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Revealed My poems
By Sara Jane Gorman
Interduction to all types of poetry
Introduction
My name is Sara Jane Gorman, disabilities,
mental health, and other problems from birth.
I have been writing since I was twenty –
three years old and now nearly fifty - four but not much luck with publishing due to my disabilities.
I have been writing poetry since I was twenty –
seven even though I wrote my first poem when I was twenty –
three otherwise I wrote a bit on my autobiography
and a few stories that are not successful.
I started writing to help me through
recovering from and having treatment for
cancer of the throat at the age of 23
and the poetry started through having a
mental break down over a bad relationship
break up at a time when I was 27, that I am well over now.
Dear Readers
Note from the poet.
I have spent about 13 years writing poetry.
Here are the poems I have written over the years.
Some things I find hard to say in voice to the outside world.
Sometimes it's hard to put down on what's going through
one's mind. I do my best to say what I mean, if you know what I mean.
Like us all there has been times than I have found life hard.
My mind is not always meant to be like it should.
With me having a writer's block there are also times
that I can say too much.
We all have good and bad times in life so
this my time to explain the good and bad times I have.
I have also explained the different feelings
I have had in my life towards different
people I know and I have explained
their feelings towards me.
Like many of us there has been different stages
of my life that have changed but somethings
have come back again,
gone again and so on.When I started writing I
thought a lot of my feelings would stay the
same in different things in my life but how
wrong was I? That's the way life goes.
S.J Gorman 1996 to 2009
HOW I STARTED WRITING.
I started writing in 1993, when I was twenty -
three to twenty - four yrs old.
I was recovering from cancer of the throat.
I was staying at my Grandmother's house.
I was watching the 10.00pm news.
They were talking about the council homes closing down.
I thought to myself,
where are disabled and old people going to go?
It worried me a lot.
I was messing around with my paper and
pen thinking about what to write.
I just made of messy notes but I've forgotten
what I wrote.
Suddenly I started thinking about
Charles Dickens who wrote about children
who were Orphans, which started to give me ideas.
The subjects I have always feel strongly about
are animals and human beings in need,
I always feel even more strongly about people
with learning disabilities.
With having communication problem,
I found it hard to explain and express my self.
My Mother encouraged me to start writing my autobiography,
which still isn't finished today.
I have just gone back and to because I have had
so many other things to do.
Writing has helped me to be understood
but than I used but I still have a long way to go.
WRITING MY LIFE STORY.
So many months after I started writing,
I made a start on writing my autobiography along with a few short stories that I didn't think they were good.
I called my autobiography Introducing
Myself. It needs it checking over and proof reading.
I'm sorry to say, it needs a lot of proof reading because of the lack of support I have had with my dyslexia.
The thought of having it published would
be great but I need loads of support to get it right.
By me writing about my experiences
of having a disability in my autobiography, hopefully
I will raise money and awareness to improve
the lives of people with disabilities and
I hope that support will get better in the future.
I would also like to introduce myself to my readers,
I don't like leaving my readers in the dark about
what I'm writing about. Sometimes I may bring
a twist in the tale in some stories for readers
to make their minds what happens need,
which hopefully can help other writers.
I'm interested in writing about all difference
kinds of subjects really as well as around
learning disability awareness.
ABOUT MY POEMS.
You may wonder why I write about love a lot in my poetry.
I started writing poetry in 1997 at the age of 27 nearly 28.
My relationship had broken up with
Anthony very badly at that time.
Not every poem is only about Anthony,
there are poems about many other friendships
and relationships too, other topics.
( The good and the bad times.)
A LITTLE MORE ABOUT MY PAST EXPERIENCE
In the past I have had a poem published
in each of about eleven books. Lost Love 1998,
I Love You, Do you Love Me? 1998,
The Homeless Youngest's Mind 1999,
Crying Out For Love, 2000,
I Love My Man and He Loves me 2000,
There Are So Many Lonely People 1998,
This Is A Real World Not A Dream World 1999,
Good Friendship 2000,
Guilty And Hiding Away From The Truth 2000,
My Longest True Love 1999
and My Life Without You 2002.
I did work experience at Compton Hospice
Charity shop near where I live in Wolverhampton.
I wrote a small report in their newsletter.
