THIS IS THE REAL WORLD, NOT A DREAM WORLD.
In fairytale stories they say you have to kiss a good many ugly frogs to find your handsome Prince.
In my case I believe I have kissed handsome princes who have turned into ugly frogs.
Believe me, believe me not, I think my days of kissing handsome princes have gone.
Because I fear every handsome prince I kiss will turn into an ugly frog.
All the lovely things I used to dream, I thought would come true.
Now I am unhappy that everything I ever wanted hasn't happened to me and no chance will it be.
I blame myself; I fell in love far too young.
Little did I know everything was going to turn out wrong?
Now I can't love at all, because I am frightened of getting hurt again.
A male and female friendship forever more.
I must keep away from those ugly frogs. 1997 – 2000
GOOD FRIENDSHIP.
This may be only friendly love, but to me it is good enough.
I don't think you need a boyfriend and girlfriend to love.
Male and female can still share a friendship to love.
My friendship will be here with you for however long you want me to be close to you.
I will never go away from you, unless you want me to.
I know we have been through the same thing, I know what you are going through.
Trying to move on from the people you love or loved is very hard to do, but somehow we must get on with our lives and get through.
We must try and see a future for ourselves the best way we can, but believe me I do understand that is very hard to do but all the same we must get through. 1997 – 2000
LOST LOVE.
There's nothing you can do when you lose the person you love.
All you can do is learn to move on and meet a new love.
When long love is lost it's hard to move on.
No matter how hard it is you must move on.
When short love can come before you look.
It is so important to be loved.
Love can't be made, unless you make it.
When love goes down the drain, it can't always be saved.
For goodness sake you must be brave enough to love again.
Love can cause you so much anger, hurt and pain.
Sometimes it's hard to love again.
Sometimes it's hard to live without love and be lonely.
Without love in many ways, life isn't the same. 1997 – 2000
I LOVE MY MAN AND HE LOVES ME.
I love my man he loves me.
I care such a lot about him and he cares such a lot about me.
Ups and downs are to come that is part of life to be.
If it's to be it will be, if it's not to be it won't be.
I hope and pray it will be.
Upsets are sure to happen, but I hope between us we will do our very best to put whatever problem we have right.
He isn't just my lover; he is also my best friend out of all males.
I'm sure and hope that he feels the same way as I do about him.
I hope and pray that we, what future we have to be, bring us love, relationship and friendship. 1997 – 2000
CRYING OUT FOR LOVE.
I must move on again.
Please give me any reason why I shouldn't love someone and someone should love me?
Why do I feel as if my days of love and romance have gone for me?
Is there something wrong with me?
How can I share love when no one is there to share love with?
I can't give love to someone when he isn't there to have love from me.
Whoever you may be, if you're faithful, kind and good looking please come to me?
I don't mind having serious or play full love, as long as someone can give me some kind of love, I will be happy to play or stay in whatever way.
Just any kind of passion that comes my way.
I don't mind playing the field or having forever loved. 1997 – 2000
MY LONGEST TRUE LOVE.
My true love once had a heart that gave me so much love.
I had this heart and I really truly enjoyed his love.
Now he doesn't have a heart anymore, because he isn't now my love.
He's now with someone forever and for good.
He's not my true love anymore, but he was my first serious love.
That I will never, ever forget.
I don't think he will find another love like me again.
I don't think I will find another love like him again. 1997 – 2000
DRAGON.
Watch your ps and qs when you are talking to the dragon.
She may well blow smoke at you and burn you if you get on the wrong side of her, she can have the Irish dragon inside her.
Don't be put off by her; she has a nice side too. 1997 – 2000
PEOPLE.
We are all human beings.
We all have different nationalities.
Most people have white skin.
Some people have black skin.
Other people have brown skin.
Some people believe in god others don't.
Some people go to church others don't.
Why don't we just accept each other for the way we all are?
Life is hard enough without making it worse.
Some people have chosen to be who they are and what them; others don't have any choose at all.
Just because one person is black and the other person is white, it doesn't mean they are not alright.
I understand that not everyone gets on but you can't take away the way they are or their equal rights.
You have the right to know what people say and think about you but
keep your thoughts to yourself, just walk away!
Why the risk had been locked away from the world, it's not worth it for anyone.
No need to hurt or kill.
Why take your anger out on people, who are harmless to you, be strong.
Stick to your own thoughts in life: let others stick to theirs. 2003
PEACE AND LOVE.
We all have to go by the rules of the law.
We are all prisoners of war in our own counties wherever we are from.
We are always dreaming of a peaceful and lovable world.
Not a greedy or hateful world.
Why do we hurt and kill one another?
Why can't we respect one another for being human beings?
Why can't we keep away from one another if don't like one another?
Why waist our lives behind bars when there are so many good things to see and look forward to?
No world needs to be perfect but why not give peaces and love rather than war? 2003
GUILTY AND HIDING FROM THE TRUTH.
Going quiet on people when they talk.
Never caring about people's feelings.
Lying to hide away from the truth, because the truth hurts one.
One is shamed, one is in the wrong.
For one to tell one, but to get someone else to tell one. 1997 – 2000
I LOVE YOU, DO YOU LOVE ME TOO?
Your hair is blonde, so soft and thick.
Many times I have reached out for your love to tell you.
" Darling I love you so true."
The problem is that you are not with me a lot to say.
" I love you so true too.
Now I have to wait until I see you again.
I love you so true.
I hope and pray to god that you love me to so true too, but I think or know you do.
Three little words saying I love you can make you feel so special.
So can those three little letters.
Poetry is not where I can spell those three little or big words. 1997 – 2000
A man I thought I loved and lost.
There was once a lad I thought I had.
He was so charming at the time I thought he was the man.
He was such a bad lad, I must have been mad.
In the end he made me so sad.
When he was not in my life anymore I was gland.
He was such a Jack the lad, he went after so many girls with so many curls.
He put his untrue charm that didn't get him very far.
He lied to me; he told me he had a flash car that also didn't get him very far.
His name was Preen, who pretended to been keen.
He wasn't keen, he was mean.
He's a loser, who doesn't give a dam about any woman only having their money off them.
He was a con man and woman beater, user and abuser.
We talk about the man, gentleman and mouse, Preen wasn't either of them Preen was an evil rat!
He would sleep with girls, frightened them and give them fear of other men.
He would talk about their private life; he would break other relationships with a knife.
He gave me so much fear for many years in the relationship I had after, I am only just starting to trust now.
I was on my own for six mouths after me and Preen finished, I never thought I'd love again.
I regret ever knowing him let a lone going with him.
My next lover was alright but even though I loved him I had a job to trust him which drove him to another woman in the end.
I said to myself for a long time to be friends with someone and see how it goes.
I want someone who will get me over my fright and fear after all those years.
Did you get me through this dear?
No you didn't I got over it myself somehow.
I want someone who understands my problems, someone who has been there himself.
Now I have long come terms with what Steven Preen put me through but it took good many years to get over that.
He once loved me no he didn't it was a silly nightmare of mine.
I wanted someone who cared about me and who could help me come out of my problems.
My partner after Steven coped with it for a while then he could not stand anymore and then he came back to then now it's clashed for good. Written 1997 - 2009.
Marriage.
Marriage should full of love and support.
Nine out of ten marriages end in divorce.
Marriage should be full of happiness and joy.
Marriages should be full of laughs not cry.
Marriages should be full of a girl and a boy.
We must accept love and marriage is not a bed of roses.
If it was perfect it would be boring.
Like all walks of life, marriage is either a success or it is not. Written 1997
I put my head in the sand.
No one seems to agree with my way of thinking when it comes to love so now my head is in the sand and my thoughts are kept to myself.
My head is in between hands I may not make the right choices in my life.
There seems to be no where forward than feeling as if I am sitting inside a train as it's driving through a dark tunnel that has not got to the light, it seems to go on forever.
There must be an end a dark tunnel somewhere.
Turn on the light please or is there no light?
I am scared of the present and the future.
I feel very lonely and very sad.
A lot of frights and fears are inside my mind.
Every time I tell people my thoughts it does not pleases them but it's pleases me, what pleases them does not please me, it's just time to wait and see or life is the end for me.
I understand people are only protecting me from getting hurt but my feelings have control over me, can't they see?
How can I love without being blind?
I may as well do what I want and let people talk all they like.
One thing I feel like is living my life in sin, no man does not seem to be right for me and I do not seem to be right for them. Written 1997.
I love you dear. (That’s what they all say.)
I love you dear.
You’re lying to me dear,
I am not like the rest of the men dear, and you don't have a thing to fear.
Oh no you can't be true to me dear; I am not that lucky every man hates me.
Don't be silly dear, you fear too much dear.
I love you dear, I don't hate you dear. Written 1997
The last time I saw the man I love.
Whether he still loves and cares about me I don't know.
Most of all I know he does not want to talk to me.
He's mind seems very twisted to me.
Surly he can't have got over me just like that.
The last time I saw the man I love he seemed so confused.
He seemed so full of guilt and hurtful pain.
He has a new love, why isn't he happy at all?
Why does he seem unhappy than what I do?
There must be many men out there as true as he used to be.
Where are these men to be?
Why can't I find the love I want for me? Autumn to winter 1997
My soft mind.
I can't believe that I believed a dream to be true.
It now seems like and a nightmare but it's the truth.
How silly I was thinking you loved me but you did not.
The fact you have gone out of my life it hurts because I still love you.
It's true that I knew you but a silly dream that you loved me.
I feelings are far too strong to forget the memories.
I find it hard to believe that I thought you were a gentleman. Written 1997.
The love he found made him blind.
The man I loved who I thought was a gentleman I loved him.
I must have been dreaming because I don't think he loved me.
He is in love with someone else now but it all must be his head, he is so blind to her like I was to him.
He could do better than her but she does not have to be me, she needs to be someone who does not make him blind to the rest of the world.
May be he could meet better than me.
May be I'd be blind to the sunshine in my eyes. 1997
Does my new love still want me?
I wrote a letter, does it make things worse or better?
What would he do if I turned up on his door step?
