COMING OUT OF EMOTIONAL STRESS AND DEPRESSION.

IT'S ALL IN ONE'S HEAD THEY SAY.

It's all my head they say when I fell over the deck, therefore not a lot can be said when I'm well fed.
I slept to rest my head in bed, I woke up at 12pm as my face went red.
She asked me if I wanted a coffee but I asked for tea instead.
Today is a grey day drawing as the rain is pouring.
Too late to hear the sound of the cuckoo.
Morning almost dark of the night as it fights the light, which is no great site to get bright. 22.9.2019

TO BE WITH YOU.

To be with you over the hills and dales and far away for the rest of our days.
Our love will be fire, not even water will wash us away.
Now I'm over the hill, wake from nightmares, yet into dreams that are real but so hard to believe.
Therefore I know you will be worth the wait, I've been waiting for you all my life, which is now so real. 22. 9 2019

IT WAS A LONG NIGHTMARE, HE'S NOT REAL HE NEVER WAS.

I must have been feeling the pain that wasn't there, he was just in my head so he can't, it was all in the head.
Can't believe I almost drank myself to death to a point I was almost num but the pain was still there.
Now I feel nothing for him to a point I think he's real or ever was.
I'm still alive to write the tale and what a tale it was, therefore, he hasn't killed me or hurt me because he never was, it was all in my mind.
I forgot it, I just had a long nightmare and woke up to a lot better world.
I've spent years writing a line like been naughty in school, to tell myself time and time again I only dreamt what I was going on in order to move on even though it was real but I needed to believe it's real to move forward. 22. 9 2019

DON'T TELL ANYONE.

Don't tell anyone it goes away.
Don't tell anyone to get over it.
Don't tell anyone to move on.
It either stays with them or it doesn't.
If the feeling goes it goes in its own time.
Anyone whose goes though it wishes it goes away, they try in every way.
Some of us are lucky than others but even those who are lucky won't forget what it felt like.
It's not an easy road to go through to find in the end it's just in our head but then it's not because it's so real we've been there.
There is not a nice place to be, there is an unhappy feeling inside of me, which makes me feel silly if I'm lucky to come out of it and yet those who have and are facing it only know.
Don't us you know if you haven't face it.
He wasn't anyone to be, it and he was my imagination. 22. 9. 2019

I COULDN'T BRING MYSELF TO SAY.

I couldn't bring myself to say how I felt about you, it felt so wrong of me to feel this way with shame and guilt knowing that I'm a number year older than you.
I should have been older and wiser but I feel nothing for you now.
I didn't show how I felt cause I knew you didn't feel the same way, which would have made me feel foolish, it was just all in my head.
Therefore I was more than willing to get over it.
It was just a silly feeling inside of me, which I knew would pass one day.
You didn't have to be easy going about this, it wasn't easy for me to bring myself to say, which made me feel foolish. 9.12.17

So far away or not at all.

Never judge what you don’t know.

Things aren’t the same for everyone.

I went from seeing darkness, lightness then brightness.

Now the future is moving forward into the light and the bright.

I’m amazed I’ve moved forward at all, I saw the light from the dark and now it’s bright.

We both feel the same way for one another, he’s so much better than the other was. 22.9.2019

FLIGHTING WITH THE MIND.

Flighting with my mind is all I seem to do; seem to think things I do and don't really mean.

Taking a risky road without even realizing it at times.

I wrongly once let people get in my way and listened to the wrong people.

I didn't always take the right advice.

Therefore, I took the risk of loving someone I now hate but still, we all make mistakes.

If only I was braver, I would have saved myself from so much pain.

I took the risk knowing he was going to break me again, then realized that I fell, but I got back up again. 

It was a big mistake I thought he'd change.

In the ended up, I finally walked away from him, which I never thought I would 31. 12 2012 

THIS ISN'T A CRY FOR HELP.

It wasn't a cry for help or seeking attention. 

Just that you don't need a reason to feel depressed it can happen for one or even many reasons or no reason at all, it's just a feeling inside you.

No one chooses to feel the way they feel.

Putting the past behind us can be hard to, Depression isn't all sadness.

Depression isn't all about black, white, taking pills and one's own life, we just fight with our minds and appear to be happy and sad just like everyone.

We only hide our feelings at times in order to manage our lives the best way we can do. 31. 12. 2012 to 26. 9. 2016

 27 1997.

