DISCRIMATION IN THE NIGHT CLUB.

Susan used to go a night club called the Darkhouse in Wolverhampton. She used to go with her three friends June, Dave and Jack. Susan in the night club them for six to twelve mouths.
Susan had epilepsy, her fits were really bad but they didn't stop her from living her life. Susan mostly drank soft drinks, she didn't drink a lot of beer due to her tablets.
One night Susan went out for a cigarette as normal. Even though she had had been drinking soft drinks she still managed to have a very bad fit. John the manager happened to spot Susan on the floor as he was on the way to a cigarette but in his mind she was blind drunk. John told the bouncer Bob that Susan was bared and he rang the ambulance.

" That young lady is blind drunk, she's bared."

When the ambulance driver came he checked Susan over.

" Excuse me sir, the young lady has had a very bad fit."

John wouldn't agree with the ambulance driver.

" I've had enough of this girl not spending enough money in here." said John

" Excuse me, Sir you get on with your job and I will get on with mine."

John's face went very long as he listened to the truth that hurt him.

Suddenly June, Jack and Dave came to look for Susan because she was longer than normal and hadn't said goodbye. No one had bothered to tell them that Susan was ill.
John told June that Susan was bared.

" I'm going in the ambulance with Susan, she's my friend." said June

The next day June had to tell Susan about her been bared.

" It rightly doesn't surprise me as I haven't spend enough money in there."
" That's not the only reason Susan, John thought you were blind drunk last night."
" Tell me something new, June I'm used to discrimination."
"It doesn't make sense Susan, soft drinks are cheaper than beer in the Darkhouse, you mostly buy soft drinks but the manager said your blind drunk but then he's saying your not spending enough."

Both Susan and June were both confused to why Susan had been bared. Yet they had both worked out that Susan had been discrimination but John the manager didn't like to say in case he and his business got sused. They both guessed is it was because of Susan's disability. Susan was hurt but accepted the reason why at the same time but she hated been discriminated.

This is based on a true story but the true story is not a bad as the fiction story. It proves that there are all different kinds of discrimination in different situations some are worse than others. I want to make the world aware that anything is possible but some forms of discrimination's are worse than others in different if not all situations.

Farly tale idea for the Writers and Readers group.

Possible ideas for writers in a writing mood. This may or may not interest you. I also have ideas of books for you to read whether you are a writer or not, which is there if you want to go along with it.

Try to think of a world that's not possible to live in, many of us try to guess what life would be like if it was. Think of a world where everything is changing into anything.

Humans living animal lives.

Animals living human lives.

Objects living human or and animal lives.

Books to read.

The Invisible man H'G Wells.

Alison in Wonderland/Through the looking glass. Lewis Caroll.

Black Beauty Anne Sewell.

Alice In Wonderland

When one of the children from Penn Hall school wanted one their Superheroes as Able Mable, I thought myself that I had heard of that character before. Although it's only these days I have started reading more, I never used read much before I had heard about Mable in one story but whether it was Able Mable I'm sure. Now after having finished Black Beauty I'm now reading Alice in Wonderland, which I started last night I read about Mable in their but whether it's Able Mable I don't know.

Granddaddy Who

I was in the sixth form of Penn Hall school twenty - five years ago. I have found it hard to tie my shoe laces all my life, this no fun at all.

Getting ready for swimming and PE was a big nightmare in school.

All of a sudden Mrs Hard shouted at me.

" Come along child, I want everyone in the mini bus!"

I lost my temper because she was in a rush but she wouldn't help me tie my shoe laces.

" Can you help me, please Miss."

" No you should know how to get yourself ready at your age."

Granddaddy Who casted a nasty spell on Mrs Hard with his magic walking stick.

All of a sudden a old man with a bald head with glasses, he was holding a magic walking stick.

He came from just thin air out of the ceiling.

" My name is Granddaddy Who, now Mrs Hard you tie your shoes!"

Mrs Hard jumped out of her skin with shock, as Granddaddy who came down from the the ceiling she came up to the ceiling, she had out gone out of thin air.

"Ow." Screamed Mrs Hard

Granddaddy Who had magic Superhero powers.

Able Mable turned into Marvellous Mable.

Able Mable turned into Marvellous Mable, she had a magic table.

Marvellous Mable made people's dreams come true, at Penn Hall School so long ago.

The magic table turned into a rowing boat that ran down the stream, if you know what I mean.

A fish jumped into the boat as I screamed.
A very heavy rain full came down as a sudden sound and flash of lighting, as I jumped I got soaking wet.
The boat turned into a racing car as I drove very fast, then it turned into a plane, as the plane I blew up into a puff of smoke.

All of a sudden we had gone into thin air.

Marvellous Mable had magical Superhero powers.

Writer's block.

If you want to do a piece of writing and your stuck for ideas what to write, here are ideas that may or may not interested you.

May be you would like to write about a place or a town that means something to you.

architecture, traffic, gardens and the atmosphere.

The neighbourhood and local characters that make the atmosphere.

A building in the town that interests you for whatever reasons.

It could be an old picture house, town hall, church or shop.

Smells, colours and noises.

It may be the country side, landscape, hills wood and etc.

Seaside place you like noises, smells and etc.

It can be set at any time and at place anywhere. ( past present or even something you may picture for the future.) From say millions of years ago to what's happened just this minute.

I moved back to Wolverhampton from Shorpshine and Wales 17 yrs ago. I was on an adult training scheme which was based in Low hill, Fall ens park Wolverhampton. To find the place was a big maze going through 1st Avenue, 2nd Avenue and etc. The strange thing was I just started writing yet without even hearing about the poets such as Keats, Wordsworth and all them there were roads in Fall ens park named after them.

In 1997, I had a very bad relationship break up just as a lot of us do. I was a student at the time studying creative writing and English. During lunch break after a lot of study in the library.I started looking at the poetry books without thinking about it. I picked John Keats I didn't put down until the end it inspired me that much.He wasn't going through anything much to what I was going through at the time.
Before I read his poems, I thought I was the only one going through pain. When I finished reading I found myself having to write, I felt as if so many things that were going through my head, I hadn't said. When I started writing little did I realize my work would turn into poet, this was when I started to feel as if things were coming off my mind and that I was slowly on the mend moving on from my failed relationship.

Due to how my disability used I was slowly learning managed to take information in.
I knew it connected with what I was going through but it was one of early stages of my writing career.

I had a poem written in each of 11 books by a publishers called Poetry Now but my Mother thought they had ribbed me off. I haven't had any luck with publishing since then due to a lack of support. The poems that I did have published on are on this website but I started this website in 2007 so it will mean you looking through three years of work I have done on here.

Here are some possible topics you may be interested in case you want to write today, any time or day. You can write about yesterday's topic if you want, you don't have to follow this in order if you don't want. You don't have to go along with what I say at all, it's there in case it helps you. You don't even have to join the writer's group if don't want.

May be you may want to write about who and or what inspired you to write.

Creating your own superhero, someone who brings out the good.
Someone who saves yours or Someones live.
It can be fiction or non - fiction, true is non - fiction not true is fiction for those who don't know that.

Write a lonely hearts report.

Write something about learning disability, other races and it's history.

At the moment I am reading the diary of Anne. She would have been two years older than my Grandmother.They were both children in world war 2. The war broke out when my Nan was eight, she told me about it when I was eight, which I didn't understand at first due to my disability. As much as I understood that the men died in the war and that we wouldn't have been born if it wouldn't have been for them. This is the reason why people wear poppies. Nan put a poppy on my coat and said.

" This isn't just a flower but a flower of memory."

Wars are hard times for everyone but If Nan had it as bad as Anne Flank, the rest of my family and myself wouldn't be here today. When I read Anne Flank's diary I think of my Nan, as if she was writing a diary because I remember her telling me what growing in the war was like. I don't think Nan had time to keep a diary when she had to look after her seven brothers and sisters while my great Grandparents were working. My Nan was the eldest of eight. Saying that my Nan loved her reading, she'd knit, watch telly, do the crossword, keep an eye on us the Grandchildren at the same time. I thought I could get away with been naughty, little did I know that Nan had eyes at the back of her head.

Today we have computers, Mobile phones, washing machines, inside toilets and etc. There was none of that back then. We moan about today's cutback but for eg; having to go to toilet outside must have been worse. As for the cutbacks, I think we have been a bit too greedy with too much IT, which they didn't have. For eg; it's easy access for us today get help with our sums where as one time we used to have to use our brains. It's now becoming a lazy world, we don't know how lucky we are in someways but in another ways we are unlucky because a lot of the hard times made us stronger people as grow ups strong to life in a lot of ways. For eg; learning to understand right from wrong.

War is a nasty thing, we are all human at the end of day. People understand we can't have it all easy otherwise wouldn't be strong but race make us all different people.
If we were all the same it would a boring world.Some things people are born to be, other things people choose to be, let's not hold these things against them and give them the same rights as everyone in the world. Most people may need support to have their choices, for eg; people with learning disabilities, where there's a will there's a way without taking away peoples' chooses away.

Everyone should have equal rights. Every person is a human beings, the likes of Hitler shouldn't have taken people's rights and lives away from them.

May be you could write a bit of history on any topic you want to write about. It may be worth looking into your family history if that cornets with what your writing about, your choice.

