Even though I have been writing since I was twenty - three years old, started with short stories which weren’t that good but at the age of twenty - seven I started writing poetry during a mental break down.
OUR DULL GREY WEATHER!
Although today the weather changes very quickly from hot to cold all over the UK, the sky in the Black Country changing from black to white but very rarely blue these days.
You always miss the black, white, dull or grey sky turning to blue, I wonder why?
Today you never see the sky without a cloud.
Most of the time the weather doesn't tell you the truth.
Never believe it if the sky is blue in the Black Country, that it's warm enough or hot enough outside.
Never believe it when the sky is grey, black, white or and dull that the weather is cold.
Carry your coat or put it in a bag just in case because you can go hot and cold in seconds, in fact less time than that at timeThe Black Country started off with smoke and coal, now its turn to thunder and rain that has washed out the old coal fires, may be a little sun if we're lucky.
WHAT I HAVE FOUND OUT ABOUT THE BLACK COUNTRY.
An American consul Elihi Burritt in Birmingham 1862 once said or wrote about the Black Country, Black by day and red by night. When we think about Elilhi having said that Black Country saying may be he gave the Black Country its name. How Strange a British American could have so much truth of describing the Black Country? This was because the Black Country area had a 30ft coal seam in the 19th century, this came from West Bromwich, and Old bury, Blackheath, Cradle Heath, Old Hill, Bilston, Dudley, Tipton, Wednesfield, parts of Halesowen and Wedensbury.
I
When we were lovers.
What a kind sweet gentleman he used to be.
Whatever has happened to us?
He was full of love, happiness, and joy to be.
He used to be a lovely gentleman and boy.
He still has lovely brown eyes.
People think he has lost his mind.
People think he's gone blind.
Now that I have lost him, I am very wary who I find.
What if they don't replace the love I lost?
Where's the man's voice that made me laugh?
Where's his handsome face that made me smile?
Where's the touch of his arms?
Where's the touch of his charm?
Where's the man who walked me home in the dark and the rain.
Where's the man I'd dreamt about in my sleep without a doubt.
Where's the man who beauty me every time he looked at me. Written 1997
What do you want from me?
One minute you want me and the next minute you don't.
Make up your mind, love is not a mind game!
You will go ages without touching me then you suddenly do.
I know who I want but if you don't want me, I'd be a foal to wait forever.
Think about it, there's no going back once it's too late, who says I says I am going to be soft forever, I don't know?
If I did not love you so much it would not bother me.
The fact you know I love you, you know you can play on my mind.
You are confused so you are confusing me at the same time.
You will my life worse for yourself in the end!
Why do you only touch me these days when you have had a drink?
The day after drinking I know you don't feel the same.
Please stick to one answer and please tell me what that answer is!
Why am I waiting for you, I'm wasting my time like a soft fool when I could be doing better?
There must be someone out there who loves me better than you, I must be a fool to myself I really must be.2009
What will be will be?
Perhaps one day this very special friend whoever he may be will love me for me.
It could be a long time to come until I love again but hopefully it will be worth the wait if I'm not looking.
Yet I may well be foolish to love the love one now but love is a drug when you have loved for so long.
I am trying to get out there by doing Speed Dating which is not easy at the moment but hopefully I will get there one day. 2009.
Trying to control feelings.
It's so hard to close door once you have loved someone for so long.
Why did I let it go too far?
Why did I hold onto you so tight, now I find it so hard to let go?
Why do I still love you after what you put me through?
Take my advice people; try not to full in love too deep, you can't get out once you get in.
If you let it like I did, love can be a habit and a drug as Bryan Ferry sang in one of his songs.
Well I should say don't fall in love too easy!
If only I knew what makes me feel strongly in love with you.
Why do I still feel this strongly in love with you?
I only wish I knew.
If only I knew 15 yrs ago what I know now.
Don't give too many chances because it gets harder as time goes on!
We must have hurt one another a thousand times but you have seemed to have stopped loving me but why haven't I stopped loving you?
If only I listened to people.
What am I on about? I still haven't learned.
I've been so soft and I am still soft today, I wonder if I will change at 40 which are not far away, scary ah?
Never let love take over your life, I wish I never did.
Please people don't make the same mistake as me!
I will need friendship to get to know someone before I love again.
After knowing the same guy for fifteen yrs, getting to know someone new will take some getting used to that's if that ever happens again.
Is my life over if it does not happen before 40? No my life has not ended.
Does life begin at the 40?
The answer, I will tell you when I get to 40 which are only in roughly 6 to 8 mouths time.
Positive thinking it's never too late for anything.
