Sara Revealed: Some or all poems at all different times.

The future is anyone's guess.

No one can say who with and how your going to spend your old age with.

We should stop living in dream world and let life live and be.

Thinking that live is always going to be the same, we are just failing ourselves hoping for too much.

Never say never but if you do say never, never say never forever.

It's too easy to think the next person is going to be like the last but never think that.

Forgive if you can but start a fresh and forget the past.

If that forgiveness does not work start something fresh and new.

We all make mistakes but please try not to keep making the same mistakes 2000 onwards

When we first got together.

When I first looked at you I wanted you.

You knew I wanted you.

The butterflies flew through my stomach.

How it broke my heart when we broke up.
I missed you so much.

When I saw you with her our love turned to hate.

Everyone must have thought I was mad loving you as much as I did.

I madly took you back because I missed you so much. 2001


Yesterday was another day.

Yesterday was another so just forget what happened if it was a bad day.

Today is what counts so dust yourself down and start all over again.

Tomorrow could be good or bad so just get through today.

There are plenty of days to come but make the most of the good days because they don't last forever. 2000.


Life alone.

You are my friend when I get home my table, chair, radio, computer and television.

My sink, cupboards, toaster, fridge, cooker, microwave and food.

Toilet, sink, bath and shower.

Bed, dressing table, bed side lamp, book, clock, television and wardrobe. 2000 onwards

What would it be like to see nobody?

It would be a lonely world to see nothing and nobody.

The thing is though that you will have nobody to answer you back.

The bad thing is that there will be no one to talk to.

It's dark when you are alone.

Sometimes you do more on your own.

Other times you need help in life. 2000 onwards


Nobody ever goes away.

You sleep beside me.

You move around my bed.

You keep me strong no matter what happens in my life.

Where would I be without you?

Just let me think your there even if you may not.

I need to be strong to get through in life.


You may not be anyone but when I don't want people to answer me back you don't.

You are not anyone, you just my voice be heard.

I talk to myself, people may think I am mad so what?

I only talk to myself about the things that don't get agreed with. 2000 onwards.



Life it's self.

Whatever you have got good keep hold of it.

Take chances that are good that you don't very often get.

Try not to do anything bad that you wish you had not.

Think very carefully before you do anything, it may seem good at the time but turn out a bad idea in the end. 2000 onwards.


Old life.

It's a sad case living on the streets?

Who are they and how did they get there in the first place?

Why are they on the streets?

Most people are sitting outside shops asking for money.

Blankets and getting drunk to keep warm.

Asking for money for food and drink outside cafes. 2000 onwards.

Too much to drink.

You can't remember a thing.

You can't remember what you had said or done.

When people tell you the next day, with some people you don't know whether they are telling you the truth or not.

How do you know whether you have good friends or not? 2000 onwards.

The writing office.

To be able to choose your own hours would be a great idea.

Nice and warm but costly.

Just work in the quiet.


Make your own free time and see people you know.


Write poems, stories and study.

Become self employed.

Only answer to the publishers. 2000 onwards.

How can you think when you drink?

How can you think when your drunk, it beats me?

How can you write when you are drunk other than feeling drunk?

You could write about feeling drunk.

Start work again when you are sober.

Anyone writing when they are drunk can't think, write and walk straight.

I have a job thinking when I am sober let a lone when I am drunk. 2000 onwards.

How drinking can wreck your life.

Drinking can wreck your family.

Drinking can wreck you as a person.

Drinking can wreck marriages, relationship and friendships.

Drinking can wreck jobs and careers.

May be just have one night in a while to get drunk. 2000 onwards.


Drinking.

A lot of people like a drink but drinking too much is not good for anyone.

Once in a blue moon have a heavy night out.

As long as your not drunk every night of the week.


The effects of drinking is not worth it.

Bad head, bad leg, being and feeling sick.

You can pay the price for a long while for being drunk.

Problems are still there the next day but drained away with drink at the time. 2000 onwards.

It happens.

When you meet someone you could fall in love.

When you break up one's heart breaks another.

You seem to think the person who has hurt you has not got any feelings at all but that is not always a case if there's a good reason for the break up.

Some people feel guilty when they hurt people if they love them, it just so happens it's not always to be.

The most common reasons for ended love is that you may not have given one another a great deal of time to get to know one another.

It's also agreed that most people don't feel any guilt at all.2000 onwards.


I am no one special.

I should think no one not even my family know how to take me.

I am not very bright but most of the time I can think of things to write.

I know I need to be strong enough not to care about what people think about me. 2000 onwards.


Not everyone is lucky enough.

Not everyone is lucky to be famous or see themselves famous.

Being famous is not always lucky enough because it's not all what it cuts out to be.

These people have a lot of money but it does not mean they have enough time to spend it because they spend too hours working.

I can't say I will be famous but If I don't see my world shown to the world then my money will go to my family.

My work is not that good I can't see myself been famous but never say never.


I say the same about my career as I do for loving someone, never build my hopes up but never say never. 2000 onwards.


I love you.

I love you for you, don't you forget I do.

I would like you to think that you love me for me too.

You should not love a person for what you can get out them.

I will help you if you help me.

I want you to understand me like I understand you.

I want you to bring me up not bring me down.

I want to find more friends to go out with so you can go out with your friends.

I want to change the kind of person I am but it just takes time.

We must listen to one another.

We must stop hurting one another. 2000 onwards


Life is war.

Life is war from the day you are born.

All because life is full of problems one way or another.

Money and children seem to be the most important problems to deal with.

Education, getting work, driving and etc.

Why am I worrying?

In today's world everyone is in the same boat part from I don't have children and don't drive.

Far too much traffic on the roads.

The world is too dangerous to live in for adults as well as children.

People who have passed exams can't get jobs.

What will be left of us, I don't know.

What it will be in the next generation I dread to think.

I am glad I am not here in the next century.

That we will never know. 2000 onwards.

What do we really want in life?

There are times we want to just get away from Britain.

Very often there's a reason why we can't leave Britain.

There are times that I know I want to make the most of my life like we all do.
You only live once. 2000 onwards.


I remember.

I remember Queen the 2nd's Sliver Jubilee 1977.

I was just seven and a half years old.

Jubilee parties were all along the streets, it was also shown television.

So many years later in 1981, the Queen's Prince Charlies married Lady Dianna. 2000 onwards.

Does anyone know and understand why we are here?

Asking what we are doing on this planet is a silly question that no one knows the answer to.

Are we here for a reason or did it just happen?

May be there is or is not a reason.

What we do know is that we are born to two people male and female.

Whether we are planned or not is another matter.

How we are made and is know to all of us.

How we are born is never known unless we are told.

The kind of people we are normally counts.

The unanswered questions of why the world is here in the first place is a wonder to us all. 2000 onwards.


Rain I don't like.

I don't like the cold rain.

I don't like the cold wind.

The wind and rain together is even worse.

The rain at night washes the moon and the stars away.

It's far too wet for the birds to fly.


I can't wait for the sunshine to rise again.

We should have very little rain when the sun shines. 2000 onwards.

Not enough hours in the day.

So much to do but very little time to do it.

So many things that need doing that don't get done.

Life is far too short to waist.

Life may look like a long piece of string but it is not long enough spread our wings.
The years have gone long before your very eyes.

If you want something to happen, it's up to you to make it happen.

It does not happen if you do nothing.

Time goes too slow if you don't do anything but too fast if you do.

When you least except it something happens not when your looking for it therefore you do except it.

Things don't happen the way I said every single time but that's how it happens most of the time. 2000 onwards.


Your there.

There's a bright star in the sky at night.

That bright star is you up there.

The stars are good people like you who we miss in heaven.


That includes the full and half moon.

I never understood where it all came from. 2000 onwards.


Keep the clocks running fast.

The clock runs very slow if you are sitting at home staring into space.

If you have things to do like I do, you'd be surprised how quickly time will go.

I can never understand people who won't do anything.

I do what I can do because there's a limit what I can do. 2000 onwards.


The bus station.

Britain has a mixed raise.

Too many people knocking into one another.

Too much nose, drugs, bad manners and disrespect.

Britain is living in a depression state, the 21st century could be the worse of all.

I am only glad I won't here to see the 22nd century. 2000 onwards.

I know it would be good for us to spread our wings.

Stuck in the same places day after day.

You just feel as if you are in prison all the while.

This is all because of very little money from the dole on things that are too much money.

I guess we should be glad for what we have got otherwise it's all or nothing.

The rich are getting richer and the poor are getting poorer.

We are not free in this society anyway. 2000 onwards.


Rain.

Why worry about the rain when it's warm other than being wet.

You may need to cool down after a hot day but the rain can go on good many days and nights.

Why not sing in the rain when it's raining anyway?

If the rain is deep, why not swim, bath, shower and wash your hair in it.

It would be cleaner to have a shower and stand up in the rain.

Don't do a Gena Kelly holding the umbrella `SINGING IN THE RAIN. 2000 onwards


your in heaven.

I know I can't see you but may be there is a place called Heaven.

May be the trees and clouds cover you up so you can't be seen.
Heaven is your paradise.

Earth is the place and the truth of mess.

Let's face facts, the truth hurt's but it's what really goes on.

The good things are either here or there, they are most lies, just dreams and things that don't really happen. 2000 onwards.


Friends.

People say that friends are there for you forever but that's never always the case.

Some people are still there for you others are not.

I have only had one friendship in school that has lasted 30 odd years.
Most people come and go out of your life.

Some people don't want to know you at all. 2000 onwards.

Good friends.

If you treat your friends with respect you will get the same respect back.

I have had many happy times with my friend Molly, we have know one since we were four to six years of age.

Every now and then we still see one another after 30 odd yrs.

We both talk about the childhood years we spend together and how life is today.

We went to birthday parties together, had tea at each other houses after school, played games and with our toys together. 2000 onwards.



My very good friend Stacey.

My very good friend Stacey, you were so good to me.

I can only wish I could return the favor back but it's too late now.

I only clashed one fag to her, she crashed me loads.

Stacey was such a great laugh.

She was so kind she bough people load of drinks. 2000 onwards.

No one will replace you.

When we slit I never felt the same when I moved on to love someone else.

I wanted you back with me.

I'd been with you far too long to be without you.

Now I am brave enough to be without you because I am used to it.

I don't love you anymore like I did before.

That does not mean I want to hurt you, I just want to get with my new life.

Don't change your mind now because you wanted me out of your life! Late 1998 - 2001.


ow times have changed.

I thought school was bad enough for me, until I heard on the news about today's children killing the teachers.


Has it been worth my while?

I have spent so man night and days missing you and thinking about you.

What have I done wrong other than liking you in a very special way?

If you like me in this way, you'd be honest with me and tell me what's going.

Sorry if I'm making a fuss for no reason.

lately

The world is not perfect but what happened to learning right from wrong?

In my school days we had bullies which was bad enough but children who murder.

Today adults can't punish like they used to.

Where are children finding guns and knives?

I know it is not all down to children but this is why it's become a dangerous world or have we just woken up to the real world?

Yesterday's children played cowboys and Indians but we did not grow to murder, if so very few did like Mary Bell in the 1960s. 2000 onwards.
My long time lover.

Your always on my mind.

I am always dreaming about you at night and thinking about you in the day.

I am always wishing you are right beside me.

The engagement ring you put on my finger means a lot to me, even though you may not love me anymore.
Please believe that I still love you though.

We have been together on and off for twelve years.

We have been through the hard times just like all people.

May be one day I will have the chance to show my love for you again, only when I know that you love me. 2006


Society.

I am a single person who can't stand stopping in at night.

I see people round the Wolverhampton who seem fed of life.

Life is how it is, there are good and bad people everywhere.

Some people are kind and other people are very strange.

Too many people sitting on streets begging for money and cigarettes.

If they are strangers to you, never give them anything.

Some people may have had hard times but others may just give you hard times.

You can't tell what people are like if you don't know them. 2000 onwards.


Parents.

Parents can mess you head up, most of them don't mean and other do it in a nice way.

We must remember that parents are human too and they are someone's children too.

They have childhood histories just like we do.

With some parents what they went through they put on to you but other parents don't do that.

Many parents stop together too long when they are not getting on.

Love can be hard to break even when there's a lot of hate.

Not all parents are the same but don't bring the next generation!

We are only human beings we can't please our kids all the time.

