Wednesday, 30 March 2022

Tips and advice for those of you on our disability groups try and make friends with members successfully and safely, those who may want to.

 Hopefully, these tips and advice won't just help you to make and keep you safe and maybe make friends successfully, which know whatever we do and don't we cannot promise that we would be lying if we did and lying is something we don't do. Here we want to provide ways so you don't get blocked by someone and what may stop you from blocking someone. It is not telling you what to do, this is just advice and tips, don't need to take notice but they may help you if you do.

Like we said before we are not forcing people to be friends or not make friends but for those who may want to and all of you we don't want to you feel frightened of trying to make friends because our rules, our are there to try and make everyone feel safe. For example, asking those you don't know if you can private message or and friend request them, which means if they ask you they need to respect your answer, and also if you like you need to answer at all. They need to request your wishes what you say or not, if you ask them they need to accept your reaction to. 


sorry for the long-winded rules as 3 Admins have been hacked including myself and 2 of us have been mentally abused on private messages trying to help 3 members, who we blocked. Plus in past friendship groups, we have had members reporting members for contacting them when most hadn't even spoken to one another before. We don't want the same to happen to you.
What is on private message is between you and the person you are chatting to but safety-wise we are here for you.
We have no intentions of running your lives but as we all know not everyone knows one another on Facebook, 3 of us have been hacked, abused by 3 members we blocked on private messages while we were helping, we do not want the same or similar happening to you as it has to us if that happens hopefully not feel free to report to us if it is from anyone on this group people or person. This is why we make the rule no pming or and friends requests unless asking permission and someone says yes unless you know someone as friends, family, someone you went to school, work college or elsewhere any other reason.
This means the same with another contact too, phone, video chat, profile, etc.
Ask people you don't know and if you don't know you first if you can contact them first, don't just contact them or say you going to ask them if you can. I know people and you know for sure they will be fine for you to contact them, that's okay as long as they are okay.
Sorry if this is over the top as we had a disabled friendship in the past where members were reporting other members, contacting them many had not even spoken to each other before and some were hearing off people they didn't want to hear off.
However' despite the rules, this is a chat and social group to share chat about, post your hobbies, interests, careers, etc anything you enjoy, more information is further down this post, description, and website link, please have fun but respect everyone on the group to how they feel, think, etc as well as yourself. Chat, post about what you want but nothing rude, nasty, negative, etc towards anyone or anything. Feel free to report any problems you may face, more information on this post, description, and our website links.
Just letting know that this is not a dating group, which doesn't matchmake people together we cannot stop what happens outside the group but we offer emotional support if you ask for it.
Remember members and Admins have their say, meaning if you want if you wish to pm an Admin it must not be socially as Admins are here to work on the group unless you know us unless we give you permission to do so.




Tips and advice on how to be glad for life friendship, which doesn't necessarily mean we are always right, you don't to go along with us but it may help you if you do, don't know everything.

Respect one another

Be kind to one another

Never force anyone into anything they don't want.

Never ask someone about their past, if it's said let it be said by them.

No matter what your money situation is never ask someone for money. 

Never give personal contact details unless, until, etc you get to know one another for a long time if meet up we advice do not go to each other's houses, meet somewhere out and about like cath, pub, etc, try to find safe places, feel free to ask us for travel information, etc if needs be. 

Always take no for answer even if you think it's unfair if you feel it is necessary to find out more from the person make the situation as less stressful as possible, do not row with the person or and don't focus on things out on them, etc. 

If your chat starts to get stressful try to bring on a positive subject. 

If they do choose to give you their contact details do not give them to another person unless they give permission to do, even then only give them to those the person says you can.

Do try to be helpful to the person. If they don't wish to tell you anything don't force it out of them but let them know you are here for them if they want to chat. Lots of people face mental health and mental services get very busy these days so does our Admin team therefore if you make good friendships your not only helping yourselves one another you helping us, your friend in crisis and mental health services. To be a good friend is to be a good listener, don't force them to talk about the problem it may be something it may be noting some can feel sad, angry, etc without and without a reason. Let them know you are here if they wish to talk. Always respect their privacy never tell anyone what they do without their permission, if they say you tell anyone only say whoever they say you. However, if you have any concerns for their safety let them know you will need to contact or advice them to mental health service or write a message on our group asking me or and one of our Admin team to private message them if neither of us cannot deal with their situation we will give them information online, websites, etc, even contacts crisis team, etc if we feel to what they say, we concern that they may be in risk. If we are aware you and the person are friends we will advise them if they can if we know your private message each other to private message you for them to let you know how they are. 

Do not bully, abuse, or be nasty to the person in any way.

Try to bring on positive subjects such as hobbies, interests, careers, famous people you both may like, your careers, study, works, etc. 

It might be also what you like doing socially etc, going to the pub, pictures, etc.

Favorite film, music, etc. 