At the age of 27 1997, it was a bad year.
You broke my heart, you have torn me apart.
At the age of 27 in 1997 I just wanted to go to heaven.
Life did not seem worth living, it all seemed like a dark tunnel.
The winter was dull and cold without you.
I discovered Shelly and Keats in the summer.
Without planning to I wrote poetry but when I did I knew life was worth living after all.
Once I started writing poetry it helped me clear my mixed up mind which helped me to get stronger in my mind.
That's when I learned to understand that life goes on, without writing poetry I would have broken down or and even ended my own life.
Jim Hendricks, Kurt Cobain, and Jim Morrison all suffered depression one way or the other over difference very bad times in life; they were all 27 when they died.
They were very creative people in their music but I pulled through my breakdown when I was nearly twenty - eight by discovering poetry. 13.2.2009

Disability, Mental health other problems, emotional stress and creativelty.

Throughout life, things happen that we can't do anything about but most of us at the time don't want to let go of things which is harder for some people than others., which are most of us face disabilities, other problems, etc. Now a lot of people who don't disabilities and other problems, illnesses etc say Mental health, for example, don't understand why we can't accept even the most basic negative things happening to us like a relationship break up but then even for people who have got disabilities etc, the reasons behind relationship breakups can be more major than others as for those who do face disabilities, etc.

Back in 1997, I had a mental break down over a guy I had been seeing for 2 and a yrs, not only had gone off with someone else but what I wasn't realizing at the time he was mental abusive where he wasn't sure whether he wanted to leave me for her or not, I was aware that he wasn't sure what to do but I had no idea till a counselor told me yrs later he was been mental abusive.  At the time I was madly in love him and didn't want him to leave me but he kept on for so long he was sure what he wanted I just then told him to go with her. At the time it seemed like the hardest thing I had to do but think about it now it shouldn't have been because I feel nothing for him now. Like did realize that there was Couseloring in the college till a friend told me, I understand what that meant at the time and I thought everyone thought I was going mad at the time if I went for it then I went for it about six months later. I could see no light at the end of the tunnel at the time and I felt I wasn't going to get through every day, drinking, smoking heavy etc and I felt like I didn't want to be alive anymore.

However' I'm not sure how but somehow I was still going to my work experience and college but it wasn't easy to focrus etc. However' I lost a fair few work placements for it but I still managed to get through the qualifications I was studying at college so thinking about it I was stronger than I thought was at the time. One I was walking along the college library looking at books etc, I was study English at the time and I'd written some unsuccessful short stories beforehand. I suddenly picked up a John Keats poetry book without thinking about and not really knowing what the book was, who John Keats was etc before I never focus much on books etc due to my dyslexia etc. When read John Keat poems what he had written seemed to connected what I was going through at the time, I then started to realize I wasn't alone and one of his words inspired me to write similar to him. From there, things seemed to become clearer to me and I was starting slowly improve and be more positive in myself. I understand that being creative etc doesn't work for everyone and not everyone get through etc some do. I know at the time of going through emotional stress it's not easy to think it will ever end so I can well understand it works for some not others. It's too easy for someone to say someone you will get through just because they did, but then when I was going through it whatever anyone did or said as much I knew they were trying help I didn't see any way forward. Although I came through I understand it doesn't work for everyone. All we can do there is let them know if they need us we are here but not force help on them. There needs to be more support for those who are facing emotional stress,  Mental break downs etc, some find it harder than others but there least we can do is let them know we are here for them if they want us. What concerns me is that less and less is going into counseling etc for those who wish to go for it. It's not a nice feeling to feel your worthless and you shouldn't be alive like I used to feel, no one should have to feel that way no matter what. 

DISABILITY SPORT AWARENESS.

This report is to raise awareness of disability and sport, in my case Dyspraxia sport. This is a chance for my members who face disabilities in my disability groups on Facebook to raise awareness of what they face with having disabilities etc and experiences with the sport to people involved in their lives such as parents, families, carers, friends, partners, support workers, social workers, professions, etc, even people who are training or and study in the fields disabilities or all other problems.

Here's a bit about me, when I was a child there was no awareness of dyspraxia and a lot of other disabilities, learning difficulties, etc. I hated PE, in those days we had ladders and ropes which I never felt safe, but I still had to do PE, even with the teachers holding on to me as I climbed the ladders. In terms of help and support, there wasn't any because no one knew anything or and very little what disabilities, etc neither did the people like us. The help and support I needed were physical help me get a least a bit stronger, old school ladders and ropes are not safe for people with Dyspraxia. Sports such as netball, hockey, and rounders I never coped with. I weren't too bad with throwing a ball but catching a ball I had problems with and I found it hard to keep up with speed still do.

On the positive side, I can swim but it looks like a doggy paddle and something else, I very slow but safe as long as I'm keeping an eye, but I'm not a bad or a great swimmer.

