Here's the early poems I wrote.
My lover has gone forever, my history fellow.
It is time to make up your mind so know whether to move on in my life or not.
It's time to make up my mind.
It's time to live my life to make up my time.
It's time to empty my mind.
I am yours and you are mine.
Now let's have a great time.
Time to go away; I will be back in a few days. 1997 - 2000
To love each other for one another.
We need to take things slowly.
To look at each other and know it's right. 25.4.2002
Our love is far long and too strong to let go of one another.
I have got to know you far too well.
When you broke my heart the pain hurt too hard to talk about.
I treasured the happy memories of having spent happy times together.
Now you are making me happier than you did before.
I used to put on a brave face to show the world I was strong enough to be without you.26.4.2002
Life without you.
After so long together it's been so hard been apart.
I missed you so much and I have known you far too long to carry on being apart from you.
When I look at you very close, I know that I had been hiding my love for you so long. 26.4.2002
Although our love is ended can we please be very close friends?
Even thought we have caused one another so much pain, why can't we be close friends.
The tears I have cried are very hard to explain but it's time to move on to be with the people we really love and be happy.
One must bare the pain the best way because things will never be the same again.
Why make ourselves unhappy by bringing things back how were because we won't win?
We have tried so hard to love one another as lovers it just has not worked the way we wanted it to.
My ring will be on my finger until the day I die.
Heaven will be the place I love again.
Close friends is how you and I will stay forever more. Written September 1997.
No matter what we have put each other through when we were lovers, why can't we be best of friends?
I still love you but as a best male friend.
I can never forget the pain we put one another through.
Life is too short to full out and carry on feeling sad, I am willing to look you in the eye and forget the past.
No matter what happened I find it hard to hate you.
Even if we broke each others' hearts, there’s no hard feeling on my part.
All I want us to be is best of friends, is that far too much to ask?
Through all the time I've known you I have always loved you in anyway you wanted me to.
I was once your lover now we know that it did not work, may be we will be better off as best of friends. 27.2.1999
The mistakes I have made are real through my break down when I was 27.
For nearly twelve mouths I was a very heavy drinker.
I drank like a fish seven days and nights a week, shame on me.
I mixed with the wrong people who got me into bother with my drinking but I cut it down when I was ready to.
I caused rows with my family, drank heavy behind and got into rows with other people round me.
I spend all the time worrying about everything.
As soon as I started writing poetry that when I cut down drink I feel more anger about us been apart.15.9.99
Please make my day by coming back to me.
You have pleased me in a lot of ways before.
I hope I have pleased you before: whether you have or not I am pleased to be your girl.
You pleased for the kind of gentleman you were but what's happened to you now?
You will please me even more if you give me a surprise knocking at door.
I wish you will love me forever more.
Please write me a letter!
Please give me a call?
Please at least ask how I am?
This is too much for a woman to ask a man.
Why have you destroyed my heart and leave me so sad and blue?
You played into me because you knew I loved you and you know I still do.
It's so hard to believe what life would be without you, mainly when I am alone and you are with her.
He is just a poor confused man who does not know what he wants in life.
He is a gentle, loving and caring gentleman.
He gave and took the best he could.
I am more grateful with what he had done for me in two and a half years.
He used to be a romantic wild red rose so now that's the best he goes.
Flowers on every birthday card he send me he chose.
He used to make me feel like the lady of his life.
I loved his smile that made my love for him worth while.
He used to be a very wise man.
He gave me so much love that I can't believe that anyone else could replace.
The love I had for him I treasure by my lonely heart.
I know life is life but I wish we were sharing love together in our hearts.
Now those days are over, my heart has to cope with happiness, laughter, joy sadness and tears.
Happy history is not forgotten to me, it's worth being alone until I can move on to love someone better, new and get rid of all the pain I am going through. Written 1997.
Forget the rain and the clouds.
Forget the frost, fog, sleet and snow.
What about the green grass covered in daffodils?
What about a few green leaves on the trees?
What about being warm instead of cold?
What about the bright yellow sun in the deep blue sky?
If that was the case, may are we will be less depressed.
When Christmas is here life is a mess and come January, many people are in debt.
That's when life is not at its best. December 2006
When I am walking outside I wish there were some magic powers to make me disappear up in heaven if there is any such name and place.
Please take me away from this depressing earth?
I would have wings on my arms and flippers on my feet, then up and away I would go.
What will be there for me? Who knows?
I want to run away and hide from the world
I want to say goodbye to earth.
I want to run away from the same old things everyday.
Find a place to hide and die.
If I carry on living in this world I won't be happy because it is depressing towards everyone. December 2006.
When I feel down, I can't be bothered with anything at all.
I can feel down whether I have a reason to or not but not all the time.
I just want to get away from the four walls.
The end of my life seems so far away, how much longer do I have to stay?
I want to live to be old but only when I feel happy again. December 2006
Look at the cold, dull and gray sky that depresses us more!
In the winter the day turns to night far too early. Light turns to dark.
When I go out it's a long way to walk through those block of flats to the bus stop.
Those flats seem a long way when it's dark when I come back home at night.
There are very few street lights as you walk through the dark alleys where you turn right. December 2006
You just don't show love towards me anymore.
Never mind I get paid tomorrow as you seem to want to rid of me.
I may have enough money to buy myself a beer tomorrow night.
I hope to get a job next year and may be a bit of cash one day. December 2006.
If I end my time.
I don't like heights.
I don't like knives.
I like water but not tablets or pill but less painful way to die.
I don't mind what happens to my body as long as I am in peace not pain. December 2006.
It's so easy to take it out on other people.
There are good times and bad.
You are our loving friends.
Your Mum told me not to let you get to me, even though you were biting my head off.
At the time I was going out of my mind I could not stand to be alive.
I think I had a very bad break down, you having gone off with her hurt me so much.
I must be mad to have you back but I love you so much.
I should not go back to you really but I love you too much not to.
Slowly I knew you will hurt me and break my heart again.
To my lover and my best friend.
When we were lovers.
What a kind sweet gentleman he used to be.
Whatever has happened to us?
He was full of love, happiness and joy to be.
He used to be a lovely gentleman and boy.
He still has lovely brown eyes.
People think he has lost his mind.
People think he's gone blind.
Now that I have lost him, I am very weary who I find.
What if they don't replace the love I lost?
Where's the man's voice that made me laugh?
Where's his handsome face that made me smile?
Where's the touch of his arms?
Where's the touch of his charm?
Where's the man who walked me home in the dark and the rain.
Where's the man I'd dreamt about in my sleep without a doubt.
Where's the man who beauty me every time he looked at me. written 1997
My lover has gone forever.
I feel lonely without Tony Romany.
Is everything going very slowly?
Sadly enough I won't be able to love Tony Romany ever again.
Isn't he a dear fellow, feeling under the weather? written 1997.
I love the sea.
The beach and the sea is a romantic place to be.
I love the sun shining and rising over the deep blue sea with a lovely yellow sun set.
I think it's the place to be.
I love the yellow sand; it's lovely to lovely
love the yellow sand; it's lovely to lovely make sand castles with children by the sea.
I love the sun shining and rising over the deep blue sea with a lovely yellow sun set.
I think it's the place to be.
I love the yellow sand; it's lovely to lovely make sand castles with children by the sea. 1997 - 2000
I try to be romantic.
I try to be romantic, that's the way I want to be.
If it's not right for women to be romantic I won't be, I will only show my feelings out in poetry.
My feelings towards someone who means a lot to me yet I don't mean a lot to him anymore, he loves another woman.
He hurt me very badly.
I can't help the way I am I was born to be soft and romantic yet I can't help who I fall for either.
He may well rip my heart into a thousand pieces yet I love him like there's no other man on this earth.
Now I find it hard to stop writing poetry as my feelings are uncontrolled.
Believe me that man was not as special as I made him out to be in this poem, I only thought he was. How blind was he not to understand how much I loved him but how blind was I to not understand that he did not really love me?
Then we may have just loved one another as much as we could. We were both blind in our ways in our minds. written 1997.
If only I knew if you are right or wrong for me.
From the day I first met you I thought you were the right person for me.
You left me sad, lonely and blue.
You know it's true that even now I still love you but you don't feel the same way anymore.
I don't understand why I still love someone who has not got the time a day for me.
Sometimes I feel like locking myself away in my bedroom and never coming out but other times I feel lonely.
Live in the bedroom with a kettle, food, toilet but I need to cut down on myheavy drinking.
Not seeing the world again to get away from pain is how I feel.
I don't feel very strong at all, there doe not see to be an end to all this but there must be an end to pain somewhere and somehow.
