Poems
on disabilities and health problems part 2.
At
Life seems worthless but goes on.
I don't have anything in mind to wish.
When I sleep I dream about the love I used to have.
I can't dream about anything that is happening now because there's nothing happening.
My world seems empty, my head feels full of pain and I don't know what to make of this life I have now.
I don't know what will make me happy now.
I am not saying I am not happy but I can't think what I want in life.
To me everything is new.
I don't know what to do until a new day comes my way.
Some days I feel happy.
Other days I feel sad.
Most days I could laugh.
Other days I could cry.
Other days I could have anger.
Others day I could be mad.
I don't have anything in mind to wish.
When I sleep I dream about the love I used to have.
I can't dream about anything that is happening now because there's nothing happening.
My world seems empty, my head feels full of pain and I don't know what to make of this life I have now.
I don't know what will make me happy now.
I am not saying I am not happy but I can't think what I want in life.
To me everything is new.
I don't know what to do until a new day comes my way.
Some days I feel happy.
Other days I feel sad.
Most days I could laugh.
Other days I could cry.
Other days I could have anger.
Others day I could be mad.
It’s hard to
understand your feelings can change from happy to sad whether you have a reason
to be one or the other or not.
I mostly have my days of anger when I am by myself because I feel so mixed up in my mind.
I want one thing one day or the next. 20.8.1999
I mostly have my days of anger when I am by myself because I feel so mixed up in my mind.
I want one thing one day or the next. 20.8.1999
I hate going to
the dentist.
I
hate going to the dentist, I hate the hooks between my teeth.
It's
a good job the dentist is every six months, I don't think I could stand it
every day.
I
do not think I could take it very much. 1997 – 2000.
I
was woken by the wind.
I was woken by the singing wild wind.
The rain and the wind seem like a big thing.
This has seemed to be heavy which such a pain on the window pane is.
The snow snowed with rain but didn't stick.
Hot summers have long gone.
I was woken by the singing wild wind.
The rain and the wind seem like a big thing.
This has seemed to be heavy which such a pain on the window pane is.
The snow snowed with rain but didn't stick.
Hot summers have long gone.
Long
cold winters yet to come.
The weather has a mind of us own just like we human beings.
Very few if not any stars in the sky like it used to be.
There are most things so unknown that so many questions are never ever answered in this life. 23.12014
There's
no perfect life.
Little time we have together we make most of every moment we have got when we do.
You’re far too special to me to not have you in my life.
Now you have become more than friend you are my lover.
Thanks to you babe I am happier than I have ever been.
You have changed my world.
Now matter how hard we try, there's no perfect life.
Good days, bad days, happy days, sad days, angrily and laughing days.
Little time we have together we make most of every moment we have got when we do.
You’re far too special to me to not have you in my life.
Now you have become more than friend you are my lover.
Thanks to you babe I am happier than I have ever been.
You have changed my world.
Now matter how hard we try, there's no perfect life.
Good days, bad days, happy days, sad days, angrily and laughing days.
Meaning of poetry.
Meaning of poetry is words.
Most people see poetry as boring cause a lot of words are truth of very often not what most people want to hear.
Not necessary the truth is boring when there are things most people want to hear.
We can talk forever.
We can think forever.
We can write forever.
We can read forever.
Whether or not a poet's work is boring it's down to the poet not to be boring so the reader is interested but then it depends what the reader is interested in.
The truth is down on paper from the poet's mind and down to the reader's taste of lines in what the poet says. 24.2.2014
meaning of writing.
From the time the teacher hit me with the ruler because I forget to miss a line between the date and title in handwriting.
I had to write lines saying mustn't forget to miss a line between the date and title.
The school led me to believe I was thick because they didn't understand that I found it hard to learn.
In the end I wrote lines that came from my mind some even rhymed. 24.2.2014
Meaning of poetry is words.
Most people see poetry as boring cause a lot of words are truth of very often not what most people want to hear.
Not necessary the truth is boring when there are things most people want to hear.
We can talk forever.
We can think forever.
We can write forever.
We can read forever.
Whether or not a poet's work is boring it's down to the poet not to be boring so the reader is interested but then it depends what the reader is interested in.
The truth is down on paper from the poet's mind and down to the reader's taste of lines in what the poet says. 24.2.2014
meaning of writing.
From the time the teacher hit me with the ruler because I forget to miss a line between the date and title in handwriting.
I had to write lines saying mustn't forget to miss a line between the date and title.
The school led me to believe I was thick because they didn't understand that I found it hard to learn.
In the end I wrote lines that came from my mind some even rhymed. 24.2.2014
Depression.
Depression is a feeling sad with or without a
reason.
If we are honest we all suffer from depression our way not know how we are going to feel each and every day, even throughout each and every day in our own way.
When you listen, read, speak or write the word depression seems so black and white.
Like the world the word depression isn't all black and white when one’s emotions can change one feeling to the other.
Most if not all of us get good and bad days.
We feel up and down in our own way.
It's not easy to understand life.
It's not easy to understand the mind to why we think what, how and why we do.
It can be hard to understand each other too.
In the end we make life hard for each and ourselves without meaning to.
No one can say how long or short the bad times are. 25.2.2014
If we are honest we all suffer from depression our way not know how we are going to feel each and every day, even throughout each and every day in our own way.
When you listen, read, speak or write the word depression seems so black and white.
Like the world the word depression isn't all black and white when one’s emotions can change one feeling to the other.
Most if not all of us get good and bad days.
We feel up and down in our own way.
It's not easy to understand life.
It's not easy to understand the mind to why we think what, how and why we do.
It can be hard to understand each other too.
In the end we make life hard for each and ourselves without meaning to.
No one can say how long or short the bad times are. 25.2.2014
Words.
The words I write come from pen to paper then I type.
No thoughts of talent, writing is just another way of saying what you are going to say.
There's no easy to communicate.
There's no easy way to understand.
Each and every of communicating is different.
What's written and read counts.
Writing is just writing your thoughts until you can think no more but then with time thoughts come back again.
You can't think forever.
You can't write forever.
Write away until the ink in the pen runs out, very often when you change your pen thoughts are forgotten or new thoughts come. 25.2.2014
everyone has words.
The ink is running out in the pen.
Everyone has thoughts and words that come and go through the mind.
You don't need to be special, famous and you don't need to be talented.
Just write what's in your mind and what you want to say, and then it's done!
Don't think about what's going to or not going to when you say it, what happens.
Stand up to those who won't give you a chance in life, to those who won't give you the time of day.
Show them you are you. 25.2.2014
The words I write come from pen to paper then I type.
No thoughts of talent, writing is just another way of saying what you are going to say.
There's no easy to communicate.
There's no easy way to understand.
Each and every of communicating is different.
What's written and read counts.
Writing is just writing your thoughts until you can think no more but then with time thoughts come back again.
You can't think forever.
You can't write forever.
Write away until the ink in the pen runs out, very often when you change your pen thoughts are forgotten or new thoughts come. 25.2.2014
everyone has words.
The ink is running out in the pen.
Everyone has thoughts and words that come and go through the mind.
You don't need to be special, famous and you don't need to be talented.
Just write what's in your mind and what you want to say, and then it's done!
Don't think about what's going to or not going to when you say it, what happens.
Stand up to those who won't give you a chance in life, to those who won't give you the time of day.
Show them you are you. 25.2.2014
Lost my words but I am making them up again.
I lost my words in my mind because I had to turn my mind elsewhere.
Now I am back to tell over a thousand words more before I stopped writing.
It's not about chasing fame and money it's about the interest in my mind.
What are your thoughts when you read my words that come from my mind?
Everyone has a book in their mind it doesn't mean everyone will write a book though.
Why we have the stress of everyone knowing your business of other parts of your life?
Too much stress when you’re poor to get rich.
The interest what matters.
Whatever happens? 25.2.2014
I lost my words in my mind because I had to turn my mind elsewhere.
Now I am back to tell over a thousand words more before I stopped writing.
It's not about chasing fame and money it's about the interest in my mind.
What are your thoughts when you read my words that come from my mind?
Everyone has a book in their mind it doesn't mean everyone will write a book though.
Why we have the stress of everyone knowing your business of other parts of your life?
Too much stress when you’re poor to get rich.
The interest what matters.
Whatever happens? 25.2.2014
John
Keats.
The heartbreak of whatever was going through John Keats's mind for him to have wrote the poetry he though must have been the only way he coped with his life.
When I first picked up his poetry book I hadn't got a clue who John Keats was and what he wrote.
Despite of my interest in writing I have never been much of a reader but then John Keats’s work inspired me a lot.
Thought of poetry never crossed my mind till I read John Keats's work one of his words inspired me to write over a thousand of my own words.
My work isn't poetry or talent, its words and thoughts going through my mind.
I shouldn't have had to be inspired by anyone because John Keats was going through the same thing as me at different time, I just didn't think of writing words until I read John Keats's work. 25.2.2014
I could see it coming.
I saw the black and grey clouds under the sky the other night.
The clouds move up and up one by one through the sky.
I had a feeling the storm was breaking but I went to bed from then on so I never knew whether there was rain or not. 25.2.2014
I should have seen.
I must have gone around with my eyes closed.
If only I knew why I felt the way I did for him.
If only knew why I loved him for so long and so strong.
I don't know why I put myself through such good and bad.
How could I have thought he was the man for me?
I won't be the first I won't be the last to be blind to love. 25.2.2014
The heartbreak of whatever was going through John Keats's mind for him to have wrote the poetry he though must have been the only way he coped with his life.
When I first picked up his poetry book I hadn't got a clue who John Keats was and what he wrote.
Despite of my interest in writing I have never been much of a reader but then John Keats’s work inspired me a lot.
Thought of poetry never crossed my mind till I read John Keats's work one of his words inspired me to write over a thousand of my own words.
My work isn't poetry or talent, its words and thoughts going through my mind.
I shouldn't have had to be inspired by anyone because John Keats was going through the same thing as me at different time, I just didn't think of writing words until I read John Keats's work. 25.2.2014
I could see it coming.
I saw the black and grey clouds under the sky the other night.
The clouds move up and up one by one through the sky.
I had a feeling the storm was breaking but I went to bed from then on so I never knew whether there was rain or not. 25.2.2014
I should have seen.
I must have gone around with my eyes closed.
If only I knew why I felt the way I did for him.
If only knew why I loved him for so long and so strong.
I don't know why I put myself through such good and bad.
How could I have thought he was the man for me?
I won't be the first I won't be the last to be blind to love. 25.2.2014
The government.
I don't mean to bore you readers I hate writing about the government as much as you hate reading about them.
There again your voices have the rights to be heard.
As a learning disability, Mental Health awareness trainer and Advocate the government sadly comes into my job.
Those in the wrong can’t face the truth.
They are cowards and they know the mess they have put this country.
They are tight and greedy with money and making cuts all round the country.
They need to know what it's like to be disabled and ill.
They need to know the lives of disabled and ill people are as important other peoples.
There's a feeling of disabled and ill people being blame for the way we are.
No human asks to come into the world let alone be disabled and unwell.
We just need the rights of the help and support we need.
We want to work more than most non disabled people want.
If it's lift to the government they will let us work without support that we need yet if anything serious happens we would be still be blamed by the government, which is always the case.
I am just writing it how it is. 15.3.2014
Appeals.
What bad situation to put vulnerable people in.
With people win their appeals or not they still have to pay back loans if they have used them before their appeal.
This can bring people back to square one without having their benefits cut again.
People worry about whether or not they are going to manage, no wonder so many people suffer from Anxiety and depression.
This stress is far too much for people.
What is this government thinking?
They must all need their heads testing.
To put such vulnerable people who are in big danger of getting into debt and losing their lives mainly when a lot of people don't have any help and support anymore.
What about those people who really can't manage their own money yet they have lost their help and support?
This is a big crisis for all those who have lost their money.
Those who have lost and can't always get the amount that they need to pay back. 15.3.2014
What bad situation to put vulnerable people in.
With people win their appeals or not they still have to pay back loans if they have used them before their appeal.
This can bring people back to square one without having their benefits cut again.
People worry about whether or not they are going to manage, no wonder so many people suffer from Anxiety and depression.
This stress is far too much for people.
What is this government thinking?
They must all need their heads testing.
To put such vulnerable people who are in big danger of getting into debt and losing their lives mainly when a lot of people don't have any help and support anymore.
What about those people who really can't manage their own money yet they have lost their help and support?
This is a big crisis for all those who have lost their money.
Those who have lost and can't always get the amount that they need to pay back. 15.3.2014
When you’re disabled.
When you’re disabled it's as if society treats you as if you are no one.
You are looked down on as hard work and costing too much money.
It's as if the whole world is against you but not everyone is.
It seems as if everyone is blaming you for being disabled and ill as well as been born.
It's as if everyone thinks negative of you but not everyone does.
Some people wrap you up in cotton wool but others put you in situations you can't manage.
Most people treat you as if you don't want to do anything but there are many people with nothing wrong with them who don't want to do anything at all.
There's so much misunderstanding in this world. 27.4.2014
When you’re disabled it's as if society treats you as if you are no one.
You are looked down on as hard work and costing too much money.
It's as if the whole world is against you but not everyone is.
It seems as if everyone is blaming you for being disabled and ill as well as been born.
It's as if everyone thinks negative of you but not everyone does.
Some people wrap you up in cotton wool but others put you in situations you can't manage.
Most people treat you as if you don't want to do anything but there are many people with nothing wrong with them who don't want to do anything at all.
There's so much misunderstanding in this world. 27.4.2014
Good and bad in me like everyone.
It's just my way of coping with the stress and worries in my life.
It's so wrong, selfish and bad I know.
I just don't know way of coping, which is selfish we are all in the same boat.
I'm aware there more than likely be no looking back, I'd be so lucky to get a second chance to life.
If I get my life again I mustn't abuse myself to death.
Very often depression is something no one knows who doesn't live with it yet it's hard to explain why feel life is not living.
Well you go through well spells when you feel yourself then you start to feel a sense of shame and guilt of what you are putting others through who know you and love you.
I don't want to leave anyone sad then I'm no one special.
I'm not begging for forgiveness of my guilt and shame.
It doesn't make it right but there's good and bad in everyone.
I accept no credit to praise for my talent, it's not talents it's my words and thoughts that can't please everyone.
No one is liked or and loved from the whole world.
Only true words help me cope with my life through the good and the bad.
I'm not chasing money and fame, which is no game and joke.
My words are there for those of you who want to read them.
It's just my way of coping with the stress and worries in my life.
It's so wrong, selfish and bad I know.
I just don't know way of coping, which is selfish we are all in the same boat.
I'm aware there more than likely be no looking back, I'd be so lucky to get a second chance to life.
If I get my life again I mustn't abuse myself to death.
Very often depression is something no one knows who doesn't live with it yet it's hard to explain why feel life is not living.
Well you go through well spells when you feel yourself then you start to feel a sense of shame and guilt of what you are putting others through who know you and love you.
I don't want to leave anyone sad then I'm no one special.
I'm not begging for forgiveness of my guilt and shame.
It doesn't make it right but there's good and bad in everyone.
I accept no credit to praise for my talent, it's not talents it's my words and thoughts that can't please everyone.
No one is liked or and loved from the whole world.
Only true words help me cope with my life through the good and the bad.
I'm not chasing money and fame, which is no game and joke.
My words are there for those of you who want to read them.
I'm
no one special because I have a way with words.
Good or bad they are my true feelings and thoughts.
I don't lie about anything that's true but my stories are in stories.
My words are nothing worth spending money on just read them if you want.
Some of you may agree others may disagree but not all the same in everything I say.
I'm not perfect because no one is but I'm not a completely dull person either.
I'm just human like all of you. 1st June 2014
Good or bad they are my true feelings and thoughts.
I don't lie about anything that's true but my stories are in stories.
My words are nothing worth spending money on just read them if you want.
Some of you may agree others may disagree but not all the same in everything I say.
I'm not perfect because no one is but I'm not a completely dull person either.
I'm just human like all of you. 1st June 2014
Time
to fly.
When you hear the wind and the rain think of me flying the air but remember I'm no one special.
Read my words to see how I look at life.
You might not be always being happy with what I say but they are my thoughts and feelings to life.
Everyone is different in how we think and feel about life but others may think the same as each other but not all.
Think of me as a bird or a kite or even both.
I don't except you all to like.
No one can be liked by everyone.
There are different people.
When you hear the wind and the rain think of me flying the air but remember I'm no one special.
Read my words to see how I look at life.
You might not be always being happy with what I say but they are my thoughts and feelings to life.
Everyone is different in how we think and feel about life but others may think the same as each other but not all.
Think of me as a bird or a kite or even both.
I don't except you all to like.
No one can be liked by everyone.
There are different people.
There
are different tastes.
There
are different styles.
The
world would be a boring place if it was all the same. 1st June 2014
Anxiety is Anger with the wind.
Anxiety is the wrong feeling inside as it
cuts you up inside.
When
you have Anxiety you feel as if you are out of your mind.
You
can feel angrily at any time with or without a reason.
You
blow up like the wind then you feel guilty after you have felt that way mainly
when it’s without a reason.
May be I was wrong to think you left me for someone else.
May be it was all in my mind but then you were messing with my mind.
Anxiety is like the storm, rain and wind.
I hate feeling angrily, I’m not angrily with the world, and I’m angrily with Anxiety.
Anxiety kicks me inside and cuts me up like a knife. 1st June 2014
May be I was wrong to think you left me for someone else.
May be it was all in my mind but then you were messing with my mind.
Anxiety is like the storm, rain and wind.