The report was called WRITE IDEA FOR SARA,
which I wrote October 1995 when I was 26 years of age.
In the mid 1990s I wrote a Newsletters for a
disability social club called
' The Happy Society, which I enjoyed.'
The Happy Society didn't turn
out as happy as it sounds.
I don't know if it's still going
but the guy who ran it charged
us too much money, so at least I left
I don't know about the rest.
I have also passed four
exams in Creative writing,
Creative communication
Level one, Away
with Words Entry Level 3,
Level one and Level 2.
One day I was walking along
Bliston college library,
looking at poetry books
without planning to.
Suddenly I found myself
reading John Keats poems,
his work was connected with
what I was going through at the time.
I studied his worked and wrote my own poems,
which helped me learn how to come to terms
with my break down over my relationship at that time.
When I think about it now I shouldn't have
taken it as hard
as I did but If I didn't, I question
would I have written poetry?
To be truthful, I don't know.
I do write about other things but I sent a lot
of work off to publishers, they chose my love poems.
The publishers I used was Poetry Now.
They wanted me to write about people
homeless at Christmas,
so i wrote The Youngest Mind,
which isn't not about me, it's about
what could be going through the minds of
homeless people not just at Christmas but all year round.
These poems haven't just been written.
my last poem was published in 2002
and first was published 1998.
I haven't given up poetry, I just haven't
had luck with publishing since my first
publishers charged too much.
The purpose for of this document is due to
concerns of mental health and suicide
since the Covid 19 and cost of living
crisis people are and have been facing.
Before getting to the point let’s look into
what is mental heath and what is suicide.
I am writing all types of poems including
on my experience on mental health during in
lockdown before and after.
I have read on the bcc news website that
many people in the Uk have been calling
up places for mental health support and only
getting answer phone, it takes ages or
not all to get a reply here’s why is,
high it’s very concerning.
Search engine in mental health NHS Crisis
lines failingHelpGuide.org
How we feel and is not easy always for us to
talk about, depending on us, what it is eternity,
more reasons or no reasons etc.
not everyone opens up and no one is forced to,
some people say sooner than others, others not at all.
The worse thing is forcing people to talk.
However’ mental health well mental illness
can be serious if not being supported or and treated.
It is not always the case for everyone and everything,
risk may or may not happen depending on the situation,
person and even more.
What is the difference between
mental health and mental illness?
On the whole we should all be aware
there is a difference between mental
health and mental illness.
Where mostly mental health is good
mental health where you are thinking, feeling,
reacting, behaving, etc mostly positive.
Whereas mental illness is completely the opposite meaning
negative, but on both ways is not always the case with
everyone depending on the person, situations they are facing,
other reasons or no reason at all.
Not everyone is down to mental illness or even
mental health even but it is a big part how
a lot of us if not all of us are.
It is well worth tapping in your search
engine all types of mental illnesses where is
such mental illnesses as anxiety, depression and more,
which may help you understand how
most people can be affected.
Another thing to search engine treatment
and support for mental illnesses such as medication,
therapy etc.
Just to remember though not
everything helps everyone etc.
Also everyone find it easy to to talk
their mental health etc, in some people’s
cases it maybe cause of people’s reactions,
they may not want to tell strangers eve if they are
counselors etc or and others may not want to
family, friends etc meaning those they do knows.
There could be many other reasons too etc.
Although, there is a lot more awareness than
there was there is never enough.
Not everyone talk and no is forced or felt shamed
not talk but all same nothing likely to sorted if
nothing is said, even nothing completely promised
if said but it is at least aware.
How people seem how they feel maybe the
opposite but not the case everyone again
depending on the person, situation and
maybe or and even nothing at all, which may vary.
Most people tend to think those of us who mental
illness that we are negative all the time,
which is not true, not with most of us anyway.
A smile, laugh etc is neither a lie or fake, it is a
concern of your reaction or and whoever is
communicating,
maybe a way of the person trying to cope,
manage etc.
Again not the case for everyone.
For example; a lot famous people such as comics,
like say Tony Hancock who made people laugh
because he showed his happy side was shown to
us but behind closed doors he was feeling opposite
in whatever way, whatever reason or no reason,
which in the case of fame could be such things as
press stress but maybe not or both such say maybe
family stress but we should not judge what we don’t know,
even the mental illness it’s self, it is not a laugh or joke,
some how he took his own life.