Surly I can't keep on feeling depressed like this, there's got to be light at the end of the tunnel somewhere.
All I do is write romantic poetry about you; it shows how mad and crazy I am about you which make me mad and crazy when you don't feel the same about me.
How strange is that?
I feel ashamed to love someone who does not love me but my feelings have so much control over me.
There must be someone better out who loves me for me but I find it hard to believe that I will love him because foolishly my feelings are still with you.
Not seeing the world again to get away from pain is how I feel.
I must love the wrong man, what is it about love it just blinds you?
Now you have gone, I must move on I must carry on without you.
It's hard to do because I miss you so true.
Everywhere I stand I see lovers kissing and hugging everyday.
They must think I have lost my way. Written 1997.
I wrote this poem to say I love you.
I wrote this poem to say I love you whatever you have put you have put me through.
I must be mad to have you back but I still love you, don't you dare hurt me again because you won't get another chance.
I thought I stopped loving at one point but that's too hard to do.
One day we looked into one another eyes but we have known one another too long to say no.
There's only so much I can take, if hurt me again I will break.
If you hurt me again you will be full of regrets because I can't keep giving chances when it suits you to love me again.
Think this through carefully because one day I could be with someone who sticks to his word, who does not mess around like you do.
If I meet this person it will be too late for you to change your mind.
I'd be sure about your feelings if I were you and stick to my word. written 2001
Tell me why you left me?
Tell me why you made me cry?
Tell me why you left me?
Did you just make one silly mistake?
I must be mad to take you back.
You must have known you hurt me really bad.
It will take me a while to get my trust back you again but my love is still there for you.
I wish I did not love you then I would worry in case you hurt me again but my love for you is far too strong to let go of you. written 2001
I love you but you hurt me so.
Every day for four years, it all seemed dull and dark.
I found it so hard to move on.
I cried my eyes out when you left me.
I remember the day you met me.
I hope you won't leave me anyone, if you do I am out the door.
I won't ever come back anymore.
So don't give me a call.
I'll miss you again but I will have to stop myself from getting hurt.
I hope one day I will meet someone who loves me for me and doesn't hurt me. 2001 onwards.
Every day for four years, it all seemed dull and dark.
I found it so hard to move on.
I cried my eyes out when you left me.
I remember the day you met me.
I hope you won't leave me anyone, if you do I am out the door.
I won't ever come back anymore.
So don't give me a call.
I'll miss you again but I will have to stop myself from getting hurt.
I hope one day I will meet someone who loves me for me and doesn't hurt me. 2001 onwards.
Heat.
Please remain that old flame.
Please don't give me the main blame.
Now the cards have been laid on the table, our love has failed.2000
Please remain that old flame.
Please don't give me the main blame.
Now the cards have been laid on the table, our love has failed.2000
It is time to make up your mind so know whether to move on in my life or not.
It's time to make up my mind.
It's time to live my life to make up my time.
It's time to empty my mind.
I am yours and you are mine.
Now let's have a great time.
Time to go away; I will be back in a few days. 1997 - 2000
You will always find.
I think about you all the time.
You are always on my mind.
Every single time.
This a long song
bong bong.
Our love is with us here forever my dear. 1997 -2000 onwards.
I think about you all the time.
You are always on my mind.
Every single time.
This a long song
bong bong.
Our love is with us here forever my dear. 1997 -2000 onwards.
You were there; you'd gone; now you have come back.
We were far too young; we fell in love far too young.
We looked at each other and we knew it was love.
Two and years were long for me to feel as if I belonged to you.
Four years of sadness and falling love with someone who I did not even love.
We need to act like adults instead of children.
The door was closed for so long; we never thought the door would open again.
We never thought we'd let one another in again.
We suddenly knew that we had loved one another too long to let go of one another. 26.5.2002
We were far too young; we fell in love far too young.
We looked at each other and we knew it was love.
Two and years were long for me to feel as if I belonged to you.
Four years of sadness and falling love with someone who I did not even love.
We need to act like adults instead of children.
The door was closed for so long; we never thought the door would open again.
We never thought we'd let one another in again.
We suddenly knew that we had loved one another too long to let go of one another. 26.5.2002
I never felt the same without you.
Walking around the town alone I’m so bored out my head.
I used to think to go to pubs getting drunk out my head, I could not even stand on my own two feet I was that drunk, and you broke my heart so much.
I told your Mum that I would have stop coming down, it was hard facing you in the same room knowing that you did not love me anymore and that you were with her.
Your Mum told me to take no notice of you even though you were biting my head off. I could not stand anymore but.
If it had not been for your Mum telling me not to stop coming you won't have seen me again let a lone get back together.
As much as I like your Mum, has her advice made me a stronger person or not?
I know she likes me but I know we are always going be on and off until things go bang!
Walking around the town alone I’m so bored out my head.
I used to think to go to pubs getting drunk out my head, I could not even stand on my own two feet I was that drunk, and you broke my heart so much.
I told your Mum that I would have stop coming down, it was hard facing you in the same room knowing that you did not love me anymore and that you were with her.
Your Mum told me to take no notice of you even though you were biting my head off. I could not stand anymore but.
If it had not been for your Mum telling me not to stop coming you won't have seen me again let a lone get back together.
As much as I like your Mum, has her advice made me a stronger person or not?
I know she likes me but I know we are always going be on and off until things go bang!
When you saw me, you had no interest in me what so ever.
When I walked out of your Mum's door I felt so small.
Now you love me again, I hope the pain has gone forever and for good.
Keep hold of me, there may come a day I may not love you anymore, I may not feel the same towards you as I do now, and it’s only love that has bought me back to you!
What goes around comes around; I treat you like you treat me. 26.5.2002
Now you love me again, I hope the pain has gone forever and for good.
Keep hold of me, there may come a day I may not love you anymore, I may not feel the same towards you as I do now, and it’s only love that has bought me back to you!
What goes around comes around; I treat you like you treat me. 26.5.2002
Stronger love.
I can trust that you won't hurt me again.
Our love is stronger whatever goes on.
I don't enjoy having epilepsy, it makes it hard for me to lead my life but I will manage somehow.
I don't let my condition put a hold on my life.
My condition may have bought us close together but then I hope it does not slit us apart.
I don't want to lose you again.
At the end of the day we always get on great.
You’re my best friend as well as my lover.
My darling let's work hard at this after we have both been through already.
We will get through the good and bad together.26.5.2002
I can trust that you won't hurt me again.
Our love is stronger whatever goes on.
I don't enjoy having epilepsy, it makes it hard for me to lead my life but I will manage somehow.
I don't let my condition put a hold on my life.
My condition may have bought us close together but then I hope it does not slit us apart.
I don't want to lose you again.
At the end of the day we always get on great.
You’re my best friend as well as my lover.
My darling let's work hard at this after we have both been through already.
We will get through the good and bad together.26.5.2002
I thought you had gone for good.
I thought about you all the time as tears came down my eyes.
I missed the man who made me laugh with his brown eyes and cheeky face.
You have got such lovely ways.
The pain you gave me cut me into like a knife going through me when you were not with me.
In time I had to get on with my life, I would have stopped alone not excepting you to come back.
I was not going to come back or wait for you otherwise I could have been waiting forever or never.
When I looked at you again, I knew I knew you too well.
I looked at that cheeky face.
I could not help but love you.
No matter how much you hurt me, I found it hard to hate you.
It seemed so long I thought you would come back.
I was more than surprised that you did. 26.5.2002
I thought about you all the time as tears came down my eyes.
I missed the man who made me laugh with his brown eyes and cheeky face.
You have got such lovely ways.
The pain you gave me cut me into like a knife going through me when you were not with me.
In time I had to get on with my life, I would have stopped alone not excepting you to come back.
I was not going to come back or wait for you otherwise I could have been waiting forever or never.
When I looked at you again, I knew I knew you too well.
I looked at that cheeky face.
I could not help but love you.
No matter how much you hurt me, I found it hard to hate you.
It seemed so long I thought you would come back.
I was more than surprised that you did. 26.5.2002
True love.
After all these years my love for you is far too strong to let go.
It's too hard getting use to being apart from you.
Now I have to get use to living without your love. 25.4.2002
After all these years my love for you is far too strong to let go.
It's too hard getting use to being apart from you.
Now I have to get use to living without your love. 25.4.2002
To my lover and my best friend.
To love each other for one another.
We need to take things slowly.
To look at each other and know it's right. 25.4.2002
Love verse.
If only we could be happy together.
You keep blowing hot and cold on me.
To know that love is not a bed of roses.
If only we could find it easy to talk one another these days, we always used to. What has gone wrong?
