Poetry, short stories and other writings

Interducing myself as a person and writer. Although writer is in the title, I wouldn’t call myself writer because I not published but I have been writing for thirty years now with very little support as a special needs person, I’m nearly fifty - four now. Although, I do have a few qualifications, in creative writing A Way With Words Level one to three and Creative Communication Level one 2 credits, reading, writing and responding in Autobiography and Biography. My Autobiography and short stories, I started writing when I was twenty - three, poetry when I was twenty - seven, through a real ion ship break - up. I have had eleven poems published, one each in eleven books, then nothing else ever since but wrote loads of unpublished poetry ever since and short stories on and off. About me and family. My Mother’s name is Jane and she was not married when she had me so I have her maiden Gorman. My Father’s name is Malcom Marriott, he likes to be called Max rather than Malcom. My parents met in Bowling Alley 1968, which used be In Wolverhampton. My Dad had been chief in the Merchant Navy before he met my Mum, he was twenty -two, and Mum was sixteen. They lasted roughly twelve months then found out I was on in 1969. My moved to Saint Alb-arms in London, then he married. In 1978, my step then was born, then my Dad divorced sometime in the 80s. My Mum has been married twice but neither to my dad but that is okay as it was not to be. I was an only child until I was thirteen, which hated been only child but as my Dad and brother Jay weren’t in my life till I was twenty-one. My Dad did not come back to Wolverhampton till sometime in the eighties before, during or after Dad’s divorce. Holly is my sister from my Mum’s first marriage. My Dad had two children from another relationship Henry and Louise, who sadly both took their own lives in their twenties, Henry was twenty - four and Louise twenty eight. My Nan’s name was Letty. My great grandmother was Elizabeth Kendrick and my great Grandfather was Tom Kendrick. My Nan her daughter, was the eldest of eight, three have died one of them my Nan, five still alive as far as I know. My Nan was eight when the Second World War broke out. My great Grandfather made bombshells and great Granny Liz used to work a sewing factory in Wolverhampton. My Nan looked after her seven brothers and sisters while my great Grandparents worked. My great Grandfather was bald and thin and great Gran was plumb, Bonnie, turned in flame, light blue glasses and a head scarf, short curly hair. It was harder work back then as there were no microwaves, washing machines etc and they had to wash by hand. Money was also tighter. Many houses during the war were back to back with gas or coal fires and no central heating, where cold drafts used to blow up the doors, in the winter time. My great parents were only alive roughly my first five years of my life. I remember walking on my great Grandfather’s garden as I pulled out his plants so he made me my own garden patch. I treated it like a sand pit, as walked in it the one day and got my shoes and socks off, then got stung by a bee on my foot as I screamed and my great Grandad picked me up. My great Gran was a cleaner at the Express & star, she used to take me to work with her I a Silver cross Pram, as she dressed me in bonnets and bows in early seventies. My Mothers’ parents married in 1949, Letty and Ramsey Gorman, my Nan’s maiden name was Kendrick. She met my Grandfather was she was sixteen at dance at the Queen’s Ball room Wolverhampton and married. It was another marriage that ended in divorce. My Nan always said he’d just out the Army, then India and he was tall, dark and handsome but the marriage last twenty years. He was diagnosed schizoaffective, I think so many years before his death but before we were aware, my Gran had faced a bad marriage were he spent every penny in the pubs, betting, etc, always drinking, my Gran faced psychical abuse where my Mum and Aunt, used to cover their faces with the blankets and sheets to the sound of my Nan screaming. My Mum and Aunt had a brother who was born before them Tony who died of German Messes in his throat and fitted on his first birthday, my Uncle would have been about seventy three now, he was born May 1950. My Granddad’s Mum was name Fiall, she was Welsh and his Dad was Irish, his name was George Gorman and his Dad was German, as much as I know. She was from Swami, and he was from Dublin. They married in 1914,the star of world one. He either had business in Wales or the Midlands and met my great Grandmother. I guess Wales, they settled and married in Wolverhampton. My Granddad was the third of twelve. Sara Jane Gorman Mind over matter.  Thinking and thoughts is not seen but it can be heard if said. When being alone it is hard to know if anyone is feeling the same if not similar. Like you are thinking even over thinking in a lonely world, day and night. This can be whether is negative or positive thinking or both. Thinking can get too much it can be hard to sleep. The lights are off and everything is dark and you hear the clock tricking. Your mind is talking to you, over talking, overthinking. To like or love others. To love or and like someone you to like or and love yourself. Believe I am still learning even though I love someone and he loves me, I have friends too. When most people let  you down they put all the blame on you and no blame on themselves. It is human nature that it takes two to tango, we are all human, we all make mistakes but that doesn’t mean we are to blame or and not to blame for everything. Most people think they don’t do anything wrong and someone else does, which is wrong of them. This can take someone a long time to be themselves again. Liking and loving yourself is not vein, it is believing in yourself and being yourself again. With learning to be and the right support meaning people who believe in you, you can bounce back and be that person again you were before the wrong people to you damaged or tried to damage you. Do not give up. This poem well these words are not for me but for everyone. I know it is easy for me to say, what do I know but what I say I mean with all my heart, keep strong and stay live. I know that life can kick you in the teeth so many times, we can all stand up for life and our rights. Do not give up, at times the light can get dark however long or short till it becomes bright, which can happen when you least expect it. It just take time, hang in there, you will never know if you don’t. It is very unlikely I am wrong but I am not saying I am right either. I am not lying to be sure to promise either that everything is going to be alright but I believe in your strength and you to stay alive.