Not saying it was the case in Tony Hancock’s case
but no one should have fear being understood
by others not that everyone misunderstands.https://sararevealed.blogspot.com/
Writer's block.
If you want to do a piece of writing and your stuck for
ideas what to write, here are ideas that may or may not interested you.
May be you would like to write about a place or a town
that means something to you.
architecture, traffic, gardens and the atmosphere.
The neighborhood and local characters that make the atmosphere.
A building in the town that interests you for whatever reasons.
It could be an old picture house, town hall, church or shop.
Smells, colors and noises.
It may be the country side, landscape, hills wood and etc.
Seaside place you like noises, smells and etc.
It can be set at any time and at place anywhere.
( past present or even something you may picture for the future.)
From say millions of years ago to what's happened just this minute.
I moved back to Wolverhampton from Shorpshine
and Wales 17 yrs ago.
I was on an adult training scheme which was based
in Low hill, Fall ens park Wolverhampton.
To find the place was a big maze going through 1st
Avenue, 2nd Avenue and etc.
The strange thing was I just started writing yet
without even hearing about the poets such as Keats,
Wordsworth and all them there were roads in Fall
ens park named after them.
In 1997, I had a very bad relationship break up just as a
lot of us do.
I was a student at the time studying creative
writing and English. During lunch break after a
lot of study in the library.
I started looking at the poetry books
without thinking about it.
I picked John Keats I didn't put down
until the end it inspired me that much.
He wasn't going through anything much
to what I was going through at the time.
Before I read his poems, I thought I was the
only one going through pain.
When I finished reading I found myself
having to write, I felt as if so many things
that were going through my head, I hadn't said.
When I started writing little did I realize
my work would turn into poet, this was when
I started to feel as if things were coming
off my mind and that I was slowly on
the mend moving on from my failed relationship.
Due to how my disability used I was slowly
learning managed to take information in.
I knew it connected with what I was going
through but it was one of early stages of my writing career.
I had a poem written in each of 11 books
by a publishers called Poetry Now but my
Mother thought they had ribbed me off.
I haven't had any luck with publishing since
then due to a lack of support.
The poems that I
did have published on are on this website but
I started this website in 2007 so it will mean you
looking through three years of work I have done on here.
Here are some possible topics you may
be interested in case you want to write today
, any time or day. You can write about yesterday's
topic if you want, you don't have to follow this in
order if you don't want. You don't have to go along
with what I say at all, it's there in case it helps you.
You don't even have to join the writer's group if don't want.
May be you may want to write about who
and or what inspired you to write.
Creating your own superhero, someone
who brings out the good.
Someone who saves yours or Someones live.
It can be fiction or non - fiction, true is non -
fiction not true is fiction for those who don't know that.
Write a lonely hearts report.
Write something about learning disability,
other races and it's history.
At the moment I am reading the diary of Anne Frank.
She would have been two years older than my Grandmother.
They were both children in world war 2.
The war broke out when my Nan was eight,
she told me about it when I was eight,
which I didn't understand at first due to my disability.
As much as I understood that the men died in
the war and that we wouldn't have been born if it
wouldn't have been for them.
This is the reason why people wear poppies.
Nan put a poppy on my coat and said.
" This isn't just a flower but a flower of memory."
Wars are hard times for everyone but
If Nan had it as bad as Anne Flank,
the rest of my family and myself
wouldn't be here today.
When I read Anne Flank's diary I think of my
Nan, as if she was writing a diary because
I remember her telling me what growing
in the war was like. I don't think Nan had time
to keep a diary when she had to look after
her seven brothers and sisters while my
great Grandparents were working.
My Nan was the eldest of eight.
Saying that my Nan loved her reading, she'd knit
, watch telly, do the crossword,
keep an eye on us the Grandchildren
at the same time. I thought I could get away
with been naughty, little did I know that Nan
had eyes at the back of her head.
Today we have computers,
Mobile phones, washing machines,
inside toilets and etc.
There was none of that back then.
We moan about today's cutback but
for eg; having to go to toilet outside must have been worse.
As for the cutbacks,
I think we have been a bit too greedy with too much IT,
which they didn't have.
For eg; it's easy access for us today get help
with our sums where as one time we used to have to use our brains.