Will he love me more or less? End of 1997.
Is my love blind?
When I have fallen in love I have always been blind.
Being blind is always at the back of my mind.
I feel love sick yet I could be blind.
There so many emotions going through my possible blind mind.
Am I blind enough to not know that my love may die?
I hope that my love will stay alive.
I hope that he will always be mine.
No matter many years I have loved I have always been blind. Written end of 1997.
I hold my pen to write romantic poetry to you.
You do not love me anymore; this was why I had to walked out your door.
Falling in love with someone new is very hard to do after having been in love with you so long.
If ever can fall in love with someone new I'd still spend the rest of my life writing romantic poetry about you whether come back to me or not.
It's hard to believe that I will love anyone more than I loved but I still do.
My voice of love if we will ever be lovers again will speak romantic words to you.
All I am saying is those romantic words from me to you; my hand is holding the pen to write these romantic words to you.
The pen is giving the paper the romantic touch to you, the words just flow off my pen.
You have broken my heart and my mind is unable to think about nothing but you.
Why do I love you so much as you hurt me so much?
Yes I know what you said, “Sara loves someone else, and you can do better than me."
Yes you’re right what you said but the way you hurt me, my feelings won't let me.
May be I will become stronger one day you will see. Written late 1996 to mid 1997.
Love.
Love can be bitter, love can be sweet, and love is a feeling of one or the other.
Love can change in many ways day after day.
Love can be blind, love can be unkind.
Love can be a memory to remember but sometimes love will never be the same again.
When history love has gone it is time to move although some lovers love again.
Make the most of happiness while it is still here it may not last forever.
Before you know it happiness goes quicker than what you think but it could stay long than what you think or forever.
Nothing always happens the way you want so make the best of what you have got that you do enjoy.
Dreams can be wishful thinking.
Do be thy brave let's love again not to be left out of love in any way.
When I lost my longest love, my heart was lying broken and still. 1997 - 1998
I am so deeply in love with you.
One love is like a wild rose.
You keep me warm when the wind blows cold.
There is a happy song in my heart; my heart is full of love for you.
I am a lassie who loves her dear laddie.
I hope that you will always be faithful to me my dear laddie.
I am so deeply in love with you, it feels so true.
I can not believe that I have had so many loves that have been untrue; I hope you are not like them.
I will always love you my dear.
I will love you forever until the day I die.
When we have both died our love is close together in heaven just the same as we are alive.
I want to be with you by the deep blue sea, until the sea turns gray and dry.
As love goes on see the sunshine on the deep blue sea.
As we hold hands on the yellow happy sand, I will make you feel more than a man. 1997 – 1998
The past.
The past was yesterday, it was a nightmare it did not happen.
Here is today we must be positive about what could happen today.
Yesterday was a bad day we were not thinking straight or should we were dreaming that it was a bad day, let's put it behind!
We must learn to think of good things not bad.
Think of the bad things as nightmares.
We must accept the bad but bring in the good.
Dream happy thoughts but understand that life is not all good.
Some days will be good other days will be bad.
Not everyday can be the same.
Not everyday can go to one's way.
If one waits long enough happiness may well be on its way.
Happiness comes along that you may not have thought of wanting it could make you happy all the same. 21.8.1999
My life without you.
I think about you when I am in my flat.
I go out at night alone wishing you were with me.
I feel so happy to hear your voice on the telephone.
When I think about you I try not to cry, I don't cry.
I think, wait looking forward to seeing you again, we enjoy our time together.
It may well be a long time until we meet again but however long I will wait.
It comes to those who wait. 5.8.2000
Forget the past.
I must learn from my mistakes that I have made in the past and forget.
I must make the most of my life as I hope I am getting wiser as I get older.
I won't be forever living but forever dead, time goes so fast.
It's believed that heaven is a difference world but that's never known.
Whether heaven is better or worse than earth we may or may not find out.
We can't say whether or not that we will come back to earth as animals.
It's hard to know whether to believe in heaven and hell or not.
My advice is to live life to the full in case where ever we go in our next is not better than earth.
It hard to believe whether or not there is any life after death.
Once we have gone we may have gone, it's hard to believe whether we are ghosts or not, we may never to be seen again.
Look forward to nice things in the future.
Forget bad things in the past but remember the good things.
Accept the bad but enjoy the good, you only live once.
You can not say for sure seeing is believing, you will never know whether you are going to see or not until your final passing.
You will also never know whether you are going to tell anyone until you get there. 5.8.2000
Love verse three.
In my dreams and in truth we have kissed each others' lips.
Now it's over bet ween us we only kiss in dreams.
In my dreams you have held me just like you used to do in your loving arms.
The one thing that's missing is the feeling of your touch.
I also miss your body close to mine.
I think about you everyday in every way.
I dream about you every night until the morning light.
When I wake up in the morning light, I notice that you are not by my side.
This is disappointing for me but such as life.
I love you with all my heart even if you will never love me again.
Now I have learned there is no matching love for me but darling in my eyes you were the best lover I ever had yet.
Before I lost you I never thought I am losing you, you will be missed by me for a long time if not forever.
Please accept that I will always miss you then I will accept that I have lost your love.
I love and miss you company very much.
You always put the bright sides into my life.
You always bought me so much happiness that I miss so much.
I have a very unhappy feeling I will never ever have your love back.
I will never ever be able to feel the touch of your tender body and kiss of your lips.
In my dreams, mind and memory you are still mine until the day I die.
Love will always be in my heart for you if you want me too.
My heart is pumping with love for you.
No matter how many loves I have after you my feelings won't be as strong for them as they are for you.
The way you feel about me is unknown to me but I will accept my life and my future to come. 21.2.2000
Two lovers come together.
When two lovers come together they live in heaven.
In heaven love lasts forever through good and bad weather.
Heaven is such a fairly tale world that's hard whether to believe or not.
Earth is the real world of facing the truth whether the truth is good or bad news for us.
There's a lot happiness and sadness for every girl, woman, boy and man. 1997 – 2000
A RYMINE ESPECIALLY FOR YOU.
The first night I saw you my mind was thinking I like you before I even spoken to you.
I am a girl that likes you for you.
I knew like me, you had been through some old moo.
How I knew I just knew
there’s only me for you, I mean it too true.
Without your advice on the things I have been through I would have put myself through even more moo boo boo.
So I hope there silly words that make no sense at all will at least thymine on paper as well as inside my mind.
Thank you for helping me with my old moo, I will do the same you if you want me too.
As your name is Andy pandy I can be your Loopy Loo.
With the state of my mind I am loopy.
If you have another Loopy Loo, sorry to bother you boo boo to me too.
I would not dream of hurting you.
I will write a ton of pages to get what I am saying down on paper right for you.
I know I have a disability I am just be slow which does seem to be good to a lot people. Written 1993
We were two lovers together.
We were two lovers to together who went everywhere together.
We were together so long on and off.
Our love for one another was so strong.
Our love failed yet very little went wrong.
We may not forgive one another as lovers but we may as friends.
We hurt one another bad.
Memory of my young love in my head the happiness, sadness and sorrow.
How on earth will I face to tomorrow because the pain will still be there?
I never want hurt a man again; I must have driven him away to love another woman.
It takes a lot of bottle for me to carry living on this earth.
I can't love again, there's no way forward.
The future scars me.
There will never be another man for me.
He is not all to blame I must have done something wrong for him to go another woman.
May be I am better off not loving again in case I drive them to other. Written 1996 to 1997.
I will find a way to move on.
I will never move on as long as I stay with you.
Even though our relationship may have ended in friendship not hate but carrying on seeing one another like we have been is getting us nowhere.
I know you have nowhere to move on to but that's just your own fault.
I have been there every step of the way for you for 15 yrs now, how mad am I?
You have never seemed to know what you wanted, how mad have I been to wasting my time on you?
Now I don't have anymore time to waste on a man who does not love me anymore, perhaps you never did.
Nothing seems to be changing between us but yes I'm changing I'm moving on to another life but I don't know where.
I hope the next man in my life will know what he wants and love me for me.
After having seen you for 15yrs, it will be hard and strange being without you but I will get through.
What's the point staying with you as it seems things are not moving forward for any of us?
You never seem to believe in yourself, you say you always fail when it comes to relationships, why have I wasted 15 yrs with a person who does not believe in himself?
If you carry on saying negative things about yourself, you will go down with the negative things you do say about yourself.
You thought I was going to go down with you, how wrong are you? 2009
Walking into a dark hole.
I walked through the dark tunnel; it was like a dark hole.
I was holding my torch; it was a very dusty atmosphere.
I couldn't hardy breathe, there was hardy any air.
I walked around, I don't I could see a thing even with the torch.
I fell over tins, bottles and goodness knows what else.
Somehow I managed to get hold of a rug, then put over me and slept in a load of dirt and dust from the mines.
When I woke up an I saw a man asleep, his face was covered in cuts and goodness knows what.
I felt guilty I must have been in a deep sleep.
Some must have really beaten him.
At first he was thanking me for giving him water, and then he was in this world of heaven. 23.7.2005
I love the way!
I love the way you look at me.
I love the way you smile at me.
I love the way you laugh at me.
I love the way you listen and talk to me.
All in all, I love you in every way.
All in all, you are a very good friend to me. 15.8.1999
my dream
Walking through peace and quiet across a field on a hot summer’s day.
Every single flying and singing away.
The leaves on the trees are dark green.
Red roses in the garden are so romantic.
The company of been arm in arm with a very young gentleman I love. 26.2.2000
The writer's feelings.
Please listen to what I have to say.
I think about you every single day.
I thought you were the boy who loves me for me.
How wrong could I be?
Now I know you were my dream and nightmare.
How mad am I, your still the love of my life?
I thought I was going to become your future wife.
Sorry I regret hurting you this way but I don't regret every single day I was with you. Written in 1997.
Unknown title.
I know I did not know you.
I am not sure you are real or inside my head.
You are a person waiting to come out of me, I am not sure you are real until I built you up to put in this story.
Are you interested in me; I am talking to you inside your grave.