To keep things private bet ween one another.
Talk about it if or and when you are ready to.
We always used to have very special bond together but we don't anymore.
Not to care what people say?
No one can take it away from you other than yourselves.
Not to let people's points of views get in your way. 25.4.2002
If only we could be happy together.
You keep blowing hot and cold on me.
To know that love is not a bed of roses.
If only we could find it easy to talk one another these days, we always used to. What has gone wrong?
To keep things private bet ween one another.
Talk about it if or and when you are ready to.
We always used to have very special bond together but we don't anymore.
Not to care what people say?
No one can take it away from you other than yourselves.
Not to let people's points of views get in your way. 25.4.2002
Losing you.
When I lost you, it was hard to accept.
It took so long to get over you.
In time I accepted that there was not anymore me and you.
It took time to forget what happened.
To dwell and be alone thinking that you'd be the last man I'd have in my life.
In time you were history so I did move on.
I just took you how I saw and heard you.
Now you have become mine all over again, happy for how long? 25.4.2002
When I lost you, it was hard to accept.
It took so long to get over you.
In time I accepted that there was not anymore me and you.
It took time to forget what happened.
To dwell and be alone thinking that you'd be the last man I'd have in my life.
In time you were history so I did move on.
I just took you how I saw and heard you.
Now you have become mine all over again, happy for how long? 25.4.2002
I loved you for far too long.
Our love is far long and too strong to let go of one another.
I have got to know you far too well.
When you broke my heart the pain hurt too hard to talk about.
I treasured the happy memories of having spent happy times together.
Now you are making me happier than you did before.
I used to put on a brave face to show the world I was strong enough to be without you.26.4.2002
Life without you.
After so long together it's been so hard been apart.
I missed you so much and I have known you far too long to carry on being apart from you.
When I look at you very close, I know that I had been hiding my love for you so long. 26.4.2002
Close friends.
Although our love is ended can we please be very close friends?
Even thought we have caused one another so much pain, why can't we be close friends.
The tears I have cried are very hard to explain but it's time to move on to be with the people we really love and be happy.
One must bare the pain the best way because things will never be the same again.
Why make ourselves unhappy by bringing things back how were because we won't win?
We have tried so hard to love one another as lovers it just has not worked the way we wanted it to.
My ring will be on my finger until the day I die.
Heaven will be the place I love again.
Close friends is how you and I will stay forever more. Written September 1997.
How I remember you.
You used to have a heart.
I had your heart.
Now you don't have a heart anymore.
Now you don't love me anymore.
I don't think you ever will love me now. Written September 1997
You used to have a heart.
I had your heart.
Now you don't have a heart anymore.
Now you don't love me anymore.
I don't think you ever will love me now. Written September 1997
Can you and I be good friends?
No matter what we have put each other through when we were lovers, why can't we be best of friends?
I still love you but as a best male friend.
I can never forget the pain we put one another through.
Life is too short to full out and carry on feeling sad, I am willing to look you in the eye and forget the past.
No matter what happened I find it hard to hate you.
Even if we broke each others' hearts, there’s no hard feeling on my part.
All I want us to be is best of friends, is that far too much to ask?
Through all the time I've known you I have always loved you in anyway you wanted me to.
I was once your lover now we know that it did not work, may be we will be better off as best of friends. 27.2.1999
Time without you.
During the time we have parted my feelings for you kept changing all the while.
My emotions have been all over the place for a while now.
I have been so mixed up with what I wanted and not wanted. I don't know how to feel anymore.
I don't know what to say, all I can say is that I want your friendship.
I have missed you just the same as I did when we were lovers.
I started to write romantic poetry about you to come to terms with us having parted to try and clear all the emotions out of my head.
I wrote about anger.
I wrote about me pain.
In my romantic for you I also felt love.
During the time we have parted my feelings for you kept changing all the while.
My emotions have been all over the place for a while now.
I have been so mixed up with what I wanted and not wanted. I don't know how to feel anymore.
I don't know what to say, all I can say is that I want your friendship.
I have missed you just the same as I did when we were lovers.
I started to write romantic poetry about you to come to terms with us having parted to try and clear all the emotions out of my head.
I wrote about anger.
I wrote about me pain.
In my romantic for you I also felt love.
I have written this poem to say I love you whether you want to be friends or lovers.
Whatever we both say will go our way, I will be happy to say.
Whatever happens I will be happy as long as you are too.
If you need a friend I will promise you I will be there.
You must trust the fact that I accept that we will never be lovers again.
I missed the days that we were lovers but all good things come to an end.
No matter how hard I try my love for you never seem to go away but I want to see you with a life that makes you happy, even though your life will be never anymore with me.
If you want more than what you say you want please let me know, I am willing to accept whichever way it is.
If I am honest without the love my life has not been the same but I can live with what you want. 27.2.1999
Whatever we both say will go our way, I will be happy to say.
Whatever happens I will be happy as long as you are too.
If you need a friend I will promise you I will be there.
You must trust the fact that I accept that we will never be lovers again.
I missed the days that we were lovers but all good things come to an end.
No matter how hard I try my love for you never seem to go away but I want to see you with a life that makes you happy, even though your life will be never anymore with me.
If you want more than what you say you want please let me know, I am willing to accept whichever way it is.
If I am honest without the love my life has not been the same but I can live with what you want. 27.2.1999
I needed real friends.
The mistakes I have made are real through my break down when I was 27.
For nearly twelve mouths I was a very heavy drinker.
I drank like a fish seven days and nights a week, shame on me.
I mixed with the wrong people who got me into bother with my drinking but I cut it down when I was ready to.
I caused rows with my family, drank heavy behind and got into rows with other people round me.
I spend all the time worrying about everything.
As soon as I started writing poetry that when I cut down drink I feel more anger about us been apart.15.9.99
Friendship.
We would be willing to keep private information quiet.
To us you protect us.
To the people who you knew you always protect them and even now you have the strong power of god in you.
To us you took your own life and gave us ours.
We all love you for the person we know of you so far.
We do and always will miss your friendship and love.
You can see us but we can't see you.
You can hear us but we can't hear you.
To think you were going to be twenty - one the second mouth of the first year of the 21st century. 10.2.2000
We would be willing to keep private information quiet.
To us you protect us.
To the people who you knew you always protect them and even now you have the strong power of god in you.
To us you took your own life and gave us ours.
We all love you for the person we know of you so far.
We do and always will miss your friendship and love.
You can see us but we can't see you.
You can hear us but we can't hear you.
To think you were going to be twenty - one the second mouth of the first year of the 21st century. 10.2.2000
Men and love.
What has been missing out of my life?
May be I don't need it, may be I can do without love of a man.
Not just in a partner but in my own Father.
Where were you when I needed you?
That was a silly question, was it?
All my life, I have felt anger asking myself why I did not see you as child.
My entire Mother's family managed very well with me.
I don't feel like your daughter at all.
For whatever reason you could not see me for you could have seen me for a little while.
You are my Father it seems wrong that you were not around when I was a child. Written 5.7.2000
What has been missing out of my life?
May be I don't need it, may be I can do without love of a man.
Not just in a partner but in my own Father.
Where were you when I needed you?
That was a silly question, was it?
All my life, I have felt anger asking myself why I did not see you as child.
My entire Mother's family managed very well with me.
I don't feel like your daughter at all.
For whatever reason you could not see me for you could have seen me for a little while.
You are my Father it seems wrong that you were not around when I was a child. Written 5.7.2000
Please make my day.
Please make my day by coming back to me.
You have pleased me in a lot of ways before.
I hope I have pleased you before: whether you have or not I am pleased to be your girl.
You pleased for the kind of gentleman you were but what's happened to you now?
You will please me even more if you give me a surprise knocking at door.
I wish you will love me forever more.
Please write me a letter!
Please give me a call?
Please at least ask how I am?
This is too much for a woman to ask a man.
Why have you destroyed my heart and leave me so sad and blue?
You played into me because you knew I loved you and you know I still do.
It's so hard to believe what life would be without you, mainly when I am alone and you are with her.
If you don't want me, why can't you see sense and see someone better than her, it does not have to be me.
Why don't you try again my boy, your not good at picking women are you?
What have done wrong, other than finding it hard to fight the problems from my last lover before you?
Why do old relationships spoil it for new relationships?
Pain just takes ages to go.
OK I had one affair, you know he got me drank and got me where he wanted me.
Sorry that was a big mistake now you are making a bigger one.
Why do we keep on hurting one another more than loving one another?
Sorry I did not mean hurt I understand why you are getting your own back on me.
I did not mean to make you so sad and blue. Written 1997.
I never want to love again.
I never want to love again.