That's one of the reasons I have not got any kids, I would not be good at it and I would not please no matter hard I try.

See the world of freedom.

Think how many times you can have freedom without been tied down.

To be fare like every human being.

Today is a dangerous world without any punishment by the rules of the law.

You can't tell who is a good and bad parent because no one can put their child on the right track without been punished by the law.

Society is allowing today's children to go as wild as they want to. 2000 onwards.

Time goes by.

We have been together twelve years on and off.

Ok, we fell apart and got bad together like fools.

At the end of the day we love and care for one another.

People may well think we are mad.

We may well be wrong for one another but love keeps us hanging on together.2006

Love.

Love can happen when you don't except it.

When you look for love you can't find but it can come when your not looking.

Like other part of life, love can make you feel happy and sad but not always at the same time. 2000 onwards.

You may see a few of poems are written from my story ' Talking To The Graves.'

How unkind life is.

You should not be lying in a coffin, in a gravestone and graveyard.

You should be lying in a romance wood with me.

We should be eating lunch in the park on hot summer's day.

We should not been dead,as you are I must be too.

Not that there is much happiness in the world today anyway.

Not that I am dead but I don't feel the joys of spring.

This winter is too cold to give happiness. 20.11.2005

How can I remember, how can I forget?

Are you just lying looking at the lid of your coffin?

Is it cold, hot, just right or don't you feel it in heaven?

How can I forget seeing your face in the newspaper?

How can I remember you face to face?

I did not meet you or saw you but you saw me.

May be all this is a dream but you still have friends from earth talking to you.

You were taken from the world before I had chance to see you as a person, let alone getting to know you. 20.11.2005

I wish.

I wish I could touch your grave, then you could come back alive.

If only you could move again, I wonder and who you could be?

Would you be an animal or a human being? Could even be both?

You could from animal to human or the other way round.

Would really matter as long as I see you?

I will never have a chance to see.

Why did you have to go? 19.11.2005


Why did you have to go?

I did not know you.

I was only dreaming about you as my dream ghost.

You saw me but I did not see you until I screamed.

You because interested in me but I did not know you.

You went to war to save other lives.

You were far too young to die.

You had a life a head of you too.

I know I am so proud of you for saving disabled people.

You gave up your life for disabled people.

When your life was taken there's was save thank you so much.20.11.2005

Back to truth I think.

It's getting closer to Freddie Mercury.

Put the beautiful flowers on your grave!

What would you like red roses?

You always seem full of romance, even when you sing your songs.

It's hard to believe that it's fifteen years to day without you.

You have broken so many hearts who miss you.

They would love to love you as well as kiss you.

Who can blame them?

You stood out so well. 19.11.2005


All change.

It does not seem as if it was a of looking at but it was at the time.

Five pound kept a family during the first and second world war.

Children did not get a lot but they were happy.

The only sad loss were lives were lost of people they knew.

Bothers, Fathers, Uncles, sons, lovers, husbands and friends who were in both world wars.

Childrens' toys did not cost anything at all because they hardy got any toys.

Hide and seek and many more were games of all that children made up themselves.

Today they get a lot more but anything they get is never enough no matter how much.

It is true when they say to us, " You don't know you born."
We must be thank for what we have got. 20.11.2005


When I write.

When I write I worry about spelling, grammar and whatever else is in English.

I know there are times that I miss words out of sentences due to me dyslexia.

Out of all that, when I get an idea to write something it takes me ages to stop.

I must get to a stage I don't interest people when I get carried away with my writing.

This is were I feel guilty because I ready want to interest my readers.

I just don't know when to stop when the mind get thinking, the pen and key board get's writing and typing.

My fingers tap away and my mind get's carried away.

There are some days I feel sure of myself and that I write alright.

There also days I have nothing in my mind at all 2007 - 2008


Been there and done.

Nothing surprises me anymore.

I have fallen down and got back up again.

I was born with lack of oxygen to the brain at birth.

I spent a lot of time after I was born in hospital because I was having a lot of fits.

I was bullied in school and many other things went on too.

My Appendixes popped when I was 13 years old.

I had Throat cancer when I was 23 year old.

I have bad luck with love of men that give me pain in the end.

Haven't we all been through these things?

Nothing surprises me good and bad anymore, I just take whatever life throws at me. 20.11.2005


Under that lovely smile.

Under that lovely smile she must have felt lonely, even though she had love and marriage.

It must have been a blow to her when she lost her Father at the age of eight.

It must have a been hard for her husband Ted living with a wife who had gone through something that had affected her so much through her childhood.

She had such a short life with her children.

Oh Sliver why did you not hang on for your childrens' sake? 20.11.2005

Stress on women.

You are on your own feeling as if the whole world is getting at you.

The good news that no one owns you.

You don't want to belong to any but yourself when life feels it's getting on top of you.

You have a lot of love to give but you don't want to depend on men, well not all the time.

You either love or you don't.

Women should be strong enough to take what happens in life, well that's what a lot of men seem to think anyway, 20.11.2005.
It's not nice.

It's not nice when it's a foggy night, which make the nights even darker.

When it's foggy everywhere seems so far away.

You can't see a sole in the street even if there are loads of people.

Drivers have to drive very careful in the dark or night.

In the fog day looks like night but the night looks even darker in the fog.

Fog makes winter even more colder than the snow mainly these days 20.11.2005.


When I feel close to you.

I feel close to you when I lye close to you.

You make me feel safe when you make me feel happy.

It would be lovely if you would stay a bit longer.

It would be lovely to stay a little longer early lye in together.

It's great when I open my eyes and you are right beside me.

I have learned to love you too long and too much I can't let go, even though you hurt me so. 2007

To the one I love.

You are the one I love so much.

You brighten up my day.

You make me feel happy but then you make me feel sad.

You guide me through that dark tunnel that I can't see.

We have been together so long that we share an everyday memory together.

Today I love more than yesterday, that's even more than before. 2007



How do I know if you love me or not if you don't tell me and show me?

You know I find it hard to stop loving you.

Can you disbelieve that I love you?

If that's the case, why am I still in your life? (Your the love of my life.)

You are now say that I don't show love towards you but you never show love towards me these days.
Why should I make the first move?

Why should I try with someone who does not love me anymore or who does not know what he wants?

You will have no problem showing your love towards me because you know I love you.

If you show me love I will show you love.

If you don't show me love, then I know my answer.

How long to do you except me to be mad enough to want you?
It's only because I love that I am just around you.

I just want you to let me know whether you want me to stay or go. 2007.


I am so hurt.

I sit back thinking about you everyday, wondering if you are faithful to me or not.

It's going to take a while until I can get my trust back in you.

I love you for you, which is everything about you.

What I don't like is your lies and changes of stories that you have told me.

I can never forget the way you cheated on me, you really did hurt me.

When you are drunk you scar me.

There are good and bad sides of you like in most of his but when your nice your really nice or your really nasty.

You can be very funny and make me laugh, handsome and romantic.

You are very romantic when you want to be. 2000 onwards.


My worse mistake.

I know I am such a mad fool.

For some reason I still love you.

Now that I am thirty I am frightened of not loving again.

May be now I am out of my twenties men have gone off me.

May be I am going to get less attractive the older I get.

Now I have left you I am not rushing into anything with anyone.

Being alone is better than being with a bad man like you.

You drink far too much on your tablets.

You go on and off with other woman behind my back.

You have tried to hit me when you have been drunk when no one was there.

For some reason I still love you but I can't put up with you. 9.1.2000


The way many men should their feelings.

Many men bottle their feelings up inside themselves.

They make out they don't get upset that easy but they really keep their hurt and pain to themselves.

The only time many men cope with pain is when they are hospital, this could be why men don't give birth.

The whole truth many men are big babies. 10.2.2000


I miss you forever more.

You were the best lover I ever had.

We were so long together but now so long apart.

You are always inside my heart.

Life has not been easy without you but by writing poetry helps me accept that we are apart.
I think about you everyday and dream about you every night.

I must be with you, no one else will do.

May be I will love again and get on with my life but may be I won't love anymore. 2000 onwards.


I love someone but I hate him too.

I hate him when he tells lies and makes me cry.

I don't know why I seem to love the men who treat bad.

I dropped him like a ton of bricks because I could not take anymore pain.

When he tells me he loves and cares about me, I think it's a lie.

Why does he hurt and upset me so much?

I wish he would have told me he's seeing another woman or other women.

I wish I could get this hurt and pain off my mind. 10.2.2000

Lucky.

I am thankful for everyday.

I know and accept that life can't be good all the time.

I am not saying I don't get angry and mad.

At the end of the day like everyone I have a life to live.

I am not alone, there are millions of people besides me who have problems.

There are worse people off than me, the grass is greener on the other side.

We must get on with life, the life the world is giving us the chance to have. 12.4.2000

What are you getting up to?

When you tell me you love me, do you tell me the truth or a lie?

Do you care about me or do you just want my company because you can't have her whoever she is?

If you don't love me, why don't you just good bye.

There are plenty more fish in the sea you know, you don't need to lie and cheat on me.

I feel sad, bitter and very hurt and I am not jealous of her whoever she is. ( Why should I be jealous of her?)
If you respect me just leave me free to get on with my life but don't leave me with all your lies!

If you have anything to say, why don't you tell me straight away rather than cheating behind my back?

I can tell by the way you have been acting, you have been treating me like a piece of dirt. 10.2.2000

To clear up what one has done wrong.

To talk about it and get off one's chest is one way of getting it out in the open.

To be caring about each others' feelings.

To make up it up in the way they want.

To tell the truth about what one has done wrong. 10.2.2000


Living with and without many men.

Without there would not be love then there would not be stress.

Without many men many women would be free but many would be lonely.

With many men there would give many women many tears.

With many men there would be many children.

Many little boys grow up like many men.

Many little girls grow up like many woman.

Without many men many woman would not be ironing.

On there are some good things woman can do without men but also good things many of us women can do with many men.

There are many bad things that happen to many women with many men but some good.

We must really that many women treat many men good and bad too. 10.2.2000.

We are lovers.

We are lovers to me there's no other.

I hope you feel the same way too.

The door may well be closed at the moment but it will be open in two weeks.

Believe me I am home.

I know it's hard.

I can't blame you for not trusting.

Once hurt, it's not easy to trust again.

Give yourself time to get to know me first.

Believe me, it's the truth I won't let you down.

I will close my eyes in the sun and I will not stop thinking about you. 26.5.2000


Keep hold of me, you won't get hurt anymore.

I don't worry about getting hurt by you.

You can trust me too, you won't hurt me anymore.

You are not trapped by me and I am not trapped by you.

You don't own me, I don't own you.

Both of us must be careful though. 26.5.2000

When I am alone with you.

When I am alone with you, I really feel as if I belong to you.

When I am on the phone to you, I feel as if I belong to you.

It's a lovely feeling to be held tight and kissed right through the night.

You are the only person who has ever made me feel just right.

When I don't see you every night seems very lonely but I enjoy it when I do.

I miss you all the while but when I see you it feels worth while. 26.5.2000


Now I am with you.

Now I am with you my whole life has changed for the better.

I can put my trust into you.

I should not have put trust in the others before you.

Even if you are mine, I am not trapped so let's take our time.

That does not mean I will hurt you because I won't.

It means that you can trust me not to go off with another man.

I'd love to feel your love and kisses right through the night.

I can't believe that this has happen to us, I miss you so much.

I understand that you don't get a lot of sleep as you work through the night.

Because I love you I can't accept that I don't see a lot of you.

I can only hope that there's hopes for you and me.

As long as we are together, it does not matter what we do. 4.8.2000.


Hello John

Hello John, I know you can hear me.

I keep knocking and calling your name out loud enough for you hear me.

Has anyone told you about me and your best mate James together.

Thank you Junior and Tracey.

Me and James got together after you left us.

I am able to thank you even though I can hear you response.

When I go to the pubs in the town at night, I know you will keep me safe from heaven.

I wish you were here to keep an eye on people hurting me while James is at work at night.

I am sure James can trust you to do that.

All the same you will still look down from heaven to earth to us all. 4.8.2000



Your not worth it.

You are just not worth it.

One day you will need help.

There will be no one around but your family.

How can you except me to help and wait around for when you left me for another woman?
I am not sad anymore I have a new life.

Sometimes I don't know if I want to be your friend or not.

