You never know!
Everything is
unknown for everyone.
You could be right as rain one day.
The future seems very bright.
You feel on top of the world.
You can cope with everything and everyone.
You feel fitter, quicker and brighter than ever.
Over night something bad has happened you, this has affected the rest of your life.
Now you feel worse than ever because you are so unaware of the world around you.
To be sure you don't know what is and is not coming to you.
Suddenly everything and anything is out of you.
It's all gone for life.
You are a changed person.
You've gone from a very unsuccessful person to a most unsuccessful person.
You will be very lucky to be that successful person again; if you are it could take a lot of hard work to get your life back together again.
Make the best of what and who you are in case you may not see tomorrow.
Please try harder to understand people who have not got as much going as you have or they may have to work harder for longer to get there!
The truth of the matter is that you will never understand unless it happens to you.
Everyone has to go through good and bad in life as I write, some worse or any better than others.
Birth, nursery, school, college, friendships, friendships gives some happiness but also stresses in life.
People with disabilities and health problems get stress out, ill or and even die easy due to on top of the problems we have already.
There's support for some things for us but not for others.
Without the same right as other people we will be alone in the world even though we have one another.
We understand that it's hard for other people, we just have to work harder to get there than other people or we don't get there at all. 9.10.2011
You could be right as rain one day.
The future seems very bright.
You feel on top of the world.
You can cope with everything and everyone.
You feel fitter, quicker and brighter than ever.
Over night something bad has happened you, this has affected the rest of your life.
Now you feel worse than ever because you are so unaware of the world around you.
To be sure you don't know what is and is not coming to you.
Suddenly everything and anything is out of you.
It's all gone for life.
You are a changed person.
You've gone from a very unsuccessful person to a most unsuccessful person.
You will be very lucky to be that successful person again; if you are it could take a lot of hard work to get your life back together again.
Make the best of what and who you are in case you may not see tomorrow.
Please try harder to understand people who have not got as much going as you have or they may have to work harder for longer to get there!
The truth of the matter is that you will never understand unless it happens to you.
Everyone has to go through good and bad in life as I write, some worse or any better than others.
Birth, nursery, school, college, friendships, friendships gives some happiness but also stresses in life.
People with disabilities and health problems get stress out, ill or and even die easy due to on top of the problems we have already.
There's support for some things for us but not for others.
Without the same right as other people we will be alone in the world even though we have one another.
We understand that it's hard for other people, we just have to work harder to get there than other people or we don't get there at all. 9.10.2011
Trying
too hard.
Too easy to fear the worst in life which doesn't turn out as bad as we think or not bad at all.
The worst isn't always as bad as it seems.
At times the excepted can which could be good when you thought it was bad.
The future is unknown so don't plan, life is mapped out for you.
It's not helpful to worry about something that seems likes everything but then it's nothing at all.
Everyone is to blame at some point for worrying about something we should have done.
To move forward.
To believe in yourself then you can believe in others around you.
Don't lose trust in others because many others have broken your trust.
Like and love yourself then you can like and love others.
Something small seems really big.
The hole needs to be sewed up before it gets too big.
The mole needs to stop growing before it becomes a molehill.
The hardest part is to think positive when you have been thinking negative too long.
We can only think positive if we want.
In many cases in life there's no such word as can't, the words are won't and want. 26.10.2011
Too easy to fear the worst in life which doesn't turn out as bad as we think or not bad at all.
The worst isn't always as bad as it seems.
At times the excepted can which could be good when you thought it was bad.
The future is unknown so don't plan, life is mapped out for you.
It's not helpful to worry about something that seems likes everything but then it's nothing at all.
Everyone is to blame at some point for worrying about something we should have done.
To move forward.
To believe in yourself then you can believe in others around you.
Don't lose trust in others because many others have broken your trust.
Like and love yourself then you can like and love others.
Something small seems really big.
The hole needs to be sewed up before it gets too big.
The mole needs to stop growing before it becomes a molehill.
The hardest part is to think positive when you have been thinking negative too long.
We can only think positive if we want.
In many cases in life there's no such word as can't, the words are won't and want. 26.10.2011
Fear.
When I know I am going see you, I fear I'm going to blow because I have blown it with the people I used to love.
Every time with you I have surprised myself that I haven't done and said the wrong things when I have been and not drunk.
When I am not with you I fear the worst of myself but then I learn to trust myself, which helps me a lot to trust you.
I love you far too much not to trust you.
I wouldn't lose in you because others before you broke my trust. 26.10.2011
tomorrow is another day.
Never think good or bad about tomorrow.
You don't know what tomorrow is going to be like until it comes.
Even if the bad is here the good will come another day or bad may turn into good.
Good may happen as soon as tomorrow just wait and see.
Good will happen to those who wait.
Nothing can be good all the time.
Nothing can be bad all the time.
Change happens whether we like it not but some things happen for the worst others happen for the better.
Nothing can stay the same but some things do stay the same.
Life would be boring if everything stayed the same yet if everything changed.
It's not good to stay sad all the time; too much pain can damage you.
It's not good stay happy all the time; too much happiness can spoil you too much.
Pain can make you strong.
Too much happiness can make you weak but lot happiness can make you stable.
When I know I am going see you, I fear I'm going to blow because I have blown it with the people I used to love.
Every time with you I have surprised myself that I haven't done and said the wrong things when I have been and not drunk.
When I am not with you I fear the worst of myself but then I learn to trust myself, which helps me a lot to trust you.
I love you far too much not to trust you.
I wouldn't lose in you because others before you broke my trust. 26.10.2011
tomorrow is another day.
Never think good or bad about tomorrow.
You don't know what tomorrow is going to be like until it comes.
Even if the bad is here the good will come another day or bad may turn into good.
Good may happen as soon as tomorrow just wait and see.
Good will happen to those who wait.
Nothing can be good all the time.
Nothing can be bad all the time.
Change happens whether we like it not but some things happen for the worst others happen for the better.
Nothing can stay the same but some things do stay the same.
Life would be boring if everything stayed the same yet if everything changed.
It's not good to stay sad all the time; too much pain can damage you.
It's not good stay happy all the time; too much happiness can spoil you too much.
Pain can make you strong.
Too much happiness can make you weak but lot happiness can make you stable.
Morning.
The day has just started.
The clouds are white.
The sky is grey.
I find hard to think good or bad thoughts, I just get on with my day.
Nevertheless I am ok until.
I come back from the Job Centre; I get a letter through my door from Income Support.
Saying I said I am working when I haven't said anything at all.
I am working hard not to let these Benefit people stress me out before I scream and shout.
The only you in my mind keeps me calm.
I'm willing to stay stable and calm despite the fact the problem needs to be looked at soon as possible. 27.1o.2011
everyone is looking at me.
The bar is crowded.
I try to find a condor.
I try to find a space to wait for the crowd to calm down.
Everyone is looking at me knowing that I fear crowds.
I walk out the pub, where I go next is unknown.
I come back there are less people standing by the bar as I get myself a drink.
Now I take forever to find a seat, in the mean time people are staring at me knowing that I am stressed.
They are looking at me strange, and then I turn my head away.
In time I smile, they wonder what I am smiling at.
I am thinking that I don't need a reason to make me smile.
Who cares what they think?
So what I am smiling for no reason, mad they might think.
There's no point being sad only because they might be. 27.10.2011
The day has just started.
The clouds are white.
The sky is grey.
I find hard to think good or bad thoughts, I just get on with my day.
Nevertheless I am ok until.
I come back from the Job Centre; I get a letter through my door from Income Support.
Saying I said I am working when I haven't said anything at all.
I am working hard not to let these Benefit people stress me out before I scream and shout.
The only you in my mind keeps me calm.
I'm willing to stay stable and calm despite the fact the problem needs to be looked at soon as possible. 27.1o.2011
everyone is looking at me.
The bar is crowded.
I try to find a condor.
I try to find a space to wait for the crowd to calm down.
Everyone is looking at me knowing that I fear crowds.
I walk out the pub, where I go next is unknown.
I come back there are less people standing by the bar as I get myself a drink.
Now I take forever to find a seat, in the mean time people are staring at me knowing that I am stressed.
They are looking at me strange, and then I turn my head away.
In time I smile, they wonder what I am smiling at.
I am thinking that I don't need a reason to make me smile.
Who cares what they think?
So what I am smiling for no reason, mad they might think.
There's no point being sad only because they might be. 27.10.2011
Change.
You cannot avoid change.
One bus has gone but another bus is come.
When is an unknown question?
One love has gone but another love is soon.
When is an unknown question?
Some people or and things are meant be the same but not everything and everybody.
When is any time?
Today
Tomorrow
the next day
Next week
Next year
who knows?
Whatever or whoever you are waiting for something or someone may be right for you.
There are at least some things and some people stay put but not all.
Some things you need to work to get what's right for you but some of us never find it or who.
Don't try hard because that will never do, you will never get anywhere.
Try hard enough because you never get anywhere if you don't try at all.
Don't hope too much, you will never get anywhere.
Take every day as it comes, if that isn't good enough nothing ever will be.
Never think you can get all what you want. 27.10.2011
You cannot avoid change.
One bus has gone but another bus is come.
When is an unknown question?
One love has gone but another love is soon.
When is an unknown question?
Some people or and things are meant be the same but not everything and everybody.
When is any time?
Today
Tomorrow
the next day
Next week
Next year
who knows?
Whatever or whoever you are waiting for something or someone may be right for you.
There are at least some things and some people stay put but not all.
Some things you need to work to get what's right for you but some of us never find it or who.
Don't try hard because that will never do, you will never get anywhere.
Try hard enough because you never get anywhere if you don't try at all.
Don't hope too much, you will never get anywhere.
Take every day as it comes, if that isn't good enough nothing ever will be.
Never think you can get all what you want. 27.10.2011
You.
Whatever worries me you ease my mind all the time, whether I see you or not.
Having you on my mind keeps me going when life is tough.
I can accept every in life when I have you on my mind.
I ride my exercise bike even though I am not getting anywhere.
I think about you all the time whether I am down in myself or not, then I start to feel good.
I do everything I can to keep myself strong. 27.10.2011
no more tears to cry.
No more tears to cry but sadness is still here.
It was all so long ago.
Nothing was ever done because it was understood or believed.
Pain is unknown whether I like it not.
Even now no one understands or believes me.
I find it hard to talk about even now.
I may not be crying on the outside but I am crying on the inside.
I am smiling on the outside but feeling pain on the inside.
I used to find it hard to sleep in fear of seeing one of you, a few of you or even more.
Now none of you bother me at all.
You have all been here far too long to stay.
My mind is just wondering away thoughts.
I find that I believe in myself at last.
When I have been through this pain so long nothing is new to me.
The thoughts have been inside my head far too long.
The grass is always greener on the other side. 20.11.2011
Whatever worries me you ease my mind all the time, whether I see you or not.
Having you on my mind keeps me going when life is tough.
I can accept every in life when I have you on my mind.
I ride my exercise bike even though I am not getting anywhere.
I think about you all the time whether I am down in myself or not, then I start to feel good.
I do everything I can to keep myself strong. 27.10.2011
no more tears to cry.
No more tears to cry but sadness is still here.
It was all so long ago.
Nothing was ever done because it was understood or believed.
Pain is unknown whether I like it not.
Even now no one understands or believes me.
I find it hard to talk about even now.
I may not be crying on the outside but I am crying on the inside.
I am smiling on the outside but feeling pain on the inside.
I used to find it hard to sleep in fear of seeing one of you, a few of you or even more.
Now none of you bother me at all.
You have all been here far too long to stay.
My mind is just wondering away thoughts.
I find that I believe in myself at last.
When I have been through this pain so long nothing is new to me.
The thoughts have been inside my head far too long.
The grass is always greener on the other side. 20.11.2011
Just
get on with it!
How I get through every day, I don't know.
There must walk around as if nothing has happened.
No one knows what one another are thinking.
I don't shut myself away from the world because life is for living that's what you’re born for.
I just get on with life; I have never known anything else.
More than 30 years on since the first one, they have still got away with it just because me been just a child and having learning disabilities.
No good talking about it whatever I say nothing gets done.
The present is here yesterday has gone let's live for today.
Tomorrow is unknown.
Time to move on.
The pain has gone on far too long to hurt me anymore.
I was far too young to tell anyone.
Far too young to know what was going on?
Too young to understand.
Too young to be understood.
Even now over 40, my words just can't speak. 20.11.2011
Face truth.
Friendship is best or nothing at all.
If we love again we'll hurt one all over again.
I don't know about you but I am too old to take any more.
We must face the truth; we can't fall out if we aren't lovers.
Remember you broke my heart; I had to go along with what you wanted.
Now it's my turn to walk away but I am never coming back only as a friend.
If you can't take that you'll never see me again.
If only I knew that one day my pain would come back on you, what you caused me.
At the time I felt as if I had no future and my whole world was broken.
I never thought my life would be better without you. How wrong was I to think I could never live without you, I felt so alone?
Now it's far too late for you, I am not going to let you hurt me anymore.
I am not spending the rest of my life wondering whether or not you’re in or out of my life.
In fact I don't think you loved me at all, I believe you still don't, you only love me because you know I don't love you anymore.
If I still loved you wouldn't have loved me.
I know we have both been there before.
I had to leave for that mouth because the stress was getting far too much.
How I get through every day, I don't know.
There must walk around as if nothing has happened.
No one knows what one another are thinking.
I don't shut myself away from the world because life is for living that's what you’re born for.
I just get on with life; I have never known anything else.
More than 30 years on since the first one, they have still got away with it just because me been just a child and having learning disabilities.
No good talking about it whatever I say nothing gets done.
The present is here yesterday has gone let's live for today.
Tomorrow is unknown.
Time to move on.
The pain has gone on far too long to hurt me anymore.
I was far too young to tell anyone.
Far too young to know what was going on?
Too young to understand.
Too young to be understood.
Even now over 40, my words just can't speak. 20.11.2011
Face truth.
Friendship is best or nothing at all.
If we love again we'll hurt one all over again.
I don't know about you but I am too old to take any more.
We must face the truth; we can't fall out if we aren't lovers.
Remember you broke my heart; I had to go along with what you wanted.
Now it's my turn to walk away but I am never coming back only as a friend.
If you can't take that you'll never see me again.
If only I knew that one day my pain would come back on you, what you caused me.
At the time I felt as if I had no future and my whole world was broken.
I never thought my life would be better without you. How wrong was I to think I could never live without you, I felt so alone?
Now it's far too late for you, I am not going to let you hurt me anymore.
I am not spending the rest of my life wondering whether or not you’re in or out of my life.
In fact I don't think you loved me at all, I believe you still don't, you only love me because you know I don't love you anymore.
If I still loved you wouldn't have loved me.
I know we have both been there before.
I had to leave for that mouth because the stress was getting far too much.
Before
long I stopped loving bad news for you and good news for me.
I never thought I would have ever stopped loving because I loved you for so long.
One day you will meet someone who you will love ten times more than you loved me.
She won't be able stand for what I stood for.
If you walk all over her she'd be out your life like a flash for good then you will really know what the pain is.
To think I was scared of losing you for good after you hurt me so bad.
Now I realise that I am better off without you or we are better off been just been friends.
I understand that this year has been taught for you with everything happening all at once but sadly everyone goes through death at some time, you aren't alone.
Moving on is hard I know, you need to make a life for yourself or end up a lonely old man.
You soon moved on when you left me and went out with someone else, didn't you?
I was the one who found it hard to move on but not anymore.
I am having a happier life without you if not better. 21.11.2011
Believe your there somewhere.
I believe whoever you are, you are out there somewhere.
You may not be there yet.
I have had too many bad thoughts in my head to think any more bad thoughts.
Never chase never hope just life day by day.
To dream is to hope too much and end up disappointed.
Let luck and love find us.
Just get on with life! 20.11.2011
I never thought I would have ever stopped loving because I loved you for so long.
One day you will meet someone who you will love ten times more than you loved me.
She won't be able stand for what I stood for.
If you walk all over her she'd be out your life like a flash for good then you will really know what the pain is.
To think I was scared of losing you for good after you hurt me so bad.
Now I realise that I am better off without you or we are better off been just been friends.
I understand that this year has been taught for you with everything happening all at once but sadly everyone goes through death at some time, you aren't alone.
Moving on is hard I know, you need to make a life for yourself or end up a lonely old man.
You soon moved on when you left me and went out with someone else, didn't you?
I was the one who found it hard to move on but not anymore.
I am having a happier life without you if not better. 21.11.2011
Believe your there somewhere.
I believe whoever you are, you are out there somewhere.
You may not be there yet.
I have had too many bad thoughts in my head to think any more bad thoughts.
Never chase never hope just life day by day.
To dream is to hope too much and end up disappointed.
Let luck and love find us.
Just get on with life! 20.11.2011
What
happened?
You were so sweet when I first met you; I thought butter wouldn't melt in your month.
Nothing and no one could take me away from you.
Then you weren't the man I thought you were.
You broke my heart when you left me for someone else.
My feelings carried on the same nothing stopped me from feeling love for you.
13 and half years on and off I stuck out until I had enough.
Sorry I couldn't take more pain that you were giving me. 21.11.2011
I can do no more.
The truth hurts you so it should.
I can do no more.
You had your chance of my romance, which didn't take.
You said that there will be no one else in your life; it was never like that when I did love you so why being any different now?
I don't believe that anyone else will let you hurt them like I let you hurt me.
I must be the softest door mat of all but not anymore.
Why did I take so much?
Because I loved you so.
Now I can't imagine how and why I loved you so.
All I ever wanted was someone who would love for what and who I am not what they can get out of me.
All you have from me now is friendship or nothing at all, your choice.
I have a happy life now that I'd be a mad fool to walk away from.
No way would I be as sad as you, walking away from happiness you could do without.
You will never spoil my happiness. 21.11.2011
You were so sweet when I first met you; I thought butter wouldn't melt in your month.
Nothing and no one could take me away from you.
Then you weren't the man I thought you were.
You broke my heart when you left me for someone else.
My feelings carried on the same nothing stopped me from feeling love for you.
13 and half years on and off I stuck out until I had enough.
Sorry I couldn't take more pain that you were giving me. 21.11.2011
I can do no more.
The truth hurts you so it should.
I can do no more.
You had your chance of my romance, which didn't take.
You said that there will be no one else in your life; it was never like that when I did love you so why being any different now?
I don't believe that anyone else will let you hurt them like I let you hurt me.
I must be the softest door mat of all but not anymore.
Why did I take so much?
Because I loved you so.
Now I can't imagine how and why I loved you so.
All I ever wanted was someone who would love for what and who I am not what they can get out of me.
All you have from me now is friendship or nothing at all, your choice.
I have a happy life now that I'd be a mad fool to walk away from.
No way would I be as sad as you, walking away from happiness you could do without.
You will never spoil my happiness. 21.11.2011
I
believe someone loves me, somehow, somewhere.
Someone loves me somehow, somewhere, even if it's not who I think it is.
In that case I don't know but I believe he's out there somewhere.
Despite been knocked over and picking myself up all the time I never give up with love, I believe you’re out there somewhere.
No matter what pain puts me through I don't give up on love.
I have stopped chasing hopes and dreams.
I am a fighter, I will go through whatever life throw at me.
We are put on this earth to enjoy life even though life is what you make it.
Not to waste time starling into space.
Life would be boring if it was all the same so life is full of happiness and pain in all areas.
Time is to use not to waste.
There's no right or wrong, go for what makes you happy and move on from what makes you sad.
Not all happiness works out. 21.11.2011
we are never too old.
We are never too old, we are forever young.
Life is for living and drinking.
Take what comes never stop.
New will come along if nothing is right for you.
May be one day something or someone will be right for you.
Believe in yourself, and then you can believe in others.
Enjoy life rather than waste life.
Life isn't happy all the time otherwise we'd be all spoiled and get away with what we want.
Never doubt yourself because something or someone has let you down.
There are plenty of people who won't let you down so you don't need the people who do.
Enjoy drink and fun.
Face the tomorrow day to look forward to tomorrow night.
If you ever get old, you can look back on a happy life, no matter how much it costs you.