What I have learned from this long week at Penn Hall school is how to please children when they are reading stories. Every child had to create their superhero and story, I just had to put it into the story. I wasn't only adult with disabilities who worked with the children, there adults with all kinds of creative abilities who interested the children to their talents too. It was a great experience for me, I hope it was a great experience for the children. I found Monday morning, may be it was the Monday morning blues with the teenage six form. I had to go through the hows, wheres, whats, whys and etc to help them create their superhero stories in an easy way as possible, we got there in the end, which was no more hard than the other artists had to go through. They didn't seem to understand the differences between real life and protein, I also told them that fiction can be based on truth. It's all confusing in different ways but a lot of us were taught like weren't we? The main thing was they tried their best and did really well, I can really enjoy it and I hope they did. Having had learning disabilities myself I can relate to how my understanding was at that age it wasn't that much different to there's. Even though I'm older now than I wasn't then I haven't forgotten if even thought I have bettered myself over the years, well I hope I have anyway.

What we all have learned in life that not all of us can get on, some situations you may come across in work, school, college and etc. The hardest part was getting to see that in class or work you don't show what's outside. For eg; if one child couldn't get along with the other they thought they could show that in their work. Their teacher even said they find it hard to understand team work and it's not fare on the others who are working with them when there's an unhappy atmosphere.


As I have said On this website is that I have been writing since I was 23 yrs of age, now 41. The great thing was I started to learn to take in what I was reading so I was slowing learning to teach myself to pick up something to read a bit more. Before hand when I tried to read anything the print was too hazy for me or I read it but then found it hard to take it in before I put down whatever I was reading. I understand why I haven't had a great of luck with publishing because I haven't known how to please my reader, it's very hard when you don't see your readers looking at your work. Having Said that even most experience people in talents can't always please their publishers or whoever brings them out to be known in this world or not in the case may be. The real shame is when no one discovers how talented someone is until they die. It's a real shame when someone doesn't see the stand out of the hard work they have done.

If there's anyone does agrees with what I say may be you will agree that a writer's group may be a great to find out what your readers like and don't like. Not everyone whose a reader is a writer so may be there should be a reader's group for non writers as well as writers to find out what the non writers like as well as writers like and dislike from their writers. Sorry if I have confused things there. One of the great things about the Internet is you can do you reply to someones work or you can reply to each others' work. This could be a great way of trying to helping one another or help a writers to know what their readers like to read.

Reading to a point that you have big interest in reading, taking in what you read to get your ideas to write. As long as you understand that your can't copy of someones work. It helps when Your stuck on ideas or and on topic to write about, if their work interests you. You can be inspired by someone who has the same talent as you, normally someone who writes about the same topic as you. You can inspire new people work and they can even inspire even if your talent has been going on longer than theirs, this where I think talent is a wonderful thing and getting together as a group in your work is a great way of getting know one another. Some people learn quicker than others for eg; someone who hasn't learned about talent not as long as you may have learned something very quickly what you didn't and should have known a long time ago. Never feel ashamed about that because different teachers have different teaching skills and they know about at different times and some things one never knows.

Reader's and Writer's group on Facebook.

WHAT'S GOING THROUGH YOUR MIND?

As a person with learning disabilities, I understand that it's hard to get the same rights as everyone else. Although all readers or and writers are more than welcome to join the group whether they have disabilities or not. Only two rules I have is that I will not have any discrimination in this group and you must have interest in reading or and writing.I must remind people that no one is force to do what they don't want to do. The group is there for people who want to be there as long as they have a reading and or writing interest.

I am very sorry about the changes but I am hoping it will give readers or and writers more choice and to make people feel like human beings. I'm so sorry if the changes have affected anyone. The idea of this isn't just to share your writiing with others in the group but also what you read if you want. You don't have to be writer to share what you read just as long as have an interest in any knowledge at all. Whether it's from books, newspapers, magazines and etc. If writing is also your interest if you share your work with the group may be you can tell us where your writing is or where it's going to go, book, magazine, newspaper or and etc. Now the group is turning into a Reader's group as well as a Writer's group, I may be able to help the members with things to do with reading and as well to do with writing if you ask.

May be a lot of us need support to get our work on paper right but we do have thoughts running through our head just like everyone else.
We need to tell the world that we are human beings just like they are.
Thoughts that go through our minds could be anything, we could find them hard to talk about or and they could take too long to talk about.
Most of us for whatever reason would rather write than speak.
When it comes to some people can't speak, people tend to think that they can't think.
That's not true when it comes to using the right communication aids to find out and someone to write their thoughts for them.
Some people who can't speak may be able to write.

Every ones' needs are different but somehow with the right support it shouldn't take people's wants away.
This is why I am setting this is why I am setting up the Readers and Writers group on Facebook to give people the chance to communicate in their way.
To be able to share their thoughts with other readers and or writers with people with and without disabilities in stories, poems and or however you want.
If you are interested or you know someone who is please email me on either sarajgorman@googlemail.com or Facebook sarajgorman@gmail.com

What are learning disabilities?

There all kinds of disabilities in all kinds of people.
Some people one disability others have a lot more than one.
Disabilities can be physical or and mental depending on the cause and when they happened, which could before, during or after birth.
Mental disabilities affect the brain and physical disabilities affect the body.
Some people have Mental and Physical disabilities, others have one or the other and some have both.
Disabilities affect your everyday life by slowing your brain and body down, which can make it hard for you to learn.
Most people think people with disabilities are thick because we take longer to learn than they do but at end of the day we get there in the end.
Slower the job better the job.
Most things in life aren't possible without support so most rights are taken away from people with disabilities because we haven't got the right support or none at all.
Learning disabilities can affect everyday lives in different ways depending on the people who are having to cope with learning disabilities.
For example cooking, shopping, washing, bathing , dressing; work, education, employment, making friends, relationships and etc.
These are things that people can forget that most people can't cope with because they can.
People with disabilities can be the odd ones out of society because we need extra help than other people with different things.
How can you help people with disabilities to have the same rights as you do with the right support by our choices of life. Email me on sarajgorman@googlemail.com

My Up to Date Learning Disability Awareness

Everyone has to cope with the down part of life losing a job, reationship breakdown and etc. If something meant a lot to you, when you lose it you can become so unhappy it makes you ill. More often than not when one thing goes wrong the other does. This can cause everyone anxiety, stress and depression as it is but what if it's already there inside you without anything and everything to make sad all at once? You can be more ill than someone without Health problems and disabilities. If anything or and everything is hard for you please email me on sarajgorman@googlemail if you need someone to talk to.

I would like to raise awareness of Anxiety, Stress and Depression within people with all Disabilities and all Health problems. There are many things in people's minds that have happened to them but they are frightened to say in fear of not been able to explain ourselves, been misunderstood and disbelieved. I would also like to raise awareness of Learning Disability Hate Crime mainly rape ans sexual abuse, which can be a very hard topic for people to talk about, mainly people with disabilities and Health problems. This can damage our minds mainly when there are bad things that happened to us years ago than we have tried to tell or frightened of not been able to explain ourselves. People need to listen to people like us more but not force information out of us because the more bad things stop in our minds the more damaged our minds becomes.

This can happen to children whether they have disabilities and Health problems or not but if you have these problems already with everyday problems on top your misunderstood for life then. This is where people with disabilities and Health problems need to educate the world to understand us otherwise our minds will never be believed, listened to or understood. Society should have more time for us. This can be due to a lack of communication and understanding. Please google Accessible information Easy read. sarajgorman@googlemail.com for your views on this topic.

Listen to people's voices and minds more.

When I was a little girl I never knew about child abuse and rape but it still happened to me. It's very scarley and hard to talk about but it can damage your mind. No matter how hard to you try nothing seems to make you feel better. I understand there are plenty of people all ages who have been through the same as me and I know it's not easy or nice to talk about but big it can have big affects on your lives that the world doesn't see. When I was little today's support wasn't heard of so you had to be strong whether anyone knew not, in many cases not because these things were very rarely heard of or even seen. Theses things do happen, you can use your voice if you want but listen someone more if they use their voice. I know there's plenty of you like me, if you want to be listened to please email me on sarajgorman@googlemail.com

There's all kinds of abuse but sexual abuse and rape is the wrost.
Take more time to listen to children, people with disabilities and Mental Health problems sadly it does happe it should be listened, even better it should stop.
Please let's be heard not just seen.

These things can have a affect on your life. You can go through the same things as someone else but it may not have the same affects on you as it does on them for example.

Sleepness nights because it's hard to get off your mind, nightmares and flashbacks, not wanting to face the next day because your scared of it happening tomorrow, reationships and friendships towards people, poor self - estream, eating disorders, scared to tell anyone and many more. If anything has damaged your life like those examples I have given you are welcome to email me if you want. sarajgorman@googlemail.com

Never think of yourself as a victim, you are a brave survivor. If your like me you lived in a time without any support, you had to counsel your own mind in order to get through everyday, which is hard to do. I remember wanting to run away from school but scared of it happening while I was outside the school. Many times in boarding school I have wanted to ring my Mum to tell her why I was so unhappy there but I didn't know how to. Remember not wanting to live anymore but somehow got over that.That's another way it can make you feel is empty but I am glad I have coped because I have achieved so many good things in life passing my exams in college, helping others like myself and etc. Never the less a childhood history like that through young adulthood is a lot to put behind but you just think about good things you have in life. I am very glad I haven't got children because I wouldn't be relaxed but a very worried Mother.

Poetry update.

You are never happy.

You spent so long trying to get me out of your life, that's what it felt like to me.
Now that I have gone you miss me, you don't what you have lost until you have lost it.
At the time you really hurt me but I really loved you.
Now that I am out of your life, I don't love you anymore.
I know you want me back in your life.
I have know you long enough to know whatever happens your never happy with.
You have lost my love, you only have yourself to blame. 26.9.2010

Things on your mind.