You are a kind character in this story; you saved disabled people's lives in the Gulf war.
You are a hero who sadly lost your own life.
I had a dream about a character like you, from there having been working on a story.
I know I am glad of that you are my character hero even if you may not be real.
When your life was taken away from you, it still took my life away too even though I did not know you.
I may well be still here but I have nothing to look forward to without you.
What difference does it make with the whole world falling to pieces anyway?
There's risk owho sadly lost your own life.
I had a dream about a character like you, from there having been working on a story.
I know I am glad of that you are my character hero even if you may not be real.
When your life was taken away from you, it still took my life away too even though I did not know you.
I may well be still here but I have nothing to look forward to without you.
What difference does it make with the whole world falling to pieces anyway?
There's risk of shooting in the world without war. 11.8.2005
I wish.
I wish I could see your grave to see if you are the person I was told you are.
Your ghost may come to life if there is any such thing.
Would it not be magic if you came alive?
I wonder what and who you could be.
Could you be an animal, object or human being?
Would you stay back with us until you are a great old man?
You could be an old man looking like a young man?
Would it really matter as long as we see you in heaven or and earth one day forever?
What happened to you, if any thing did or are you not real? 12.8.2005
Talking to the Graves.
Are you lying down in your coffin?
Is your coffin lid opening?
Is it hot or cold in your coffin or can't you feel it?
Are you reading the news paper?
What did you look like in person, have you turned to skeleton?
Am I just dreaming?
If only I knew your life story, if only I could put you into a fiction story.
You must be up there with your skeleton friends talking about heaven and earth.
I know I can't see you: may be you are able to see me.
May be you were taken away. 19.8.2005
How unkind life can be.
You should not be inside a coffin, under a grave stone.
You should be with me in the lovely sunshine.
We should in a romantic wood, just you and me.
We should be spending time together on a Sunny afternoon watching the birds sing.
You should not be in heaven; if you are I am too.
I may well be in this unhappy world but only without you.
There's hardy much happiness in the world today.
Now that I am in heaven with you, I know I will be missed by a lot of people on earth but that's just a dream.
I must be on earth because it is cold, there’s no joy of spring just cold winter weather.
Heaven from to earth too soon. 19.8.2005 -20.8.2005
I never know what I want.
I never want to stay in but there are times I don't want to go out and do myself in with how I feel at the moment.
I get so depressed but don't ask me why.
I love been around people and I need something to keep my mind busy.
Like all of us I have good and bad days.
Today there are still too many bad things said about race.
This is society let's us down.
Too much crime in the world.
It's hard to believe happiness in today's world.
There have always been wars around as it is and still is today.
This is why the world depresses me more. December 2006
In a difference world.
It would be lovely to see the angels.
It would be lovely to see the fairies.
Forget the witches may be remembering the wizards.
Become the ghost of love. December 2006
Poor times.
Washing lines.
Children dressed in rags begging for money around street condors.
Rats wondering round getting wet in the pouring rain.
People living on bread and water.
Young boys as well as men working down the mines.
Young boys down the chimney sweeps.
Now what is the world coming to with unemployment? December 2006
The days of hard times.
No homes for the poor.
Millions of people were living on the streets.
There were too many people unemployed.
People don't have any money to eat.
Millions of people's lives have lived and died through been homeless.
Children were going down chimneys sweeps to earn money.
Young men were breathing the coal mines to earn money for their wives and families.
Some things may have got better but nothing is completely right. 5.12.2001
Us
we met one another in our twenties.
We are both in our mid to late thirties now.
I know we have been together on and off.
Who would have thought that we would get back together?
Deep down I did hope but may be I am starting think it was the wrong thing to do.
One is a problem is that feeling called love.
Good, bad, wrong or right, feelings are hard to control.
I still love you now but I am sure you love me too. December 2006
You took my world away.
You left me crying every day and night.
At night I could not sleep.
When I looked through my window, sky was dull and gray without you.
My fears were that you'd never love me anymore.
I kept on hoping that you would love me again.
I was going to tell you that I forgive you for hurting me, how mad am I?
It took four years for us to get back together. December 2006
Same time and same place.
I am sitting in a pub in New Brighton on a warm September sunny day.
I look through the window and sadly see that I am not in New Brighton, I am in dirty Wolverhampton.
It seems very strange to think I went to a writer's group in July; I met the writer Jeff Phelps of ' A BOX OF TRICKS.'
So many things tend to be in common with that book and some of my Father's life.
My Dad used to live in New Brighten in the sixties; this book was written about the same place and the same time, the moods and the rockers.
Sooner my Dad left New Brighten he met my Mother in Wolverhampton where he was born himself.
There are things likes Bowling alleys in New Brighten but my parents met in Bowling alley in Wolverhampton.
Just before I was born, my parents parted, my Dad lived over South London and I lived with my Mother in Wolverhampton.
Apart from when I was just born, I did not see my Dad until I was twenty - one years old when he came back to Wolverhampton to live.
The reasons for me not seeing my Father until I was twenty - one is a very long story.
I would have loved to have spent my childhood in New Brighten with my Dad, near the seafront, fish and chips.
I had travelled round myself a bit to Wales and Shropshire for a numbers of years in my late teens and early twenties. 9.9.2009.
Every girls dream and nightmare.
It's every girl's dream and nightmare to become a bride.
Not every girl is lucky to meet a man of her kind.
Not every girl meets her prince charming the love of her life.
When becoming a man's wife it can be a story of a woman's life.
The amount of years good girls have to wait to be a gentleman's wife.
Having been a gentleman's wife it is not what we think might.
Some days can be a rather unhappy site to be a man's wife.
A wife might end up blowing into her kite.
Girls would you agree that a lot of men can be mites. Written 1997 – 2000
I love you Antonio my longest lasted laddie.
I love you Antonio my longest lasted laddie.
Why did you go off with another lassie?
You know I love you so madly and sadly.
Now I will never ever have another laddie.
You broken my heart you mean Romano.
I fell in love with you so madly, gladly and sadly Antonio.
You are such a baddie but I love you.
I must be blind not to know that you'd treat me unkind.
Don't you have any love, care understanding on your mind?
I so very much wanted to be your bride so I must get that out of my mind. Written 1996 to 1997.
When you are frightened to love but frightened of being lonely without.
You are frightened of being alone but frightened to love the days and nights seem dull.
The future never seems to come because it's hard to believe that things will get better.
You are worried about getting hurt all over again which brings sadness and pain more and more.
You can feel shame, anger, guilt and happiness can be the only word that you aren't feeling at that moment.
You know that you’re not getting any younger and the future seems dull because the present is.
Trying to think about when you were happy is hard.
I can see myself just being an old maid because I can't seem to have trust in men.
Lynn you have taken all my happiness away I hope you will be happier with Antonio than I was.
Antonio you never told me your reason for going off with Lynn, I guess I was never good enough for you.
I just need to learn how to get you out of my head and get on with my life; I should not have hung around where I was not wanted.
When a relationship has ended after such a long time it becomes a big shock.
Finding the best happiness is hard to find, it could take never or a long time.
Could you be wondering
what could become in the end. Written 1997.
Quiet.
Now it's quiet at midnight and I can write.
Millions of people were sleeping on the street as I write sitting in my home.
The wind is blowing a storm, there's nothing quiet about that when the people living on the street are trying to sleep.
I will just put anything down on paper about the storm.
I must turn on my lamb to give me the light.
I will sleep until the morning light.
As a student I will study in the day light.
To write on a winter's night is anything that comes to mind. 5.12.2001
Stacey from ' THE HAPPY SOCIETY (she was!)
Stacey was full of life and free to do what she wanted.
Stacey had so many friends and so many people to see.
Stacey shared the same birthday as me October 24th, she wrote poetry just like me and she had Autism like me.
Every year my birthday comes round I think of Stacey.
The sad thing is that I never saw any of her poems and Stacey never any of mine.
I don't know what kind of poems she wrote and she did not know what kind of poems I write and wrote in the case may.
In my eyes a poet never dies: a poet's work lives on.
Poets who live in heaven look down on you while you read their work.
Stacey is still with us even though she's in heaven.
II believe Stacey is watching me write poetry.
There will be plenty of young and new poets to be but not like Stacey, Stacey is my best friend.
Little do we know how short life is until it's gone.
Stacey had so much in common with me even though she was and still is in my eyes about twelve younger than me.
I am so much older than Stacey was; she was only her early 20s.
I am so lucky to reach my 30s.
Stacey had plenty of male and female friends; she was friends with you if you were friends with her.
Stacey made you laugh; she made the Happy Society the Happy Society.
Everyone looked forward to going to the Happy Society when Stacey was there.
Stacey was too young to go to heaven; the Happy Society became Sad Society without Stacey.
Why Stacey, why not me she was younger than me?
She went to college in London for her poetry lessons.
Stacey had such a string of boyfriends, no one could count them. 26.5.2002
Memory to remember.
One hundred English people had been killed in the America war.
As you may image that everyone was angry and upset.
There was such nasty damage to America a lovely country.
Two brothers were aboard hijacked Untied 175, which crashed in into word trade.
Some people even died pentagon. 12.9.2002
Homeless old people.
Not having anyone to talk to.
No children, no Grand children, no Great Grand children.
Far too cold, there needs to be warm.
The sun is so hot, there's nowhere to cool down.
Not knowing what tomorrow is going to bring. 29.5.2002
we are all together.
Getting together for a drink and a talk.
People finding out from one another how they got on the streets in the place.
How are they going a normal life?
How are they going to live through the world of the four seasons in one?
Living outside all weathers rain, hale and snow.
Autumn cold winds blowing leaves as they change colours
off the trees on to the ground.
Spring is meant to be warm not cold but it does not seem to be the case anymore.
There are very few leaves on the trees that are green but it happens bit by bit until the summer on sun baying hot days.
More green leaves on the trees and a lovely garden life homeless people may talk about. 9.5.2002
Memory of Eddie dog.
He was so fluffy.
He was so soft.
He was only nasty if anyone hurt us.
I and my family were the people who knew him and loved him.