 By Sara Jane Gorman

DISABILITY HOBBIES, INTERESTS, TALENTS AND CAREERS

This group is for people with disabilities who want to talk about, post, etc their hobbies, interests, talents, careers, etc, even ask each other or and admins to find information online such as job search, information hobbies, interests, talents, etc.

Safety rules.

1 No stigma
2 No Judging 
3 No discrimination
4 No porn
5 Do respect everyone in the group. 

DISABILITY ISSUSES SUPPORT WORLDWIDE GROUP

This group is now set up for people with disabilities etc to talk about emotional and disability issues including socializing, such as relationship breakups, deaths, benefits issues, disabled access, health housing, hobbies, interests, careers etc. To be able to talk to and support one another, talk to and receive support Admins as well, please understand everyone is skilled and not skilled in different ways but if no one knows anything about what you're talking about Admins will search for help elsewhere.
 If you wish a parent, carer, friend, partner, social worker, support worker, professional etc to join that's fine  or more than 1 of those type of people that's fine but they can only join with you permission but also let admins know so we know they are on the group reason for this is due to the 3 questions but they won't need to answer questions if you have given them permission and you have told us they are joining the group.

This is still the same type of group as it was just with more added on, socializing is still allowed but more topics added so, please remember this group is for all issues as well-meaning please respect people's privy like it says in the rules nothing said to people outside the group without permission of the people you talk to.

Safe rules.

1. No discrimination.
2. No Sigma.
3. No personal information on the groups and if someone does put their personal information on by mistake do not contact them etc or pass their information to anyone else unless you have their permission to do so, if you have concerns someone has put on their personal information the group without meaning to let us Admins know and we will delete it off the group.
4. Do not judge anyone.
5, Do not tell anyone outside this group about what's said in this groups unless you have permission from who has said what to do so.
6. No porn or and anything nasty on the group.
7. No rude or and nude post.
8. No pming and friend requesting without permission unless you know one another, being one another already or and you've added as a friend to one another already.
9. Do request one another's choice and feelings not everyone will feel the same as one another, don't force people to feel the same you, please accept that or leave the group, don't upset others if you can't accept things may not be going your way.
10. Feel free to report any or and all problems you may face by others to us but please provide a proof so we know we are blocking and removing people who have done wrong in the group.
11. Do not grass on people who haven't done anything wrong, either accept they are on the group or leave the group if you really don't like them, don't report them unless they have done wrong and show us proof on that. 

MEN-CAP'S LEARNING DISABILITY WEEK 17TH JUNE TILL THE 23RD JUNE 2019

This report is to raise awareness of disability and sport, in my case Dyspraxia sport. This is a chance for my members who face disabilities on my disability groups on facebook to raise awareness of what they face with having disabilities etc and experiences with the sport to people involved in their lives such as parents, families, carers, friends, partners, support workers, social workers, professions, etc, even people who are training or and study in the fields disabilities or all other problems.

Here's a bit about me, when I was a child there was no awareness of dyspraxia and a lot of other disabilities, learning difficulties, etc. I hated PE, in those days we had ladders and ropes which I never felt safe but I still had to do PE, even with the teachers holding on to me as I climbed the ladders. In terms of help and support, there wasn't any because no one knew anything or and very little what disabilities, etc neither did the people ourselves. The help and support I needed were physical help me get a least a bit stronger, old school ladders and ropes are not safe for people with Dyspraxia. Sports such as netball, hockey, and rounders I never coped with. I weren't too bad with throwing a ball but catching a ball I had problems with and I found it hard to keep up with speed still do.

On the positive side, I can swim but it looks like a doggy paddle and something else, I very slow but safe as long as I'm keeping an eye, but I'm not a bad or a great swimmer.

ALL SORTS OF MUSIC, MEMORIES AND DECADE.

DESCRIPTION

Creator Sara Jane Gorman

Head Admin Harry Cawood

Admin Simon John Cash-Davis

Admin James Lakeman

Admin Alistair Wilkinson

Jennifer Gilbert Harvey
Barry John Matthews
Ron Dixon 

DESCRIPTION

Creator Sara Jane Gorman

Head Admin Harry Cawood

Admin Simon John Cash-davis

Admin James Lakeman

Admin Alistair Wilkinson

Jennifer Gilbert Harvey

Barry John Matthews

Jennifer Gilbert Harvey

Ron Dixon

ALL SORTS OF MUSIC, MEMORIES AND DECADE.