There can be things on your mind all the time.
Most of the time you think of things that happened a long time ago.
No matter how hard you try to blank these thoughts out you never forget.
These are very often things that are hard to talk about and explain yet never understood.
We can feel frightened to say anything at all.
For me it happened at school.
A lot of people told me it was all in my mind but it's always there never forgotten no matter how hard I try to forget.
Why has it been there all my life, yet I have tried so hard to blank it out?
I have learning disabilities, I don't have the same understanding as other people yet I'm not alone in the world anymore, I never was, I only thought I was alone. 30.9.2010

Unheard voice.

When you have learning disabilities, you are always children in the eyes of society.
Nothing has seemed to have changed, I guess it never will but it still seems as if not a lot has changed in the last 30 years or more, that's not been understood or listened to.
After not been listened to, understand or believed by adults when I was a child.
It carried on far too long into my young adult years.
I guess I never got heard because of my learning disabilities.
It's as if people knew that I wasn't suppose to know anything but I knew I had been hurt in some way, explaining it was hard.
I knew nothing but a long true nightmare that I still can't get out my head from the age of seven upwards, now I am 41.
This happened to me more than once and more than one person.
It's just so hard to explain, which not a lot has changed when it first began.
It happened so long ago.
I shouldn't try to tell because I don't know what happened yet I don't forget.
It doesn't make any sense but strange as it sounds it's true that strange unexpected things even now still come out of the blue. 30.9.2010

Time to go to bed.

It was time to go to bed, us girls chatted for a while.
The Housemother told us off to get to sleep ready for school the next morning.
My mind was full of unexplained stress that I wasn't suppose to know yet it happened to me.
It was no good telling the kids, they weren't suppose to know either.
We were little children little babies who were learning about life yet there was very little to learn at that time.
Everyone fell a sleep all but not me, I wasn't the best of sleepers anyway but all what I didn't understand was playing on my mind I was far too young to know but I should have known what happened, it was too hard understand and tell anyone.
I wasn't just a child, I was a child with learning disabilities.
I held my ginger German teddy bear named Hands, I felt so alone.
Every time I tried to sleep I could hear and see the big evil moister attacking me.
I lay there thinking how I was going to tell grown ups but I didn't have a clue.


It's hard to talk.

I just cried all night.
Every time I faced a child, I felt so alone in the world.
I kept hoping it wasn't happening to any other child but then it made it even harder to explain myself if it wasn't.
It was no good telling them because they weren't suppose to know or understand either.

Not able to understand what happened to you is a very strange nasty feeling, just these unforgotten unexplained things going inside your mind.
It can never be a lie if it's never forgotten, I only wish it was because It wouldn't be there to haunt you for life.
It happened every school I went to, I was unaware of whether it was happening to other children or not until we were adults.
Before I knew it was happening to other children as well me, I thought I was having nightmares, hearing and or seeing things in my mind.
We were just far too young to know and understand what was going on.
I have met many people who I went to school with during adult they have been through the same things in the same schools.
I wasn't alone after all I just didn't know that a lot of the children went through it too.
It's haunted us all our lives, even today, it's hard to explain.
If you know what I'm taking about and it's happened to you, I'm willing to help you if you want someone to talk to on sarajgorman@googlemail.com 30.9.2010

Time to listen to children.

Time to listen to children, you never know what you are going to hear.
You can't be there with children twenty - four hours a day so you can't say what they tell is or isn't true.
If a child goes on about the same thing a lot, then it's true, something needs to be done.
Children need to be listened to, this is the same for people with disabilities and Health problems all ages.
It's time to listen carefully and take more time with people who take to be understood and heard otherwise could be disbelieving something that really happened.
Take more time to understand all human beings.
They could be telling you something that has happened but will damage the rest of their lives if nothing has been done about it.
This could damage their minds like it has damaged mine, don't let that happen to them.
We all know that most kids can tell lies but if somethings can be tried to be said once too often enough and is serious, that's the time to listen and take action that will help to be happy again. sarajgorman@googlemail.com 30.9.2010


You only live once.

Do anything you want this could be your only or last chance in life.
Help someone who wants to give things a go, it could be there only and last chance too.
Help someone who needs more help than you.
Remember it could have been you if not them.
Don't let theirs and your chances slip.

There's nothing worse than been left out, how would like to give something a go but no one is there to help you if you need help?
Everyone looks at you at if you are squib and thick, that's not the case you just need a bit more help than most people.
Your left out because it seems as if the rest of the world can have a normal life, you can't. ( What's normal at the end of the day?)
What are we missing out on?

Crashing cars and screaming kids is something we can do without but what's missing is looking in the mirror everyday seeing another you.
See how different and better life can be for your child than it was for you, not to say that life was all bad and all good for you.

There seems to be full of lovers, you feel like your boyfriend's child when you need more help than others rather than his girlfriend. (You feel useless when your relationship breaks up.)

There are too many benefit traps around jobs but the world is a very lonely place without a career, study and work.

You feel left out when know you help from them but what they realise is what is like to need more help unless learning disabilities and Mental Health problems happen to them.

Things that happened a long time ago are always in your head.
The memories are always there but words never really come out to be understood or even said.
So you see faces and hear voices inside your head.
No one understands unless it happens to them.
The world looks at you really strange, whatever you have said and or listened to doesn't make sense.
They think your nuts because you don't make sense to them.
No, they are nuts because it doesn't make sense to you.

You try to grab life with both hands but people are in your faces all the time when don't need but no one is really there to give you a helping hand when you do need it.
You want to give it a go because you are only on the earth once so why were we born at all?
At least you have tried if you haven't succeed.

My real Father isn't my Father, I haven't know him long enough he's my friend.
He doesn't know a great deal about my life so he's the only one in the family doesn't know me. 2th October 2010


Get by.

Times are rather hard, money is tight, even though you don't get a lot of chance to hold me tight, still we're happy enough.
It's not just money problems it's other things in my life too but no worries it's not you.
I've been through good and bad before, I will get by just like I've always have done.
Not sleeping well but over tried with things on my mind.
Somehow I'll manage my work.
I'm worried about losing my work and business.
I will either run the business with support or not all.
My work means a lot to me so do you, even though I don't have enough private time with you.
Strangely I miss you even though I see you.
There's so much to tell you but very litte time to say it. 2nd October 2010

Rape, rape.

Rape rape has damaged my mind.
Rape has riped me up for 33yrs but not all my life has been black and white.
Memories are still there but thankfully now flashbacks and nightmares are very little compared to what they used to be.
From the age of a 7 year old child it happened until I was a 33 year old woman.
I have tried so hard to blank it out but it hasn't been easy.
It has been hard to explain, which is why I never got understood or believed.
It shouldn't surprise me that none would understand.

Our eyes are our doors.

Our eyes are our doors, we close and open.
We never know what nights and days are until our eyes that are doors are open.
Sometimes we can't close our eyes that are doors at all when too much is on our minds about things we may and should and shouldn't know.
Sometimes we are only told half the story, we may have to wait until tomorrow comes, forever or not at all.
Some days and nights are different.
Other days and nights are all the same.
Some things have to start and finish but others don't happen at all.
Other things stay as they are, whether it's Good bad life is life sometimes for a good reason other times for a bad.
Sometimes tomorrow is known other times it's unknown, sometimes it's better off unknown but most of the time it needs to be known.
At times life can be cure thins happen that shouldn't.
Life is what you make but not everything happens by our choice, which doesn't leave us completely free.
When it comes to the government no one is free but no one is completely naughty.
We all need some control but not over controlled.
To be fare the world needs a balance so nothing is too fare or too unfair, which never seems to happen. 4.10.10

Open our doors open our eyes.

Good morning time, there's very little freedom for us all.

Open our doors open our eyes.
The world is a mess in so much debt, we have been too greedy.
Now the world is losing money so one day it will all come to an end.
The future is unknown.
As one door closes another one opens.
Hello, to the good, goodbye to the bad.
Hello, to the bad, goodbye to the good.
That's the way life always is and that all it ever can be. 4.10.10

Close our doors close our eyes.

We need to clear out of our minds before we can close our doors and eyes on the old thoughts to bring new thoughts.
We mustn't worry about a thing, otherwise we could be bringing something bad into something good.
How can you feel good at the same time as feeling bad but somehow we do?
Sooner or later you need to be getting out of the bad to get into the good, we shouldn't mix good and bad but it seems to happen.
Nothing is good all the while, things may be either a little rough or crash for life.
The world used to be beautiful, we had very little war and very little crime was notice at time.
It good to know that we notice more crime but bad to know it happens, ever badder to know that it happen and wasn't notice.
Some many things in life weren't notice a long time ago but more and more is notice now.
A never ending story and a never ending poem.
Making plans for the future without even knowing what the future is going be or not even realizing that there may not be any future.
Never make plans let the future be.
No safety in the world.
No surprise to anyone when there's too much crime by people who don't do their time, too much and greed with money that's going going gone.
We need help to understand life, what is it about?
Why were we born, why do we die?
Why are we here in the first place?
Let the rain be sunshine, Sunshine be rain.
Not too cold not too hot.
Let there be safety not danger. 4.10.10


You mean the world.

When I first met you, I didn't know who you were.
I was going through far too much pain from my last relationship to be aware of the rest of the world around me.
I was too numb with pain to love and to know I was loved, love was the last thing I thought would happen again.

When I started talking to you I felt good but I had no idea that you felt more for me than just a friend.

I was far too hurt to know what the future was going to bring to any part of life.
It was a big surprise to find out that you were interested in me, that's one of the reasons I didn't go for it right away, it's also the fact I didn't know you and as I say the pain I was going through with the last heart break.
I didn't expect someone to pain interest in me so sudden that's why I was unsure.