I hate feeling angrily, I’m not angrily with the world, and I’m angrily with Anxiety.
Anxiety kicks me inside and cuts me up like a knife. 1st June 2014
Can't
believe you’re gone.
Here I am still writing this poem about you.
Even though I knew you were unwell, I still can't believe you've gone.
Here I am still writing this poem about you.
Even though I knew you were unwell, I still can't believe you've gone.
Even
though I didn't see a lot of you through our adulthood, I can believe I won't
ever see you again.
I only wish we saw each as much as adults as we did as kids.
It just shows you learn life is far too short yet when you’re a kid, you think you have got all the time in the world just like we did.
We had always been friends and we always will be even though you have gone.
Molly my longest friend ever since I was very young.
We went to school together when we were so small and so young.
We are the age as each but I can't believe we won't see each other anymore.
I can't believe I knew you for forty years then suddenly you have gone.
To me there's no friend like you, Molly.
The friend who carried my clothes out of school in the hot summer of 1976, when I thoughtlessly took my clothes off at the age of six and a half. 30.6.2014
I only wish we saw each as much as adults as we did as kids.
It just shows you learn life is far too short yet when you’re a kid, you think you have got all the time in the world just like we did.
We had always been friends and we always will be even though you have gone.
Molly my longest friend ever since I was very young.
We went to school together when we were so small and so young.
We are the age as each but I can't believe we won't see each other anymore.
I can't believe I knew you for forty years then suddenly you have gone.
To me there's no friend like you, Molly.
The friend who carried my clothes out of school in the hot summer of 1976, when I thoughtlessly took my clothes off at the age of six and a half. 30.6.2014
I forgot the poems
I wrote.
I lost the poems I
wrote somewhere.
Therefore I forgot
the poems I wrote and where.
What a quiet year
this time of year when people are on summer holidays yet not many of us have
the money to go.
It's space to
write my poems but not knowing what to write. 7.8.2014
I am what I am and who I am.
What I am and I am who I am.
If you don't like who and of what you see of
me then leave me be.
May be able I change some of the person I am in me.
One thing I can’t change is my disability and
health problems.
Not that all the person what and who I am is all
because of my disabilities and health problems.
I have to learn to not to care what
people think and say, which isn't always easy.
I even get things wrong too; I may misunderstand what you think about me.
I may not speak because I'm scared of saying and doing the wrong things to your mind, it won't mean what it seems.
I even get things wrong too; I may misunderstand what you think about me.
I may not speak because I'm scared of saying and doing the wrong things to your mind, it won't mean what it seems.
Sorry if I seem rude to you this is what I
don’t mean to be.
The world is too big for me and too many people; this is where I find it hard to communicate towards this big world of people.
My problem is finding it hard cope with too many things at once. 3. 1. 2012 – 20.8.2014
The world is too big for me and too many people; this is where I find it hard to communicate towards this big world of people.
My problem is finding it hard cope with too many things at once. 3. 1. 2012 – 20.8.2014
Anxiety and depression leave my mind alone!
Leave my mind alone.
Why get into my head?
Why am I fighting with you all the time?
Why is my head full of information twenty – four
hours a day yet it goes blank when I don’t need it to be?
It’s hard not to let you attack me Anxiety and
Depression but I am fighting with you the bad way I can, not every day is bad
for me.
You keep on walking in and out of my life like a
sharp knife.
You just put anger and pain on my mind all the time.
You are like poison floating through my mind.
I was far too blind at the time to see that you
were playing with my mind.
You play games with me like cat and mouse all the
time.
It never ever seems to end. 11. 11.14
I'm no poet; I just have a way with words.
I left school having learned nothing at all, nothing to please the eyes of society anyway.
Society taught me nothing at all.
When I wrote these words at twenty-seven years old
I was just classed as talking a load of rubbish not
classed as a poet but then I don't see myself as anyone special.
Society think of poets being boring, boring maybe but
then we are a boring because we tell the truth but the we are not lying
or telling the truth like everyone we are not always right like no one always is ,
we just have a way with words.
Disabled people poets in the eyes of society are a laughing stock,
I'm one of them but that doesn't make me bright but then I'm not thick either.
Society sees people with disabilities and health problems as
hard work and as if we should be named and shamed for the way we are,
we are not at fault to why we are as we are.
These things could have to anyone at any time,
how would life to be blamed and shamed for what's happened to you?
Our life matters just like yours does.
Society sees us as slow and thick
I'm a poet with disabilities who wasn't as a poet in school,
I'm no poet I just have a way with words.
I left school having learned nothing at all, nothing to please the eyes of society anyway.
Society taught me nothing at all.
When I wrote these words at twenty-seven years old
I was just classed as talking a load of rubbish not
classed as a poet but then I don't see myself as anyone special.
Society think of poets being boring, boring maybe but
then we are a boring because we tell the truth but the we are not lying
or telling the truth like everyone we are not always right like no one always is ,
we just have a way with words.
Disabled people poets in the eyes of society are a laughing stock,
I'm one of them but that doesn't make me bright but then I'm not thick either.
Society sees people with disabilities and health problems as
hard work and as if we should be named and shamed for the way we are,
we are not at fault to why we are as we are.
These things could have to anyone at any time,
how would life to be blamed and shamed for what's happened to you?
Our life matters just like yours does.
Society sees us as slow and thick
I'm a poet with disabilities who wasn't as a poet in school,
I'm no poet I just have a way with words.
I'm
not thick I’m not bright I'm just misunderstood for someone
I'm not just like others like me and not much different.
Poets are not poets, we are no one special, and we just have a way with words.
There must be plenty in my shoes who have their own skills and abilities.
Everyone has different abilities in different ways.
We all have weaknesses and strengths in different ways to each other. 30.11.2014
I'm not just like others like me and not much different.
Poets are not poets, we are no one special, and we just have a way with words.
There must be plenty in my shoes who have their own skills and abilities.
Everyone has different abilities in different ways.
We all have weaknesses and strengths in different ways to each other. 30.11.2014
All Dyslexia.
May be it's all our minds I admit to write and say but it's also all truth that has to be told.
Its dyslexic words that think too much or not at all.
Who says too much but then says nothing at all.
Who remembers too much but remember nothing at all.
Every day the brain is different which is why we are so hard
for a lot of non dyslexic to understand yet like all of
you we are not good and bad at the same things.
It's all Dyslexia poetry with me when my mind thinks too much, I'm a dyslexic poet.
My brain works when I have lot of ideas what to write then
I think too much otherwise I don't write at all
Letters in words are mostly in the wrong places but not all the time,
I don't get it wrong every single time.
Many things are written and said the wrong way round but not all the time.
Words jump off the page in small print when I read.
Mostly I can't remember what read.
Like I said I can vary from remembering a lot to nothing at
all. It depends on what I am reading and the day.
Every day is unknown what's going to be to me but
I can only guess for other people with Dyslexia too.
Number 62 becomes number 26.
Bb becomes Dd.
E becomes I instead of I after e.
Because becomes become.
Mn becomes Nn.
Rr becomes Mm.
Pp becomes Qq.
We don't get it wrong every single day.
Our brain works different each and every day.
Like all of you we are good and bad at different things.
Not all dyslexic people face the same problems or the same talents. 27.12.2014
May be it's all our minds I admit to write and say but it's also all truth that has to be told.
Its dyslexic words that think too much or not at all.
Who says too much but then says nothing at all.
Who remembers too much but remember nothing at all.
Every day the brain is different which is why we are so hard
for a lot of non dyslexic to understand yet like all of
you we are not good and bad at the same things.
It's all Dyslexia poetry with me when my mind thinks too much, I'm a dyslexic poet.
My brain works when I have lot of ideas what to write then
I think too much otherwise I don't write at all
Letters in words are mostly in the wrong places but not all the time,
I don't get it wrong every single time.
Many things are written and said the wrong way round but not all the time.
Words jump off the page in small print when I read.
Mostly I can't remember what read.
Like I said I can vary from remembering a lot to nothing at
all. It depends on what I am reading and the day.
Every day is unknown what's going to be to me but
I can only guess for other people with Dyslexia too.
Number 62 becomes number 26.
Bb becomes Dd.
E becomes I instead of I after e.
Because becomes become.
Mn becomes Nn.
Rr becomes Mm.
Pp becomes Qq.
We don't get it wrong every single day.
Our brain works different each and every day.
Like all of you we are good and bad at different things.
Not all dyslexic people face the same problems or the same talents. 27.12.2014
Dyslexic poet.
I'm a Dyslexic poet with a Dyslexic mind.
I write poetry because I think most of the time.
Too many words go through my mind or none at all.
At times the world can be so unkind, misunderstanding to not able to read and write.
I just say, do, write and think of things the wrong way round, I even miss things out.
I miss words out of sentences.
My dyslexia can vary from words I can't spell, words I can't read and words I can't recognize.
Put the right letters in the wrong places of words but it doesn't happen like this all the time.
Get 62 mixed up 26.
I don't always get things the wrong way round, every day is different.
None this is on purpose.
What makes me a Dyslexic poet?
I have thoughts when my mind isn't blank.
I say things far too long for others to have the time to listen to me.
I find very hard to put things in a short way.
This is why I need support in essays and assignments plus needing someone to proof read my work to see it makes sense.
I have weaknesses and I have talent.
I weaknesses are all the problems I face in being Dyslexic.
My talents are thought that go through my head that are words that are put into poetry.
My drawing and painting is my other ways of expressing what I think about. 27.12.2014
I'm a Dyslexic poet with a Dyslexic mind.
I write poetry because I think most of the time.
Too many words go through my mind or none at all.
At times the world can be so unkind, misunderstanding to not able to read and write.
I just say, do, write and think of things the wrong way round, I even miss things out.
I miss words out of sentences.
My dyslexia can vary from words I can't spell, words I can't read and words I can't recognize.
Put the right letters in the wrong places of words but it doesn't happen like this all the time.
Get 62 mixed up 26.
I don't always get things the wrong way round, every day is different.
None this is on purpose.
What makes me a Dyslexic poet?
I have thoughts when my mind isn't blank.
I say things far too long for others to have the time to listen to me.
I find very hard to put things in a short way.
This is why I need support in essays and assignments plus needing someone to proof read my work to see it makes sense.
I have weaknesses and I have talent.
I weaknesses are all the problems I face in being Dyslexic.
My talents are thought that go through my head that are words that are put into poetry.
My drawing and painting is my other ways of expressing what I think about. 27.12.2014
Introducing poetry.
I'm not introducing poetry I'm introducing poetry.
The way with words is what I have got I'm not a poet.
All words mean thing but too many of the same words mean
different things like two meaning number 2, too much meaning too, to me and you meaning too.
The English language is so hard yet clever when it's done.
Our thoughts can be strange that go through our mind.
We can express ourselves in so many different ways.
Different people find different ways to be understood.
My poetry and art to be my way to be understood otherwise too many of you I can go on too much.
Just stop reading if I'm boring you or if you have little or no time to right my work.
Many cut off the phone because they have no time to listen to me but
due to my dyslexia I find it hard to express myself in a short way.
My way to express is poetry and art, may be a novel one day
in a strange way sorry to say. 29.12.2014- 30.12. 2014
I'm not introducing poetry I'm introducing poetry.
The way with words is what I have got I'm not a poet.
All words mean thing but too many of the same words mean
different things like two meaning number 2, too much meaning too, to me and you meaning too.
The English language is so hard yet clever when it's done.
Our thoughts can be strange that go through our mind.
We can express ourselves in so many different ways.
Different people find different ways to be understood.
My poetry and art to be my way to be understood otherwise too many of you I can go on too much.
Just stop reading if I'm boring you or if you have little or no time to right my work.
Many cut off the phone because they have no time to listen to me but
due to my dyslexia I find it hard to express myself in a short way.
My way to express is poetry and art, may be a novel one day
in a strange way sorry to say. 29.12.2014- 30.12. 2014
When you’re a poet.
To me one can be become a thousand words.
To me I see one word then I see another.
I don't really see myself as a poet, I'm just writing as if I'm talking, I'm no one special.
Getting it down on paper can be better than saying it yet
I can say too much just as much or nothing at all when my mind is blank.
Then you say something, and then think nothing at all.
Put the phone on me because I say too much!
Stop reading my poem because it's too long.
That's up to you because some of my poems may be long enough.
It works both ways because when you want to talk I want to talk.
May be some days I get balance right I just don't know.
My mind can be blank other days with nothing to say.
What goes around comes around.
I may go on too long but I do have a talent of a way with words.
That doesn't make me special, clever or famous, I'm just me.
What goes through my mind goes into my writing.
When it comes to writing I must read my poems into a voice recorder on my phones 29.12.2014 - 30.12.2014
To me one can be become a thousand words.
To me I see one word then I see another.
I don't really see myself as a poet, I'm just writing as if I'm talking, I'm no one special.
Getting it down on paper can be better than saying it yet
I can say too much just as much or nothing at all when my mind is blank.
Then you say something, and then think nothing at all.
Put the phone on me because I say too much!
Stop reading my poem because it's too long.
That's up to you because some of my poems may be long enough.
It works both ways because when you want to talk I want to talk.
May be some days I get balance right I just don't know.
My mind can be blank other days with nothing to say.
What goes around comes around.
I may go on too long but I do have a talent of a way with words.
That doesn't make me special, clever or famous, I'm just me.
What goes through my mind goes into my writing.
When it comes to writing I must read my poems into a voice recorder on my phones 29.12.2014 - 30.12.2014
Poems are.
Words you say on a page.
The pen talks to the paper from the poet's mind.
Ideas can just spring to the poet's mind at any time.
Many ideas come from nowhere at all.
Many poets can be inspired by other poets.
Many poets like writers can research different things.
Most of us poet can vary where our ideas come from to write our poems. 30.12.2014
Words you say on a page.
The pen talks to the paper from the poet's mind.
Ideas can just spring to the poet's mind at any time.
Many ideas come from nowhere at all.
Many poets can be inspired by other poets.
Many poets like writers can research different things.
Most of us poet can vary where our ideas come from to write our poems. 30.12.2014
I want to write a poem.
I want to write a poem but I don't what kind of poem to write.
Oh I forget that I'm not a poet, I just write words.
I can't say how much I will say in this verse.
I will write whatever comes to mind on this line.
I try to entertain readers the best I can but then
I may write sense but then I may write a load of rubbish. 30.12.2014
I want to write a poem but I don't what kind of poem to write.
Oh I forget that I'm not a poet, I just write words.
I can't say how much I will say in this verse.
I will write whatever comes to mind on this line.
I try to entertain readers the best I can but then
I may write sense but then I may write a load of rubbish. 30.12.2014
So I write.
So I Write it's cold frosty night when I'm wishing you were here to hold me tight.
I've just come in tonight; my hands are like ice, which isn't a nice site.
Therefore life is such a fright when it's a frosty cold night.
No wind and no flying kites.
When the wind blow, it free to blow everything away so keep everything out of site.
The wind talks when it blows away to say.
" come back another day."
" Come quick, I will blew you away!"
Then comes a frosty day on its way shall we say?
“Don’t blow your washing away!" 31. 12 2014
So I Write it's cold frosty night when I'm wishing you were here to hold me tight.
I've just come in tonight; my hands are like ice, which isn't a nice site.
Therefore life is such a fright when it's a frosty cold night.
No wind and no flying kites.
When the wind blow, it free to blow everything away so keep everything out of site.
The wind talks when it blows away to say.
" come back another day."
" Come quick, I will blew you away!"
Then comes a frosty day on its way shall we say?
“Don’t blow your washing away!" 31. 12 2014
Learning
to believe in you.
Take me as I am or don't take me at all!
Love me as a person or don't love me at all!
Be what and who you want before you go there!
There are times that the truth hurts but lies hurt even more.
Learn to have love and faith in yourself before love and expect someone else to have love and trust in you!
Learning how to love and trust in you may sound big headed but there's nothing like being sure of yourself first.
If you can't have faith, love and trust in yourself then be honest with yourself not to have others in your life at all.
For those of you who have hurt people, now does the truth hurt?
Those of us who believe in ourselves learn to love and trust others and we rid of those who have let us down.
It's far too easy for us to blame ourselves when we are hurt.
We are all only human we all make mistakes.
Its takes two to tango the blame isn't all on one person.
The most blame is on the person who hurt you and let you go.
You are so much better than they are and there is someone out there for you so much better than what they were.
Take me as I am or don't take me at all!
Love me as a person or don't love me at all!
Be what and who you want before you go there!
There are times that the truth hurts but lies hurt even more.
Learn to have love and faith in yourself before love and expect someone else to have love and trust in you!
Learning how to love and trust in you may sound big headed but there's nothing like being sure of yourself first.
If you can't have faith, love and trust in yourself then be honest with yourself not to have others in your life at all.
For those of you who have hurt people, now does the truth hurt?
Those of us who believe in ourselves learn to love and trust others and we rid of those who have let us down.
It's far too easy for us to blame ourselves when we are hurt.
We are all only human we all make mistakes.
Its takes two to tango the blame isn't all on one person.
The most blame is on the person who hurt you and let you go.
You are so much better than they are and there is someone out there for you so much better than what they were.
You
just need to stop taking too much of the blame when you are mostly not to
blame.
You can't change
what’s happened but you can improve what’s going to happen.
Believe
yourself otherwise you will doubt yourself all the while.
Don’t take the pain out on yourself and the person who you love now!
Don't take out on others what you have been through but then time to take care of yourself now then once you have faith, love and trust in yourself then move on!
Don't take out on others what you have been through but then time to take care of yourself now then once you have faith, love and trust in yourself then move on!