He went to another home where he's well looked after, we are just too busy with our lives to look after him.
He loved to play ball.
He loved to go out for walks.
He loved to run across the park.
He hated been on a lead because he was a country and farm dog.
He would pull you around so hard and fast when he had his lead on.
He would only attack if he saw strangers.
Eddie, where have you gone?
I understand why you left us; we could not give you the happiness you wanted.
We are so sorry to let you down, I hope you are happy now.
Never forget us for the happiness we gave, we hope we gave some happiness.
We are always thinking about you, you are a lovely dog. 25.1.2002 - 12.9.2002
The America war.
It was the day I never forget.
On September 11th 2001, I think everyone thought the world was over.
It was 9.00am in UK and 3.00am in US time or the other way round.
It hit New York and Washington.
It was a dramatic explosion that hit nine people pulled out alive.
A fireman had been on the 38rd floor of one of the towers of New York. 12.9.2002
my feelings.
The war of America did not sink into me at first.
When my Father told me on the phone, I thought I was hearing things and I thought I was having a nightmare.
I put on the news on the television, watch those two towers full down turned my stomach over just watching them and I felt sick.
I found it very hard to write anything down at first.
I know there has been a bad war before but I would say that's the first one I have seen in my life time.
I could not talk; I could not stop thinking about it. 12.9.2002
what a mess.
The two towers of New York had gone through bombing planes.
They were very tall towers, I am sure those towers must have taken a long time to build.
I feel sorry for whomever it was know who worked so hard to build those towers.
There was not just 1000s of lives lost, a lot of homes had been broken and smashed.
A fireman had been rolling down the stairwell floor by floor.
The whole building collapsed.
Five other fire fighters and police officers near enough lost their lives. 12.9.2002
Sometimes hurtful things happen for the best.
Life is here to enjoy but sometimes all good things have to come to an end.
You have plenty to look forward to but happiness may take it's time to come back.
Sadly we can't get by without making mistakes and learning from them but how many of us do?
We are only human: no one is perfect.
It may take a long time while we want to get but most of us get there in the end.
At least once if not more in our lives something will happen what we don't like, that's life for everyone.
So long down the line I hope I will be right that some disappointing things happen for the best.
Most pain can turns into happiness.
I hope you will be glad of my advice one day, I hope I will be right in some things if I am not right in all.
It will be hard for us to understand that I was once your age.
I had strong feelings towards people that I have had to learn to accept what I wanted was not possible.
When you get as old as me, you will understand that disappointing things can happen for a good reason.
The reason is you may like me a lot now but you may not like me at all in ten years time, you could get fed up of looking at an old woman like me.
This could save us quite a lot of hurt and pain.
You don't need to be tied down to someone like me. 20.8.2002
Studying poetry.
I am studying to remind myself how I can interest my readers.
Sometimes I can think of a subject others times I can't.
I don't except everyone to be interested in what I write as long some people are.
I dream to be mostly a romantic poet.
I dream to write fiction and non fiction.
I dream to be a poet of all or many subjects.
I dream to write poetry of good and bad in life.
I dream to understand the minds of animals and human beings.
I dream to put down what goes through my mind from pen onto paper. 8.9.2002
I love the sun, sand and sea.
Nice to have a hot summer without the cold winter.
Not too hot just warm.
The bright yellow sun shines on the deep blue sea from the deep blue sky onto the yellow sand and the deep blue sea.
That says it all. 8.9.2002
End of war.
Loving arms round the man you love.
No weeping and crying unless your love is not alive.
Living at peace and love at last.
The future to think about and look forward to.7.9.2002
War verse.
Feeling the future in sin and alone.
Death and live is so cruel.
Blood and burns is what you saw.
It was not all sad times.
Happiness, dancing, sings and having a good time, which hides the sadness of the war away with the hurts and losses of life.
Memories of love.
Tears of the past and happiness of the future.
Survivors who are injured.
Cradle the war babies to sleep.
Feel angry about the war. 8.9.2002
Freedom at last.
Sleep in peace.
What a horror of war.
What emptiness without love.
Life goes on, it hurts, and we will get by.
Lucky for the ones who have the men they love. 7.9.2002
Yesterday has gone.
Yesterday has gone, live for today and tomorrow is another day.
Yesterday may have been a bad day, think of today as a good and tomorrow is an even better day.
There's no perfect life otherwise life would be boring.
Just start all over again tomorrow.
Always think forward never think back.
Always think well never though bad.
Enjoy the good times but be strong to the bad times. 2000 onwards
What it would be like to see no one.
It would be a lonely world to see no one.
There's no one to talk to, no one to help, and no to ask a question or give an answer to.
It's so dark when you are allowed but then there's no one to tell you anything that you don't want to hear.
You may need to hear some things whether you like to hear them or not because they could be words of truth. 2000 onwards.
When we first got together.
When I first saw you I knew I wanted you.
Butterflies flew through my stomach.
How it broke my heart we both broke up.
I could not help missing you so much.
I could not believe you could leave me for her.
I hated her so much but I loved you so much, I still feel that way now. 2000 onwards.
Eddie dog.
Eddie dog loves playing with his ball, well with anything soft, which includes human's soft objects.
Eddie is a naughty but funny and nice dog.
Eddie needs his headlock on when you take him out for a walk, he pulls you too hard.
Eddie is getting an old boy but it never seems like, he does not seem to slow down.
He still plays with anything and everything he can see.
He still messes with people's shoes and socks.
When he needs a long sleep, he will wake for his dinner and walk. 2001
Bonfire night.
Weeks before bonfire night, you hear the fire works keep going off all night; it gives us such a fright.
The good thing about it is that they give nights plenty of light.
People practicing before bonfire night.
The flashing lights are so bright for your eyes. 26.5.2002
Granny
My Granny used to sit and talk to her friends and family in her chair.
Like all Grannies she she'd fall a sleep in her rocking chair like a baby sleeps in their cot.
Now Granny's chair is empty and bare.
My Granny has think sliver gray naturally curly hair.
She used to talk looking at you through those lovely kinds’ eyes as she would stair.
I'd even feel lost without seeing Granny mostly when I go to her house where my Father lives.
I'd even saw my Grandfather, Father and Uncle after she died.
Like Granny's funerals we went to say good bye,
I did not cry because she would not wanted us to cry, she lived a grand old age of eighty - three. 1997 – 2000
The big tiger.
The big tiger will bit if he needs to bit.
You will wake up in the night with a fright.
The big tiger seems to have evil eyes.
The big tiger also have very bright orange stripes.1997 – 2012
War verse for any war.
Gray planes flying in the sky.
Bleeding wounds and died bodies what a bloody mess the world is in.
Love and home is where the heart is.
Ships sailing in the water from place to place.
Some soldiers live and others died. 31.1.2001
First World War.
The First World War was what you called the Great War.
How bad is that because no war is great?
This must have been Kaiser Williams' idea to call the Great War.
Still, what does one except Kaiser was the person who made the First World War possible? Wilfred Owen, Siegfried Sassoon, Rupert Brooke and many more First World war poets who were First World war soldiers.
It was Hitler who made the Second World War possible having been a soldier in the second World War.
Hitler’s reason for the Second World War is because he wants the Germans to win because they did not win the First World War, it did not get him anywhere because the Germans did not win either wars.
In the mean time Hitler destroyed Jews, Disabled people, Gays and lives of all kinds of people with difference race.
What a dangerous man Hitler was!
Now the Gulf war is here the Germans are keeping out, they haven't got the money anymore.
The German's are not really to blame for both wars the blame is Kaiser Williams and Hitler for creating those two world wars, the Germans just took their orders.
The British and the Americans beat the Germans but some people say it would have been better if the Germans would have won, they think Britain and the States would have been a better place if we would have lost the Germans.
It does not mean that I have been told the right information about counties been better off if they would have lost Two World wars, it does not mean I understood clearly what people said to me.
A lot of men suffered Mustard gas in the First World War my Grandfather's Father was one of them.
People wore Gas masks to protect themselves from bombs, smoke and etc in the air.
A lot of soldiers sank in their boots in the muddy bogs.
Sore wounded soldiers had been hibernated from place to place.
Bodies of dead soldiers are anywhere and everywhere.
Sleep in peace not war.
What a horror of war!
The world is full of emptiness without love.
What does it matter about peoples' religion, nationality and colour of skin, they are what and who they just like we are?
What we tend to forget is that these men that died so young in this messy war died to give us our lives but lost their own.
We have a lot to thank these young men but these men were old than us but yet younger than us, they did not even have chance to experience life like we have, we must thank our lucky stars. 31.1.2001 - 23.4.2003 - 19.8.2012
The Second World.
Tears from woman when their lovers who have had to go to war.
There was rain of sadness for them all.
Not knowing whether or not they are going to see their lovers again.
Death and life can be so cruel, if the world is that cruel why was it made?
There were blood and burns anywhere and everywhere.
It was not all sad times that people sing, dance is happy but they were trying to make out what was this bloody war was about.
There's no prefect world, things can't be good all the time but the world gets cruller. 31.1.2001
War poem.
It's time to kiss and say bye.
Good hearts miss one another.
There are memories of tears, sadness and happiness.
It becomes a mystery what the future does, not know whether your love one is going to live or not.
It's very hard to have a war that you do not wonder about being wounded or the loss of life. 31.1.2001
Freedom at last.
Looking forward to the future is very hard to do.
There are young children and adults with their whole lives ahead of them.
Young men and woman risking their lives to save others.
Wouldn't it be nice to say freedom at last?
It gets too much when everyone rightly wants peace so why have war then we will always have peace? 31.1.2001
You've lived a good long life.
The Germans made your life hell one way or the other in the Second World War.
Now everyone likes all their own people in their own country let alone other counties.
There's no point of being raciest: there's no point of war.
Life is hard enough without war.
Sometimes you can lose friendships when your country is given a bad name.
We are all human beings.
If everyone liked everyone in the world it would be a perfect and a boring world.
People full out enough without fights.
You have a had good long life.
You told the family things about the Second World War.