There's always a way of balancing career with your fun. 21.11.2011
Someone loves me somehow, somewhere, even if it's not who I think it is.
In that case I don't know but I believe he's out there somewhere.
Despite been knocked over and picking myself up all the time I never give up with love, I believe you’re out there somewhere.
No matter what pain puts me through I don't give up on love.
I have stopped chasing hopes and dreams.
I am a fighter, I will go through whatever life throw at me.
We are put on this earth to enjoy life even though life is what you make it.
Not to waste time starling into space.
Life would be boring if it was all the same so life is full of happiness and pain in all areas.
Time is to use not to waste.
There's no right or wrong, go for what makes you happy and move on from what makes you sad.
Not all happiness works out. 21.11.2011
we are never too old.
We are never too old, we are forever young.
Life is for living and drinking.
Take what comes never stop.
New will come along if nothing is right for you.
May be one day something or someone will be right for you.
Believe in yourself, and then you can believe in others.
Enjoy life rather than waste life.
Life isn't happy all the time otherwise we'd be all spoiled and get away with what we want.
Never doubt yourself because something or someone has let you down.
There are plenty of people who won't let you down so you don't need the people who do.
Enjoy drink and fun.
Face the tomorrow day to look forward to tomorrow night.
If you ever get old, you can look back on a happy life, no matter how much it costs you.
There's always a way of balancing career with your fun. 21.11.2011
Feelings.
Feelings are hard to control when you love someone.
Falling in love is not easy to control but you don't have to fall in love to love.
When you fall in love it can be hard to let go if things go wrong.
Here I again love again; goodness knows how long it will last.
With knowing what I learned from the last love I believe this love will end.
As I said feelings are hard to control but one but never knows the future.
When many relationships have failed in the past, it's hard to think positive.
It's my feelings that make me never give up.
The future is any one's guess.
No hopes are built but I love him so much.
I miss him so much but he's a man, I guess he will love as long or short as he wants to.
I'll have to move on and start like I have always done, goodness know how many times I will fall in love before I die.
Who knows he may be the one for me and I may be the one for him?
The future is unknown.
All I know is that I love him and miss him so much. 21.11.2011
it all seems like a long goodbye.
It all seems like a long goodbye, seeing you tomorrow are unknown.
Goodbye for another day, mouth, week, year or whenever it is as long as you’re still mine I will never give up on you.
May be I will see you tomorrow but I can't take the pain of saying goodbye not knowing when I will see you again.
I will call you.
I will text you.
I will wait until I see you again.
I don't want to spoil what we have got, a little bit more time together wouldn't go a miss but I understand if not.
Still I will go along with however it is because I love you so much. 21.11.201
Feelings are hard to control when you love someone.
Falling in love is not easy to control but you don't have to fall in love to love.
When you fall in love it can be hard to let go if things go wrong.
Here I again love again; goodness knows how long it will last.
With knowing what I learned from the last love I believe this love will end.
As I said feelings are hard to control but one but never knows the future.
When many relationships have failed in the past, it's hard to think positive.
It's my feelings that make me never give up.
The future is any one's guess.
No hopes are built but I love him so much.
I miss him so much but he's a man, I guess he will love as long or short as he wants to.
I'll have to move on and start like I have always done, goodness know how many times I will fall in love before I die.
Who knows he may be the one for me and I may be the one for him?
The future is unknown.
All I know is that I love him and miss him so much. 21.11.2011
it all seems like a long goodbye.
It all seems like a long goodbye, seeing you tomorrow are unknown.
Goodbye for another day, mouth, week, year or whenever it is as long as you’re still mine I will never give up on you.
May be I will see you tomorrow but I can't take the pain of saying goodbye not knowing when I will see you again.
I will call you.
I will text you.
I will wait until I see you again.
I don't want to spoil what we have got, a little bit more time together wouldn't go a miss but I understand if not.
Still I will go along with however it is because I love you so much. 21.11.201
Everyone
is alone but not alone.
Today the world seems far too dull.
Money is tighter than ever.
No one is alone we are all in these hard times together.
We are alone when it comes to choosing our lives, now money doesn't give us a lot of choice.
Jobs and courses are very hard to find.
It's hard to think positive about the future when negative is around us in the present.
One can only go by what it's seems like.
It's more likely very little brightness at the end of the tunnel one can see.
We must make the best of what we have got even if it's not a lot.
Anything is better than nothing at all.
If you have nothing at all then there's war, the government shouldn't let it go too far.24.11.2011
Putting on a brave face.
We have to get on with life to live it.
We have to cope with what life throws at us.
All we can do is smile to fight the pain.
Life is what you make but not when you don't have choices.
We need to keep ourselves and one another the best we can.
Help one another just as we did when times were hard all so long ago.
Let's believe we are strong: we can work it out. 24.11.2010
Love.
Today the world seems far too dull.
Money is tighter than ever.
No one is alone we are all in these hard times together.
We are alone when it comes to choosing our lives, now money doesn't give us a lot of choice.
Jobs and courses are very hard to find.
It's hard to think positive about the future when negative is around us in the present.
One can only go by what it's seems like.
It's more likely very little brightness at the end of the tunnel one can see.
We must make the best of what we have got even if it's not a lot.
Anything is better than nothing at all.
If you have nothing at all then there's war, the government shouldn't let it go too far.24.11.2011
Putting on a brave face.
We have to get on with life to live it.
We have to cope with what life throws at us.
All we can do is smile to fight the pain.
Life is what you make but not when you don't have choices.
We need to keep ourselves and one another the best we can.
Help one another just as we did when times were hard all so long ago.
Let's believe we are strong: we can work it out. 24.11.2010
Love.
Love
can bring us happiness.
Love can bring us pain.
Never hope when it comes to love.
Love can last for a long but the longer it lasts it can break your heart.
Pain can hit you in the face when you don't know it's going to happen.
No matter how hard it is, we must get up again not every love is the same as the last.
It all goes on like a roller coaster, one never knows unless they try.
It doesn't happen for everyone but there are some people who have thousand fail relationships then one day the right person comes along for them.
You’re lucky or you’re not, if you give up on yourself you will be completely alone.
It's best to try not to think about get on with life day by day, which isn't easy when you really love someone. 24.11.2011
another world.
It's hard to know whether life is real or not.
It's hard to know if happiness is real or not.
We may not like the truth but real is truth no one likes pretend and lies in real life.
Sometimes it's hard to know what the truth is depending what it's about.
What we are told, we don't always like.
What we don't like may be better for us.
What do like may be bad for us.
Don't cry the world isn't always black and white.
Not everything we enjoy is bad for us.
We don't have to feel guilty about everything we do, say, eat, drink and etc.
There are some things we like what are good for us.
It's very rarely enjoyment becomes good for us.
On the whole anything that's bad for us we tend to enjoy, then regret is sooner if not later.
We can't come quick enough enjoy the good and the fun.
We are happy to avoid the things we don't like that is bad for us.
For a lot of us we tend to go with what's bad for us because we enjoy it.
Still we only live once.
If we can't have fun, why are we born? 24.11.2011
Love can bring us pain.
Never hope when it comes to love.
Love can last for a long but the longer it lasts it can break your heart.
Pain can hit you in the face when you don't know it's going to happen.
No matter how hard it is, we must get up again not every love is the same as the last.
It all goes on like a roller coaster, one never knows unless they try.
It doesn't happen for everyone but there are some people who have thousand fail relationships then one day the right person comes along for them.
You’re lucky or you’re not, if you give up on yourself you will be completely alone.
It's best to try not to think about get on with life day by day, which isn't easy when you really love someone. 24.11.2011
another world.
It's hard to know whether life is real or not.
It's hard to know if happiness is real or not.
We may not like the truth but real is truth no one likes pretend and lies in real life.
Sometimes it's hard to know what the truth is depending what it's about.
What we are told, we don't always like.
What we don't like may be better for us.
What do like may be bad for us.
Don't cry the world isn't always black and white.
Not everything we enjoy is bad for us.
We don't have to feel guilty about everything we do, say, eat, drink and etc.
There are some things we like what are good for us.
It's very rarely enjoyment becomes good for us.
On the whole anything that's bad for us we tend to enjoy, then regret is sooner if not later.
We can't come quick enough enjoy the good and the fun.
We are happy to avoid the things we don't like that is bad for us.
For a lot of us we tend to go with what's bad for us because we enjoy it.
Still we only live once.
If we can't have fun, why are we born? 24.11.2011
Too
hard to say goodbye.
It's too hard to say goodbye once I have seen you.
I know it could or and seem like a long time until I see you again.
No matter how much I miss you, I will never give up on you.
No matter what life is like I will never stop loving you.
Nothing and no one will know and spoil what and who goes through my mind.
No matter how much or little I see of you I love no one else.
No matter how hard it is to say goodbye, my patients don't run out for you. 17.12.2001
It's too hard to say goodbye once I have seen you.
I know it could or and seem like a long time until I see you again.
No matter how much I miss you, I will never give up on you.
No matter what life is like I will never stop loving you.
Nothing and no one will know and spoil what and who goes through my mind.
No matter how much or little I see of you I love no one else.
No matter how hard it is to say goodbye, my patients don't run out for you. 17.12.2001
New poems of 2011
I'm alone not
alone.
Loneliness is my friend who doesn't reply back when been spoken to.
Loneliness is my home.
If I want a reply to what I say I'm out and about.
Night time is the time when I'm out even if people don't speak to me.
Life carries on without you even though I love you so much.
When I'm out I don't if and when I see you again but seeing little of you suit me fine.
My bed is calling and waiting for me at the end of the night or the morning light.
Loneliness is waiting for me yet again therefore no one knows my private thoughts about me and you other than me and you.
When I can't sleep I think about you.
When I sleep I have deep dreams about you.
If I sleep at all woken by heavy traffic and very strong winds, how very strange?
I'm not a lone to be alone. 18.9.2011
Loneliness is my friend who doesn't reply back when been spoken to.
Loneliness is my home.
If I want a reply to what I say I'm out and about.
Night time is the time when I'm out even if people don't speak to me.
Life carries on without you even though I love you so much.
When I'm out I don't if and when I see you again but seeing little of you suit me fine.
My bed is calling and waiting for me at the end of the night or the morning light.
Loneliness is waiting for me yet again therefore no one knows my private thoughts about me and you other than me and you.
When I can't sleep I think about you.
When I sleep I have deep dreams about you.
If I sleep at all woken by heavy traffic and very strong winds, how very strange?
I'm not a lone to be alone. 18.9.2011
Sorry
I can't sleep.
I keep counting sheep every time I try to sleep.
May be I have lost count of the sheep.
They keep me awake by saying.
Baa baa!
It seems like a thousand years since I saw you to love you or sorry was it only today or yesterday?
We may have to wait to see one another forever; it may be today, tomorrow, whenever or never.
Never mind look forward to seeing you next time whenever that is.
I may not be a very good sleeper but mornings are now too cold to get out of bed.
It's too warm in bed.18.9.2011
never ending!
It's not always possible to love the same person forever.
The good is not spending a lot of time together.
The bad is too many heart breaks.
Love seems to be a never ending circle from one lover to other.
Happiness last as long or as short as it's meant to be.
Loving one person for life these days is very rare.
I don't think forever love will happen to me, which one way is a good thing but another way is a bad thing.
I've cried so many times over broken love, I guess I have many tears to come.
I've been happy so many times in love I guess more love to come that more than likely won't last.
Love starts and ends.
It's hard to know whether to believe in hope or not.
I guess commitment isn't always cut out to be these days. 18.9.2011
I keep counting sheep every time I try to sleep.
May be I have lost count of the sheep.
They keep me awake by saying.
Baa baa!
It seems like a thousand years since I saw you to love you or sorry was it only today or yesterday?
We may have to wait to see one another forever; it may be today, tomorrow, whenever or never.
Never mind look forward to seeing you next time whenever that is.
I may not be a very good sleeper but mornings are now too cold to get out of bed.
It's too warm in bed.18.9.2011
never ending!
It's not always possible to love the same person forever.
The good is not spending a lot of time together.
The bad is too many heart breaks.
Love seems to be a never ending circle from one lover to other.
Happiness last as long or as short as it's meant to be.
Loving one person for life these days is very rare.
I don't think forever love will happen to me, which one way is a good thing but another way is a bad thing.
I've cried so many times over broken love, I guess I have many tears to come.
I've been happy so many times in love I guess more love to come that more than likely won't last.
Love starts and ends.
It's hard to know whether to believe in hope or not.
I guess commitment isn't always cut out to be these days. 18.9.2011
The
sun isn't bright enough without you.
It's been a long time since I saw the sky the night before the sun.
The air is too cold for the birds to fly.
The sun isn't warm or bright enough without you.
I think about you nonstop.
I can never seem to give up on your love.
Nothing seems to stop me feeling the way I do about you.
At times I'm in my own world.
You’re on my mind so much I can't sleep.
When I'm a sleep it's hard to wake up, my dreams are so deep about you.
Sometimes I wish I could a bird so I could fly to you.
Every day is unknown whether it's a good or bad day.
I wish I climb trees to make and collect leaves to build a nest to rest at my very best.
I'm the bird of the sea, come fly with me.
As we hit the tide coming and out with the waves under our feet, that is the love of you. 18.9.2011
It's been a long time since I saw the sky the night before the sun.
The air is too cold for the birds to fly.
The sun isn't warm or bright enough without you.
I think about you nonstop.
I can never seem to give up on your love.
Nothing seems to stop me feeling the way I do about you.
At times I'm in my own world.
You’re on my mind so much I can't sleep.
When I'm a sleep it's hard to wake up, my dreams are so deep about you.
Sometimes I wish I could a bird so I could fly to you.
Every day is unknown whether it's a good or bad day.
I wish I climb trees to make and collect leaves to build a nest to rest at my very best.
I'm the bird of the sea, come fly with me.
As we hit the tide coming and out with the waves under our feet, that is the love of you. 18.9.2011
Change of seasons.
There's no longer a long winter.
There's no longer a long summer.
The weather has a mind of its own at any time all year round.
Paint a picture of an ideal world.
The sky.
The sun.
The sea.
The sand.
The trees.
The gardens.
So the list goes on.
No winter is winter in winter time, its winter when it wants to be.
The snowman for children is now a fairly tale dream. 18.9.2011
Keep
the mind busy.
Never do anything.
Boredom affects the mind.
Boredom makes you feel sad.
There's never any reason to do nothing.
Despite of the country going down money wise not everything costs in life, even though we don't enough to pay for what the country costs.
We must be thankful for what we have got.
I know some of us have less than others but that's life.
One way or another we are all in the same boat.
Money help but it's not all there is to life.
Life would be boring if it was all the same.
We would be too spoil and greedy if we all had our way.
There would be nothing left in the world then we'd be even sadder.
People who want everything all the time are boring and sad people.
People who want something for nothing need to get a life when there are people who loved to work but have good reasons not to.
Be happy for the good things accept the bad things.
Life is what you make it, only you can make bad into good.
If you wait you will get more. 26.4.2012 - 18.6.2012
Never do anything.
Boredom affects the mind.
Boredom makes you feel sad.
There's never any reason to do nothing.
Despite of the country going down money wise not everything costs in life, even though we don't enough to pay for what the country costs.
We must be thankful for what we have got.
I know some of us have less than others but that's life.
One way or another we are all in the same boat.
Money help but it's not all there is to life.
Life would be boring if it was all the same.
We would be too spoil and greedy if we all had our way.
There would be nothing left in the world then we'd be even sadder.
People who want everything all the time are boring and sad people.
People who want something for nothing need to get a life when there are people who loved to work but have good reasons not to.
Be happy for the good things accept the bad things.
Life is what you make it, only you can make bad into good.
If you wait you will get more. 26.4.2012 - 18.6.2012
Guilt
and regret.
I just prepared myself for the worst.
What I regret is you having to see and hear my row with him.
I didn't want to creative a row, I know it wasn't nice but I felt I had to speak my mind; I had no other way of telling him.
As weeks would have went on I would have felt even more tense been in his company, this wouldn't have been fare on you and anyone else so I thought I say what I was going to say and not come again.
As much as you and I may miss one another, I thought it was far better I stopped going there rather than things getting worse because of me not liking him.
Some people I can accept, if I don't like them depending on what I don't like about them.
He one of the very few people I can't stand sitting in the same room with, otherwise I wouldn't have said anything to him.
To me he has such a dry sense of humour but sorry maybe it's just me.
I understand that it's cause us to see even less of one another but I haven't given up on you and me.
I'm so glad that you haven't given up on you and me either.
I will look forward to our time together whenever it will be.
Even if I just see you around for a chat, however short or long amount of time is good enough for me.
It's not just all about me it's about how you feel too.
Missing you may be painful but thinking about you is happiness.
No matter what happens I'm here to stay, no matter how life is or will be or and may be.
Even though I don't see a lot of you, loving feelings and thoughts inside me won't go away.
Thank you for been there for me whenever you can.
I hope you feel the same way about me too.
To prove how much I loved you, I will carry on accepting whatever life is.
If I had stopped coming without telling you a reason, you may have thought I have gone off with another man.
I love you far too much to love anyone else. 16.5.2012 - 18.6.2012
you give me happiness.
You give me happiness.
You give me light.
You brighten up my day and night when you turn on the light.
Time seemed like forever until I see you again.18.5.2012 - 18.6.2012
I just prepared myself for the worst.
What I regret is you having to see and hear my row with him.
I didn't want to creative a row, I know it wasn't nice but I felt I had to speak my mind; I had no other way of telling him.
As weeks would have went on I would have felt even more tense been in his company, this wouldn't have been fare on you and anyone else so I thought I say what I was going to say and not come again.
As much as you and I may miss one another, I thought it was far better I stopped going there rather than things getting worse because of me not liking him.
Some people I can accept, if I don't like them depending on what I don't like about them.
He one of the very few people I can't stand sitting in the same room with, otherwise I wouldn't have said anything to him.
To me he has such a dry sense of humour but sorry maybe it's just me.
I understand that it's cause us to see even less of one another but I haven't given up on you and me.
I'm so glad that you haven't given up on you and me either.
I will look forward to our time together whenever it will be.
Even if I just see you around for a chat, however short or long amount of time is good enough for me.
It's not just all about me it's about how you feel too.
Missing you may be painful but thinking about you is happiness.
No matter what happens I'm here to stay, no matter how life is or will be or and may be.
Even though I don't see a lot of you, loving feelings and thoughts inside me won't go away.
Thank you for been there for me whenever you can.
I hope you feel the same way about me too.
To prove how much I loved you, I will carry on accepting whatever life is.
If I had stopped coming without telling you a reason, you may have thought I have gone off with another man.
I love you far too much to love anyone else. 16.5.2012 - 18.6.2012
you give me happiness.
You give me happiness.
You give me light.
You brighten up my day and night when you turn on the light.
Time seemed like forever until I see you again.18.5.2012 - 18.6.2012
No
greater feeling than love.
When you’re happy in love you forget sadness.
Too much love can be so happy that it can turn into sadness.
To know I have you the sun always sun shine.
When I don't see you the sun isn't bright enough.
It always rains without you. 18.5.2012 - 18.6.2012
I thought you'd gone for good.
I was so surprised to see you that night.
You made my light.
How wrong was I to think your feelings had changed towards me because of him?
Please forgive for worrying too much its part of my disabilities and health problems.
I am glad to know that you still feel the same as I do.
I never thought you'd speak to me again let alone love me again.
I miss you so much but hopefully I will see you next time. 2.6.2012 - 18.6.2012
When you’re happy in love you forget sadness.
Too much love can be so happy that it can turn into sadness.
To know I have you the sun always sun shine.
When I don't see you the sun isn't bright enough.
It always rains without you. 18.5.2012 - 18.6.2012
I thought you'd gone for good.
I was so surprised to see you that night.
You made my light.
How wrong was I to think your feelings had changed towards me because of him?
Please forgive for worrying too much its part of my disabilities and health problems.
I am glad to know that you still feel the same as I do.
I never thought you'd speak to me again let alone love me again.
I miss you so much but hopefully I will see you next time. 2.6.2012 - 18.6.2012
Looking in the mirror, what do I see?