What I do know is that you are going to end up a lonely person with sadness and wishing you had not left me like you did.

You will be very lucky if someone else puts up with you like I did.

If you are lucky enough to meet someone nice and new please don't let me down again by letting her down.
I am not sure I know you anymore. 25.6.2000



What has been missing?

You make me feel angry because you were not around to be my Father from the start of my life.

That's what's missing out of my life we can't change or go back because it's the past.

I know there are so many people in the world who are in the shoes as me if not worse but shame on a Father who has missed on his childrens' childhood.

As far as relationships go I find it far too easy to fall in love not that I am looking for a Father figure.

When relationships end I break down and I go to pieces.

It can take me a long time to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

It can take me a long to believe in myself that things will one day change for the better.

I am not as strong than I think I am.

I always think I never move on but I do.

If I was not writing poetry I would not cope with life like I do mainly when I go through bad times.

I know I have always had something missing out my life I don't what it is but whatever it is it's caused by you.

May be there is that person who will love me for me and make my life complete but I have not meet him yet but then again I may not.

He may or may not be out there. 4.7.2000


I am sure this love is for me.

I am sure this love is for me, the kindness one to be.

I will have to wait and see if it's to be.

I am sure he is the right man for me.

To me he's the best man I have ever known and seen.

He makes me feel happy and he makes me feel warm.

I can see that he loves and care about so much and I do about him too.

He loves me and protects me.

We listen to one another.

Our feelings are towards one another. 23.6.2000


Love.

Some people win the luck of love but others don't.

Most of us get pain and love others get pain and loneliness.

Who said life is perfect no one can except it to be?

How boring it would be if life was perfect.

Hearts get broke and you feel as if you have been stabbed with a knife.

Loneliness can also be a painful thing.

We must not thing too bad because it may happen to you.

No one enjoys pain : everyone goes through disappointment.

Everyone has to keep strong in life.

No one wants to weak : no wants to get hurt that's life One does not go without the other.

It has to be bad to be good. 20.11.2005

Not alone.

Why has it take me years to knew that I am not alone in this world?

Why has it take years to know you are the wrong man for me but I love you.

Why are we living in a slow thinking world.

I am sorry I was not aware that others stuffer broken hearts too.


It's a closed world for everyone where we feel as if we have to keep our thoughts to ourselves.

I was so wrapped up in my own world.

I was not really aware of the world around me.

I did not feel guilty about it until now.

I am so sorry that I did not see the world like other people do. 20.11.2005

Time to put it behind me.

I love you but I will forget them.

Now that I am with you after all these years, please keep me warm for Christmas.

Now I will love you without fear forever.

I know we have had plenty of ups and downs: plenty of ups and downs to come.

We must stop hurting one another.

My love for you is far too strong to walk away.

Now I can forget about the rest of the men who I thought loved me for me.

I have been with you far too long not to love you. 2005 to 2006


Just to be together.

Would it not be nice to see the moon and stars together just like you and me?

I'd love to sit by sea to watch the tide go in and out.

I'd love to watch the flowers grow in the garden every singe day.

I don't want to believe that there are witches mixing people in soup.

I want to believe the fairies are in the garden but they are not. 2005 - 2006.


I don't want much.

I don't want much, I just want you.

I just want your love.

I just want you to keep me warm.

I will give you space after Christmas time.

I just want to beside you.

I want to be with you when you want me. 20.11.2005


Anything you do does not surprise me.

I have had to get used to the way you have always been all these years.

Nothing seems to be new about you but still you can't change a man so I am not going to change me either.

I don't think you have ever known what you wanted in all the years I have known you.
You don't know whether you want to be lovers, friends or what.

I just need to achieve what I need to do in life like leaving you, which I am not strong enough yet.

It's no good staying with a man who does not know whether he loves me or not.

I am now a woman getting towards 40, I am too old for your silly games and my career is coming along at last.

The young school girl went over twenty years ago, I have achieved more through adult life and school was no help at all.

How wrong was I to think I would not get by in life.

If only I knew then what I know now.

My career is my writing, which is getting.
By the way make up your mind whether you want to be my friend or lover again! 13.1.2009

The truth hurts.

Sleeping on the streets rough is no joke, there's nothing to do.

It's no joke when your asking for money and a smoke.

With this credit crunch money wise everyone is in the same boat.

Nothing to eat feeling very weak.

The days and nights are long and boring.


No one knows what the future holds, it does not seem to be getting any better.

Many children in care, most of them are not with their families.

There's so much terror in the world in each and every way: each and every day.

The world needs peace and love.

It's a sad fact that so many people young die through a lack of food due to a lack of money through the credit crunch and war.


How much more pain can the world take until it breaks?

They are so brave to stand the strain.

How can we heel their wounds when they cannot heel them on their own?

Having to cope with little money is war on it's own. 2009

I don't give up on life because it's hard.

Love has killed me inside but I am still here.

Look what you may have done to me but I am strong!

Ribbed my insides out with pain.

You have made it hard for me to move on but I have left you anyway.

One day you will be sorry because there's no going back, I have forgiven you far too much in the past.
It's too late for you now, I can't take no more. 12.6.2009

I am here for you part two.

My feelings are mixed up with happiness and sadness.

I also feel a lot of guilt inside me wishing I had not let things go too far.

The kind of feeling that is hard to control is love.

I understand that times are hard for us both at the moment one way or the other.

I just hope we are here for one another, I'm here for you I won't be very far.
I am here for you any time you want me to.

No matter how long it takes I will be there for you.

I am here as long and short as you want me to be.

You said you can't see the light at the end of the tunnel.

I can't say I will be great help but I will be here for you anyway. 12.6.2009


I have a long way to go but I will get there.

Here we go again but never will you put me through it.

The first time you hurt me, I never wanted to love again.

I thought there was not a light at the end of the tunnel, I was wrong.

There's no going back this time, you don't know what you want so it's too late if you do.

I don't think you ever do or did know what you want.
I have been up this road with you far too many times before, there's no reason for me to be there anymore.

I have hung around where I am not wanted for far too long.

I never thought I'd see the day I'd get used to you messing me around but I see why I have to face it anymore.

Now it's taught me to believe in myself and that I get my life back together again.

I can't say who I will love in future but it won't be you. 12.6.2009.

You confuse me.

I left you because you did not know how to feel about me.

I also left you because I had to stop feeling you as you did, you were hurting me too much.

You have completely confused me and used me.

I need to get over you, which is not easy to do.

You won't stop me loving again but it won't be you.

You won't beat me forever, I am too strong for you. 12.6.2009


Life goes on without you.

It may well be still dark in here but I believe on I am on my way to the light, one day I will get there.

I will find happiness in some way one day.

Life goes on without you.

Your not the only man in the world.

How foolish was I to chose you.

I have no shameto hide from the world but shame on you.

You have bought all this pain and loss yourself.

Say hello to loneliness.

I will get through without you somehow.

I can think more clearer without wondering where you are like I used to.

I know what I want more in life than you do.


Some people blame you for us but others blame me for us.

Silly me, I keep forgetting there's no us oh that's good.

A lot of people have asked about you but I am fed up with.

At the same time they think I should get on with my life as I doing.


I have not cried a tear over you this time but I haven't felt sadness.
I can live without your love. 13.6.2009

Open a new door.

Days are early and nights are young.

Pain is still but it will pass.

I'm very willing to move on.

You feel the same too.

We don't want to put our pain on one another but still willing to get to know one another.

We must not give one another our grief we have had from others. 14.6.2009

I miss you badly.

I am missing you badly but I am looking forward to the day I do.

My mind is all over the place bet ween happy and sad but I will get through.

It's wise of you to say that we need to get to know one another first.

Let's not rush into things.

The past takes far too long to get over.

I only wish I could cry but I can't.

At least when I cry it will get out my system.

May be it's best to write poetry to clear my mind instead.

Cause I like you a lot, I know I was unsure at first, change is a new thing.
I will look forward to a new slow start.


I find it hard to eat and sleep.

I can't stop thinking about you.

I understand that I am not on my own, you have a past to get over too.

This is why it's wise not to rush into things.14.6.2009


Whatever life throws at me.

I must be strong!

I must be brave!

I must be calm!

Heart breaks happen to us all.

Sara fall down and get back up again!

For the first time in your life, don't be weak! 12.7.2009

Feelings.

I still love you with all my heart.

When you left me life became rather hard.

It seems as if my loving feelings for you are there for a life time.

However you feel for me, how I feel for you stays.

You are my best caring male friend.

I mean every word I say.

I still care and worry about you a lot.

Please don't think about saying a lot.

I don't want to come bet ween happiness now, it's not just about what I want is it?
I must carry to accept whatever the future holds.

I must be happy with the life I have got.

Deep down the memories of you are not forgotten. 26.2.2000


Love's young dream.

I will kiss you until we get together.

It's time to have time apart.

We will miss one another when we leave.

When I see you again I will be happy again. Late 20th - Early 21st century.


Hoping to move on.

>Hope is a wishful thinking word.

Thinking can be very hard to do these days.

No jobs and no college courses until September.

It seems ages now wait for exam results but it won't be long now I hope.

Why do people go from education when jobs are so hard to find?

Where's the light at the end of the tunnel?

There just does not seem to be any spaces for any jobs mainly with a lot of companies closing down. Late 20th century onwards.


Your history.

You cheated on me.

You lied to me.

I finished with you because I would not put up with you for the rest of my life.

I need one big help to get over you.

It just takes pen and paper to get my anger and pain out then we are through.

I don't need to lay, your not worth it, it's true. Late 20th century onwards.

Sorry I am here.

I am sorry I am here.

I am sorry I was born.

Sorry for the grief I have caused the world.

I did not mean to cause hard work to you all.

Do I have any good in me at all?

I am a human being I make mistakes just all of you.

I am a disabled person society seems to put me down for making mistakes all the time.

Life does not seem to be worth living or dieing if it's like that.

If that's the case why are we here? Late 20th century onwards.


There's only so low you can go.

We all accept that life can't be good to us all the time.

We know that there's no need to break down at the most little things.

There's only so low you can go.

Running and hiding is not going to change a thing but grief is another thing.

There's more than one person who has to cope with sadness, anger and pain.

It's more how we react to whatever we are going through. Late 20th century onwards.


You find it hard to believe.

You find it to believe that I still love you.

If I don't love you what am I still doing in your life?

You are still the love of my life.

If anyone loves you so much it's me.

Who will love you as long as I have done?

Who knows what the future brings?

If our love does not last a life time I may not love again.Late 20th century onwards.


Let's have a quiet night!

Let's stop in together, your place or mine?

Let's not see a sole.

Let's enjoy love and passion in our own way!

Sooner or later the dark nights are drawing in.

Put the heating on as both of us hug together.

Why not warm up like toast until we roast.

Today we have lost our old fashioned ways with the coal and electric fires doing home made toast on the forks on the fires. Late 20th century onwards.


Summer.


>Good night sleep tight.

Too hot to sleep so count sheep.

If you can sleep please dream of me.

Tomorrow the sun will rise from the rain to make a rainbow.

Red sky at night shepherd's delight.

Good brave people lose their lives to keep us alive.

Too much war but hardy any peace in the world today. Late 20th century onwards.


I find it hard to show my love.

It's so hard to show love to one another every night of the week.

I know we spend too much time together.

I keep thinking to myself I must walk the streets alone but I never do it.

I do it to be strong to be without you.

I will have a mobile phone in case you want me at any point. 2001 - 2009


Thinking about you.

Here I am thinking about you, after twelve years together.

Ok, we slit up for four of those years but you were the still the one I loved.

Alright I met someone else so did you.

I know I don't show you how I feel but I am waiting for you to make the first move for love. 2001 onwards.


Relationships part two.


When we think of the word relationships we think of lovers.

Relationships are a way of getting knowing one another.

You have relationships with your family and friends but not in the same way as your lovers.

Friends are people who you saw in school, work, college out in the pub and etc.

Families who have raised you since birth. Late 20th century onwards.


Blank.

Do you go blank at a point you can't think?

Your in a writing mood but you don't what to write.

When you are sitting at home for a long time, does your head in.

You either think too much or not at all.

Sitting in the house on a hot summer's day is a waste of life.

Take a walk to the library out in the fresh air.

Get some ideas together from different books. Late 20th century onwards.


Goodness knows why.