Don't bring yourself down to the person who has hurt you for you to hurt
someone else, which everyone knows is so easy to do without knowing it but in
time think about it then you start blaming yourself so don't give yourself any
reason to do!
I'm telling myself as well as telling you, those of us who have been hurt we need to tell ourselves we are mostly not to blame because the main blamers are losers, we are not.
We showed them love but they didn't know what love is but that's not our fault.
They led us on instead of them not been honest with us and not telling us they aren't interested, they had a relationship with us that lived a lie because they didn't love us.
It may have disappointed us that they didn't feel the same way as us at the time but at least it would have been the truth.
To learn to love you before loving yourself is the best love of all.
To have faith, love and trust in yourself then you will have the same for your partner.
I'm telling myself as well as telling you, those of us who have been hurt we need to tell ourselves we are mostly not to blame because the main blamers are losers, we are not.
We showed them love but they didn't know what love is but that's not our fault.
They led us on instead of them not been honest with us and not telling us they aren't interested, they had a relationship with us that lived a lie because they didn't love us.
It may have disappointed us that they didn't feel the same way as us at the time but at least it would have been the truth.
To learn to love you before loving yourself is the best love of all.
To have faith, love and trust in yourself then you will have the same for your partner.
You can balance between being yourself not being headed because why beat
yourself up over things that are not all your fault even though they seem like
they are?
Most people like to get in your life to rip your heart apart to a point they want to blame you, don't let them!
Building faith, love and trust again is so hard to a point we can lose our self belief it's not easy I know but let's not let it!
Most people like to get in your life to rip your heart apart to a point they want to blame you, don't let them!
Building faith, love and trust again is so hard to a point we can lose our self belief it's not easy I know but let's not let it!
When
others don't believe in you in all areas of life then it's far too easy to not
believe in yourself, prove it to yourself then to others. 30.10.2014
- 8.11.2014
Whatever the choice.
There's no way of getting it right first time.
Even if feels right it not always is yet if it feels wrong it could be right.
Rightly or wrongly you can never please anyone, very often in the end you can't please yourself.
Things aren't always at the end as they are at the start.
Very few of us get it right first time but others just sail through life.
Those who are out there to look out for us but life are just a game of chance.
Yet there's no chance really life so why we here?
There are so many questions that are unknown.
The reasons are unknown to how the world around and how we all came about.
Life is known to try us to see what happens.
It's unknown unless we try yet we can't try all.
Where does it all come from?
What is life all about?
Some luck comes to others but others it doesn't.
Everyone and everything is different in different ways, how boring it would be if it was all the same. 30.10.2014 - 8.11.2014
There's no way of getting it right first time.
Even if feels right it not always is yet if it feels wrong it could be right.
Rightly or wrongly you can never please anyone, very often in the end you can't please yourself.
Things aren't always at the end as they are at the start.
Very few of us get it right first time but others just sail through life.
Those who are out there to look out for us but life are just a game of chance.
Yet there's no chance really life so why we here?
There are so many questions that are unknown.
The reasons are unknown to how the world around and how we all came about.
Life is known to try us to see what happens.
It's unknown unless we try yet we can't try all.
Where does it all come from?
What is life all about?
Some luck comes to others but others it doesn't.
Everyone and everything is different in different ways, how boring it would be if it was all the same. 30.10.2014 - 8.11.2014
Peace.
We want this war to be over.
We want our lives to be lived to the full, knowing that we will still be here tomorrow.
We want this war to be over.
We want our lives to be lived to the full, knowing that we will still be here tomorrow.
Be
happy to live your life how you want and the best way you can.
No one knows how you and I are going to end up being. 17.3.2003
No one knows how you and I are going to end up being. 17.3.2003
Love.
Give the world as much love as you can.
It takes all kinds of people to make a war but it take all kinds of people to give love.
We are all in the same boat in ways fearing for people's lives and our own.
We should all get through this war together by loving and supporting another.
Know one will know where it will be one day to the next; most countries may be safe not but in the future who knows!
We must as much peace and love as much as we can but no war.
Be brave enough to take it day by day. 12-13.5.2003
Give the world as much love as you can.
It takes all kinds of people to make a war but it take all kinds of people to give love.
We are all in the same boat in ways fearing for people's lives and our own.
We should all get through this war together by loving and supporting another.
Know one will know where it will be one day to the next; most countries may be safe not but in the future who knows!
We must as much peace and love as much as we can but no war.
Be brave enough to take it day by day. 12-13.5.2003
War
and peace.
What a life.
Make sure you have good times.
Try to get through the bad times.
You start off young.
You end up old but then you learn a lot more than you know now.
Everyone wonders about what life all is all about whether it's a waste or not.
Life is what you make it, if you make it good, it's no waste at all. There are too many people risking their lives for others.
They are risking their lives for you and me.
We are risking our lives in our country in order to live our lives.
There are too many dangerous people about on this earth sadly.
Heaven could be the most peaceful place to be if there is a place called heaven.14-15.5.2003 - 23.4.2003 - 19.8.2012
What a life.
Make sure you have good times.
Try to get through the bad times.
You start off young.
You end up old but then you learn a lot more than you know now.
Everyone wonders about what life all is all about whether it's a waste or not.
Life is what you make it, if you make it good, it's no waste at all. There are too many people risking their lives for others.
They are risking their lives for you and me.
We are risking our lives in our country in order to live our lives.
There are too many dangerous people about on this earth sadly.
Heaven could be the most peaceful place to be if there is a place called heaven.14-15.5.2003 - 23.4.2003 - 19.8.2012
Art.
Paints
Crayons
Felts
Colouring pencils
Paper
Board
Frames
Pictures
Art is full of feeling and life; it works like poetry, plays, novels and short stories.
Every picture tells a story. 2-19.3.2003
NO ONE KNOWS
ANYONE.
You made me to be
in this world.
The first twenty-one years of my life you weren't there.
I was no one to you; at least it felt that way anyway.
You were no one to me, it seemed as if as I wasn't anyone to you because I never saw you.
When I first met you at the age of twenty - one, I thought we put the piece of the jigsaw together but I was wrong.
Now I feel as if a piece of jigsaw is missing in me again.
I think I have lost myself again.
Perhaps part of me was always been missing and always will be.
Why do I have a feeling that two human beings are missing out of my life too?
Why do I have feeling that they are asking themselves unanswered questions like I did as a child?
I want to help them because I know how it feels; it's as if you are in the dark.
It's feels as I am feeling the same way again as I did as a child knowing that my half brother and sister are going through the same as I did.
I'm their half big sister, of course I want to be there for them and help them.
You aren't going to help them are you?
Don't you realize what you have done and how it has affected our minds?
The past doesn't matter; I've been there all my life.
I never knew why this had to be but it doesn't matter now, it's not about me, it's about my younger half brother and sister.
I am the past they are the present and future.
It's the present and the future, how do you think it's going to affect their lives?
Why do I feel like the useless big half sister?
No one knows anyone, it's all a mystery. 2008
The first twenty-one years of my life you weren't there.
I was no one to you; at least it felt that way anyway.
You were no one to me, it seemed as if as I wasn't anyone to you because I never saw you.
When I first met you at the age of twenty - one, I thought we put the piece of the jigsaw together but I was wrong.
Now I feel as if a piece of jigsaw is missing in me again.
I think I have lost myself again.
Perhaps part of me was always been missing and always will be.
Why do I have a feeling that two human beings are missing out of my life too?
Why do I have feeling that they are asking themselves unanswered questions like I did as a child?
I want to help them because I know how it feels; it's as if you are in the dark.
It's feels as I am feeling the same way again as I did as a child knowing that my half brother and sister are going through the same as I did.
I'm their half big sister, of course I want to be there for them and help them.
You aren't going to help them are you?
Don't you realize what you have done and how it has affected our minds?
The past doesn't matter; I've been there all my life.
I never knew why this had to be but it doesn't matter now, it's not about me, it's about my younger half brother and sister.
I am the past they are the present and future.
It's the present and the future, how do you think it's going to affect their lives?
Why do I feel like the useless big half sister?
No one knows anyone, it's all a mystery. 2008
WHY CAN'T WE?
I'm speaking for the rights of
people with disabilities.
If we haven't got those rights we should have them.
We should be treated equally to non - disabled people.
Some people have these rights others don't.
We know it can never be a perfect world but it can be an equal work.
How many of us live alone?
How many of us still live with our families?
How many of us have families of our own?
How many of us work?
How many of us don't work?
How many of us are on benefit trap?
How many of us are in education?
How many of us live like non - disabled people but with the right support?
If we haven't got those rights we should have them.
We should be treated equally to non - disabled people.
Some people have these rights others don't.
We know it can never be a perfect world but it can be an equal work.
How many of us live alone?
How many of us still live with our families?
How many of us have families of our own?
How many of us work?
How many of us don't work?
How many of us are on benefit trap?
How many of us are in education?
How many of us live like non - disabled people but with the right support?
We all understand
funding can be a problem but the government should spend the money on the right
things for people's rights.
I've been asking these questions all my life but never really got any real answers. 2008
I've been asking these questions all my life but never really got any real answers. 2008
EASY
WORLD FOR PEOPLE WITH DISABILITIES.
I love poetry like
music, some poems I like others I don't.
It's like everything in life really.
One thing though, not a lot of poetry is written about people with disabilities, why is that?
Can't we communicate in your way of thinking?
Let's have a bit of fun!
Easy pictures.
Easy words.
Let's play around with coloured paper! 2008
It's like everything in life really.
One thing though, not a lot of poetry is written about people with disabilities, why is that?
Can't we communicate in your way of thinking?
Let's have a bit of fun!
Easy pictures.
Easy words.
Let's play around with coloured paper! 2008
THE HOMELESS
YOUNGEST MINDS.
Nobody in my family
loves me.
I know I could have been very naughty, but there is no need for my family to kick me out on the streets.
I am very frightened to go back home, but I know my family don't want me.
I know I made a big mistake in thinking I could cope to find my own home; I just wanted to be an adult far too quickly.
I realize now I was wrong thinking I could cope.
I can't find any food to eat, but bits and piece of bread.
I am sleeping on the hard street floors, but some nights I sleep in cardboard boxes.
It's alright this poem isn't about me but how many of us stop to think what goes through homeless people's minds, mainly at Christmas time? 1997 – 2008
I know I could have been very naughty, but there is no need for my family to kick me out on the streets.
I am very frightened to go back home, but I know my family don't want me.
I know I made a big mistake in thinking I could cope to find my own home; I just wanted to be an adult far too quickly.
I realize now I was wrong thinking I could cope.
I can't find any food to eat, but bits and piece of bread.
I am sleeping on the hard street floors, but some nights I sleep in cardboard boxes.
It's alright this poem isn't about me but how many of us stop to think what goes through homeless people's minds, mainly at Christmas time? 1997 – 2008
THERE ARE SO MANY
LONELY PEOPLE.
In this world we
do not realize that there are so many lonely people.
These lonely get out of bed every single morning.
Living a life that seems so dull and boring.
These lonely people do not have family or friends to talk to and see.
When you see the lonely people, they seem more happy than lucky us.
They have such lovely smiles on their faces.
Where these lonely people come from?
What on earth can anyone or "The Happy Society" does for them? 1997 -2008
These lonely get out of bed every single morning.
Living a life that seems so dull and boring.
These lonely people do not have family or friends to talk to and see.
When you see the lonely people, they seem more happy than lucky us.
They have such lovely smiles on their faces.
Where these lonely people come from?
What on earth can anyone or "The Happy Society" does for them? 1997 -2008
THIS IS THE REAL
WORLD, NOT A DREAM WORLD.
In fairy
tale stories they say you have to kiss a good many ugly frogs to find your
handsome Prince.
In my case I believe I have kissed handsome princes who have turned into ugly frogs.
Believe me, believe me not, I think my days of kissing handsome princes have gone.
Because I fear every handsome prince I kiss will turn into an ugly frog.
All the lovely things I used to dream, I thought would come true.
Now I am unhappy that everything I ever wanted hasn't happened to me and no chance will it be.
I blame myself; I fell in love far too young.
Little did I know everything was going to turn out wrong?
Now I can't love at all, because I am frightened of getting hurt again.
A male and female friendship forever more.
I must keep away from those ugly frogs. 1997 -2008
In my case I believe I have kissed handsome princes who have turned into ugly frogs.
Believe me, believe me not, I think my days of kissing handsome princes have gone.
Because I fear every handsome prince I kiss will turn into an ugly frog.
All the lovely things I used to dream, I thought would come true.
Now I am unhappy that everything I ever wanted hasn't happened to me and no chance will it be.
I blame myself; I fell in love far too young.
Little did I know everything was going to turn out wrong?
Now I can't love at all, because I am frightened of getting hurt again.
A male and female friendship forever more.
I must keep away from those ugly frogs. 1997 -2008
GOOD FRIENDSHIP.
This may be only
friendly love, but to me it is good enough.
I don't think you need a boyfriend and girlfriend to love.
Male and female can still share a friendship to love.
My friendship will be here with you for however long you want me to be close to you.
I will never go away from you, unless you want me to.
I know we have been through the same thing, I know what you are going through.
Trying to move on from the people you love or loved is very hard to do, but somehow we must get on with our lives and get through.
We must try and see a future for ourselves the best way we can, but believe me I do understand that is very hard to do but all the same we must get through. 1997 – 2008
I don't think you need a boyfriend and girlfriend to love.
Male and female can still share a friendship to love.
My friendship will be here with you for however long you want me to be close to you.
I will never go away from you, unless you want me to.
I know we have been through the same thing, I know what you are going through.
Trying to move on from the people you love or loved is very hard to do, but somehow we must get on with our lives and get through.
We must try and see a future for ourselves the best way we can, but believe me I do understand that is very hard to do but all the same we must get through. 1997 – 2008
PEOPLE.
We are all human
beings.
We all have different nationalities.
Most people have white skin.
Some people have black skin.
Other people have brown skin.
Some people believe in god others don't.
Some people go to church others don't.
Why don't we just accept each other for the way we all are?
Life is hard enough without making it worse.
Some people have chosen to be who they are and what them; others don't have any choose at all.
Just because one person is black and the other person is white, it doesn't mean they are not alright.
I understand that not everyone gets on but you can't take away the way they are or their equal rights.
You have the right to know what people say and think about you but
keep your thoughts to yourself, just walk away!
Why risks have been locked away from the world, it's not worth it for anyone.
No need to hurt or kill.
Why take your anger out on people, who are harmless to you, be strong.
Stick to your own thoughts in life: let others stick to theirs. 2003 – 2008
We all have different nationalities.
Most people have white skin.
Some people have black skin.
Other people have brown skin.
Some people believe in god others don't.
Some people go to church others don't.
Why don't we just accept each other for the way we all are?
Life is hard enough without making it worse.
Some people have chosen to be who they are and what them; others don't have any choose at all.
Just because one person is black and the other person is white, it doesn't mean they are not alright.
I understand that not everyone gets on but you can't take away the way they are or their equal rights.
You have the right to know what people say and think about you but
keep your thoughts to yourself, just walk away!
Why risks have been locked away from the world, it's not worth it for anyone.
No need to hurt or kill.
Why take your anger out on people, who are harmless to you, be strong.
Stick to your own thoughts in life: let others stick to theirs. 2003 – 2008
You never know!
Everything is
unknown for everyone.
You could be right as rain one day.
The future seems very bright.
You feel on top of the world.
You can cope with everything and everyone.
You feel fitter, quicker and brighter than ever.
Over night something bad has happened you, this has affected the rest of your life.
Now you feel worse than ever because you are so unaware of the world around you.
To be sure you don't know what is and is not coming to you.
Suddenly everything and anything is out of you.
It's all gone for life.
You are a changed person.
You've gone from a very unsuccessful person to a most unsuccessful person.
You will be very lucky to be that successful person again; if you are it could take a lot of hard work to get your life back together again.
Make the best of what and who you are in case you may not see tomorrow.
Please try harder to understand people who have not got as much going as you have or they may have to work harder for longer to get there!
The truth of the matter is that you will never understand unless it happens to you.
Everyone has to go through good and bad in life as I write, some worse or any better than others.
Birth, nursery, school, college, friendships, friendships gives some happiness but also stresses in life.
People with disabilities and health problems get stress out, ill or and even die easy due to on top of the problems we have already.
There's support for some things for us but not for others.
Without the same right as other people we will be alone in the world even though we have one another.
We understand that it's hard for other people, we just have to work harder to get there than other people or we don't get there at all. 9.10.2011
You could be right as rain one day.
The future seems very bright.
You feel on top of the world.
You can cope with everything and everyone.
You feel fitter, quicker and brighter than ever.
Over night something bad has happened you, this has affected the rest of your life.
Now you feel worse than ever because you are so unaware of the world around you.
To be sure you don't know what is and is not coming to you.
Suddenly everything and anything is out of you.
It's all gone for life.
You are a changed person.
You've gone from a very unsuccessful person to a most unsuccessful person.
You will be very lucky to be that successful person again; if you are it could take a lot of hard work to get your life back together again.
Make the best of what and who you are in case you may not see tomorrow.
Please try harder to understand people who have not got as much going as you have or they may have to work harder for longer to get there!
The truth of the matter is that you will never understand unless it happens to you.
Everyone has to go through good and bad in life as I write, some worse or any better than others.
Birth, nursery, school, college, friendships, friendships gives some happiness but also stresses in life.
People with disabilities and health problems get stress out, ill or and even die easy due to on top of the problems we have already.
There's support for some things for us but not for others.
