Website poems and some published poems.

All about my poems.

You may wonder why I write about love a lot in my poetry.I started writing poetry in 1997 at the age of 27 nearly 28. My relationship had broken up with Anthony very badly at that time.
Not every poem is only about Anthony, there are poems about many other friendships and relationships too. ( The good and the bad times.)

One day I was walking along Bilston college library, looking at poetry books without planning to. Suddenly I found myself reading John Keat's poems, his work was connected with what I was going through at the time. I studied his worked and wrote my own poems, which helped me learn how to come to terms with my break down over my relationship at that time. When I think about it now I shouldn't have taken it as hard as I did but If I didn't, I question would I have written poetry? To be truthful, I don't know.

I do write about other things but I sent a lot of work off to publishers, they chose my love poems. The publishers I used was Poetry Now. They wanted me to write about people homeless at Christmas, so i wrote The Youngest Mind, which isn't not about me, it's about what could be going through the minds of homeless people not just at Christmas but all year round.


These poems haven't just been written. my last poem was published in 2002 and first was published 1998. I haven't given up poetry, I just haven't had luck with publishing since my first publishers charged too much.


No knows no one.


You made me to be in this world.
The first twenty-one years of my life you weren't there.
I was no one to you, at least it felt that way anyway.
You were no one to me, it seemed as if as I wasn't anyone to you because I never saw you.
when I first met you at the age of twenty - one, I thought we put the piece of the jigsaw together but I was wrong.
Now I feel as if a piece of jizsaw is missing in me again.
I think I have lost myself again.
Perhaps part of me was always been missing and always will be.
Why do I have a feeling that two human beings are missing out of my life too?
why do I have feeling that they are asking themselves unanswered questions like I did as a child?
I want to help them because I know how it feels, it's as if you are in the dark.
It's feels as I am feeling the same way again as I did as a child knowing that my half brother and sister are going through the same as I did.
I'm their half big sister, of course I want to be there for them and help them.
You aren't going to help them are you?
Don't you realise what you have done and how it has affected our minds?
The past doesn't matter, I've been there all my life.
I never knew why this had to be but it doesn't matter now, it's not about me, it's about my younger half brother and sister.
I am the past they are the present and future.
It's the present and the future, how do you think it's going to affect their lives?
why do I feel like the useless big half sister?
no one knows no one, it's all a mystery. 2008


Why can't we?

I'm speaking for the rights of people with disabilities.
If we haven't got those those rights we should have them.
we should should be treated equally to non - disabled people.
Some people have these rights others don't.
We know it can never be a perfect world but it can be an equal work.
How many of us live a lone?
How many of us still live with our families?
How many of us have families of our own?
How many of us work?
How many of us don't work?
How many of us are on benefit trap?
How many of us are in education?
How many of us live like non - disabled people but with the right support?
We all understand funding can be a problem but the government should spend the money on the right things for people's rights.
I've been asking these questions all my life but never really got any real answers. 2008

Mind blindness.

In our minds, we can spend our lives feeling angry with ourselves.
Some people think we want to hurt their feelings because of what we say, what we may not say, what we do and what we may not do but we don't.
It's hard for people to understand us unless they have Autism themselves.
Don't get us wrong not everything is done by accident, we all have faults like everyone.
We make mistakes and regret things like everyone else.
Autism isn't an excuse for anything, Autism is our disability, Mind Blindness and Unawareness is how it affects our lives.
Autism can affect friendships, relationships, even family relationships and perhaps the whole world around us. 2008


Feeling guilty. 

Autism can make us feel guilty.
It's too easy to be unaware of what we do and don't say.
It's too easy to be unaware of what we do and don't do.
What's planned in your mind comes out wrong or and even the wrong way round.
The things come across to people as not good but isn't planned in your mind.
It's not that you don't know right from wrong, what's planned to be one thing is seen as another from most people's point a view. In a sense it's like writing an essay.
Nobody can be blamed for misunderstanding us but we can't be blamed for having Autism.
That doesn't mean we want to be the centre of attention, we just want to be accepted in society the same as everyone.
We just want to be equal to everyone at the end of the day. 2008

A new world for people with disabilities.