Times have changed so much like they do, we have not done and saw what you have done and saw.
We are not like you, we have not lived.
We do not know we are born.
If it had not have been for you we would not have been here today.
You clever brave soldier who lived through the Germans giving you such a hard time.
We thank our lucky stars we have not been through what you have been through.
Not many of us will risk our lives for others, what is wrong with us; we are not as brave as you were Granddad?
You enjoyed the good times and copied with the bad times.
That's more than I can say for us in the world today.
We must not make a fuss about our bad times which were not as bad as what you bad times were.
Thank you for giving us day by day in the best way you can.
When there's a will there's a way of coping with the hardest things in life.
If you got through hard times surly we can.
However big or small the problem we will get through the days and nights of our lives.
More problems mended in the end but sometimes you can't mend what has been broken.
You lived to be eighty - six and came home to my Gran at the end of the Second World War.
We are all glad that you lived a grand old age but we miss you more and more.
You were tried and had enough of the bad in life but you miss the good.
We remember you with happiness.
Rest in peace Granddad.
Thank you from us all.
However, never mind and never worry. 31.1.2001 - 22.4.2003 - 18.8.2012
Love and War.
Husbands and boyfriends go to fight at war.
Wives and girlfriends waiting at the door.
What if he falls in love with someone else?
What if he dies and does not pull through.
Oh god I will cry, oh my oh my.
The baby cries, no milk and why?
No money to buy milk.
Now I need my true love even more and more.
Is that him knocking at the door?
My word darling I need you more.
Five years at war is a long time.
Please darling can I nurse you wounds.
Cheer up darling you have won the war; there is not a war anymore.
I will nurse you darling more and more until you are well, I would not dream of letting you dwell.
Loving arms from the man you love who served his country.
No more weeping tears.
It's just look if he's still alive.
Peace at last.
The future is now what you think about.1997 - 2001 - 19.8.2012
The First World War soldier's mind.
It's November to December time, my world is a fall of sinking in a muddy bog.
Bombs, shooting and fighting going on, my best mates dying in mud.
My mates have all gone; I have girl or family to stay with at Christmas time. 31.1.2001
People left behind.
It's very sad for families, lovers and friends when someone dies from war.
My heart bleeds for people who have lost their loved ones through all wars at all times.
Some people feel hopeless when they are here and the people are over there.
If I were not disabled I'd go to risk my life to save others.
I hope as many people as possible will put through this war now, even if we have had to learn to accept lost lives. 31.1.2001
11th September 2001.
It's hard to forget the two towers falling down in New York.
The 11th September 2001 is on your mind all the time.
It's hard to sleep, you feel so weak.
It's such a shock when you lose the people you love; I guess this has given so much danger to buildings and homes.
Remembering the people you knew for the people they were.
Heaven should be a peaceful place for them.
No one else will be the same to you but sadly life goes on.
They are in their own worlds sleeping and dreaming in peace.
They want you to live day by day.
They want to feel better by your lives and for you to live better lives than what they did.
You can't be sad all the time.
Every 11th September will sadly be a reminder for you that you don't need to be reminded of but a chance to remember the happy times you had together. 31.10.2002 - 1.11.2002
Fright and fear.
Does anyone know whether or not, if Brush and Briar have done the right thing by this war?
I don't think they have done the right thing; this war could kill the world with crime on top.
The world wants peace and love not greed and war.
We want to keep away from people who hate us.
Don't kill!
The devil will get you in the end, if there is life after death.
We will live in heaven to give peace and love.
You will live in hell with the devil if there is such a thing to believe in.
This is a message to people who want to give war to people; you will live and dwell in hell. 3-9.3.2003
I don't believe what I hear.
Many a times I have woke up hoping that the war was just a nightmare.
We are still trying to find out who was to blame for September 11th 2001.
Proof or not, why jump the gun, it could be anybody or anyone it may even boo more than one.
These things need to be looked into a bit more slowly and carefully.
The British government is giving the British people a bad name, when not every British person is to blame for this war.
Did Sardam cause the war? Who knows!
Why let more and more people get killed?
Too many good heroes out there risking their lives to save others.
With war most people sadly get killed in the end.
We had been told that Sardam had killed a lot of his own people in Iraqi.
People say Sardam is a very cure and hurtful man.
People in Iraqi don't have water, food and clothes because of Sardam. 10-13.3.2003
What's going to happen?
What a nightmare that's so true.
What is this world coming to, I think this is world war three, this could be killing we.
My question is!
Are we going to be having more than thousands of lives lost round the world?
How much is this war going to cost, more lives lost extra cost on tax?
Will it get to the stage that we could be all dead with no world?
I hope there are some people around to read this poem.
There's no question or answer, no right, no wrong.
No one can see the future to what it's going to give us.
Tomorrow is just another day and tonight is unknown.
Tomorrow is yet to come. 13-16.3.2003
Peace.
We want this war to be over.
We want our lives to be lived to the full, knowing that we will still be here tomorrow.
Be happy to live your life how you want and the best way you can.
No one knows how you and I are going to end up being. 17.3.2003
Love.
Give the world as much love as you can.
It takes all kinds of people to make a war but it take all kinds of people to give love.
We are all in the same boat in ways fearing for people's lives and our own.
We should all get through this war together by loving and supporting another.
Know one will know where it will be one day to the next; most countries may be safe not but in the future who knows!
We must as much peace and love as much as we can but no war.
Be brave enough to take it day by day. 12-13.5.2003
War and peace.
What a life.
Make sure you have good times.
Try to get through the bad times.
You start off young.
You end up old but then you learn a lot more than you know now.
Everyone wonders about what life all is all about whether it's a waste or not.
Life is what you make it, if you make it good, it's no waste at all.
There are too many people risking their lives for others.
They are risking their lives for you and me.
We are risking our lives in our country in order to live our lives.
There are too many dangerous people about on this earth sadly.
Heaven could be the most peaceful place to be if there is a place called heaven.14-15.5.2003 - 23.4.2003 - 19.8.2012
Mothers and children.
Mothers and children stuffing from war.
Babies been born during the war.
Life can get shorter by war but we can be strong enough to pull through war.
Lives can be put at risk everywhere with bombs going off in schools and children wearing gas masks.
Never knowing how many people live and how many die. 15-16.5.2003
Hurt.
Sleeping and hanging around the streets feeling weak.
No one knows what the future holds.
Many children are in care without families of their own.
There's so much terror out there, they are in need of peace and love.
It's very sad that so many young people lose their live so soon.
How can we see them suffer with so much pain?
They are so brave to stand the pain.
How can we heel the wounds from been scared for life or death.
Having had to cope with hurt through war, what about the children who get beaten up by adults.
It's such a cruel world out there. 16-19.5.2
Who is!
Who is or who are the person or people who caused the 11th 2001 war?
That person or even those people could be alive or even dead.
He or she could be anywhere to be.
Nobody knows the answers.
President Brush should not jump the gun.
He's giving America a bad name saying it's Saddam Hussein.
No one can just blame anyone 23.5.2003
Death.
We all suffer lose of love.
This brings pain to everyone.
These things happen through war, illnesses, car crashes and etc.
All we have left is memories.
One life lost another one starts. 26.5.2003
Coping.
No one to talk to.
No children, no Grandchildren.
No one cares.
Far too cold, I want to be warm.
No where to cool down, it's too easy to pass out.
Not knowing whether or not tomorrow is going to be a good or bad day.
Are there going to be homes for the homeless, many have lived like this since the 2nd world war. At night I look at the stars.
I make my private wish.
I accept death that people are looking and thinking what they would think and say to what I do, don't, say and don't say.
They could be watching every little step and sound I make laughing crying.
Watch what you say and think how people who you have would response to how you live your life now. 28.5.2003 - 29.5.2002 -18.8.2012
Why not?
Why not have peace, love and freedom?
Why have bad people breaking this world?
Why suffer so much pain?
Why feel as if someone or something is missing out your life?
The bad people may die but it does not bring back the good people who they killed.
Really only the good die young.
29.5.2003
what next?
Why is the tunnel so dark?
Why can't we see the light at the end of the tunnel?
Where are we going to end up?
Will we ever get peace and love?
Will we ever be happy enough to put behind fear, fright and pain?
Will we be forever brave?
Will we ever feel human again? 3.5.2003
People.
People who are unlucky don't show their true feelings.
They don't show their sadness, they still smile and laugh even thought they feel as if the world is coming down on them.
Most lucky people show unhappiness all the time and they become greedy.
We lucky people should show smiles and happiness.
We must be happy with what we have got.
We must help the unlucky people become lucky.
Most rich people are greedy, they want more once they get it all.
Most poor people are as happy as if they have got the world.
Most people who have just enough money to live on help the poor out but most of the rich are out for their selves.
The poor have no choice neither do the people who are just about lucky enough to have enough to live on.
More poor people seem to be kinder than most rich.
Some people who are well off are just alright.
One saying that has always stood the rich is getting richer: the poor are getting poorer.
The well off can go either one way or the other.
(What is life all about?)
Even though we live life everyday, it's still hard to understand.
(Does anyone even understand the human brain?) 2-6.62004
What a life.
Iraqi has had enough of Saddam Hussan.
They say he has taken away their food, water and clothes.
Britain has had enough muggings, murders and goodness knows what.
America has the same problem as Britain.
Bair and Brush think they can attack Saddam Hussan without Iraqi.
That's very hard without feeling guilty that thousands of poor people may be killed in Iraqi.
This is world war 3.
I can understand why the Iraq civilians hate Saddam so much for what he put them through.
Saddam started off wanting to fight Britain and American as well as his own people.
The last Gulf war was in 1991.
On and off for 20 years this war has seemed to have carried on to other counties.
There was talk about the war been over back 2003 when it had yet again begun?
We all hate wars!
While the soldiers were in Iraqi, Saddam went off else where.
No one knew whether Saddam was dead or alive.
Everyone was all on edge in case he came back to harm his own people.
This would have caused them more pain.
The soldiers wanted to go home.
The soldiers wanted to know that the civilians were living peaceful lives.