Without the same right as other people we will be alone in the world even though we have one another.
We understand that it's hard for other people, we just have to work harder to get there than other people or we don't get there at all. 9.10.2011
FEELING GUILTY.
Autism can make us
feel guilty.
It's too easy to be unaware of what we do and don't say.
It's too easy to be unaware of what we do and don't do.
What's planned in your mind comes out wrong or and even the wrong way round.
The things come across to people as not good but aren't planned in your mind.
It's not that you don't know right from wrong, what's planned to be one thing is seen as another from most people's point a view. In a sense it's like writing an essay.
Nobody can be blamed for misunderstanding us but we can't be blamed for having Autism.
That doesn't mean we want to be the cent-re of attention, we just want to be accepted in society the same as everyone.
We just want to be equal to everyone at the end of the day. 2008
It's too easy to be unaware of what we do and don't say.
It's too easy to be unaware of what we do and don't do.
What's planned in your mind comes out wrong or and even the wrong way round.
The things come across to people as not good but aren't planned in your mind.
It's not that you don't know right from wrong, what's planned to be one thing is seen as another from most people's point a view. In a sense it's like writing an essay.
Nobody can be blamed for misunderstanding us but we can't be blamed for having Autism.
That doesn't mean we want to be the cent-re of attention, we just want to be accepted in society the same as everyone.
We just want to be equal to everyone at the end of the day. 2008
A NEW WORLD FOR
PEOPLE WITH DISABILITIES.
Think about
the amount of books we have tried to read but the print is too hazy,
small or and the stories are hard to understand.
Words jump off the page and your eyes start to stain.
We don't mean to make life hard but we have missed out on a lot of stories that we didn't understand.
We would like to make these stories more clear to understand like easy words and easy pictures for the next generation of people with disabilities.
Let's support people with disabilities to have equal lives to everyone!
Words jump off the page and your eyes start to stain.
We don't mean to make life hard but we have missed out on a lot of stories that we didn't understand.
We would like to make these stories more clear to understand like easy words and easy pictures for the next generation of people with disabilities.
Let's support people with disabilities to have equal lives to everyone!
Let's opens new
doors! 2008
DRAGON
Watch your ps and qs when you
are talking to the dragon.
She may well blow smoke at you and burn you if you get on the wrong side of her, she can have the Irish dragon inside her.
Don't be put off by her; she has a nice side too. 1997 – 2008
She may well blow smoke at you and burn you if you get on the wrong side of her, she can have the Irish dragon inside her.
Don't be put off by her; she has a nice side too. 1997 – 2008
PEACE AND LOVE.
We all have to go
by the rules of the law.
We are all prisoners of war in our own counties wherever we are from.
We are always dreaming of a peaceful and lovable world.
Not a greedy or hateful world.
Why do we hurt and kill one another?
Why can't we respect one another for being human beings?
Why can't we keep away from one another if don't like one another?
Why waist our lives behind bars when there are so many good things to see and look forward to?
No world needs to be perfect but why not give peaces and love rather than war? 2003 – 2008
We are all prisoners of war in our own counties wherever we are from.
We are always dreaming of a peaceful and lovable world.
Not a greedy or hateful world.
Why do we hurt and kill one another?
Why can't we respect one another for being human beings?
Why can't we keep away from one another if don't like one another?
Why waist our lives behind bars when there are so many good things to see and look forward to?
No world needs to be perfect but why not give peaces and love rather than war? 2003 – 2008
OUR DULL GREY
WEATHER!
Today our dull and
bright weather changes all the time from hot cold very quickly in the UK.
The sky changes
from black, grey, white and blue.
An American consul
Elihi Burritt in Birmingham 1862 once said or wrote about the Black Country,
Black by day and red by night.
When we
think about Elilhi having said that Black Country saying may be he gave the
Black Country its name. How Strange a British American could have so much truth
of describing the Black Country?
This was because
the Black Country area had a 30ft coal seam in the 19th century, this came from
West Bromwich, and Old bury, Black heath, Cradle y Heath, Old Hill, Bilston,
Dudley, Tip-ton, Wednesfield, parts of Halesowen and Wedensbury.
The Black Country
started off smoke and coal yet there’s no smoke without fire.
Carry your coat
about because the weather can change in seconds.
Today the wet,
thunder and rainy weather would wash the coal fires.
Today you never
see the sky without a cloud but not enough blues sky.
The weather can
never make up its mind.
Never believe it
if the sky is blue because can it change for the worst.
There’s not enough
warm and heat. 2008
HAVING A LEARNING
DISABILITY.
This world is confusing and unexplained.
I used to think a lot of negative, now I'm learning to think positive.
Most people look at people with learning disabilities in a strange way
if you look disabled, some people discriminate you more.
Hidden disabilities and health problems are not seen or believed. Lack of communicate can be a cause why friendships and relationships are so hard to have or even keep.
Their needs to be a lot of education from people with learning disabilities to main stream people understand them or including myself us.
A learning disability could have happened to you.
We're human too, are you?
I used to think a lot of negative, now I'm learning to think positive.
Most people look at people with learning disabilities in a strange way
if you look disabled, some people discriminate you more.
Hidden disabilities and health problems are not seen or believed. Lack of communicate can be a cause why friendships and relationships are so hard to have or even keep.
Their needs to be a lot of education from people with learning disabilities to main stream people understand them or including myself us.
A learning disability could have happened to you.
We're human too, are you?
Many of us have
wondered why we are here if life is like this.
Why do you make us feel like the odd ones out when we have one another who understand each other? 2008
Why do you make us feel like the odd ones out when we have one another who understand each other? 2008
What does it feel
like to have a learning disability?
I used to bang my
head against a brick wall but not anymore.
Now I put my head
up high up to the sky.
I still feel
angry, weak and useless to society but as I achieve more skills it gets less
each and every day.
There comes a
point you get fed up of being in your own world, you want to help others like
yourself.
Now I feel strong
enough to help others like me.
I hope you receive
more support than what I did; I hope life isn't too hard for you. 2008
Everyone is
looking at me.
The bar is crowded.
I try to find a condor.
I try to find a space to wait for the crowd to calm down.
Everyone is looking at me knowing that I fear crowds.
I walk out the pub, where I go next is unknown.
I come back there are less people standing by the bar as I get myself a drink.
Now I take forever to find a seat, in the mean time people are staring at me knowing that I am stressed.
They are looking at me strange, and then I turn my head away.
In time I smile, they wonder what I am smiling at.
I am thinking that I don't need a reason to make me smile.
Who cares what they think?
So what I am smiling for no reason, mad they might think.
There's no point being sad only because they might be. 27.10.2011
The bar is crowded.
I try to find a condor.
I try to find a space to wait for the crowd to calm down.
Everyone is looking at me knowing that I fear crowds.
I walk out the pub, where I go next is unknown.
I come back there are less people standing by the bar as I get myself a drink.
Now I take forever to find a seat, in the mean time people are staring at me knowing that I am stressed.
They are looking at me strange, and then I turn my head away.
In time I smile, they wonder what I am smiling at.
I am thinking that I don't need a reason to make me smile.
Who cares what they think?
So what I am smiling for no reason, mad they might think.
There's no point being sad only because they might be. 27.10.2011
Change.
You cannot avoid change.
One bus has gone but another bus is come.
When is an unknown question?
One love has gone but another love is soon.
When is an unknown question?
Some people or and things are meant be the same but not everything and everybody.
When is any time?
Today
Tomorrow
the next day
Next week
Next year
who knows?
Whatever or whoever you are waiting for something or someone may be right for you.
There are at least some things and some people stay put but not all.
Some things you need to work to get what's right for you but some of us never find it or who.
Don't try hard because that will never do, you will never get anywhere.
Try hard enough because you never get anywhere if you don't try at all.
Don't hope too much, you will never get anywhere.
Take every day as it comes, if that isn't good enough nothing ever will be.
Never think you can get all what you want. 27.10.2011
You cannot avoid change.
One bus has gone but another bus is come.
When is an unknown question?
One love has gone but another love is soon.
When is an unknown question?
Some people or and things are meant be the same but not everything and everybody.
When is any time?
Today
Tomorrow
the next day
Next week
Next year
who knows?
Whatever or whoever you are waiting for something or someone may be right for you.
There are at least some things and some people stay put but not all.
Some things you need to work to get what's right for you but some of us never find it or who.
Don't try hard because that will never do, you will never get anywhere.
Try hard enough because you never get anywhere if you don't try at all.
Don't hope too much, you will never get anywhere.
Take every day as it comes, if that isn't good enough nothing ever will be.
Never think you can get all what you want. 27.10.2011
The
day has just started.
The clouds are white.
The sky is grey.
I find hard to think good or bad thoughts, I just get on with my day.
Nevertheless I am okay.
I come back from the Job cent-re I get a letter through my door from Income Support.
Saying I said I am working when I haven't said anything at all.
I am working hard not to let these Benefit people stress me out before I scream and shout.
The only you in my mind keeps me calm.
I'm willing to stay stable and calm despite the fact the problem needs to be looked at soon as you.
Whatever worries me you ease my mind all the time, whether I see you or not.
Having you on my mind keeps me going when life is tough.
I can accept every in life when I have you on my mind.
I ride my exercise bike even though I am not getting anywhere.
I think about you all the time whether I am down in myself or not, then I start to feel good.
I do everything I can to keep myself strong. 27.10.2011
The clouds are white.
The sky is grey.
I find hard to think good or bad thoughts, I just get on with my day.
Nevertheless I am okay.
I come back from the Job cent-re I get a letter through my door from Income Support.
Saying I said I am working when I haven't said anything at all.
I am working hard not to let these Benefit people stress me out before I scream and shout.
The only you in my mind keeps me calm.
I'm willing to stay stable and calm despite the fact the problem needs to be looked at soon as you.
Whatever worries me you ease my mind all the time, whether I see you or not.
Having you on my mind keeps me going when life is tough.
I can accept every in life when I have you on my mind.
I ride my exercise bike even though I am not getting anywhere.
I think about you all the time whether I am down in myself or not, then I start to feel good.
I do everything I can to keep myself strong. 27.10.2011
No more tears to cry.
No more tears to cry but sadness is still here.
It was all so long ago.
Nothing was ever done because it was understood or believed.
Pain is unknown whether I like it not.
Even now no one understands or believes me.
I find it hard to talk about even now.
I may not be crying on the outside but I am crying on the inside.
I am smiling on the outside but feeling pain on the inside.
I used to find it hard to sleep in fear of seeing one of you, a few of you or even more.
Now none of you bother me at all.
You have all been here far too long to stay.
My mind is just wondering away thoughts.
I find that I believe in myself at last.
When I have been through this pain so long nothing is new to me.
The thoughts have been inside my head far too long.
The grass is always greener on the other side. 20.11.2011
No more tears to cry but sadness is still here.
It was all so long ago.
Nothing was ever done because it was understood or believed.
Pain is unknown whether I like it not.
Even now no one understands or believes me.
I find it hard to talk about even now.
I may not be crying on the outside but I am crying on the inside.
I am smiling on the outside but feeling pain on the inside.
I used to find it hard to sleep in fear of seeing one of you, a few of you or even more.
Now none of you bother me at all.
You have all been here far too long to stay.
My mind is just wondering away thoughts.
I find that I believe in myself at last.
When I have been through this pain so long nothing is new to me.
The thoughts have been inside my head far too long.
The grass is always greener on the other side. 20.11.2011
Just
gets on with it!
How I get through every day, I don't know.
There must walk around as if nothing has happened.
No one knows what one another are thinking.
I don't shut myself away from the world because life is for living that's what you’re born for.
I just get on with life; I have never known anything else.
More than 30 years on since the first one, they have still got away with it just because me been just a child and having learning disabilities.
No good talking about it whatever I say nothing gets done.
The present is here yesterday has gone let's live for today.
Tomorrow is unknown.
Time to move on.
The pain has gone on far too long to hurt me anymore.
I was far too young to tell anyone.
Far too young to know what was going on?
Too young to understand.
Too young to be understood.
Even now over 40, my words just can't speak. 20.11.2011
How I get through every day, I don't know.
There must walk around as if nothing has happened.
No one knows what one another are thinking.
I don't shut myself away from the world because life is for living that's what you’re born for.
I just get on with life; I have never known anything else.
More than 30 years on since the first one, they have still got away with it just because me been just a child and having learning disabilities.
No good talking about it whatever I say nothing gets done.
The present is here yesterday has gone let's live for today.
Tomorrow is unknown.
Time to move on.
The pain has gone on far too long to hurt me anymore.
I was far too young to tell anyone.
Far too young to know what was going on?
Too young to understand.
Too young to be understood.
Even now over 40, my words just can't speak. 20.11.2011
We
are never too old.
We are never too old, we are forever young.
Life is for living and drinking.
Take what comes never stops.
We are never too old, we are forever young.
Life is for living and drinking.
Take what comes never stops.
New
will come along if nothing is right for you.
May be one day something or someone will be right for you.
Believe in yourself, and then you can believe in others.
Enjoy life rather than waste life.
Life isn't happy all the time otherwise we'd be all spoiled and get away with what we want.
Never doubt yourself because something or someone has let you down.
There are plenty of people who won't let you down so you don't need the people who do.
Enjoy drink and fun.
Face the tomorrow day to look forward to tomorrow night.
If you ever get old, you can look back on a happy life, no matter how much it costs you.
There's always a way of balancing career with your fun.
May be one day something or someone will be right for you.
Believe in yourself, and then you can believe in others.
Enjoy life rather than waste life.
Life isn't happy all the time otherwise we'd be all spoiled and get away with what we want.
Never doubt yourself because something or someone has let you down.
There are plenty of people who won't let you down so you don't need the people who do.
Enjoy drink and fun.
Face the tomorrow day to look forward to tomorrow night.
If you ever get old, you can look back on a happy life, no matter how much it costs you.
There's always a way of balancing career with your fun.
We
are alone when it comes to choosing our lives, now money doesn't give us a lot
of choice.
Jobs
and courses are very hard to find.
It's hard to think positive about the future when negative is around us in the present.
One can only go by what it's seems like.
It's more likely very little brightness at the end of the tunnel one can see.
We must make the best of what we have got even if it's not a lot.
Anything is better than nothing at all.
If you have nothing at all then there's war, the government shouldn't let it go too far.24.11.2011
It's hard to think positive about the future when negative is around us in the present.
One can only go by what it's seems like.
It's more likely very little brightness at the end of the tunnel one can see.
We must make the best of what we have got even if it's not a lot.
Anything is better than nothing at all.
If you have nothing at all then there's war, the government shouldn't let it go too far.24.11.2011
Feelings.
Feelings are hard to control when you love someone.
Falling in love is not easy to control but you don't have to fall in love to love.
When you fall in love it can be hard to let go if things go wrong.
Here I again love again; goodness knows how long it will last.
With knowing what I learned from the last love I believe this love will end.
As I said feelings are hard to control but one but never knows the future.
When many relationships have failed in the past, it's hard to think positive.
It's my feelings that make me never give up.
The future is any one's guess.
No hopes are built but I love him so much.
I miss him so much but he's a man, I guess he will love as long or short as he wants to.
I'll have to move on and start like I have always done, goodness know how many times I will fall in love before I die.
Who knows he may be the one for me and I may be the one for him?
The future is unknown.
All I know is that I love him and miss him so much. 21.11.2011
Everyone is alone but not alone.
Today the world seems far too dull.
Money is tighter than ever.
No one is alone we are all in these hard times together.
There's no saying what the future is.
There's no saying
what there is out there for the young kids growing up today.
Forget the days
you could walk out of one job into another.
Now it seems like
a long rocky road.
It's now hard to
believe if there's an end to this hard rocky road. 21.11.2011
Putting
on a brave face.
We have to get on with life to live it.
We have to cope with what life throws at us.
All we can do is smile to fight the pain.
Life is what you make but it's not always the case.
We need to keep ourselves and one another the best we can.
Help one another just as we did when times were hard all so long ago.
Let's believe we are strong: we can work it out. 24.11.2011
We have to get on with life to live it.
We have to cope with what life throws at us.
All we can do is smile to fight the pain.
Life is what you make but it's not always the case.
We need to keep ourselves and one another the best we can.
Help one another just as we did when times were hard all so long ago.
Let's believe we are strong: we can work it out. 24.11.2011
Another
world.
It's hard to know whether life is real or not.
It's hard to know if happiness is real or not.
We may not like the truth but real is truth no one likes pretend and lies in real life.
Sometimes it's hard to know what the truth is depending what it's about.
What we are told, we don't always like.
What we don't like may be better for us.
What do like may be bad for us.
Don't cry the world isn't always black and white.
Not everything we enjoy is bad for us.
We don't have to feel guilty about everything we do, say, eat, drink and etc.
There are some things we like what are good for us.
It's hard to know whether life is real or not.
It's hard to know if happiness is real or not.
We may not like the truth but real is truth no one likes pretend and lies in real life.
Sometimes it's hard to know what the truth is depending what it's about.
What we are told, we don't always like.
What we don't like may be better for us.
What do like may be bad for us.
Don't cry the world isn't always black and white.
Not everything we enjoy is bad for us.
We don't have to feel guilty about everything we do, say, eat, drink and etc.
There are some things we like what are good for us.
If
I can't get enough help myself I would like to help others who have been
through the same thing as me if not work.
I would like to help others and get help myself.
Slowly people are learning to understand me now.
Some things are hard to talk about.
It took me long enough to talk about rape and abuse now I still find it hard to make my understood. 17.11.2011
I would like to help others and get help myself.
