Anxiety and Depression part 5.

Very often employers worry about these people been a danger to themselves and others but if people are doing what they are good and what they enjoy, this bring a good and safe relationship with the people they work with and less support they will need if the job is right for them.

 When you look at it like that they are safer at work than at home. When they don't have anything to keep the mind busy they are more likely to be danger to themselves. 
Advocacy is a way of making sure that services are doing their job how they should, which these days are rarely the case. Action tends to speak louder than words.

Most of the time promises are made then broken. Yes empowerment is needed one can't depend on other people and services all the time but need to most of the time. different peoples' needs and abilities are different this is why the government is cutting back on to the most important thing even though it's  important to save money as well. It’s very important to look at things from both sides of the coin. Different people need support on different things. It is also important to give people confidence too.

Personal care tends to get neglected too for the people who don't have family support. Attitudes need to change because no one knows what others are going through unless a lot of these problems happen to them. I think there's a lot of planning to make in services. It's hard to say that we are getting better when all these cuts have come in. The cuts are making us move backwards not forwards which shouldn't be the case.

A lot have of people have been let down by a lot of services for a lot of years, which can make it hard to have trust in services where they give up asking for help even though they need it. More often than not these people have no family support so they are used to nothing getting or and making do. The rest of the world thinks these people are getting on with their lives fine but in case in many people

Long to notice, it just
something you learn to accept if you have been living with it all your life.

  It's just hard getting people to accept the way you are as a person as well as a person with learning disabilities.

The causes are unknown; it can either
be on its own or linked to other disabilities like mine is. There's no limit of
time of long we feel worried and stress for. It can be even harder if it is linked
on to other disabilities because you feel angry not been equal to the rest of society. When you have been living with it all your life you learn to live with it
and you calmer than you used to be and accept bad things better. We get dryness in our mouths, we feel shaky, tense, fast heart beat and we find it hard to sleep. Just because a person may not face all these things, it doesn't mean they don't suffer from Anxiety Panic attacks are the main causes of Anxiety.

Anxiety and panic attack.

 It can be very strange bad and strange thoughts go into your head whether there's a reason to feel like this or not.

You can feel whatever way you feel whether your thoughts in your head are true or not.

These thoughts can happen any time, any place and anywhere even in your sleep.

During childhood, which had they can be night terrors but as adults they can be nightmares.

You can hear and see things whether they are there or not.

Many times you chat to yourself and answer yourself in your head.

Everything seems and feels so real at the time whether it is all not.

Even though you go through these things yourself it doesn't mean that everyone who suffers from Anxiety and panic attacks does.

Lying in bed in my sleep this morning I was on top of a bridge moving in rushing water of a storm.

Strangely on this bridge there were a box of eggs, the lid kept on going up and down as the bridge was rocking in the storm.

Although I was in bed covered up I felt cold drafts going down my spine.

The water was rushing forward like waves as if it was the sea but it was a river.

From the bridge the bottom of the river seemed further and further down, i was trying not to look down but the bridge took me down, the further I thought down seemed and felt very scary.

With very strong wind of the storm the eggs were rushing of the bridge with the waves of the storm as the bridge broke to bits.

I felt myself going further and further more as the cold daft went through my spine then I couldn't bring myself to go further more. 

Now I feel mad with myself because these thoughts came into my head for no reason at all yet I don't know why.

In the past not that often I have had thoughts not that much different to this but they seem so long to remember now. 28.5.2013

 WHAT MAY NOT HELP YOUR AWARENESS?

People autism that is on certain tablets for example, very strong tablets can cause very dangerous side -affects.  These side effects can happen to anyone even if they don’t have Autism and Epilepsy. Doctors should put you on the tablets that are right for you.

You could find that these tablets affect your ability, which could be a scary and dangerous experience for you like it was for me. From walking the street around hours on end, you lose your sense of direction and surroundings. I have been close to have been getting run over by a car because of the tablets making me unaware. Sometimes we don't realise what a big wide world it is, it can be dangerous if that. It's as if you are always in a black out all the while. To society you as if you are going round the bend, which are when walking round for hours not understanding where you going, what you are doing, not knowing whether you are going the right or wrong way. These things can happen to you unintentionally, a lot of people don't understand that. It's as if you plan your life to be this way but you don't. People, who don't know and understand people with disabilities, tend to give us a hard time.  

Once someone tells you about something you have been doing or not doing that your not aware of when you come round and someone tells you what's happened, it's very upsetting because that isn't the real you. May be it affects you when you don't have your tablets. Everyone is difference, good job we are otherwise it would be a boring world.

I found the tablets I was taking in those day made me feel sleepily in the day and hyperactive at night, I guess these were a few of the side -affects from the old tablets. It's as if you have had an operation and the hospital has let you out right away to find your own way in the world.