When times are hard you seem to think they won't get easy but if you give it time some things will others won't.
Not everything can be the same.
You mustn't feel alone because you are not others go through not much different if not the same.
No one can tell you other than you how you think and feel.
They are so right you are so wrong but that's not always the case, there's a slim chance you could be right they could be wrong.
They know it all because they have all been there before.
The truth is unknown, the whole world is blind.
The truth hurts when that's how you don't want to see your life but if you accept something else will turn out better than what you had in the first place.
Feelings and thoughts are hard to control when you want something or someone.
No matter how wrong it may be you can't move until those feelings and thought have, the only way is to let go if you start see it that it isn't right, which the hardest.
It won't get better if it's not working.
I never knew Keats was a poet.
I had never heard of Keats before.
I never knew his heart was broken just like mine but in a different time.
I never knew he'd inspire me to be a poet. I was stronger than I thought. I coped with exams, stress, studying and depression.
As a twenty - seven year old English student I walked along the college library.
What did I see? All I saw was Keats on a cover of a book looking how I felt at the time.
I read his poetry of broken love, which inspired me because he faced near enough the same as me.
I never knew he wrote about his feelings at that time.
When I look at the picture of him it was as if I saw myself in the mirror.
Until I read his work I had no idea that we had a poetry talent between us.
I was totally unaware what book I was picking up and what to except inside it.
Both of us lived in different times.
I never knew he shared the same subject as me, romance and broken romance.
That's when I knew I wasn't alone. He died of a broken heart,
I didn't but I once thought I was going to. If he hadn't of inspired me,
I believe my talent would have been unknown.
Ode to a Nightingale' is my best poem by John Keats. 21.5.2012
When times are hard you seem to think they won't get easy but if you give it time some things will others won't.
Not everything can be the same.
You mustn't feel alone because you are not others go through not much different if not the same.
No one can tell you other than you how you think and feel.
They are so right you are so wrong but that's not always the case, there's a slim chance you could be right they could be wrong.
They know it all because they have all been there before.
The truth is unknown, the whole world is blind.
The truth hurts when that's how you don't want to see your life but if you accept something else will turn out better than what you had in the first place.
Feelings and thoughts are hard to control when you want something or someone.
No matter how wrong it may be you can't move until those feelings and thought have, the only way is to let go if you start see it that it isn't right, which the hardest.
It won't get better if it's not working.
I never knew Keats was a poet.
I had never heard of Keats before.
I never knew his heart was broken just like mine but in a different time.
I never knew he'd inspire me to be a poet. I was stronger than I thought. I coped with exams, stress, studying and depression.
As a twenty - seven year old English student I walked along the college library.
What did I see? All I saw was Keats on a cover of a book looking how I felt at the time.
I read his poetry of broken love, which inspired me because he faced near enough the same as me.
I never knew he wrote about his feelings at that time.
When I look at the picture of him it was as if I saw myself in the mirror.
Until I read his work I had no idea that we had a poetry talent between us.
I was totally unaware what book I was picking up and what to except inside it.
Both of us lived in different times.
I never knew he shared the same subject as me, romance and broken romance.
That's when I knew I wasn't alone. He died of a broken heart,
I didn't but I once thought I was going to. If he hadn't of inspired me,
I believe my talent would have been unknown.
Ode to a Nightingale' is my best poem by John Keats. 21.5.2012
It was a dark time.
Back in October 1996 - August 1997 I drank heavy.
Every time I drank I thought my problems would go away.
Problems were still there the next day.
I thought my loneliness would be there day after day for the rest of my life. I felt as if life wasn't worth living. I couldn't see the wood through the trees.
Near enough twelve months of sadness seemed like a life time for me.
One bright side of John Keats he inspired me to write. John Keats work was the first poetry I came across in 1997 at the age of 27. 21.5.2012
Wake up.
Wake up; life would be boring there was happiest every morning.
Good and bad things can happen without a warning.
Do not dream, wish and hear things that don't happen.
You can't have your own way every day.
The truth is how it is whether you want to hear it or not. 13.8.2012 - 17.8.2012
Dyspraxia
I could never do up my buttons.
I could never do up my laces.
I could never clean my teeth how they should be cleaned.
My mouth is too small with too many teeth, food just get's everywhere it always has but I love it.
Exercise is hard to access when you have Dyspraxia.
I can't catch or throw a ball.
I couldn't even open a tin with a tin opener but then I discovered how to use the old fashioned tin openers after.
I love going to the pub, I'm useless with money then I over spend.
I have never been very good at maths.
I am more can with English and words but I even get confused there because of my Dyslexia.
In a poem I can express my disabilities in a poem better than I can to people.
I am more skills with my writing and raising learning disability awareness than everyday living skills. 13.8.2012 - 17.8.2012
Back in October 1996 - August 1997 I drank heavy.
Every time I drank I thought my problems would go away.
Problems were still there the next day.
I thought my loneliness would be there day after day for the rest of my life. I felt as if life wasn't worth living. I couldn't see the wood through the trees.
Near enough twelve months of sadness seemed like a life time for me.
One bright side of John Keats he inspired me to write. John Keats work was the first poetry I came across in 1997 at the age of 27. 21.5.2012
Wake up.
Wake up; life would be boring there was happiest every morning.
Good and bad things can happen without a warning.
Do not dream, wish and hear things that don't happen.
You can't have your own way every day.
The truth is how it is whether you want to hear it or not. 13.8.2012 - 17.8.2012
Dyspraxia
I could never do up my buttons.
I could never do up my laces.
I could never clean my teeth how they should be cleaned.
My mouth is too small with too many teeth, food just get's everywhere it always has but I love it.
Exercise is hard to access when you have Dyspraxia.
I can't catch or throw a ball.
I couldn't even open a tin with a tin opener but then I discovered how to use the old fashioned tin openers after.
I love going to the pub, I'm useless with money then I over spend.
I have never been very good at maths.
I am more can with English and words but I even get confused there because of my Dyslexia.
In a poem I can express my disabilities in a poem better than I can to people.
I am more skills with my writing and raising learning disability awareness than everyday living skills. 13.8.2012 - 17.8.2012
Wolverhampton City.
Either dead as a door nail or full of crime.
This city was once a lovely town.
I still see it as town; it's too small to be a town in my eyes.
Beggars picking nub ends off the streets and begging people for money.
This shows how Britain is getting weak.
Britain is too over crowded; we are spending money we can't affront.
What has happened to Great Britain that's just Britain?
The council has wasted money on a bus station that doesn't get used because not all the buses go there.
Most of the buses are messed around the town or should I say city?
It's hard to say what will the future of Britain will be.
Today's children don't know what's right from wrong, which causes crime, how will their children learn right from wrong?
Too many prisons full up and too many people committing crime.
Life should be the time for crime.
There are computers, internet, iPod s, mobile phones and the world is not enough or is it too much?
May be there's too much greed in the world.
There were more smiles on faces when we were just playing snakes and ladders. 13.8.2012 - 17.8.2012
Moon under Water.
Cheapest pub in Wolverhampton for food and drink.
More people yet very dead.
May be not having any music takes away the atmosphere.
I guess we get what we pay for.
Friday and Saturday nights busiest nights of all.
Young people talking loud, screaming and knocking the shots back, maybe I am showing my age.13.8.2012 - 17.8.2012
Either dead as a door nail or full of crime.
This city was once a lovely town.
I still see it as town; it's too small to be a town in my eyes.
Beggars picking nub ends off the streets and begging people for money.
This shows how Britain is getting weak.
Britain is too over crowded; we are spending money we can't affront.
What has happened to Great Britain that's just Britain?
The council has wasted money on a bus station that doesn't get used because not all the buses go there.
Most of the buses are messed around the town or should I say city?
It's hard to say what will the future of Britain will be.
Today's children don't know what's right from wrong, which causes crime, how will their children learn right from wrong?
Too many prisons full up and too many people committing crime.
Life should be the time for crime.
There are computers, internet, iPod s, mobile phones and the world is not enough or is it too much?
May be there's too much greed in the world.
There were more smiles on faces when we were just playing snakes and ladders. 13.8.2012 - 17.8.2012
Moon under Water.
Cheapest pub in Wolverhampton for food and drink.
More people yet very dead.
May be not having any music takes away the atmosphere.
I guess we get what we pay for.
Friday and Saturday nights busiest nights of all.
Young people talking loud, screaming and knocking the shots back, maybe I am showing my age.13.8.2012 - 17.8.2012
Changes.
No central heating.
Cold in classrooms where our coats in lessons.
Play outside build a snowman and throw snow balls.
Games of Snakes and Ladders, Tilley winks and Frustration.
Get detention and lines if you were naughty.
The slap off the rulers didn't do us any harm.
Coal and gas fire.
Telephone boxes if no landlines.
Long walks in the snow to make phone calls.
Kids walking to school for miles whatever the weather.
Less traffic on the roads.
Prices were cheaper when look back compared with today. 13.8.2012 - 17.8.2012
Time to keep strong.
It's not just about my feelings, it's about your feelings too.
If enough is enough just let me know, even though I think so much of you I will leave you alone.
You don't have to give reasons why when I can work them out for myself, no one is in the wrong.
Sorry for what I have done.
I speak my mind and I speak the truth.
However you feel I need to know so if your feelings don't match with mine I can get on with my life.
If only I knew what is going through your mind.
Don't be scared to tell me it's not as if I haven't been there before.
Sorry if things didn't work out if they haven't at least we tried.
May be things didn't work out to what we hoped.
As hard as it is I had to be honest to you, I couldn't have lied to you.
All I know is that I miss you so much. 12.10.12
No central heating.
Cold in classrooms where our coats in lessons.
Play outside build a snowman and throw snow balls.
Games of Snakes and Ladders, Tilley winks and Frustration.
Get detention and lines if you were naughty.
The slap off the rulers didn't do us any harm.
Coal and gas fire.
Telephone boxes if no landlines.
Long walks in the snow to make phone calls.
Kids walking to school for miles whatever the weather.
Less traffic on the roads.
Prices were cheaper when look back compared with today. 13.8.2012 - 17.8.2012
Time to keep strong.
It's not just about my feelings, it's about your feelings too.
If enough is enough just let me know, even though I think so much of you I will leave you alone.
You don't have to give reasons why when I can work them out for myself, no one is in the wrong.
Sorry for what I have done.
I speak my mind and I speak the truth.
However you feel I need to know so if your feelings don't match with mine I can get on with my life.
If only I knew what is going through your mind.
Don't be scared to tell me it's not as if I haven't been there before.
Sorry if things didn't work out if they haven't at least we tried.
May be things didn't work out to what we hoped.
As hard as it is I had to be honest to you, I couldn't have lied to you.
All I know is that I miss you so much. 12.10.12
Need
to know the reasons.
I know I told you in the text that I sent you that I wanted to know the reasons why we have to part.
I have tried to put the reasons out of my mind behind but I just can’t.
Sorry
to say that I’m going out of my mind.
I need to know if I have done anything wrong, if so what?
I don't want to make you love me if you don't love me.
I need to know if I have done anything wrong, if so what?
I don't want to make you love me if you don't love me.
Somehow
some way I need to move on.
How
long have you been fed up of me?
Didn't I show you enough love?
Wasn't I there when you wanted me to be there or was I there when you didn't want me to be there?
I don’t want to force you into another you don’t want to do.
I love and care for you too much to put stress on you I love you so much I will need to let you go, which is hard to do.
Didn't I show you enough love?
Wasn't I there when you wanted me to be there or was I there when you didn't want me to be there?
I don’t want to force you into another you don’t want to do.
I love and care for you too much to put stress on you I love you so much I will need to let you go, which is hard to do.
Even
though I have a rough idea of the reason why, I need to be sure I'm right in
some cases I hope I'm wrong.
I may have done nothing wrong it may be something that's no one’s' fault.
I've always prepared myself for the worst because nothing has lasted for me in the past.
Take your time to tell me I will wait forever, I guess I only have myself to blame.
I feel as if I'm in a black hole, I feel so sad.
I know I have my conscience to fight.
All I need is a peace of mind.
I can't believe I've hurt the one I love so much.
I know I won't get anyone better than you.
The next one will be like the rest of them therefore it won't last.
I want to move forward not back.
I've blew it with it right one, which is you.
I may have done nothing wrong it may be something that's no one’s' fault.
I've always prepared myself for the worst because nothing has lasted for me in the past.
Take your time to tell me I will wait forever, I guess I only have myself to blame.
I feel as if I'm in a black hole, I feel so sad.
I know I have my conscience to fight.
All I need is a peace of mind.
I can't believe I've hurt the one I love so much.
I know I won't get anyone better than you.
The next one will be like the rest of them therefore it won't last.
I want to move forward not back.
I've blew it with it right one, which is you.
Didn't
I treat you right?
Put me right on what I did wrong so I don't make the same mistake again.
Right now I'm going out of my mind.
Whether it's in my face, letter text or phone please let me know.
My last love finished with me because I was around him too much.
Having learned from that mistake, I have tried so hard to be independent or have I become too independent?
I thought you'd like your women independent, we never saw that much of one another anyway.
Please tell me how I can keep a man happy?
I know I washed my hands of him, which caused us to see even less of one another, but at least I saw you for a little while, how should that affect us when he didn't know about us?
If I hadn't have turned up because of him, you may have thought I was cheating on you, that's what I wouldn't do. 16.10.2012
Put me right on what I did wrong so I don't make the same mistake again.
Right now I'm going out of my mind.
Whether it's in my face, letter text or phone please let me know.
My last love finished with me because I was around him too much.
Having learned from that mistake, I have tried so hard to be independent or have I become too independent?
I thought you'd like your women independent, we never saw that much of one another anyway.
Please tell me how I can keep a man happy?
I know I washed my hands of him, which caused us to see even less of one another, but at least I saw you for a little while, how should that affect us when he didn't know about us?
If I hadn't have turned up because of him, you may have thought I was cheating on you, that's what I wouldn't do. 16.10.2012
Time to move on.
Now that you have gone for well the days and nights seem longer than before we parted.
Even though we spend little time together when we were together, it's as if a big part of my life is missing, I'm missing you a lot more.
Although I will see you again someday as just friends this will take some getting used to, it won't be the same as before.
It's good to know that there was no lying, falling out and cheating.
Don't worry it's not a lot different than it was before after all, your secret is still safe with me, just the same as it was when we were together.
I need to write poetry to keep myself stable and help myself to move on.
I need to accept what you want.
I don't regret a single minute of time we spend together.
I understand why it had to end but I wouldn't like to say I would love to go back to where it was again. 30.10.2012
you turn on and off like a light.
I can take no more of your pain, your mind turns on and off like a light.
One minute your mind is rain then it shines.
I never know how long your mine,
If I take anymore of your change of mind, I will blew the fuse and go out of my mind.
You change like the weather winter, summer and spring.
If the water catches wires it will pull out the fire.
If I let you carry on, I will blow a storm that will rise to fire, 30.10.2012
winter is coming.
The winter is coming; the cold is coming without you.
Dark mornings and dark nights as the cold frost bites into the morning light.
The days are shorter and the nights are longer without you.
Six mouth of winter go on forever after the clocks go back.
Time seems late than what it is because winter is so dark.
The cold is longer without you. 30.10.2012
Now that you have gone for well the days and nights seem longer than before we parted.
Even though we spend little time together when we were together, it's as if a big part of my life is missing, I'm missing you a lot more.
Although I will see you again someday as just friends this will take some getting used to, it won't be the same as before.
It's good to know that there was no lying, falling out and cheating.
Don't worry it's not a lot different than it was before after all, your secret is still safe with me, just the same as it was when we were together.
I need to write poetry to keep myself stable and help myself to move on.
I need to accept what you want.
I don't regret a single minute of time we spend together.
I understand why it had to end but I wouldn't like to say I would love to go back to where it was again. 30.10.2012
you turn on and off like a light.
I can take no more of your pain, your mind turns on and off like a light.
One minute your mind is rain then it shines.
I never know how long your mine,
If I take anymore of your change of mind, I will blew the fuse and go out of my mind.
You change like the weather winter, summer and spring.
If the water catches wires it will pull out the fire.
If I let you carry on, I will blow a storm that will rise to fire, 30.10.2012
winter is coming.
The winter is coming; the cold is coming without you.
Dark mornings and dark nights as the cold frost bites into the morning light.
The days are shorter and the nights are longer without you.
Six mouth of winter go on forever after the clocks go back.
Time seems late than what it is because winter is so dark.
The cold is longer without you. 30.10.2012
Moving forward.
The door has closed but it's too cold yet for other doors to open.
It doesn't seem as if there are anymore doors to open as I have walked through them all.
If there' anymore doors to open they will open in the spring ready for the summer.
Walk into autumn doors will close for winter.
The future is an unknown world. 30.10.2012
the stormy sea.
The boats are sinking as the tide goes in and out as people shout floating about.
Most people dream of living near the sea you see.
The sea can be a nightmare as well as a dream you sea.
It's not all it cuts out to be you see.
Furniture damage, power cuts and electrically going on and off.
As the sea stops rushing it will calm down in time.
The boats will peacefully float.
The sun set will rise as it shines surfing, slipping and sliding. 30.10.2012
Washing machine.
It seems as if the world is a big wash out.
The washing machine seemed to be going on forever.
The timer was only set for 30 minutes, as it went on longer.
It stooped just before I went to the shops.
The door took ages to open as the water came out like a shower onto the floor.
I gabbed anything I could to soak up the water quick as I could.
Strangely when I saw the news the same day, the Americans were up to their necks of Super Storm Sandy.
The stormy sea cussing damage to homes, power cuts, electrically going on and off.
Anything, everything and everyone in sight the storm will fright to fight. 30.10.2012
Halloween and Bonfire night.
Halloween and Bonfire night as near together as Halloween gets ready for Bonfire night.
It all happened on two very dark stormily nights not a very nice sight nothing very bright.
The creatures were stirred into the witches' pots for soup on Halloween night ready for Bonfire night.
Both nights were wet, rainy and windy not a pretty sight.
Halloween night is when the witches bite as they fly on their broom and kite.
Witches don't give up without a fright to fight.
Bonfire night is the night when the witches get burned alive on the bonfire. 1.11.2012
The door has closed but it's too cold yet for other doors to open.
It doesn't seem as if there are anymore doors to open as I have walked through them all.
If there' anymore doors to open they will open in the spring ready for the summer.
Walk into autumn doors will close for winter.
The future is an unknown world. 30.10.2012
the stormy sea.
The boats are sinking as the tide goes in and out as people shout floating about.
Most people dream of living near the sea you see.
The sea can be a nightmare as well as a dream you sea.
It's not all it cuts out to be you see.
Furniture damage, power cuts and electrically going on and off.
As the sea stops rushing it will calm down in time.
The boats will peacefully float.
The sun set will rise as it shines surfing, slipping and sliding. 30.10.2012
Washing machine.
It seems as if the world is a big wash out.
The washing machine seemed to be going on forever.
The timer was only set for 30 minutes, as it went on longer.
It stooped just before I went to the shops.
The door took ages to open as the water came out like a shower onto the floor.
I gabbed anything I could to soak up the water quick as I could.
Strangely when I saw the news the same day, the Americans were up to their necks of Super Storm Sandy.
The stormy sea cussing damage to homes, power cuts, electrically going on and off.
Anything, everything and everyone in sight the storm will fright to fight. 30.10.2012
Halloween and Bonfire night.
Halloween and Bonfire night as near together as Halloween gets ready for Bonfire night.
It all happened on two very dark stormily nights not a very nice sight nothing very bright.
The creatures were stirred into the witches' pots for soup on Halloween night ready for Bonfire night.
Both nights were wet, rainy and windy not a pretty sight.
Halloween night is when the witches bite as they fly on their broom and kite.
Witches don't give up without a fright to fight.
Bonfire night is the night when the witches get burned alive on the bonfire. 1.11.2012
I know the truth hurts.
I know the truth hurts yet there's no one to blame, which is a good thing.
Never the less the truth hurts to lose your love.
Through non blamed reasons the feelings are hard to go away.