Slowly people are learning to understand me now.
Some things are hard to talk about.
It took me long enough to talk about rape and abuse now I still find it hard to make my understood. 17.11.2011
Weak
to strong.
When I first went through what you put me through, I used to vomit, see in my mind the nasty things you were doing to me.
Now I don't have as many if not none at all of flash backs.
The weekends home never seemed to last long enough before I knew I had to face the unhappiness in school.
Many times I thought about running away from school but I wouldn't have been able to tell my family why.
I felt like taking my own life but my family would have wondered why!
I still feel as if I need someone to talk about because it's been kept inside my mind so long even though I have tried to tell some but I haven't been understood.
There wasn't enough help when I was young.
When I first went through what you put me through, I used to vomit, see in my mind the nasty things you were doing to me.
Now I don't have as many if not none at all of flash backs.
The weekends home never seemed to last long enough before I knew I had to face the unhappiness in school.
Many times I thought about running away from school but I wouldn't have been able to tell my family why.
I felt like taking my own life but my family would have wondered why!
I still feel as if I need someone to talk about because it's been kept inside my mind so long even though I have tried to tell some but I haven't been understood.
There wasn't enough help when I was young.
Time
to go to bed.
It was time to go to bed, us girls chatted for a while.
The Housemother told us off to get to sleep ready for school the next morning.
My mind was full of unexplained stress that I wasn't supposed to know yet it happened to me.
It was no good telling the kids, they weren't suppose to know either.
We were little children little babies who were learning about life yet there was very little to learn at that time.
Everyone fell asleep all but not me, I wasn't the best of sleepers anyway but all what I didn't understand was playing on my mind I was far too young to know but I should have known what happened, it was too hard understand and tell anyone.
I wasn't just a child; I was a child with learning disabilities.
I held my ginger German teddy bear named Hands, I felt so alone.
Every time I tried to sleep I could hear and see the big evil moister attacking me.
I lay there thinking how I was going to tell grownups but I didn't have a clue. 30.9.2010
It's
hard to talk.
I just cried all night.
Every time I faced a child, I felt so alone in the world.
I kept hoping it wasn't happening to any other child but then it made it even harder to explain myself if it wasn't.
It was no good telling them because they weren't suppose to know or understand either.
Not able to understand what happened to you is a very strange nasty feeling, just these unforgotten unexplained things going inside your mind.
It can never be a lie if it's never forgotten; I only wish it was because it wouldn't be there to haunt you for life.
It happened every school I went to, I was unaware of whether it was happening to other children or not until we were adults.
Before I knew it was happening to other children as well me, I thought I was having nightmares, hearing and or seeing things in my mind.
We were just far too young to know and understand what was going on.
I have met many people who I went to school with during adult they have been through the same things in the same schools.
I wasn't alone after all I just didn't know that a lot of the children went through it too.
It's haunted us all our lives, even today, it's hard to explain.
If you know what I'm talking about and it's happened to you, I'm willing to help you if you want someone to talk to on sarajgorman@gmail.com 30.9.2010
I just cried all night.
Every time I faced a child, I felt so alone in the world.
I kept hoping it wasn't happening to any other child but then it made it even harder to explain myself if it wasn't.
It was no good telling them because they weren't suppose to know or understand either.
Not able to understand what happened to you is a very strange nasty feeling, just these unforgotten unexplained things going inside your mind.
It can never be a lie if it's never forgotten; I only wish it was because it wouldn't be there to haunt you for life.
It happened every school I went to, I was unaware of whether it was happening to other children or not until we were adults.
Before I knew it was happening to other children as well me, I thought I was having nightmares, hearing and or seeing things in my mind.
We were just far too young to know and understand what was going on.
I have met many people who I went to school with during adult they have been through the same things in the same schools.
I wasn't alone after all I just didn't know that a lot of the children went through it too.
It's haunted us all our lives, even today, it's hard to explain.
If you know what I'm talking about and it's happened to you, I'm willing to help you if you want someone to talk to on sarajgorman@gmail.com 30.9.2010
Time
to listen to children.
Time to listen to children; you never know what you are going to hear.
You can't be there with children twenty - four hours a day so you can't say what they tell is or isn't true.
If a child goes on about the same thing a lot, then it's true, something needs to be done.
Children need to be listened to; this is the same for people with disabilities and Health problems all ages.
It's time to listen carefully and take more time with people who take to be understood and heard otherwise could be disbelieving something that really happened.
Take more time to understand all human beings.
Time to listen to children; you never know what you are going to hear.
You can't be there with children twenty - four hours a day so you can't say what they tell is or isn't true.
If a child goes on about the same thing a lot, then it's true, something needs to be done.
Children need to be listened to; this is the same for people with disabilities and Health problems all ages.
It's time to listen carefully and take more time with people who take to be understood and heard otherwise could be disbelieving something that really happened.
Take more time to understand all human beings.
You
try to grab life with both hands but people are in your faces all the time when
don't need but no one is really there to give you a helping hand when you do
need it.
You want to give it a go because you are only on the earth once so why were we born at all?
At least you have tried if you haven't succeeded.
My real Father isn't my Father; I haven't known him long enough he's my friend.
He doesn't know a great deal about my life so he's the only one in the family doesn't know me. 2th October 2010
You want to give it a go because you are only on the earth once so why were we born at all?
At least you have tried if you haven't succeeded.
My real Father isn't my Father; I haven't known him long enough he's my friend.
He doesn't know a great deal about my life so he's the only one in the family doesn't know me. 2th October 2010
Get
by.
Times are rather hard; money is tight, even though you don't get a lot of chance to hold me tight, still we're happy enough.
It's not just money problems it's other things in my life too but no worries it's not you.
I've been through good and bad before, I will get by just like I've always have done.
Not sleeping well but over tried with things on my mind.
Somehow I'll manage my work.
I'm worried about losing my work and business.
I will either run the business with support or not all.
My work means a lot to me so do you, even though I don't have enough private time with you.
Strangely I miss you even though I see you.
There's so much to tell you but very little time to say it. 2nd October 2010
Rape, rape.
Rape has damaged my mind.
Rape has ripped me up for 33yrs but not all my life has been black and white.
Memories are still there but thankfully now flashbacks and nightmares are very little compared to what they used to be.
From the age of a 7 year old child it happened until I was a 33 year old woman.
I have tried so hard to blank it out but it hasn't been easy.
It has been hard to explain, which is why I never got understood or believed.
It shouldn't surprise me that none would understand. 2nd October 2010
Times are rather hard; money is tight, even though you don't get a lot of chance to hold me tight, still we're happy enough.
It's not just money problems it's other things in my life too but no worries it's not you.
I've been through good and bad before, I will get by just like I've always have done.
Not sleeping well but over tried with things on my mind.
Somehow I'll manage my work.
I'm worried about losing my work and business.
I will either run the business with support or not all.
My work means a lot to me so do you, even though I don't have enough private time with you.
Strangely I miss you even though I see you.
There's so much to tell you but very little time to say it. 2nd October 2010
Rape, rape.
Rape has damaged my mind.
Rape has ripped me up for 33yrs but not all my life has been black and white.
Memories are still there but thankfully now flashbacks and nightmares are very little compared to what they used to be.
From the age of a 7 year old child it happened until I was a 33 year old woman.
I have tried so hard to blank it out but it hasn't been easy.
It has been hard to explain, which is why I never got understood or believed.
It shouldn't surprise me that none would understand. 2nd October 2010
Our
eyes are our doors.
Our eyes are our doors, we close and open.
We never know what nights and days are until our eyes that are doors are open.
Sometimes we can't close our eyes that are doors at all when too much is on our minds about things we may and should and shouldn't know.
Sometimes we are only told half the story; we may have to wait until tomorrow comes, forever or not at all.
Some days and nights are different.
Other days and nights are all the same.
Some things have to start and finish but others don't happen at all.
Other things stay as they are, whether it's good bad life is life sometimes for a good reason other times for a bad.
Sometimes tomorrow is known other times it's unknown, sometimes it's better off unknown but most of the time it needs to be known.
At times life can be cure things happen that shouldn't.
Life is what you make but not everything happens by our choice, which doesn't leave us completely free.
When it comes to the government no one is free but no one is completely naughty.
We all need some control but not over controlled.
To be fare the world needs a balance so nothing is too fare or too unfair, which never seems to happen. 4.10.10
Our eyes are our doors, we close and open.
We never know what nights and days are until our eyes that are doors are open.
Sometimes we can't close our eyes that are doors at all when too much is on our minds about things we may and should and shouldn't know.
Sometimes we are only told half the story; we may have to wait until tomorrow comes, forever or not at all.
Some days and nights are different.
Other days and nights are all the same.
Some things have to start and finish but others don't happen at all.
Other things stay as they are, whether it's good bad life is life sometimes for a good reason other times for a bad.
Sometimes tomorrow is known other times it's unknown, sometimes it's better off unknown but most of the time it needs to be known.
At times life can be cure things happen that shouldn't.
Life is what you make but not everything happens by our choice, which doesn't leave us completely free.
When it comes to the government no one is free but no one is completely naughty.
We all need some control but not over controlled.
To be fare the world needs a balance so nothing is too fare or too unfair, which never seems to happen. 4.10.10
I think I am
having a breakdown.
I think I am having a nervous breakdown.
I feel like cracking up, I don't know what to do or where to turn.
I can't see what a head of me is.
Something or someone is pushing me over the edge.
What or and who could it be? 1997 – 2000
I think I am having a nervous breakdown.
I feel like cracking up, I don't know what to do or where to turn.
I can't see what a head of me is.
Something or someone is pushing me over the edge.
What or and who could it be? 1997 – 2000
The
Disabled Couple.
I'm so happy to
chat to you.
I will be more
than happy when I see you babe.
I'm missing you so
much that I already feel butterflies.
I feel the same
too.
I want to be in
your warm arms.
Babe kiss me my
sweet Sara I love you so much.
I will kiss you
when I see you again.
We will be walking
hand in hand on a hot summer's day.
A poem coming
along feeling like a song.
A poem coming
along about me and my boyfriend.
Yes I am Tiger Tim
I'm coming to get you babe. By Tiger Tim and Princess Sara. 4th August 2013
Disability Love.
I want to be in her warm arms and she wants to be in my warm arms.
Babe, kiss me my sweet Sara I love you so much will kiss you again babe.
When I see you again because I want to be with you again.
We walk hand in hand together in the park in the warm sun.
I wish I was in your arms babe with the rising sun shining on to us with love, my King Tiger Tim babe. 2nd October 2013
Disability Love.
I want to be in her warm arms and she wants to be in my warm arms.
Babe, kiss me my sweet Sara I love you so much will kiss you again babe.
When I see you again because I want to be with you again.
We walk hand in hand together in the park in the warm sun.
I wish I was in your arms babe with the rising sun shining on to us with love, my King Tiger Tim babe. 2nd October 2013
At times I feel a
breaking down point.
Never take too much on that you can't cope with.
Never have anything to do so your life won't be full filled.
There's no such word as psychology when the human brain is hard to understand.
There are no real answers to why we think like we do.
Its worse when the mind is confused and when the person does not know what to do.
If there are no heads, there are no brains.
Brain is not a word: it's just inside the mind of one's head.
It just gives one a message to tell them what to say.
As human beings, we are not clever; we just say what our brains tell us to say which normally a load of rubbish anyway. 12.6.2005
Never take too much on that you can't cope with.
Never have anything to do so your life won't be full filled.
There's no such word as psychology when the human brain is hard to understand.
There are no real answers to why we think like we do.
Its worse when the mind is confused and when the person does not know what to do.
If there are no heads, there are no brains.
Brain is not a word: it's just inside the mind of one's head.
It just gives one a message to tell them what to say.
As human beings, we are not clever; we just say what our brains tell us to say which normally a load of rubbish anyway. 12.6.2005
Open
our doors open our eyes.
Good morning time, there's very little freedom for us all.
Open our doors open our eyes.
The world is a mess in so much debt, we have been too greedy.
Now the world is losing money so one day it will all come to an end.
The future is unknown.
As one door closes another one opens.
Hello, to the good, goodbye to the bad.
Hello, to the bad, goodbye to the good.
That's the way life always is and that all it ever can be. 4.10.10
Good morning time, there's very little freedom for us all.
Open our doors open our eyes.
The world is a mess in so much debt, we have been too greedy.
Now the world is losing money so one day it will all come to an end.
The future is unknown.
As one door closes another one opens.
Hello, to the good, goodbye to the bad.
Hello, to the bad, goodbye to the good.
That's the way life always is and that all it ever can be. 4.10.10
Close
our doors close our eyes.
We need to clear out of our minds before we can close our doors and eyes on the old thoughts to bring new thoughts.
We mustn't worry about a thing; otherwise we could be bringing something bad into something good.
How can you feel good at the same time as feeling bad but somehow we do?
Sooner or later you need to be getting out of the bad to get into the good, we shouldn't mix good and bad but it seems to happen.
Nothing is good all the while; things may be either a little rough or crash for life.
The world used to be beautiful, we had very little war and very little crime was notice at time.
It good to know that we notice more crime but bad to know it happens, ever bladder to know that it happen and wasn't notice.
Some many things in life weren't notice a long time ago but more and more are notice now.
A never ending story and a never ending poem.
Making plans for the future without even knowing what the future is going be or not even realizing that there may not be any future.
Never make plans let the future be.
No safety in the world.
No surprise to anyone when there's too much crime by people who don't do their time, too much and greed with money that's going gone.
We need help to understand life, what is it about?
Why were we born, why do we die?
Why are we here in the first place?
Let the rain be sunshine, Sunshine be rain.
Not too cold not too hot.
Let there be safety not danger. 4.10.10
We need to clear out of our minds before we can close our doors and eyes on the old thoughts to bring new thoughts.
We mustn't worry about a thing; otherwise we could be bringing something bad into something good.
How can you feel good at the same time as feeling bad but somehow we do?
Sooner or later you need to be getting out of the bad to get into the good, we shouldn't mix good and bad but it seems to happen.
Nothing is good all the while; things may be either a little rough or crash for life.
The world used to be beautiful, we had very little war and very little crime was notice at time.
It good to know that we notice more crime but bad to know it happens, ever bladder to know that it happen and wasn't notice.
Some many things in life weren't notice a long time ago but more and more are notice now.
A never ending story and a never ending poem.
Making plans for the future without even knowing what the future is going be or not even realizing that there may not be any future.
Never make plans let the future be.
No safety in the world.
No surprise to anyone when there's too much crime by people who don't do their time, too much and greed with money that's going gone.
We need help to understand life, what is it about?
Why were we born, why do we die?
Why are we here in the first place?
Let the rain be sunshine, Sunshine be rain.
Not too cold not too hot.
Let there be safety not danger. 4.10.10
You never know!
Every
day is unknown,
You could be right
as rain one day not the next.
The future seems
very bright for you.
That day alone you
feel fitter, quicker and brighter than ever.
You can cope with
everything and anything, there's no stop in you.
Overnight
something bad happens to you, affects the rest of your life.
Now you feel worse
than you have ever felt.
Suddenly
everything and anything is out of you.
It's all gone for
life.
You are a changed
person.
You have lost
everything about you in your body and mind.
You can't do the
things you used yet you have the rest your life to live with it.
You have always
been successful in everything you do now you will be always unsuccessful.
The chance of
bringing back the person you were is very small.
My word you'd be
very lucky if you get back to who and what you were.
Make the best of
who and what you are, there may be no tomorrow.
Everyone has a
good and bad life as I write.
Birth, college
work, school work, nursery, friendships, relationship or and some kind of
stress.
We understand that
the world is tough for all people but
People with
disabilities and health problems find it twice as hard.
We get stressed,
upset and ill very easily.
Most people with
disabilities and health problems die younger compared to other people.
The main cause is
stress.
Some things for
people with disabilities are not possible without support.
People with
disabilities feel the odd ones out and alone compared with the rest of society.
Over the years I
have learned no one is alone with learning disabilities,
There’s more
than one person with disabilities, even if we feel alone.
I hope I have
written this book to help people to know what to except out of Autism and
learning disability.
I hope this will
help people with disabilities and health problems,
Families,
carers, professions,
Friends and lovers
of people with disabilities and health problems. 2013 - 2015-03-08
Writing
I started writing
when I stopped at my house in Wolverhampton 1993.
I was recovering
at Gran mother’s house from Cancer of the throat at the age of 23.
I was
watching Trevor Mcdould telling the news at 10.00pm
I suddenly
heard a flash of the council care homes closing down, which worried me.
I started
thinking about Charles Dickens writing about orphans and people worse off than myself.
I started writing
my life story and short stories.
I have had a few
reports published in odd newsletters.
By the time I was
27, I was writing poetry.
I had a poem
published in each of 11 books, this not one of them this is off my
website.
I have been
on many creative writing courses over the years.
In March 2009, I
went on a Script and Screen course in B'ham to Better writing.
December 2009, I
helped set up a Disabled Women's Writer's group.
December
2009, I helped Mencap set up a Disabled Writer's group.
March
2009, I was on a Script and Screen course to better my writing.
December 2010, I
was working on an Art project.
I with other
disabled artists helped Penn Hall Special school children create their own
Superhero. 2013 - 2015-03-08
What is Autism?
Autism is a life
time disability.
Autism can happen
at birth or not long after.
Autism can affect
people's communication and development.
People with Autism
find it hard to make sense of the world.
There are
three forms of Autism Spectrum, Asperser, and ADHD (Attention Deficit
Hyperactive Disorder).
There are major
and mild forms of Autism but none of them show.