We thought the Saddam war would have carried on, it's seemed to have lasted forever until Britain and America killed him. 23.4.2003 - 6.6.2003 - 19.8.2012
Humanity.
I am not against humanity, I am human myself.
There should be no one against humanity because we are all human.
Why is there war, stop the war!
Feel free to go to church if or and when you want!
Don't do what you don't want to do!
Be the person you want to be.
You are still human if you’re black and you’re still human if you’re white.
You should be welcome where you want to be but counties must not be over crowded with people because we all should have human rights.
Feel free to walk away if you’re not happy with but society should not give you anything to fright you should feel free.
Life is too short to waste without making it any worse than it is.
There should be something to be happy about, smile about and laugh about.
For far too long now we have had too much to cry about so let's stop upsetting one another!
I know the world seems to be falling to pieces but we can live in hope.
Take everything as it comes.
Do whatever makes you happy.
Crying and thinking about it all the while is not going to end.Losing a friend or a member of the family is very sad.
Get support off people that will help you get on with your life.
You are strong one way or the other.
We all know it's not possible to live a perfect life, we can't get good news all the while but there's far too much bad news today.
Winter cold, snow, rain, hale, sleet and wind.
Autumn, cold winds blowing the leaves on the trees that change from green to golden brown bit by bit.
Hot sunny days sun baying.
Most green leaves create a lovely green leaves on the trees for a garden life.
Thoughts. They lose their lives to save others.
The hurt, pain and upset for family and friends.
We should love one another over the loss of our loved ones.
We will never know how long it's going to last.
We wonder if any of us are going to be here at all.
No matter what views we have got, we want peace and love. 6-6-12.62003 – 12.6.2003
Will it ever end?
Why is there war, will it ever end?
Be careful people!
There's nothing we can do about this war unless it ends.
It will take as long as it takes, which make seem like forever or never.
Make the most of life; you will never know what's round the dark condor.
There's no point falling out over war no point at all.
Whatever we all think we are all suffering in our own way.
Life becomes wasted if you let it so make the most of it
why can't the earth be quiet?
Why is not life worth living?
We all know or should know that the world is not black and white, it look at it in the right light.
If you wait long enough there's a bright light at the end of that tunnel, just don't stop until you get there, it's a long way to see it but it's there.
There's far too much crime without causing more in this country with causing more and without causing war.
The only thing that could be causing that there are far too many people in the world but we also have rights to live where we live.
There does not seem to be enough money around to keep far many people in one country so government should think more carefully and about the people who were born and still live in their country.
So many lives have been lost through war and crime, its cruelty to humanity.
Stop it all now!
Stop harming the lives of children as well as teenagers and adults!
We don't know how bigger mountain we have to climb.
We don't know how much life is left but cherish every moment at your best.
We are all together drinking and talking.
Finding out how one another got here in the first place.
How are we going to get out of here to start to lead a normal life whatever that is?
No one should have to suffer at all.
Sadly this is part of everyone's lives.
Why is there war, there should be peace.
It's too dark to climb that mountain yet. 16-19.6.2003 - 18. 8 .2012
Children. Children
Having nightmares and waking up crying.
There's fear when you look into their eyes.
Living with fear, when going to school, scared of been bullied, scared of abused, scared of rape and scar of bombs going off.
Screaming, shouting in fear of death.
There's enough violence in the world without causing more.
Why don't we call it one words for it all dangerous things we go through, that could be war!
There's enough fear out there for everyone.
Aircraft, shooting bombs flying through the sky.
Every fright, fear and pain.
Families worrying about children.
Thank god if the children are safe enough.
Give as much love and care as possible.
Be brave and strong as you can.
Fight through the pain and fear.
Never walk alone in this world.
We have to look forward in time not back.
Live in hope that the war will be over soon.
Look forward to peace.
Young lives may begin then end.
Some lucky people may just come through. 22.4. 2003 - 18.8.2012
The strength to carrying on.
I can taste, sense, feel, see and hear fear.
Shooting from guns, bombs and planes.
Unhappy news events of death.
Give love, care and support.
If the world on earth is dangerous, just may be the world in heaven is safe.
Not that I am a believer or disbeliever in earth and heaven because no one can say for sure, it's much unknown what is true or not.
My fear is its world war starting from 2003 that really started in 2001 when New York towels fell.
Let's face it the whole world could be coming down on you and me.
Be brave in hope we will get but then if the worse comes to the worst no one is alone it will all come to us altogether.
Let's hope we walk from darkness to lightness.
Thank goodness if we see any light at all.
We have been lucky enough to miss two world wars.
Our Grannies and Granddads went through all this for us.
We don't know how lucky we are to have been born.
Everyday ups and down is a war as it is.
Through out history, we're lucky the world is still standing. 22.4.2003 - 23-25.6.2003 - 18.8.2012
Nature human life.
What a state of the human race.
Why is this case?
The fighting’s, the killings and wounded soldiers who are far too young to lose their lives.
Why are we so cruel to one another?
Why can't the world create peace not war?
We all have different views about just like all topics.
So many disagreements can turn into war.
I hate people falling out they are making war for themselves.
War is boring mainly when it goes on far too long but the truth is there should be no war.
War just brings history to us all.
What it teaches us is the generation before us had it worse than us. War takes human lives away, that's not nature at all.
Young lives gone through the fault of other human beings who are not either animals or humans they are just killers.
I also hurts families and friends, leaves children without a parent or two.
These people may well risk their lives to save others but they still die.
Life is cruel to us.
We are given fear of being hated.
There's no answer to any question of war being cruel to life.
The thing is to think strong, give time and you will find happiness with something, someone somewhere some day.
Give us peace and love on eWishful thinking is to stop war.
Give us a future to look forward to.
Give us freedom to live happy lives the best way we can. 26.6.2003 -18.8.2012
I hate going to the dentist.
I hate going to the dentist, I hate the hooks bet ween my teeth.
It's a good job the dentist is every six mouths, I don't think I could stand it everyday.
I do not think I could take it very much. 1997 – 2000.
What's it all about?
What's the point of being born when there's war?
You go to school, college, work, may be marry have children or and etc.
Your parents Grandparents and great Grandparents and etc have been there before us.
All this happens then it's time to die.
What's the point of been born when there's too much pain to suffer?
Jumping the gun, when disliking other counties, to me that am racism.
People must understand we don't like everyone in our own country who is the same as us so why dislike every person difference to us?
What is the same we are all human beings?
If we all liked one another it would be a perfect boring world but let's not be racism to one another.
We should keep away from another if we can't get on with one another. 27.6.2003 - 18.8.2012
how unkind life can be.
You should not be lying in your coffee at such a young age.
You should be in a romantic wood.
We should be eating out in the sunshine and drinking wine together on a hot summer's day.
We should not be dead if your dead I am too.
There's handy any happiness in the world today.
I don't feel the joys of spring something is missing in my life mostly in winter weather. 20.11.2005
this poem is based on a ghost story I have been trying to write for years ' called TALKING TO THE GRAVES'.
my memory of George Harrison.
Like a lot of us I never knew George as a person.
We knew George as an ex Beatle he playing and whiling his guitar gently weeps.
What was so sad was that he was not here to be sixty - four.
The happiest thing is that he did not lose his hair.
He would have got his valentine card and bottle of wine.
The sad thing was that I was not here to enjoy the sixty.
Even though when I’m 64 wasn’t the song that George, it was Paul’s song.
Nevertheless George and Paul went to the same school so Paul wouldn’t mind George sharing his song, when I’m 64.
I was born at the wrong time.
By the time I understood about Beatles they slit up.
When I heard the news of John Lennon when got shot that was a big shock
Sadly John Lennon died December 8th; I was only eleven years old.
However long famous people lives great talent never dies.
Wherever you are George all your music will forever shine.
We all miss him, we all kiss him.
Have nice rest George. 3.12.2001 - 4.12.2001
I think I am having a breakdown.
I think I am having a nervous break down.
I feel like cracking up, I don't know what to do or where to turn.
I can't see what a head of me is.
Something or someone is pushing me over the edge.
What or and who could it be? 1997 – 2000
I treasure only one history love I had.
He is just a poor confused man who does not know what he wants in life.
He is a gentle, loving and caring gentleman.
He gave and took the best he could.
I am more grateful with what he had done for me in two and a half years.
He used to be a romantic wild red rose so now that's the best he goes.
Flowers on every birthday card he send me he chose.
He used to make me feel like the lady of his life.
I loved his smile that made my love for him worth while.
He used to be a very wise man.
He gave me so much love that I can't believe that anyone else could replace.
The love I had for him I treasure by my lonely heart.
I know life is life but I wish we were sharing love together in our hearts.
Now those days are over, my heart has to cope with happiness, laughter, joy sadness and tears.
Happy history is not forgotten to me, it's worth being alone until I can move on to love someone better, new and get rid of all the pain I am going through. Written 1997.
Life.
Why is there a world?
Why are we ever born?
What is the world coming to?
Sooner we are born we are dead.
Life can hit you the face without a warning so make the most of it. 5.8.2002
The World.
Why war on top of crime, is it not unsafe enough?
Why war and crime at all?
Why should we live in fear of becoming victims?
It seems as if the whole world is coming to peace.
If things are how they are now, what will it be like for the next generation?
Wherever we are from, why can't we feel free in our country, instead of having to lock the door and instead having to live in fear of walking down the street?
Why do people have to hurt one another, what happen to the days if you did not like them you would not speak to them?
You would not even go near someone if you did not know them, let alone liking or disliking them, yet we were less frightened to speak to anyone back then.
Today no one knows anyone not even the people who live next door them, it's sad because people had more friends once they knew people next door to them and some people knew every person who lived in their street.
It should not matter who and what we are, we are all human beings and we all want peace.
War gives us more pain so does crime.
I must talk to you, even though I don't know if you’re real or not.
I might be here, you might be there but either of us could be anywhere.
Whatever happened nothing has changed for us, it never will.
I saw you looking at the newspaper, you had thick blond curly hair
I started to feel something for you as a person but I thought I may have to control it because you may have a wife.