Just because I'm calm with you when I see you it doesn't mean I don't hurt.
May be I'm wrong but all the same I still have a lot of trust in you.
I still want to be your friend even though I can't be your love anymore.
How are you feeling, are you happy or sad to lose me?
I may not have cried or showed any signs of heartache but believe me it's all there.
I'm still strong but my emotions are there whether anyone can see them or not,
I'm coping alone because I've had so many heartaches before now.
All good things come to the end of our love.
To me you were the best better than all the rest and you still are.
If only I knew what was going through your mind,
I wonder how long it's been since you have gone off me. 5.11.2012
I know the truth hurts yet there's no one to blame, which is a good thing.
Never the less the truth hurts to lose your love.
Through non blamed reasons the feelings are hard to go away.
Just because I'm calm with you when I see you it doesn't mean I don't hurt.
May be I'm wrong but all the same I still have a lot of trust in you.
I still want to be your friend even though I can't be your love anymore.
How are you feeling, are you happy or sad to lose me?
I may not have cried or showed any signs of heartache but believe me it's all there.
I'm still strong but my emotions are there whether anyone can see them or not,
I'm coping alone because I've had so many heartaches before now.
All good things come to the end of our love.
To me you were the best better than all the rest and you still are.
If only I knew what was going through your mind,
I wonder how long it's been since you have gone off me. 5.11.2012
All good things come to the end.
Now it's all gone, there's no magic wand to bring us back together again.
I know nothing will be the same again.
Time to move on but the future is unknown.
Nothing has to go bitter.
Love doesn’t have to happen for us to get along.
There must be ways of facing one another without thinking about how we once were.
I have so many things to say to you.
So many reasons could be unknown to me.
I may be I'm thinking you could be hiding something away from me, how do I know?
I can trust you but it's hard to know as I saw so little of you.
I may be wrong I just need to make sure.
What are your thoughts that are going through your mind?
Why did it take me to text you for me to find out it were over?
Would you ever have told me if I hadn't have texted you?
When would you have told me it was over?
How long has it been since you have wanted it to end or didn't you wanted it to end? 5.11.2012
No more.
I took on your world because I loved you.
The most hurtful thing is that I still love you.
Yes I had the chance to say no to your world but I liked you so much.
It even hurts now to lose you but I know you had your reasons to do so.
As much as I want to accept that it's over its not easy.
Writing these poems keep me coping. 5.11.2012
Now it's all gone, there's no magic wand to bring us back together again.
I know nothing will be the same again.
Time to move on but the future is unknown.
Nothing has to go bitter.
Love doesn’t have to happen for us to get along.
There must be ways of facing one another without thinking about how we once were.
I have so many things to say to you.
So many reasons could be unknown to me.
I may be I'm thinking you could be hiding something away from me, how do I know?
I can trust you but it's hard to know as I saw so little of you.
I may be wrong I just need to make sure.
What are your thoughts that are going through your mind?
Why did it take me to text you for me to find out it were over?
Would you ever have told me if I hadn't have texted you?
When would you have told me it was over?
How long has it been since you have wanted it to end or didn't you wanted it to end? 5.11.2012
No more.
I took on your world because I loved you.
The most hurtful thing is that I still love you.
Yes I had the chance to say no to your world but I liked you so much.
It even hurts now to lose you but I know you had your reasons to do so.
As much as I want to accept that it's over its not easy.
Writing these poems keep me coping. 5.11.2012
I thought it was love.
I thought it was love but I guess it wasn't.
It was love that was just a dream if you know what I mean.
Whatever it was between us you were my secret lover and dream
the dream seemed good while lasted, why did it stop?
It all felt so good at the time.
With my luck there seems to be no such word as love.
It's all just a dream love book.
Happiest is just a dream book.
Now it makes you wonder what life is all about.
If only I knew the truth of happiness of falling in love because to what I have discovered it's never happened.
It was all in my mind, a dream and I was in a world of my own. 5.11.2012
Frozen.
The winter is frozen cold without your love.
Even though you saw me on my birthday, it was still not easy to see you again after the text message before my birthday.
Since then my world has been empty without you.
On the night of my birthday I didn't know what to say to you as I froze.
Although I faced you, I felt hurt inside, even though you told me the reason why.
Even now my feelings towards you are still here my dear.
I want to accept what you want; I don't want to give you a hard time.
The hardest thing for me is to get you off my mind. 5.11.2012
I thought it was love but I guess it wasn't.
It was love that was just a dream if you know what I mean.
Whatever it was between us you were my secret lover and dream
the dream seemed good while lasted, why did it stop?
It all felt so good at the time.
With my luck there seems to be no such word as love.
It's all just a dream love book.
Happiest is just a dream book.
Now it makes you wonder what life is all about.
If only I knew the truth of happiness of falling in love because to what I have discovered it's never happened.
It was all in my mind, a dream and I was in a world of my own. 5.11.2012
Frozen.
The winter is frozen cold without your love.
Even though you saw me on my birthday, it was still not easy to see you again after the text message before my birthday.
Since then my world has been empty without you.
On the night of my birthday I didn't know what to say to you as I froze.
Although I faced you, I felt hurt inside, even though you told me the reason why.
Even now my feelings towards you are still here my dear.
I want to accept what you want; I don't want to give you a hard time.
The hardest thing for me is to get you off my mind. 5.11.2012
Now what?
How can I forget you when I know I should?
If only I knew how you felt about me.
If only I knew how you'd react to my poems.
Were both of us just a dream, if not why can't I get you out of my head?
Nothing seems to be happening now.
Was I just reading things when I read your text or was I just having a nightmare?
Something doesn't feel right inside of me.
Why do I feel so empty inside?
Nothing seems the same anymore, 5.11.2012
how can I forget?
How can I forget when we first met?
I didn't have a thought in the world.
I never took a great of notice of you been there yet I was facing another heartache.
Even when I sat next to you for the first time the thought of love wasn't on my mind.
Little did I realise that I'd even get talking to you.
Little did I realise that I'd get like you like I still do now.
Little did I realise that you would become interested in me at the time.
Soon as I felt the same as you did, I never wanted it to end.
Suddenly you don't feel the same way anymore now this is what I find hard to get used to. 5.11.2012
the way you felt about me.
The way you felt about me in the beginning is different to how you feel now.
If only I didn't still love you like I do.
In time I will get through this just like I have had with others in my past life; it will just take its own time to get used to you not being mined anymore.
Both of us have gone through this pain alone.
Not really me when I can turn to my pen, paper, computer and poetry. 6.11.2012
May be if I say nothing to you.
May be if I say nothing at all to you.
You won't know how I feel about the break up.
May be if I don't take your thoughts and feelings into accounting either.
When we were to together nothing was said to anyone.
I'm here to share your thoughts and feelings if you want in hopes we are here for one another just the same as we were.
Our love was a secret to the world so is our break up. 6.11.2012
it was never to be.
I know I don't know what you are thinking.
The tears inside me I can't cry.
I know it hurts me to know that I'll never be yours again.
I thought you were the one for me but how wrong was I?
Where do I go now?
How do you think I should think and feel?
How can I forget you when I know I should?
If only I knew how you felt about me.
If only I knew how you'd react to my poems.
Were both of us just a dream, if not why can't I get you out of my head?
Nothing seems to be happening now.
Was I just reading things when I read your text or was I just having a nightmare?
Something doesn't feel right inside of me.
Why do I feel so empty inside?
Nothing seems the same anymore, 5.11.2012
how can I forget?
How can I forget when we first met?
I didn't have a thought in the world.
I never took a great of notice of you been there yet I was facing another heartache.
Even when I sat next to you for the first time the thought of love wasn't on my mind.
Little did I realise that I'd even get talking to you.
Little did I realise that I'd get like you like I still do now.
Little did I realise that you would become interested in me at the time.
Soon as I felt the same as you did, I never wanted it to end.
Suddenly you don't feel the same way anymore now this is what I find hard to get used to. 5.11.2012
the way you felt about me.
The way you felt about me in the beginning is different to how you feel now.
If only I didn't still love you like I do.
In time I will get through this just like I have had with others in my past life; it will just take its own time to get used to you not being mined anymore.
Both of us have gone through this pain alone.
Not really me when I can turn to my pen, paper, computer and poetry. 6.11.2012
May be if I say nothing to you.
May be if I say nothing at all to you.
You won't know how I feel about the break up.
May be if I don't take your thoughts and feelings into accounting either.
When we were to together nothing was said to anyone.
I'm here to share your thoughts and feelings if you want in hopes we are here for one another just the same as we were.
Our love was a secret to the world so is our break up. 6.11.2012
it was never to be.
I know I don't know what you are thinking.
The tears inside me I can't cry.
I know it hurts me to know that I'll never be yours again.
I thought you were the one for me but how wrong was I?
Where do I go now?
How do you think I should think and feel?
May
be I shouldn't care less but the problem is that I do.
If only I could clear you out of my mind.
If only I could tell you how I think and feel with you thinking and feeling the same way. 6.11.2012
I feel so low.
I feel so low and empty without you.
How did I meet you?
How did I fall for you?
How did I get myself in this state?
Why did I build up my hopes that you were the one for me?
I remember I was going through with heartache with someone else when I first met you.
Now feel the same now as I did then.
It never seems to end.
I don't want anyone but you.
Now I have tell myself that in time I will meet someone new just as I had to when I broke up with all the other lovers.
This is hard to believe to how I feel now, 6.11.2012
doesn’t think because I'm alone.
Only because I'm alone doesn't mean I'm free to love anyone for a long time.
As far your mind works, I'm not a free woman because you don't know I'm single.
I want to move forward not back in my life.
I don't need you to mess my head around anymore.
Now I'm staying away from you.
Don't think because I'm alone that I'm coming back into your life because I'm not.
I will make sure that you won't know whether I'm single or not.
I'm keeping away from you so you don't get your chance to love me to hurt me again.
Love, you don't even know what the word love means.
May be I am lonely but it's better than being with you to hurt me all over again like you have so many times before.
How many chances do you want?
If only I could clear you out of my mind.
If only I could tell you how I think and feel with you thinking and feeling the same way. 6.11.2012
I feel so low.
I feel so low and empty without you.
How did I meet you?
How did I fall for you?
How did I get myself in this state?
Why did I build up my hopes that you were the one for me?
I remember I was going through with heartache with someone else when I first met you.
Now feel the same now as I did then.
It never seems to end.
I don't want anyone but you.
Now I have tell myself that in time I will meet someone new just as I had to when I broke up with all the other lovers.
This is hard to believe to how I feel now, 6.11.2012
doesn’t think because I'm alone.
Only because I'm alone doesn't mean I'm free to love anyone for a long time.
As far your mind works, I'm not a free woman because you don't know I'm single.
I want to move forward not back in my life.
I don't need you to mess my head around anymore.
Now I'm staying away from you.
Don't think because I'm alone that I'm coming back into your life because I'm not.
I will make sure that you won't know whether I'm single or not.
I'm keeping away from you so you don't get your chance to love me to hurt me again.
Love, you don't even know what the word love means.
May be I am lonely but it's better than being with you to hurt me all over again like you have so many times before.
How many chances do you want?
If
you think I am wasting the rest of my life on you, then the news is bad for
you.
I'm not giving you an anymore chances for you to love me to hurt me again.
I find it hard to forgive and forget what you did to me.
Why should I forgive you at all?
I used to find it hard to stop loving now I find it hard to love again.
Why would I try to love you again after what you put me through?
Now I just have no trust in you yet once I believed in you so much.
I should never have gone back to you, I should have known better than giving you another chance.
I may well now be single, which could be for a long time but not forever, I believe I will met someone better than you one day.
The longer I am single the more he will be worth the wait as well as the date.
I don't want to love you for you to hurt me again.
You confused my mind and messed with my head with your silly mind games not knowing whether you wanted me or not.
I want someone who knows what and who he wants.
Now you have lost your chance to love me again.
You knew I used to love you so much that you played with head.
After losing you it took a long time to get my life back together again.
Little did I realise that I was better off without you, how blind was I?
Everyday I used to hope that you'd change but you just got worse.
Just because I'm alone it doesn't mean you can touch me because I feel nothing for you.
Nothing at all.
You may laugh now because I'm alone, it may be a long time but I'm more than willing to get back on my feet again so I won't be alone forever.
You don't break me anymore.
I have got my life back together before, I will do it again.
I feel nothing for you anymore.
You never loved me and cared for me as much as I did for you.
You didn't love me as much as I thought you did.
You didn't love me at all.
I can't believe I loved a man for 13 and a half years on and off who didn't love me.
Our relationship was based on you lying about your feelings towards me.
I was too blind to disbelieve you.
Time to move on.
It's time for me to stop turning up on your door step. 5.11.2012 -
18.11.2012
I'm not giving you an anymore chances for you to love me to hurt me again.
I find it hard to forgive and forget what you did to me.
Why should I forgive you at all?
I used to find it hard to stop loving now I find it hard to love again.
Why would I try to love you again after what you put me through?
Now I just have no trust in you yet once I believed in you so much.
I should never have gone back to you, I should have known better than giving you another chance.
I may well now be single, which could be for a long time but not forever, I believe I will met someone better than you one day.
The longer I am single the more he will be worth the wait as well as the date.
I don't want to love you for you to hurt me again.
You confused my mind and messed with my head with your silly mind games not knowing whether you wanted me or not.
I want someone who knows what and who he wants.
Now you have lost your chance to love me again.
You knew I used to love you so much that you played with head.
After losing you it took a long time to get my life back together again.
Little did I realise that I was better off without you, how blind was I?
Everyday I used to hope that you'd change but you just got worse.
Just because I'm alone it doesn't mean you can touch me because I feel nothing for you.
Nothing at all.
You may laugh now because I'm alone, it may be a long time but I'm more than willing to get back on my feet again so I won't be alone forever.
You don't break me anymore.
I have got my life back together before, I will do it again.
I feel nothing for you anymore.
You never loved me and cared for me as much as I did for you.
You didn't love me as much as I thought you did.
You didn't love me at all.
I can't believe I loved a man for 13 and a half years on and off who didn't love me.
Our relationship was based on you lying about your feelings towards me.
I was too blind to disbelieve you.
Time to move on.
It's time for me to stop turning up on your door step. 5.11.2012 -
18.11.2012
Mercy Bysshe Shelly.
Shelly who loved the water yet he married Mary Shelly who wrote Frankincense.
It's hard to think about Frankincense coming out of water.
How strange to know that Shelly ended his life drowning in water yet his body was burned underground with his ashes all over him.
May be Shelly's body may have gone to sea with his wife Mary if she didn't play next to Frankincense. 9.12.2012
hiding pain with a smile.
Sometimes the world can know too much about you.
Sometimes we should be free to have our secrets and cope alone with whatever goes wrong.
Drinking may not be the answer but tears are too locked in the eyes to cry.
Keeping ones' self busy is keeping ones' self going.
Now it's too easy to fear the future.
Not wanting to be alone but not having to deal with disappointed ended love.
It's hard to know what you do and don't want let alone what's going to happen.
Try not to think about it, just get on with it with a smile.
May be it's easy to smile but hard to stop thinking about you.
No matter how I try I find my feelings for you are hard to go. 9.12.2012
Time is passing by.
When I look at the world everyone is in love but not everyone.
Now I realise I'm like a ticking clock tricking so fast years are racing by yet I try not to wait for things to happen because they take too long.
It's easy to understand why every middle age person feels alone.
It's too easy to think this is the end of you when it's not.
It's too easy to feel alone when the world is full of young love.
Your never too old, you just forget that you were young in love once but never thought about the older ones alone.
The future is hard to see but your life isn't over yet, it just taken longer to mend when broken like it used to. 9.12.2012
when everyone knows.
When everyone knows nothing and no one is your own.
They think you only care about yourself, which is not true.
This can make you so misunderstood.
When everyone knows everything of yours nothing and no one is your own, it's there for everyone and everything.
We should all have rights to have something or someone our own. 9. 12.2012
Shelly who loved the water yet he married Mary Shelly who wrote Frankincense.
It's hard to think about Frankincense coming out of water.
How strange to know that Shelly ended his life drowning in water yet his body was burned underground with his ashes all over him.
May be Shelly's body may have gone to sea with his wife Mary if she didn't play next to Frankincense. 9.12.2012
hiding pain with a smile.
Sometimes the world can know too much about you.
Sometimes we should be free to have our secrets and cope alone with whatever goes wrong.
Drinking may not be the answer but tears are too locked in the eyes to cry.
Keeping ones' self busy is keeping ones' self going.
Now it's too easy to fear the future.
Not wanting to be alone but not having to deal with disappointed ended love.
It's hard to know what you do and don't want let alone what's going to happen.
Try not to think about it, just get on with it with a smile.
May be it's easy to smile but hard to stop thinking about you.
No matter how I try I find my feelings for you are hard to go. 9.12.2012
Time is passing by.
When I look at the world everyone is in love but not everyone.
Now I realise I'm like a ticking clock tricking so fast years are racing by yet I try not to wait for things to happen because they take too long.
It's easy to understand why every middle age person feels alone.
It's too easy to think this is the end of you when it's not.
It's too easy to feel alone when the world is full of young love.
Your never too old, you just forget that you were young in love once but never thought about the older ones alone.
The future is hard to see but your life isn't over yet, it just taken longer to mend when broken like it used to. 9.12.2012
when everyone knows.
When everyone knows nothing and no one is your own.
They think you only care about yourself, which is not true.
This can make you so misunderstood.
When everyone knows everything of yours nothing and no one is your own, it's there for everyone and everything.
We should all have rights to have something or someone our own. 9. 12.2012
A brave face.
Step into the world to show them your there.
Show them no fear even though you may have fear.
You are more than a stranger to them what they think.
You may worry more than you should.
The world may seem worse than what it is.
Once you have taken one step you can take another one.
Nothing lost anything gained.
Many things happen for the right reasons even they seem wrong. 9.12.2012
it’s hard but I will get by.
Not that you don't feel to same about me as you used to.
I feel lonelier than I did before.
Don't worry, don't feel bad.
Who am I, I know I am no one special at all?
Of course you are going to love again one day so will I.
He's out there somewhere but I don't know where.
I guess I won't meet him for a long time to come.
I believe he'll be just as nice as you but it's not fare to say better.
May be I live in fear of been alone but in fear of losing disappointed love again.
I guess I just accept too much without meaning to.
May be I should except to be loved or live in fear of love.
This could be why every relationship has failed.
I should stop feeling sorry for myself; I know I'm not alone.
May be loneliness isn't my problem, maybe it's the thought of getting old.
Then old age isn't a problem I hope I get wiser.
No rush to love again, I will take my time and won't be easy to get next time round.
Why should I go back to a bad boy after losing a good boy, maybe I will get a better boy next time? 9.12.2012
Step into the world to show them your there.
Show them no fear even though you may have fear.
You are more than a stranger to them what they think.
You may worry more than you should.
The world may seem worse than what it is.
Once you have taken one step you can take another one.
Nothing lost anything gained.
Many things happen for the right reasons even they seem wrong. 9.12.2012
it’s hard but I will get by.
Not that you don't feel to same about me as you used to.
I feel lonelier than I did before.
Don't worry, don't feel bad.
Who am I, I know I am no one special at all?
Of course you are going to love again one day so will I.
He's out there somewhere but I don't know where.
I guess I won't meet him for a long time to come.
I believe he'll be just as nice as you but it's not fare to say better.
May be I live in fear of been alone but in fear of losing disappointed love again.
I guess I just accept too much without meaning to.
May be I should except to be loved or live in fear of love.
This could be why every relationship has failed.
I should stop feeling sorry for myself; I know I'm not alone.
May be loneliness isn't my problem, maybe it's the thought of getting old.
Then old age isn't a problem I hope I get wiser.
No rush to love again, I will take my time and won't be easy to get next time round.
Why should I go back to a bad boy after losing a good boy, maybe I will get a better boy next time? 9.12.2012
Too scared to talk.
Too scared of saying the wrong thing even though one may mean it.
It may not be nice but it may be the truth.
One can be scared of the truth in a good way as well as a bad but then the truth isn't always what we want heard then we do, it's no good living in a lie.