I just know if I love again I will get hurt again; it will make me worse again.
Who knows what I will do next, I don't know myself.
I don't want to live on this planet with loneliness; I have had enough of this life I do not want to live anymore.
This is the end of love and life; I have had too much pain to bear.
If I get hurt it will get worse I will go round the bend.
It's no good me living for someone I love who does not love me.
I don't know how to love more.
May be I should know I did not know how to love, I thought I knew how to love.
May be I will never ever know how to love, without falling in love too easy.
My heart does not feel and fear love, my heart feels and fears pain.
When I was a younger girl, my heart used to feel love, because I never knew or understood that love can end.
I am just frightened of feeling pain myself, I do not want to hurt another man and I don't want to get hurt myself. Written winter 1996 - 1997.
I treasure only one history love I had.
He is just a poor confused man who does not know what he wants in life.
He is a gentle, loving and caring gentleman.
He gave and took the best he could.
I am more grateful with what he had done for me in two and a half years.
He used to be a romantic wild red rose so now that's the best he goes.
Flowers on every birthday card he send me he chose.
He used to make me feel like the lady of his life.
I loved his smile that made my love for him worth while.
He used to be a very wise man.
He gave me so much love that I can't believe that anyone else could replace.
The love I had for him I treasure by my lonely heart.
I know life is life but I wish we were sharing love together in our hearts.
Now those days are over, my heart has to cope with happiness, laughter, joy sadness and tears.
Happy history is not forgotten to me, it's worth being alone until I can move on to love someone better, new and get rid of all the pain I am going through. Written 1997.
I think I am having a breakdown.
I think I am having a nervous break down.
I feel like cracking up, I don't know what to do or where to turn.
I can't see what a head of me is.
Something or someone is pushing me over the edge.
What or and who could it be? 1997 – 2000
I think I am having a nervous break down.
I feel like cracking up, I don't know what to do or where to turn.
I can't see what a head of me is.
Something or someone is pushing me over the edge.
What or and who could it be? 1997 – 2000
At times I feel a breaking down point.
Never take too much on that you can't cope with.
Never have anything to do so your life won't be full filled.
There's no such word as psychology when the human brain is hard to understand.
There are no real answers to why we think like we do.
Its worse when the mind is confused and when the person does not know what to do.
If there are no heads, there are no brains.
Brain is not a word: it's just inside the mind of one's head.
It just gives one a message to tell them what to say.
As human beings, we are not clever; we just say what our brains tell us to say which normally a load of rubbish anyway. 12.6.2005
Never take too much on that you can't cope with.
Never have anything to do so your life won't be full filled.
There's no such word as psychology when the human brain is hard to understand.
There are no real answers to why we think like we do.
Its worse when the mind is confused and when the person does not know what to do.
If there are no heads, there are no brains.
Brain is not a word: it's just inside the mind of one's head.
It just gives one a message to tell them what to say.
As human beings, we are not clever; we just say what our brains tell us to say which normally a load of rubbish anyway. 12.6.2005
On my own.
I am in my flat.
The clock is clicking slowly.
I can't wait to walk out the door.
I will soon be with my boyfriend or and my best friend.
Come home at night, I am back looking at the four walls.
I stop up listening to my music and I put my computer on then time for bed.
The same stars again tomorrow. December 2006
I am in my flat.
The clock is clicking slowly.
I can't wait to walk out the door.
I will soon be with my boyfriend or and my best friend.
Come home at night, I am back looking at the four walls.
I stop up listening to my music and I put my computer on then time for bed.
The same stars again tomorrow. December 2006
Love.
What is love all about?
Look for it you can't find it.
Don't look for it, its right there.
Once you feel love for someone and they do for you, it's hard to control.
It can go wrong and end in tears but still hard to control.
It can take long time to move on and love someone else.
You have to dust yourself up and start all over again.
It can become a risk loving, it can be very much being about trust.
You just take chances if it does not work keep moving on what will be will be.
What is love all about?
Look for it you can't find it.
Don't look for it, its right there.
Once you feel love for someone and they do for you, it's hard to control.
It can go wrong and end in tears but still hard to control.
It can take long time to move on and love someone else.
You have to dust yourself up and start all over again.
It can become a risk loving, it can be very much being about trust.
You just take chances if it does not work keep moving on what will be will be.
Whatever good chance you get take it, those good chances don't have often. December 2006
Life doesn't seem worth living.
Forget the rain and the clouds.
Forget the frost, fog, sleet and snow.
What about the green grass covered in daffodils?
What about a few green leaves on the trees?
What about being warm instead of cold?
What about the bright yellow sun in the deep blue sky?
If that was the case, may are we will be less depressed.
When Christmas is here life is a mess and come January, many people are in debt.
That's when life is not at its best. December 2006
Say goodbye to life.
I say good bye to the bad things in life.
Take the easy way out, go to heaven.
I say hello to the good things in life, leave earth.
What here for us all?
Nothing but bad news.
Too much crime and the list go on.
Too many companies closing down, there's nothing for young people anymore.
I find it hard to see the good life.
Other than my boyfriend's friends, family and education that's my life.
Society is depressing but may be there is a way forward one day. December 2006
I say good bye to the bad things in life.
Take the easy way out, go to heaven.
I say hello to the good things in life, leave earth.
What here for us all?
Nothing but bad news.
Too much crime and the list go on.
Too many companies closing down, there's nothing for young people anymore.
I find it hard to see the good life.
Other than my boyfriend's friends, family and education that's my life.
Society is depressing but may be there is a way forward one day. December 2006
I don't think I have anything to get upset about.
Some how I feel low but I wish I knew the reason why.
I also feel very upset and angry.
I feel as if I don't want to live anymore.
I might be just depressed.
Whatever it is I will find a way to get over it but I am not sure how to other than writing poetry.
I feel as if I want to disappear into another world.
I just want to die and never come back.
I don't want help.
I just want to cope on my own.
I wish I could be happy again.
It's hard to see what will happen next. December 2006
Some how I feel low but I wish I knew the reason why.
I also feel very upset and angry.
I feel as if I don't want to live anymore.
I might be just depressed.
Whatever it is I will find a way to get over it but I am not sure how to other than writing poetry.
I feel as if I want to disappear into another world.
I just want to die and never come back.
I don't want help.
I just want to cope on my own.
I wish I could be happy again.
It's hard to see what will happen next. December 2006
How do we explain?
People say it's all in our minds.
We should snap out of it.
We would if we were not being feeling like we do.
Yes I have a reason to give, the world, government and society.
There have many times I felt low for no reason, that's the same for other people too.
I have cried not knowing I have been crying for.
In the end I have felt foolish and guilty but then when tears catch your eye that’s what you can't control. December 2006
People say it's all in our minds.
We should snap out of it.
We would if we were not being feeling like we do.
Yes I have a reason to give, the world, government and society.
There have many times I felt low for no reason, that's the same for other people too.
I have cried not knowing I have been crying for.
In the end I have felt foolish and guilty but then when tears catch your eye that’s what you can't control. December 2006
Why do I feel?
Why do I feel I don't want to eat a lot?
Why do I feel as if I don't want to go to bed?
Why do I wake up just any time when I do sleep?
I have no job and not much money and no where to go other to see the man I love.
If I can just about get some kind of work and a little pay, I'd be ok.
I am still on earth; I don't think I will be happy until the day I die.
I want die young and in peace. December 2006
Why do I feel I don't want to eat a lot?
Why do I feel as if I don't want to go to bed?
Why do I wake up just any time when I do sleep?
I have no job and not much money and no where to go other to see the man I love.
If I can just about get some kind of work and a little pay, I'd be ok.
I am still on earth; I don't think I will be happy until the day I die.
I want die young and in peace. December 2006
What's the matter with me?
I feel ashamed that I feel sad.
I think I have got more in life than I know about.
I have a boyfriend, family and friends.
I have a good education; I am not bullied like I was in school.
I know life does not live around me but most teenagers and people in their twenties don't have respect these days.
Manners have gone through the window.
People are getting off buses pushing into people.
No one seems to be polite anymore.
The government has given us far too many rules to cope with.
The only thing with my life is being disabled and wanting a job. December 2006
I feel ashamed that I feel sad.
I think I have got more in life than I know about.
I have a boyfriend, family and friends.
I have a good education; I am not bullied like I was in school.
I know life does not live around me but most teenagers and people in their twenties don't have respect these days.
Manners have gone through the window.
People are getting off buses pushing into people.
No one seems to be polite anymore.
The government has given us far too many rules to cope with.
The only thing with my life is being disabled and wanting a job. December 2006
I wish there was a way to disappear.