Autism is more a
mental disability than a Physical disability.
Yet there may be
at least one of Autism form of Autism that links to Dyspraxia,
This is
also a physical disability as well mental disability.
Dyspraxia is a
hidden disability yet physical disability,
This is odd
because Physical disabilities are shown on the whole.
What causes
Autism?
The cause Autism
is still unknown 2013 - 2015-03-08
UNDERSTANDING
ANXIETY AND DEPRESSION.
Anxiety and
depression can be linked to learning disabilities.
Some people have anxiety, depression and epilepsy, which can link together.
If people get stressed very easily they can suffer from Panic attacks it can bring epilepsy but it doesn't affect everyone the same.
Change can be a big thing for a lot of people with Autism.
Autism world is strange.
Autism is a feeling the world over crowding you.
When you’re feeling as if you’re in prison but you’re not.
When you’re free you’re not free.
The world and its people seem bigger, smaller and better than you.
Everyone seems to have better chances, choices and control better than you.
Everyone has an education, job, family, lover, child, home, social life but not you.
Even if and when you have those things you always feel useless as if you’re spoiling someone Else's life because you need their support.
The world blind to see what depending on the rest of the world feels like.
The world is telling us what to do because we support, as adults we still feel like children.
As an adult you feel more useless when people are saying what you can and can't do.
Ok Autism affects our lives but with right support we will get through.
The world is lonely even when it's full, we must keep travelling in hopes loneliness and an overcrowded world is no more.
We can only hope but life goes on.
We mustn't think badly of life all the time.
Even when out seeing millions of people it's still a lonely world in a lonely room.
When people are there they may as well not be but even lovelier without them whether they are strange or not.
They are living in a different world to the Autism world.
We never stop believing in ourselves, despite the world overcrowding and closing us in. 19.2.2011
Some people have anxiety, depression and epilepsy, which can link together.
If people get stressed very easily they can suffer from Panic attacks it can bring epilepsy but it doesn't affect everyone the same.
Change can be a big thing for a lot of people with Autism.
Autism world is strange.
Autism is a feeling the world over crowding you.
When you’re feeling as if you’re in prison but you’re not.
When you’re free you’re not free.
The world and its people seem bigger, smaller and better than you.
Everyone seems to have better chances, choices and control better than you.
Everyone has an education, job, family, lover, child, home, social life but not you.
Even if and when you have those things you always feel useless as if you’re spoiling someone Else's life because you need their support.
The world blind to see what depending on the rest of the world feels like.
The world is telling us what to do because we support, as adults we still feel like children.
As an adult you feel more useless when people are saying what you can and can't do.
Ok Autism affects our lives but with right support we will get through.
The world is lonely even when it's full, we must keep travelling in hopes loneliness and an overcrowded world is no more.
We can only hope but life goes on.
We mustn't think badly of life all the time.
Even when out seeing millions of people it's still a lonely world in a lonely room.
When people are there they may as well not be but even lovelier without them whether they are strange or not.
They are living in a different world to the Autism world.
We never stop believing in ourselves, despite the world overcrowding and closing us in. 19.2.2011
January
blues.
January skies are dull not blue but all feel a bit sad and blue in January.
January skies are dull not blue but all feel a bit sad and blue in January.
I
felt low before, during and after Christmas.
Everyone feels low this time of year.
Winter time is a time of break ups, which makes you feel the January blues more.
I've cried so many times over the years over break ups, I have no tears to cry anymore.
Everyone feels low this time of year.
Winter time is a time of break ups, which makes you feel the January blues more.
I've cried so many times over the years over break ups, I have no tears to cry anymore.
I
have eaten too much over Christmas and stuffed in January.
Now I show my emotions by eating less and less instead.
People are slowly going back to work.
In time I know I need to get myself together to face the busy world yet again. 6.1.2013
They don't know about (about being disabled)
they shouldn't look at us as if we are mad.
They shouldn't look at us as if we are sad.
They seem to think more of the bad in us than good.
They should think well in us than bad.
They look at us to say we are useless to think we are useless and helpless.
They shouldn't judge us for what they see and hear of us.
It doesn't mean there are no disabilities just because they don't see them but it doesn't mean that we don't have any good in us either.
Whichever way they shouldn't judge to get us misunderstood.
They don't know about (being disabled) that's why they misunderstand us. 3rd - 4th March 2013
they shouldn't look at us as if we are mad.
They shouldn't look at us as if we are sad.
They seem to think more of the bad in us than good.
They should think well in us than bad.
They look at us to say we are useless to think we are useless and helpless.
They shouldn't judge us for what they see and hear of us.
It doesn't mean there are no disabilities just because they don't see them but it doesn't mean that we don't have any good in us either.
Whichever way they shouldn't judge to get us misunderstood.
They don't know about (being disabled) that's why they misunderstand us. 3rd - 4th March 2013
Poetry I wrote so long ago.
When I think what I wrote was a load of rubbish because I felt rubbish.
Somehow my rubbish words linked into poetry.
My poetry because with rubbish because I was so down from a man who broke my heart so badly.
I loved him so much but he didn't think as much of me as I did of him now I can't stand him.
Now what he had put me through had all come back on him and he feels for me how I used to feel for him.
How unhappy was I to write such rubbish.
How could I have loved a man who only pretended to love me yet I though so different at the time.
The way he hurt me it took me a long time to click he didn't think as much of me as what I thought.
How painful it was to face the world, I just didn't want to be here anymore but somehow I was too strong for that but at the time I never thought I was.
I drank heavy and those rubbish words came out on paper.
What rubbish words I wrote because I was so drunk.
Yet more and more words came out that turned into poetry.
The words were just unhappy thoughts that were going through my mind at the time.
I couldn't find any other way of controlling my mind and getting on with my life.
The only thing I could do was written.
When he saw what I wrote, his face just froze, and then said good poetry.
My poetry meant nothing to him but the truth did and the truth what I wrote was in my poetry.
I didn't write a load of rubbish after all, what I was trying to say was the man who I was in love with he was rubbish.
Many years later I thought about the very few words he said.
He wasn't awarding me for my poetry, he froze because he knew what I said was the truth of what I felt about him at the time.
He couldn't see that at that time it's as if he was so blind.
The time came when his feelings had changed so had mine, he felt how I used to feel, I felt how he used to feel.
When that day came it hit him harder than it hit me, it's now all too late for him.
He may have changed his mind but I never will, I will never make the same mistake twice even once was enough. 6.3.2013
When I think what I wrote was a load of rubbish because I felt rubbish.
Somehow my rubbish words linked into poetry.
My poetry because with rubbish because I was so down from a man who broke my heart so badly.
I loved him so much but he didn't think as much of me as I did of him now I can't stand him.
Now what he had put me through had all come back on him and he feels for me how I used to feel for him.
How unhappy was I to write such rubbish.
How could I have loved a man who only pretended to love me yet I though so different at the time.
The way he hurt me it took me a long time to click he didn't think as much of me as what I thought.
How painful it was to face the world, I just didn't want to be here anymore but somehow I was too strong for that but at the time I never thought I was.
I drank heavy and those rubbish words came out on paper.
What rubbish words I wrote because I was so drunk.
Yet more and more words came out that turned into poetry.
The words were just unhappy thoughts that were going through my mind at the time.
I couldn't find any other way of controlling my mind and getting on with my life.
The only thing I could do was written.
When he saw what I wrote, his face just froze, and then said good poetry.
My poetry meant nothing to him but the truth did and the truth what I wrote was in my poetry.
I didn't write a load of rubbish after all, what I was trying to say was the man who I was in love with he was rubbish.
Many years later I thought about the very few words he said.
He wasn't awarding me for my poetry, he froze because he knew what I said was the truth of what I felt about him at the time.
He couldn't see that at that time it's as if he was so blind.
The time came when his feelings had changed so had mine, he felt how I used to feel, I felt how he used to feel.
When that day came it hit him harder than it hit me, it's now all too late for him.
He may have changed his mind but I never will, I will never make the same mistake twice even once was enough. 6.3.2013
GPS think disabled people and health
problems are mad people.
Not enough time to spend with us to find out what is really wrong with us.
We are judged and misunderstood because we find it hard to explain ourselves.
If we have Mental Health problems we are mad people as far as the Gps think.
We are disbelieved because we look fine to them.
They either do scan and tests they come back normal and we are still unwell, doesn't make sense.
Some GPs refuse to do anything at all because they don't understand Learning Disability and Mental Health.
Whatever you say to the GPs they respond to you as if you have gone mad.
They can even mistake us look as if we are lying.
Ok we may well guess but neither patients or GPs don't until they do the tests.30.8.2013
Not enough time to spend with us to find out what is really wrong with us.
We are judged and misunderstood because we find it hard to explain ourselves.
If we have Mental Health problems we are mad people as far as the Gps think.
We are disbelieved because we look fine to them.
They either do scan and tests they come back normal and we are still unwell, doesn't make sense.
Some GPs refuse to do anything at all because they don't understand Learning Disability and Mental Health.
Whatever you say to the GPs they respond to you as if you have gone mad.
They can even mistake us look as if we are lying.
Ok we may well guess but neither patients or GPs don't until they do the tests.30.8.2013
I'd love to see myself as Mary Poplins.
Give me a broom stick so I can fly so high up to the sky.
Take me up to heaven for me to look down to say goodbye to earth.
In heaven I could be happy and high.
Give me a lolly pop stick so I can jump up and down from heaven to earth like a Jack in the box.
I will fly around in the sky such a high with my kite on windy days and nights.
I will swim around the sky when it rains.
Oh yes those will be the days that will never ever end.
Am I thinking about Mary Hopkins or Mary Poplins?
There used to be happy days on earth but not anymore. 30.8.2013
Give me a broom stick so I can fly so high up to the sky.
Take me up to heaven for me to look down to say goodbye to earth.
In heaven I could be happy and high.
Give me a lolly pop stick so I can jump up and down from heaven to earth like a Jack in the box.
I will fly around in the sky such a high with my kite on windy days and nights.
I will swim around the sky when it rains.
Oh yes those will be the days that will never ever end.
Am I thinking about Mary Hopkins or Mary Poplins?
There used to be happy days on earth but not anymore. 30.8.2013
What is wrong?
I felt unwell for no reason.
The headaches were too much.
I wasn't even drinking much if not at all that point but I felt as if I was.
The room was moving around as if I was on drink and drugs.
I could handy open my eyes if was as if I was blind but I wasn't going into sleep.
I was fully aware of what was going on around me.
Yet I was shaking and feeling dizzy but then I was still getting around.
Was it a sheer panic attack, fit or both?
I am unknown to whether not I have taking the right medication and dose for the past twelve years Lamotrigine 25mg and 50mg.
Now the side effects are just too much I have told my GP but she still tells me to carry on taking them. 31.8.2013
Side effects in my head.
Headaches and dizziness is due to my med.
don’t tell me that my Anxiety and depression is all in my head caused by the med!
I have always had Anxiety and depression anyway even without the med.
Feeling sleepy and drowsy but not been able to sleep doesn't make sense in my head.
Feeling clumsy on my legs and not been able to do too many things at once which I have never been able to do anyway.
Up and down to the toilet like a jack in the box with stomach upset.
Feeling irritability and the thoughts of taking my own life get worse.
It's only the people who loves me and I love are keeping me here.
Eye movements raid and uncontrolled.
Dry mouth, over tired and not been able to sleep.
Pain in back and joints. 31.8.2013
I felt unwell for no reason.
The headaches were too much.
I wasn't even drinking much if not at all that point but I felt as if I was.
The room was moving around as if I was on drink and drugs.
I could handy open my eyes if was as if I was blind but I wasn't going into sleep.
I was fully aware of what was going on around me.
Yet I was shaking and feeling dizzy but then I was still getting around.
Was it a sheer panic attack, fit or both?
I am unknown to whether not I have taking the right medication and dose for the past twelve years Lamotrigine 25mg and 50mg.
Now the side effects are just too much I have told my GP but she still tells me to carry on taking them. 31.8.2013
Side effects in my head.
Headaches and dizziness is due to my med.
don’t tell me that my Anxiety and depression is all in my head caused by the med!
I have always had Anxiety and depression anyway even without the med.
Feeling sleepy and drowsy but not been able to sleep doesn't make sense in my head.
Feeling clumsy on my legs and not been able to do too many things at once which I have never been able to do anyway.
Up and down to the toilet like a jack in the box with stomach upset.
Feeling irritability and the thoughts of taking my own life get worse.
It's only the people who loves me and I love are keeping me here.
Eye movements raid and uncontrolled.
Dry mouth, over tired and not been able to sleep.
Pain in back and joints. 31.8.2013
Feeling low.
Low in mood.
Feeling sad.
Low self-stream.
No get up and go.
Feeling guilty about everything as if everything is my fault for what goes wrong in the world.
Feeling irritate and intolerant towards people or is all of this in my head?
No motivation or interest in anything I am interested in but I am trying to fight it through.
I find it hard to make decisions.
I find it hard to enjoy life whatever I do.
I find it hard to want to carry on living.
I feel anxious and worried whether I have a reason to be or not.
I keep having suicidal thoughts which I am trying to knock it on the head.
My mind is thinking 24.7.
I even keep falling out with myself in my head.
It's like everything is my fault so I tell myself off all the while. 30.8.2013
I've lost my mind.
I once had a mind which I have lost.
What are you going to tell me that that's in my head when thinks 24.7?
It's either not thinking straight, too much or very rarely not at all.
Inside me there's a feeling as if life isn't living.
I have no energy no get up and go.
Tomorrow I have to force myself to do the job I love doing which doesn't make sense.
Even writing my poetry is hard for me to keep interest in but it's my way of managing the thoughts and feelings that going through my mind. 1.9.2013
It's may not be as bad as what it seems.
May be because I am not thinking straight nothing is as bad as what it seems.
I panic too quickly because I worry too easily.
There times I say things I don't mean because nothing seems to make sense to me at the time when I feel I have something to about.
With Anxiety people can worry whether they have a reason to or not.
Anything is easy for others to say because Anxiety isn't part of them it's part of you.
The way some how someone with depression doesn't make sense too.
People tend to think that people with depression think they have all bad life that's not the case.
Depression is a condition that is hard control when feel down whether is a reason or not.
People think you are not grateful for the good when you don't seem happy. Sadness is the opposite feeling to happiness.
You can't plain how you are going to feel one minute and one day to the next.
Depression is part of you like Anxiety is a part of you.
You can't say when you are going to feel sad and blue.
These things happen if and when they want to. 1.9.2013
Low in mood.
Feeling sad.
Low self-stream.
No get up and go.
Feeling guilty about everything as if everything is my fault for what goes wrong in the world.
Feeling irritate and intolerant towards people or is all of this in my head?
No motivation or interest in anything I am interested in but I am trying to fight it through.
I find it hard to make decisions.
I find it hard to enjoy life whatever I do.
I find it hard to want to carry on living.
I feel anxious and worried whether I have a reason to be or not.
I keep having suicidal thoughts which I am trying to knock it on the head.
My mind is thinking 24.7.
I even keep falling out with myself in my head.
It's like everything is my fault so I tell myself off all the while. 30.8.2013
I've lost my mind.
I once had a mind which I have lost.
What are you going to tell me that that's in my head when thinks 24.7?
It's either not thinking straight, too much or very rarely not at all.
Inside me there's a feeling as if life isn't living.
I have no energy no get up and go.
Tomorrow I have to force myself to do the job I love doing which doesn't make sense.
Even writing my poetry is hard for me to keep interest in but it's my way of managing the thoughts and feelings that going through my mind. 1.9.2013
It's may not be as bad as what it seems.
May be because I am not thinking straight nothing is as bad as what it seems.
I panic too quickly because I worry too easily.
There times I say things I don't mean because nothing seems to make sense to me at the time when I feel I have something to about.
With Anxiety people can worry whether they have a reason to or not.
Anything is easy for others to say because Anxiety isn't part of them it's part of you.
The way some how someone with depression doesn't make sense too.
People tend to think that people with depression think they have all bad life that's not the case.
Depression is a condition that is hard control when feel down whether is a reason or not.
People think you are not grateful for the good when you don't seem happy. Sadness is the opposite feeling to happiness.
You can't plain how you are going to feel one minute and one day to the next.
Depression is part of you like Anxiety is a part of you.
You can't say when you are going to feel sad and blue.
These things happen if and when they want to. 1.9.2013
Mountain out of a
mole hill.
Fear can be what you see in your mind that makes you worry before or if anything happens.
Sometimes it turns out to be not as bad as what you worry and even fear.
It's too easy for people to misunderstand you for being ungrateful for the good things you have got.
Even people with Anxiety and depression are aware that the world isn't all black and white.
Just because the world isn't all black and white it doesn't mean we haven't got these conditions.
Just because you see smiles on our faces doesn't mean Anxiety and Depression isn't in us.
It's our condition makes us the way we are but we also control it the best we can.
Thoughts of taking our live are a feeling of sadness whether we do it or not is really unknown to us.
Some of us find it hard to cope with and some of us find it hard but we just about manage it.
This is why so many of us have thoughts of taking our lives some of us think we can't cope but we still manage it better than what we thought for others it's completely too much.
Never please judge us as if we are ungrateful people.
Anxiety and Depression is a painful panic, worry, fear and sadness every day.
Sometimes we manage to show the feeling other times we don't. 1.9.2013
Fear can be what you see in your mind that makes you worry before or if anything happens.
Sometimes it turns out to be not as bad as what you worry and even fear.
It's too easy for people to misunderstand you for being ungrateful for the good things you have got.