DO NOT BUY, SELL, OR ADVERTISE AND NO SWEARING, RUDE OR DIRTY WORDS ON OUR GROUPS IF YOU ARE CAUGHT BREAKING RULES YOU WILL BE BLOCKED AND REMOVED OF THE GROUPS.

NO BAND AND SINGERS IN SOCIAL EVENTS BUT FAMOUS BANDS AND SINGERS ARE FIN.

Please do not post and advertise DJ, radio stations, equipment etc on the groups!

No posting non-famous bands, singers, etc in pubs the street, only famous music videos with famous bands, singers etc same in all post.

No buying and selling on the groups

No blocking any Admin or else you will find yourself blocked.

Please read the purpose and safety rules off the pinned post, website link and description thank you from Sara Jane Gorman head admin and creator.

Who can and who would like to be part of our Admin team? As we are fb groups, we are sorry we can't ofter any pay but you can choose when your on and off the groups and how long for as long you let us know when you are on and off.

You don't have to tell us why unless it's anything that concerns the Admin or and groups, please let us know if you can't or and don't to be on our team anymore at any time, we don't need to know a reason unless it concerns the team or and groups. Please do not ofter if you think and you're sure you can't take part in Admin.

Please reply if you think you might be interested or and you want to find out what the role is before you decide by either or both pming Sara Jane Gorman, Harry Cawood or chat us on the groups and one of us will pm you.

We are looking for new Admins to be part of Our Admin team.

We have 3 music groups from back in the day to today.

Do you like your music and miss Items from back in the day but also like certain items from today for example old tape recorders to the internet.

From black and white tv to color.

If you have a fair amount of time on your hands and interested in giving it a go being Admin for us please let us know.

Do you have good IT access for eg; to be able to post music videos from youtube, pictures of famous, items, etc back in the day to today.

NO BUYING, SELLING OR ADVERTISING ON OUR GROUPS PLEASE ANYONE CAUGHT DOING THIS WILL BE BLOCKED AND REMOVED

Please read the purpose and safety rules off the pinned post, website link and description thank you from Sara Jane Gorman head admin

We are looking for new Admins to be part of our Admin team.

We have 3 music groups from back in the day to today.

Do you like your music and miss Items from back in the day but also like certain items from today for example old tape recorders to the internet.

From black and white tv to color.

If you have a fair amount of time on your hands and interested in giving it a go being Admin for us please let us know.

Do you have good IT access for eg; to be able to post music videos from youtube, pictures of famous, items, etc back in the day to todayhttps://sararevealed.blogspot.com/2019/04/all-sorts-of-music-memories-and-decade.html

Hi everyone welcome of you who like the this is a group I would expect lots of posts to make it fun from all time periods, Decades music, clothes, toys and etc. This will make a change from disabilities and health problems but if you have a history of disabilities and health problems from all time periods, you're more than welcome to add it to this group you want. This is a chance for you to add anything you know and remember that your welcome share you want about.

DO NOT BUY, SELL, OR ADVERTISE AND NO SWEARING, RUDE OR DIRTY WORDS ON OUR GROUPS IF YOU ARE CAUGHT BREAKING RULES YOU WILL BE BLOCKED AND REMOVED OF THE GROUPS.

NO BAND AND SINGERS IN SOCIAL EVENTS BUT FAMOUS BANDS AND SINGERS ARE FINE.

Please do not post and advertise DJ, radio stations, equipment etc on the groups!

No buying and selling on the groups

Please read the purpose and safety rules off the pinned post, website link and description thank you from Sara Jane Gorman head admin and creator.

We are looking for new Admins to be part of Our Admin team.

We have 3 music groups from back in the day to today.

Do you like your music and miss Items from back in the day but also like certain items from today for example old tape recorders to the internet.

From black and white tv to color.

If you have a fair amount of time on your hands and interested in giving it a go being Admin for us please let us know.

Do you have good IT access for eg; to be able to post music videos from youtube, pictures of famous, items etc back in the day to today.

NO BUYING, SELLING OR ADVERTISING ON OUR GROUPS PLEASE ANYONE CAUGHT DOING THIS WILL BE BLOCKED AND REMOVED

Please read the purpose and safety rules off the pinned post, website link and description thank you from Sara Jane Gorman head admin

We are looking for new Admins to be part of our Admin team.

We have 3 music groups from back in the day to today.

Do you like your music and miss Items from back in the day but also like certain items from today for example old tape recorders to the internet.

From black and white tv to color.

If you have a fair amount of time on your hands and interested in giving it a go being Admin for us please let us know.

Do you have good IT access for eg; to be able to post music videos from youtube, pictures of famous, items etc back in the day to today.