Railway ticket change

My name is Sara Jane Gorman, I am special needs and I face Anixety and Depression. I am learning disability and mental health awareness trainer. Like most of us, I woke up to find on the news, if I havent misunderstood about all if not most railway ticket offices are closing. The change will be if I am right ordering our tickets online, where not everyone knows how, mainly vunable people such as the disabled and eldely people. It's understandable that there cannot be IT courses in everything no one knows completely everything IT, however' I understand there maybe some positves as well negative the change where most people face postives and negatives, other may say one or the other, feel free to tell your views, experince etc, which may you or and someone you support, care for etc. However'if you are commenting on be half of someone, make sure have their permission, if they say no or say one or the other dont comment on their behalf. In the west Midlands, the disabled people have three disabled bus passes and we can travel by rail, bus and tram around the West Midland but no further. I am sure how pension bus passes work. In the week we can travel three from half past night, Saturday all day, not sure about other parts of the UK though. It is not possible to suit everyone's needs but accessabity needs to improve, the only way to learn that is find out from those who face the difficulties. This is example other things too such as most shops that self service, cash machines etc most people may stuggle as much as they have their positives too for most people.

Lilly’s point of view

Lilly Lewis’s story. I started my life journey when I was born in over Penzance Cornwall in 1918. My parents and Mum’s sister Aunty Mary and her husband Uncle Bill moved to Yorkshire.I was twelve when my parents Mavis and Robert Lewis died only in their early thirties in horse and carriage accidents. Uncle Bill died of a heart attack forty years after Mum and Dad did. From there I raised my brother Bob and my sister Ellie. We all has to go out to school, work, shop, cook for ourselves, each other’s etc. It was hard work but also good fun being together. We were in and out to orphanage though. I traveled to Harts-head Yorkshire to care for my ill Aunt Mary and help with the domestic side of running a school near where she lives. We spent so much time travel here there and everywhere on the horse and carriage, passing hills and valleys, land beaches etc from Cornwall to Yorkshire. It was such a lovely adventure. It was 1942, I was just having a coffee in a cafe one day. Unexpectedly I got chatting to a handsome young man named Sam Brown. As time went on we started seeing one another more. He was telling me about the army and his life in World War Two. As time went on, we fell in love, married in 1945, just as the war ended. We then moved to our first home in Nottinghamshire, then had our first child Tim in 1947, Caroline in 1950, Katie1954, Hanna in 1960. We had our honeymoon in Country Down, Ireland. Sam knows more about his family before him than I do about mine as my parents died so young but Aunt Mary said my grandma May died after my Mum’s birth and My Grandad died in a mining accident when she was six months pregnant with my mom, that’s much as Aunt Mary knew. The house where my parents raised me, Bob and Ellie when we were babies and young children, it was what was then back to back house. I always remember, Mum always had a tea pot on the table, which was an old wooden table, opening coal fire to cook and keep warm; whistling kettle, pots, pans etc.