When I am walking outside I wish there were some magic powers to make me disappear up in heaven if there is any such name and place.
Please take me away from this depressing earth?
I would have wings on my arms and flippers on my feet, then up and away I would go.
What will be there for me? Who knows?
I want to run away and hide from the world
I want to say goodbye to earth.
I want to run away from the same old things everyday.
Find a place to hide and die.
If I carry on living in this world I won't be happy because it is depressing towards everyone. December 2006.
It drives me mad.
I look at the tall block of flats; I picture myself flying in the air.
If I am inside a high rise flat, the ground seems a long way down.
If I am waiting up stairs on the bus as the bus moves, I keep think I am going to fall down.
I don't know why I think I am falling down as I am going up.
The end of my life seems so far away, how much longer do I have to stay, I can't stand the pain as longer?
When I am going down, I know if I fall, I won't fall up, I will fall down. December 2006
I look at the tall block of flats; I picture myself flying in the air.
If I am inside a high rise flat, the ground seems a long way down.
If I am waiting up stairs on the bus as the bus moves, I keep think I am going to fall down.
I don't know why I think I am falling down as I am going up.
The end of my life seems so far away, how much longer do I have to stay, I can't stand the pain as longer?
When I am going down, I know if I fall, I won't fall up, I will fall down. December 2006
When I feel down.
When I feel down, I can't be bothered with anything at all.
I can feel down whether I have a reason to or not but not all the time.
I just want to get away from the four walls.
The end of my life seems so far away, how much longer do I have to stay?
I want to live to be old but only when I feel happy again. December 2006
Winter time.
Look at the cold, dull and gray sky that depresses us more!
In the winter the day turns to night far too early. Light turns to dark.
When I go out it's a long way to walk through those block of flats to the bus stop.
Those flats seem a long way when it's dark when I come back home at night.
There are very few street lights as you walk through the dark alleys where you turn right. December 2006
It feels as if it's there for life.
Everyone has good and bad days.
We all can feel down in the dumps at anytime.
We can feel happy anytime but at the moment I am feeling up and down through the day like most people with depression.
A lot of people would say it's all in people's head but you only have to have kind of tragedy and we are out of our minds.
I don't think people are surprised by that because stress kills more than thousands in the world. December 2006
Everyone has good and bad days.
We all can feel down in the dumps at anytime.
We can feel happy anytime but at the moment I am feeling up and down through the day like most people with depression.
A lot of people would say it's all in people's head but you only have to have kind of tragedy and we are out of our minds.
I don't think people are surprised by that because stress kills more than thousands in the world. December 2006
Where do I go next?
The shy is blue and the sun is yellow.
Sand is yellow and the sea is blue too.
I will feel the air coming down to feet as the tide pushes me in the sea.
I will see angels under my feet as I fly like a bird.
I will haunt earth as an angel, I will keep earth safe. December 2006.
The shy is blue and the sun is yellow.
Sand is yellow and the sea is blue too.
I will feel the air coming down to feet as the tide pushes me in the sea.
I will see angels under my feet as I fly like a bird.
I will haunt earth as an angel, I will keep earth safe. December 2006.
It won't be: it will be.
It won't be fires.
It won't be knives.
It will be tablets, pills and water.
When I get up there, I will be a fairy with lots of frills. December 2006.
It won't be fires.
It won't be knives.
It will be tablets, pills and water.
When I get up there, I will be a fairy with lots of frills. December 2006.
I would love.
You just don't show love towards me anymore.
Never mind I get paid tomorrow as you seem to want to rid of me.
I may have enough money to buy myself a beer tomorrow night.
I hope to get a job next year and may be a bit of cash one day. December 2006.
If I end my time.
I don't like heights.
I don't like knives.
I like water but not tablets or pill but less painful way to die.
I don't mind what happens to my body as long as I am in peace not pain. December 2006.
Something without ever knowing, you snap and hurt someone's feelings.
You know afterward you feel bad about what you have said and done.
You just want to break down and cry.
You don't want to live you want to die.
The guilt cuts you up like a knife.
I am just going out of my mind. December 2006
You know afterward you feel bad about what you have said and done.
You just want to break down and cry.
You don't want to live you want to die.
The guilt cuts you up like a knife.
I am just going out of my mind. December 2006
it’s too much.
There is nowhere to run and hide from my feelings of love.
Life is hard work for us all at times.
Don't ask me why that is because I don't know.
Sometimes I feel down for silly reasons.
There was a time people thought you were mad if you were down for no reason, I have lived in those times.
Even on happy days I can hide the sadness yet on sad days I can't.
You want to put things behind yourself but in most of us it's hard to do.
I mainly get depressed when I worry about thing which could be silly things.
I know what a lot of people would say is worrying gives you an early grave, may be that's what is happening to me because I can't help the way I am.
When that happens I act as if it's the end of the world, I have always been like its part of my disability I was told. December 2006
There is nowhere to run and hide from my feelings of love.
Life is hard work for us all at times.
Don't ask me why that is because I don't know.
Sometimes I feel down for silly reasons.
There was a time people thought you were mad if you were down for no reason, I have lived in those times.
Even on happy days I can hide the sadness yet on sad days I can't.
You want to put things behind yourself but in most of us it's hard to do.
I mainly get depressed when I worry about thing which could be silly things.
I know what a lot of people would say is worrying gives you an early grave, may be that's what is happening to me because I can't help the way I am.
When that happens I act as if it's the end of the world, I have always been like its part of my disability I was told. December 2006
I want to leave earth before I am 40.
I hate the thought of having curly gray hair, walking stick and frame.
I don't want to line up for my pension money; I want to be gone long before I get to that age.
I don't want to end up in an old people's home I sooner be gone well before then.
I want to leave the world as young as possible.
The thought of going through the change scars me. December 2006
I hate the thought of having curly gray hair, walking stick and frame.
I don't want to line up for my pension money; I want to be gone long before I get to that age.
I don't want to end up in an old people's home I sooner be gone well before then.
I want to leave the world as young as possible.
The thought of going through the change scars me. December 2006
Why?
Why, if life can't be that bad why does it feel that way?
When you feel down, it does not always happen with a reason.
I want to close myself up so I don't depress people even though I am but I find it hard to control.
Writing poetry is the only thing that's keeping me going so doesn’t take what I say too much to heart, take it like a pinch of salt.
I can understand that I not get or any of you reading this work but I need to get these things off my chest which is hard to do without putting on people.
I am sorry; I will just say nothing one day so people don't know.I don't feel the same person as I was before. December 2006.
Why, if life can't be that bad why does it feel that way?
When you feel down, it does not always happen with a reason.
I want to close myself up so I don't depress people even though I am but I find it hard to control.
Writing poetry is the only thing that's keeping me going so doesn’t take what I say too much to heart, take it like a pinch of salt.
I can understand that I not get or any of you reading this work but I need to get these things off my chest which is hard to do without putting on people.
I am sorry; I will just say nothing one day so people don't know.I don't feel the same person as I was before. December 2006.
Crying and tears.
What has causes a lot of us to cry for no reason?
Who know why?
I don't know myself so no one has to know the answer to that question.
Why do a lot of us get down for no reason?
That's no one's guess.
Why do we feel it's the end of the world?
Why cry over silly things?
What is life really about?
Goodness knows.
How can some people just sail through life yet others just crack up?
I think if you believe you’re a strong person then you take life as it comes.
I think I am stronger than I think but I think I am strong enough to think I am strong.
Yet for some reason I am one of the worse worriers.
Whether something is on my mind or not, if I feel tears it comes out.
I just feel silly.
Should I feel silly or not?
That's another question hard to answer. December 2006
What has causes a lot of us to cry for no reason?
Who know why?
I don't know myself so no one has to know the answer to that question.
Why do a lot of us get down for no reason?
That's no one's guess.
Why do we feel it's the end of the world?
Why cry over silly things?
What is life really about?
Goodness knows.
How can some people just sail through life yet others just crack up?
I think if you believe you’re a strong person then you take life as it comes.
I think I am stronger than I think but I think I am strong enough to think I am strong.
Yet for some reason I am one of the worse worriers.
Whether something is on my mind or not, if I feel tears it comes out.
I just feel silly.
Should I feel silly or not?
That's another question hard to answer. December 2006
I want to get out of here.
May be no one knows how I feel.
I feel like walking away from Wolverhampton before my life ends.
I feel moody and depressed.
I feel I can't wait to get out of here.
I don't want to travel the world; I want to get out of it.
I don't know how to feel good anymore; I don't think I ever did.
I don't want help, I just want to leave the earth, I will never be happy until I do.
I don't know the first thing to do to change my mind about how I feel.
