Looking at understanding depression in a different way.

 

Introduction to me and poetry.

 

My name is Sara Jane Gorman, I enjoy writing poetry which I have been writing since 1997 even though I wrote my first poem back in 1993. My poetry started from an emotional broken-down relationship, which has moved from now. My poems are about other topics as well as love, romance, and heartache.

A lot of my work is based around feelings not just about me others too and raising awareness of mental health in everyone.

Over years mental health has been misunderstood and judged so much on for people for being what they are not.

Not everyone’s reason is for being as they are to lie and hide from others but not seek attention, but they do not want to be felt sorry for. It is rather concerning in people who do not show emotional and sadness in front of others but there is no shame, it is their choice and their way of dealing with life.

Most of those sorts of people have more than a sense of humor, make people laugh without even thinking but very rarely or not at all people ever see these people down in their selves but does not mean they ever are. In fact, their probley are more so behind closed doors, than those who open up emotionally in front of people.

 

 

 These people most naturally talented as entertainers, comics, which not all are in that sort of career. Some people become famous such as Tommy Copper, Tony Handcock, etc.

 

Therefore, never think of depression as someone whose happy or sad all the time either.

 I myself tend to be open to my emotions and I remember I had when I had my mental breakdown, which lasted 12 months. Naturally, through that time period, I admit 99 percent of the time I was down a lot and I came across mostly people saying, and most did not know me all that well. Many said it sounds like in so many words you have been a complete miserably all your life. At the time it made me even more down than I was, but I never thought of it been judgemental but thinking about it now it probley was. At the time it was unexplainable, and I tried my hardest to come out of it, but it took what seemed like a like a long time and I guess it was to what I was used but it could have been longer. In time with counsel ring and when I inexpertly went towards writing poetry it started to improve.

 

 

 

For those who show their emotions do not necessarily want to be felt sorry for but it is more that they are open about their emotions so it should not be misunderstood either way.

 

If people show their emotional or really the opposite is told they are too much bother to others, they are seeking attention etc. The risk is that both sorts of people just may not ask for help, try, and deal with it themselves, which may be the risk is too hard for them to cope with where others are wondering why they did not try to get help all because without trying to make others feel guilty, the person may feel as if they are being judged without anyone meaning to make them feel that way.

 

Just to say I no professional, psychologist etc but someone who faces Anxiety and Depression myself.   

 

 

 

 

 

NO ONE KNOWS NO ONE.

 

You made me be in this world.
The first twenty-one years of my life you weren't there.
I was no one to you, at least it felt that way anyway.
You were no one to me, it seemed as if as I wasn't anyone to you because I never saw you.
when I first met you at the age of twenty - one, I thought we put the piece of the jigsaw together but I was wrong.
Now I feel as if a piece of the jigsaw is missing in me again.
I think I have lost myself again.
Perhaps part of me was always been missing and always will be.
Why do I have a feeling that two human beings are missing out on my life too?
why do I have the feeling that they are asking themselves unanswered questions like I did as a child?
I want to help them because I know how it feels, it's as if you are in the dark.
It feels as I am feeling the same way again as I did as a child knowing that my half brother and sister are going through the same as I did.
I'm their half big sister, of course, I want to be there for them and help them.
You aren't going to help them, are you?
Don't you realize what you have done and how it has affected our minds?
The past doesn't matter, I've been there all my life.
I never knew why this had to be but it doesn't matter now, it's not about me, it's about my younger half brother and sister.
I am the past they are the present and future.
It's the present and the future, how do you think it's going to affect their lives?
why do I feel like the useless big half-sister?
no one knows no one, it's all a mystery.

 

Depression is not all sad and is not all happy.

 

We are just like everyone, we feel happy and we feel sad, the only difference is how often we feel as we do, how we behave, think, and deal with it.

Life is no more positive or negative than it is for anyone.

Just because we may smile, laugh at people, make people laugh does not mean there is no time we feel down and sad.

We have no intentions to lie and hide anything, we just do not want to bore people with what is bothering or to feel sorry for or to seek attention but at the same time, we feel negative inside.

Some of our emotional and open in front of others but we get misunderstood for seen as seeking attention the opposite way, but many tend to think we like to be felt sorry for which is not the case either, we do not intend to be.

 

Either way, it seems one cannot win to point on the side it can be understood for bottling what is on one’s mind up or most people may think one wants to be pitied for.

 

Therefore, I am not just speaking for me but those who face similar if not the same.

Either way, it does and does not mean someone is facing depression more so often they are feeling down in their selves which could with or without a reason.

 

Behind closed doors.

 

Happiness or sadness is not a lie or hiding anything, it is a feeling inside some of us show and others do not.

Speaking too much does not mean we want to seek attention or anyone to feel sorry for us.

Whether we show emotions or not, we just want to understand.

The person does not want to be the center of attention.

This is why most people do not show how they feel inside because they do not want to be any bothered to others and neither really do people the opposite way.

There is no winning between the two really to the point if someone does not say how they feel, where people think they bottle things up to a point they are at risk of breaking point, suicide, etc, which hugely concerning.

 

 

 

If someone talks a lot about how they feel, they are misunderstood as someone who wants everyone to feel sorry for them and to be a bother to everyone, which is not the case. Mostly they feel they cannot win to a point whatever is on one’s mind get worse and without being over the top, being in risk of leaving others the opposite way if they do not try to get help.