Editing tough times

Tough times My name is Alice Brown, I was born in 1896 in Nottingham , and I was an orphan as a child. I had four brothers and one sister, Tom, Albert, Edward, John and Elise, we were all separated orphans in different orphanages so I was told. They were very strict, little food and money was tight. My Mum married Harry after my Dad died so she put me into orphanage. I never knew my step brothers and sisters but my Mum used to write me letters. She put me in orphanage because my real Dad wasn’t alive, I couldn’t see why that was a problem and I can’t now. By the time I was fourteen to seventeen, I worked fourteen hours a day in a warehouse. It was 1913, on a very cold winter’s November’s evening. I was sitting on a street corner staring into space and freezing cold. I was wearing a grey ragged dress, very thin cotton. Suddenly I noticed a very blond haired man coming towards me, wearing a scarify black jacket and trousers. We talked all night long as he gave me his jacket to put which was miles too big for me. His name was Fred Brown. Fred was bought up be his Father single handed as his Mother Joyce died very young. His Dad was a miner in Nottinghamshire. George married again to a lady named Elizabeth and they had Fred’s step brother Bill. Both George and Elizabeth died when Fred was twelve and Fred raised Bill until he could look after.ok himself. It was a hot summer in 1918, when me and Fred married. He became a coal mine. I was carrying my first baby boy Sam. Me and Fred were looking forward to the future together, then a couple years later I had Richard, he was 10Ibs born, his hair was white blond as snow and bright blue eyes. When he got to six months old, he couldn’t stop smiling and laughing. We tried our hardest to give our children the best childhood we could, which we would anyway but mainly because neither or Fred’s childhood was very good. Matthew was born in 1925, he had very thick jet black hair, he looked like as if he came out of the coal mines with his Father, when I had him. He was a very greedy little boy. In school he made paper out of machete. Painted it green and red, he licked the paint as he pulled a funny face. We were all laughing and crying at the same time. Life was so happy for all of us until Fred died twelve months later in a mining accident. There was an explosion as his body was found in the pits. I married Arthur but no was I doing the same to my children what my Mum did to me, having me orphanage because my Father died and she married Hi my name is Sam Brown Alice and Fred’s son. In the end Mum struggling to cope with out Dad, it was awful, as I was the eldest, I raised my brothers Richard and Matthew, Richard raised Matthew when Richard was fourteen, when I joined the army at eighteen. When I came out the army at twenty one, I unexpectedly met the I fell in love with to be my wife her name was Lilly. Me and Lilly fell in love on the Yorkshire Moors where we met, then she came to Nottingham to train as a nurse in the Second World War. She moved into my late Mother’s house while I was at war looking after my young brothers Richard and Matthew. she had raised her brothers and sisters too when Ron and Elise had died when Lilly was twelve. Lilly was born and bred Yorkshire. Lilly never went to school, she was educated at home and she went down the mines when she was five years old. At age of seven she was sweeping the chimneys and sixteen till eighteen she was a kitchen maid. Lilly’s brother Bob married a lady who was also named Lilly, he was the last of their family to marry after, Lilly’s uncle Richard died who was Lilly Mum Ellie’s brother. Sooner the war was over in 1945, me and Lilly married. I was son Tim, three daughters, Caroline, Katie and Hana. Alice Brown daughter of Anne Brown, real Father known, married to Anne Brown died before Alice’s youngest brother Tom’s birth, then he wasn’t spoken about as she was meeting Harry. Henry Anne’s bother, unknown parents, Henry was the third of a family of ten, Anne was the eldest. Alice’s sisters Catherine and Elizabeth. Arthur was Anne’s second husband Alice’s stepfather. Alice married Fred Brown, had Sam, Richard and Matthew. Sam married Lilly Lewis, had Tim, Caroline, Katie and Hana. Lilly’s family, Father Robert Lewis, Mother Mavis Edwards. Lilly had brother named Bob, they were orphaned after her parents’ young death, which happened when she was five years of age as she was sent to the mines then workhouse from there. parents only just turned thirty. Alice’s point of view My Mother Annie was walking through the streets of London, it was a freezing cold stormy winter’s night