Since then my feelings have just got stronger but I'm now scared in case my feelings are too strong for you, it's not just about my feelings, it's about yours too.
If you wouldn't have never paid interest in me, I would have kept how I felt to myself in fear that you may have not been interested or and you could have been with someone already.
I wouldn't have wanted to spoil your happiness if you were taken for already just because my happiness came to an end.

Now that I'm with you, I will be truthful to say that I don't want to lose you.
That's why I keep trying not to build my hopes up but that's not an easy thing to do with a lovely guy like you, you can never be sure that anything is for life but never say never.
I don't want to make you feel as if you are force to be with me.
I must be brave and strong, I'm a middle aged woman now, I have been through enough heart aches and disappointment but I can't take anymore.
When I first met you I had been going through a heart break for two years.
Sorry I didn't say yes right away, my head was just all over the place.

Sorry if I have misunderstood your feelings towards me, I will move on If I have misunderstood you.
I don't want to step in your way, tread on on your toes, be around when I'm not wanted and so on.
I don't want to make you want me if you don't want me.
I understand that it's not all about me, your feelings count too but I would be lier if I said I don't love you.
If you don't feel for me the same way as I do about you, I have to live with it and be strong. 10.10.10


Love and pain.

You can't walk away from love until you don't love.
Falling in love is easy but walking away from pain is hard.
It's very hard to put peoples' feelings a side when they don't feel the same as they do.
Different people walk into your life, make out they love you, leave you and break your heart.
Love and pain seems like a never ending thing when it's long but knocks you to sick when it breaks. 10.10.10

Why do I love you?

Why do I love you?
If only I knew why, only how handsome, kind, a understanding gentleman
you are.
Why do I put myself through so much pain?
Here I am again!
I took so long to get over the last person who broke my heart.
If I love someone I can't walk away altogether but I can't force someone to love me if they don't love me. 10.10.10

What's going on?

Is there still you and me?
Many thoughts go round my head because we don't get a lot of private time together.
I will put my feelings to side and think of yours instead, I understand it's not all about me, it's about you as well, that's how I want it to be.
Whatever makes you happy makes me happy but sad deep down.
Stay where you are if that's what you want, I'm here as long as you want me.
You will never lose my friendship, our future is unknown.
May be I worry too much, I don't want to jump the gun but then I don't want to put a trap on your life.
I don't want to hope too much and I don't want to make you think that you have to feel the same about me as I do about you.
I am not going to lie, my feelings are very strong towards you.
I am preparing myself just in case I lose your love.
No matter how many heart breaks I have, I will keep on loving but not when I am still in love.
May be I won't anymore feel the warmth of your arms close to mine.
May be I won't feel the way you used to hold me so close anymore.
May be it's a long time coming, we may get there in the end.
We may not get there at all but I'm there for you as long as you want me to be.
If you do feel the same way about me as I do about you, then you are worth as long as the wait takes even if it's forever more.
10.10.10

Here you go again!

You loved me twice.
You dumped me twice.
Now you want me back again.
How many chances do you want?
You've hurt me a lot more than once.
I thought I would never stop loving you but finely I walked away.
You will never stop me from moving on how I want to despite the pain you have put me through.
It's not my fault that you didn't love me when I loved you.
You've been playing nasty games with my mind.
Now it's too late, you only have yourself to blame.
I always thought you loved me but I believe now that I was wrong.
You don't love me, you only love yourself.
You are only saying you love me because I'm not in your life anymore. 10.10.10


Good friends.

You are a good friend, I only wish you could be more.
You have been great support.
You were there for me not long after he broke my heart.
You helped me to strong enough to carry, I thank you.
Without your support I would have let him put a hold on my life.
There's still a lot of damage inside me to clear but slowly I'm getting there.
It will still take me a long time before I start feeling really good about myself again but you make me feel even better. 10.10.10

The loser.

Once I thought you were the man for me but now I'm glad it didn't turn out to be.
People told me that you weren't the man for me but I didn't listen to a word they said to me.

I thought I knew it all.
Now I realize that I'm better off without you.
I don't even want to see you, you hurt me that much.
I wish I never met and loved you.
I wish I never gave you a second chance after you left me the first time.
Now that I don't love you anymore, I can't believe that I ever did loved you at all.
The more I loved you the more you hurt me.


Now that I don't love you anymore, you don't hurt me anymore.
Nothing ever matched between us, it was wrong for us to fall in love.
You knew I loved you so much but it too me years to realize that you didn't love me.
Now I don't love you anymore, you make out you love me because you have no one hurt anymore.

I was too blind to realize that your love for me was a lie and even still is and always will be.
I had put up with your trickily mind games too many years far too long.
If you treat anyone else like you treated me, you will spend the rest of your life alone.
One day someone will hurt you like you hurt me, then it will hit you hard.

You always played tricks with my mind.
One minute you loved me the next you didn't.
I can't believe I ever was a your victim of hate and love for so long.
You used to give me wonderful dreams and nasty nightmares but not always at the same time.

Butterflies flow and swam through my stomach when you made me feel good.
Panic attacks would go through all over my body when you made me feel bad.
My stomach would turn over as if I was on a very fast fairground ride.
You may have broken my heart but whatever my future is to be, I'm glad to say that I don't want to be with you anymore you see.
Despite of the damage you have put me through, you will never stop me from doing what I want to do,which has nothing to do with you. 31.10.10

Changes.

Time to let there is to be.
Time for peace.
Not to hope expect anyyhing at all.
Never say it will ever end.
Let the damaged past mend.
Getting to know one's self all over again.
Believe in one's self.
It will take one's own time to feel one's self again.
Too soon for heavy love.
There's no harm in friendly love.
Companionship from one whose been through the same as one.
One becomes two of us me and you.
We're not the first who have been hurt, we won't be the last.
It's tremendous to be independent but to be faithful.
We all make mistakes how many of us learn from them?
My mistakes have been loving men who have hurt me but I guess we have both been as bad as one another.
I just got too close to them and I hoped for too much.
Now it's time to take it easy, one isn't getting any younger but I admit my feelings for you are getting stronger. 4.11.10

My secert lover.

May be I don't show my feelings towards you, may be you do know how I feel towards you.
There are too many people around us and I am scared in case I frightened you away.
I can't stop thinking about you.
I know you like me but I like you more and more.
I know I didn't say right away, I didn't expect you to pay interest in me.
I was still getting over the last love who is no love.
Facing you is hard when I know how I feel but I get by.
We just need to carry taking our time just like we have been doing and keeping it quite.
Even our time to together when if we get it together.
It comes to those who wait as long as it takes. 4.11.10


Sorry John, I didn't mean to hurt you.

It was his 17th birthday some time in June 2001, It was a very hot evening.
The windows of the Flying Dutchman pub, Warstones, Wolverhampton was streaming or I may have been dreaming.
When me and my ex partner were a couple, One that very night we were outside in the beer garden walking around smoking a cigarette.

Even though the pub has been closed down quite a few years this memory still stands in my mind.
I gave Antonio his second chance to love me again he hurt after he hurt me before, I thought I knew it all.
I thought he loved me better the second time better than the first time, I was wrong.
Now that I don't have feelings for him anymore, he now makes out he loves me again but I'm no foal to to him no more.


I was blind to see that he didn't give a dam about this 17 year old boy who winked his eye at me as if to say hi.
I wouldn't have wanted a problem between Antonio and John.
Little did I realized that Antonio didn't love me for me.


I felt so ashamed not feeling the same as what he did.
He was such a nice young man, I guess still is.
Having been an older woman I would still felt feelings of shame whatever would have happened.


I don't think he knew nothing about love.
I didn't know enought about love but I should have done.
I should have known better.

I could see him trying not to stare as sweat was pumped out of him everywhere, poor lad.
He started to worry me as he made me nervus when he was looking at me.
As my heart begain to race and I almost in a panic attack.
sweat started to pump out of me too.
I was hoping he'd walk away from where I was.
He walked up closely to me.
He looked at me as if he wanted to speak but he didn't know what to say.
His face went bright red with shyness.


I felt so ashame that I didn't feel the same way but I still would have felt ashamed if I did.
I had too much respeat for him to lie or and lead him.
I just only hope he has met a nice girl a lot younger than me.
He was lovely all the same.
Even thought we didn't get together.
I still feel as if I should have known better.


Now those ten years have gone by.
I still feel full of guilt and regret.
If things would have been the opposite I would have still felt the same.

I hope the fact that we didn't get together saved us a lot of heart ache towards one another.
Some things we don't like happen for the best.
May be it wasn't to be.
May be I did or didn't do the right thing after all.
He may have now lost interest in me in the end.
He may hate me for not giving him the experince he may have wanted.
He might repected me for been honest with him.
I hope have I made myself understood.

The only way I feel pain is wishing I was his age.
What scars me is the fact that he may have more sense than me.

I knew who he was, his name was John.
I knew his Mum and Dad.
I felt so ashamed for not feeling the same as him.
He was such a nice young man.
Whatever I would have became of me and John I would have felt as if I wasn't doing the right thing.

I am not been nasty I would like to be someone's lover not Mother or Daughter.
I used to be friends with his Mother but we ended falling out.
She wasn't that many years older me.
If only I was the same age as him knowing what I knew at the time or even better what I know today at the age of 41.
I felt so luckey to have been loved by someone so young.
Knowing that he felt this way towards me he made me feel like his age at that time all over again.

This may not make sense but I forgot what it felt like to be 17.
If only I knew at 17 what I knew 31.
If only I knew at 31 what I know now at 41.
I was so old he was so young.