Goodness knows why I love you, called me mad but I do.

I would lie if I told you I did not love you.

You know you can be romantic if you want to.

You make me happy.

You make me sad.

You make me laugh.

You make me cry.

That's what love is goodness why.

All the time your always on my mind.

I can't help who I fall in love with.

That person happens to be you.

I can't believe I still feel the same about you after all these years. Late 20th century onwards.


Time to put things right.

Don't think I will put the blame on you forever.

You told me it was the most silly mistake you ever made.

When you left me for her I thought I was having a long nightmare.

You also told me that I drove you away, I am so sorry I was not aware that was the case.

We hurt one another really badly, I think it's time to put it behind and start again.

Let's try to enjoy our lives together and put the past behind us.

Life is full of bad and good. 2001 onwards.


Why do I love you.

I love your smile and laugh.

You cheer me up and make me laugh.

You then make me sad and mad.

I love you when you get close to me.

You can make me feel calm when I get fed up of this society.

I love you for what you give me in life.

I love you for your love and kisses.

I am here for you if you want me too.

Like everyone we get our good and bad times. Late 20th century onwards

Forgotten.

I have a memory but I have forgotten.

It does not seem to make sense.

What is your name?

I forgot, don't tell me.

I don't want to remember.

What did you look like?

It does not matter I think I may have had a nightmare.

Did you kiss me as my month poured with blood?

So what, why did I ask that question?

Were we in love?

No it was just a big mistake.

Last I heard of you, you were married.

You ask me to marry you, I told you no but good luck to her.

It was only a dream that we were close.

I can never even remembered the music you listened to.

It was only a nightmare that I woke up in tears to.

I have forgotten so much I am so glad you went off with her. 2000


The love of my life.

I know we need some time apart, I am trying to sort things out so I can give you some space.

The last thing I want is to lose you again.

I want to be able to miss you so I can put my arms around you when I do see you.

I want to be able to earn a bit more money in my pocket so I can give you space but finding work is hard.

College is off for the summer until September.

May be I am still living in those old fashioned ways waiting to see how the man I love feels about me.

I wonder if we will still love one another in twenty years time.

Will you still be mine? 2001 onwards.

It has not been easy.

Even though we slit up and fall out so often we love one another.

So many times I have cried over you.

We have so many wishes not hurting one another like we have done.

The loving nights we have had all these years together.

Why can't we bring them back.

You may not think so but my love gets strong all the time for you.

How we manage to love and hurt one another I don't know. 2001 onwards.


What does valentines day mean to me?

When it rains there's no love for me.

When sun is out I feel as if love is about.

When there is rain then there is sun love is on then it is off.

This is how feel on valentines day. Late 20th century onwards.


I wish I had not.

Why do I say things that I don't mean?

How much I wish I had not said what I said to you last night.

Why did I say I wanted a man to treat me bad?

May be there's no looking back on what I say to you.

I will be lucky if you forgive me.

I don't blame you if you tell me it's too late.

I should have shown my love for you.

I'm very lucky if I can show how I feel about you. Late 20th century onwards.


The next day.

I can't remember whether I drank or not.

I must have said a lot of bad things to you last night, I'm so sorry about that.

I wish last night had not have happened but it did.

I wish we could stop hurting one another so much as we love one another so much.

I never know or not whether you are in the mood for love.

I am frightened in case you feel I am doing what you don't want.

Whatever mood your in, I know your tired when you finish work. 2001 onwards.

Sometimes it's hard to forgive.

Even when you love someone it can be hard to forgive.

It can even be hard to not to forgive.

Sometimes it can be hard to love a person again.

Some people forgive others don't.

Some people feel love for others, others don't.

Now I just have a set friends which is good. 2001 onwards.

I forgive you.

I forgive you what you did to me years ago.

Goodness knows why I do!

I forgive you because I love you.

May be I have forgiven but I have not forgotten.

May be I was partly to blame too, I may have driven you away.

I am trying hard to change so are you. 2001 onwards.


Never fall in love.


Never fall in love, once you get into love it's hard to get out of it's like a drug.

Love can also be hard to want to get out of.

I have loved so many times, you'd think I'd understand it but I don't.

When I was younger I thought I understood love: I thought I knew all but I did not.

Happiness starts then sadness ends until you love the same person again or someone new.

Love is a never ending story, the same feelings but different reasons for those feelings.

Very few people last forever.

Relationship break ups can cause depression and even loneliness.

Once that depression kicks it's hard to beat it.

Love is a strange that we can't live with or without. Late 20th century onwards.


I love poetry.

I love poetry it helps me get things out of my head.

I tend to feel a bit bad because poetry is not a lot of people's cup of tea, well it's poetree.

It's hard to keep people interested because you can't help what goes on inside your head.

Poetry is my way of saying I feel good and bad about things.

I love you poetry you help me get by but bet ween do we interest our readers? Late 20th century onwards.


My writing helps my relationship.

My writing helps my relationship, gives me time to think alone.

All it takes is putting pen to paper and typing it on computer.

I write about more than just relationships.

I need a little job to earn enough money to save up for publishers. Late 20th century onwards.

My only love.

You may think I don't love you but your wrong.

You know how I feel about you as well as I do.

I have known twelve years too long to not love you.

What am I doing in your life if I don't love you?

Why do you let me in if you don't love me?

We are both pains in the backside in our own ways.

There are times when we get one another down but no one's eyes compares with yours.

If I could put more into this relationship I would.

There's so many things I find hard to explain. 2005 to 2006.


Why do we complain?

No money and no job.

To make more friends.

Never mind who knows what the future brings?

Why do we complain?

When we could have been born into a world of no food on the table and no education.

We could have been born into dirty places in many cases no places at all.

Rubbish left in bins.

Everyone has to live life we can't always avoid it no matter what happens.Late 20th century onwards.


You are worth my while?


I have spent so many nights and days missing you and thinking about you but you are worth my while.
I can't help but liking you in a special way?
You have been there for me when times are hard time, they still are, I thank you so much even though you situations are hard.
I have accepted your hard situation from the start.
May be it's hard for you to believe in me because of what you have been through with other women.
If you let me I will carrying on taking the situation on board, no matter what the situation is
I know how you feel I have been there before with men, trusting is a very hard thing.

I know you like me in a special way too.


This is a private poem to say what's going through my mind.
I know special bonds can fail but I am with you as long as you want me.
You paid interest in me, I wasn't sure at first.
It was a shock to know that someone was interested in me at that early stage of me having hard time with ex partner.
It took me a week or two to know that I am interested you after all.
I was in a bad state of mind at time, which I am still going through a hard time with my ex partner, I don't need anymore stress. 29.6.10


It came when I wasn't looking?

I wouldn't have known any different if you hadn't have told me you felt this way towards me.
If I had liked you in a special way the same as I do without you telling me, I would have took it that you didn't feel the same way, then I would have moved on.
I wouldn't have told you if you hadn't of told me.
Was I dreaming, I'm sorry if I was dreaming.


I have taken everything there is to take on board.
I will go on taking the situation on board if you will let me.
I wouldn't go along with it if I wasn't keen on you.
I wouldn't say things I don't mean if I wasn't keen.
I don't lie, mess about or change my mind and I stick to my word.
I don't string men along.
I understand trust is hard for you so it is for me.
I'm not perfect is anyone? No!

I've done my best to not give you any stress so I will carrying on trying to be the same.
I understand that nothing lasts forever but I'm here as long as you want me.
If you ever love someone else, I know you will tell me.
I will move on if I have to.
I know you won't leave me in the dark wondering what's going if you have anything to tell me.
I have trusted you with all my heart from the start, I will carry on doing so if you let me.
29.6.10


It needs to be time to go now.

It seems to be a good time to go now.
You told me last night my friendship and support isn't enough so there's no point me coming down.
Let's see if you strong enough?
Who cares if you not, you've only made life hard for yourself.
What goes around comes around.
You won't know who you have lost until you have lost me.
I can't through anymore with you and I don't have loving feelings for you anymore.
If you don't understand that I will have to go, you blew it yourself.
I have tried to be your friend but you want more out of that I haven't got the feelings to give anymore.
Us rowing like this isn't fair on your Mum.
You always get like this when you have too much to drink.
Your such hard work whether your drunk or not.
You row with everyone. 4th July 2010


I'm getting away from you.

I've had enough, I'm getting away from you.
I think I have just woke up from a long nightmare.
The shock will come to you one day soon enough.
The lonely and lost change will come to you.
I understand what you are going through but you have only made things worse for yourself.
Why should I feel guilty and bad about leaving you like you hurt me three years ago and many times before that.

I have made too many chances, no more, what do you think about that.
I have taken you back so many times because I loved, I tried been your friend but you have now made me hate you.
After you upset me last night I don't even want to see you no more.
I'm taking no more.
You never loved me when I loved you, now you lie to me saying you love me now I don't love you.
May be things have turned round, I'm not going to change back to the soft person I was before.
You won't walk over me like a door mat anymore.
You have blew it all, soon I will be out the door.

You shouldn't play silly games.
You will never change you will always be the same.
I have put up with your silly games for too many years, no more.
We can't go on forever like this at least I can't. July 4th 2010

Some or all poems at all different times.

My early piece of work. These poems were written at different times in my life, which started with words coming out of my mind of how I was feeling those different times. A lot of the time, my mind was all over the place. A lot of these thoughts I don't have anymore.

Joyful happy love.
I hope forever love.

We went everywhere together.

We should have loved forever.

I don't think he will now love me never.

Joy and peace for life.

Without one another my happiness has end so it will never mend.

To be lonely is not me.

To love one another even through sadness and shame.

I will love someone one day for the birds to sing in the sky in the spring.

I should be able to hear the voice of love right over hear.

Sing out about love clear!
1998.

I must say sorry to how my mind was working back then. This was a time I thought love would forever.

Heart of gold.

A heart of gold is a heart of love.

To be a good woman and good man.

To show your love to one another in the best possible way until you dieing day.

Eternal love did not last at all.

Eternal love towards engagement and marriage forever more. 1989.

Words.

Words that go through your mind.

Words could mean anything at all.

When I am a long words go through my head.

Some words can't wait to be said so they have to be written.

Sometimes words don't want to be said.

Some words can be frightened to be said. Mid 20th century to 21st century.

I am finding it hard to come to terms that you have gone to heaven.

I wish you peace in heaven because you did not have any peace on earth.

You were and always be a very special Grandmother to me.

It has not been the same since you have gone but life goes on.

I know you would not want us to live in sadness but in happiness.

My future is my career, love and friendship to be.

It does not mean think that the family does not think about but we understand now you want peace from the pain you had. 25.8.2007


To my lovely Nan.

It was such a delight to have you around in my life.

The first memory I can remember of been with you, was when you took me to the caravan in Wales.

Uncle David only drove as far as the Victoria hotel in Wolverhampton, I asked.
" Are we nearly there?"

I am so sorry that I was such hard work for you.

Thank you for looking after me.

Even now I feel as if you are still looking after me.

I will treasure you and the memories I had with you with love.

You have always been and always will be a very special Nan.

Why do I have to let you know how I feel when it's too late?

You never know who and what you have lost until you have lost them or it.

You are my special Nan because you were there from when I was born.

It was hard to believe that one day you would have to say good bye, now that you have I miss you everyday.
You were more than special, you were bright.

It's hard to believe that this is the first Christmas and your first birthday that I won't be seeing you. 25.8.2007

I hope your pain has gone.

I hope your pain has gone now Nan.

I hope heaven is more peaceful for you than earth was.

All your friends and family have very special thoughts for you.


We all miss you here on earth.

Life is not the same without you Nan.

Nothing more has made me feel sad other than knowing that I miss you not being here.

I will never forget you but it's time to move on because I know I will never see you here like I used to.
As much as I miss you, I hope your pain has gone. 25.8.2007

People say I look young.

People say I look young, if I do Nan it's all down to you.

A majority of people say I look like you.

If I do look like you, I am the happiest woman in the world Nan.

You have always been the best Nan in the world and always will.25.8.2007

No one kinder than Nan.

There is no one kinder than you, Nan.

I am so lucky to have such a lovely Nan.

Now that you are at peace, there are no words to explain how much I miss you.

Thank you for giving me the most happiest times of all. 25.8.2007.

Everything will be a crime.

The way the world is going now, everything do and say will be a crime.

