Disability, Mental health other problems, emotional stress and creativelty.

Throughout life, things happen that we can't do anything about but most of us at the time don't want to let go of things which is harder for some people than others., which are most of us face disabilities, other problems, etc. Now a lot of people who don't disabilities and other problems, illnesses etc say Mental health, for example, don't understand why we can't accept even the most basic negative things happening to us like a relationship break up but then even for people who have got disabilities etc, the reasons behind relationship breakups can be more major than others as for those who do face disabilities, etc.

Back in 1997, I had a mental break down over a guy I had been seeing for 2 and a yrs, not only had gone off with someone else but what I wasn't realizing at the time he was mental abusive where he wasn't sure whether he wanted to leave me for her or not, I was aware that he wasn't sure what to do but I had no idea till a counselor told me yrs later he was been mental abusive.  At the time I was madly in love him and didn't want him to leave me but he kept on for so long he was sure what he wanted I just then told him to go with her. At the time it seemed like the hardest thing I had to do but think about it now it shouldn't have been because I feel nothing for him now. Like did realize that there was Couseloring in the college till a friend told me, I understand what that meant at the time and I thought everyone thought I was going mad at the time if I went for it then I went for it about six months later. I could see no light at the end of the tunnel at the time and I felt I wasn't going to get through every day, drinking, smoking heavy etc and I felt like I didn't want to be alive anymore.

However' I'm not sure how but somehow I was still going to my work experience and college but it wasn't easy to focrus etc. However' I lost a fair few work placements for it but I still managed to get through the qualifications I was studying at college so thinking about it I was stronger than I thought was at the time. One I was walking along the college library looking at books etc, I was study English at the time and I'd written some unsuccessful short stories beforehand. I suddenly picked up a John Keats poetry book without thinking about and not really knowing what the book was, who John Keats was etc before I never focus much on books etc due to my dyslexia etc. When read John Keat poems what he had written seemed to connected what I was going through at the time, I then started to realize I wasn't alone and one of his words inspired me to write similar to him. From there, things seemed to become clearer to me and I was starting slowly improve and be more positive in myself. I understand that being creative etc doesn't work for everyone and not everyone get through etc some do. I know at the time of going through emotional stress it's not easy to think it will ever end so I can well understand it works for some not others. It's too easy for someone to say someone you will get through just because they did, but then when I was going through it whatever anyone did or said as much I knew they were trying help I didn't see any way forward. Although I came through I understand it doesn't work for everyone. All we can do there is let them know if they need us we are here but not force help on them. There needs to be more support for those who are facing emotional stress,  Mental break downs etc, some find it harder than others but there least we can do is let them know we are here for them if they want us. What concerns me is that less and less is going into counseling etc for those who wish to go for it. It's not a nice feeling to feel your worthless and you shouldn't be alive like I used to feel, no one should have to feel that way no matter what.