I felt so luckey to have been loved by someone so young, it bought back my youth again.
At the same time it made me feel ashamed however I felt.
I knew I had to control how I felt, I didn't feel it was right older woman having feelings for a teenage boy.
I still wouldn't have felt as if I had done right.


What did he want with an old fool like me?
I was 31 old enought to be his Mum.
In the end she hated me.
She blamed me for fansying her son when it was the other way round.
I don't think she believed me, she should have done when she knew I had a partner already. 21.11.2010

Chapter five, Break up

For six mouths Jacky had been stopping with different friends here, there and everywhere. She hadn't seen Mark since he kicked her out of his flat. It caused her one big mess with her benefits and everything. Mark's promises and lies also lost her child and bought her load of depression on before and after the birth because she had the child taken off.

The birth had come and gone far too quickly. It was unknown to Jacky whether she had a girl or a boy because she knew she wasn't going to see he or she. The baby was taken away from her so quickly at New Cross hospital Wolverhampton. Jacky managed to get her own room so she didn't have to see other Mothers holding their babies. Jacky broke down and cried.Even though she didn't want to give the baby up, she felt guilty for giving he or she up. There wasn't enough support to get her a home and help her to look after the baby. Her friends Karen and Hana who didn't have disabilities offered to support her but she felt as if she was putting a block on their lives, Social services didn't allow it anyway.

It was only a mouth after the child was born that Social services didn't let Jacky know what had happened to the child. Other that the fact Jacky was shocked to find out Mark was putting the child in and out of care, which she wasn't very happy about. Jacky broke down in tears, as she spoke to Jeanette with Jet black hair in a pony tail, she wore a brown and cream striped jumped.

" How could you all let this happen, I knew I was going to lose my baby but it's just as unsafe to give he or she up to a drunk Father."

" Jacky he may be drunk but he doesn't have disabilities."

" Mark's drunkenness is his own fault, my disabilities aren't."

" The baby won't be fed Jennette, Mark will drink the money away."

" Sorry Jacky that's the way it goes,I have no control what happens, you look after yourself now."

" He is the Father of the child, Jacky."

" I'm the Mother of the child, he can do something about his drinking, I can't do anything about my disabilities, how does anyone think that makes me feel?"

" Just because I can't look after my child, it doesn't mean I don't worry like any other Mother, in fact I worry more."

"People think because I have disabilities, I don't have feelings, cause I do, I'm human like everyone else you know!"

In the end Jennette just walked but at the same she felt useless, she so wanted to help Jacky but she just had to do her job. Everything Jacky had said Jennette she was right, that's what hurt the most.

It turned out that Jacky started drinking heavy herself but she wouldn't have done if she would have had support to have and keep her child. It was a long depressing road until Jacky got back to her happy self and again. She couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel. She had good and bad days. It affected her that baby, she was on the verge of taking her own life.

Jacky, Karen and Hana had a long day shopping, which started off a good day for Jacky. Shop until they dropped, they called it. Walking into Beatles car park at 5.00pm. Jacky started to feel unwell and sad again. Karen and Hana couldn't believe Jacky's change of mood suddenly at the end of the day. Jacky had suffered depression for quite a few years before then.

" What's wrong with you, Jacky we've had a good laugh today?" said Karen

Jacky didn't answer as she started to feel dizzy but it didn't stop her from hanging her head over Beatles car park as her long blond hair came down. Jacky screamed as millions of people froze as they stared. Hana and Karen were trying to stop her but Jacky was having none of it.

" I don't care, I'm going down now, good bye everyone."

" Don't go, Jacky." cried Karen

Someone outside the car park called the police, as Hana tried to walk Jacky to the car but she kept kicking off and screaming.

" Are you alright, Madam?"

" This is unnecessary sir, we have it under control." said Hana

Jacky was still kicking screaming and shouting.

" Calm down, madam." said the Policeman

Jacky calmed down when she wanted to.

Hana took no notice of Jacky, she just managed somehow to put her in the car. In the mean time Karen had a word with Jacky.

" What's wrong with you today, we started to have a good day?"

Jacky didn't answer.

" Calm down Jacky, breath in and out, you will be home soon."

Suddenly there came Mark as soon as he saw Jacky, he set Beatles car park on fire with a petrol bomb, as Hana and Karen tried getting Jacky in the car. Jacky knew then she had to get the car as fast she could as Hana and Karen rang the police. Hana and Karen knew they had to get the car as fast as they could for all their safeties. Drivers froze before they got into their car as flames rised up. People were pan icing and screaming inside and out the car park. Mark was shouting at Jacky accusing her of having the baby when she hadn't. She didn't even know what sex her child was. Mark got into his car as fast as he could with his car on fire as he drove fast through the town to Wednesfield Canal right through the water, then down to the Cannock road until the police caught as he was arrested. Police, firemen and ambiances were driving everywhere. 20 people dead through the fire and thirty people injured.

" Where's my child, Jacky?"

Jacky couldn't believe to see Mark there, she couldn't believe what she heard him say. This was the last thing Jacky needed as she was only just coming to terms with losing everything she ever what would happen. The lies that Mark made out to be true.

" Get away Mark!" said Hana

" Jacky is in this state only because of you, Mark." said Karen

This was were Jacky got inside the car because she didn't have anything to say to Mark. This was were he set the petrol bomb because he didn't get his own way. Hana had never drove as fast in her driving as she did that night.

Everything was fine until they got home, as Hana got out of her car, Jacky started kicking off in front of the neighbours. It got so tense that Hana and Karen were getting very strange looks. In the end Jacky tried to calm down as soon as Karen and Hana told her they didn't want her in prison.

Chapter Three Next Date

A week had passed yet again. Saturday mid morning early afternoon, Mark finely got round to calling Jacky. Mark hadn't long got up as he ate his fri up and strong cup of coffee.

" Good afternoon, Jacky what do you Fancy doing today?"

" Good afternoon, Mark I don't mind Mark as long as I am with you."

" What about meeting in the Moon Under Water?"

" Well it is a little noise in there Mark, hard to get a seat and to hear yourself speak."

" True Jacky but we can give a go and move somewhere if that's the case."

" Everywhere is busy on a Saturday Mark."

Jacky thought it would be nice just to pick a pizza and bottle to have at her place or his. On the other hand she thought it too early days yet, she didn't know what to do for the best.

" What about 7.00pm, Jacky?"

" That sounds fine Mark."

Mark had come up with idea of texting and phoning one another because of buses not always been on time. What made it even worse on that Saturday was that the Wolves match was on, which slowed the traffic down. Despite of that 559 was rather early for a Saturday night, which left Jacky waiting quite a while for Mark.
The wild wind was blowing litter everywhere, as Jacky phoned Mark to tell him that she was on her way into town.

" Are you already on the bus, Jacky?"

" I am just about to get on, Mark."

" Don't because I could be ages yet, I'm still waiting for the bus."

" Go back home, wait a while, I'll call you when I'm in town, I'll book a taxi for you and I'll pay for it."

" Oh thank you, Mark."

Jacky took a brisk walk home. The wild wind and dust blew everywhere, as Jacky blew her Norse. Old school friends tried to stop to chat to her as it was a case of hello and good bye, she didn't know how long Mark was going to take to contract her again. Jacky promised her friends that she'd call them. It was at least half an hour to an hour when Mark text ed her to tell her that he was finely in town.

As Jacky got out of the taxi, people outside the Moon Under Water stood begging Jacky for cigarettes and money as Mark got hold of hard to walk her to side of the pub.

It was 8.30pm to 8.45pm, the pub was packed out. Jacky right about not been able to get a seat or speak. The bar was also packed, they only just about got served. Jacky drank Bankness Mild and Matter drank bitter, they stood up. They popped out for a cigarette. They both felt packed like sardines in the pub. Jacky was too polite to complaint about not liking packed pubs.

" This no good Jacky, we can't speak in there."

" Well I told you this will happen Mark, what now?"

" Your place or mine, Jacky."

" Mine because my bus is quicker than yours."

" What about picking up a pizza and a bottle of wine, Jacky?"

" Oh that sounds good, Mark because there's no where quiet on a Saturday night."

" We should have waited until tomorrow really, hay we can still out tomorrow, can't we Jacky would you like that?"

" Oh that sounds great Mark."

It was hard to have a date in such a noise atmosphere plus it wasn't private, which they should have thought about in the first place.

They only had to wait a few minutes for the bus as Jacky scanned her Disabled bus passed and Mark paid £1.70. Mark bought a bottle of wine from Jacky's local pub called the Tiger as Jacky paid for the pizza in the Fish and Chip shop down the road.

" Red or white wine, Madam!"

" White wine, please Mark."

It had been a long evening but everything happened so quickly not that they wanted to rush into things but they picked a very busy night in the pub. They had learned a lot of things from one another. Jacky thought Mark had learned a lot about her LD, was she right or wrong? They were taking their time, Mark didn't want to push Jacky into anything she wanted to do. They looked on the bright side that night, at least they saved a little more money. Mark stopped night but there was no bedroom contract at that point.

Home Date

When they got to Jacky's flat, Jacky dished out the pizza as Mark poured out the wine.

" Jacky, you are just who I am looking for and I found her, you."

" That's very nice to know, Mark." as Jacky laughed not believing what she had just heard.

" I love your long Blondie hair, blue eyes and there's something about brown leather jackets I like too."

" Your a very strange man, Mark."

" I know I am, Jacky."

The pair sat down to eat.

" Nice cheese and tomato pizza, didn't you make it yourself Jacky?"

" Very funny Mark, you know I didn't."

both of them laughed

Mark asked Jacky her age.