I knew there was never going to be a you and me because you may be married or not for real.
To my surprise in my dreams you kissed, I could not believe my luck.
The hard thing was I was given a choose bet ween you and your twin brother who as well could be in heaven.
It was just a dream I had that turned into a nightmare, no one knows if you were a story or real that I will never know.
I was so much looking forward to seeing you, when you would have come home from war.
Whether you lived or died it was either a nightmare or a dream but not real.
I was looking forward making a fresh start.
At night, there are so many stars in the sky.
I really do believe that you and all good people in heaven are there. 3-19.3.2003 -
A book.
A book full of life.
A book full of stories.
A book full of poems.
A book full of plays.
A paper full of news.
A magazine full of fiction and non - fiction.
A book can be a novel.
What is a book about?
A book is about love.
A book is about hate.
Difference books covers difference subjects, you can read them forever and a day.
There can be more than a thousand subjects that can cover one book, less or more. 20.8.1999
Life seems worthless.
I don't have anything in mind to wish.
When I sleep I dream about the love I used to have.
I can't dream about anything that is happening now because there's nothing happening.
My world seems empty, my head feels full of pain and I don't know what to make of this life I have now.
I don't know what will make me happy now.
I am not saying I am not happy but I can't think what I want in life.
To me everything is new.
I don't know what to do until a new day comes my way.
Some days I feel happy.
Other days I feel sad.
Most days I could laugh.
Other days I could cry.
Other days I could have anger.
Others day I could be mad.
I mostly have my days of anger when I am by myself because I feel so mixed up in my mind.
I want one thing one day another the next. 20.8.1999
Think about the 1914 - 1918 war.
A lot of young men 18 - 35 had lost their lives in the 1914 - 1918 war.
The men who are alive are mostly wounded for life.
Some men have become disabled for the rest of their lives.
Some men are blind, through bombs.
Other men have lost arms, others have lost legs.
Some men have even lost their feet.
Other men have lost eyes, ears, noses and months.
What on earth is life about?
Every town there were street sweepers sweeping the streets.
Grass covered in mud mens boots sank deep.
Smoking cigarettes because they felt down and depressed.
Walking and hiding from in the fog.
Falling into the muddy bog.
Frighting for one's life. 2.1.2000
Reasons why I write poems.
The reason why I write poems to show for the person I love.
To be able to tell them how much I think of them when I do.
How much I miss them when I don't see them.
That someone is you but I don't get to you a lot but I do I enjoy my time with you.
To be able to let out pain when I feel pain. 21.8.2000
Spring on it's way.
It should not be long until the daffodils are in the garden.
Pancake day is in March instead of February.
It is not just a new this year but new century.
Easter eggs, lambs and bunny rabbits come out to play.
All things jumping around all day. 26.2.2000
You were my lover.
You were my lover and best friend too.
You felt everything to me but not what I would though you would be.
Why did it ever end between us?
We had one another then we lost one another, it was a love I would never forget.
You broke my heart but I don't hate you because I still love you so much.
I can't help but forgive you for what you have done to me.
I was only young but two years older than you, you were younger too.
You broke my heart and I broke yours, I guess we have a lot to regret.
Now it's over I understand that you won't have me back.
For me there's no looking back because I know I can not accept you to believe that I have changed a lot to what I used to be.
In some cases it's really true that you always hurt the one you really love.
The one I really love is you. 24.2.2000
Unlucky child.
If you were a child in the nineteenth century your school days would have ended at the age of twelve.
What do you do next?
In the poor dull days they gave you far too much work to do.
Working in the coal mines, chimney sweeps, warehouses, cooking in the kitchens and many more.2000 onwards
I love you and I know you love me.
I love you and I know you love me.
I have a lovely happy feeling you and me are meant to be.
It's so sad that I don't see enough of you to make how I feel about you clear to you.
You are the love who is worth seeing.
You are so special to me. 26.6.2000
Sometimes the world is unkind.
Sometimes you will find the world is unkind.
I am speaking for each and every person that includes people who are disabled and with a learning disability.
Why do people look at people with these problems as if we are not human.
As if we have not not got brain.
We are just a bit slow that's all.
At the end of the day we are just as clever as you but in difference ways.
The fact that we are slow learners makes us do a better job of things but society is in too much of a rush.
When we can do things in our own time and be our bosses, we do a lot better.
We still need to be accepted in society a lot better than we are.
What is so sad jobs are hard to find for everyone today not just us.
There is far too much crime in the world today.
Looking on the bright side I have found as I have getting old I have been getting better.
I have been working in the library for three years now so I am going to stay there until I get to the next step of my career.
I hope the the library will set me to the career I want which is writing.
I hope all these years of hard work will help me to become a writer.
I won't give up in anyway at all. 8.7.2000
My male friend.
I still love you with all my heart.
When you left me my life became hard.
My loving feelings will be here for you for life, however you feel about me.
You are my best caring male friend.
I mean every word I say my dear.
I still care and worry about you a lot.
If you don't feel the same way I will accept that.
I don't want to come bet ween your happiness.
I must carry on accepting whatever happens in the future.
I must be happy with my life.
Deep down the memory of you is not forgotten by me. 26.2.2000
My sweet male love.
To my handsome sweet male love, I love you so much.
Your eyes are like stars that shine in the sky.
My heart is so full of love.
Your heart is full of passion and love.
Lay your head upon my breast, then you may sleep on my chest.
I will love you at my best. Late 20th century to early 21st century.
My love to human kind.
My sister Holly Wood my artist of my poems and story books.
My life like all people has a book inside them.
All about my family who bought me up.
My God daughter Stevie Bea is my baby love.
My lover I love, I will always love. Late 20th century to early 21st century.
I dream of sunshine.
I dream of sunshine with wild red roses to brighten up my life.
My love life seems such a dream if you see what I mean.
On the whole men have been very mean to me.
Many times my heart has broken.
My lover's lips are red enough for me.
My lover's looks are handsome enough.
My lover has lovely bright blond hair.
My lover's love is very strong.
He can be such a nightmare when he drinks himself almost to death.
Antonio was not the man for me. Late 20th century to early 21st century.
I love your smile.
You smile runs out a mile.
Those lovely blue eyes smile a mile.
You really do make me feel as if you are mine.
Let's hope happiness is yours and mine until the end of time.
Please never forget that you are the love of my life. Late 20th to early 21st century
You gave me pain.
You were not the first to make my heart ache and break.
I hope you will be the last to make my ache and break.
Nothing in this world will make me feel the same now.
Even now I still can't sleep.
Even now I still can't eat.
I need to keep my mind busy to stop myself thinking about you.
I still drink more and eat less. 20th to 21st century
Hot and cold Britain.
Why can't the weather make up it's mind?
One minute it's cold the next minute it's hot.
The answer to that we just want the weather to be warm.
(Why?) warm weather makes us feel good.
What we wear?
We don't know until we get outside.
We lead such rushing lives.
We haven't forgotten the times when we knew what to wear.
Sometimes you have not got time to rush home to get a a jumper if your wearing tee shirt.
You either roast or freeze. 2000 onwards.
Beautiful.
Green mountains on hot summer's day in Wales.
Bright yellow sunshine and deep blue sky.
Flowers everywhere to be seen. 2000 onwards.
Epilepsy.
This may not be epilepsy, if not what is it?
Why come back after twenty years?
Why haven't felt well for the last mouth?
Headaches, shakes and the room moving round and round .
The tablets cure one thing and bring another thing on.
I feel shaky and tired.
I am not looking forward to a brain scan, flashing lights and electric stick glue wires in my hair.
It's like a big storm inside my head.
It causes your nerves to be bad mainly when you have waiting to see if you pass or fail.2001 onwards.
Too much greed in the world.
There is far too much greed in the world today.
We just tend to pick one another more and more.
Too many debates over difference subjects.
Why not have your own point a views and keep them to your self.
Why do we have a problem with each other?
As long as no is hurt anyone, what is the problem?
What can we except?
Not a perfect world.
For goodness sake we all make mistakes.
Every we come across it's about money, why?
People say about peace, where is peace?
Everything seems to be a problem, there so many of them for everyone than ever before.
The world is just war, I think always has been and always will be. 21st century.
What's wrong with the world today?
Why can't we walk down the street without worrying about danger?
What has happened to manners and respect?
At one time you could leave your doors and windows open but not anyone.
No one could come in unless they asked you.
It is now a change for the worse, now we have to accept that but not every change is a bad change. 21st century
Chewing gum.
I remember the old school rule, no chewing gum in class.
No sticking the gum to your school desks.
When I look back the rule made sense.
Someone would throw in your hair, then it would be sticky.
As you walk across it was always there until the person to blame got the cane.
It would even stick to your shoes and clothes.21st century
I live near a wood.
I live near a wood.
At night I walk through the wood as I walk from the bus stop.
You keep me safe when I walk home at night.
I feel as if you are walking with me.
Nobody believes your there but I do to keep myself strong.
Not many people walk through the woods at night. 21st century
Your out there somewhere.
You took the blanket off the bed.
You put the blanket back on the bed.
You even made the bed for me.
I feel your fingers running down my spine.
Your never out of my mind.
You never go away.
I still wish I met you all the same.
The world must think I am in sane. 21st century
Parents.
Parents mess your heads up without meaning to.
They take their histories of their own family lives on you.
They never mean to give you a childhood like theirs but little is sometimes there.
There are times they are fed up of their own lives, it gets taken out on you.
Never bring another generation, your own child will always spot something you like them.
No matter how hard you try not to, you always lets you kids down somehow.
Just be yourself, you can't hurt anyone then but then again some people in the world have keep the world going round. 21st century.
Child hood.
Some of us have a good children others
have a bad yet you could have a mixed.
Adults tell you that school days are the
best years of your life just to get you to school.
That's a load of rubbish in my case.
In my case like many children,
I was bullied in school so school days
were the worse days of my life.
You listen to the sound
of the wind.
It's like a birds wing's flapping
in the wings.
Water rushing like the stream
river and sea.