and she started to be in labor with youngest brother Tom. It was 7.00pm, November 1918. She was dressed in black rags and her hair was like yellow straw. She was calling for help. “ Help”! She didn’t see very clearly who was about as she shone her candle light, bright because it was so dark. Anne was soaked right through with the rain, which was causing the candle light to kept going out. Her brother Henry was riding his pony and trap, he was going so fast, he didn’t see her or hear her calling. “Henry stop”! As the wind was blowing wild, the rain was coming down buckets, Anne was getting more wetter. She was shivering and she was staring a cold, in minutes, my died and gave birth at the same time, as a passer managed to deliver Tom, put him under his black over coat. Lucky his home was just a step away as he took Tom inside and called the doctor. She gave birth on the wet grass. No one knew who my Dad was and Mum never spoke of him, he died when was carry, my step brothers and sisters are Mum’s second Husband Harry’I never knew about me. Harry, who sadly died after Tom was born, before Harry had the chance to see him, how unlucky was that? Tom was so like Harry very laid back sort of a person but as soon as Tom grew up and left home no one heard anything off. Last time I saw Tom, we sadly had a row, over him not giving me enough money to cover his food, which he took very personal. He was eighteen, he huffed and puffed and went to his room, never came down. He was still there when we went to bed but when we got up the next morning, he had gone without a word, none of us saw him since. We got to the point of calling the police, it turned out in the end he was no where to be seen in Nottinghamshire to be seen, we think he may had gone back to London but we decided not to look any further because we didn’t want him to feel forced to come back to us. Me and Fred decided to move ourselves the family to Nottinghamshire because every time I saw Board Street, it remind me of the night my Mum died. Also, Fred’s Mine job was slightly higher wages in Nottinghamshire than it was in London, strangely. Catherine the fourth and Elizabeth was the fifth of the family. I was told from my step brothers and sisters that, Harry was well educated, he was very good as such subjects as psychology, sociology, and others similar. Yet he used to sweep chimneys as a boy, farmed, worked down the mines, factories etc, which a poor way of earning a living. Sam’s point of view. My Uncle Henry told me Mum was raised by his Dad, Uncle Harry who was Mum’s step. No one has ever known who Mum’s real Dad was. Mum never spoke of the man, by a guess he died when Nana Anne was pregnant with Mum. I think Mum told me that Nana Anne was only late teens early twenties when she had Mum. Our Nan never told my Uncles and Aunts that they had a sister who was their Mum’s child too or that she had been married before and he died. Least our Mom was honest with all of us, we all knew our real Father Fred and Dad died. I was ten when my real Dad Fred died and thirteen when Mum married Arthur. Mum had the guts to bring Arthur into the family to join all us, no matter ever would have happened. Arthur wasn’t my best mate and I don’t think of him as Dad but I didn’t dislike him at all. Don’t get me wrong, I miss the person he was even as much as. I miss my Mum. He was easy to get along with. I will be honest to say me and him had as many fall outs if not more as much as me and my Dad did but not bad for me to want him out our lives. Mum met Arthur at a dance when we moved to Nottinghamshire. Lilly was panicking because, it was 7.00pm, she had been cooking and cleaning for hours. Mum was ninety - three at the time, naturally she was starting to get lost and confused with herself, Arthur wasn’t much older either, he was around ninety -seven. However’ she hadn’t been the same for years since she heard about Uncle Tom being born when my Gran was die-ing. Getting to the point, Mum and Arthur had disappeared without a word and we were concerned about their safety. We had not seen them since that morning and dinner was almost ready. Lilly put all meals in the oven to keep hot. Tim: I will take the pony and trap to look for Nan and Arthur. We were all debating with worry. My son Tim didn’t get back till 1.00am but no Mum and Arthur. Suddenly they came back but they didn’t stay long as she kept on going over the past but it was possible not all she could remember correctly. For example her saying she raised her nine brothers and sisters, which wasn’t true. Nan put her into opharnage. Then she would change story by saying she was an opharn

