her I thought I was having a long nightmare.
You also told me that I drove you away, I am so sorry I was not aware that was the case.
We hurt one another really badly, I think it's time to put it behind and start again.
Let's try to enjoy our lives together and put the past behind us.
Life is full of bad and good. 2001 onwards.
Why do I love you.
I love your smile and laugh.
You cheer me up and make me laugh.
You then make me sad and mad.
I love you when you get close to me.
You can make me feel calm when I get fed up of this society.
I love you for what you give me in life.
I love you for your love and kisses.
I am here for you if you want me too.
Like everyone we get our good and bad times. Late 20th century onwards
Forgotten.
I have a memory but I have forgotten.
It does not seem to make sense.
What is your name?
I forgot, don't tell me.
I don't want to remember.
What did you look like?
It does not matter I think I may have had a nightmare.
Did you kiss me as my month poured with blood?
So what, why did I ask that question?
Were we in love?
No it was just a big mistake.
Last I heard of you, you were married.
You ask me to marry you, I told you no but good luck to her.
It was only a dream that we were close.
I can never even remembered the music you listened to.
It was only a nightmare that I woke up in tears to.
I have forgotten so much I am so glad you went off with her. 2000
The love of my life.
I know we need some time apart, I am trying to sort things out so I can give you some space.
The last thing I want is to lose you again.
I want to be able to miss you so I can put my arms around you when I do see you.
I want to be able to earn a bit more money in my pocket so I can give you space but finding work is hard.
College is off for the summer until September.
May be I am still living in those old fashioned ways waiting to see how the man I love feels about me.
I wonder if we will still love one another in twenty years time.
Will you still be mine? 2001 onwards.
It has not been easy.
Even though we slit up and fall out so often we love one another.
So many times I have cried over you.
We have so many wishes not hurting one another like we have done.
The loving nights we have had all these years together.
Why can't we bring them back.
You may not think so but my love gets strong all the time for you.
How we manage to love and hurt one another I don't know. 2001 onwards.
What does valentines day mean to me?
When it rains there's no love for me.
When sun is out I feel as if love is about.
When there is rain then there is sun love is on then it is off.
This is how feel on valentines day. Late 20th century onwards.
I wish I had not.
Why do I say things that I don't mean?
How much I wish I had not said what I said to you last night.
Why did I say I wanted a man to treat me bad?
May be there's no looking back on what I say to you.
I will be lucky if you forgive me.
I don't blame you if you tell me it's too late.
I should have shown my love for you.
I'm very lucky if I can show how I feel about you. Late 20th century onwards.
The next day.
I can't remember whether I drank or not.
I must have said a lot of bad things to you last night, I'm so sorry about that.
I wish last night had not have happened but it did.
I wish we could stop hurting one another so much as we love one another so much.
I never know or not whether you are in the mood for love.
I am frightened in case you feel I am doing what you don't want.
Whatever mood your in, I know your tired when you finish work. 2001 onwards.
Sometimes it's hard to forgive.
Even when you love someone it can be hard to forgive.
It can even be hard to not to forgive.
Sometimes it can be hard to love a person again.
Some people forgive others don't.
Some people feel love for others, others don't.
Now I just have a set friends which is good. 2001 onwards.
I forgive you.
I forgive you what you did to me years ago.
Goodness knows why I do!
I forgive you because I love you.
May be I have forgiven but I have not forgotten.
May be I was partly to blame too, I may have driven you away.
I am trying hard to change so are you. 2001 onwards.
Never fall in love.
Never fall in love, once you get into love it's hard to get out of it's like a drug.
Love can also be hard to want to get out of.
I have loved so many times, you'd think I'd understand it but I don't.
When I was younger I thought I understood love: I thought I knew all but I did not.
Happiness starts then sadness ends until you love the same person again or someone new.
Love is a never ending story, the same feelings but different reasons for those feelings.
Very few people last forever.
Relationship break ups can cause depression and even loneliness.
Once that depression kicks it's hard to beat it.
Love is a strange that we can't live with or without. Late 20th century onwards.
I love poetry.
I love poetry it helps me get things out of my head.
I tend to feel a bit bad because poetry is not a lot of people's cup of tea, well it's poetree.
It's hard to keep people interested because you can't help what goes on inside your head.
Poetry is my way of saying I feel good and bad about things.
I love you poetry you help me get by but bet ween do we interest our readers? Late 20th century onwards.