Even picking ones' nose will be a crime, it may be a bad thing but it should not be a crime.

Once a upon a time, yes we had rules but we also had a three country.

Now it's just non - stop rules in the country.

Now there does not seem to be any freedom in the country.

The government cuts like a knife.

This sick government is killing us all.

No wonder people like Jim Hendrix's killed himself.

Life was bad enough then but worse now. 1997 to 2009

Why don't you come down to mine often?

You don't come down to mine in the pouring rain.

Come down when the sun starts to shine!

Why not make a night in my private home?

You can sleep and dream until the morning light. 2001 to 2007.


Looking forward not back.

I must look forward not back.

I must not hang around looking at the past.

I must stand on my feet not where I am not wanted.

I should be just fine to look after my new lover and friend in a friendship and hopefully relationship that will never end. 1997 -2000


I'm frightened to love but frightened of losing love.

I am so frightened to love again.

I have had so many guys that have messed up my head.

I will be brave one day to love again, your the only man that makes me feel love again.

I have always had hope at the back of my mind that you will mine.

I can't help the way I feel about you, I think I am falling towards you.

Please don't play on the way I feel about you because I have had too guys who have done that before.

Please don't treat me like a bouncing ball because I am human like you!

I know I am not wonder woman but I will do anything I can for you.

Can we please slow this relationship down?

We have only known one another five minutes.
With any luck we might make it. 1997 - 2000


I wish love was forever.

I wish love was forever on earth and in heaven.

I was so wrong to think love is forever.

I was so wrong to wish love is forever.

I must be strong enough to accept that love is not forever. 1997


Will you stay with me?

Will you stay with me, then everything is mine and yours to share?

Please stay with me, I love you more than just a true friend!

All my life I have been going round in circles.

Men have driven me round the bend.

I need someone to stay with me until the end.

Please don't cheat on me like many of the others, I have had enough!

He was such a loser going off with another woman.

He's off his head, what earth does he see in her?

Please don't rush into a relationship with me?

So many men have played with my feelings. 1997 - 2000


My worries are over.

My worries are over!

What am I thinking about?

I am now with you, only you I have to think about.

Stress from my ex lovers I have got my anger out.

No more talking about my ex lovers.

Just say hello and good bye when they walk passed.

I will close the door on bad rubbish.

I have no worries no more. 22.8.2000


The way of love.

You can change your mind as many times as you change your socks.

You have given me so much love yet so much hate.

It would nice to have someone who loves me for me, not someone who messes my head with dirt and rubbish.

Now I should move on and see what's round the condor from me. 1997

Love has been blind.

Love has been blind too many times.

Many times for me, love has been thrown in the bin.

I thought you were the man of dreams.

You don't love me as I thought you did.

I thought I was lucky enough to have a love like you but I was so wrong. 1997


Shep.

Old Shep was a Rough Colly dog brought for my sister Holly Wood.

Shep was a very good pet dog.

He was a lot older than the Rough Colly we had before, his name was Baz.

Baz was just a baby, we needed to calm him down. 2000 onwards.


I can't help the way that I feel.

I am so sorry but I can't help the way that I feel about you.

I am sorry that I don't how you feel, I wish you could make up your mind what you want in life.

I am sorry I don't show my love for you but you don't show your love to me.

I am sorry about getting upset so easy, you hurt me so I hurt you.

Most of all of I am ashamed to be in love with you.

May be it would be better to finish after, it sounds as if that's what you want. 2007



Where are you going Nan?

I hope you are going to a peaceful place Nan.

You may even see the Fairlie's.

I remember Uncle Chris telling me that great Gran had gone to live with Jesus when I was little, I really believed that Jesus' house was on earth.

I remember wondering why no one would take me to see great gran.

As the years had gone by, I learned that she had gone for life.

Now life is too short to waist but it will be too long to be without you. 2007

Life.

Life can be full of beauty and love.

We must live for the stars above.

Flowers, romance and love.

The night can be dark but the day can be, that is the ups and downs of love.

Here comes the morning light when things are going good.

Here is the dark nights when things go bad.

We see beauty of flowers by the sunlight.

The love of a bright red rose that becomes far too close.

To forget lost love forever more is not always easy to do.

The law of love and beauty.

Now I won't love again as I can't love you. 1997.


Happiest is what we want.

To want happiest is to get happiest.

Happiest starts to want inside your mind.

When happiest comes it does not always last, make the most of that.

Sadness does not last either.

There are so many changes in life from happy to sad. 1997.


Poems for the year 1998.

In 1998 to love with faith.

To started a career after love falling into a garden gate.

To love someone who loves me for me.

To make more friends.

To move on.

To enjoy life and stay forever young.

To be strong to ups and downs. 1997 - 1998.



Up to date poem.

Mobile phones

Text messages

Missed calls

Computers

Download

Save to disc

and so the list goes on.

This is what you call 21st century English.

This is the way it must be, goodness knows in future centuries what we won't see. 2007.


May be we are strange.

May be we are strange people living in a strange country, full stop.

We can't help the way we are or can we?

We have very strange weather, rain and shine in five minutes time.

We are the weather that can't make up it's mind.

Now you can't make up your mind.

May be I am as bad, what are we like?

STRANGE!

That does me to say that I am confused only because you are but you are confusing me. 2007.


Lucy.

Lucy had her kittens under the kitchen table.

What a black and white fluffy family.

They all had lovely fur. 2007.


Baz.

I remember Rough Colly Baz.

He was a wild running lad.

I used to run along the garden with him so fast.2007

Letty.

I use to have a black cat named Letty but she had white under her chin.

Her eyes were dark green.

I don't seem to have a memory of her attacking me, she must have been a very calm pus for a young child to play with.

I feel so guilty, I must have pulled her tail not understanding that I might have hurt her. 2007


Stay forever young.

Never let anything worry you.

Everything will come into place.

Let others help you!

Never let people put on you.

Climb the ladder step by step.

You will get were you want to get in the end.

Everyone will have a true friend in you.

Keep you hands and feet busy.

You will stay forever young and complete. 22.8.2000


I hate it when the clocks stop.

I hate it when the clocks have to stop but they can't go on forever.

I never know how long it is waiting for the bus.

I never whether I have missed the bus.

May be I have not got there right on time.

What if I have an appointment, will I be late for that?

Well thank goodness for batteries but not the clocks going forward and back.

I will worry about the right time when it come. 2007


Hot Summer.


I do not mind the hot sunny days but not when it gets too hot.

If the weather is too hot it does not agree with me.

It's not easy to fall a sleep in the hot weather but it can be too easy to fall a sleep in the sun.

Don't forget the sun cream!

Let's protect ourselves from getting burn but let's go lovely and brown!

Let's cool down with drinking water and on our bodies!

I hate the insects that bit us in the day and night, they fly round in doors by the food.

It's causes such nasty germs.

It's nice to eat outside in the summer but not when the insects are around.
2007


Spring is here never fear.

Today spring is not spring like summer is not summer.

We have four seasons in one day Britain.

It's been a good many years since we used to get the straight seasons we used to get.

The good thing about the spring that the birds sings and lay their eggs.

The lambs are born to jump around.

Everyone seems happy on warm spring days, which is very rare today.

I love frogs that jump around in the rain. 2007

The four seasons.

Spring

Summer

Autumn

And

Winter.

One

Whole

Year
Of

Days

And

Nights.2007


We should show love for one another.

It's not very often we show love for one another.

When love happens it really happens.

These days our love is so rare, I wonder if anything is anymore there.

If you don't love me anymore, please just say!

There's plenty fish in the sea I am sure.

If you still love me then let me know and show me more otherwise I will be out the door.

I'm a woman, I am frightened of making a fool of myself in case you don't have the same feelings as I do.

If you have stopped loving me, then I should be ashamed of feeling the way I do towards you.
I have no control of how I feel towards you.

I'm just so sorry that I can't do the right thing.

I find it hard to let go of you after all those years been on and off with you. 2007


The text message.

Why am I hoping that everything is alright between us when it's not?

Why am I bothering with you?

Why don't you like me, saying I love you in a text message?

Why do you act strange are you up to something?

Why are you sending and getting texts every five minutes?

Why do I feel this way about you?

Why can't I just walk out on you what you are putting me through?

Do you want me to feel this way about you?

All I know is that I am so foolish still being in love with you.

I don't know why I love you but I do.

Don't you love me anymore?

Just tell me if you don't love me anymore!

Don't mess me around in and out of a text message!

It most likely cost too much to say you love me in a text but you send enough texts out and get many back in a short amount of time.

Oh I am sorry I have said the wrong thing yet again.

There's no pleasing in you, is there?

You know I love you so much, them you play on it.

I have a good mine to send this poem to you in a text but I don't want to encourage us to fall out again.

Sometimes you can be such hard work but as mad as it sounds I still love you. September 2007 - May 2009


What will be will be.

Don't ask or hope for anything.

Just stay put.

Don't think about what to do or what not to do.

What happens happens.

Come on you have known him long enough.

Don't be surprised or shocked about anything or anybody.

Why don't you get out before it's too late?

Long love is too much of a drug.

Why stay where you are if you are not loved and wanted?

It's not easy to be strong enough when you have been there too long.

Come on you must be strong. September 2007 - May 2009


We parted over a misunderstanding.

You must have known how I felt that cold Saturday September evening, when my family dug my Nans ashes to the ground.

Thank you very much for your support, you dumped me and I thought you loved me but I was wrong.

You must have known I was not thinking straight when I said what I said.

You must have know I did not mean what I said.

I know you will never forgive me for what I said.

You must have known that I did not mean to hurt you when I was upset myself.

You must have known very well that I still love you.

In your eyes there's no going back on what I said it's too late for everything.

What not look forward rather than going back, start a fresh.

Why do you have to be so sad?

Like I said to you I must accept what you want, it should not come as any shock or surprise to me. September 2007 - May 2009


May be we can take it slow.


I weep so much when I don't see you, I feel so low what you put me.

I am upset over my regret, I should not have said what I said otherwise we would have been still together.

It's no good me building my hope about anything or anyone.

If you are willing to take it slow who knows what the future brings?

Don't hang me on a piece of string!

I feel so much anger inside as if someone has put a knife through me, I wish you would not do this to me! September 2007 - May 2009

No change.


I hate the cold winter time of the year, sleet, hale, snow and rain.

Christmas season costing too much again. 2007


On a Autumn's day.

I remember the leaves all over the floor as you opened the door.

You would walk through the leaves as you when to school.

I remember feeling the leaves under my feet as they touched the ground.

The trees blew in the wind from side to side as the leaves hit the ground. 2007

How did we get here?

Was living in this unkind life meant to be?

The way the world is going, is it worth the world carrying standing?

Society is so wrong to introduce crime to the world.

We all know that there is not any perfect world but it's getting worse.

The way it's going, people won't be able to enjoy life. 2000 - 2003


Freedom.

Today freedom is not a word that is promised.

Everyone understands Britain's rule's are over the top.

At one time people were free in Britain but not anymore.

Now we hear about too much killing and shooting on the news.

That's not what you call freedom.

Let's face it folks there's no freedom to be.

It makes us wonder why we are here at all.

There no answer to why we are here and why there is a world. 2003 onwards


New year 2003 - 2004.

Thank god Christmas is over, it costs too much for one day.

Another year to look forward to.

What's going on is anyone's guess.

I hope this a year for all of us.

I hope there will be peace not war for Iraqi.

Life will be easy and hard for us all as always.

Life does not stay the same otherwise it would be boring.

The hardest part is spending too much money for Christmas.

Trying to build money back up again is hard. 31,12.2oo3


Reasons why I wrote poems.

To let you know how much I love you.

To let you know how much I miss you.

To let you know how much I think about you.

To let you know how much more I'd like to see of you.

To let you know how lovely it is to hear your voice on the telephone.

To let you know that I understand your life style.

To let you know that I am not trying to make life hard for you.

I love you, I would never say a bad word about you. 2000 - 2001


Poems of love.

When you fall in, it's like a bright red rose.

When love ends, the petal of the flower dies and falls off everyday.

You move on to make a fresh start.

One kiss brings love back to life.

Yet again love becomes alive.

Is anyone right for anyone?

It's not very often love lasts forever these days.

Not many have been as lucky as us. 30.12.2003.


I think I have failed your love.

Why did I let you go?

I know there's no looking back.

