Behind the mask.
Smiles and laughs don't mean we are feeling completely happy, we are just trying to manage in life and we have no intentions of being fake either.
Never judge anyone for feeling however they may feel, no one should feel ashamed or guilty but remember those around you have feelings too.
There are times most people find it hard to say how they feel without being misunderstood or and fearing they may take it out on others without meaning to.
However, we are all human no one is perfect not everything is down to Mental illness, etc but Mental illness, etc doesn't help us either.
Never guess or and judge anything or and anyone you don't know.
The happiness you may see but underneath there may be a great of sadness, which is unknown unless one says but they shouldn't be forced to say either.
Want to end the pain, not life.
We are what we are and who we are.
Life around us isn't necessarily the cause of the way we are feeling, in most of us the answers are unknown to ourselves even to why we may feel as we may do.
We just want the negative feeling to end and most of us struggle to know how to go about moving forward and positive, which may take a short, long time, or never.
Ending life seems to the person feeling as they do like the only way out of ending how they feel and most of us can only see that way of dealing with it.
Never think we don't think of those left behind because we do.
Despite of counseling, therapy, emotional support, etc, there is even though most of us don't know who would find counseling, therapy, emotional support, etc is a challenge for them to look into let alone go for.
I closed my eyes.
I closed my eyes last night at the end of the night, with no sign of sleep for hours after I turned off the light.
The darks black clouds and shadows came over me underneath the sheets.
Now living in fear as my black pen writes not able to keep up with the thinking of my mind.
So many black shadows and clouds I see inside my closed eyes and racing mind.
The mind is talking.
Call me mad, call me insane but there should be no shame of thinking talking mind, many would say the first sign of madness but one shouldn't judge a book by its cover.
Many would say the monster mask inside and out the anxious mind.
I hear voices in my mind that can either talk a long time or go completely blank a lot.
The voices tell me I am sad, bad, crazy, and mad, it takes me a long time to think otherwise.
If the world thinks the same as my mind, it is a challenge for me to stop my mind from thinking and even talking a lot.
It's all in my mind so they may say, there's no way it will go away hay, hay-like the devil eating up inside.
Who am I, who are you?
Who am I, I am nothing but just me.
No one else and nothing else but I am human not an item or an object.
What I write is words not poems every day, well not every day only when I have words in mind to write.
My mind cannot be thinking about death as I keep on telling my mind to shut up.
It's just the negative that I feel inside but then let's look on the bright side new year has started and spring is yet to come.
Bring on the green monkey that swings by its green leaves tree to tree eating his bananas.
Depression no you don't beat me.
Depression you beat me but then you don't.
You are like water crying in my mind and there is no reason for you to make me feel this way.
You make me negative but then you don't I am not all black and white because of you, you are not making others think of me otherwise.
You make me feel empty, lonely inside but then you don't because there's no reason to.
You try to stop me from doing the things I want to do but then you don't because I won't let you stop me.
I fight with under sleep and overeating because of you but somehow and in some way I get through.
You make me feel hopeless and anxious but then you don't I get through.
You are like a voice in my mind I battle through my mind twenty - four seven.
Yes, you can get to me then you don't because poetry is my therapy.
There's no one side.
Life is not all negative, it is positive too.
The dull grey rainy sky becomes the bright yellow sun, sand, and blue sea.
Happy new year to you all, drink until your heart is content but don't need to drink to write poetry.
one is neither right nor wrong in one's state of mind.
One is not necessary who and what you see, one can be so easily misunderstood.
Mixed up and scared of what may happen the unexcepted or and the unknown.
Like they see no other way of managing feelings other than ending one's life, where they find it hard to see the way forward and the bright side of life.
Unknown thinking.
One feels alone finding it hard to see that they are not alone.
Aware of all night thinking random thoughts going through one's head, trying not to dread and trying not to feel as if you want to be dead.
Trying to think positive is not easy when you feel so low.
Struggling to sleep as you turn off the light, without meaning to you overthink or and even over worry, which is a panicky scary feeling.
Not everyone you like, love, etc you can always have in your life and trust forever, some people in time let us down.
For most of us, it can be a struggle to get used to those who let down been out our lives but we learn we don't need them, which is we thought we knew them but we didn't but not everyone is the same.
Don't give up.
Things won't go wrong all the while and things won't go right all the while.
Even when you are okay there could be struggles along the way, most things could even wait another day, what do you say?
Being unsuccessful doesn't make you a failure, most people may think you are but they are only talking about themselves, don't let them run you down.
Most people learn from their mistakes so will you.
Every cloud has a silver lining.
What seems so far away may be closer than you think.
Try not to give up the way forward sooner than it seems.
Mental health speaks.
Fear is a worry, fear is panic, fear is a scar.
We tend to be afraid of what may happen and or afraid of the unknown.
Those who try to control the world try to control our minds.
Death hurts those left behind as much as those who are feeling they are taking their own lives.
Never judge those who say they feel as if they are feeling as they going to take their lives, they are not selfish, they don't want to end their lives, they want to end their sadness, anger, and pain.
They are struggling to find ways to cope.
Never force a voice to speak or not to speak, they will say what's on their mind they want, who they tell or and don't is their choice too.
No one needs to be a counselor, therapist, ofter emotional support, etc, friends or and family can offer help too, etc.
Poetry says
Poetry says nothing but words and sentences, which is the purpose of saying what is on the mind.
To say what one thinks of life around, how they feel, what they see etc.
The voice and thoughts that speak poetry.
December and Xmas have been and gone pointless money spent only for one day Xmas day, now a new year is here and spring is on its way.
January, February, winterly snowy months, and cold but spring and summer are yet to come.
The blue sky, bright yellow sun, the sand and sea on the beach.
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