Joanne’s point of view

Dan was an only child, no brothers and sisters but my brother Jack and sister Lucy were grown up by the time I was at Seniors. Dan’s Dad was heavy drinker who drank the money and not a very nice man either Dan’s Mum had to work very long hours in a sewing factory to make ends meet. His Dad was a press Operator at a food factory. Mandy and Earn were there names. They both smoked Woodbines. My Dad, died when my mum Lin was carry me, my brother and sister were just getting close to leaving school, now they are in their seventies and I’m fifty. My Mum lived to be eighty and my Dad was forty. As our years in Senior school went on, we were two teenagers in love back in the 1960s. Every spring and summer me and Dan would spend time together in Saint James park. Having picnics and even playing in the park like wild kids, which we were but old enough to know better, every Saturday afternoon. One Saturday afternoon, we were in our normal sun braving spot, which was private but not too shady. What we didn’t realize for a while that Lee, was doing just what he wanted to achieve, the cheeky devil, which we never knew he wanted to do such a thing at that, even though we knew he did things up to no good in other ways. Honestly I had no idea he was so jealous neither did Dan. Me and Dan were chatting away as I was suddenly awake of someone up in the tree with a pair of binoculars. I had no idea who it was neither did Dan, until we heard the sound of Lee’s laugh. Soon as I realized it was him, I put on blue tee shirt over my pink binik pretty quick. “ My word, who is that on the tree, Dan”? “Where, Joanne”? “Right in front of us, Dan”. Lee laughed, “Oh my goodness, Joanne, it is Lee spying on here, what cheeky devil”! As climbed down the tree soon he realized he was caught. Dan was going to speak to him but he soon ran off soon as he heard Dan and Joanne speak. This time Lee didn’t even inform Mr Johns about the bird project, little did me or Dan realized, Lee a a picture of me in the picnic sport. As me and Dan were busy chatting and there was a lot of noise around in the background people chatting. We didn’t even hear the flash of his camera. On another Morning,Lee had the nerve to tell Mr Johns, about his event to Saint James park on that Saturday afternoon, he showed Mr Johns a photograph. “ Here is a pink tit bird, sir”. Even then myself and Dan didn’t give it a single thought. Suddenly, Mr John said. “ Joanne, can I have a word in private, please”? As we stood outside the classroom. “Do you know Lee, took this picture of you”. I looked, I had no ideas, I couldn’t he’d do such thing and felt so embarrassed, mainly the fact he showed, Mr Johns, how disrespectful, him taking a picture of me in a pink blini. “Just a word of advice, young lady, no business of mine what you do at weekends but public places are not ideal for floating about a bindi”. “Yes sir, sorry sir”. “No problem, just thinking about you, that’s all”. As we returned back inside class, Mr Johns said. “ Deans, detention and lines tonight”. “No Sir, Why Sir”. “Yes, Deans, you know very well why”. As Lee pulled a face, he acted very spoiled. During that detention, Lee had a warning from Mr Johns, that he would be expelled if he behaved in such a way again, which didn’t seem to bother him at the time. I’m not saying I was a good girl but I wonder what Lee grew up to be. Not that I should but I have no clue how he did in his exams. On the Friday of that week, when I came into school, Dan wasn’t in school, he had a twenty - four hour bug. He wasn’t sure but he thought the steak and kidney pie the night before at the chip shop caused it. Therefore Lee thought it was his birthday with Dan not there. There lies he was coming out with were so unreal. I knew they weren’t true. He doesn’t fancy me, he just wants what Dan has got. He asked me to meeting him at the end to come and plus he said he saw Dan kissing my best friend Jane Mills. Was it true or not? Yet to continue.

punishment

Mr Robert Johns was a bald man about fifty at the time. I admit I was checking little Chappy in those days, I think I played him up something rotten in those days, telling him I wanted to do a bird project when really I was telling everyone else I was spicing on Joanne but I was not, as Dan said him and Joanne were only friends. whether they got together or not, no one knows to this day. I came into school on the Monday morning, giving Mr Johns a brown paper bag that I wrote pink tit bird on. “ Pink tit, bird Deans I have never heard of that one before”. “No sir”. As I was dieting to laugh”. He gave me a bird project book and said to me. “ see if there a pink tit bird in there Deans, I doubt there is such a bird”. I looked. “ well Dean is there one, I will be surprised if there is one”. I must have gone through the book about ten times. “ Come on Deans with, you there’s no such bird is there”? I not surprisedly, went quite, as I was shaking in my shoes as I saw how angry he was as he stuck out the Cain. I wouldn’t dare tell my Mother, she’d hit me to kingdom come. Bang, as he throw the board rubber across the room and he made me do lines in detention. I must not tell lies.