My life won't be over but it might begin.
My relationship may have ended but I think my career only began 2 yrs ago.
Never say never, it may be a long time happening but I believe it will happen.
My career took long enough.
Make the most of life because it's too short living but forever dead. 2009
Day to day life.
Today more than years ago, jobs are hard to find.
There's no work for anyone, mainly people without a home address.
There has always been a homeless person but there more and more people begging for money and other things, mostly homeless people with this credit crunch.
So many jobs are lost and so many businesses have closed down.
Even people who have their own homes are having problems paying for
them so how can t everyone in the world help each other?
What is the world coming to?
Not everyone has lost their homes but not everyone had not had a home in the first place.
You can see the difference in people's lives from not been homeless to homeless, the way
they dress, behave and live their lives.
Nothing seems to change unless help is given, which is very hard in today's world.
They sleep on the street.
They beg people for money to buy breakfast, lunch, tea, supper and etc if they are lucky.
We all morn about how hard it is to cope ourselves in our homes but the outside world is worse than the inside world.
If work and education is hard for them to find so they could have all the experience and exams in world and still find it hard to get a job because there's no money, not many jobs and not enough support in the world for them.
It's the same life for them day in and out, they are just about coping to live, they are lucky if someone stops to chat because people have busy lives and no money to give them.
They have boring lives as they can't work or go to college or wherever they should go to get educated.
A lot of people have lost their families as well as their homes.
When we see these people they seem more happy than lucky us.
They have such lovely smiles on their faces.
Where on earth do theses people come from? 2009
DISABLED WORLD.
I have been living in this disabled world since the day I was born.
No wonder I am not understood by non - disabled people because
we don't come from the same world.
We don't speak the same language either.
People with disabilities understand easy words and clear pictures.
Most Non - disabled people speak jargon, people with disabilities don't understand that.
It doesn't all apply to all non - disabled people.
It can be very hard when people don't know us.
I am not the only disabled person in the world.
There are disabled people all over the world.
We are seen as a danger to society in our way, why should we be looked upon a shame on our selves and the world around us? We should not be at fault for being disabled.
We are sorry to be such hard work to society but then why should we be sorry?
We did not make ourselves disabled, these things happen who knows why?
We shouldn't have to say sorry to non - disabled people for being the way we are.
Non - disabled people should stick to their own world but support us if and when we want and need support.
What a boring world it would be if the world was perfect.
Do we disabled people have disabilities written on our foreheads?
Perhaps or perhaps not because we don't always get believed that we have disabilities when the truth comes out that's when we aren't treated equally,
so people need to be aware of our disabilities but give us the support and right to be treated like non - disabled people.
(Give us a balance between the two!)
It can be very hard when people don't know us.
I am not the only disabled person in the world.
There are disabled people all over the world.
I am not the only disabled person in the world.
There are disabled people all over the world.
Why should we feel like the odd one out when there is more than one of us with disabilities?
We mustn't let society put and get us down anymore.
We are all human beings like you, whether we are disabled or not. 2009
IT'S NOT EASY.
It's not easy for a woman to tell a man how she really feels for him, when she really loves him, mainly when they have been lovers then friends for too many years.
I have known you far too long that it’s feels as my heart belong to you, even though we are just friends.
I have tried so hard to move on, change my life and love someone else but my feelings for you are far too strong.
It would seem so unfair to try and love someone else now, when I am so in love with you.
I am still trying hard to live a life of my own in hopes one day I will finely comes terms with how you feel instead of just me.( Like Speed Dating for eg. )
I don't find it easy to walk away from you and not come back; you know I have tried that before.
I'm totally and utterly crazy about you.
I love you so much don't you ever forget it!
I don't have to say anything else do I?
I have tried so hard to stop loving you but I am so sorry I haven't succeeded in changing my feelings for you.
I'm sorry I don't know how to let my love go for you. 2009
RIGHTS TO BE FREE.
Feel free to say what you want.
Feel free to do what you want.
Feel free to listen to what you want.
Feel free to write what you want.
Feel free to read what you want.
As long as you respect the rights of others too.
You are only on this earth once.
There's no going back once you have gone. 2007 – 2009
WHO SAYS?
Who says people with disabilities are useless?
Who says we are difference even though we may look difference?
We can achieve our own skills just like you so why not let us put those skills to use for our future just like you?
We have a future as much as you do otherwise why are we here?
Some of us have our body parts others don't but it doesn't make us useless there is something about everyone.
Some of us can paint with our hands others can paint with their feet.
We can use our body and mind in difference ways
only because we are slow than you it doesn't mean we don't know anything.
