Sorry, there is no easy way
for me to write without making myself misunderstood without making any sense to
my work and one does not know if readers are finding one’s work interesting or
not. Please bear with me as I am dyslexic. I will be honest to say I would like
to be a writer but I try not to chase it, I just seem to write what’s going on
in my mind, I don’t find it easy to know what interesting what isn’t but I will
do my best to do so.
I have just seen a report on
the internet about Ted Hughes and Sylver Plate the poets, their daughter Freida
Hudge is not happy that her father was blamed for her Mother’s death back in
1963, which I can’t say I blame her.
Although I faced a similar situation and me
admit I thought the opposite now to what I did at the time but now I am glad it
was not to be. Of course, when you love someone it’s most heartbreaking if they
don’t feel the same but we can’t have things the way we want all the time even
though it’s easy said than done when you want someone or and something so much,
I haven’t forgotten that feeling.
I can’t say that I don’t understand how Syler
must have felt, I had my times thinking at the time I was going to give up and
felt I was going to but somehow I pulled and I’m sorry that most people don’t
but I never judge them to say, oh they could have tried harder because I know
it’s not easy. Most people who have lived through the depression and emotional
stress will say the same, it is so hard to see the light at the end of the
tunnel. A lot of us who pulled through did it without realizing we were going.
This is not an easy topic to
talk to about because for some of us things do get better but that’s not easy
for those whose lives have not improved and also there are plenty of others out
there who are facing it and only just facing, even for those have faced themselves
it hard for us to say to those facing because it’s unknown whether or they are
going to pull through it or not, all we can do is be there for them the best we
can be.
If there’s anything I have
learned from my experience is, that you can’t change a person to what and who
you want them to be just because you're in love with, as hard as it sounds if
they are going to leave the relationship or and go off with someone else they
will. I can understand anyone who going through this feeling angry with
what I said just, it is hard to believe and understand and you may not believe
I have faced what I faced now but yes I did, I just had to learn to accept that
he didn’t love me anymore, which was hard and hard for me to believe now
because I feel nothing for him now, but then to be he was my word even though I
knew he was treating me like dirt but somehow I thought the world him, which is
hard to understand why did now but this could be an example many things not
just someone you fell in love with then he/ she has left you.
Despite the fact of the state
of mind I was in, without planning to I wrote poetry as well as getting
counseling which didn’t agree to that at first because I feared that people
thought I was round the twist, bend, out of my mind, etc, which I wasn’t and
neither is anyone else whose facing emotional stressed, you are just broken
hearted over how life is treating you. As much as it’s wrong for a person to
break your heart, this is hard to say yes it’s understanding how can feel like
giving up and ending it all, it hurts them as hurt just not having anything done
with them anymore most so than considering it as a jail sentence because it’s
more so a choice someone makes compare to literacy robbing some, murdering
someone etc. However’ yes I agree emotional stress can be even hard to come to
terms with even when you have walked away from it can take years, saying that
no one’s length of time to move on is the same and even when you have it’s still
haunting you maybe not as often as it was but still is, this can vary for everyone
though and no one will ever know why.
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