I only wish I did not feel this way.
I just feel so confused as if the world is too much for me. December 2006
May be no one knows how I feel.
I feel like walking away from Wolverhampton before my life ends.
I feel moody and depressed.
I feel I can't wait to get out of here.
I don't want to travel the world; I want to get out of it.
I don't know how to feel good anymore; I don't think I ever did.
I don't want help, I just want to leave the earth, I will never be happy until I do.
I don't know the first thing to do to change my mind about how I feel.
I only wish I did not feel this way.
I just feel so confused as if the world is too much for me. December 2006
One day everything will come to an end.
We all hate sadness but we all like the truth.
There are times that sad things are the truth and it hurts.
Humans and animals live and die.
Flowers and plants die.
Nothing lasts forever so why are we here in the first place?
We all go through happiness as well as sadness.
How confusing the reasons are for us being on earth in the first place.
It can't be anymore confusing than it already is but how boring it would be if it just worked one way.
You just can't have it well all the time.
You just can't have it bad all the time.
It all ends in the end.
All good things come to an end. December 2006
We all hate sadness but we all like the truth.
There are times that sad things are the truth and it hurts.
Humans and animals live and die.
Flowers and plants die.
Nothing lasts forever so why are we here in the first place?
We all go through happiness as well as sadness.
How confusing the reasons are for us being on earth in the first place.
It can't be anymore confusing than it already is but how boring it would be if it just worked one way.
You just can't have it well all the time.
You just can't have it bad all the time.
It all ends in the end.
All good things come to an end. December 2006
Drinking.
Drink can cause people to break down relationships.
Drink can cause family break downs.
Death can drive people to drink.
Drunk drivers are danger to themselves and other people.
Drink can drive people to death whether they drink heavy or not.
My world was empty without you so I wanted to leave the world without you.
I couldn't stand anymore; I tried to leave the world before.
I did not feel strong enough to cope with the pain so here I go again.
I almost drank myself to death.
I ate less and less and I became light headed.
I still forgive you but I don't forget what happened, that's only because I love you.
I understand the past is the past but I can't but talk about every now and then because you hurt me very badly.
I am willing to put behind now but you will have no more chances if you hurt me again. December 2006
Drink can cause people to break down relationships.
Drink can cause family break downs.
Death can drive people to drink.
Drunk drivers are danger to themselves and other people.
Drink can drive people to death whether they drink heavy or not.
My world was empty without you so I wanted to leave the world without you.
I couldn't stand anymore; I tried to leave the world before.
I did not feel strong enough to cope with the pain so here I go again.
I almost drank myself to death.
I ate less and less and I became light headed.
I still forgive you but I don't forget what happened, that's only because I love you.
I understand the past is the past but I can't but talk about every now and then because you hurt me very badly.
I am willing to put behind now but you will have no more chances if you hurt me again. December 2006
What is life like now?
I am sitting in my living room looking through my window; the sky is half blue and half white.
It's an early Monday afternoon but it is a Bank holiday that does not feel like a Bank holiday.
There's hardy anyone about outside.
How strange is that?
You may say why don't you get out?
I will tonight.
I have hardy any money to spend.
I am not asking for the world but it would be nice to have a little bit more money in my pocket.
Jobs are not easy to find these days.
There are far too many people unemployed, which cause people to go through depression.
No spaces, not enough exams, too many exams, not enough training, too much training, age, disability, place closing down and many more reasons. December 2006
I am sitting in my living room looking through my window; the sky is half blue and half white.
It's an early Monday afternoon but it is a Bank holiday that does not feel like a Bank holiday.
There's hardy anyone about outside.
How strange is that?
You may say why don't you get out?
I will tonight.
I have hardy any money to spend.
I am not asking for the world but it would be nice to have a little bit more money in my pocket.
Jobs are not easy to find these days.
There are far too many people unemployed, which cause people to go through depression.
No spaces, not enough exams, too many exams, not enough training, too much training, age, disability, place closing down and many more reasons. December 2006
I can't see.
I can't see any further than my nose.
I think it's a big long road.
I can't take that big long road; it's far too far for me to walk to see what is there.
I am just scared what will happen when I get there.
I want to get of here before I get there, I can't see myself getting to the end of the road.
So high, when I look up I feel as if I want to fly.
Yet I would be too scared to fly going up high.
I don't know if I would feel strong enough to come back down again.
I don't like the thought of going up high unless I am in a plane.
I don't like seeing thought.
I don't know what I will see when I get there.
Will I go left, right or straight on?
I don't know where to turn.
I am too scared to try so I want to cruel into a hole to die
I can't see any further than my nose.
I think it's a big long road.
I can't take that big long road; it's far too far for me to walk to see what is there.
I am just scared what will happen when I get there.
I want to get of here before I get there, I can't see myself getting to the end of the road.
So high, when I look up I feel as if I want to fly.
Yet I would be too scared to fly going up high.
I don't know if I would feel strong enough to come back down again.
I don't like the thought of going up high unless I am in a plane.
I don't like seeing thought.
I don't know what I will see when I get there.
Will I go left, right or straight on?
I don't know where to turn.
I am too scared to try so I want to cruel into a hole to die
The sky seems high rise flats by where I live.
I keep thinking that someone is going to fall out of them.
I keep thinking that they are all going to fall down. December 2006
I keep thinking that someone is going to fall out of them.
I keep thinking that they are all going to fall down. December 2006
I don't want to leave you.
You are not the problem, it's me.
I only feel better when I am with you.
You might be the only one keeping me going but I don't feel I can.
The world seems big and larger than life to me, it all seems so far away.
I still have so long to live it scars me.
I don't like it this way, the fear of having walking sticks and frames. December 2006
You are not the problem, it's me.
I only feel better when I am with you.
You might be the only one keeping me going but I don't feel I can.
The world seems big and larger than life to me, it all seems so far away.
I still have so long to live it scars me.
I don't like it this way, the fear of having walking sticks and frames. December 2006
There are good times and bad.
Today I don't feel too bad.
Tomorrow I may feel down.
Sorry, I must say I will never know.
The good thing is that I am eating a meal; I can smell cottage pie and veg.
When I am low, I don't eat that much.
It makes a big difference when I see people.
I saw my best friend today that's good.
I just wish I would not take my stress out on my lover; he is also my best friend.
May be when I get work one day, I can save up for getting my work published and new clothes.
I will still enjoy my social life all the same.
I can't have everything.
We want difference things but can't have everything as we haven't got it. December 2006
You are our loving friends.
You are our loving friends.
You are our loving friends.
We can't borrow you.
We can't buy or sell you.
We can't fire you.
We can't do much without you.
We can have fun with you.
We can fool around with you.
We can talk to you.
We can do a lot with you.
We will always be around you.
We hope you will be around us.
Whenever you want us we will be there.
When you don't want us, we won't bother you anywhere.
You may think sometimes that you don't have friends but we and other friends are around you are place some where. Written 1998 - 1999.
We can't borrow you.
We can't buy or sell you.
We can't fire you.
We can't do much without you.
We can have fun with you.
We can fool around with you.
We can talk to you.
We can do a lot with you.
We will always be around you.
We hope you will be around us.
Whenever you want us we will be there.
When you don't want us, we won't bother you anywhere.
You may think sometimes that you don't have friends but we and other friends are around you are place some where. Written 1998 - 1999.
Every girls dream and nightmare.
It's every girl's dream and nightmare to become a bride.
Not every girl is lucky to meet a man of her kind.
Not every girl meets her prince charming the love of her life.
When becoming a man's wife it can be a story of a woman's life.
The amount of years good girls have to wait to be a gentleman's wife.
Having been a gentleman's wife it is not what we think might.
Some days can be a rather unhappy site to be a man's wife.
A wife might end up blowing into her kite.
Girls would you agree that a lot of men can be such mites. Written 1997 - 2000
It's every girl's dream and nightmare to become a bride.
Not every girl is lucky to meet a man of her kind.
Not every girl meets her prince charming the love of her life.
When becoming a man's wife it can be a story of a woman's life.
The amount of years good girls have to wait to be a gentleman's wife.
Having been a gentleman's wife it is not what we think might.
Some days can be a rather unhappy site to be a man's wife.
A wife might end up blowing into her kite.
Girls would you agree that a lot of men can be such mites. Written 1997 - 2000
I love you Antonio my longest lasted laddie.
I love you Antonio my longest lasted laddie.
Why did you go off with another lassie?
You know I love you so madly and sadly.
Now I will never ever have another laddie.
You broken my heart you mean Romano.
I fell in love with you so madly, gladly and sadly Antonio.
You are such a baddie but I love you.