Not wanting to hurt the feelings of others.
Not wanting to fall out with others because they can't agree with you and you can't agree with them.
Everyone has rights to their own views.
Not everyone gets along: not everyone doesn't get along.
Right or wrong you can't make feelings go away until feelings want to.
We all make mistakes: not all are mistakes.
It's what we say and do what matters; thinking is just thoughts not words. 9. 12. 2012
Understanding people.
The only people who understand we is we.
Freedom is important we without knowing it we control one another.
We are looked at as strange from strangers as if we have masks to cover as faces.
We are looked at as if we are wrong all the while.
We are looked as if we are not human.
We looked at if we are nuts and out of our minds all the time.
There's a fear if we are watched all the time.
As if what we do and say is wrong all the time.
A fear of been bitten, shouted at and hit because others don't see life like we do. 9.12.2012
Hard to trust.
To be able to trust is to know that there's faith that no one will judge you for what you do and say.
To be able to look at the world with ones' head up high without fear of strange looks.
It should be easy to believe on ones' self and others. 9.12.2012
loving too much.
If you love someone let them be themselves.
Don't try to make them love you because you love them.
One day your feelings will match with someone.
Be careful because many pretend to love you when they don't.
Don't pretend to love someone when you don't because then that's lying in love.
Be yourself, others will respect you.
The secret is to not let them know you love them, let them work it out for themselves, even better unless you know for sure they love you.
They will hate you if you force their feelings to be the same as yours.
Too scared of saying the wrong thing even though one may mean it.
It may not be nice but it may be the truth.
One can be scared of the truth in a good way as well as a bad but then the truth isn't always what we want heard then we do, it's no good living in a lie.
Not wanting to hurt the feelings of others.
Not wanting to fall out with others because they can't agree with you and you can't agree with them.
Everyone has rights to their own views.
Not everyone gets along: not everyone doesn't get along.
Right or wrong you can't make feelings go away until feelings want to.
We all make mistakes: not all are mistakes.
It's what we say and do what matters; thinking is just thoughts not words. 9. 12. 2012
Understanding people.
The only people who understand we is we.
Freedom is important we without knowing it we control one another.
We are looked at as strange from strangers as if we have masks to cover as faces.
We are looked at as if we are wrong all the while.
We are looked as if we are not human.
We looked at if we are nuts and out of our minds all the time.
There's a fear if we are watched all the time.
As if what we do and say is wrong all the time.
A fear of been bitten, shouted at and hit because others don't see life like we do. 9.12.2012
Hard to trust.
To be able to trust is to know that there's faith that no one will judge you for what you do and say.
To be able to look at the world with ones' head up high without fear of strange looks.
It should be easy to believe on ones' self and others. 9.12.2012
loving too much.
If you love someone let them be themselves.
Don't try to make them love you because you love them.
One day your feelings will match with someone.
Be careful because many pretend to love you when they don't.
Don't pretend to love someone when you don't because then that's lying in love.
Be yourself, others will respect you.
The secret is to not let them know you love them, let them work it out for themselves, even better unless you know for sure they love you.
They will hate you if you force their feelings to be the same as yours.
They
will play with your feelings if they don't match theirs.
Be brave enough to take the pain there are plenty more that love you.
The best love takes a long time to find out about.
Don't rush feelings to go away.
Feeling will go away when they are going to. 9.12.12
Failed love.
You may have given me pain but I gave you all the love I could.
The pain you gave me made me a stronger person in the end.
Never judge what you don't know.
You may have known me a long time but you don't know everything about me.
See what you see of me when the door is open but when it's closed the only person who knows me am me. 9.12.12
when I was awake I was asleep.
The voices I heard were shouting at me to wake me up as I was in my own world.
I think I was been asked questions that I didn't know the answers to.
The teachers wrote so much jargon on the board in school.
It seemed as if I never paid a great attention with the world around me.
This is why I learned nothing in school anything at all.
They moved my table and chair to the end of the class.
Let kids laugh at me and bullying was hell outside on the playground.
They made me feel so thick and small that they all called me thick.
For all the tablets I took, if I were still taking them my adulthood would have been distorted as well as my childhood.
Now kids and teachers I'm not the person I was, I've learned more since I left school.
In school I learned nothing at all. 9.12.12
Be brave enough to take the pain there are plenty more that love you.
The best love takes a long time to find out about.
Don't rush feelings to go away.
Feeling will go away when they are going to. 9.12.12
Failed love.
You may have given me pain but I gave you all the love I could.
The pain you gave me made me a stronger person in the end.
Never judge what you don't know.
You may have known me a long time but you don't know everything about me.
See what you see of me when the door is open but when it's closed the only person who knows me am me. 9.12.12
when I was awake I was asleep.
The voices I heard were shouting at me to wake me up as I was in my own world.
I think I was been asked questions that I didn't know the answers to.
The teachers wrote so much jargon on the board in school.
It seemed as if I never paid a great attention with the world around me.
This is why I learned nothing in school anything at all.
They moved my table and chair to the end of the class.
Let kids laugh at me and bullying was hell outside on the playground.
They made me feel so thick and small that they all called me thick.
For all the tablets I took, if I were still taking them my adulthood would have been distorted as well as my childhood.
Now kids and teachers I'm not the person I was, I've learned more since I left school.
In school I learned nothing at all. 9.12.12
Why did you?
Why did you play with my mind?
Why did you make me cry?
You knew I told you I loved you that are why.
Now things have turned the other way round.
The only difference is that I mean what I say.
I don't feel the same towards you like I used to.
Your loss you never loved me when I did love you.
You only pretend to love me to keep me happy.
I can't believe I lived 13 and half years with a lie.
Why should I care how you feel anymore because you never cared about my feelings when I had feelings for you? 9.12.12
Feelings.
I meant everything I said to you.
I only wish I said nothing at all.
I wish I kept my thoughts to myself even though nothing has been said ever since.
Sorry I said it at the wrong time.
I must move on to think that you don't feel the same as I do.
I know I got up set before hand but I have a lot on my mind.
I bet you wonder why I feel this way all of a sudden.
I have shocked myself to think it's sudden for me to feel this way about someone at this point. 12.12.12 - 23.12.12
Out of all poems.
I bet you'd be shocked to read what I have to say to you in this poem.
I bet you wonder why I have written this poem all of a sudden.
Out of all poems I have written this has not been an easy poem to write.
I have had to write a few poems to get to my point to accept the things I want and can't have in life.
Saying how I feel isn't easy otherwise I wouldn't have written this poem.
I have written this poem because I don't want to show you up in front of people in the pub. 12.12.12 - 23.12.12
Why did you play with my mind?
Why did you make me cry?
You knew I told you I loved you that are why.
Now things have turned the other way round.
The only difference is that I mean what I say.
I don't feel the same towards you like I used to.
Your loss you never loved me when I did love you.
You only pretend to love me to keep me happy.
I can't believe I lived 13 and half years with a lie.
Why should I care how you feel anymore because you never cared about my feelings when I had feelings for you? 9.12.12
Feelings.
I meant everything I said to you.
I only wish I said nothing at all.
I wish I kept my thoughts to myself even though nothing has been said ever since.
Sorry I said it at the wrong time.
I must move on to think that you don't feel the same as I do.
I know I got up set before hand but I have a lot on my mind.
I bet you wonder why I feel this way all of a sudden.
I have shocked myself to think it's sudden for me to feel this way about someone at this point. 12.12.12 - 23.12.12
Out of all poems.
I bet you'd be shocked to read what I have to say to you in this poem.
I bet you wonder why I have written this poem all of a sudden.
Out of all poems I have written this has not been an easy poem to write.
I have had to write a few poems to get to my point to accept the things I want and can't have in life.
Saying how I feel isn't easy otherwise I wouldn't have written this poem.
I have written this poem because I don't want to show you up in front of people in the pub. 12.12.12 - 23.12.12
It
may not be as bad as I think.
Sorry there's no easy way for me to tell you.
I never thought I'd feel this way about someone so quickly.
I feel so silly because I don't know you very well.
I can't bring myself to tell you because you may not speak to me again if I do.
Sorry there's no easy way for me to tell you.
I never thought I'd feel this way about someone so quickly.
I feel so silly because I don't know you very well.
I can't bring myself to tell you because you may not speak to me again if I do.
In a way I want to
tell you but in another way I don't.
I don't want to make life hard for you but I would be lying to myself and you if I said I don't feel this way.
I may be worrying about nothing.
I don't want to risk losing your friendship
I've tried so hard to block you out my mind but it's no good.
I hope I don't find myself telling you one day.
I must learn to accept friendship again.
I don't want to spoil things in case you have someone special in your life.
Despite of the way I feel about you, I must cope with it because I have so much respect for you. 12.12.12 - 23.12.12
finding it hard to trust you.
I shouldn't have trusted you from the start.
I'm so glad I didn't marry you.
Even now I'm not sure whether or not you were cheating on me.
Even now it's hard to say whether or not you were unfaithful.
What makes me think this is that you were texting allot in front of me and getting texts back.
You made me feel very stressed and very uncomfortable that's why I won't have you back.
I kept on thinking this was a bad dream.
I may be wrong in what I did thought but the texts you sent and the texts you had back went on far too long because I loved you so much. 13.12.12
Just because I haven't cried.
Just because I haven't cried it's going to be a wet Christmas without you.
Eating less affects my emotions.
The nasty things the others have put through the pain made me cry more.
The pain from you hurts more because there was no pain but it hurts more than things now won't be the same again.
To me you’re so special I try to tell myself next time I will do even better.
May the best of love for me have all gone?
I can't believe that there may well never be another you.
May be I shouldn't have written this poem, If I hadn't I still would have been your love. 23.12.12
Scared of getting old and alone.
May be I shouldn't be scared of being old and alone.
May be I should be strong enough to take the not to love again.
May be the pain from others have made me stronger.
I must be weak to be scared to be old and alone.
Yet I'm ashamed to be weak. 23.12.12
I'm a lot more down than I show.
Although tear don't cry the pain is deep down inside.
No emotions cried out.
A smile might be on my face but the pain and feelings are deep down inside.
Losing weight has now been my way of showing my emotions even I need to lose weight.
Eating less seems to be the way instead of crying.
If only I spend the time with you when you offered me to.
Even though our feelings are still there for one another it wouldn't be right knowing that things won't be the same again.
Whatever I would have done I would have felt so ashamed.
It was a no win situation.
I didn't know what to do for the best. 23.12.12
When I first met you.
When I first met you to me you were just a friend.
I never thought I'd love you more than a friend.
Now that I have lost you I see no other lover.
Everything that was said between us we told no one else but ourselves.
May be I will love again but a long time to come or never at all.
It's hard to see the wood between the trees.
Take no notice of me I'm just so silly you see.
I'm just a middle aged lady feeling sorry for ones' self. 23.12.12
May be I shouldn't be scared of being old and alone.
May be I should be strong enough to take the not to love again.
May be the pain from others have made me stronger.
I must be weak to be scared to be old and alone.
Yet I'm ashamed to be weak. 23.12.12
I'm a lot more down than I show.
Although tear don't cry the pain is deep down inside.
No emotions cried out.
A smile might be on my face but the pain and feelings are deep down inside.
Losing weight has now been my way of showing my emotions even I need to lose weight.
Eating less seems to be the way instead of crying.
If only I spend the time with you when you offered me to.
Even though our feelings are still there for one another it wouldn't be right knowing that things won't be the same again.
Whatever I would have done I would have felt so ashamed.
It was a no win situation.
I didn't know what to do for the best. 23.12.12
When I first met you.
When I first met you to me you were just a friend.
I never thought I'd love you more than a friend.
Now that I have lost you I see no other lover.
Everything that was said between us we told no one else but ourselves.
May be I will love again but a long time to come or never at all.
It's hard to see the wood between the trees.
Take no notice of me I'm just so silly you see.
I'm just a middle aged lady feeling sorry for ones' self. 23.12.12
The future is unknown.
It's hard to believe that someone special has gone out my life.
I didn't mean to make myself misunderstood.
How long will it take for me to get use to you not being my anymore?
The future is so unknown.
After having been with someone as nice as you, it's hard to believe who could be nicer?
I may love again or never again.
May be 'm stronger and braver than I think to be alone.
The loneliness of getting old. 23.12.12
No going back.
Our love was always a secret so is our break up.
I wonder who will be in my life next if anyone.
I wonder who will take on your world next.
Getting along with others without saying a word to the world.
How long will she take on your world for?
For me the situation wasn't a problem.
It was harder for me to know your feelings knowing I saw so little of you.
Yet longer time apart more to look forward to when we were together.
It was wrong to break when we had something going so special between us.
May be you think I'm better off with someone who can spend more time with me.
Yet why would I put up with someone all the while when I have done it before? 23.12.12
Not the same.
It's hard to believe that someone special has gone out my life.
I didn't mean to make myself misunderstood.
How long will it take for me to get use to you not being my anymore?
The future is so unknown.
After having been with someone as nice as you, it's hard to believe who could be nicer?
I may love again or never again.
May be 'm stronger and braver than I think to be alone.
The loneliness of getting old. 23.12.12
No going back.
Our love was always a secret so is our break up.
I wonder who will be in my life next if anyone.
I wonder who will take on your world next.
Getting along with others without saying a word to the world.
How long will she take on your world for?
For me the situation wasn't a problem.
It was harder for me to know your feelings knowing I saw so little of you.
Yet longer time apart more to look forward to when we were together.
It was wrong to break when we had something going so special between us.
May be you think I'm better off with someone who can spend more time with me.
Yet why would I put up with someone all the while when I have done it before? 23.12.12
Not the same.
Feelings
far too strong but empty.
Thinking about you nonstop.
Trying to keep my mind busy to accept the fact what I want back I can't have back.
Not the same without your love.
Can't eat as much as normal. 24.12.12
Hard to believe.
Hard to believe that you’re not mine anymore.
Hard to believe that I'm not yours anymore.
Yet our love is still there for one another.
Words I said I made myself misunderstood.
I just wanted to know if you still felt the same way about me as I do about you.
Why did you end our love knowing that we still love one another?
How much time together and apart didn't matter to me I loved you all the same as I still do.
May be it's you that can't cope with your own situation.24.12.12
If only I could stop myself from having feelings.
If only my heart would stop beating for you.
The more my heart beats the more it breaks for you.
I have to tell myself that we aren't together anymore.
Every time I fall in love it always fails.
Love is a feeling hard to control.
Feelings are something that you can't rush to go away.
Feelings take their own time to go away or stay with you for life.
At this point is unknown how long my feelings will last for you. 24.12.12
some things are better not said.
It's unknown when he will come along.
He will never know about you.
Now our love has gone there's nothing to tell.
Yet in thoughts our love is still there.
Thinking is different to speaking.
I will never cheat but I will never forget the love we had.
Our secret still stands as I said some things are better off not being said.
As wicked as the secret is it's kept a secret for safety reason.
A private reason to protect ourselves and people. 24.12.12
Thinking about you nonstop.
Trying to keep my mind busy to accept the fact what I want back I can't have back.
Not the same without your love.
Can't eat as much as normal. 24.12.12
Hard to believe.
Hard to believe that you’re not mine anymore.
Hard to believe that I'm not yours anymore.
Yet our love is still there for one another.
Words I said I made myself misunderstood.
I just wanted to know if you still felt the same way about me as I do about you.
Why did you end our love knowing that we still love one another?
How much time together and apart didn't matter to me I loved you all the same as I still do.
May be it's you that can't cope with your own situation.24.12.12
If only I could stop myself from having feelings.
If only my heart would stop beating for you.
The more my heart beats the more it breaks for you.
I have to tell myself that we aren't together anymore.
Every time I fall in love it always fails.
Love is a feeling hard to control.
Feelings are something that you can't rush to go away.
Feelings take their own time to go away or stay with you for life.
At this point is unknown how long my feelings will last for you. 24.12.12
some things are better not said.
It's unknown when he will come along.
He will never know about you.
Now our love has gone there's nothing to tell.
Yet in thoughts our love is still there.
Thinking is different to speaking.
I will never cheat but I will never forget the love we had.
Our secret still stands as I said some things are better off not being said.
As wicked as the secret is it's kept a secret for safety reason.
A private reason to protect ourselves and people. 24.12.12
Mail and communication.
Times are changing all the while.
It's hard to know whether communication is getting better or not.
From telegrams to letters from letters to texts from texts to emails not forgetting faxes.
Whatever next to come.
Keep the clocks ticking?
Keep the phones landlines and mobiles without a sound.
Turn the volume of peoples' when voices down when walking down the street.
When you heard strangers shout it seems like they are talking to you.
Keep the texts coming in without a sound but keep the emails coming free.
Bring back the call boxes but no heavy snow.
Bring back walking miles to the call boxes so that it cuts down the traffic on the roads.
Traffic costs too much to run is to why the country's money is running out. 24.12.12
on heat hanging on the ceiling.
I sat under the light hanging on the ceiling.
The lamp shade was shaking.
The heat was rising.
I was hanging.
The room span round and round as if I had a good many drinks.
I saw stars on the ceiling spinning around with me.
I had a very bad hair day after I washed my hair.
It went from wet and curly to dry to fizzy as my hair felt the heat.
I tried everything I could to make it dry and curly but it was no good.
This was just me chasing dreams of freedom. 28.12.12
Bunny rabbit.
I'm a bunny rabbit.
I have sticky out teeth.
I live in a hutch.
I eat carrots.
I can see in the dark.
I get so bored inside my hutch that I run wild when I am out of it. 28.12.12
Times are changing all the while.
It's hard to know whether communication is getting better or not.
From telegrams to letters from letters to texts from texts to emails not forgetting faxes.
Whatever next to come.
Keep the clocks ticking?
Keep the phones landlines and mobiles without a sound.
Turn the volume of peoples' when voices down when walking down the street.
When you heard strangers shout it seems like they are talking to you.
Keep the texts coming in without a sound but keep the emails coming free.
Bring back the call boxes but no heavy snow.
Bring back walking miles to the call boxes so that it cuts down the traffic on the roads.
Traffic costs too much to run is to why the country's money is running out. 24.12.12
on heat hanging on the ceiling.
I sat under the light hanging on the ceiling.
The lamp shade was shaking.
The heat was rising.
I was hanging.
The room span round and round as if I had a good many drinks.
I saw stars on the ceiling spinning around with me.
I had a very bad hair day after I washed my hair.
It went from wet and curly to dry to fizzy as my hair felt the heat.
I tried everything I could to make it dry and curly but it was no good.
This was just me chasing dreams of freedom. 28.12.12
Bunny rabbit.
I'm a bunny rabbit.
I have sticky out teeth.
I live in a hutch.
I eat carrots.
I can see in the dark.
I get so bored inside my hutch that I run wild when I am out of it. 28.12.12
Treatment.
Living on medication isn't fun.
Feeling dizzy and in another world.
You can miss what's going on around you.
It's hard to keep up with the rest of the world around you.
Many medications don't treat you like they should you.
Some medications that right you right bright something else on.
If life is like this then what are we here, what is life all about? 28.12.12
Freedom of speech.
You are born alone.
You die alone.
The world is nice to you when you are born.
You have a lot to learn.
You have a lot of good and bad to face.
Not all rights are your own.
Self is belief.
To what you think isn't always what others think.
To what you say isn't what others agree with.
No one likes the same.
You don't always have the freedom of speech. 28.12.12
how humans can change.
Childhood is unknown to you but known to the rest of the world.
Everything is so new.
Welcome to the adult world.
There's so much to learn.
You know even less when you spend years in school not learning at all.
Society has told you you'd never get anywhere in life.
You believe others around because you are a child.
You are misunderstood so you feel very bad inside.
Your past haunts you so bad that you have to find your own way to express yourself to be understood.
Only then society realizes there's something about you after all, that is talent.
No matter who we are all good at something just most of us take longer to get there. 28.12.12
Living on medication isn't fun.
Feeling dizzy and in another world.
You can miss what's going on around you.
It's hard to keep up with the rest of the world around you.
Many medications don't treat you like they should you.
Some medications that right you right bright something else on.