The tablets in those days were very powerful and strong, I think I was on the wrong tablets because they were too; my fits have always only been very mild. For eg, Strong tablets are too strong for people who have mild fits, which causes people dangers to themselves and others through no fault of my own, I was totally unaware of what was going on around me. I couldn't sleep at night and I couldn't learn easily in school.  The names of the tablets were called Phenobarbitone. I guess I was taking them three times a day, I think they were about 300mg to 500mg, I may well be wrong.

  

The tablets I used to be Lamotrigine; they were only 100mg which I was taking one twice a day. These tablets were very mild, I didn’t get the same problems as I used to get. I learned a lot better and I was more aware of the world around me.

 Things are not the same as what they were, the world is more educated and trained than what it was years ago but we still have a long way to go. If you come across people experiencing what I have experienced, don't give them a hard time, support them. If they look lost, confused, upset or and they look as if they are in danger, see that they get where they need to get to safety.

 Many people with Epilepsy have said that they have had tests, scans and etc that have been coming back normal but mostly when that happens these people have been having a lot of fits.

If you are supporting anyone with these problems, it can be worrying for them and for you. If at all possible may be you could keep a diary on how the tablets are affecting the person's every day life, may be you can support them to see their doctor or and drop me an email if you need someone to talk to. May be I can try to support you on finding some information, websites, emails, advice and etc. May be it might be a case of changing their tablets or like in my case it was talking me off the tablets altogether. Which ever way it is, you may be able to see a difference in the person's awareness and ability. sarajgorman@gmail.com.

 POSSIBLE SUPPORT.

What doesn't help our behaviour problems is lack of sleep, diet and we feel tense.
We need to cut down on may be salt and sugar for sure because most of us with autism suffer from been hyperactive. If only my family knew in my childhood what they know now, may be everyone would have had some sleep. Going back when I was a child there were many things unknown like many generations before hand.

What people didn't know during in my childhood over twenty year ago, I needed exercise and I needed something to relax me? If you are like how I used to be or you may know someone who is, may be that's the support what's needed for you or and whoever. May be I can look for websites that try to support Autistic children, teenagers, adults, their families and carers if you want me to. If you are supporting and caring for someone with autism in one way or another, you are welcome to contact myself or and Mencap, we could get you on to other places if you want, if our support isn't good enough. You could be a family member, a carer, even a support worker or a friend to them. Please email sarajgorman@gmail.com. Perhaps I can get you some websites, email addresses and etc if you want my support.

I have heard that there are disability nurses in school but I am glad to say that they were there that in my day, sorry I sound really old. It is true how things have changed so much in last twenty to thirty yrs or so. There are also things that never have changed or and even never will.

My weight and height was always checked. I was always too fat or too thin but never Anorexia or obese, or if you know what I mean. I don't think they never knew what eating disorders
were. Perhaps they had heard of Anorexia but not obese. Nine times out ten we are either underweight or over weight, that's all they knew. I think we knew about Anorexia which is under weight but not Obese which is overweight. I believe now that we do know, everyone should have check ups, mainly people with disabilities. Nine times out of ten people with disabilities have health problems so their weight isn't the only thing to think about.

For eg I was hyperactive as a child, I must admit I was to blame there. I did enjoy my sweets, cakes and etc too much. In those days there were very little education given to adults about what's good and bad for people. My family were very good but society didn't really tell them about children who had disabilities at that time. Mind we didn't know a lot about anything in those days.

I'd also be interested to know how adults and teenagers coped with their disabilities years ago. Did they have carers because if they did, there weren't a great of support for the carers either? If you find anything out about the lives of people with disabilities in the past, please drop an email on sarajgorman@gmail.com. Thank you very much if you would like to share stories with me. We can share a lot of our own experiences if you are happy to do so. Something you have read, seen or saw may have caught your eye, which could be something to do with what I write about on this website. If you would like to email me, you can write to me about what you want.

I have told you what happened in my childhood what has changed. What about the things that happened to people with learning disabilities before people like me now were even born? It can be about children, teenagers and adults in those times over any subject. For eg People with disabilities weren't allowed to live alone, I don't think there were support workers to support them. Sadly a lot of them live in homes, hospitals and etc not a lot of their families may not be able to cope with them.

With me it could also have been the heavy tablets I was taking at that time. I couldn't pay attention to anyone or anything in the day but as high as a kite keeping everyone awake at night. I was also suffering bad behaviour problems, which could have been another thing my tablets could be to blame for. Someone else whose suffering the same thing as me as what I did, their affects could be caused by certain foods for eg. May be some people suffer their affects with out their certain medicines and food. Like I have said it would have been a boring world if we would have suffered all the same things. Having said there are other affects as well as behaviour problems, hyperactive, lack of communication and understanding. There other causes of these affects I guess as well as tablets and food. I would be so grateful if someone could send me an email if they found anything, thank you so much.  sarajgorman@gmail.com.