" How old are you, Jacky?"

" I'm 27, Mark."

" You look a lot younger than than that but 27 is younger enough."

" What's that suppose to mean, Mark?" Jacky laughed

" It's nice to be told that I look young but I don't want to be too young to go in pubs."

" Sorry Jacky, I am not very good at dates, I am just thinking about something to say."

" Your doing alright, so far Mark."

Both of them laughed.

" You are a very interesting looking guy with your shiny flicked back hair, leather jacket and those lovely brown eyes".

Mark's eyes raised broadly as he kissed Jacky.

" How old are you Mark?"

" 37, Jacky."

" I love men who are more grown up, they all silly my age."

" Believe me, I am not grown up, Jacky."

" Is there anything else I need to know about you, Mark?"

" I don't have a very interesting history, other than I am guitarist who can't sing, that's why I couldn't make fame."

" Oh never Mind, Mark, you win some you lose some."

The look on Mark's face was sad because he really wanted be famous but he just rised above it.It hurt Mark very much when he lost his music career. He was turned down just because he couldn't sing.

I used to be a fireman for a short while but then at 5.8 in height, they realized I wasn't tall enough."

" I was a bit too small to slide down the pole so that wasn't good enough for them, that was another career I was very hurt to lose."

They both took a deep breath.

" Wow, Mark it's shame it didn't last." as Jacky smile

" I wish I had my guitar on me, I would have played you a few cores."

" That's ok, may be next time Mark."

" I write poetry, Mark may be I can help you write your songs."

" No as I said I can't sing."

" No worries Mark I lost my Creative writing course through the cutback."

" May be I can look out for something you want to do with writing, Jacky."

" Oh thanks, Mark."

" I keep getting turned down for jobs because of my disabilities or they give me the boring jobs sweeping floors."

As they both laughed together.

" I wasn't good looking enough good looking enough to be a Fireman, Jacky."

" Of course you were and still are." as she laugh

" Oh thanks, Jacky." as he smiled

" What do you do now, Mark?"

" I'm just a boring old car fixer, does that put you off?"

" No of course not, Mark." as Jacky laughed

Suddenly they both started to feel a bit sleepy and drunk as they both fell asleep on the settee.

Chapter One Speed Dating without Speed Dating.

It was 6.00pm when Mark Jones was wondering around the City streets of Wolverhampton on a wet rainy evening. It was rough cold and wildly. His jet black curly hair and leather jacket was soaked to the skin. Mark had a long bad day at work when he didn't normally work on a Saturday. Never the less he still had a look around to see where he could find a good pint of beer, he just took luck.

It was 7.00pm when Mark walked into the Lighthouse. Mark was a unknown person, he came from West Brom.

Mark spoke to the barmaid who also had jet black hair but in a bun. She had told there was a Speed dating event for people with learning disabilities just about to start. Mark thought it sounded fun even though he didn't have LD himself.

" Can I watch to see what it's like."
" Well you will have to sit away from this bar but you can still see what's going on,"

" Oh great, thanks."

Mark found it very interesting, as he caught his eye on long blonde haired Jacky Mind. What he also found interesting was how the men took it turns to talk to each woman, the fact the women didn't have to move.

Mark hated to try his luck with Jacky because she was one of Speed Dating members but he found her so attractive. The thought that she may have hit a date with someone made him feel jealous but he tried his luck in the end anyway. Mark was dieing for the event to be finished so he could chase Jacky out of the door. Mark felt ashamed feeling how he felt, he thought he may have scared her, which wasn't what he wanted to do.

It was 9.00pm when the event ended, as he followed her out of the door then stopped. She looked surprised and wondered what this strange man wanted from her. Jacky was just about to get her bus home when Mark stopped her.

" Sorry to make you jump and sorry this is so sudden, would you like my mobile number?"

" It's ok, you didn't make me jump."

"May be we can meet up for a drink sometime, sorry it's so sudden, what is your name lady?"

" My name is Jacky Mind, I will take your number and think about it, what is your name?"

" My name is Mark Jones."

" You don't have to ring me if you don't want to Jacky, this was a bit unexpected for you."

" Can I take you to the bus stop, Jacky, how are getting home."
" I am getting the bus, yes I would like you to take me to the bus stop, thank you."

" That's no problem, Jacky."

They walked to the 559 bus stop, as they made it just in time. Mark manged to just kiss Jacky on the cheek, as the driver was in such a hurry to go.

Mark started to feel guilty as he felt strongly about Jacky too quicky but he would have accepted it if she didn't contract him. He thought he may have scared her away. He felt very anry with himself. He only thought about his own feelings in the end not how Jacky felt. Her long blonde hair and her blue eyes were only on his mind. He ended up building Jacky's hopes up far too much. His lies promising a world that he couldn't give to her. Yet by chasing her too quick, he thought he blew it.

ACTION SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS.

CHAPTER ONE INTRODUCTION

We are all told that we are all born for a reason. Life is very strange to the reasons why we are here yet it's too short then we died. We don't expect good all the time but it's nice to have the rights to make the most of this short life.
When you have learning disabilities that isn't always possible to everyone because your choices are limited to what you can do and have to wait until if someone can support you.

Nine out of ten times the rest of the world doesn't stop to think, they are wrapped up in their own lives. We should have equal rights life we hate feeling the odd ones out to the rest of society. Most people don't stop to think about how LD would affect their lives.

Most people tend to think that we think enjoy asking for help all the time, we don't just like you wouldn't.

How can life be what you make it, if you haven't got any or limited choices?
Achieves what they want to achieve but how many people with learning disabilities? I am not saying that goes for everyone in the world of people with LD but most people.

Let's not jump any guns as every LD is different some people have limit choice but others have no choices at all. We understand in some cases you can't always help 100% but you can learn to understand. An example of choice is, what to have for breakfast in the morning. I am Lucky I am not limit to that choice but some people are. There other choices in life that I am limited to. Everyone is different, you learn in the person. For eg; two people with the same LD may not find the same things hard. Just expect anything you come across.

We are told it's a free country, it's a free world. Saying that it would be a dangerous world if were able get up to no good all the time so we need a balance our choice. Changing the subject slightly it's very important to teach children right from wrong from the start otherwise they don't grow up to be nice people. These days they can do what they want because the law won't let adults put them on the right track like we used to be able to.

Most people have choices and control when it comes to their lives others don,t in circles of people with and without LD. Friendships and relationships are very hard thing anyway but when you have LD you are hard work to society and your can only be equal so much or not at all. This isn't to wave magic wands but raise awareness, that apply to all areas of our lives. When it comes to friendships and relationships lack communication and understanding can affect how we get along with people. We understand that lots of people have had failed relationships it wouldn't surprise me if people with LD than without. This is something I should have checked in my research but I will and I will let you know about % and everything. Here's an example of of lack of communication and understanding.See if you can google find out how many people with LD have had failed relationships compared to people without. Please email me on sarajgorman@googlemail.com to tell me what you have found out, thank you.

" Please cook my breakfast."
" Cook your own."
" No because everytime I try to cook, I burn myself."
" I will but your having egg on toast."
" I don't want egg on toast,I want a fri up, please help me cook it."
" No I will cook egg on toast for you."
" How am I can I learn if your doing it for me."
" I haven't got all day I have other things to do."

This is a completely different topic to friendships and relationships but it's still an example of a person with a LD trying to make themselves understood. It's not a nice a thing because you want to do things yourself but you have learned to accept that you can't for so long because you have always been controlled. That person is refusing to help than person instead he or she is doing it for them? Is it right or wrong? Is that person without LD helping that person with LD to learn how to cook or not? Try and guess how the person with LD felt after all that, let's hear your story of what may have afterwards. Make up your own story about the two characters with and without LD. Tell me how much you understand about LD. How do you think the person with LD must have behaved towards the person without he or she cooked he or she's breakfast? Did the person with LD want egg on toast? Please email me on sarajgorman@googlemail.com
thank you.

It's strange to think that Mark was writing an Advert for the Wolverhampton Express and Star. How could anyone lie about what he wants? The strange thing was, he met Jackey Mind before he put the Advert in the paper.
Long blonde hair, blue eyes, leather jacket, 5.4 in height, a female with learning disabilities. Someone who likes red, wine and pizzas.

Mark was 37 years of age, jet black hair, dark brown, 5.8 in height
and wore a black leather jacket.
Mark used to be a guitarist who used to be Self-Employed in shop work, became a Fireman and then fixing cars. A lot of these things happened before he met Jacky. Mark was hoping to make fame but he could'nt sing but he could play the guitar.

The story I am introducing and writing is about a young lady 27, with LD, her name was Jackey Mind. What do think was going through her mind? Her choices to her life were controlled by society. She felt like the odd one out to the rest of society. ( How would you feel in Jackey's shoe?

Cutbacks on LD services.

We all know there's big worry about these cutback for everyone and all services not just for people with LD. These cutbacks are more a worry for people with LD, families and carers because we need more support to live our lives. These are the things I'm aware of that the government is cutting back on, DLA, Incapacity and Housing benefit, transport, police, libraries, colleges and other public services. For eg; Social care. If these cutbacks are affecting you in anyway as a person with disabilities and Mental Health problems, Elderly, family members, parents and carers. Please contract me on sarajgorman@googlemail.com I am a learning Disability MP People's Parliament. I can report your views to the rest of the LD MPS, then write to the Houses of Parliament to make them aware of your views.

People with learning disabilities have talent.