If life is like this then what are we here, what is life all about? 28.12.12
Freedom of speech.
You are born alone.
You die alone.
The world is nice to you when you are born.
You have a lot to learn.
You have a lot of good and bad to face.
Not all rights are your own.
Self is belief.
To what you think isn't always what others think.
To what you say isn't what others agree with.
No one likes the same.
You don't always have the freedom of speech. 28.12.12
how humans can change.
Childhood is unknown to you but known to the rest of the world.
Everything is so new.
Welcome to the adult world.
There's so much to learn.
You know even less when you spend years in school not learning at all.
Society has told you you'd never get anywhere in life.
You believe others around because you are a child.
You are misunderstood so you feel very bad inside.
Your past haunts you so bad that you have to find your own way to express yourself to be understood.
Only then society realizes there's something about you after all, that is talent.
No matter who we are all good at something just most of us take longer to get there. 28.12.12
Unknown world.
Everyone is around you is speaking but you’re not hearing a thing.
No sound to be heard but people are making moving around you.
Not everyone understands everything about you.
You don't understand everything about them. 28.12.12
Dark world.
Nothing is seen in the world around you.
Sounds are heard everywhere you go.
You don't know when if you are going to feel anything and what you are going to feel.
You don't know what's going on when it's going to begin and end.
You don't how it's going to begin and end. 28.12.12
what is to come?
What is to come?
The future is hard to tell wait until tomorrow comes.
May be I will travel again when I am old.
I haven't worked hard enough yet.
May be I will be old when I see the sun.
For now my career comes first.
My career has been slow to come.
Now I am over 40 life is too short to waste.
You have spent your life fighting for your career.
It was never a career you thought of yet it's a career for you.
It took so long that you thought you'd be good for nothing and no one. 29.12.12
what next?
I have tears I need to cry that haven't yet.
One day I will cry over you but I don't know when.
New Year is not long to come so is that sparking Champaign.
Spring should be on its way but they tell us we have a long cold winter to come.
The sunshine seems a long time to come if ever at all 29.12.12
Everyone is around you is speaking but you’re not hearing a thing.
No sound to be heard but people are making moving around you.
Not everyone understands everything about you.
You don't understand everything about them. 28.12.12
Dark world.
Nothing is seen in the world around you.
Sounds are heard everywhere you go.
You don't know when if you are going to feel anything and what you are going to feel.
You don't know what's going on when it's going to begin and end.
You don't how it's going to begin and end. 28.12.12
what is to come?
What is to come?
The future is hard to tell wait until tomorrow comes.
May be I will travel again when I am old.
I haven't worked hard enough yet.
May be I will be old when I see the sun.
For now my career comes first.
My career has been slow to come.
Now I am over 40 life is too short to waste.
You have spent your life fighting for your career.
It was never a career you thought of yet it's a career for you.
It took so long that you thought you'd be good for nothing and no one. 29.12.12
what next?
I have tears I need to cry that haven't yet.
One day I will cry over you but I don't know when.
New Year is not long to come so is that sparking Champaign.
Spring should be on its way but they tell us we have a long cold winter to come.
The sunshine seems a long time to come if ever at all 29.12.12
No one can say for sure what tomorrow is going to bring.
The future is hard to tell until tomorrow is here.
Sometimes we are right and other times we are wrong about life.
Like the weather people are not always right or wrong.
Look out the window to see what the weather is like when you get up tomorrow.
They say the world is going to end caused by the weather therefore we will either freeze or burn to death by sun or ice.
Worry and Stress is the worst killer of all.
We think we have the whole world on our solders when we are young.
As we get old we worry less.
I can still hear much older people say when I was young.
" Worrying get's you in your grave."
At the time I never understood that saying.
Now I see the truth in that saying because I just live my life day by day. 29.12.12
Poetry, Anxiety and depression.
It's poetry that helps me accept life as it is.
As long as I keep my mind busy.
As long as I live my life busy.
Like us all as long as I have something to look forward to I can cope with life.
I am down if I have nothing at all.
I can't fight Anxiety and depression without poetry.
I can't cope in life with nothing.
I get sad and angry if I sit all the time bored.
Helping others helps me along.
Poetry helps me let out my thoughts. 29.12.12
without poetry.
Without
poetry life would be more painful than what it is.
Without poetry I would look and feel silly for being down for no reason.
Poetry makes life as less as bad as what it is.
Poetry makes me see life different to what I'd be without poetry.
Without poetry I would never feel good about myself, I would be angrily about myself.
When see the good in yourself you see the good in others.
Life is what you make it in one way but not in another.
Each and every one of us I believe has something inside us.
We just cope with good and bad in life in different ways.
Most of us think thoughts too much, this where poetry comes in.
I'm a person who has a lot of thoughts which have for many years put into poetry.
Without poetry I would have held too much back. 29.12.12
when I feel anger.
When I feel anger I don't want to live.
When I feel anger I feel stress and tense.
There are too many thoughts going through my head to a point I want to write poetry.
I need to stop myself from getting angry and depression mainly when it's for no reason but sometimes there are reasons.
I need to stop myself from doing and say things I regret. 29.12.12
the Mind.
This is unknown to think what we are going to think.
Unknown to why we think what we think when we think.
Most thoughts seem odd to others yet unknown why to the person who thinks those thoughts.
Yet many thoughts seem odd to the person who’s thought them in time to come.
Thoughts can be unknown like feelings can be unknown.
Some thoughts and feelings may last for lives others may only last for a certain amount of time which either be short or long.
The thoughts we think can't please everyone.
What a boring world it would be if we were right and good all the time.
Not everyone is bad all the time even though a lot of us think we are. 29.12.12
Learning.
Without poetry I would look and feel silly for being down for no reason.
Poetry makes life as less as bad as what it is.
Poetry makes me see life different to what I'd be without poetry.
Without poetry I would never feel good about myself, I would be angrily about myself.
When see the good in yourself you see the good in others.
Life is what you make it in one way but not in another.
Each and every one of us I believe has something inside us.
We just cope with good and bad in life in different ways.
Most of us think thoughts too much, this where poetry comes in.
I'm a person who has a lot of thoughts which have for many years put into poetry.
Without poetry I would have held too much back. 29.12.12
when I feel anger.
When I feel anger I don't want to live.
When I feel anger I feel stress and tense.
There are too many thoughts going through my head to a point I want to write poetry.
I need to stop myself from getting angry and depression mainly when it's for no reason but sometimes there are reasons.
I need to stop myself from doing and say things I regret. 29.12.12
the Mind.
This is unknown to think what we are going to think.
Unknown to why we think what we think when we think.
Most thoughts seem odd to others yet unknown why to the person who thinks those thoughts.
Yet many thoughts seem odd to the person who’s thought them in time to come.
Thoughts can be unknown like feelings can be unknown.
Some thoughts and feelings may last for lives others may only last for a certain amount of time which either be short or long.
The thoughts we think can't please everyone.
What a boring world it would be if we were right and good all the time.
Not everyone is bad all the time even though a lot of us think we are. 29.12.12
Learning.
Learning
is a good thing about life.
Without knowing it we learn something new every day.
Some of us learn quicker than others.
Some of us learn slower than others.
As life is ending we haven't learned enough but better going through life learning nothing at all. 29.12.12
Too much to cope with in life.
The head spins round and round.
Everyone makes out no one knows nothing at all about anything at all.
Too many people say different things to one thing.
There can't be millions of answers to one question can there?
Too many things happen at once or nothing at all.
They want you in too many places at once.
Too many people talk to you at once.
At times life is just too much at once. 29.12.12
I am what I am as well as who I am.
I am what I am as well as who I am.
What I was born to be is what I was to be as well as who I was born to be.
Who I was born to be am me.
I learned to be strong minded with not a great deal of choice in life due to my abilities.
Yet the change in me I don't think anyone or myself would be.
The person as a child and the person as an adult are two different messes.
It was hard for me to believe in me because others found it hard to see the good in me.
Now I have learned a lot in adulthood even though there's a limit of what I can do. 29.12.12
I think now the end has come.
It's too easy to think your life is over when being over 40.
A lot of break ups of marriages and relationships have late 30s to early 40s.
You stand and look in mirror to see what has changed in you not only the person you are in looks.
Too easy to think love has gone forever when your middle aged.
You tend to think this is the end but it's not in everyone.
That doesn't mean I am right because the truth is unknown to everyone.
It's hard to think of yourself growing old alone. 29.12.12
Without knowing it we learn something new every day.
Some of us learn quicker than others.
Some of us learn slower than others.
As life is ending we haven't learned enough but better going through life learning nothing at all. 29.12.12
Too much to cope with in life.
The head spins round and round.
Everyone makes out no one knows nothing at all about anything at all.
Too many people say different things to one thing.
There can't be millions of answers to one question can there?
Too many things happen at once or nothing at all.
They want you in too many places at once.
Too many people talk to you at once.
At times life is just too much at once. 29.12.12
I am what I am as well as who I am.
I am what I am as well as who I am.
What I was born to be is what I was to be as well as who I was born to be.
Who I was born to be am me.
I learned to be strong minded with not a great deal of choice in life due to my abilities.
Yet the change in me I don't think anyone or myself would be.
The person as a child and the person as an adult are two different messes.
It was hard for me to believe in me because others found it hard to see the good in me.
Now I have learned a lot in adulthood even though there's a limit of what I can do. 29.12.12
I think now the end has come.
It's too easy to think your life is over when being over 40.
A lot of break ups of marriages and relationships have late 30s to early 40s.
You stand and look in mirror to see what has changed in you not only the person you are in looks.
Too easy to think love has gone forever when your middle aged.
You tend to think this is the end but it's not in everyone.
That doesn't mean I am right because the truth is unknown to everyone.
It's hard to think of yourself growing old alone. 29.12.12
Try not to think about it.
I try not to think about being lonely.
I try not think about who walks into my life next if anyone at all.
Men have come and gone out of my life, I guess they will carry as they always have done.
Thinking more of moving on.
Thinking more of getting strong.
Thinking more of accepting as it is and however it's going to be.
Time is so unknown anything could happen at time at all. 29.12.12
as it comes.
Some things in life are just dreams that many of us try not to chase.
Other things in life are real life.
It can be hard to say which wrong and which is right.
The truth of the weather is unknown until you look through the window every day.
Really in this life nothing is sure or unsure until the time comes.
Life is like a ticking clock as it ticks to the hour through the day and night.
Life is like the weather rain, snow and shine is unknown until it comes.
This can work the same as tears, sadness and happiness.
We are born to live then die whatever reason why is yet again unknown. 30.1.2012
complete year wash out to bring the New Year.
2012 has been a long wet year even through the summer.
It's been a complete wash out with floods here, there and everywhere.
It's unknown what 2013 will bring us.
It's been a wet blow out in storms and winds.
They tell us January 2013 will bring us the worst winter for a 100 years let's just see it when or if it comes.
30.12.12
I try not to think about being lonely.
I try not think about who walks into my life next if anyone at all.
Men have come and gone out of my life, I guess they will carry as they always have done.
Thinking more of moving on.
Thinking more of getting strong.
Thinking more of accepting as it is and however it's going to be.
Time is so unknown anything could happen at time at all. 29.12.12
as it comes.
Some things in life are just dreams that many of us try not to chase.
Other things in life are real life.
It can be hard to say which wrong and which is right.
The truth of the weather is unknown until you look through the window every day.
Really in this life nothing is sure or unsure until the time comes.
Life is like a ticking clock as it ticks to the hour through the day and night.
Life is like the weather rain, snow and shine is unknown until it comes.
This can work the same as tears, sadness and happiness.
We are born to live then die whatever reason why is yet again unknown. 30.1.2012
complete year wash out to bring the New Year.
2012 has been a long wet year even through the summer.
It's been a complete wash out with floods here, there and everywhere.
It's unknown what 2013 will bring us.
It's been a wet blow out in storms and winds.
They tell us January 2013 will bring us the worst winter for a 100 years let's just see it when or if it comes.
30.12.12
I know.
I know you still love me like I love you.
Love is not an easy feeling to let go.
How I made myself misunderstood in the text.
I was only trying to ask you how you felt about me.
You told me before Christmas that it was pointless us carrying on.
For who me, you or both of us?
I can wait forever long.
Is what I am saying right or is this your way of saying you don't feel the same way about me anymore?
Why not tell the truth to tell me you don't want me in your life anymore.
If that's the case it may hurt me but at least it may be the truth.
If you feel this way why was I in your life in the first place?
I wouldn't have known a thing if I wouldn't have known how you felt about me at the time.
Don't be scared to tell me the truth even though it may hurt me.
I'd rather know the truth even if you don't like me.
Please be honest with me too many men have played games with my mind when they knew I had loved them. 30.12.12
doesn’t play games with my feelings?
You know I love you so much so don't play with my feelings!
Ok we didn't spent time together last time but that wouldn't have been wise because of us not been together anymore.
It was hard to say no when I so much wanted to spent time with you knowing that I still love you.
It's hard to know whether or not you feel the same way I guess you did we'd still be together now. 30.12.12
New Year 2012 - 2013.
I know you still love me like I love you.
Love is not an easy feeling to let go.
How I made myself misunderstood in the text.
I was only trying to ask you how you felt about me.
You told me before Christmas that it was pointless us carrying on.
For who me, you or both of us?
I can wait forever long.
Is what I am saying right or is this your way of saying you don't feel the same way about me anymore?
Why not tell the truth to tell me you don't want me in your life anymore.
If that's the case it may hurt me but at least it may be the truth.
If you feel this way why was I in your life in the first place?
I wouldn't have known a thing if I wouldn't have known how you felt about me at the time.
Don't be scared to tell me the truth even though it may hurt me.
I'd rather know the truth even if you don't like me.
Please be honest with me too many men have played games with my mind when they knew I had loved them. 30.12.12
doesn’t play games with my feelings?
You know I love you so much so don't play with my feelings!
Ok we didn't spent time together last time but that wouldn't have been wise because of us not been together anymore.
It was hard to say no when I so much wanted to spent time with you knowing that I still love you.
It's hard to know whether or not you feel the same way I guess you did we'd still be together now. 30.12.12
New Year 2012 - 2013.
Saturday, 5 May 2012
Minds need to keep busy
Keep the mind busy.
Never do anything.
Boredom affects the mind.
Boredom makes you feel sad.
There's never any reason to do nothing.
Despite of the country going down money wise not everything costs in life, even though we don't enough to pay for what the country costs.
We must be thankful for what we have got.
I know some of us have less than others but that's life.
One way or another we are all in the same boat.
Money help but it's not all there is to life.
Life would be boring if it was all the same.
We would be too spoil and greedy if we all had our way.
There would be nothing left in the world then we'd be even sadder.
People who want everything all the time are boring and sad people.
People who want something for nothing need to get a life when there are people who loved to work but have good reasons not to.
Be happy for the good things accept the bad things.
Life is what you make it, only you can make bad into good.
If you wait you will get more. 26.4.2012 - 18.6.2012
Guilt and regret.
I just prepared myself for the worst.
What I regret is you having to see and hear my row with him.
I didn't want to creative a row, I know it wasn't nice but I felt I had to speak my mind; I had no other way of telling him.
As weeks would have went on I would have felt even more tense been in his company, this wouldn't have been fare on you and anyone else so I thought I say what I was going to say and not come again.
As much as you and I may miss one another, I thought it was far better I stopped going there rather than things getting worse because of me not liking him.
Some people I can accept, if I don't like them depending on what I don't like about them.
He one of the very few people I can't stand sitting in the same room with, otherwise I wouldn't have said anything to him.
To me he has such a dry sense of humour but sorry maybe it's just me.
I understand that it's cause us to see even less of one another but I haven't given up on you and me.
I'm so glad that you haven't given up on you and me either.
I will look forward to our time together whenever it will be.
Even if I just see you around for a chat, however short or long amount of time is good enough for me.
It's not just all about me it's about how you feel too.
Missing you may be painful but thinking about you is happiness.
No matter what happens I'm here to stay, no matter how life is or will be or and may be.
Even though I don't see a lot of you, loving feelings and thoughts inside me won't go away.
Thank you for been there for me whenever you can.
I hope you feel the same way about me too.
To prove how much I loved you, I will carry on accepting whatever life is.
If I had stopped coming without telling you a reason, you may have thought I have gone off with another man.
I love you far too much to love anyone else. 16.5.2012 - 18.6.2012
you give me happiness.
You give me happiness.
You give me light.
You brighten up my day and night when you turn on the light.
Time seemed like forever until I see you again.18.5.2012 - 18.6.2012
No greater feeling than love.
When you’re happy in love you forget sadness.
Too much love can be so happy that it can turn into sadness.
To know I have you the sun always sun shine.
When I don't see you the sun isn't bright enough.
It always rains without you. 18.5.2012 - 18.6.2012
I thought you'd gone for good.
I was so surprised to see you that night.
You made my light.
How wrong was I to think your feelings had changed towards me because of him?
Please forgive for worrying too much its part of my disabilities and health problems.
I am glad to know that you still feel the same as I do.
I never thought you'd speak to me again let alone love me again.
I miss you so much but hopefully I will see you next time. 2.6.2012 - 18.6.2012
looking in the mirror, what do I see?
When times are hard you seem to think they won't get easy but if you give it time some things will others won't.
Not everything can be the same.
You mustn't feel alone because you are not others go through not much different if not the same.
No one can tell you other than you how you think and feel.
They are so right you are so wrong but that's not always the case, there's a slim chance you could be right they could be wrong.
They know it all because they have all been there before.
The truth is unknown, the whole world is blind.
The truth hurts when that's how you don't want to see your life but if you accept something else will turn out better than what you had in the first place.
Feelings and thoughts are hard to control when you want something or someone.
No matter how wrong it may be you can't move until those feelings and thought have, the only way is to let go if you start see it that it isn't right, which the hardest.
It won't get better if it's not working.
I never knew Keats was a poet.
I had never heard of Keats before.
I never knew his heart was broken just like mine but in a different time.
I never knew he'd inspire me to be a poet. I was stronger than I thought. I coped with exams, stress, studying and depression.
As a twenty - seven year old English student I walked along the college library.
What did I see? All I saw was Keats on a cover of a book looking how I felt at the time.
I read his poetry of broken love, which inspired me because he faced near enough the same as me.
I never knew he wrote about his feelings at that time.
When I look at the picture of him it was as if I saw myself in the mirror.
Until I read his work I had no idea that we had a poetry talent between us.
I was totally unaware what book I was picking up and what to except inside it.
Both of us lived in different times.
I never knew he shared the same subject as me, romance and broken romance.
That's when I knew I wasn't alone. He died of a broken heart,
I didn't but I once thought I was going to. If he hadn't of inspired me,
I believe my talent would have been unknown.
Ode to a Nightingale' is my best poem by John Keats. 21.5.2012
it was a dark time.
Back in October 1996 - August 1997 I drank heavy.
Every time I drank I thought my problems would go away.
Problems were still there the next day.
I thought my loneliness would be there day after day for the rest of my life. I felt as if life wasn't worth living. I couldn't see the wood through the trees.
Near enough twelve months of sadness seemed like a life time for me.
One bright side of John Keats he inspired me to write. John Keats work was the first poetry I came across in 1997 at the age of 27. 21.5.2012
Wake up.
Wake up; life would be boring there was happiest every morning.
Good and bad things can happen without a warning.
Do not dream, wish and hear things that don't happen.
You can't have your own way every day.
The truth is how it is whether you want to hear it or not. 13.8.2012 - 17.8.2012
Dyspraxia
I could never do up my buttons.
I could never do up my laces.
I could never clean my teeth how they should be cleaned.
My mouth is too small with too many teeth, food just get's everywhere it always has but I love it.
Exercise is hard to access when you have Dyspraxia.
I can't catch or throw a ball.
I couldn't even open a tin with a tin opener but then I discovered how to use the old fashioned tin openers after.
I love going to the pub, I'm useless with money then I over spend.
I have never been very good at maths.
I am more could with English and words but I even get confused there because of my Dyslexic a.
In a poem I can express my disabilities in a poem better than I can to people.
I am more skills with my writing and raising learning disability awareness than everyday living skills. 13.8.2012 - 17.8.2012
Wolverhampton City.