 What do we learn from experiences from the past for the future?
Find out how medicines and foods can affect difference people's health problems and disabilities? Find out why some people have these affects without their certain medicines and foods? A lot of the healthy foods are not payable to peoples’ benefits.
What should we have known and what do we need know about helping people to look after their health problems and disabilities?
All I can think of now is having learning disability nurses should be not only in school but also in colleges and work placements as well. Mind you I think I have seen disabilities nurses in the colleges though. Please drop me an email if you know any information about that, thank you.

More regular check ups, gentle exercise and diet programs to match with the health problems and disabilities.
We need things that help people learning disabilities to relax to be able to cope with the good and bad times in their lives.

  BE AWARE OF Possible SIDE - EFFECTS FROM SOME MEDICATIONS THAT COULD AFFECT YOUR WORK AND EDUCATION.

A lot of people with disabilities like me I'm one of those people who didn't learn anything in school because society wasn't educated to teach people with disabilities. There was a lack of communication and understanding between children and teachers. For eg; I was on this medication called Phenobarbitone for Epilepsy; this affected my ability to learn and I was very disappointed that I left school without any qualifications. A lot of special schools didn't have any access for children with disabilities to take exams when I was in school. I hope things have changed a lot for children with disabilities since I was in school but please keep an eye on side - effects of medication in case they are too dangerous for them! Later on in this site you will read a report on how dangerous Phenobarbitone was.

When I left school, I caught up with my education in college. OK, I achieved my exams but I every September I would enrol on roughly the courses every year without a job at end of it, which went on for years. It became very boring in the end.

 Still better late than never but if more support is given the quicker a person with a disability is in the job they want. Well should I even say that having support helps them along their way quicker so they don’t have to cope with years of discrimination like people of my age group did, before that? We were also very limited to what courses; I was at college well over ten years.

 I enjoyed college but sometimes there was support but other times there wasn't. I thought I was never going to get any support with work. I was signing on for 13 years, I though I was going to be there forever, I hated it. My life has changed a lot for the better since I have been with Our Shout supported by Mencap. All these years of college have been worth it after all. I am still study now but I was for exams when I was at Access 2 Business for the Social Enter Prise Business, which didn’t kick off very long due to Mencap’s funding to support us back in December 2009 to January 2011 is how long it lasted.

 Courses need to be more interesting for people with disabilities. I have read in the report Valuing People now, since I have left college that a lot of courses have cut back for people with disabilities. People like myself were either on training schemes, voluntary work or and the dole. Please give support for people with disabilities to be given better chances than that!

Courses need to be more interesting for people with disabilities. I have read in the report Valuing People now, since I have left college that a lot of courses have cut back for people with disabilities. People like myself were either on training schemes, voluntary work or and the dole. Please give support for people with disabilities to be given better chances than that!

 November 2010 update. 

All people over Britain are suffering cutbacks for everything. When it comes to people with disabilities needing support for everyday skills for eg running a home, then there isn't the money to pay Social Care staff to support them. Families and carers aren't getting any younger so what does the future bring? These cutbacks affect every topic to do with peoples' lives which are affected whether you have disabilities and Health problems or not.

It is more dangerous for people with disabilities to look at the four walls 24 hours a day we need to work and go to college, we will just be depressed otherwise. We need more to life than just keeping our lives and minds busy, we want a career just like you.

If you would like to email me on anything at all, I would be very interested here from  you if it's anything to do with learning disability, meaning family member, carer, parent or a person with a learning disability yourself. You make want to talk about the cutbacks or and learning disability rights. sarajgorman@gmail.com. For people who don't suffer from Anxiety, depression and epilepsy when there’s isn’t any work or anything going these health conditions came come on when people haven't got anything or anyone in their live. For people who have got these health conditions it can make them even worse.

My Story.

  Over the years I have learned that I am just a bit of a slow learner, I'm not thick after all. It's as if society thought I was useless and too much hard work for them to teach me about life. We need to learn at our own speed otherwise we get stressed out and we feel left out to others. I understand every human being suffers with Anxiety but 9 times out of ten people with disabilities suffer with health problems. Having said that too much Anxiety can make anyone ill or and bring health problems on whether you have a disability or not. It would be very helpful if people would have more patience with people with disabilities, we understand, well at least I do that you haven't got all day but tomorrow is another day or whenever another day is. If that's not possible, then I am sorry to say that word again, we need to get the right support and the amount of support that's right for each of us as possible.