My writing helps my relationship.
My writing helps my relationship, gives me time to think alone.
All it takes is putting pen to paper and typing it on computer.
I write about more than just relationships.
I need a little job to earn enough money to save up for publishers. Late 20th century onwards.
My only love.
You may think I don't love you but your wrong.
You know how I feel about you as well as I do.
I have known twelve years too long to not love you.
What am I doing in your life if I don't love you?
Why do you let me in if you don't love me?
We are both pains in the backside in our own ways.
There are times when we get one another down but no one's eyes compares with yours.
If I could put more into this relationship I would.
There's so many things I find hard to explain. 2005 to 2006.
Why do we complain?
No money and no job.
To make more friends.
Never mind who knows what the future brings?
Why do we complain?
When we could have been born into a world of no food on the table and no education.
We could have been born into dirty places in many cases no places at all.
Rubbish left in bins.
Everyone has to live life we can't always avoid it no matter what happens.Late 20th century onwards.
You are worth my while?
I have spent so many nights and days missing you and thinking about you but you are worth my while.
I can't help but liking you in a special way?
You have been there for me when times are hard time, they still are, I thank you so much even though you situations are hard.
I have accepted your hard situation from the start.
May be it's hard for you to believe in me because of what you have been through with other women.
If you let me I will carrying on taking the situation on board, no matter what the situation is
I know how you feel I have been there before with men, trusting is a very hard thing.
I know you like me in a special way too.
This is a private poem to say what's going through my mind.
I know special bonds can fail but I am with you as long as you want me.
You paid interest in me, I wasn't sure at first.
It was a shock to know that someone was interested in me at that early stage of me having hard time with ex partner.
It took me a week or two to know that I am interested you after all.
I was in a bad state of mind at time, which I am still going through a hard time with my ex partner, I don't need anymore stress. 29.6.10
It came when I wasn't looking?
I wouldn't have known any different if you hadn't have told me you felt this way towards me.
If I had liked you in a special way the same as I do without you telling me, I would have took it that you didn't feel the same way, then I would have moved on.
I wouldn't have told you if you hadn't of told me.
Was I dreaming, I'm sorry if I was dreaming.
I have taken everything there is to take on board.
I will go on taking the situation on board if you will let me.
I wouldn't go along with it if I wasn't keen on you.
I wouldn't say things I don't mean if I wasn't keen.
I don't lie, mess about or change my mind and I stick to my word.
I don't string men along.
I understand trust is hard for you so it is for me.
I'm not perfect is anyone? No!
I've done my best to not give you any stress so I will carrying on trying to be the same.
I understand that nothing lasts forever but I'm here as long as you want me.
If you ever love someone else, I know you will tell me.
I will move on if I have to.
I know you won't leave me in the dark wondering what's going if you have anything to tell me.
I have trusted you with all my heart from the start, I will carry on doing so if you let me.
29.6.10
It needs to be time to go now.
It seems to be a good time to go now.
You told me last night my friendship and support isn't enough so there's no point me coming down.
Let's see if you strong enough?
Who cares if you not, you've only made life hard for yourself.
What goes around comes around.
You won't know who you have lost until you have lost me.
I can't through anymore with you and I don't have loving feelings for you anymore.
If you don't understand that I will have to go, you blew it yourself.
I have tried to be your friend but you want more out of that I haven't got the feelings to give anymore.
Us rowing like this isn't fair on your Mum.
You always get like this when you have too much to drink.
Your such hard work whether your drunk or not.
You row with everyone. 4th July 2010
I'm getting away from you.
I've had enough, I'm getting away from you.
I think I have just woke up from a long nightmare.
The shock will come to you one day soon enough.
The lonely and lost change will come to you.
I understand what you are going through but you have only made things worse for yourself.
Why should I feel guilty and bad about leaving you like you hurt me three years ago and many times before that.
I have made too many chances, no more, what do you think about that.
I have taken you back so many times because I loved, I tried been your friend but you have now made me hate you.
After you upset me last night I don't even want to see you no more.
I'm taking no more.
You never loved me when I loved you, now you lie to me saying you love me now I don't love you.
May be things have turned round, I'm not going to change back to the soft person I was before.
You won't walk over me like a door mat anymore.
You have blew it all, soon I will be out the door.
You shouldn't play silly games.
You will never change you will always be the same.
I have put up with your silly games for too many years, no more.
We can't go on forever like this at least I can't. July 4th 2010
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