Sunday 22 December 2013

More about diaries

It was Friday 14th January 1994, when I wrote about moving back to Wolverhampton from Wales and Shropshire.  Not a lot had changed over the years since my childhood but I had been up and down to Wolverhampton over the years. Apart from going back to my roots, I came back to have a social because Wales and Shropshire has always been out in the sticks and it will always will be. Saying that now Wolverhampton is like a ghost town nothing to it anymore. I also looking forward to a better career. It was a start but not quite, even now twenty years later I am still working on it. I started college just before Christmas 1993, I was studying English because I knew I wanted to be a writer, which yet again I am still working on twenty years later but I had been on many places through schemes, which many didn't have anything to do with what I wanted to do.
Life was full of the unknown shocks and surprises. My weak spots were always romance. Every man I ever had I thought was better than the rest, when really they were all as bad as one another in different way but they had their good points too at least some anyway. I was still rather damaged after my realtionship break up with Steven Preen but I was very slowly getting over that. My mistake was I met and fell in with Anthony Shone six mouths later, which was far too quick, which never worked out but we had been fooling ourselves for 13 yrs on and off trying to make it work, which we shouldn't forced something that wasn't meant to be.
I live with my Aunty Vicci for a while my Mother was sorting me a house, then I lived with my Grandmother for a short while.
In the year 2000 Journal that my Mother bought me Christmas 1999. I hadn't written a diary or journal since 1993 I don't think. I made another mistake fulling in love with another young man named Ian Hutchinson about just 12 mouths after Anthony finished with me for another woman the first time,  I wrote a poem called ' I miss you forever more'. In thinking  as I did with many that he was the right person for me but he wasn't.
In this daily Journal I was saying that life is too short to waste. There's 100 years in a century : we will not be here in the next 100 years. I was saying I was hoping that this will be a Journal for the next generation : possibly our generation as well at least most of us anyway. The Journal diary was written about my life in the year 2000.  I said sooner or not later I will type it out, which is what I am starting to do. I am willing to make my work more interesting as time goes on.  This diary will be looked at as old in years to come but unknown whether it's easy to read or not like many old Journals generations before us. It's now the 22nd  December 2013 it will be soon 2014 so more diaries and Journals to come.
I don't know what I was thinking saying I don't want people to read my Journal util I have left the planet. I think I saw it as private information I was writing at the time, which a lot of that part of my life has gone now so it doesn't really matter to me anymore.
Who I thought as my first serious boyfriend Anthony went off with another woman about nearly 17 years ago when I was twenty - seven years of age. I became thirty October 24th 1999, although I had been starting to move on in my life, which I found hard getting over Anthony then but I feel nothing for him now.
'Handsome young man.'  was another poem of mine in this Journal, which showed I never really got over Anthony at that point even though I was with Ian. Little did I realize that Ian was just as bad.
My Daily Journal Millenium 2000. Saturday 1st January 2000. I said about the fireworks going off at 12,00am but then it has happened every year since : not before.
Saturday 8th January 2000, when a friend of my John Paul Howell died at the Good Shepherd Wolverhampton. He was found hanging in a wardrobe holding a coat hanger with a belt round his neck at 6.30pm. On 25th February 2000 was his 21st birthday. Sadly I was unknown to the reasons why he took his own life but this was much information and my friends were told at the time.    
  

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