There's no way of going back.

May be I thought it would not work out bet ween us.

I had no reason to have done what I did.

I don't know what got over me.

May be I thought I stopped loving you.

The truth is that I still do love you but what's bad on my part that I love someone else too.

I must make up my mind what I want in life.

I know it's so wrong, I am so sorry I have the same feelings for two of you.

I am stuck bet ween the two of you, I just don't know what to do.

I don't want to hurt either of you but I can't help the way I feel about you both.

I must make up my mind sooner than later.

It's no one's fault but my own. 29.12.2003


The memory of love.

The memory of love gives me happiest and joy.

The loneliness of your love gives me sadness and sorrow.

When you kissed me it was such a joy.

Your passion was like a sudden dream that seemed never ending.

Now your not with me anymore, I must have had a nightmare.1997


When I look out of my window.

I see the sky going from dull to bright.

I see the sky so dark it turns into a storm.

What strange weather we Brits have.

I don't know if I am right or wrong but I am still living in this old fashioned world.

I still need to get used to the new world. 2007


Am I just in your life for company?

You know that I love you.

Do you love me?

Why don't you show me that you love me if you do?

Why are you over me when your drunk?

Do you still love someone from your past or do you love someone new?

Have I lost it all I had in my twenties?

May be I am becoming boring as I am getting towards forty.

I must have lost it in myself.

May be I don't attract you anymore. 2007 to 2009


It all changes.

The figure has now gone.

Lines are now under my eyes.

I am not as fit as I used to be.

I don't feel good, I feel like a wreck.

Only positive thing is my education and work.

I am trying everything I can to make a difference to the lives of people with disabilities.

Don't you know how much I love you?

I know you broke my heart but I forgive you.

It may seem as love is not the same as it used to be 2007 - 2009



Love has been blind all my life.

You may have been heard of but you won't be found.

You had the chance to carry on loving me.

It's now far too late if you want to love me again.

I have took my freedom to love someone better than you.

Now that I have flown my wings I hope this love will be right for me but plenty more fish in the sea if not.

You can huff and puff as much as you like but you won't blow my house down.

I missed you when you had gone but not anymore, I have moved on. 1996 to 1997.


Long time love.

Me and you will now be without one another.

Three years ago we fell apart.

No other man could have been for me but you, how wrong was I to think so?

Your smiles when his face goes red.

Your laughs like the bright yellow sun.

Your brown eyes gives me so much surprise.

What you don't see to begin with you don't know.

After a time you find out that love is blind.

You did not turn out to be the man I was hoping for.

You hurt me so much.

I still love you but you'd hurt me again if I go back to you.

I don't know why I love you so much.

I only wish I knew why I do. 27.5.99


A friend in need is a friend indeed.

If you are help a friend, they should help you in return.

If a friend helps you in return, which you are a friend in need.

To one another you are both friends indeed.

For helping one another as true friends indeed. 20.8.99


Loving friendship.

A friendships can be loving.

You can still have loving thoughts without been lovers.

Yo can just go with the flow.

Except the excepted and the unexpected.

What will be will be.

If it's not to be it won't be.

Keep in touch with one another but don't make plans about the future.

See each other when you see each other.

Keep your loving friend like that it has more chance of lasting.

A loving friendship may well help you forget the past.

A loving friendship may or may not help you love one day more than just good friends.

Just friendship does not mean that they don't love.

Having a the opposite who is a true friends to you.

He or she will take care of you.

He or she will share with you.

He or she will talk to you.

He or she will be fair to you.

In return you must do the same for them too. 20.8.99


I don't have to be in love with you to love you.

I don't have to love you because you are a man.

I can love you as a friend.

You don't have to to love me because I am a woman.

You can love me as a friend.

What don't you accept that?

I may well still love you but as a friend.

I am trying not to love you too strong.

You were my longest lover ever, why is it too hard for me to accept it?

For you I know I must accept that you don't love me. 27.5.99


Dear Readers

Note from the poet.

I have spent about 13 years writing poetry. Here are the poems I have written over the years. Some things I find hard to say in voice to the outside world. Sometimes it's hard to put down on what's going through one's mind. I do my best to say what I mean, if you know what I mean.
Like us all there has been times than I have found life hard. My mind is not always meant to be like it should. With me having a writer's block there are also times that I can say too much. We all have good and bad times in life so this my time to explain the good and bad times I have.
I have also explained the different feelings I have had in my life towards different people I know and I have explained their feelings towards me. Like many of us there has been different stages of my life that have changed but somethings have come back again, gone again and so on.When I started writing I thought a lot of my feelings would stay the same in different things in my life but how wrong was I? That's the way life goes.

S.J Gorman 1996 to 2009


Knowing what to do.

I fell for you because I thought you had a lovely kind caring face.

After two and a half years it seemed as you were the man for me.

I still love you even now.

You gave me so much happiness at that time.

I never thought you would hurt me like you did.

It was almost as if butter would not melt in you mouth.

In the end you let me down badly.

You changed all of a sudden.

You were not the man I fell in love with.

I must have fell in love with your twin.

He looks like you but better than you.

I don't think I will meet this nice loving man again. 27.5.99


A saying: There's two people in one person: good and bad in everyone. 27.5.99


I miss you.

I miss you because you were and still are my hero.

I miss you because you cared about me and wonder if you still do.

You have always been in my dreams.

You have always been in my heart.

I have always had a lot of love for you.

You have always been my dream lover and you still are.

I fell in love with someone else who really broke my heart.


I would like to forget you as you wanted to forget me, which is very hard when I am still in love with you.

Your always in my thoughts in day and dreams at night. 12 .10.99


I wonder if you regret.

Did you know how much you hurt me when you finished with me?

Did you know how much I loved you?

It took me long enough to get over two and a half years.

I don't know why I feel the same even now.

You went a head without thinking about my feelings towards you.

Still it's not all about me. 22.10.99

In my life.

I have cried many tears and many black eyes from sleepless nights and stress over you.

In my life my eyes have cried.

One I can say is I have never cried in my life as much as I have cried over you.

Now can you see how much I love you? 29.12.99


Please don't change the man I thought I knew.

Please don't change the man I love.

If you have please bring him back how he used to be.

I still love him but what's the point I don't think there's any going back now?

Please stay the same whether you love me or not because I still love. 29.12.99


Are you happy?

Are you happy with what you have got what do you want in life?

Are you feeling unhappy with her and wishing that you never hurt me?

How do you know whether I'd take you back or not, when I don't really know myself?

I was thinking about a loving friendship then seeing how it goes from there.

I may not bother taking you back at all.

You have only got yourself to blame with what you put me through, leaving me for her. 23.10.99


I will never get him back.

I must accept that I will never get him back.

I must have been dreaming that I was with him at all.

Was he a real person and was he really human?

Did love really happen bet ween me and him?

I used to keep on listening to him knocking at my door.

One day I knew he was never going to come back at all.

The last three years I have coped with such pain.

I don't know him and I don't his name anymore and I don't think I ever did.

He was never there, he was just inside my head.

He was just a person in my dreams and who I loved so much.

He was the man who said he's not normal.

In the end my dreams just turned into nightmares and pain.

Sadly I still miss but was he really there in my life in the first place or am I just going completely mad? 1999 -2000


I am here for you.

If you want to give me another chance I am here for you.

If you don't want to give me another chance, I don't blame you what I put you through.

If you want a young woman as a loving friend or lover I am here for you.

If you want someone to talk to I am here for you.

If you want someone to cry on I am here for you.

However you want me, I am here for you.

If it's everything I am here for you too. 2.1.2000


Never forget you.

I am like many many other fans who will never forget you.

We will never forget the way you entertained us when you were singing on the stage.

You made us happy whether we were watching or if we were right by the stage.

There may well be over a million people who turned to see you.

There all came to see Queen but you Freddie Mercury were the main one, you stil are in our eyes today.

I would have loved to have seen you but I was just a child growing up. 2007.


My life has changed for the better.

It only seems like yesterday since you left me for another woman.

Thank god she was not a friend of mine.

It does not seem long since I broke down in tears, when you hurt after us been together for two and a half years.

I really thought it was the end of my life when you hurt me.

Now I know that I am stronger than what I thought I was.

I am not weak anymore, I don't think I ever was.

I would not be here if I was weak.

I never thought I'd love again but I have.

I never even thought I wanted to love again.

I feel stronger than ever before. 22.8.2000


I like you.

When I saw you we became good friends.

I am ashamed that I was not a single girl when I met you.

For a long while now I have been so unhappy on and off because things have not worked out.

Things keep on going wrong getting better again too quickly I can't keep up with it all.

I think have depression because one minute I can feel down and then I feel up.
I will feel more for seeing you.

At the moment I am not ready for anything heavy.

Would you please accept very close friends?

This will only be until we get to know one another then we will see what happens.

I hope something special will come bet ween us. 19.3.2000


Looking for love again.

It always seems as if no love works out for me.

When you look nothing seems to ever come.

When you don't look it's here before you look.

It can take so long to have love.

I can't see or feel love today.

I may love tomorrow.

If I don't tomorrow, I will love some day. 19.3.2000


Our friend is not here anymore.

He went into his bedroom.

Nobody heard him or saw him.

He was found hanging in his wardrobe.

He was a funny guy who made people laugh.

He was a clever man.

He was a young man not even twenty- one.

He had a long life to look forward to but he took his own life.

He had so many things to live for that he did not know about.

He could not cope with the stresses and pains of life.

He did not want to bother anyone with what was going through his mind.

He had so many friends who would have listened to him including myself.

That's what friends are for. 23.1.2000



I don't want to hurt you.

I love as a very close friend but we can never be more.

I know you want more from me but sorry I just don't feel for you in the same way.

I am sorry that I can't give you want in a relationship.

Please understand because I really don't want to hurt you.

You are a lovely guy, there will be someone really special to you and you will be very special to her.

Sorry it's not me, I can't bring myself to feel that way about you.

What can I do and say to make it up to you?

I hope there is not any hard feelings bet ween us.

I am a loser not you, I have only myself to blame.

Whenever you want to talk to me I will always be there for you.

If want to talk private to me I will listen to you too, I want say a word to anyone.

If do want someone to know something, if want me to pass the message on I will do.

I will let you know what they have said.

I will always want to be your friend.

I don't want to lose your friendship.

I can't love you anymore than just friendship.

Please don't except anymore from me!

Don't drive me round the bend! 21.8.99


Sorry I just can't love you the way that you want me to.


I love you as a friend but I don't love you in the way you want me to love.

I don't mean anything nasty, it's just the way I feel towards you.

I only wish it was not true.

You are a very good friend to me and I hope I am to you.

I never stop thinking about you as my friend.

I am very happy that you feel the way you do about me but I am so sorry I don't feel the same way too.

I just can't cope with any relationship like I used to. 20.8.2000


I love the wrong man.

I love the wrong man, I don't think he is for me.

I am far too good for him but he's far too bad for me.

When you love that person you give them too many chances in life.

I must be mad to do so, he's hurting me so much but love is keeping me there.

No love is not keeping me anywhere anymore, if this can't get sorted I have had enough.

The only thing that weakens me is love.

More pain I have the stronger I get but I can't take anymore.

More pain that is given you love turns to hate. 23.1.2000


Can't stop thinking about you.

I love you more and more everyday.

I know you don't love me anymore but as long as you are happy that's all what matters.

Life does not feel the same without but I have learned to live without you.

In my dreams we have kissed you one another.

I woke up and remember that you are not with me anymore, you are with another girl.

We were holding hands too.

I miss you having you next to me.

I miss us touching one another.

I miss us loving one another.

I think about you every night and day, I mist be mad.

You were my first serious love of all.

I have loved you for far too long.

I have got to learn to forget about you, which is very hard.

I must move to someone who feels the same as I do.

This hard to do when I am so in love with you.

I love and miss your company.

You always put the sunshine back into my life.

You gave me so much happiness yet you bought me so much sadness.

I have a bad feeling I won't again because you won't love me again.

I will miss everything about you, no one else will do.

You are in my dreams, memory and mind.

To me you are still mine, knowing that I can't have you I'd sooner die.

You are on my mind all the time.

Love keeps on pumping round my heart and body for you.

I can't believe I am so mad to lose so much time and energy on a man like you. 21.2.2000

Truthful person.

Male or female, we are human beings.