lee Dean’s side of the story

I started off telling story back in 1960. The writer Sara Jane Gorman started writing about me, Joanne, Dan, Mr Johns and Miss Cane, who is based on Miss Coal. Miss Coal probably wasn’t old but she looked. she still saw her curly permed hair, cracked wrinkled face, dog checked coat brown and cream. She was probably about 50sh at the time looking like 90. She fine it hard to get out her head. It was looks that gave her nightmares and flashbacks. Thinking about it she probably wasn’t as bad as Sara thinking back after all these years. She mostly taught needle work, maths and English. Needle work wasn’t Sara’s greatest skill, where she struggled to thread needles due to her Dyspraxia, which was unaware of back then. These ideas in Sara’s life inspired her The Bird Watcher who Spices. she’s wrote so many drafts on and off, she’s wrote so many drafts over years. It was watching Grange Hill as a kid what inspired her and also her own school days. For thirteen years the writer was a only child. Her old School teacher Miss Coal told her off for writing made up stories in her rough book when she should have writing about she done over the weekend and school holidays. Thoughts kept running through Sara’s head about me, Joanne, Mr Johns and Miss Cane. Miss Cane was forty two at the time, she looked more ninety - two. However’ Dan thought I had bad taste, he was probably right looking back but for some reasons I thought there was something about her but I wasn’t sure what. I couldn’t keep my mouth shut, as she dumped me for telling everyone. Come to think about it who can blame her? Back then I had a mind of a teenage boy, now I have a mind of a fifty year old, which Miss Cane well of been my age now, then thinking about it. What was I? Roughly about third teen to sixteen. When I think about it, doesn’t seem normal sure a young lad feeling that way about what I saw back then an old woman. No matter what, I wouldn’t be like that towards a girl that young today, as young as I was when I feel for Miss Cane. Her short permed grey permed curly hair, her cracked wrinkled face was no beauty but there was something about her to this day, I don’t know why, I was watching to fall in love with her. Yet I thought Joanne deserved better than Dan, whereas now not sure if they got together or even still together. Not seen them for years. She was a studier. I told the story of the Bird Watcher who spices for the last thirty years or so. As in my young teenage I saw her in a pink bikini, which would have situated her well By the way Dan was mostly a Beatles fan and honestly he looked well like John Lennon in the time of the 60s. Dan liked Mick Jagger and The Rolling Stones but not as much as me. The same with the Beatles, I liked the Beatles but not as much as Dan did. I was the Mick Jagger and Rolling Stones fan, as even now I still have his hair style and rubber lips. It’s hard to believe, we were only kids of eleven starting Senior school at Saint Albans London. Joanne Evans and Dan Richards bond together, sat together on next together, naturally in the same class. John Lennon believed in peace not war so did Dan and Joanne. Dan was very good in history, maths, English in school, I wasn’t, I was more of a sporty person, neither Joanne or Dan were sporty but I felt I was very much on my own but I don’t think I was, thinking back now. Dan couldn’t sing but he was a great writer and artist so was Joanne. One Friday, Dan wasn’t in school as he had a twenty four hour tummy bug, from steak and kidney pie from the chippy the night before. How naughty was I? I thought it was a great chance to try and get in with Joanne but she weren’t having it, I thought she was playing hard to get but how wrong was I? I don’t blame when I think about it now. That sound of the bell at the end of play time was alarming. Who does that to their best mate? Only I could have been so foolish but she was such beauty. Dan was an only child, no brothers and sisters but my brother Jack and sister Lucy were grown up by the time I was at Seniors. Dan’s Dad was heavy drinker who drank the money and not a very nice man either Dan’s Mum had to work very long hours in a sewing factory to make ends meet. His Dad was a press Operator at a food factory. Mandy and Earn were there names. They both smoked Woodbines. My Dad, died when my mum Lin was carry me, my brother and sister were just getting close to leaving school, now they are in their seventies and I’m fifty. My Mum lived to be eighty and my Dad was forty.