Think about the amount of books we have tried to read but the print is too hazy, small or and the stories are hard to understand.
Words jump off the page and your eyes start to stain.
We don't mean to make life hard but we have missed out on a lot of stories that we didn't understand.
We would like to make these stories more clear to understand like easy words and easy pictures for the next generation of people with disabilities.
Let's support people with disabilities to have equal lives to everyone!
Let's opens new doors! 2008


Easy world for people with disabilities.


I love poetry like music, some poems I like others I don't.
It's like everything in life really.
One thing though, not a lot of poetry is written about people with disabilities, why is that?
Can't we communicate in your way of thinking?
Let's have a bit of fun!
Easy pictures.
Easy words.
Let's play around with coloured paper! 2008

Homeless younest mind.

Nobody in my family loves me.
I know I could have been very naughty, but there is no need for my family to kick me out on the streets.
I am very frightened to go back home, but I know my family don't want me.
I know I made a big mistake in thinking I could cope to find my own home, I just wanted to be an adult far too quickly.
I realise now I was wrong thinking I could cope.
I can't find any food to eat, but bits and piece of bread.
I am sleeping on the hard street floors, but some nights I sleep in cardboard boxes. 1997 to 2008


There are so many lonely people.
In this world we do not realise that there are so many lonely people.
These lonely get out of bed every single morning.
Living a life that seems so dull and boring.
These lonely people do not have family or friends to talk to and see.
When you see the lonely people, they seem more happy than lucky us.
They have such lovely smiles on their faces.
Where these lonely lonely people come from?
What on earth can anyone or "The Happy Society" do for them? 1997 to 2008

This is a real world, not a dream world.

In fairlytale stories they say you have to kiss a good many ugly frogs to find your handsome Prince.
In my case I believe I have kissed handsome princes who have turned into ugly frogs.
Believe me, believe me not, I think my days of kissing handsome princes have gone.
Because I fear every handsome prince I kiss will turn into an ugly frog.

All the lovely things I used to dream, I thought would come true.
Now I am unhappy that everything I ever wanted hasn't happened to me and no chance will it be.
I blame myself, I fell in love far too young.
Little did I know everything was going to turn out wrong.
Now I can't love at all, because I am frightened of getting hurt again.
A male and female friendship forever more.
I must keep away from those ugly frogs. 1997 to 2008.


Good friendship.


This may be only friendly love, but to me it is good enough.
I don't think you need a boyfriend and girlfriend to love.
Male and female can still share a friendship to love.
My friendship will be here with you for however long you want me to be close to you.
I will never go away from you, unless you want me to.
I know we have been through the same thing, I know what you are going through.
Trying to move on from the people you love or loved is very hard to do, but somehow we must get on with our lives and get through.
We must try and see a future for ourselves the best way we can, but believe me I do understand that is very hard to do but all the same we must get through. 1997 to 2008

Gulity and hiding from the truth.

Going quiet on people when they talk.
Never caring about people's feelings.
Lying to hide away from the truth, because the truth hurts one.
One is shamed, one is in the wrong.
For one to tell one, but to get someone else to tell one. 1997 to 2008.


I love you, do you love me too?

Your hair is blonde, so soft and thick.
Many times I have reached out for your love to tell you.
" Darling I love you so true."
The problem is that you are not with me a lot to say.
" I love you so true too.
Now I have to wait until I see you again.

I love you so true.
I hope and pray to god that you love me to so true too, but I think or know you do.
Three little words saying I love you can make you feel so special.
So can those three little letters.
Poetry is not where I can spell those three little or big words. 1997 to 2008

Lost Love.

There's nothing you can do when you lose the person you love.
All you can do is learn to move on and meet a new love.
When long love is lost it's hard to move on.
No matter how hard it is you must move on.
When short love can come before you look.
It is so important to be loved.
Love can't be made, unless you make it.
When love goes down the drain, it can't always be saved.
For goodness sake you must be brave enough to love again.
Love can cause you so much anger, hurt and pain.
Sometimes it's hard to love again.
Sometimes it's hard to live without love and be lonely.
Without love in many ways, life isn't the same. 1997 to 2008

I love my man and he loves me. 

I love my man he loves me.
I care such a lot about him and he cares such a lot about me.
Ups and downs are to come that is part of life to be.
If it's to be it will be, if it's not to be it won't be.
I hope and pray it will be.