None of us go through life without doing some things wrong.

It's not what we wrong as much as hurting others.

What hurts is others telling the truth when it hurts.
We may well still be cross but not as cross when people lie to us.

Whether one is in the right or wrong, it's important to tell the truth.

One of the reasons for the truth is because if you lie too much, you may not get believed when you are telling the truth. 10.2.2000


I think I am having a breakdown.

I think I am having a breakdown I can feel someone pushing me over the edge.

Oh God help me!

There's no light at the end of the tunnel.

I am cracking up and I don't know where to turn.

I feel weak and useless for any man at tall.

I don't know where to go for help.

Why is my head telling me I am going to have a breakdown?

I can't see what's a head of me.


Is there a voice in my head telling me right or wrong?

God help me, I think I am going to die!
Can't eat!
Can't sleep!
I feel weak.

I've been down this road before, I will fight it, I will cope again.

I should not go through it again.

I have had a lot of bad luck with lots of men, I am still young and strong.

I am not getting any young but life is a fight.

Please tell me what hope there is? 21.2.2000


Go to sleep.

You need so much sleep because you work all the hours god sends.

When you sleep please dream of me!

When you wake please think of me.

Please tell me what you have been dreaming and thinking!

Please tell nice things but the truth about what you thought.

Sleep well I'll leave you in peace now.

When I am a sleep I dream about being beside you.

What wishful thinking being with you.

I miss you so much and I look forward to seeing you.

I look forward to your company and your love, no matter how much time we have together.
I am so happy to be with you.

Sometimes I don't feel as if I am with you because I see so little of you but when I am with you I feel as if I am yours.

I also feel as if your are mine.
I hope you feel the same way too. 23.5.2000 - 23.6.2000

Happy life.

What do I call a happy life?

I call a happy with the man I love, which is you my love.

What made me fall in love with you?

There are many nice reasons too but mainly because of your handsome smile.

I have found what I want to do in my career and work, which is to be a writer of love. 23.6.2000


Happiness.

Look forward to the future it is all out there for you.

You might not see it but it's there to look forward to.

You must wonder what's round the condor for you, wait and see no one knows.

Surprises are out there for you. 6.8.2000


Just tell yourself that you have a life out there.

Just tell tell yourself that you have a life out there.

Do what you want that makes you feel good and happy.

Show everyone that you can do better than them.

How your life future is up to you. 6.8.2000


Not all dreams come true.

Follow your head and your heart.

You may or may not get what you want.

Let life and the future happen.

Something or someone may make you happy one day.

It might be someone or something that you never excepted or even thought about. 6.8.2000


I think I like you.

I know I only caught an eye of you once.

I liked the look of you.

I was hoping to get round to talking to you but it did not happen til now.

I kept hoping I would see you again in a way so you and me can talk.

I wondered if you felt the way as I do too.

Please let me know how you feel about me!

If your not interested in me I will accept it.

I hope so I would really like to give it a go.19.3.2000


Your just in dream land.

Your living in dream land.

You are never right on this earth.

Why has it took me all these years to see what a boring man you really are?

I must have been blind.

I must have been such a fool.

You live such a boring life doing the same thing every day.

How can you stand her nagging you twenty - four hours a day, no way?

Can't you see your trapped under her thumb all day long?

If you put up with this forever you are a bigger fool than I thought.

You have no chance of getting back with me at all.

I am better off being alone than with you. 25.6.2000


I'll always be there for you if you want me too.


I've done a lot for a lot of guys.

They have thrown it back in my face.

Some guys I have often loved and cared for.

They did not want to know, now I understand what losers they are.

Please don't worry I am there for you all the way.

Whenever you, I will be there for you like I promise to.

Only if you want me to and too.24.5.2000


My life love is silence.

My love life is silence, in my head, in my voice and in poetry.

He goes to work on at midnight.

I dream about him every single night.

I miss him every single day.

When I do see him it's such a delight.25.5.2000


Friends to love.

We have had quite a bit to do with one another for a while now.

We have both been hurt by our ex lovers in different ways.

I don't mind being friends with you but in a loving way or whichever way you want it makes me happy.

I hope you feel the same towards me too.

I understand that life has been very hard for you, it has for me too.

I will do my best to take it easy on you.

I hope you will do the same for me too.

Whatever we decide bet ween us, I think the world of you. 9.1.2000.


When I was with you I felt like a woman.

When I was with you I enjoyed your company.

I really did enjoy your love, we had some good times and you really made me feel good.

Hugging and dancing to love songs that you used to have.

For some reason when I was with you, I felt like a woman.

I felt like a woman in love, which I was.

Why did I not feel this way before I met you but I don't feel this way any more because I am not with you any more?

Why did I not feel this way when I lost you?

May be no other man will make me feel like you did. 3.1.2000


Understanding a woman.

You should know me by now.

If you don't know me by now, you don't know any woman at all.


By now you must understand what's going on inside my mind, I have told you so many times.

Find me a man who thinks like a woman but don't find me a woman!

I know us getting back together won't ever happen, not over night not ever at all.

Please listen to what I want in life, then see if you want the same!

Try to understand how things are and what to except of me, may be that is not what you want anymore.

I have had to brave enough to love another man with getting over so long been with you.

Please tell that we will always be mates. 3.1.2000


I can live without you if I have to.

If I have got to live without you I will do.

I can take or leave your love.

If I take your love, promise you won't hurt me anymore.

I miss your love very much.

Whatever happens bet ween us both I still love you.

I will take whatever comes my love, I am strong whether you want me or not. 2.1.2000

Are you blind?

Why do you want to know whether I have another man or not?

Why do you want to know whether I am in love or not?

I am not telling you.


I am not stupid, I know you still love me the way I love you.

Even if I am not in love, what makes you think I will come back to you.

I may love you but can I trust you?

If the right man comes along, I am going for it.

If I were you get back in my life quick before another man comes along, well lucky you!

I will only know whose right by whoever comes first.

Don't make life hard for me man.

You have been a naughty man.

I forgive you as a friend.

I can put it behind me now in the way you hurt me.

Now not many women can say that, think yourself a very lucky man.

You are lucky to have a second after cheating on me for another woman but you will have no more chances.

Cheer up and relax man.
Please don't ever hurt me again, that's if I ever will have you back. 2.1.2000


Please be fare to me!

Please make up your mind what you really want from me.

You make out you want me then you do.

Why did you give me a chat up line when he was there?

Why did you storm off at the bus stop when I was standing at the bus stop with him?

Why did you tell me to be careful while I was with him?

Why don't tell and show me what you really want?

I know you still feel something for me because you seemed up tight when you saw me with him. 2.1.2000



I miss you.

I miss you because you were my first serious lover.

I miss you because we both loved and cared about one another.

You are always in my dreams and thought.

You have always been my dream lover but I must accept that I will never get you back.

There's still a lot of love inside my heart for you.

I don't think I will ever stop loving you but you broke my heart in two when you fell in love with her.

I would like to forget you but that's impossible to do.

I am so sorry I find it so hard to move on.

All the time you are always on my mind day and night.

I am not complaining about romance that does not matter.

I just want the chance of having the man I love which is you back.

You don't have to buy me anything, you just have to give me back your love. 6.10.1999 - 20.5.2006


My hopeful mysterious lover.

A mysterious a male sent me a valentine card and a teddy bear on Monday 14th February 2000.

Whoever he is, it does not feel like I will ever know.

What and who could he look like?

Is he handsome enough for me?

Will he be faithful enough for me?

I really hope this card and teddy bear is for me, not the young woman next door.

I hope he is not some teenage boy who has a crush on me.

My dream lover is dark brown or black hair.

Blond hair and blue eyes.

Whichever way round, I must take my pick. 14.2.2000


What does it feel like?

When we first met I was twenty - one.

I could not see what could go wrong.

I have given you the chance to be my Dad as you are but somehow it does not seem as if you.

I thought I could forgive and forget.

When I look you in the eye, I can't help but remember what you put me and Mum through all those years ago.

I am sorry Dad, but I have tried to forgive and forget.

I can sometimes go blank about the past but other times I can't.

Knowing that you were not around in my childhood has hurt me too much to forget.

I will still find a way of getting on with my life with and without you, don't ever think I am scared of that.

Still thing could be worse.

All the same remember things have been bad enough.

Thank god things can't get that much worse now.

I am sorry, I wish I knew how to carry on as if nothing has happened.

I am so disappointed in you at times, even if it was the past Dad.

You have lost out on a lot of years of my life.

Do you understand that? 5.7.2000










You and me.


You and me are complete, we have been together for a long time now on and off.

I can't believe I have known you twelve years.

You are not only my best lover you are also my best friend.

You never give me a rose.

You rarely show me love.

All the same I still I love the same I did when I first met you, for some silly reason. 2005 - 2006.


This is the way to look forward.

We all have good and bad in us all.

Don't ask me why, I guess that's life.

We all have to cope with good and bad times in life.

Sometimes it can last a long time, other times can last a short time.

The hardest part is leaving the good times for the bad times but if there's more bad than good there's no point staying.

When it comes to love it's a hard barrier to break when you find more bad times than good.

When or if times get really hard love is also hard to mend, never mend what's already broken.

It can drive you in sane when your feelings are hard to control, when you love someone but hate them for hurting you.

Most people feel driven to the end of their lives.

Other people just seem to get through. 2005 - 2006.


Trying to get better.

I must try to smile.

Why can't I smile?

I have not got you.

Happiness is a word that I don't know anymore.

If only you showed me the meaning of happiness more and more.

May be I would feel even happier if I knew how you really felt about me.

May be I would better if you showed me more good about you than bad.

Why do I love someone who makes me feel so happy but then again so sad?

We can have laugh together we have done it before but not for a long time. 20.11.2005.

Who knows?

When we look at someone, what can make us full in love?

If we don't have control over love, why do we hurt one another?

Is that an unanswered question?

Does anyone know anything about anything? I don't.

Who knows?

May be nobody knows anything about anything. 2005 - 2006


No sign of romance.

No flowers

No romantic meals

No songs

No romance at all.

Of course romance is just too much to ask, I just want love.

Why do I bother and put with you.

May be asking for romance is asking too much of and off you.

Why am I still in love with you?

It's so hard to break the barrier of your love but I don't know how much I can take of your hate.

Once I started loving you now I can't stop, why does it feel like you don't love me at all or not enough? 20.11.2005.


It's hard to decide.

It's hard to decide what to do we are falling out too much yet I love you too much.

I want to stay with you but enough is enough.

I am trying to make us both happy but nothing seems to work, it all seems to be getting worse.

I want a life of my own so you can have a life of your own.

I don't except a pot of gold but a job and a bit more money in my pocket would help at least a bit.

I have been trying to make a start by going to Job change, is that not good enough for you?

I am trying my hardest to make things better by starting my career off, it takes time it does not happen over night.

Apart from it been hard to get a job anyone these days, it's even harder to get a job when you have a disability like myself.

I don't except a lot out of my social life other than to talking to friends.

Please wait as long as it takes or don't love me at all.

Please let me know whether you want me or not. 20.11.2005


What do you want?

You say you want to be friends then you want to be lovers.

How long is this going to keep up?

As long as it take me to get a job, that's what it sounds like to me.

I wonder what difference me having a job would make to our relationship.

I can't go out alone without looking for you at some point due to not having enough money and my fits.

I don't enjoy this anymore than you don't.

I fear stopping in my flat at night because of my fits.

I am looking for a one ground flat, then you can be out without me looking for you. 20.11.2005

It's hard to want to carry on.

We have both worked hard to get this relationship together after twelve years.

It's getting too much going on and off like a light.

I know there is not anything perfect in this world but we should not be feeling this unhappy.

I can't live with it anymore. 2005 - 2007



Friendship.

A loving friendship bet ween a man and woman not a heavy relationship at least while getting to know one another.

Companionship is a loving feeling towards a friend, when two people love one another.

They care about one another.

They worry about one another.

To give what's missing out of life without being too serious.

To love in friendship as much as if relationship.

To learn if you can trust one another in a friendship in order to have a relationship.

To love one another very much without rushing into a relationship.

For a man and woman full in love in friendship with accepting whether it turns into a relationship or not. 1997 onwards

Going Out?