Not long ago, I got a Chirsty Brown's life story of Wolverhampton library, it's called ' My LEFT FOOT' I have read it, it's very good. He had Cerebral Palsy, he could pain, draw and write with his left foot. I also read about his disability made life hard for him. For example finding it hard to communicate with people, he found it very hard to talk. This made him feel very alone in the world. 'MY LEFT FOOT' was also a film. Daniel Day Lewis played Christie Brown, he won a award for it in 1989. To find out more about Christie Brown and ' MY LEFT FOOT' google it in.

If you have disabilities,is the famous people who have your disabilities and your talent? For example I have Epilepsy and I love writing stories and poetry. Charles Dickens had Epilepsy and he was also a Novelist writer, he wrote short stories and poetry too. Please email me on sarajgorman@googlemail.com if you wish to tell me about your disabilities and talent.

Agatha Christie had dyslexia just like me, she was a crime writer. I share Asperger Syndrome an my writing talent with Virgina Woof, Shakespeare, Goethe, Isacc Asimov, Emest Vincent Wright and Charles Dickens.

I share Dyspraxia and writing with Emily and Charlotte Bronte, Samuel Taylor Coleridge, Emest Hemingway, Jack Kerouac, Hans Christian Anderson and George Orwell.

What is Dyspraxia?

Dyspraxia can cause you to have bad co-cordation problems, motor skills problems, gripping and etc can be very hard for people like us.

Foe example gripping a pencil, knife, fork, feeding skills, fastening buttons, tieing shoe laces, cooking, cleaning teeth, apply cometrics, styling hair, opening jars, opening packets, locking and unlocking doors.

Body movements.
Poor timing, bad balance, falling over easy, tripping over one's feet, clumsly, knocking and banging into people

Dyspraxia is also a Mental as well as Psychical disability, which isn't much different to Dyslexia apart from both words aren't that much different to spell either. How strange? The only difference is that Dyslexia isn't a Psycisal disability really.

Not everyone who has the same disabilities finds the same things hard. Just expect anything off anybody and any disability. Some people's skills get better than they used to be but others don't. These disabilities can also affect some people's speech.

It could have happened to you.

You need to think about how about if you needed extra support in everything you want, need and do. For example cooking, washing, dressing, reading, writing, cleaning, shopping and so the list goes on forever. ( How would you cope and feel?)
Everyone has different kinds of disabilities. Each disability can make peoples' lives hard in different ways. People can get more than one disability not everyone has the same ones.

Theses disabilities can happen before, during or after birth.

People with LD hate asking for help all the while as much as it much be very hard work for you to help us. Sadly one way or another we need your support whether we like it or not. Neither you or us are to blame for our disabilities, that's just how curl life can be. Let's not let life knock us back, let's get on with it.
We want you to stop to think about if you were us and we were you. ( How would you feel and cope?) The bottom text before answering the question I have just asked.

These are the things people with LD have to face.

Not been able to learn as quick as you.

Not been able to face too many things going on at once.

Easily get confused with too much jargon and information.

There's a limit of what we can do with, without support or and not at all.

On the good side we achieve things slowly.

Some of us can't read but the ones that can have problems with talking information and reading long words that we can jargon words.

Some people can't write but the ones who can have problems with spelling, grammar and etc.

We could have bad co-coronation problems like Dyspraxia.

Numbers for example solving problems.

Not been able to write essays and assignments on time for college or and school.

We may also need help in starting a topic, making sense of it and proof reading it.

On the bright side.

Most people with LD are creative. For example I didn't realize that I could write my life story and short stories until I was 23, even though I have had very limited dyslexia support. When I was 27 I started writing poetry, yet when I was in school I couldn't learn anything. 11 of my poems have been published one each in a book. which amazed me. I have written a Newsletters with support and plus report the Compton Hospice Newsletter where used do work experience.

There people with LD who are famous, here some of them. You could google Famous people with learning disabilities and see what comes up.If you see the names of the people I write down, try to find out what kind of disabilities they have got.

Cher actor/singer, Agatha Christie writer, Winston Churchill Prime Mister. Tom Cruise actor, Thomas Edison inventor, Albert Einstein Physicist/inventor, Whoopi Goldberg actess. Mike Gravel Former Senator, Brue Jenner O Olympic athlete, Magic Johnson basket ball player, Grey Lougannis Olympic driver, Linsley Wagner actess, Henry Winkler, actor.

The big wide world.

It's hard enough going into adulthood as it is when you have to cope with the big wide world on your own. When you have learning disabilities it's even harder. One of the main things are, everyone wants to learn about what it's like to have friendships and relationships but we also want to be understood, which is a very hard thing for people with LD. This is where we want people without disabilities to learn how to understand us. Many people understand that most relationships and marriages fail but many people with LD aren't given a chance to try that. Many people with LD may lose their relationship because their partner has misunderstood them, it doesn't have to make a difference whether their partner has LD or not. Some aren't honest with people with LD, for example telling them that they can take their LD on board, love us,support us and look after us but give us courage to live our lives with a balance of been caring but not too over protective. I believe that everyone should have that in their partner whether they have LD or not.

Through the hard barriers we have had to face, this generation of people with LD want to make life easier for the next generation of people with LD by training and educating people without LD about LD.

Bad things can happen to anyone in friendships and relationships but life very can be very lonely if you have no one at all. People with LD are the people who are most likely to be lonely because we get misunderstood the most. Communication is a big thing for everyone not just people with LD but there are easy special aids people LD can used but due to lack of money not everyone can have access to them. No one is saying that people with LD are only ones who are left out. In other words classed as the odd one out. Everyone deserves someone whether it's your friends, a lover or both.

Take more time to learn how know and understand people with LD.Just think it could have been you, in other words put yourself in someone Else's shoes.

Try the easiest way of getting to know someone, which is well at least for anyway. Yes, ask people with LD, what is the easiest way of getting to know them.

For example ask them what their interests and hobbies are then support them to ask you the same question. In other words ask them to ask you the same question. This may help them because they may not know what to ask you.

Up to date work news

At the Access All Areas Now! has been very slow because we have been trying to fight for funding to build the business. Me, Jess and Andy are hoping to go on a Teaching and Management course. There will be a meeting soon to sought out what's happening. Work has been hard to get anyway due to the summer holiday but hopefully things will start picking up.

I one of many of people with learning disabilities have become MPs for the peoples' Parliament with the support of a Self - Advocacy group called Changing Our Lives who are MPs themselves.At the moment we are going through some leadership training.

During the summer my computer crashed but I still managed to do a bit of work on learning disability, friendship and relationships awareness. I have been writing a story called ' Action Speaks louder than Words'

It's about a woman with a learning disability named Jackie from Wolverhampton who goes speed dating at the Lighthouse chub building. A young man name Mark who doesn't have LD walks in, he gets told he needs to drink away from the restaurant part even though can still see the speeding dating going on. He liked the way different men were talking to different women. When the event finished at 9.00pm,Mark managed to give Jackie his phone number then walked to the bus stop. Jackey wasn't sure at first but she rang him before her speed dating results came through.

They had two dates, one on the phone and other at Jackie's house. They tried the Moon Under Water' but it was too packed out a Saturday night without any seats and they couldn't hear one another.
It turned out Mark promised Jackie the world, that he'd support her to move in with him, have his child, help her look after it and etc. As sooner as Jackie became pregnant he kicked her out of his house and decided he wanted women did have disabilities and who didn't need support, when Jackie had told him everything about her disabilities and the help she needs, he promised to give but didn't. Jackie lived with friends.
The baby was taken of her very quickly from social services and Mark. Jackie wasn't told what sex the baby was and where he or she was other than Mark putting he or she in and out of care. This led Jackie into very deep depression so badly that the friends she was living with Karen, Hana and the police saved her from taking her life at Beatles car park.

In the end she moved on, she did an English and creative at Bilston college, social services housed her in Bradmore and she found herself a new companion in life named Alex, what Alex was like is up to you readers to decide but he was a lot better than Mark.

LD AND HEALTHCARE FOR HEALTH STAFF AND HEALTH STUDENTS

INTRODUCTION `Access All Areas!` hope we are giving something about in the Health care of people with LD. Only because LD week is over, we still you are going to try and take as many we have raised awareness you about the Health care People with Ld have faced in our past. We hope you can do your best to better Health care. It isn't just treatment it's neglect and lives that shouldn't have been lost.

I am yet to talk to my business partner Jess about us looking Health services to see what has and hasn't got better. Myself having not been seriously ill since 1993, although it's a good thing. I don't know what has changed in the hospitals since then. This something I want see for myself without been ill.

I would like to remind you about the things we have spoke about in our training session and what I have put on my website. I may also put things on my website that we haven't spoke about.

What I have said is that people LD are more likely to die you than people with. It's up to Health to do their job how they should and putting a stop to this. Without over protecting keeping a close eye on people with LD for the sake of Health and Safety.
What we didn't make you aware of is it can be hard for people with LD to put trust into Health staff when they have had bad experiences of Health in the past. It well be hard for adult with LD to put trust in the future but if we can creative a good future for today's children we will have better future for tomorrow's adults. It's up to you to prove that you can help people Ld and the people support them to put trust in you. This can scar people away from Health care once they don't feel as if they are not been looked after and cared for. Put yourself in our shoes. Health care is better than it used to be but not good enough. Make a start of stopping bad Health care to tell past Health staff how they should have been taught even though it's not their fault that society was so in the dark in those days.

I spoke to a Gp at my doctors about Health and LD awareness. He told me that they called out most people with LD for appointments but they don't seem to make them or even turn up. I think because of Health care in the past, which I have faced myself people are scared of Health staff. Today's health staff will have a hard job to get most people with LD who have lived 20 to 40 years or more to access the Health services. For eg; I myself have changed my GPS because I wasn't happy at my last one. I stopped going for roughly 12 mouths or more, then I felt brave enough to change my GPS with a bit of help from a support worker.