I must be blind not to know that you'd treat me unkind.
Don't you have any love, care understanding on your mind?
I so very much wanted to be your bride so I must get that out of my mind. Written 1996 to 1997.
I love you Antonio my longest lasted laddie.
Why did you go off with another lassie?
You know I love you so madly and sadly.
Now I will never ever have another laddie.
You broken my heart you mean Romano.
I fell in love with you so madly, gladly and sadly Antonio.
You are such a baddie but I love you.
I must be blind not to know that you'd treat me unkind.
Don't you have any love, care understanding on your mind?
I so very much wanted to be your bride so I must get that out of my mind. Written 1996 to 1997.
When you are frightened to love but frightened of being lonely without.
You are frightened of being alone but frightened to love the days and nights seem dull.
The future never seems to come because it's hard to believe that things will get better.
You are worried about getting hurt all over again which brings sadness and pain more and more.
You can feel shame, anger, guilt and happiness can be the only word that you aren't feeling at that moment.
You know that you’re not getting any younger and the future seems dull because the present is.
Trying to think about when you were happy is hard.
I can see myself just being an old maid because I can't seem to have trust in men.
Lynn you have taken all my happiness away I hope you will be happier with Antonio than I was.
Antonio you never told me your reason for going off with Lynn, I guess I was never good enough for you.
You are frightened of being alone but frightened to love the days and nights seem dull.
The future never seems to come because it's hard to believe that things will get better.
You are worried about getting hurt all over again which brings sadness and pain more and more.
You can feel shame, anger, guilt and happiness can be the only word that you aren't feeling at that moment.
You know that you’re not getting any younger and the future seems dull because the present is.
Trying to think about when you were happy is hard.
I can see myself just being an old maid because I can't seem to have trust in men.
Lynn you have taken all my happiness away I hope you will be happier with Antonio than I was.
Antonio you never told me your reason for going off with Lynn, I guess I was never good enough for you.
I just need to learn how to get you out of my head and get on with my life; I should not have hung around where I was not wanted.
When a relationship has ended after such a long time it becomes a big shock.
Finding the best happiness is hard to find, it could take never or a long time.
Could you be wondering
what could become in the end. Written 1997.
When a relationship has ended after such a long time it becomes a big shock.
Finding the best happiness is hard to find, it could take never or a long time.
Could you be wondering
what could become in the end. Written 1997.
Thank you my loving caring friends.
Thank you for having trust in me.
Thank you for been trusting friends to me.
Thank you for listening to me what I have to say to you all.
Thank you for advising me and talking to me.
Thank you for giving the life that I really want.
I'd like to think I can do the same for you.
Without you I will crack up.
I hope my dream will come true to love again.
Thank you for cheering me up when I am feeling down.
Thank you been there when I need you.
Thank you for been honest with me; I will try my best to be honest with you.
Thank you for helping me through disappointments in life.
I will be more than happy to help you in every way and all the way.
Most of all thank you all for been very good friends and thank you for been you. 1997 - 2000
Thank you for having trust in me.
Thank you for been trusting friends to me.
Thank you for listening to me what I have to say to you all.
Thank you for advising me and talking to me.
Thank you for giving the life that I really want.
I'd like to think I can do the same for you.
Without you I will crack up.
I hope my dream will come true to love again.
Thank you for cheering me up when I am feeling down.
Thank you been there when I need you.
Thank you for been honest with me; I will try my best to be honest with you.
Thank you for helping me through disappointments in life.
I will be more than happy to help you in every way and all the way.
Most of all thank you all for been very good friends and thank you for been you. 1997 - 2000
LOVE.
One always wonders why we are all ever born.
Our parents fall in love and bring us to the world.
Most parents break and then that cause anger, hurt and pain to us all.
We fall in love and the pain of ended love hurts even more.
Love is like a story, love is like a book; please turn over a lot more than a thousand pages your welcome to have a look.
I have got to the stage of thinking either forever love or no love at all the pain is too much to cope with.
I hope I am wrong in thinking I could be so weak, I hope I become strong.
Will I ever meet my forever love?
I have fallen in and out of love so many times every love I have had has a fairly tale dream story and nightmare in them.
Our dreams will more than likely come true but life is one big dream for you and me. 1996
One always wonders why we are all ever born.
Our parents fall in love and bring us to the world.
Most parents break and then that cause anger, hurt and pain to us all.
We fall in love and the pain of ended love hurts even more.
Love is like a story, love is like a book; please turn over a lot more than a thousand pages your welcome to have a look.
I have got to the stage of thinking either forever love or no love at all the pain is too much to cope with.
I hope I am wrong in thinking I could be so weak, I hope I become strong.
Will I ever meet my forever love?
I have fallen in and out of love so many times every love I have had has a fairly tale dream story and nightmare in them.
Our dreams will more than likely come true but life is one big dream for you and me. 1996
The character
What do you see god when you look at me?
Why did you make me?
Would you agree there's a character in me?
Why did you bring this disabled world to me?
Thank you god for making me.
Am I the human being you wanted me to be?
What are you seeing and thinking when you look down from heaven to earth at me?
You see a human being who is not very wise.
How can you see me god with those far away eyes?
As a human being I am sitting here still.
I'm human baby, child and teenager inside an adult who used to dribble her food and make no reply.
You look down from heaven to earth in a loud voice saying I wish she'd try.
Did you ever you used to notice the things I used to do like loosing a sock and shoe?
Did you notice the things my family used to do like feeding and bathing me all the days through?
Do you still see the baby in me?
Why did you make me?
Would you agree there's a character in me?
Why did you bring this disabled world to me?
Thank you god for making me.
Am I the human being you wanted me to be?
What are you seeing and thinking when you look down from heaven to earth at me?
You see a human being who is not very wise.
How can you see me god with those far away eyes?
As a human being I am sitting here still.
I'm human baby, child and teenager inside an adult who used to dribble her food and make no reply.
You look down from heaven to earth in a loud voice saying I wish she'd try.
Did you ever you used to notice the things I used to do like loosing a sock and shoe?
Did you notice the things my family used to do like feeding and bathing me all the days through?
Do you still see the baby in me?
If you open your eyes god I'm a disabled person who has or should the rights to live my life the same as other people and that's the same for other disabled people too.
I will tell you as the human being sitting here all through my childhood I could not see a brother and sister with me.
It was the beginning of my teenage years when my baby sister came to me.
I will tell you as the human being sitting here all through my childhood I could not see a brother and sister with me.
It was the beginning of my teenage years when my baby sister came to me.
No sign of my Father until I was twenty - one all my family were there for me from birth.
When I was a young girl of sixteen I used to dream of wings underneath my feet dreaming of the man I'd marry, how wrong was I to think such a thing. I was just too blind to see but what will be. Never say never there's still time for me but I have also learned not to build my hopes up you see.
When I was twenty - eight I thought my life was over I thought it was too late, even though I was in love with a man who wasn't right for me.
I may go through pain in my life like everyone else but I pick myself up and move on.
I believe there's always someone for someone.
Only you god can tell me what my future is to be.
When I was a young woman of thirty I thought I'd live a normal life to be.
I though by the age of thirty I'd be rearing young of my own but now I have seen the world today it's not a safe world for children to be.
Being disabled is stopping rearing children like everyone else I just needed the support that was all.
I may go through pain in my life like everyone else but I pick myself up and move on.
I believe there's always someone for someone.
Only you god can tell me what my future is to be.
When I was a young woman of thirty I thought I'd live a normal life to be.
I though by the age of thirty I'd be rearing young of my own but now I have seen the world today it's not a safe world for children to be.
Being disabled is stopping rearing children like everyone else I just needed the support that was all.
Not everyone is lucky to have their dream home and lover to be which has taught me not to live in fairly tale land to be.
I must say it would be nice to be with a gentleman who will bond with me to love forever endlessly.
I must say it would be nice to be with a gentleman who will bond with me to love forever endlessly.
Now I am nearly forty the years are rolling fast.
I have walked out on one man who was not meant to last with me but now I have learned to see what happens when tomorrow's door opens.
I have walked out on one man who was not meant to last with me but now I have learned to see what happens when tomorrow's door opens.
Who knows where I will be when I am fifty, will there be the man for me?
My dark future will be upon me so I will now try to live my life without regret.
Loneliness and old age will give me so much to dread.
While I'm still young enough I will enjoy the life I have yet.
Old age will not make a fool out of me, if that was so what a sad character I would be.
I don't expect people to feel sorry for me, old or young I must enjoy life while I am here.
I want my peaceful body crumbled away with happiness and grace but no pain.
Now and again I will look down from heaven to earth to see the people I leave behind who I remember well.