Love and friendship is hard to find and keep whether you have disabilities or not.
Majority of people with disabilities find it hard to meet with all kinds of people including people like ourselves. These are the same thoughts when majority of us with disabilities want a little love in our lives. So, next time you are out think about the hard time majority of people with disabilities are having. Majority of us get bullied, ignored, misunderstood or and picked on. Society needs to accept us the same as other people. Society seems to turn a majority of us away because we seem and look different to other people. We would like to be accepted in society the same as other people. People with disabilities are human being just like you are.


Most people with disabilities find it hard to access transport.

Society, families and carers control the lives of majority people with disabilities in a loving way. There needs to be a balance between support needs and people with disabilities living our own lives by our choices.

Please post your views to sarajgorman@googlemail.com or Facebook sarajgorman@gmail.com Thank you.

Meeting someone

It's not very often we can find love at the end of the night as single people. Love is not every thing in life. All chances in life can be everything to people with disabilities, mainly if they have not been given to the chance to try them. Society has even taken a lot of chances away from people with disabilities. We only live once. Why are we here if we don't get chances to live our lives how we want? We understand that we can't live our lives how we want to all the time but everything seems to be put down to races, like for eg; learning disability. As people with disabilities we understand that it's not only us that society controls.

For quite a while on this site I have been writing about chances and barriers. Many people with disabilities are controlled by society. Some People with disabilities are more lucky than others, I am one of the lucky ones. Saying that, my disability is very mild so when it come down to the things I really need help with I can't always get the support. I still look out for people who are not as lucky as I am. I guess this can depend on what kind of disabilities people have got, it's seems a shame that people have looked down on in that way. There are all different kinds of disabilities but we are all still human beings. My job is to support people with all disabilities to see that they get the rights of their lives. It is also my job some families and carers to but balance it with what the people with disabilities want and need. We want people with disabilities to have more choice and control over their lives.

When it comes to trying things out, I have only just learned that if you look for love it does not happen but if you don't look for love it does happen. I have moved on from many failed relationships having learned it's going to be a very small chance that I will meet a love that will last forever. If you can walk into a relationship knowing more than likely it won't work, then you know you have to accept anything. Hold fire, don't be frightened it could last a long time if not forever if you are one of the very few lucky ones. My last relationship lasted 13 and a half years on and off even though I was still going to his house two years after we finished, we were friends. I have known him 15 years altogether on and off.

Love can be blind and wonderful at first. Sometimes slowly and other times quickly love can go sour. How long you can stand pain for is all according how much and how long you love that person for. Love is a feeling that is hard to control. I have only just stopped loving and feeling in love with someone after 15 years. It was hard to let go, even though I should have walked out a long time before I did. I have learned you have to get know someone before you get too close even though I am very fond of someone else now and I think he is of me.

Since I have been helping out at Mencap, they have been helping me. I have been getting counseling to get myself back on my feet again. I never thought I'd say this after 15 yrs that I don't love my ex boyfriend anymore. I have moved on to learn to stop feeling in love with him and to stop letting him hurt me. I am still coming to terms with it now but I am better Than I was. If you are in that situation whether you have a disability or not may be you should try doing the same but in your own time.

Only because I am out of there getting on with my life,I still don't feel 100% me. I am still finding my feet, I am not going to rush into the next relationship. Although I have a very close male friend who has been through near enough the same as I have in past relationships. Even though we like one another a lot, let's not been too hopeful about the future but never say never. What will be will be. As I have told you in the last report that I am having counseling because I still feel damaged. It can take a lot out of you for a long time.

Rasing social awareness for people without disabilities about people with.

Getting out and about can be hard for anyone not just for people with disabilities. Due to people with didsabilities needing more support than people without, it can be hard for people with disabilities to have our rights and choices. Having said that some of us are more luckey than others. Most people can't go out unless they are in groups for eg; Circle of Friends and Mates to Dates supported by Mencap.Transport also seems to be a big deal. Most famlies, carers and etc seem to be more over project than they should be which isn't any help to peoples' independence. A lot of people like to make friends and reationships so do people with disabilities. Everyone goes through risks in life so do people with disabilities. Everyone needs to be strong to life so do people with disabilities. Everyone needs money to go out so do people with disabilities. There diffence can be that most people with disabilities need support to get out and about. When your out spare a thought for those who can't get out and about without help.

For the last year or so there's been a big credit cruch, now it's getting worse. A lot of things have cut back not just things for people with disabilities. The more things that do cut back, there will be nothing left of the country. Mates to Dates have cut back and Circle of Friends are either cutting back or already have.

As I may be have told you early on in this site. My relationship broke up 13 and a half years ago, which was on and off. I still carried going to his house every night for two years after the slit just as friends. It's turned out things got that bad I found myself needing counseling to get myself on my feet again plus my work is keeping me going as well. The last time I had counseling, I was given a very interesting book to read called THE ASPERGER LOVE GUIDE.'We all know that people with disabilities find it very hard to find friendships and love to keep hold of. We all know that a lot of relationships are not meant to last anyway even in led people without but it can can get bit too much when each one ends for the reason of having disabilities. This book I am reading is a guide to help people with disabilities cope with relationship and to help without disabilities cope too when having partners who are Asperger.

I would like to write a book called DISABILITIES, FRIENDSHIPS AND LOVE' I would like to say why in my book why I think people disabilities find it hard to make friends and reationships. People with disabilities also understand that it can be hard for people without disabilities to make friendships and reationships too.


Everyone needs to make friends.
Most people like to have lovers.
People with disabilities want to make friends too.
Most people with disabilities want to have someone to love just like most of you do.

Commuication and understanding helps for us to get along together in life.
People with disabilities would like to teach people without how to communicate with us and how to understand us.

sarajgorman@googlemail.com or and Facebook sarajgorman@gmail.com, you are welcome to read Mencap's website on staying up late WWW. mencap.org.uk/stayuplate. A lot of people with disabilities have complained about their evenings been too short for them because of their support workers finishing work. Some people with disabilities don't get out at all due to been controlled by carers, families and not enough support working staff.

Introducing our training package of ACCESS ALL AREAS NOW!

The idea of setting this training package is to train people without learning disabilities who work in disability services and students working around the Learning Disability field around Learning Disability Awareness. Myself and Jessica Bromley my business partner did a training session at The Jenny Lee centre Wolverhampton with support from Mencap, Employment Pathways and Wolverhampton city on Monday 5th October 2009. This is what some people without disabilities had to face from me and Jessica at 9.30am.

We did our last Pilot on Monday 7th December 2009. It is now May to June 2010, Access All Areas Now! our office building is on Albert road Wolverhampton. Me and Jessica are now in business but we can only use the office when staff on are on site, plus we are having to share the office with other learning disability services. There's still a lot to do yet as there still of jobs to be done in the rest of the building, which people are doing. We still haven't had our phone lines done just yet but I will let you know as you as we do. If you need to call us, 07771836853 but until we get our phone lines in the office Dave Pike our work supporter will be taking our calls.

The first training session we had done was training the manner and staff of the Special needs library at Centre library Wolverhampton. That mostly worked around accessible information. We have up dated the package to what it was when we used to do our pilot, there are a few changes but not many. The training session was held 2.00pm - 5.00pm at the main Central library, on Wednesday 28th April 2010. We will up date this package as soon as we get time to after this session has taken place. sarajgorman@googlemail.com

We will introduce ourselves to our trainees by Jessica telling the trainees about herself and a bit about ACCESS ALL AREAS NOW!

Jessica, it's over to you.

I will explain about me and a bit about ACCESS FOR ALL AREAS NOW!

Jessica will tell everyone that they are going to do ICEBREAKER.

Jessica will people sitting next to one another to talk about what they want to learn from Monday.

Jessica will ask them to write it on post its and stick them on the board.
She will thank them.

Sara, it's over to you


I will the Aim and Objectives on the board.

I will explain that there are the Aims and Objectives of today.

To define what a learning disability is.
To inform learners about the needs (and wants) of people with learning disabilities regrading your service(s).
To inform learners the wants and needs of people with a disability.

To explore and challenge values, behaviors and attitudes.

To provide an introduction to producing accessible information.


Learning Disability.

Now we would like to know what the word ' Learning Disability' means to you.

Please get into groups of three or four and talk about it.

Please feed back in 15 minutes thank you.

During in 15 minutes we will be check the post its from the ICEBREAKER.


Learning Disability.

Our own experience is.

Service providers don't understand learning disability for example people with disabilities getting confused with different people giving us different kinds of information over one question we may ask.

I would like to share my story of a bad health experience with you, which called my experience of the NHS if click around on this website. This story is apart of the Our Drama Health play based on our own Health experiences. Our Shout is a Self - Advocacy group of people with learning disabilities speak up for other people with disabilities and our selves.


We have experience of the lack of communication between us and the people around round us, this includes people working in services.


There are times that we don't feel listened to as well as not understood.

Our choices of life need to be supported not taken away.

Myself and Jessica have given two examples each about our own lives.

"Jessica, it's over to you."

Jessica will now introduce a short DVD ' Our Shout Health Drama play'

After the DVD Jessica will tell everyone that it's time for a 15 minute break.

Jessica will ask the trainers to tell us what they thought of the DVD after the break.

After the DVD the trainees will rate customer service provision regrading.

Face to face customers dealing ( group1).

Communication (group2).

Values (group3).

Better manners, better tone of voice and to give a bit us and yourselves more time to learn how to understand and commuicate with one another (group4).


Individualised service ( group5)

Sara, it's over to you.


I will read and talk about accessible information.

Accessible Information.

We are now talking about how make information easy and clear to follow. This is called Accessible information.

There needs to be better tones in people's voices and no rudeness.
Our disabilities need to be understood.

Most people with disabilities find languages hard, people who don't speak English need to go on English courses to learn to communicate with the people around them.

Accessible Information Group put together some helpful guidelines.
This group is made up of people with a learning, including myself and other people in local organisations.

Please split into groups of 4 or more and have a good look at your leaflets.

Welcome to Learning Disability and Health Awareness for you and the service you work in.

Pass on what you learn today onto the service providers and managers you work with and for, thank you.


What ideas do you have to make them clearer for people with Learning Disabilities to read and understand?

Feedback to us in 15 minutes.

Take these guidelines with you. We hope they will be useful for you in the future.

"Jessica, it's over to you.".

Please tell us one thing which you have learned today.

Have we covered what's on the post its?

Sara, it's over to you.

ACCESS ALL AREAS NOW!

We are ACCESS ALL AREAS NOW! We want to help everyone understand more about how much people with learning disabilities can do given the same chances as everyone else. In your study package we have information on our business ACCESS FOR ALL AREAS NOW! We would like to offer Learning Disability Awareness Training to Learning Disability services and for those who would need and like it.

The pilot scheme plan Monday 5th December 2009. In this package students will see a booklet of what they will be learning on their Learning Disability Awareness. The next booklet will be Mencap's report of fact about learning disability. This explains the negatives people with disabilities face, Wolverhampton Accessible Information Guidelines, which teaches people how make information easy to read and understand, jobs for people to apply for plus application form and our business profile.

Mencap and Employment Pathways have put us on a three mouth pilot scheme for our business. We are doing a training session on Monday 5th October 2009, Monday 9th November 2009 and Monday 7th December 2009. I will try to up date this report before the 9th November 2009.

Monday 9th November 2009.

Sorry to take so long to up - date this package as I have been very busy with raising awareness of people with disabilities socializing. We have not added a great deal on to this package other them saying a bit more about ourselves and about what life is like for other people with disabilities. I have that hopefully my report ' Going Out!'will be printed in the Express & Star. We have also added on Anna Robinson's email address, she is the person who runs the Accessible Information group, we are hoping that our students who were were on our course yesterday will come along to learn from our Accessible Information group. We have also invited the students to our partnership, we have also added our supporter from Mencap's email address for them to contract her if anyone wants to go to the partnership board. On package 2 not a lot has changed other than we have added a booklet called, which is a report from Mencap called About profound and Multiple learning disability, which explains about those kind of disabilities.

Monday 7th December 2009. There is not a lot of change to the Learning Disability Awareness package other than I will be going on another writing course on Saturday 12th December 2009. We have added a new report called Valued In Public, which is a kind of an easy read report to help people with disabilities.

Now this is the end of our pilot scheme, we will be giving Learning Disability Awareness training, our business flayers are printed out but we are still waiting for our business cards by Access For Business, which is one of the companies who are supporting us.