All we need is your support we don't need you to put us down.
Just think guys if disabilities hadn't have happen to us, they could have happened to you.
If you would have had disabilities like us what would you have done then?
It’s hard for you to think about the affects a disability would have on your lives unless you have a disability.
If were you were in our shoes, you'd understand what we mean.
A lot of people can be fine for years then they may have a serious accident, that's when they understand a lot of things in their life they had before hand has been taken away from them.
If they are lucky, they may get the same things back but only with the right support. 2007 – 2011
NO ONE KNOWS ANYONE.
You made me to be in this world.
The first twenty-one years of my life you weren't there.
I was no one to you; at least it felt that way anyway.
You were no one to me, it seemed as if as I wasn't anyone to you because I never saw you.
When I first met you at the age of twenty - one, I thought we put the piece of the jigsaw together but I was wrong.
Now I feel as if a piece of the jizsaw is missing in me again.
I think I have lost myself again.
Perhaps part of me was always been missing and always will be.
Why do I have a feeling that two human beings are missing out of my life too?
Why do I have feeling that they are asking themselves unanswered questions like I did as a child?
I want to help them because I know how it feels; it's as if you are in the dark.
It's feels as I am feeling the same way again as I did as a child knowing that my half brother and sister are going through the same as I did.
I'm their half big sister, of course I want to be there for them and help them.
You aren't going to help them are you?
Don't you realise what you have done and how it has affected our minds?
The past doesn't matter; I've been there all my life.
I never knew why this had to be but it doesn't matter now, it's not about me, it's about my younger half brother and sister.
I am the past they are the present and future.
It's the present and the future, how do you think it's going to affect their lives?
Why do I feel like the useless big half sister?
No one knows anyone, it's all a mystery. 2008
WHY CAN'T WE?
I'm speaking for the rights of people with disabilities.
If we haven't got those rights we should have them.
We should be treated equally to non - disabled people.
Some people have these rights others don't.
We know it can never be a perfect world but it can be an equal work.
How many of us live a lone?
How many of us still live with our families?
How many of us have families of our own?
How many of us work?
How many of us don't work?
How many of us are on benefit trap?
How many of us are in education?
How many of us live like non - disabled people but with the right support?
We all understand funding can be a problem but the government should spend the money on the right things for people's rights.
I've been asking these questions all my life but never really got any real answers. 2008
MIND BLINDNESS.
In our minds, we can spend our lives feeling angry with ourselves.
Some people think we want to hurt their feelings because of what we say, what we may not say, what we do and what we may not do but we don't.
It's hard for people to understand us unless they have Autism themselves.
Don't get us wrong not everything is done by accident; we all have faults like everyone.
We make mistakes and regret things like everyone else.
Autism isn't an excuse for anything, Autism is our disability, Mind Blindness and Unawareness is how it affects our lives.
Autism can affect friendships, relationships, even family relationships and perhaps the whole world around us. 2008
FEELING GUILTY.
Autism can make us feel guilty.
It's too easy to be unaware of what we do and don't say.
It's too easy to be unaware of what we do and don't do.
What's planned in your mind comes out wrong or and even the wrong way round.
These things come across to people as not good but aren’t planned in your mind.
It's not that you don't know right from wrong, what's planned to be one thing is seen as another from most people's point a view. In a sense it's like writing an essay.
Nobody can be blamed for misunderstanding us but we can't be blamed for having Autism.
That doesn't mean we want to be the centre of attention, we just want to be accepted in society the same as everyone.
We just want to be equal to everyone at the end of the day. 2008
A NEW WORLD FOR PEOPLE WITH DISABILITIES.
Think about the amount of books we have tried to read but the print is too hazy, small or and the stories are hard to understand.
Words jump off the page and your eyes start to stain.
We don't mean to make life hard but we have missed out on a lot of stories that we didn't understand.
We would like to make these stories more clear to understand like easy words and easy pictures for the next generation of people with disabilities.
Let's support people with disabilities to have equal lives to everyone!
Let's opens new doors! 2008
EASY WORLD FOR PEOPLE WITH DISABILITIES.
I love poetry like music, some poems I like others I don't.
It's like everything in life really.
One thing though, not a lot of poetry is written about people with disabilities, why is that?
Can't we communicate in your way of thinking?
Let's have a bit of fun!
Easy pictures.
Easy words.
Let's play around with coloured paper! 2008
THE HOMELESS YOUNGEST MINDS.
Nobody in my family loves me.
I know I could have been very naughty, but there is no need for my family to kick me out on the streets.
I am very frightened to go back home, but I know my family don't want me.
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