Even people with Anxiety and depression are aware that the world isn't all black and white.
Just because the world isn't all black and white it doesn't mean we haven't got these conditions.
Just because you see smiles on our faces doesn't mean Anxiety and Depression isn't in us.
It's our condition makes us the way we are but we also control it the best we can.
Thoughts of taking our live are a feeling of sadness whether we do it or not is really unknown to us.
Some of us find it hard to cope with and some of us find it hard but we just about manage it.
This is why so many of us have thoughts of taking our lives some of us think we can't cope but we still manage it better than what we thought for others it's completely too much.
Never please judge us as if we are ungrateful people.
Anxiety and Depression is a painful panic, worry, fear and sadness every day.
Sometimes we manage to show the feeling other times we don't. 1.9.2013
winter is on its way.
Summer has gone.
Winter is now on its way.
It's seems a long way until summer is back again.
When the snow is here the ice seems to be there forever.
There's something about you I really like.
You seem like the perfect lover like there's no other. 1997 - 2013
You let me say what's on my mind.
I will never leave you like the others have left me.
No love for me has ever lasted like this one.
This love will last with me and you.
None of us are getting any younger.
Without your love I feel so down.
Every day and night I miss you more and more.
You are my best friend as well as my lover there is no other.
You have helped me through pain of Anxiety and depression.
Now I need your love to move me more forward. 1997 – 2013
Words keep us together.
You change my world and life everyday with your world of words.
You jump from my mind to the pen to the paper to the computer.
You are here for the rest of my life.
You are poetry.
Words are said from my mind to month to pen to paper to computer
we will never have broken hearts.
I love you like you love me.
We will always be true to one another.1997 - 2013
you are there.
You are there through my pain and happiness.
You have been there when my heart has been broken.
You don't answer me back.
You won't judge on what I say and do in my life.
I know we will always be true to one another.
I know you will always love me like I love you.
We will be always in each other's hearts.
We will never ever part.
Most of the time romance is one big joke.
With your kiss I will get my wish to get things off my mind with you poetry.
I love and miss you in my arms. 1997 – 2013
You change my world and life everyday with your world of words.
You jump from my mind to the pen to the paper to the computer.
You are here for the rest of my life.
You are poetry.
Words are said from my mind to month to pen to paper to computer
we will never have broken hearts.
I love you like you love me.
We will always be true to one another.1997 - 2013
you are there.
You are there through my pain and happiness.
You have been there when my heart has been broken.
You don't answer me back.
You won't judge on what I say and do in my life.
I know we will always be true to one another.
I know you will always love me like I love you.
We will be always in each other's hearts.
We will never ever part.
Most of the time romance is one big joke.
With your kiss I will get my wish to get things off my mind with you poetry.
I love and miss you in my arms. 1997 – 2013
Dull moon.
I know it was a dull start for us when we first
started dating in the dull moon.
Now we must believe that we have a bright start,
underneath us must be a bright star.
Bring out the bright stars.
Times were been hard not chatting as much during
the time you move but it will be worth the wait when you are sorted.
I will be thinking about and worrying about you
having so much to think about.
As stressful as it is now it will be good in the
end, you are worth the wait.
New start new life for both of us, I can’t wait but
then you are worth the wait. 2.12.13
Take as much time as you want and need.
Take as much time you want and need, I will always love you.
I may well miss you but I know you need to sort
yourself out for you to make a new start.
I know you are worth waiting for. 2.12.13
What has been my life about?
Feelings have been unknown for reasons why I have
fallen for the men who I have loved who weren’t right for me.
Now it doesn’t make sense to make why I felt like I
felt.
I thought at the time they were right for me.
If only I knew what they were going to put me
thorough.
I made my mistakes and I was in the wrong.
We are only human but depends how many mistakes
made and reasons behind them.
At the time the world around you is blind, everyone
else can see what you can’t.
Everyone is right, you are wrong you don’t know it
at the time.
You think you know it all but you don’t, life is so
unknown.
It’s just a matter of any length of time before
realize you were wrong and they were right.
Yet a time will come you will love a person who is
right for you, that’s what we all like to believe.
Some of us are lucky others aren't to love the
person who is right for them.
Everyone’s turn will happen one day to love the
person who is right for them.
The world around us is so unknown.
It’s all a never ending circle asking yourself if
you will love the love right for you.
We all say there’s someone out there for someone
but is there?
May there is but not for everyone but then there is
for everyone.
Is she right for him?
Is he right for her? 2.12.13
I was never real.
Fancy see you after roughly 12 mouths.
Why decide to get help for your drinking now?
Why didn't you try to help yourself when we’re seeing me?
Were you so drunk and blind not to see that I loved you so therefore you treated me like dirt?
I was never real to fall for you in the first place but still I won't be the first and I won't be the last.
Isn't it strange that you dumped me yet you were the one that was drinking so heavy?
I guess you may blame me for driving you to drink; maybe I did without realizing it.
How I got myself involved with you I will never know, I can only think that I fell foolishly fell in love with you.
I must have been out of my mind at that time to fall for a man with such a poor state of mind. 6.12.13 - 7.12.2013
Fancy see you after roughly 12 mouths.
Why decide to get help for your drinking now?
Why didn't you try to help yourself when we’re seeing me?
Were you so drunk and blind not to see that I loved you so therefore you treated me like dirt?
I was never real to fall for you in the first place but still I won't be the first and I won't be the last.
Isn't it strange that you dumped me yet you were the one that was drinking so heavy?
I guess you may blame me for driving you to drink; maybe I did without realizing it.
How I got myself involved with you I will never know, I can only think that I fell foolishly fell in love with you.
I must have been out of my mind at that time to fall for a man with such a poor state of mind. 6.12.13 - 7.12.2013
The beach.
I saw the waves of
Mar-gate Sea rushing very loudly as the tide went in and out.
Even when the
weather was beautiful, sunny and the sky was blue, it was blowing hot and cool
breeze as the sea crashed into cliffs and rocks.
The seagulls were
flying shrieking very quickly as the sun and breeze change from hot to
cold.
The seagulls were
making a very angrily nose as children shouting, screaming, laughing and crying
as they were building sandcastles in the sands.
The rides were too
fast on the dreamland fair grounds, which felt like been on a roller coaster.
Never eat candy
floss before a ride as you may feel dizzy and sick.
The smell of fish
and chips you couldn't miss. 7.12.2013
I carried on far
too long.
I carried on far too long I was in love far too long, which is my regret.
I should have seen
you on your bike sooner than I.
Even now I don't
believe how I felt about you but now it's you loss and it's my gain.
It seems as if
your life has been a loss since I have been out your life and even before then.
Losing your Mum,
me then your job.
To think I once
loved you so much, you hurt me so much that in the end I felt myself breaking
in half.
No I didn't break
in half because I am still on this earth to live my life in other ways as well
as love.
I when you dumped
me I felt as if I was weak but then I was strong.
I thought my life
was the end when I lost you but it was the beginning of meeting someone
new a lot better than you. 7.6.2013
Can't always be
right.
If only I knew
then what I know now.
I have finely seen
the light at the end of the tunnel and the wood between the trees.
I know I have to
tell myself I am only human and I am not a lone to have made mistakes.
Time to stop
kicking myself up the backside for the mistakes I have made, its so dam easy to
blame yourself for mistakes other people have made to.
May be 2014 should
be the year I should move from the mistakes I have made.
When you realise
what you have done to others and yourself you punish yourself for life.
Somehow some way
it all seems worse than it propley is.
It's hard to
accept nothing in time life is straight forward.
Many of us tell
ourselves off for what we think in our minds.
It's like nothing
turns out to what you hope but that's life.
Many would say
it's all just a dream and it's all in the mind, what does it say for time?
Many of the hopes
you have just seems to be a dream turning into a nightmare.
Many mistakes we
made didn't they were dreams that feel real that just turned into nightmares.
You can create the
future but not change the past.
You can't put
right what did wrong but you just don't do again.
It's far easy to
blame yourself something you’re not to or only partly to blame.
Your human you
can't do everything right then you can't do everything wrong.
You wouldn't make
mistakes if you weren't human but as you are human you do.
Anyone who says
they don't make mistakes is liars.
Stop blaming
yourself and move on even if you are to blame.
You are not alone
in the world and you are not alone to be wrong.
Move on and try
again, again, again, again, again until you finely get it right.
I know everyone
can see what you can't see that has been like me but you will see in the end.
7.6.2013
Mirror on the
wall.
This house is and
had its day the doors coming off its hinges, movements happen whether it's a
windy day or not.
Everything is
falling off the shelves, services and dressing tablets without any reasons or
and warnings.
Someone whose not
here is here there's nothing and no one to move about but moving around is
going on, how odd can this be?
Everything is
moving when it's not; I'm thinking this place is haunted.
I hear a smash for
no reason or warning as the mirror falls off the wall.
This wouldn't
bring me seven years bad luck would it as the mirror fell off the wall on its
own, as it smashes? 7.6.2013
You should never
have left me.
You said you'd
never leave me again but you lied.
I should never
have believed your lies.
You promised me
the earth I never got it but not that I accepted it but why did you have to
promise and lie?
I can't believe I
let you mess up my head for 13 and half years on and off.
It was my silly
fault for taking you back if only I didn't love you so much.
Thank goodness I
don't feel a thing for you anymore even though you still haunt my mind.
Never mind it was
a last chance that you did blew it in seven years, even though I
shouldn't have took you back at the time I did tell you it was your last
chance, what a loser you am. 7.12.13
Time to look
forward not back.
Our time together
will be like fire.
Our love burns up
like two pieces of wood on a fire.
No stop in us once
we start.
Every night I lie
on my pillow wondering when I will see you next.
I wake up in the
in the morning it's all become a dream that's all in my head.
In time I will put
my head on your shoulder then we get closer and closer.
I know I find it
hard to explain myself in a way that a lot of people understand.
My words aren't in
talent and poems just any old words coming out my head; I just say the words
that my head thinks. 7.12.2013
Life is too much
to bear.
In one we learned the hard way but in other way we learned the easy way.
The same goes in
today's world.
Life is made easy
and hard with IT meaning computers, mobile phones and etc.
Life becomes a
hard nightmare when you ring places up and it says on an answer press this for
that and that for this.
Back in the day we
didn’t know what a mobile was, we never thought twice to complain about walking
miles to the nearest red telephone boxes, which were either broken or you
waited ages in a quince.
There was always
something great on telly and social lives were great too now the telly is
rubbish and the pubs are dead.
There are
advantages and disadvantages about today and yesterday's generation which is
mostly on the internet.
There was so much
hidden that we know now today but not everything that goes on that we know
about today's world.
How in my life
time I have seen things changed so much so had many of you who were born before
and after me?
How I think I \can
cope without or should I say I used to be able to cope with the way life was
yet now I am lost without what I didn't have all those years ago. 16.10.2013
How can you say?
How can you say that love isn't to say you’re sorry when we are human, we can't do right all the while.
We can't please
the people we love all the while or and the people we think we love.
We are not made to
be perfect, we can't do everything right all the while, as good as it would be
how boring would it be?
No one can do
right all the while: there's only so much wrong we can do.
All the same where
would I be without you now with my head in the clouds?
Back in 1978 I saw
my Mother and Aunty crying and laughing at the same time with tears coming down
their eyes watching the film ' Love Story'.
I didn't
understand why or what was going on at the age of eight as I put the toilet
roll on the coffee table.
“Here you are you
mad pair."
Yet I had a music
jewel box with the ' Love Story' tune I played again and again.
Many years later I
brought the box from the library “Love Story" by Erich Seal.
I not that I
remember so I must read the book again. 23, 12.2013
Time to move on to
the next chapter in life.
You can only love so much.
You can only
forgive so much.
Yet most
relationships only last so long many last too long.
There again some
of us are luckier than others.
Some happen
shorter others happen longer.
Others don't love
at all.
It's all luck of
the draw that's all.
Just like health
and the way we live is luck of the draw. 23.12.2013
You life was ending round about
the next generation started.
I
may well be 100.00 younger more or less.
At
the age of twenty - seven I thought I lost a love but in the end he lost me.
This
broken love hurt me more than it should have done.
In
a different generation I was hurt in the same way you were.
Yet
you inspired me to get by in poetry, I believe I wouldn't have got through this
depression without you and many other poets who inspired me like you did.
Just
by walking along the college library, I picked up your book not been aware what
to except.
Despite
of being a writer I have been much of a reader but you inspired me so much
because what you had been through wasn't much different to what I was going
through at the time.
Despite
of having a nervous breakdown at the time over the love I thought I lost, I
still managed to get through my college as an English student.
If
only you could have lived to see the light at the end of the tunnel just like I
did in the end.
Yet
you left me such talent to full back on without even knowing it as a poet.
You
taught me so much about your short life just what put in your books.
It's
not a nice thing to say because it's so sad you died so young, at first I thought
your broken relationship had a lot to do with your death but I was so wrong.
You
were broken hearted but sadly didn't live long enough to see away forward. 24.
12.2013
Dyspraxia
I could never do up my buttons.
I could never do up my laces.
I could never clean my teeth how they should be cleaned.
My month is too small with too many teeth, food just get's everywhere it always has but I love it.
Exercise is hard to access when you have Dyspraxia.
I can't catch or throw a ball.
I couldn't even open a tin with a tin opener but then I discovered how to use the old fashioned tin openers after.
I love going to the pub, I'm useless with money then I over spend.
I have never been very good at maths.
I am better with English and words but I even get confused there because of my Dyslexic.
In a poem I can express my disabilities in a poem better than I can to people.
I am more skills with my writing and raising learning disability awareness than everyday living skills. 13.8.2012 - 17.8.2012
I could never do up my buttons.
I could never do up my laces.
I could never clean my teeth how they should be cleaned.
My month is too small with too many teeth, food just get's everywhere it always has but I love it.
Exercise is hard to access when you have Dyspraxia.
I can't catch or throw a ball.
I couldn't even open a tin with a tin opener but then I discovered how to use the old fashioned tin openers after.
I love going to the pub, I'm useless with money then I over spend.
I have never been very good at maths.
I am better with English and words but I even get confused there because of my Dyslexic.
In a poem I can express my disabilities in a poem better than I can to people.
I am more skills with my writing and raising learning disability awareness than everyday living skills. 13.8.2012 - 17.8.2012
Treatment.
Living on medication isn't fun.
Feeling dizzy and in another world.
You can miss what's going on around you.
It's hard to keep up with the rest of the world around you.
Many medications don't treat you like they should you.
Some medications that right you right bright something else on.
If life is like this then what are we here, what is life all about? 28.12.12
Living on medication isn't fun.
Feeling dizzy and in another world.
You can miss what's going on around you.
It's hard to keep up with the rest of the world around you.
Many medications don't treat you like they should you.
Some medications that right you right bright something else on.
If life is like this then what are we here, what is life all about? 28.12.12
Trying
too hard.
Too easy to fear the worst not everything is as bad as it seems.
The worst isn't always as bad as it seems.
At times the excepted can which could be good when you thought it was bad.
The future is unknown so don't plan, life is mapped out for you.
It's not helpful to worry about something that seems likes everything but then it's nothing at all.
Everyone is to blame at some point for worrying about something we should have done.
To move forward.
To believe in yourself then you can believe in others around you.
Don't lose trust in others because many others have broken your trust.
Like and love yourself then you can like and love others.
Something small seems really big.
The hole needs to be sewed up before it gets too big.
The mole needs to stop growing before it becomes a molehill.
The hardest part is to think positive when you have been thinking negative too long.
We can only think positive if we want.
In many cases in life there's no such word as can't, the words are won't and want. 26.10.2011
Too easy to fear the worst not everything is as bad as it seems.
The worst isn't always as bad as it seems.
At times the excepted can which could be good when you thought it was bad.
The future is unknown so don't plan, life is mapped out for you.
It's not helpful to worry about something that seems likes everything but then it's nothing at all.
Everyone is to blame at some point for worrying about something we should have done.
To move forward.
To believe in yourself then you can believe in others around you.
Don't lose trust in others because many others have broken your trust.
Like and love yourself then you can like and love others.
Something small seems really big.
The hole needs to be sewed up before it gets too big.
The mole needs to stop growing before it becomes a molehill.
The hardest part is to think positive when you have been thinking negative too long.
We can only think positive if we want.
In many cases in life there's no such word as can't, the words are won't and want. 26.10.2011
Tomorrow
is another day.
Never think good or bad about tomorrow.
You don't know what tomorrow is going to be like until it comes.
Even if the bad is here the good will come another day or bad may turn into good.
Good may happen as soon as tomorrow just wait and see.
Good will happen to those who wait.
Nothing can be good all the time.
Nothing can be bad all the time.
Change happens whether we like it not but some things happen for the worst others happen for the better.
Nothing can stay the same but some things do stay the same.
Life would be boring if everything stayed the same yet if everything changed.
It's not good to stay sad all the time; too much pain can damage you.
It's not good stay happy all the time; too much happiness can spoil you too much.
Pain can make you strong.
Too much happiness can make you weak but lot happiness can make you stable. 2011 - 2015-03-08
Never think good or bad about tomorrow.
You don't know what tomorrow is going to be like until it comes.
Even if the bad is here the good will come another day or bad may turn into good.
Good may happen as soon as tomorrow just wait and see.
Good will happen to those who wait.
Nothing can be good all the time.
Nothing can be bad all the time.
Change happens whether we like it not but some things happen for the worst others happen for the better.
Nothing can stay the same but some things do stay the same.
Life would be boring if everything stayed the same yet if everything changed.
It's not good to stay sad all the time; too much pain can damage you.