Upsets are sure to happen, but I hope between us we will do our very best to put whatever problem we have right.
He isn't just my lover, he is also my best friend out of all males.
I'm sure and hope that he feels the same way as I do about him.
I hope and pray that we, what future we have to be, brings us love, relationship and friendship. 1997 to 2008 

Crying out for love.

I must move on again.
Please give me any reason why I shouldn't love someone and someone should love me?
Why do I feel as if my days of love and romance has gone for me?
Is there something wrong with me?
How can I share love when no one is there to share love with?
I can't give love to someone when he isn't there to have love from me.
Whoever you may be, if you're faithful, kind and good looking please come to me?
I don't mind having seriour or play full love, as long as someone can give me some kind of love, I will be happy to play or stay in whatever way.
Just any kind of passion that comes my way.
I don't mind playing the field or having forever love. 1997 to 2008

My longest true love.

My true love once had a heart that gave me so much love.

I had this heart and I really truly enjoyed his love.

Now he doesn't have a heart anymore, because he isn't now my love.

He's now with someone forever and for good.

He's not my true love anymore, but he was my first serious love.

That I will never, ever forget.

I don't think he will find another love like me again.

I don't think I will find another love like him again. 1997 to 2008

Dragon

Watch your ps and qs when you are talking to the dragon.
She may well blow smoke at you and burn you if you get on the wrong side of her, she can have the Irish dragon inside her.
Don't be put off by her, she has a nice side too.  2002

People.

We are all human beings.
We all have different nationalities.
Most people have white skin.
Some people have black skin.
Other people have brown skin.
Some people believe in god others don't.
Some people go to church others don't.
Why don't we just accept each other for the way we all are?
Life is hard enough without making it worse.
Some people have choose to be who they are and what they, others don't have any choose at all.
Just because one person is black and the other person is white, it doesn't mean they are not alright.
I understand that not everyone gets on but you can't take away the way they are or their equal rights. 2003

Peace and love

You have the right to know what people say and think about you but
keep your thoughts to yourself, just walk away!
Why risk been locked away from the world, it's not worth it for anyone.
No need to hurt or kill.
Why take your anger out on people who are harmless to you, be strong.
Stick to your own thoughts in life: let others stick to theirs. 2003

We all have to go by the rules of the law.
We are all prisoners of war in our own counties wherever we are from.
We are always dreaming of a peaceful and lovable world.
Not a greedy or hateful world.

Why do we hurt and kill one another?
Why can't we respect one another for being human beings?
Why can't we keep away from one another if don't like one another?
Why waist our lives behind bars when there are so many good things to see and look forward to?
No world needs to be perfect but why not give peaces and love rather than war? 2008

Our dull grey weather. 

Although today the weather changes very quickly from hot to cold all over the UK, the sky in the Black Country changing from black to white but very rarely blue these days. You always miss the black, white, dull or grey sky turning to blue, I wonder why? Today you never see the sky without a cloud. Most of the time the weather doesn't tell you the truth. Never believe it if the sky is blue in the Black Country, that it's warm enough or hot enough outside. Never believe it when the sky is grey, black, white or and dull that the weather is cold. Carry your coat or put it in a bag just in case because you can go hot and cold in seconds, in fact less time than that at times. The Black Country started off with smoke and coal, now it's turn to thunder and rain that has washed out the old coal fires, may be a little sun if we're lucky. 2008 

Having a learning disability.

This world is confusing and unexplained.
I used to think a lot of negative, now I'm learning to think positive.
Most people look at people with learning disabilities in a strange way
If you look disabled, some people discriminate you more.
If you don't look disabled, they will not be able to understand why you don't understand they, I don't realise that you have communicate needs but they have too if they don't understand you.
Lack of communicate can be a cause why friendships and relationships are so hard to have or even keep.
Their needs to be a lot of education from people with learning disabilities to main stream people understand them or including myself us.
A learning disability could have happened to you.
We're human too, are you?

Many of us have wondered why we are here if life is like this.
Why do you make us feel like the odd ones out when we have one another who understand each other? 2008

What does it feel like to have a learning disability?

I used to bang my head against a brick wall but not anymore.

Now I put my head up high up to the sky.

I still feel angry, weak and useless to society but as I achieve more skills it gets less each and every day.

There comes a point you get fed up of being in your own world, you want to help others like yourself.

Now I feel strong enough to help others like me.

I hope you receive more support than what I did, I hope life isn't too hard for you. 2008