How can you make Health care better for people with LD?

Me, Andy and Jess are also part of a Self Advocacy group called Our Shout supported by Mencap as well as Access All Areas NOW! even Andy isn't self employed yet. We go to lots of different meetings talking about different things, one subject is the Health care of people with Ld. We all that Health care needs to get better for people with LD. aT LOT OF health care staff find it hard to communicate with people with Ld. They need to learn about Health care we want and need. Most of us have problems with.

Talking, listening, reading, writing talking information in and explaining ourselves to people's understanding. Even a lot of people who support people with LD have problems understanding professions. It's very important for people with Ld to educate all professions. Without communicating and understand one another is useless. If you look around my website I hope I hope I have explained enough for you to understand how with Ld communicate but as different people have different disabilities we all communicate in different.

The law says that Health services need to make changes to how people LD want our Health services. People with LD believe that there are not enough changes made.

People who support people with LD find it hard to make themselves heard as well as people with LD ourselves. Things are better to what they were but we still have a long way to go. Health staff don't know enough about LD. They need to learn about you all need to learn about our needs and wants. Most people with LD find it hard to say how feel. This is why we get poor Health care, it's up to you to better it.

Sometimes Health staff can't communicate with one another.

The way you give medication out is important.

Type out medication information on the computer in size 14 to 20 font.

Easy words and pictures of people talking medication, the type of medication it is and how much.

Make as clear as possible so we understand.

Use bullet point and even numbers step by step to show us what order we take our medication. Mostly there's a lot of information many of us will find it hard to take. As many short words and sentences as possible. No jargon!

Think of the side effects most medications cause mainly when they can affect people in a big bad way. This can have dangerous affects on people's lives. Keep trying until you find the right medication for people.

If you came to our training session on Monday 21st June 2010 for LD week, you may have heard say that you must study the Mental capacity Act it's law!!!!!! I am now reminding that I have also typed it somewhere on this website if look very carefully, I think it's on the next page Learning Disability Health 2010.

What asked advised you to do in the LD week report is study the Health Action plan. There's good information but I believe there may be missing information. For eg; if someone passes out alone out and about they need records of their medication, gp, people with are supporting them, caring for them and etc.

I will also remind you, which was in our Training session and on this website on LD week report that you need to be studying Disability Discrimination Act, which law to study it if you are working in any field of LD.

PCP Person Cente Plan is also is also important to study to give people with LD our own choice and control in life.

All these things you can find websites for, put in your search engine or if you haven't got a lot of access to the internet you could search the book shops or even the libraries to see if there are books on the Health care of people with LD.


The NHS have very little training in the Health care of LD. I have put a lot of important information on this website for you to study. I hope to put new information on for you in the future.

Try to better attitudes.
Respect people with LD.
Be more patient with us.
Treat us with dignity.


Stronger action should be taken to give better Health care. Department of Health should tell all local services to do their work to the ability of LD. There are Directed Enhanced services for people with LD.

Health check ups one or twice a year.
Support for people if and when we need and want it.
Help us to communicate.
Better and clearer information for us to read and understand.
More pictures for those of us who can't read and write.
Most of us can't take information in so we may need support to do so.

Health study cases for LD week.

Study case 1. Mr Jones is eighteen years old.
He was send to a mental impairment service from the Children team nine mouths prior to his eighteenth birthday.

At the time he was living in a supported flat with 24 hour 1 to 1 support from a private run domiciliary care service, where he had resided for about one year.

He was diagnosed Autism and depression, for which he was prescribed medication by the children's psychiatrist.

At the time he was told that he had severely behavior problems, he had attacked staff several times a week.

This caused a high level of staff sickness to injury or stress.

He has had threaded members of the public.

He often went out to meet young women, that he had relationships with.
He was well known to the police service, who had been called out many times because of his violence behavior towards staff.

He was in court many times for assault and threatening behavior and been detained in young offenders institution twice.

Shortly after his referral, he was again detained in a prison which was 150 miles away from the service.

The mental impairment service attended two reviews at the prison and traveled to see him during his period of detention.

The remain prior to his eighteenth birthday was to gather information and liaise with children's' services.

It was clear that due to his level of learning disability he was not coping well in prison.

The service advised him that psychiatric assessment was done during his time of detention , with a view to finding him a hospital near his home area, and planned for a local psychiatrist to travel to the prison and carry out the assessment.

However, before he could be moved, his time of detention ended and he was released back to his old address.

He was placed on a higher level of 24 hour care with two or three staff at all times.

He has been detained on a low secure unit many times in order to treat episode of psychosis.

A few mouths later, the housing and support provider felt after many attacks, they couldn't give support any longer to Mr Jones due to his behavior.

He was evicted from the property. An emergency referral was then made to an alternative care provider which was based about 60 miles away from his home.

He was moved to another supported flat with 24 hour support from two staff.

A mouth of residing in this placement he again turned up in court following previous assaults and was remanded in prison. At this point he turned eighteen.
He was officially moved to the mental impairment service on the day of his 18th birthday.

Shortly after this, a move to this a move to a low private secure therapeutic facility was planned under section 37 of Mental Health Act. The unit is 156 miles away from Mr Jone's home.

People with LD and Mental Health problems can be misunderstood but it doesn't that everything is down to LD and Mental Health.

Some people may be unaware of what they could be saying or and doing.
There are all different kinds behavior problems.

For eg; I understand that crime can be a serous thing, I feel for people when they lose the people they love.

No is saying that people with Ld should be treated any different because of there LD but there needs to be awareness of balance if it comes to a case of a person with LD who hasn't been aware of what they may have done until they have told in a prison but at the same time we must understand the feeling of the victims loved ones.

The person with LD may be very angry with themselves to a point they could take they own life because they wouldn't be able to stand a life time in prison.

I am not saying all people with LD don't know what they are doing but for the ones don't wouldn't do such crimes if it hadn't of been for their problems.

Some causes could be done to LD, Mental problems or and the side affects of most medications. Health staff need to looking into these things so these people don't put themselves through these things.


Case 2 com pair Mr Jone's case with mine as a child.

I was on heavy medication as a child, which caused my behavior problems which didn't give me any excuse. On the other hand, I can gladly my behaviour problems weren't bad enough to commit a crime.

I found it hard to pay attention in the day time at school and I was hyperactive at night.
I think I was over tried, the medication made very dreamily and sleepily in the day time yet strangely I wouldn't rest if I had the chance of a nap.

Since I have come off those tablets I haven't those problems have stopped.

Back then I would just lose my temper any time, any place and anywhere, kick and scream the place down.

In shops I would pull the items off the shelves.

For eg; if I couldn't tie my shoes laces, I would get very angry.

I used to think that the world was more cleverer than.

I thought I was the only person couldn't cope with every day life skills. The world seemed very big to me when I was little.

It's a wonder I did not commit crimes, with the strength of the tablets I was on, it made so unaware of the world around me.

When I came off the tablets at the age of 12 because I was having less fits slowly I became aware of the world around me and my behavior problems calmed down.

My questions are to you, there's no right or wrong answers, I am just interested what you think.

How do you think my life would have ended up now if I was still on those dangerous tablets? Do you think I would have ended up like Mr Jones or not?
Lucky for me I didn't to take these tablets for the rest of my life, even they thought Health staff at that time though I was going to have to always depend on those tablets for life.

Please send me an email on sarajgorman@googlemail.com.

Phenobarbital (phenobarbitone) I think I took 3 to 500mgs One tablet three times a day,that's how dangerous the medication was for a child or any human being any age.
I read a bit of history about the tablets, the purpose was to help the soldiers sleep in the 1st or and 2nd world war.
My children was in the 1970s.
If you would like to research it on the Internet Health staff and Health students.

If you research this please send an email me to let me know what you have found out.

Case three. Mr Smith is twenty - six years old West Indian man with mild LD and psychotic disorder for which he receives prescribed medication.
He has a long history of petty offence rs for which he has been arrested and in court many times.
These include burglary, theft and minor drug offences.

He is very well known to the local police.

He had spent five years on offender register due to previous sex offenders against a girl under age sixteen.

Mr Smith resides in the area he has moved to different rented places over the years.
He often fails to keep appointments and very guarded about his whereabouts, making it hard to engage effectively with him.

He finds it hard to help himself and many of his placements have failed. His currently saying with family and is soon to be evicted.

It is known that Mr Smith does not adhere voluntary to his medication regime.

Mr Smith is very hard to house due to his history of unstable tenancies, and his offending behaviour.

He had just been arrested for burglary and his court case has been put on hold for two mouths.
There has been an ongoing issues with the police as he and his family feel that his LD is not taken into account by police or professions with the criminal justice system.

He has taken custody many times with no request for an appropriate adult, or any support from health or social services.

Why do you think Mr Smith committed the crimes he had done?

Do you think by the sounds of cases he meant to commit these crimes or not?

Make notes on the balance of the feelings of the victims and Mr Smiths feelings in case of if he didn't know what he was doing. How do you think he felt when he became aware?

In the case that he may of meant to commit these crimes what do you think should happen to him because of his LD?

What should to happen to him if he didn't know what he was doing?

What do you think caused it he didn't mean to do? LD, Mental Health problems or even the medication he's taking.


Do you think he may be misunderstood? Without excuses there may be all kinds of possibilities but we need to understand the feelings of the victims, families, lovers and friends.

Health students and Health staff, if you want to answer these questions, you may be able to research Mr Smith's LD on the internet. Please email if you want if you answer to try to answer these questions.