It's now becoming a lazy world,
we don't know how lucky we are in someways
but in another ways we are unlucky because a
lot of the hard times made us stronger
people as grow ups strong to
life in a lot of ways.
For eg; learning to understand
right from wrong.
War is a nasty thing, we are all human
at the end of day.
People understand we can't have
it all easy otherwise wouldn't be strong but race
make us all different people.
If we were all the same it would a boring
world.Some things people are born to be,
other things people choose to be,
let's not hold these things against them and
give them the same rights as everyone in the world.
Most people may need support to have their choices,
for eg; people with learning disabilities,
where there's a will there's a way
without taking away peoples' chooses away.
Everyone should have equal rights.
Every person is a human beings,
the likes of Hitler shouldn't have
taken people's rights and lives away from them.
May be you could write a bit of history on
any topic you want to write about.
It may be worth looking into your
family history if that cornets with
what your writing about, your choice.
What I have learned from this long
week at Penn Hall school is how to
please children when they are reading stories.
Every child had to create their superhero and story,
I just had to put it into the story.
I wasn't only adult with disabilities who worked with the children,
there adults with all kinds of creative abilities who interested
the children to their talents too.
It was a great experience for me,
I hope it was a great experience for the children.
I found Monday morning,
may be it was the Monday morning blues with the teenage six form.
I had to go through the hows, wheres,
whats, whys and etc to help them
create their superhero stories in an easy way as possible,
we got there in the end,
which was no more hard than the other artists had to go through.
They didn't seem to understand the
differences between real life and protein,
I also told them that fiction can be based on truth.
It's all confusing in different ways but a lot of
us were taught like weren't we?
The main thing was they tried their best and did really well,
I can really enjoy it and I hope they did.
Having had learning disabilities
myself I can relate to how my understanding
was at that age it wasn't that much different to there's.
Even though I'm older now than
I wasn't then I haven't forgotten
if even thought I have bettered myself over the years,
well I hope I have anyway.
What we all have learned in life that not all of us can get on,
some situations you may come across in work, school,
college and etc.
The hardest part was getting to see that in class or work you don't show what's outside.
For eg; if one child couldn't get along
with the other they thought they could show that in their work.
Their teacher even said they find it hard
to understand team work and it's not fare
on the others who are working with
them when there's an unhappy atmosphere.
As I have said On this website is that I
have been writing since I was 23 yrs of age, now 54.
. The great thing was I started to learn to take in what I
was reading so I was slowing learning to teach
myself to pick up something to read a bit more.
Before hand when I tried to read anything the
print was too hazy for me or
I read it but then found it hard to take it in before
I put down whatever I was reading.
I understand why I haven't had a
great of luck with publishing because
I haven't known how to please my reader,
it's very hard when you don't see your
readers looking at your work.
Having Said that even most experience
people in talents can't always please
their publishers or whoever brings
them out to be known in this world or not in the case may be.
The real shame is when no one
discovers how talented someone is until they die.
It's a real shame when someone doesn't
see the stand out of the hard work they have done.
If there's anyone does agrees with
what I say may be you will agree that a
writer's group may be a great to find out
what your readers like and don't like.
Not everyone whose a reader is a
writer so may be there should be a
reader's group for non writers as well as
writers to find out what the non writers
like as well as writers like and
dislike from their writers.
Sorry if I have confused things there.
One of the great things about the Internet
is you can do you reply to someones work or
you can reply to each others' work.
This could be a great way of trying to
helping one another or help a writers to
know what their readers like to read.
Reading to a point that you have big
interest in reading, taking in what you read to
get your ideas to write. As long as you understand
that your can't copy of someones work.
It helps when Your stuck on ideas or and
on topic to write about,
if their work interests you.
You can be inspired by someone
who has the same talent as you,
normally someone who writes
about the same topic as you.
You can inspire new people work and
they can even inspire even if your talent
has been going on longer than theirs,
this where I think talent is a wonderful thing
and getting together as a group in your work is
a great way of getting know one another.
Some people learn quicker than others for eg;
someone who hasn't learned about talent
not as long as you may have learned something
very quickly what you didn't and
should have known a long time ago.
Never feel ashamed about that because
different teachers have different
teaching skills and they know about at
different times and some things one never knows.
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