This is something that doctors should look into because this does not just accept the whose taking the medication but others around mainly if the medication causes the person to have behaviour problems for example if someone is Moody a lot. Like I say I have written in many reports advising people to except the unaccepted in all people. That means except anything. Some people seem don't in themselves with medication others without. It's all swings and roundabouts.

Even most good things can be stressful for example; taking exams and waiting for exam results is another example even though on the other hand it could get me through life. I am very keen person if I fail I just keep going but despite of the panic it causes me, which is part of disability, I cope somehow. This can happen in any ones' case not just mine.

Back in May 2011, I lost my work with Mencap because the funding was cutting back on the Our Shout Self Advocacy group. From May to December there didn't seem to be anything not even the right courses for me. I got very down in myself having to spend my days at home. I tried to ring different services to get some counselling.

 I just needed someone to talk to before I started having thoughts of wanting to take on my own life. I found very hard to think positive and I found it hard to believe that things would get better again.

 I rang up Healthy Minds then they referred me on to the Crisis team, they were asking me if I was going to take my own life, when and how I was going to do it. I said no I just want some counselling before I felt at that stage then they referred me back to Healthy minds. I even stopped taking my tablets to stop myself from taking an over dose.

For example; Panic attacks can also bring on Epilepsy but then with my disabilities whatever they are for sure. I was born with lack of oxygen to the brain, which caused me to have fits from birth. When I have stress or I think I have things to worry about I panic but sometimes it brings a fit on other times it doesn't.

 This can mainly be when I have been misunderstood or and even confused with something like information for eg; some things can make me panic then get me angry and if I get too upset it may bring on my fits, depending what the situation is and how stressful it is to me. I went 20 yrs without having a fit bit during that time I was working at Camnant a living in riding stable in Newtown Powys Wales. My Boss Miss Coyne thought I was having Petie Mal fits, which I couldn't understand, I wasn't feeling unwell. She had got the doctor to put me on Tregratol tablets without my families say so because she thought I was having Petie mal fits. When were 20 I was so depressed with taking them for no reason I over dosed on the lot but lucky enough as you know I pulled through? My family went mad and got the doctor to take me off them. Most medications can make people depressed which are caused by the side-affects.

 Keeping me busy is very important to me because I can take a long time to get into a new route when things change and I can think bad thoughts during the time there’s nothing is going on in my life. As time went on and I was starting pick I up I went back to doing my poetry. In time I started to go back on courses to building myself back to some kind of work, which is the same field as Mencap near enough, which called 1 Voice and Rethink.

 How these health conditions can affect people and their lives.

People can have these conditions whether they have disabilities or not. Health problems can link to disabilities or be without disabilities.
Anxiety and depression is bad for enough anyone.
 Things can change whether it's good or bad can make people nervous. When some people get nervous they can have Panic attacks but Panic attacks can be brought by other things like for example; stress other reasons or no reason at all like depression.
 Change can be a big thing for of people whether they are nervous about something or someone.

Asperser Syndrome is foam of Autism in people who have high intelligence but it's also a hidden disability, which means people don't see the problems people have. If
you spend a lot of time with us you will learn that we need more help than you thought. Yet we don't have difficulties in languages. Like expect the unexpected
because these disabilities, illnesses, conditions and disorders can affect different
people in different ways. I have found that I have got better than I used to be since
I have got older but it has been a very slow journey but I don't stop believing in myself and others like me.
Some of us like to spend more time alone, others like people round and some of us can feel like I do a bit of both.
We find it hard to understand people's thoughts and feeling, which may seem selfish but then I am better than I used to be.
We behave in a strange manner without been aware but I have found since I have got older I become more worried and more aware of it knowing off people I've known all 
my life have told me.
This can be why we can find hard to make friends but that get better from my experience the more I have been aware of my Autism.

Be also aware of poor eye contract.

Communication Little language, speaking in the same tone, unable to understand meanings of gesture and facial expression, hard to understand jokes, mixing up words like you and I, repeating what they say or and what other people say.
Flapping hands, twirling toes, fixed on the same route round our lives, getting upset by change, sensitive to sound, smell, touch and etc, misunderstanding peoples' thoughts, feelings, actions and etc. Not everyone faces the same all problems so it doesn't make them not Autism depending how many of these problems they do face.

 Cause of Autism is unknown yet although in my case it's unknown whether I do
have Autism or not. I guess I'm more than likely Asperser if I am. 
I guess just before the 21st century there was a case on the news about the MMR injection to protect Measles/ rubella, what I don't understand how can any learning disability a side - affect in any table, injection or any medicines and ect? If I do have Autism it is caused by what I was born lack of oxygen to the brain so I guess it's possible that MMR causes Autism Spectrum if that's the case.