However, if you have tried everything can and your help isn't making any difference to the person, they may not be trying to help themselves, they may be abusive, nasty to you, etc, they may not be talking for an answer, they may be forcing you into things you don't want, etc, please feel free to report it to us, provide proof, let us know the group you're facing a problem don't say who and what on the group. Ask for an Admin, don't put the proof on the group, if whoever replies to your message, whichever admin I mean they don't wish to pm you they will say but they will let know they will try to get another Admin or and myself. please be patient as we are all on and offline at different times, if you don't feel safe in the group if we are not around by all means you don't necessarily need to leave unless you wish to but it's fine for you to not go on the group if you wish till one of us can pm you. which may not depend on, what happens when we do pm you in your view. Proof of the problem will be the most helpful to us to see whose problem to you and then there's no reason for us to block and remove people who haven't done anything wrong. 

Just a reminder if you face a problem from anyone in the group, on your private message, profile, or on our groups, feel free to report that to us, whichever one of us and when we pm you have the proof ready to put the proof of the problem, person on and people on to the Admin's private message who PMs you we advise for your own safety please do not put the proof on the group, even though it's proof of the truth the person or people you may have caused your problem may cause more problem but we will block and remove them from the groups, our PMS, our profiles if we are added as a friend to them, etc and we advise you to block them from your pm and profile if you added to them but wait until we are able to see the proof first. If don't feel safe to go on the groups while waiting for us, keep a look ever so often for our pm, then don't on the groups till we have PMed you, also if the person or and carry pming you while you waiting for us, we advise not to reply to their messages because the more problems they try to cause the more reasons we will have to block them. Also, if they see you're not replying, at some point as time goes on they may get fed up of carrying on anyway. Once we have seen your proof and you can block them so can we. 

including contact details of services, charities, etc who are more trained than we such as counseling, etc on our group description on the right-hand side.
Mind Infoline is open 9am to 6pm, Monday to Friday. We're closed outside of those hours. But there are people you can talk to any time: call Samaritans on 116 123 (UK-wide)
http://www.stophateuk.org/ 0800 138 1625
WWW.crimestoppers-uk.org 0800 555 111
Learning Disability Hate Crime Stop Crime Helpline 0800 802 1155
http://www.mind.org.uk/ 0300 123 3393 email info@mind.org.uk
Samaritans WWW.sameritans.org 08457 90 90 90
Elder Abuse WWW. ageuk.org.uk 0808 808 81141
Victim Support WWW,victimsupport.org.uk 08045 3030 900
NHS medical help non-emergency 111 WWW.nhs. the UK
NSPCC Helpline WWW.nspcc.org.uk 0808 800 5000
Citizens Advice 0844 111 444 from landline 0300 330 06550 from mobile and WWW.adviceguide.org.uk
Community legal advice 0845 345 4345 WWW.justice.org.uk
Emergency 999
https://www.nidirect.gov.uk/articles/mental-health-services
http://inspiritedminds.org.uk/
https://www.nidirect.gov.uk/articles/mental-health-emergency-if-youre-crisis-or-despair
https://www.facebook.com/groups/AnxietyandDepressionThebigtalk/
https://www.rethink.org/diagnosis-treatment/treatment-and-support/crisis-teams


Free listening services

These services offer confidential support from trained volunteers. You can talk about anything that's troubling you, no matter how difficult:

If you're under 19, you can also call 0800 1111 to talk to Childline. The number will not appear on your phone bill.

https://sandyhealthcentre.nhs.uk/practice-information/a-z-list-of-organisations-for-mental-health/

https://www.time-to-change.org.uk/mental-health-and-stigma/help-and-support

https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/helplines/

http://www.rethink.org/about-us/our-mental-health-advice

http://www.themix.org.uk/get-support

https://www.rethink.org/aboutus/what-we-do/advice-and-information-service/get-help-now/

https://www.derbyshirehealthcareft.nhs.uk/contact-us

https://www.supportline.org.uk/problems/mental-health/

https://www.betterhelp.com/helpme/?utm_source=AdWords&utm_medium=Search_PPC_c&utm_term=online+therapists+uk_b&utm_content=41285265838&network=g&placement=&target=&matchtype=b&utm_campaign=384715930&ad_type=text&adposition=&gclid=Cj0KCQjw8_qRBhCXARIsAE2AtRYbnFep8b5YMS-jphCGVH_5ZKAYS7-_h2k9NfdzQKPl3RdR4cfoQvoaAgFGEALw_wcB&not_found=1&gor=helpme

https://www.betterhelp.com/?utm_source=AdWords&utm_medium=Search_PPC_c&utm_term=online%20therapists%20uk_b&utm_content=41285265838&network=g&placement=&target=&matchtype=b&utm_campaign=384715930&ad_type=text&adpo

https://safehelpline.org/?gclid=Cj0KCQjw8_qRBhCXARIsAE2AtRZC_r9qn81TYV6OwyYSDlfzx2M_q8B-kHRY76s0WJcbP6QEKJAvSUgaAnfgEALw_wcB

https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/guides-to-support-and-services/crisis-services/helplines-listening-services/

https://www.helpguide.org/articles/suicide-prevention/suicide-prevention.htm

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