Either dead as a door nail or full of crime.
This city was once a lovely town.
I still see it as town; it's too small to be a town in my eyes.
Beggars picking nub ends off the streets and begging people for money.
This shows how Britain is getting weak.
Britain is too over crowded; we are spending money we can't affront.
What has happened to Great Britain that's just Britain?
The council has wasted money on a bus station that doesn't get used because not all the buses go there.
Most of the buses are messed around the town or should I say city?
It's hard to say what will the future of Britain will be.
Today's children don't know what's right from wrong, which causes crime, how will their children learn right from wrong?
Too many prisons full up and too many people committing crime.
Life should be the time for crime.
There are computers, internet, iPod s, mobile phones and the world is not enough or is it too much?
May be there's too much greed in the world.
There were more smiles on faces when we were just playing snakes and ladders. 13.8.2012 - 17.8.2012
Moon under Water.
Cheapest pub in Wolverhampton for food and drink.
More people yet very dead.
May be not having any music takes away the atmosphere.
I guess we get what we pay for.
Friday and Saturday nights busiest nights of all.
Young people talking loud, screaming and knocking the shots back, maybe I am showing my age.13.8.2012 - 17.8.2012
Changes.
No central heating.
Cold in classrooms where our coats in lessons.
Play outside build a snowman and throw snow balls.
Games of Snakes and Ladders, Tilley winks and Frustration.
Get detention and lines if you were naughty.
The slap off the rulers didn't do us any harm.
Coal and gas fire.
Telephone boxes if no landlines.
Long walks in the snow to make phone calls.
Kids walking to school for miles whatever the weather.
Less traffic on the roads.
Prices were cheaper when look back compared with today. 13.8.2012 - 17.8.2012
Time to keep strong.
It's not just about my feelings, it's about your feelings too.
If enough is enough just let me know, even though I think so much of you I will leave you alone.
You don't have to give reasons why when I can work them out for myself, no one is in the wrong.
Sorry for what I have done.
I speak my mind and I speak the truth.
However you feel I need to know so if your feelings don't match with mine I can get on with my life.
If only I knew what is going through your mind.
Don't be scared to tell me it's not as if I haven't been there before.
Sorry if things didn't work out if they haven't at least we tried.
May be things didn't work out to what we hoped.
As hard as it is I had to be honest to you, I couldn't have lied to you.
All I know is that I miss you so much. 12.10.12
Need to know the reasons.
I know I told you in the text that I sent you that I wanted to know the reasons why we have to part.
I have tried to put the reasons out of my mind behind but I just can’t.
Sorry to say that I’m going out of my mind.
I need to know if I have done anything wrong, if so what?
I don't want to make you love me if you don't love me.
I need to know if I have done anything wrong, if so what?
I don't want to make you love me if you don't love me.
Somehow some way I need to
move on.
How long have you been fed
up of me?
Didn't I show you enough love?
Wasn't I there when you wanted me to be there or was I there when you didn't want me to be there?
I don’t want to force you into another you don’t want to do.
I love and care for you too much to put stress on you I love you so much I will need to let you go, which is hard to do.
Didn't I show you enough love?
Wasn't I there when you wanted me to be there or was I there when you didn't want me to be there?
I don’t want to force you into another you don’t want to do.
I love and care for you too much to put stress on you I love you so much I will need to let you go, which is hard to do.
Even though I have a rough idea of the reason why, I
need to be sure I'm right in some cases I hope I'm wrong.
I may have done nothing wrong it may be something that's no one’s' fault.
I've always prepared myself for the worst because nothing has lasted for me in the past.
Take your time to tell me I will wait forever, I guess I only have myself to blame.
I feel as if I'm in a black hole, I feel so sad.
I know I have my conscience to fight.
All I need is a peace of mind.
I can't believe I've hurt the one I love so much.
I know I won't get anyone better than you.
The next one will be like the rest of them therefore it won't last.
I want to move forward not back.
I've blew it with it right one, which is you.
I may have done nothing wrong it may be something that's no one’s' fault.
I've always prepared myself for the worst because nothing has lasted for me in the past.
Take your time to tell me I will wait forever, I guess I only have myself to blame.
I feel as if I'm in a black hole, I feel so sad.
I know I have my conscience to fight.
All I need is a peace of mind.
I can't believe I've hurt the one I love so much.
I know I won't get anyone better than you.
The next one will be like the rest of them therefore it won't last.
I want to move forward not back.
I've blew it with it right one, which is you.
Didn't I treat you right?
Put me right on what I did wrong so I don't make the same mistake again.
Right now I'm going out of my mind.
Whether it's in my face, letter text or phone please let me know.
My last love finished with me because I was around him too much.
Having learned from that mistake, I have tried so hard to be independent or have I become too independent?
I thought you'd like your women independent, we never saw that much of one another anyway.
Please tell me how I can keep a man happy?
I know I washed my hands of him, which caused us to see even less of one another, but at least I saw you for a little while, how should that affect us when he didn't know about us?
If I hadn't have turned up because of him, you may have thought I was cheating on you, that's what I wouldn't do. 16.10.2012
Put me right on what I did wrong so I don't make the same mistake again.
Right now I'm going out of my mind.
Whether it's in my face, letter text or phone please let me know.
My last love finished with me because I was around him too much.
Having learned from that mistake, I have tried so hard to be independent or have I become too independent?
I thought you'd like your women independent, we never saw that much of one another anyway.
Please tell me how I can keep a man happy?
I know I washed my hands of him, which caused us to see even less of one another, but at least I saw you for a little while, how should that affect us when he didn't know about us?
If I hadn't have turned up because of him, you may have thought I was cheating on you, that's what I wouldn't do. 16.10.2012
Time to move on.
Now that you have gone for well the days and nights seem longer than before we parted.
Even though we spend little time together when we were together, it's as if a big part of my life is missing, I'm missing you a lot more.
Although I will see you again someday as just friends this will take some getting used to, it won't be the same as before.
It's good to know that there was no lying, falling out and cheating.
Don't worry it's not a lot different than it was before after all, your secret is still safe with me, just the same as it was when we were together.
I need to write poetry to keep myself stable and help myself to move on.
I need to accept what you want.
I don't regret a single minute of time we spend together.
I understand why it had to end but I wouldn't like to say I would love to go back to where it was again. 30.10.2012
you turn on and off like a light.
I can take no more of your pain, your mind turns on and off like a light.
One minute your mind is rain then it shines.
I never know how long your mine,
If I take anymore of your change of mind, I will blew the fuse and go out of my mind.
You change like the weather winter, summer and spring.
If the water catches wires it will pull out the fire.
If I let you carry on, I will blow a storm that will rise to fire, 30.10.2012
winter is coming.
The winter is coming; the cold is coming without you.
Dark mornings and dark nights as the cold frost bites into the morning light.
The days are shorter and the nights are longer without you.
Six mouth of winter go on forever after the clocks go back.
Time seems late than what it is because winter is so dark.
The cold is longer without you. 30.10.2012
moving forward.
The door has closed but it's too cold yet for other doors to open.
It doesn't seem as if there are anymore doors to open as I have walked through them all.
If there' anymore doors to open they will open in the spring ready for the summer.
Walk into autumn doors will close for winter.
The future is an unknown world. 30.10.2012
the stormy sea.
The boats are sinking as the tide goes in and out as people shout floating about.
Most people dream of living near the sea you see.
The sea can be a nightmare as well as a dream you sea.
It's not all it cuts out to be you see.
Furniture damage, power cuts and electrically going on and off.
As the sea stops rushing it will calm down in time.
The boats will peacefully float.
The sun set will rise as it shines surfing, slipping and sliding. 30.10.2012
Washing machine.
It seems as if the world is a big wash out.
The washing machine seemed to be going on forever.
The timer was only set for 30 minutes, as it went on longer.
It stooped just before I went to the shops.
The door took ages to open as the water came out like a shower onto the floor.
I gabbed anything I could to soak up the water quick as I could.
Strangely when I saw the news the same day, the Americans were up to their necks of Super Storm Sandy.
The stormy sea cussing damage to homes, power cuts, electrically going on and off.
Anything, everything and everyone in sight the storm will fright to fight. 30.10.2012
Halloween and Bonfire night.
Halloween and Bonfire night as near together as Halloween gets ready for Bonfire night.
It all happened on two very dark stormily nights not a very nice sight nothing very bright.
The creatures were stirred into the witches' pots for soup on Halloween night ready for Bonfire night.
Both nights were wet, rainy and windy not a pretty sight.
Halloween night is when the witches bite as they fly on their broom and kite.
Witches don't give up without a fright to fight.
Bonfire night is the night when the witches get burned alive on the bonfire. 1.11.2012
I know the truth hurts.
I know the truth hurts yet there's no one to blame, which is a good thing.
Never the less the truth hurts to lose your love.
Through non blamed reasons the feelings are hard to go away.
Just because I'm calm with you when I see you it doesn't mean I don't hurt.
May be I'm wrong but all the same I still have a lot of trust in you.
I still want to be your friend even though I can't be your love anymore.
How are you feeling, are you happy or sad to lose me?
I may not have cried or showed any signs of heartache but believe me it's all there.
I'm still strong but my emotions are there whether anyone can see them or not,
I'm coping alone because I've had so many heartaches before now.
All good things come to the end of our love.
To me you were the best better than all the rest and you still are.
If only I knew what was going through your mind,
I wonder how long it's been since you have gone off me. 5.11.2012
all good things come to the end.
Now it's all gone, there's no magic wand to bring us back together again.
I know nothing will be the same again.
Time to move on but the future is unknown.
Nothing has to go bitter.
Love doesn’t have to happen for us to get along.
There must be ways of facing one another without thinking about how we once were.
I have so many things to say to you.
So many reasons could be unknown to me.
I may be I'm thinking you could be hiding something away from me, how do I know?
I can trust you but it's hard to know as I saw so little of you.
I may be wrong I just need to make sure.
What are your thoughts that are going through your mind?
Why did it take me to text you for me to find out it were over?
Would you ever have told me if I hadn't have texted you?
When would you have told me it was over?
How long has it been since you have wanted it to end or didn't you wanted it to end? 5.11.2012
No more.
I took on your world because I loved you.
The most hurtful thing is that I still love you.
Yes I had the chance to say no to your world but I liked you so much.
It even hurts now to lose you but I know you had your reasons to do so.
As much as I want to accept that it's over its not easy.
Writing these poems keep me coping. 5.11.2012
I thought it was love.
I thought it was love but I guess it wasn't.
It was love that was just a dream if you know what I mean.
Whatever it was between us you were my secret lover and dream
the dream seemed good while lasted, why did it stop?
It all felt so good at the time.
With my luck there seems to be no such word as love.
It's all just a dream love book.
Happiest is just a dream book.
Now it makes you wonder what life is all about.
If only I knew the truth of happiness of falling in love because to what I have discovered it's never happened.
It was all in my mind, a dream and I was in a world of my own. 5.11.2012
Frozen.
The winter is frozen cold without your love.
Even though you saw me on my birthday, it was still not easy to see you again after the text message before my birthday.
Since then my world has been empty without you.
On the night of my birthday I didn't know what to say to you as I froze.
Although I faced you, I felt hurt inside, even though you told me the reason why.
Even now my feelings towards you are still here my dear.
I want to accept what you want; I don't want to give you a hard time.
The hardest thing for me is to get you off my mind. 5.11.2012
Now what?
How can I forget you when I know I should?
If only I knew how you felt about me.
If only I knew how you'd react to my poems.
Were both of us just a dream, if not why can't I get you out of my head?
Nothing seems to be happening now.
Was I just reading things when I read your text or was I just having a nightmare?
Something doesn't feel right inside of me.
Why do I feel so empty inside?
Nothing seems the same anymore, 5.11.2012
how can I forget?
How can I forget when we first met?
I didn't have a thought in the world.
I never took a great of notice of you been there yet I was facing another heartache.
Even when I sat next to you for the first time the thought of love wasn't on my mind.
Little did I realise that I'd even get talking to you.
Little did I realise that I'd get like you like I still do now.
Little did I realise that you would become interested in me at the time.
Soon as I felt the same as you did, I never wanted it to end.
Suddenly you don't feel the same way anymore now this is what I find hard to get used to. 5.11.2012
the way you felt about me.
The way you felt about me in the beginning is different to how you feel now.
If only I didn't still love you like I do.
In time I will get through this just like I have had with others in my past life; it will just take its own time to get used to you not being mined anymore.
Both of us have gone through this pain alone.
Not really me when I can turn to my pen, paper, computer and poetry. 6.11.2012
May be if I say nothing to you.
May be if I say nothing at all to you.
You won't know how I feel about the break up.
May be if I don't take your thoughts and feelings into accounting either.
When we were to together nothing was said to anyone.
I'm here to share your thoughts and feelings if you want in hopes we are here for one another just the same as we were.
Our love was a secret to the world so is our break up. 6.11.2012
it was never to be.
I know I don't know what you are thinking.
The tears inside me I can't cry.
I know it hurts me to know that I'll never be yours again.
I thought you were the one for me but how wrong was I?
Where do I go now?
How do you think I should think and feel?
May be I shouldn't care less but the problem is that I do.
If only I could clear you out of my mind.
If only I could tell you how I think and feel with you thinking and feeling the same way. 6.11.2012
I feel so low.
I feel so low and empty without you.
How did I meet you?
How did I fall for you?
How did I get myself in this state?
Why did I build up my hopes that you were the one for me?
I remember I was going through with heartache with someone else when I first met you.
Now feel the same now as I did then.
It never seems to end.
I don't want anyone but you.
Now I have tell myself that in time I will meet someone new just as I had to when I broke up with all the other lovers.
This is hard to believe to how I feel now, 6.11.2012
doesn’t think because I'm alone.
Only because I'm alone doesn't mean I'm free to love anyone for a long time.
As far your mind works, I'm not a free woman because you don't know I'm single.
I want to move forward not back in my life.
I don't need you to mess my head around anymore.
Now I'm staying away from you.
Don't think because I'm alone that I'm coming back into your life because I'm not.
I will make sure that you won't know whether I'm single or not.
I'm keeping away from you so you don't get your chance to love me to hurt me again.
Love, you don't even know what the word love means.
May be I am lonely but it's better than being with you to hurt me all over again like you have so many times before.
How many chances do you want?
If you think I am wasting the rest of my life on you, then the news is bad for you.
I'm not giving you an anymore chances for you to love me to hurt me again.
I find it hard to forgive and forget what you did to me.
Why should I forgive you at all?
I used to find it hard to stop loving now I find it hard to love again.
Why would I try to love you again after what you put me through?
Now I just have no trust in you yet once I believed in you so much.
I should never have gone back to you, I should have known better than giving you another chance.
I may well now be single, which could be for a long time but not forever, I believe I will met someone better than you one day.
The longer I am single the more he will be worth the wait as well as the date.
I don't want to love you for you to hurt me again.
You confused my mind and messed with my head with your silly mind games not knowing whether you wanted me or not.
I want someone who knows what and who he wants.
Now you have lost your chance to love me again.
You knew I used to love you so much that you played with head.
After losing you it took a long time to get my life back together again.
Little did I realise that I was better off without you, how blind was I?
Everyday I used to hope that you'd change but you just got worse.
Just because I'm alone it doesn't mean you can touch me because I feel nothing for you.
Nothing at all.
You may laugh now because I'm alone, it may be a long time but I'm more than willing to get back on my feet again so I won't be alone forever.
You don't break me anymore.
I have got my life back together before, I will do it again.
I feel nothing for you anymore.
You never loved me and cared for me as much as I did for you.
You didn't love me as much as I thought you did.
You didn't love me at all.
I can't believe I loved a man for 13 and a half years on and off who didn't love me.
Our relationship was based on you lying about your feelings towards me.
I was too blind to disbelieve you.
Time to move on.
It's time for me to stop turning up on your door step. 5.11.2012 -
18.11.2012
Percy Bysshe Shelly.
Shelly who loved the water yet he married Mary Shelly who wrote Frankincense.
It's hard to think about Frankincense coming out of water.
How strange to know that Shelly ended his life drowning in water yet his body was burned underground with his ashes all over him.
May be Shelly's body may have gone to sea with his wife Mary if she didn't play next to Frankincense. 9.12.2012
hiding pain with a smile.
Sometimes the world can know too much about you.
Sometimes we should be free to have our secrets and cope alone with whatever goes wrong.
Drinking may not be the answer but tears are too locked in the eyes to cry.
Keeping ones' self busy is keeping ones' self going.
Now it's too easy to fear the future.
Not wanting to be alone but not having to deal with disappointed ended love.
It's hard to know what you do and don't want let alone what's going to happen.
Try not to think about it, just get on with it with a smile.
May be it's easy to smile but hard to stop thinking about you.
No matter how I try I find my feelings for you are hard to go. 9.12.2012
Time is passing by.
When I look at the world everyone is in love but not everyone.
Now I realise I'm like a ticking clock tricking so fast years are racing by yet I try not to wait for things to happen because they take too long.
It's easy to understand why every middle age person feels alone.
It's too easy to think this is the end of you when it's not.
It's too easy to feel alone when the world is full of young love.
Your never too old, you just forget that you were young in love once but never thought about the older ones alone.
The future is hard to see but your life isn't over yet, it just taken longer to mend when broken like it used to. 9.12.2012
when everyone knows.
When everyone knows nothing and no one is your own.
They think you only care about yourself, which is not true.
This can make you so misunderstood.
When everyone knows everything of yours nothing and no one is your own, it's there for everyone and everything.
We should all have rights to have something or someone our own. 9. 12.2012
a brave face.
Step into the world to show them your there.
Show them no fear even though you may have fear.
You are more than a stranger to them what they think.
You may worry more than you should.
The world may seem worse than what it is.
Once you have taken one step you can take another one.
Nothing lost anything gained.
Many things happen for the right reasons even they seem wrong. 9.12.2012
it’s hard but I will get by.
Not that you don't feel to same about me as you used to.
I feel lonelier than I did before.
Don't worry, don't feel bad.
Who am I, I know I am no one special at all?
Of course you are going to love again one day so will I.
He's out there somewhere but I don't know where.
I guess I won't meet him for a long time to come.
I believe he'll be just as nice as you but it's not fare to say better.
May be I live in fear of been alone but in fear of losing disappointed love again.
I guess I just accept too much without meaning to.
May be I should except to be loved or live in fear of love.
This could be why every relationship has failed.
I should stop feeling sorry for myself; I know I'm not alone.
May be loneliness isn't my problem, maybe it's the thought of getting old.
Then old age isn't a problem I hope I get wiser.
No rush to love again, I will take my time and won't be easy to get next time round.
Why should I go back to a bad boy after losing a good boy, maybe I will get a better boy next time? 9.12.2012
too scared to talk.
Too scared of saying the wrong thing even though one may mean it.
It may not be nice but it may be the truth.
One can be scared of the truth in a good way as well as a bad but then the truth isn't always what we want heard then we do, it's no good living in a lie.
Not wanting to hurt the feelings of others.
Not wanting to fall out with others because they can't agree with you and you can't agree with them.
Everyone has rights to their own views.
Not everyone gets along: not everyone doesn't get along.
Right or wrong you can't make feelings go away until feelings want to.
We all make mistakes: not all are mistakes.
It's what we say and do what matters; thinking is just thoughts not words. 9. 12. 2012
Understanding people.
The only people who understand we is we.
Freedom is important we without knowing it we control one another.
We are looked at as strange from strangers as if we have masks to cover as faces.
We are looked at as if we are wrong all the while.
We are looked as if we are not human.
We looked at if we are nuts and out of our minds all the time.
There's a fear if we are watched all the time.
As if what we do and say is wrong all the time.
A fear of been bitten, shouted at and hit because others don't see life like we do. 9.12.2012
Hard to trust.
To be able to trust is to know that there's faith that no one will judge you for what you do and say.
To be able to look at the world with ones' head up high without fear of strange looks.
It should be easy to believe on ones' self and others. 9.12.2012
loving too much.
If you love someone let them be themselves.
Don't try to make them love you because you love them.