I once believed the big bad
woof was in the wardrobe.
I once believed that the
troll was under the bridge.
I once believed there were
Father Christmas's,
rain deers and elves.
May be there might be some
truth in fairy tales after all.
Watch out for the big bad wolf.
Watch who is outside your doors these days.
May be we should believe in fairy tales after all.
May be the people who wrote these fairy tales saw
dangerous futures for us all.
If that's the case they are right.
Don't let it keep you awake at night.
Live life how you like.
Be strong and be aware of what's around you.
I am not trying to frighten you,
I am just telling the truth.
I once believed that snowmen could
walk through the snow.
I once believed that the fairies gave
me money for my teeth so I hope they
did but never gave me money for my ear rings.
I lost so many pairs of ear rings by
putting them under my pillow.
You are a skeleton who swims in the sea.
Watch you don't get a electric shock!
Every part of your body comes apart and
back together again like plugs
coming in and out of sockets.
Is there more water in heaven
than there is on earth? 2000 onwards.
Forgotten.
I have a good memory but I have forgotten.
I know it does not make sense.
What is your name? I have forgotten, don't tell me.
I don't want to remember if I don't have to.
What did you look like?
Does it really matter I may have had
a dream or a nightmare.
Did you kiss me?
So what, why and who is my question?
I know even know who I am talking to
and what I am talking about.
So why did I ask in the first place then?
Were we in love or just friends?
Are you male or female?
It may have been a mistake. 2000 onwards
So I am not bothered.
Last I heard he was married.
Good to her, I'd rather her than me.
I only used to dream that you were close to me.
You are not real are you?
I did not really go with you, did I?
If so I must have had a nightmare then.
I have forgotten what you used to say to me
because you used to lie so often.
I was so happy when you went off with her
because you played behind my back anyway. 2000 onwards.
The sun heat.
On a very summer's day every leaf is green.
Everything is all the colors should be.
Sometimes the heat of the hot sun is far too hot.
There's not enough air, cool down with cold drinks.
Dive into a pool then have a shower.
The heat makes it very hard to sleep.
Too many restless nights. 2000 onwards
You are a ghost.
May be it's hard to see in the dark unless you eat carrots.
Your name is unknown to a lot of people.
It's still not known if you were real or not,
I think you are just a character in my mind.
I dream how life would have been if you were real. 2000 onwards.
Life alone.
Outside I may well have friends.
When I get home I face the tablet, the chair,
the television and computer.
My sink, my toaster, my fridge, cooker and the mic.
My toilet, sink, bath and shower.
My bed, wardrobe and dressing tablet. 2000 onwards.
Yesterday has gone.
Yesterday has gone, live for today and tomorrow
is another day.
Yesterday may have been a bad day,
think
of today as a good and tomorrow be
an even better day.
There's no perfect life otherwise life
would be boring.
Just start all over again tomorrow.
Always think forward never think back.
Always think good never though bad.
Enjoy the good times but be strong
to the bad times. 2000 onwards
What it would be like to see no one.
It would be a lonely world to see no one.
No one to talk to, no one to help, no to ask a
question or give an answer to.
It's so dark when you are allowed but then
then there's no one to tell you anything
that you don't want to hear.
You may need to hear some things whether
you like to hear them or not because they
could be words of truth. 2000 onwards.
When we first got together.
When I first saw you I knew I wanted you.
Butterflies flew through my stomach.
How it broke my heart we both broke up.
I could not help missing you so much.
I could not believe you could leave me for her.
I hated her so much but I loved you so much,
I still feel that way now. 2000 onwards.
The future
The future is no one's guess.
No one can say what is going to happen.
No one can say how long or short we are going to live.
No one can say whether or not we get what
we dream of but most of the time we need
to live in the real world which is there truth.
There's no harm in laughing and joking but
we need to be serious too, get the
balance bet ween the two.
Most things don't stay the same they do
change but there are some things not
many things stay the same.
It's too easy to think the person we love is
going to be like the last, let's forget the past.
We all make mistakes but most of
us learn from them others do not.
Somethings we can't change but
others we can. 2000 onwards.
I am here for you, if you want me too.
If you want to me another chance to love you again,
I am here for you if you want me too.
If you don't want to give me another chance
I understand that too,
I don't blame you what I put you through.
If you want a woman lover or a loving friend,
I am here for you if you want me too.
If something or someone is bothering you,
I am here for you if you feel you need and
want a woman to talk to.
You are welcome to cry on me if you want
to if you need a woman close to you, I am here for you.
Whatever you want from me,
I am here for you if you want me too.
You have love from me, cry on
and if you someone to talk to if you want me too,
I am here for you too.
Feel free friendship or lovers it's up to you.
I don't mind as long as something is
going on bet ween us. 2.1.2000
I can live without you, if I have to live without you.
If I have to live without your love,
I will live without your love.
I don't like living without your love,
it hurts me very much but I am strong enough.
I miss you and your love so much but I can cope enough.
One thing I can say is that I have never cried
my eyes out over anything or anyone like I
have cried my eyes out over you.
Now can you see how much I really love you,
I have always loved you and think I always will do. 29.12.1999
Have you changed the man I knew or even still know?
Please don't change the kind of man you are.
If you have changed, please change back into the
man I once knew and fell in love with!
Please stay the same,
not matter what that's why I still love you.
Please stay,
you don't have to love me as
long as you don't change.
You can have feelings and
think anyway you want about me.
I will still always love even if you don't love
me and that you don't have me back. 29.12.1999
You left me very lonely.
You left me very lonely.
You left me very sad.
No matter what you put me through
I still love you very much.
People say I am sad and mad to ever want
you back but I don't care about that.
Why can't people see it was not all
your fault it was my fault too?
The relationship we had was not
anything to do with them.
I am all for giving you another
chance because I love you so much if want me too.
I would like to start it off as loving friendships,
then we could see whether it's worth
getting back together or not. 2.1.2000
If you keep me, you won't get hurt anymore, I really do promise you.
Please try to worry in case I hurt because I won't.
I understand getting to know someone new is hard to do.
I know at this early stage that we are protecting
ourselves and each other.
We are learning how to trust one another.
I know that I feel very sure that I can trust
you and I think you can trust me too.
Only one day at a time will tell us about one another.
You are not trapped by me, I am not trapped by you.
I don't own you and you don't own me.
Just be careful in life, that's all I say. 26.5.2000
When I am alone with you.
When I am alone with you, I really feel as if I belong to you.
When I phone you I still feel as if we are together.
It's a lovely feeling bet ween us even if we
don't see a lot of one another.
The lovely feeling of been held and kissed.
You are the only person that has ever made me feel right.
When I don't see you every night feels like a lonely night.
I miss you all the while but it all seems very much worth while.
Times goes slowly when I am waiting to see and speak to you.
When the moments come it all seems right and nice.
At night I always wish I could be with you because
I love you so much.
In the day time I miss you so much.
Your job makes us miss one another so much.
I respect and think about you so much.
I can't stop thinking about you so much.
I wish I was in the love of your arms.
I wish you were holding me tight.
I wish you were kissing my lips,
which feels just right. 26.5.2000
I'd rather be with no one but you.
I know we don't know one another that well yet.
I know we have such a lot to learn about one another.
I understand things are not easy for either
of us these days, through no fault of our own.
I know you will know that I don't enjoy
these hard situations anymore than you.
I like you such lot, as I have got older
I have got a bit stronger in my mind
and I hope will get even more stronger.
I will take whatever there is to take on
board and I don't give up.
Through choice there's no one
I'd rather be with only you.
I miss you so much but I understand
that nothing is yet possible or not at all.
I understand it's not all about how I feel,
it's also about you because
you have feelings too. 24.12.2009
Sorry.
There's no way I want to cause stress on to you, I like you a lot.
I am sorry the way I feel like I do if that's too much.
I have to be honest I miss you so much.
I don't want to make life hard for you. 15.12,2009
I don't feel myself.
The weather is so cold.
I miss you so much.
I just feel so low, I don't have any get up and go.
I understand that it's not all about what I want in life, you matter too.
I know it has not been easy with both of us coming to terms with damaged failed relationships we have had. 15.12.2009
I can't sleep.
I can't sleep I have so much on my mind.
Twenty to three in the morning.
I just have so much stress that I don't want to put on you.
I am just not thinking straight at the moment.
The weather is even more cold and dark without you. 15.12.2009
I know it's hard.
The days and nights are long without you.
Hours and weeks are even longer.
Mondays and Tuesdays are really shorter, it does not seem as if we see one another fro long.
Despite on how hard it is, I don't give up, I like you too much.
With the cold weather having kicked my depression has kicked inside.
All of us could do without Christmas, depression hits everyone this time of year.
Christmas makes me miss my Nan in heaven even more
If YOU ARE A GOOD PERSON, WILL END UP IN HEAVEN.
Enjoy life to the full.
If you can't be good be careful.
Be naughty, enjoy but don't be too bad.
Try to be happy not sad.
Be strong and brave in hard times.
Happiness will grow on earth.
Heaven will be a peaceful place when you get there if you believe it will.
There has to be something to keep us going in this life even if it's hard to believe what is true. 13.11.2001
Bad has turned into good.
The problems I had at the birth, I am lucky to be alive.
I am very thankful to people's support even though living with my disability is hard for not only for me but my family too.
We are now used to me having a disability, we have lived with it nearly forty years.
I have learned that I am not alone in the world although it felt like that way for many years of my live.
I am not the only person in the world with disabilities, a lot of my friends have disabilities too.
As a child I felt like the odd one in the world as if everyone could do everything and I could do nothing.
Now I feel apart of everyone even though you always get some people who enjoy trying to make life unhappy for you, no one with a disability is alone there, people without disabilities have to live with it too.
I may be a bit slow but I am still a human being just like you.
What is normal at the end of the day?
No one is perfect.
No one is right all the time about anything.
It would be boring if everyone was right about everything and everybody.
It took me many years to believe that I am not alone, now that I know that I am a lot happier person.
I feel a lot better now I have got a career that I never thought I'd have. 2001 - 2009
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