You must accept the fact that we can't live forever.
So open your eyes god open and see, under that disabled person is an able human being and she is a real character in me.
I will still write short stories, novel, play and romantic poetry. Late 20th century to early 21st century.
Loneliness and old age will give me so much to dread.
While I'm still young enough I will enjoy the life I have yet.
Old age will not make a fool out of me, if that was so what a sad character I would be.
I don't expect people to feel sorry for me, old or young I must enjoy life while I am here.
I want my peaceful body crumbled away with happiness and grace but no pain.
Now and again I will look down from heaven to earth to see the people I leave behind who I remember well.
You must accept the fact that we can't live forever.
So open your eyes god open and see, under that disabled person is an able human being and she is a real character in me.
I will still write short stories, novel, play and romantic poetry. Late 20th century to early 21st century.
You were there; you'd gone; now you have come back.
We were far too young; we fell in love far too young.
We looked at each other and we knew it was love.
Two and years were long for me to feel as if I belonged to you.
Four years of sadness and falling love with someone who I did not even love.
We need to act like adults instead of children.
The door was closed for so long; we never thought the door would open again.
We never thought we'd let one another in again.
We suddenly knew that we had loved one another too long to let go of one another. 26.5.2002
We were far too young; we fell in love far too young.
We looked at each other and we knew it was love.
Two and years were long for me to feel as if I belonged to you.
Four years of sadness and falling love with someone who I did not even love.
We need to act like adults instead of children.
The door was closed for so long; we never thought the door would open again.
We never thought we'd let one another in again.
We suddenly knew that we had loved one another too long to let go of one another. 26.5.2002
I never felt the same without you.Walking around the town alone I’m so bored out my head.
I used to think to go to pubs getting drunk out my head, I could not even stand on my own two feet I was that drunk, and you broke my heart so much.
I told your Mum that I would have stop coming down, it was hard facing you in the same room knowing that you did not love me anymore and that you were with her.
Your Mum told me to take no notice of you even though you were biting my head off. I could not stand anymore but.
If it had not been for your Mum telling me not to stop coming you won't have seen me again let a lone get back together.
As much as I like your Mum, has her advice made me a stronger person or not?
I know she likes me but I know we are always going be on and off until things go bang!
I used to think to go to pubs getting drunk out my head, I could not even stand on my own two feet I was that drunk, and you broke my heart so much.
I told your Mum that I would have stop coming down, it was hard facing you in the same room knowing that you did not love me anymore and that you were with her.
Your Mum told me to take no notice of you even though you were biting my head off. I could not stand anymore but.
If it had not been for your Mum telling me not to stop coming you won't have seen me again let a lone get back together.
As much as I like your Mum, has her advice made me a stronger person or not?
I know she likes me but I know we are always going be on and off until things go bang!
At the time I was going out of my mind I could not stand to be alive.
I think I had a very bad break down, you having gone off with her hurt me so much.
I must be mad to have you back but I love you so much.
I should not go back to you really but I love you too much not to.
Slowly I knew you will hurt me and break my heart again.
I and your family tried to tell you, you going with her were a big mistake but you knew it all, you would not listen.
When you saw me, you had no interest in me what so ever.
When I walked out of your Mum's door I felt so small.
Now you love me again, I hope the pain has gone forever and for good.
Keep hold of me, there may come a day I may not love you anymore, I may not feel the same towards you as I do now, and it’s only love that has bought me back to
Stronger love.
When you saw me, you had no interest in me what so ever.
When I walked out of your Mum's door I felt so small.
Now you love me again, I hope the pain has gone forever and for good.
Keep hold of me, there may come a day I may not love you anymore, I may not feel the same towards you as I do now, and it’s only love that has bought me back to
you!
What goes around comes around; I treat you like you treat me. 26.5.2002
What goes around comes around; I treat you like you treat me. 26.5.2002
I can trust that you won't hurt me again.
Our love is stronger whatever goes on.
I don't enjoy having epilepsy, it makes it hard for me to lead my life but I will manage somehow.
I don't let my condition put a hold on my life.
My condition may have bought us close together but then I hope it does not slit us apart.
I don't want to lose you again.
At the end of the day we always get on great.
You’re my best friend as well as my lover.
My darling let's work hard at this after we have both been through already.
We will get through the good and bad together.26.5.2002
Our love is stronger whatever goes on.
I don't enjoy having epilepsy, it makes it hard for me to lead my life but I will manage somehow.
I don't let my condition put a hold on my life.
My condition may have bought us close together but then I hope it does not slit us apart.
I don't want to lose you again.
At the end of the day we always get on great.
You’re my best friend as well as my lover.
My darling let's work hard at this after we have both been through already.
We will get through the good and bad together.26.5.2002
thought you had gone for good.
I thought about you all the time as tears came down my eyes.
I missed the man who made me laugh with his brown eyes and cheeky face.
You have got such lovely ways.
The pain you gave me cut me into like a knife going through me when you were not with me.
In time I had to get on with my life, I would have stopped alone not excepting you to come back.
I was not going to come back or wait for you otherwise I could have been waiting forever or never.
When I looked at you again, I knew I knew you too well.
I looked at that cheeky face.
I could not help but love you.
No matter how much you hurt me, I found it hard to hate you.
It seemed so long I thought you would come back.
I was more than surprised that you did. 26.5.2002
I missed the man who made me laugh with his brown eyes and cheeky face.
You have got such lovely ways.
The pain you gave me cut me into like a knife going through me when you were not with me.
In time I had to get on with my life, I would have stopped alone not excepting you to come back.
I was not going to come back or wait for you otherwise I could have been waiting forever or never.
When I looked at you again, I knew I knew you too well.
I looked at that cheeky face.
I could not help but love you.
No matter how much you hurt me, I found it hard to hate you.
It seemed so long I thought you would come back.
I was more than surprised that you did. 26.5.2002
True love.After all these years my love for you is far too strong to let go.
It's too hard getting use to being apart from you.
Now I have to get use to living without your love. 25.4.2002
It's too hard getting use to being apart from you.
Now I have to get use to living without your love. 25.4.2002
To love each other for one another.
We need to take things slowly.
To look at each other and know it's right. 25.4.2002
We need to take things slowly.
To look at each other and know it's right. 25.4.2002
Love verse.
If only we could be happy together.
You keep blowing hot and cold on me.
To know that love is not a bed of roses.
If only we could find it easy to talk one another these days, we always used to. What has gone wrong?
To keep things private bet ween one another.
Talk about it if or and when you are ready to.
We always used to have very special bond together but we don't anymore.
Not to care what people say?
No one can take it away from you other than yourselves.
Not to let people's points of views get in your way. 25.4.2002
You keep blowing hot and cold on me.
To know that love is not a bed of roses.
If only we could find it easy to talk one another these days, we always used to. What has gone wrong?
To keep things private bet ween one another.
Talk about it if or and when you are ready to.
We always used to have very special bond together but we don't anymore.
Not to care what people say?
No one can take it away from you other than yourselves.
Not to let people's points of views get in your way. 25.4.2002
Losing you.
When I lost you, it was hard to accept.
It took so long to get over you.
In time I accepted that there was not anymore me and you.
It took time to forget what happened.
To dwell and be alone thinking that you'd be the last man I'd have in my life.
In time you were history so I did move on.
I just took you how I saw and heard you.
Now you have become mine all over again, happy for how long? 25.4.2002
It took so long to get over you.
In time I accepted that there was not anymore me and you.
It took time to forget what happened.
To dwell and be alone thinking that you'd be the last man I'd have in my life.
In time you were history so I did move on.
I just took you how I saw and heard you.
Now you have become mine all over again, happy for how long? 25.4.2002
I loved you for far too long.
Our love is far long and too strong to let go of one another.
I have got to know you far too well.
When you broke my heart the pain hurt too hard to talk about.
I treasured the happy memories of having spent happy times together.
Now you are making me happier than you did before.
I used to put on a brave face to show the world I was strong enough to be without you.26.4.2002
Life without you.After so long together it's been so hard been apart.
I missed you so much and I have known you far too long to carry on being apart from you.
When I look at you very close, I know that I had been hiding my love for you so long. 26.4.2002
I have got to know you far too well.
When you broke my heart the pain hurt too hard to talk about.
I treasured the happy memories of having spent happy times together.
Now you are making me happier than you did before.
I used to put on a brave face to show the world I was strong enough to be without you.26.4.2002
Life without you.After so long together it's been so hard been apart.
I missed you so much and I have known you far too long to carry on being apart from you.
When I look at you very close, I know that I had been hiding my love for you so long. 26.4.2002
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