It's not good stay happy all the time; too much happiness can spoil you too much.
Pain can make you strong.
Too much happiness can make you weak but lot happiness can make you stable. 2011 - 2015-03-08
Morning.
The day has just started.
The clouds are white.
The sky is grey.
I find hard to think good or bad thoughts, I just get on with my day.
Nevertheless I am ok until.
I come back from the Job Centre; I get a letter through my door from Income Support.
Saying I said I am working when I haven't said anything at all.
I am working hard not to let these Benefit people stress me out before I scream and shout.
The only you in my mind keeps me calm.
I'm willing to stay stable and calm despite the fact the problem needs to be looked at soon as possible. 27.1o.2011
everyone is looking at me.
The bar is crowded.
I try to find a condor.
I try to find a space to wait for the crowd to calm down.
Everyone is looking at me knowing that I fear crowds.
I walk out the pub, where I go next is unknown.
I come back there are less people standing by the bar as I get myself a drink.
Now I take forever to find a seat, in the mean time people are staring at me knowing that I am stressed.
They are looking at me strange, and then I turn my head away.
In time I smile, they wonder what I am smiling at.
I am thinking that I don't need a reason to make me smile.
Who cares what they think?
So what I am smiling for no reason, mad they might think.
There's no point being sad only because they might be. 27.10.2011
The day has just started.
The clouds are white.
The sky is grey.
I find hard to think good or bad thoughts, I just get on with my day.
Nevertheless I am ok until.
I come back from the Job Centre; I get a letter through my door from Income Support.
Saying I said I am working when I haven't said anything at all.
I am working hard not to let these Benefit people stress me out before I scream and shout.
The only you in my mind keeps me calm.
I'm willing to stay stable and calm despite the fact the problem needs to be looked at soon as possible. 27.1o.2011
everyone is looking at me.
The bar is crowded.
I try to find a condor.
I try to find a space to wait for the crowd to calm down.
Everyone is looking at me knowing that I fear crowds.
I walk out the pub, where I go next is unknown.
I come back there are less people standing by the bar as I get myself a drink.
Now I take forever to find a seat, in the mean time people are staring at me knowing that I am stressed.
They are looking at me strange, and then I turn my head away.
In time I smile, they wonder what I am smiling at.
I am thinking that I don't need a reason to make me smile.
Who cares what they think?
So what I am smiling for no reason, mad they might think.
There's no point being sad only because they might be. 27.10.2011
Change.
You cannot avoid change.
One bus has gone but another bus is come.
When is an unknown question?
One love has gone but another love is soon.
When is an unknown question?
Some people or and things are meant be the same but not everything and everybody.
When is any time?
Today
Tomorrow
the next day
Next week
Next year
who knows?
Whatever or whoever you are waiting for something or someone may be right for you.
There are at least some things and some people stay put but not all.
Some things you need to work to get what's right for you but some of us never find it or who.
Don't try hard because that will never do, you will never get anywhere.
Try hard enough because you never get anywhere if you don't try at all.
Don't hope too much, you will never get anywhere.
Take every day as it comes, if that isn't good enough nothing ever will be.
Never think you can get all what you want. 27.10.2011
You cannot avoid change.
One bus has gone but another bus is come.
When is an unknown question?
One love has gone but another love is soon.
When is an unknown question?
Some people or and things are meant be the same but not everything and everybody.
When is any time?
Today
Tomorrow
the next day
Next week
Next year
who knows?
Whatever or whoever you are waiting for something or someone may be right for you.
There are at least some things and some people stay put but not all.
Some things you need to work to get what's right for you but some of us never find it or who.
Don't try hard because that will never do, you will never get anywhere.
Try hard enough because you never get anywhere if you don't try at all.
Don't hope too much, you will never get anywhere.
Take every day as it comes, if that isn't good enough nothing ever will be.
Never think you can get all what you want. 27.10.2011
I'm
alone but not alone.
Loneliness is my friend who doesn't reply back when been spoken to.
Loneliness is my home.
If I want a reply to what I say I'm out and about.
Night time is the time when I'm out even if people don't speak to me.
Life carries on without you even though I love you so much.
When I'm out I don't if and when I see you again but seeing little of you suit me fine.
My bed is calling and waiting for me at the end of the night or the morning light.
Loneliness is waiting for me yet again therefore no one knows my private thoughts about me and you other than me and you.
When I can't sleep I think about you.
When I sleep I have deep dreams about you.
If I sleep at all woken by heavy traffic and very strong winds, how very strange?
I'm not a lone to be alone. 18.9.2011
Sorry I can't sleep.
I keep counting sheep every time I try to sleep.
May be I have lost count of the sheep.
They keep me awake by saying.
Baa baa!
It seems like a thousand years since I saw you to love you or sorry was it only today or yesterday?
We may have to wait to see one another forever; it may be today, tomorrow, whenever or never.
Never mind look forward to seeing you next time whenever that is.
I may not be a very good sleeper but mornings are now too cold to get out of bed.
It's too warm in bed.18.9.2011
Loneliness is my friend who doesn't reply back when been spoken to.
Loneliness is my home.
If I want a reply to what I say I'm out and about.
Night time is the time when I'm out even if people don't speak to me.
Life carries on without you even though I love you so much.
When I'm out I don't if and when I see you again but seeing little of you suit me fine.
My bed is calling and waiting for me at the end of the night or the morning light.
Loneliness is waiting for me yet again therefore no one knows my private thoughts about me and you other than me and you.
When I can't sleep I think about you.
When I sleep I have deep dreams about you.
If I sleep at all woken by heavy traffic and very strong winds, how very strange?
I'm not a lone to be alone. 18.9.2011
Sorry I can't sleep.
I keep counting sheep every time I try to sleep.
May be I have lost count of the sheep.
They keep me awake by saying.
Baa baa!
It seems like a thousand years since I saw you to love you or sorry was it only today or yesterday?
We may have to wait to see one another forever; it may be today, tomorrow, whenever or never.
Never mind look forward to seeing you next time whenever that is.
I may not be a very good sleeper but mornings are now too cold to get out of bed.
It's too warm in bed.18.9.2011
Disability,
Bullying and Hate Crime.
We are seen but not heard.
It's hard to believe if you don't see.
It's hard to know what's happened when you’re not there.
People with learn in dis a Billi ties find it hard to make ourselves under stood.
We can't help the way we are.
Most things are hard to talk about it can be hard to get things off our minds.
It can be hard to get Hate Crime off our minds.
People who do Hate Crime should get a life time.
Most people who bully as children do Hate Crime as adults.
Most people today get away with bullying and Hate Crime because the law lets them.
There used to be a time that children were taught to learn right from wrong.
People who bully and do Hate Crime get away with it forever or for a long time.
Just because people don't see us get hurt it doesn't mean we don't.
You see some of us can't stand up for ourselves.
Not many of us who can stand up for ourselves.
Those of us who do manage to stand up for we get mis under stood for the bullies.
The world thinks we are bullies instead of victims.
People who bully and or do hate crime don't always get found out.
20.1.2011
We are seen but not heard.
It's hard to believe if you don't see.
It's hard to know what's happened when you’re not there.
People with learn in dis a Billi ties find it hard to make ourselves under stood.
We can't help the way we are.
Most things are hard to talk about it can be hard to get things off our minds.
It can be hard to get Hate Crime off our minds.
People who do Hate Crime should get a life time.
Most people who bully as children do Hate Crime as adults.
Most people today get away with bullying and Hate Crime because the law lets them.
There used to be a time that children were taught to learn right from wrong.
People who bully and do Hate Crime get away with it forever or for a long time.
Just because people don't see us get hurt it doesn't mean we don't.
You see some of us can't stand up for ourselves.
Not many of us who can stand up for ourselves.
Those of us who do manage to stand up for we get mis under stood for the bullies.
The world thinks we are bullies instead of victims.
People who bully and or do hate crime don't always get found out.
20.1.2011
Strange.
The world dull no one knows on one.
People are there but no one is there.
No one believes anyone.
No one trusts one another because no one knows anyone.
No one knows what say to anyone.
Everyone is scared of one another because it's hard to trust one another.
Not enough love for one another anymore.
The world was once a world everyone knew everyone now no one knows anyone.
No one knows what to say so no one says anything but we are so scared of one another.
The world is quiet but noise with shouting and crime.
The world feels strange yet it shouldn't feel strange feeling strange these days.
The way the world is going these days it will get strangers all the time.
Not enough punishment.
Not enough respect.
Not enough manners.
There was a time that the bad were very few and far between.
There was never a perfect was and will be a perfect but not as bad as this.
It makes it hard to believe that it will get better but never put a guest on anything the world isn't all black and white.19.2.2011
Autism world is strange.
Autism is a feeling the world over crowding you.
When you’re feeling as if you’re in prison but you’re not.
When you’re free you’re not free.
The world and its people seem bigger, smaller and better than you.
Everyone seems to have better chances, choices and control better than you.
Everyone has an education, job, family, lover, child, home, social life but not you.
Even if and when you have those things you always feel useless as if you’re spoiling someone Else's life because you need their support.
The world blind to see what depending on the rest of the world feels like.
The world is telling us what to do because we support, as adults we still feel like children.
As an adult you feel more useless when people are saying what you can and can't do.
Ok Autism affects our lives but with right support we will get through.
The world is lonely even when it's full, we must keep travelling in hopes loneliness and an overcrowded world is no more.
We can only hope but life goes on.
We mustn't thing bad of life all the time.
Even when out seeing millions of people it's still a lonely world in a lonely room.
When people are there they may as well not be but even lovelier without them whether they are strange or not.
They are living in different world to Autism world.
We never stop believing in ourselves, despite the world overcrowding and closing us in. 19.2.2011
The world dull no one knows on one.
People are there but no one is there.
No one believes anyone.
No one trusts one another because no one knows anyone.
No one knows what say to anyone.
Everyone is scared of one another because it's hard to trust one another.
Not enough love for one another anymore.
The world was once a world everyone knew everyone now no one knows anyone.
No one knows what to say so no one says anything but we are so scared of one another.
The world is quiet but noise with shouting and crime.
The world feels strange yet it shouldn't feel strange feeling strange these days.
The way the world is going these days it will get strangers all the time.
Not enough punishment.
Not enough respect.
Not enough manners.
There was a time that the bad were very few and far between.
There was never a perfect was and will be a perfect but not as bad as this.
It makes it hard to believe that it will get better but never put a guest on anything the world isn't all black and white.19.2.2011
Autism world is strange.
Autism is a feeling the world over crowding you.
When you’re feeling as if you’re in prison but you’re not.
When you’re free you’re not free.
The world and its people seem bigger, smaller and better than you.
Everyone seems to have better chances, choices and control better than you.
Everyone has an education, job, family, lover, child, home, social life but not you.
Even if and when you have those things you always feel useless as if you’re spoiling someone Else's life because you need their support.
The world blind to see what depending on the rest of the world feels like.
The world is telling us what to do because we support, as adults we still feel like children.
As an adult you feel more useless when people are saying what you can and can't do.
Ok Autism affects our lives but with right support we will get through.
The world is lonely even when it's full, we must keep travelling in hopes loneliness and an overcrowded world is no more.
We can only hope but life goes on.
We mustn't thing bad of life all the time.
Even when out seeing millions of people it's still a lonely world in a lonely room.
When people are there they may as well not be but even lovelier without them whether they are strange or not.
They are living in different world to Autism world.
We never stop believing in ourselves, despite the world overcrowding and closing us in. 19.2.2011
It
doesn't seem what its feels.
It's seems like darkness with no brightness.
It's seems as if love isn't going to happen.
Yet I feel so much love towards you.
I'm missing you so much.
Giving up on you seems and feels very hard for me to do.
Days and nights without you seem as if I'm never going to see you again.
It's a lonely world without you but nothing and no one can take away how I feel about you.
Every day and night my feelings are too strong to let go. 20.2.2011
when I see you.
When see you, you brighten up my world.
You make my day and night.
When I'm not seeing you the world is strange, dark and dull.
I never give up; I can take the pain of not seeing you as long as it takes because I love you for you. 20.11.2011
It's seems like darkness with no brightness.
It's seems as if love isn't going to happen.
Yet I feel so much love towards you.
I'm missing you so much.
Giving up on you seems and feels very hard for me to do.
Days and nights without you seem as if I'm never going to see you again.
It's a lonely world without you but nothing and no one can take away how I feel about you.
Every day and night my feelings are too strong to let go. 20.2.2011
when I see you.
When see you, you brighten up my world.
You make my day and night.
When I'm not seeing you the world is strange, dark and dull.
I never give up; I can take the pain of not seeing you as long as it takes because I love you for you. 20.11.2011
What are learning
disabilities?
There all kinds of
disabilities in all kinds of people.
Some people one disability others have a lot more than one.
Disabilities can be physical or and mental depending on the cause and when they happened, which could before, during or after birth.
Mental disabilities affect the brain and physical disabilities affect the body.
Some people have Mental and Physical disabilities, others have one or the other and some have both.
Disabilities affect your everyday life by slowing your brain and body down, which can make it hard for you to learn.
Most people think people with disabilities are thick because we take longer to learn than they do but at end of the day we get there in the end.
Slower the jobs better the job.
Most things in life aren't possible without support so most rights are taken away from people with disabilities because we haven't got the right support or none at all.
Learning disabilities can affect everyday lives in different ways depending on the people who have to cope with learning disabilities.
For example cooking, shopping, washing, bathing, and dressing; work, education, employment, making friends, relationships and etc.
These are things that people can forget that most people can't cope with because they can.
People with disabilities can be the odd ones out of society because we need extra help than other people with different things.
How can you help people with disabilities to have the same rights as you do with the right support by our choices of life? Email me on sarajgorman@gmail.com 2011 - 2015-03-08
Some people one disability others have a lot more than one.
Disabilities can be physical or and mental depending on the cause and when they happened, which could before, during or after birth.
Mental disabilities affect the brain and physical disabilities affect the body.
Some people have Mental and Physical disabilities, others have one or the other and some have both.
Disabilities affect your everyday life by slowing your brain and body down, which can make it hard for you to learn.
Most people think people with disabilities are thick because we take longer to learn than they do but at end of the day we get there in the end.
Slower the jobs better the job.
Most things in life aren't possible without support so most rights are taken away from people with disabilities because we haven't got the right support or none at all.
Learning disabilities can affect everyday lives in different ways depending on the people who have to cope with learning disabilities.
For example cooking, shopping, washing, bathing, and dressing; work, education, employment, making friends, relationships and etc.
These are things that people can forget that most people can't cope with because they can.
People with disabilities can be the odd ones out of society because we need extra help than other people with different things.
How can you help people with disabilities to have the same rights as you do with the right support by our choices of life? Email me on sarajgorman@gmail.com 2011 - 2015-03-08
Things
on your mind.
There can be things on your mind all the time.
Most of the time you think of things that happened a long time ago.
No matter how hard you try to blank these thoughts out you never forget.
These are very often things that are hard to talk about and explain yet never understood.
We can feel frightened to say anything at all.
For me it happened at school.
A lot of people told me it was all in my mind but it's always there never forgotten no matter how hard I try to forget.
Why has it been there all my life, yet I have tried so hard to blank it out?
I have learning disabilities, I don't have the same understanding as other people yet I'm not alone in the world anymore, I never was, I only thought I was alone. 30.9.2010
Unheard voice.
When you have learning disabilities, you are always children in the eyes of society.
Nothing has seemed to have changed, I guess it never will but it still seems as if not a lot has changed in the last 30 years or more, that's not been understood or listened to.
After not been listened to, understand or believed by adults when I was a child.
It carried on far too long into my young adult years.
I guess I never got heard because of my learning disabilities.
It's as if people knew that I wasn't suppose to know anything but I knew I had been hurt in some way, explaining it was hard.
I knew nothing but a long true nightmare that I still can't get out my head from the age of seven upwards, now I am 41.
This happened to me more than once and more than one person.
It's just so hard to explain, which not a lot has changed when it first began.
It happened so long ago.
I shouldn't try to tell because I don't know what happened yet I don't forget.
It doesn't make any sense but strange as it sounds it's true that strange unexpected things even now still come out of the blue. 30.9.2010
There can be things on your mind all the time.
Most of the time you think of things that happened a long time ago.
No matter how hard you try to blank these thoughts out you never forget.
These are very often things that are hard to talk about and explain yet never understood.
We can feel frightened to say anything at all.
For me it happened at school.
A lot of people told me it was all in my mind but it's always there never forgotten no matter how hard I try to forget.
Why has it been there all my life, yet I have tried so hard to blank it out?
I have learning disabilities, I don't have the same understanding as other people yet I'm not alone in the world anymore, I never was, I only thought I was alone. 30.9.2010
Unheard voice.
When you have learning disabilities, you are always children in the eyes of society.
Nothing has seemed to have changed, I guess it never will but it still seems as if not a lot has changed in the last 30 years or more, that's not been understood or listened to.
After not been listened to, understand or believed by adults when I was a child.
It carried on far too long into my young adult years.
I guess I never got heard because of my learning disabilities.
It's as if people knew that I wasn't suppose to know anything but I knew I had been hurt in some way, explaining it was hard.
I knew nothing but a long true nightmare that I still can't get out my head from the age of seven upwards, now I am 41.
This happened to me more than once and more than one person.
It's just so hard to explain, which not a lot has changed when it first began.
It happened so long ago.
I shouldn't try to tell because I don't know what happened yet I don't forget.
It doesn't make any sense but strange as it sounds it's true that strange unexpected things even now still come out of the blue. 30.9.2010
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