One day your feelings will match with someone.
Be careful because many pretend to love you when they don't.
Don't pretend to love someone when you don't because then that's lying in love.
Be yourself, others will respect you.
The secret is to not let them know you love them, let them work it out for themselves, even better unless you know for sure they love you.
They will hate you if you force their feelings to be the same as yours.
They will play with your feelings if they don't match theirs.
Be brave enough to take the pain there are plenty more that love you.
The best love takes a long time to find out about.
Don't rush feelings to go away.
Feeling will go away when they are going to. 9.12.12
Failed love.
You may have given me pain but I gave you all the love I could.
The pain you gave me made me a stronger person in the end.
Never judge what you don't know.
You may have known me a long time but you don't know everything about me.
See what you see of me when the door is open but when it's closed the only person who knows me am me. 9.12.12
when I was awake I was asleep.
The voices I heard were shouting at me to wake me up as I was in my own world.
I think I was been asked questions that I didn't know the answers to.
The teachers wrote so much jargon on the board in school.
It seemed as if I never paid a great attention with the world around me.
This is why I learned nothing in school anything at all.
They moved my table and chair to the end of the class.
Let kids laugh at me and bullying was hell outside on the playground.
They made me feel so thick and small that they all called me thick.
For all the tablets I took, if I were still taking them my adulthood would have been distorted as well as my childhood.
Now kids and teachers I'm not the person I was, I've learned more since I left school.
In school I learned nothing at at all. 9.12.12
Why did you?
Why did you play with my mind?
Why did you make me cry?
You knew I told you I loved you that are why.
Now things have turned the other way round.
The only difference is that I mean what I say.
I don't feel the same towards you like I used to.
Your loss you never loved me when I did love you.
You only pretend to love me to keep me happy.
I can't believe I lived 13 and half years with a lie.
Why should I care how you feel anymore because you never cared about my feelings when I had feelings for you? 9.12.12
Feelings.
I meant everything I said to you.
I only wish I said nothing at all.
I wish I kept my thoughts to myself even though nothing has been said ever since.
Sorry I said it at the wrong time.
I must move on to think that you don't feel the same as I do.
I know I got up set before hand but I have a lot on my mind.
I bet you wonder why I feel this way all of a sudden.
I have shocked myself to think it's sudden for me to feel this way about someone at this point. 12.12.12 - 23.12.12
Out of all poems.
I bet you'd be shocked to read what I have to say to you in this poem.
I bet you wonder why I have written this poem all of a sudden.
Out of all poems I have written this has not been an easy poem to write.
I have had to write a few poems to get to my point to accept the things I want and can't have in life.
Saying how I feel isn't easy otherwise I wouldn't have written this poem.
I have written this poem because I don't want to show you up in front of people in the pub. 12.12.12 - 23.12.12
it may not be as bad as I think.
Sorry there's no easy way for me to tell you.
I never thought I'd feel this way about someone so quickly.
I feel so silly because I don't know you very well.
I can't bring myself to tell you because you may not speak to me again if I do.
In a way I want to tell you but in another way I don't.
I don't want to make life hard for you but I would be lying to myself and you if I said I don't feel this way.
I may be worrying about nothing.
I don't want to risk losing your friendship
I've tried so hard to block you out my mind but it's no good.
I hope I don't find myself telling you one day.
I must learn to accept friendship again.
I don't want to spoil things in case you have someone special in your life.
Despite of the way I feel about you, I must cope with it because I have so much respect for you. 12.12.12 - 23.12.12
finding it hard to trust you.
I shouldn't have trusted you from the start.
I'm so glad I didn't marry you.
Even now I'm not sure whether or not you were cheating on me.
Even now it's hard to say whether or not you were unfaithful.
What makes me think this is that you were texting allot in front of me and getting texts back.
You made me feel very stressed and very uncomfortable that's why I won't have you back.
I kept on thinking this was a bad dream.
I may be wrong in what I did thought but the texts you sent and the texts you had back went on far too long because I loved you so much. 13.12.12
Just because I haven't cried.
Just because I haven't cried it's going to be a wet Christmas without you.
Eating less affects my emotions.
The nasty things the others have put through the pain made me cry more.
The pain from you hurts more because there was no pain but it hurts more than things now won't be the same again.
To me you’re so special I try to tell myself next time I will do even better.
May the best of love for me have gone?
I can't believe that there may well never be another you.
May be I shouldn't have written this poem, If I hadn't I still would have been your love. 23.12.12
Scared of getting old and alone.
May be I shouldn't be scared of being old and alone.
May be I should be strong enough to take the not to love again.
May be the pain from others have made me stronger.
I must be weak to be scared to be old and alone.
Yet I'm ashamed to be weak. 23.12.12
I'm a lot more down than I show.
Although tear don't cry the pain is deep down inside.
No emotions cried out.
A smile might be on my face but the pain and feelings are deep down inside.
Losing weight has now been my way of showing my emotions even I need to lose weight.
Eating less seems to be the way instead of crying.
If only I spend the time with you when you offered me to.
Even though our feelings are still there for one another it wouldn't be right knowing that things won't be the same again.
Whatever I would have done I would have felt so ashamed.
It was a no win situation.
I didn't know what to do for the best. 23.12.12
when I first met you.
When I first met you to me you were just a friend.
I never thought I'd love you more than a friend.
Now that I have lost you I see no other lover.
Everything that was said between us we told no one else but ourselves.
May be I will love again but a long time to come or never at all.
It's hard to see the wood between the trees.
Take no notice of me I'm just so silly you see.
I'm just a middle aged lady feeling sorry for ones' self. 23.12.12
the future is unknown.
It's hard to believe that someone special has gone out my life.
I didn't mean to make myself misunderstood.
How long will it take for me to get use to you not being mined anymore?
The future is so unknown.
After having been with someone as nice as you, it's hard to believe who could be nicer?
I may love again or never again.
May be 'm stronger and braver than I think to be alone.
The loneliness of getting old. 23.12.12
No going back.
No going back where we were.
Our love was always a secret so is our break up.
I wonder who will be in my life next if anyone.
I wonder who will take on your world next.
Getting along with others without saying a word to the world.
How long will she take on your world for?
For me the situation wasn't a problem.
It was harder for me to know your feelings knowing I saw so little of you.
Yet longer time apart more to look forward to when we were together.
It was wrong to break when we had something going so special between us.
May be you think I'm better off with someone who can spend more time with me.
Yet why would I put up with someone all the while when I have done it before? 23.12.12
Not the same.
Feelings far too strong but empty.
Thinking about you nonstop.
Trying to keep my mind busy to accept the fact what I want back I can't have back.
Not the same without your love.
Can't eat as much as normal. 24.12.12
Hard to believe.
Hard to believe that you’re not mine anymore.
Hard to believe that I'm not yours anymore.
Yet our love is still there for one another.
Words I said I made myself misunderstood.
I just wanted to know if you still felt the same way about me as I do about you.
Why did you end our love knowing that we still love one another?
How much time together and apart didn't matter to me I loved you all the same as I still do.
May be it's you that can't cope with your own situation.24.12.12
If only I could stop myself from having feelings.
If only my heart would stop beating for you.
The more my heart beats the more it breaks for you.
I have to tell myself that we aren't together anymore.
Every time I fell in love it always fails.
Love is a feeling hard to control.
Feelings are something that you can't rush to go away.
Feelings take their own time to go away or stay with you for life.
At this point is unknown how long my feelings will last for you. 24.12.12
some things are better not said.
It's unknown when he will come along.
He will never know about you.
Now our love has gone there's nothing to tell.
Yet in thoughts our love is still there.
Thinking is different to speaking.
I will never cheat but I will never forget the love we had.
Our secret still stands as I said some things are better off not being said.
As wicked as the secret is it's kept a secret for safety reason.
A private reason to protect ourselves and people. 24.12.12
Mail and communication.
Times are changing all the while.
It's hard to know whether communication is getting better or not.
From telegrams to letters from letters to texts from texts to emails not forgetting faxes.
Whatever next to come.
Keep the clocks ticking?
Keep the phones landlines and mobiles without a sound.
Turn the volume of peoples' when voices down when walking down the street.
When you heard strangers shout it seems like they are talking to you.
Keep the texts coming in without a sound but keep the emails coming free.
Bring back the call boxes but no heavy snow.
Bring back walking miles to the call boxes so that it cuts down the traffic on the roads.
Traffic costs too much to run is to why the country's money is running out. 24.12.12
on heat hanging on the ceiling.
I sat under the light hanging on the ceiling.
The lamp shade was shaking.
The heat was rising.
I was hanging.
The room span round and round as if I had a good many drinks.
I saw stars on the ceiling spinning around with me.
I had a very bad hair day after I washed my hair.
It went from wet and curly to dry to fizzy as my hair felt the heat.
I tried everything I could to make it dry and curly but it was no good.
This was just me chasing dreams of freedom. 28.12.12
Bunny rabbit.
I'm a bunny rabbit.
I have sticky out teeth.
I live in a hutch.
I eat carrots.
I can see in the dark.
I get so bored inside my hutch that I run wild when I am out of it. 28.12.12
Treatment.
Living on medication isn't fun.
Feeling dizzy and in another world.
You can miss what's going on around you.
It's hard to keep up with the rest of the world around you.
Many medications don't treat you like they should you.
Some medications that right you right bright something else on.
If life is like this then what are we here, what is life all about? 28.12.12
Freedom of speech.
You are born alone.
You die alone.
The world is nice to you when you are born.
You have a lot to learn.
You have a lot of good and bad to face.
Not all rights are your own.
Self is belief.
To what you think isn't always what others think.
To what you say isn't what others agree with.
No one likes the same.
You don't always have the freedom of speech. 28.12.12
how humans can change.
Childhood is unknown to you but known to the rest of the world.
Everything is so new.
Welcome to the adult world.
There's so much to learn.
You know even less when you spend years in school not learning at all.
Society has told you you'd never get anywhere in life.
You believe others around because you are a child.
You are misunderstood so you feel very bad inside.
Your past haunts you so bad that you have to find your own way to express yourself to be understood.
Only then society realises there's something about you after all, that is talent.
No matter who we are all good at something just most of us take longer to get there. 28.12.12
Unknown world.
Everyone is around you is speaking but you’re not hearing a thing.
No sound to be heard but people is making movements around you.
Not everyone understands everything about you.
You don't understand everything about them. 28.12.12
Dark world.
Nothing is seen in the world around you.
Sounds are heard everywhere you go.
You don't know when if you are going to feel anything and what you are going to feel.
You don't know what's going on when it's going to begin and end.
You don't how it's going to begin and end. 28.12.12
what is to come?
What is to come?
The future is hard to tell wait until tomorrow comes.
May be I will travel again when I am old.
I haven't worked hard enough yet.
May be I will be old when I see the sun.
For now my career comes first.
My career has been slow to come.
Now I am over 40 life is too short to waste.
You have spent your life fighting for your career.
It was never a career you thought of yet it's a career for you.
It took so long that you thought you'd be good for nothing and no one. 29.12.12
what next?
I have tears I need to cry that haven't yet.
One day I will cry over you but I don't know when.
New Year is not long to come so is that sparking Champaign.
Spring should be on its way but they tell us we have a long cold winter to come.
The sunshine seems a long time to come if ever at all 29.12.12
See what tomorrow brings.
No one can say for sure what tomorrow is going to bring.
The future is hard to tell until tomorrow is here.
Sometimes we are right and other times we are wrong about life.
Like the weather people are not always right or wrong.
Look out the window to see what the weather is like when you get up tomorrow.
They say the world is going to end caused by the weather therefore we will either freeze or burn to death by sun or ice.
Worry and Stress is the worst killer of all.
We think we have the whole world on our solders when we are young.
As we get old we worry less.
I can still hear much older people say when I was young.
" Worrying get's you in your grave."
At the time I never understood that saying.
Now I see the truth in that saying because I just live my life day by day. 29.12.12
Poetry, Anxiety and depression.
It's poetry that helps me accept life as it is.
As long as I keep my mind busy.
As long as I live my life busy.
Like us all as long as I have something to look forward to I can cope with life.
I am down if I have nothing at all.
I can't fight Anxiety and depression without poetry.
I can't cope in life with nothing.
I get sad and angry if I sit all the time bored.
Helping others helps me along.
Poetry helps me let out my thoughts. 29.12.12
without poetry.
Without poetry life would be more painful than what it is.
Without poetry I would look and feel silly for being down for no reason.
Poetry makes life as less as bad as what it is.
Poetry makes me see life different to what I'd be without poetry.
Without poetry I would never feel good about myself, I would be angrily about myself.
When see the good in yourself you see the good in others.
Life is what you make it in one way but not in another.
Each and every one of us I believe has something inside us.
We just cope with good and bad in life in different ways.
Most of us think thoughts too much, this where poetry comes in.
I'm a person who has a lot of thoughts which have for many years put into poetry.
Without poetry I would have held too much back. 29.12.12
when I feel anger.
When I feel anger I don't want to live.
When I feel anger I feel stress and tense.
There are too many thoughts going through my head to a point I want to write poetry.
I need to stop myself from getting angry and depression mainly when it's for no reason but sometimes there are reasons.
I need to stop myself from doing and say things I regret. 29.12.12
the Mind.
This is unknown to think what we are going to think.
Unknown to why we think what we think when we think.
Most thoughts seem odd to others yet unknown why to the person who thinks those thoughts.
Yet many thoughts seem odd to the person who’s thought them in time to come.
Thoughts can be unknown like feelings can be unknown.
Some thoughts and feelings may last for lives others may only last for a certain amount of time which either be short or long.
The thoughts we think can't please everyone.
What a boring world it would be if we were right and good all the time.
Not everyone is bad all the time even though a lot of us think we are. 29.12.12
Learning.
Learning is a good thing about life.
Without knowing it we learn something new every day.
Some of us learn quicker than others.
Some of us learn slower than others.
As life is ending we haven't learned enough but better going through life learning nothing at all. 29.12.12
Too much to cope with in life.
The head spins round and round.
Everyone makes out no one knows nothing at all about anything at all.
Too many people say different things to one thing.
There can't be millions of answers to one question can there?
Too many things happen at once or nothing at all.
They want you in too many places at once.
Too many people talk to you at once.
At times life is just too much at once. 29.12.12
I am what I am as well as who I am.
I am what I am as well as who I am.
What I was born to be is what I was to be as well as who I was born to be.
Who I was born to be am me.
I learned to be strong minded with not a great deal of choice in life due to my abilities.
Yet the change in me I don't think anyone or myself would be.
The person as a child and the person as an adult are two different messes.
It was hard for me to believe in me because others found it hard to see the good in me.
Now I have learned a lot in adulthood even though there's a limit of what I can do. 29.12.12
I think now the end has come.
It's too easy to think your life is over when being over 40.
A lot of break ups of marriages and relationships have late 30s to early 40s.
You stand and look in mirror to see what has changed in you not only the person you are in looks.
Too easy to think love has gone forever when your middle aged.
You tend to think this is the end but it's not in everyone.
That doesn't mean I am right because the truth is unknown to everyone.
It's hard to think of yourself growing old alone. 29.12.12
I try not to think about it.
I try not to think about being lonely.
I try not think about who walks into my life next if anyone at all.
Men have come and gone out of my life, I guess they will carry as they always have done.
Thinking more of moving on.
Thinking more of getting strong.
Thinking more of accepting as it is and however it's going to be.
Time is so unknown anything could happen at time at all. 29.12.12
as it comes.
Some things in life are just dreams that many of us try not to chase.
Other things in life are real life.
It can be hard to say which wrong and which is right.
The truth of the weather is unknown until you look through the window every day.
Really in this life nothing is sure or unsure until the time comes.
Life is like a ticking clock as it ticks to the hour through the day and night.
Life is like the weather rain, snow and shine is unknown until it comes.
This can work the same as tears, sadness and happiness.
We are born to live then die whatever reason why is yet again unknown. 30.1.2012
complete year wash out to bring the New Year.
2012 has been a long wet year even through the summer.
It's been a complete wash out with floods here, there and everywhere.
It's unknown what 2013 will bring us.
It's been a wet blow out in storms and winds.
They tell us January 2013 will bring us the worst winter for a 100 years let's just see it when or if it comes.
30.12.12
I know.
I know you still love me like I love you.
Love is not an easy feeling to let go.
How I made myself misunderstood in the text.
I was only trying to ask you how you felt about me.
You told me before Christmas that it was pointless us carrying on.
For who me, you or both of us?
I can wait forever long.
Is what I am saying right or is this your way of saying you don't feel the same way about me anymore?
Why not tell the truth to tell me you don't want me in your life anymore.
If that's the case it may hurt me but at least it may be the truth.
If you feel this way why was I in your life in the first place?
I wouldn't have known a thing if I wouldn't have known how you felt about me at the time.
Don't be scared to tell me the truth even though it may hurt me.
I'd rather know the truth even if you don't like me.
Please be honest with me too many men have played games with my mind when they knew I had loved them. 30.12.12
doesn’t play games with my feelings?
You know I love you so much so don't play with my feelings!
Ok we didn't spent time together last time but that wouldn't have been wise because of us not been together anymore.
It was hard to say no when I so much wanted to spent time with you knowing that I still love you.
It's hard to know whether or not you feel the same way I guess you did we'd still be together now. 30.12.12
New Year 2012 - 2013.
Christmas has been and gone.
What's
Christmas and New Year all about?
To end one year and begin another.
Too much money is spent paying spending all year round paying off the Christmas debts.
Christmas is a special day for children.
No fun for adults other than to eat too much and get drunk.
Soon be time to diet when the New Year is over.
May be the world isn't all black and white.
Like a holiday so nice to have but nice to go home.
Nice to have a break but nice to go back to work. 31. 12.12
start a fresh.
Make a fresh start.
What has happened has happened.
What's to happen is yet to come.
Keep memories in your thoughts. 31.12.12
let the old year out.
Let the old year out.
Let go of the past.
Keep the old diary and buy a new.
Shred old documents of 2012 unless they are very important.
Soon these dull bare winter trees will have a very few spring green leaves. 31.12.12
To end one year and begin another.
Too much money is spent paying spending all year round paying off the Christmas debts.
Christmas is a special day for children.
No fun for adults other than to eat too much and get drunk.
Soon be time to diet when the New Year is over.
May be the world isn't all black and white.
Like a holiday so nice to have but nice to go home.
Nice to have a break but nice to go back to work. 31. 12.12
start a fresh.
Make a fresh start.
What has happened has happened.
What's to happen is yet to come.
Keep memories in your thoughts. 31.12.12
let the old year out.
Let the old year out.
Let go of the past.
Keep the old diary and buy a new.
Shred old documents of 2012 unless they are very important.
Soon these dull bare winter trees will have a very few spring green leaves. 31.12.12
Last night of the year.
Drinking so many hours
before the start of New Year’s Day.
Wondering thoughts of what's happened all year
through.
The old year has gone the New Year is to come.
Here come the Scottish bag pipes.
The coal fire is keeping us warm.
12am bring out the Champagne and Chandeliers.
31.12.12
Time.
It seems a long way off from
one year ending to another year to end again.
Twelve mouths seem like forever but it's gone a
bank of an eye.
New Year’s Eve and day make the most of it and
eat away.
Time to save ourselves for another Christmas and
New Year to come.
Every year flees by; it makes you wonder life
passes by.
We are born
Tiger
Tim and Princess Sara Poems
The Disabled Couple.
I'm so happy to chat to you.
I will be more than happy when I see
you babe.
I'm missing you so much that I
already feel butterflies.
I feel the same too.
I want to be in your warm arms.
Babe kiss me my sweet Sara I love you
so much.
I will kiss you when I see you again.
We will be walking hand in hand on a
hot summer's day.
A poem coming along feeling like a
song.
A poem coming along about me and my
boyfriend.
Yes I am Tiger Tim I'm coming to get
you babe. By Tiger Tim and Princess Sara. 4th August 2013
Disability Love.
I want to be in her warm arms and she wants to be in my warm arms.
Babe, kiss me my sweet Sara I love you so much will kiss you again babe.
when i see you again because i want to be with you again.
we walk hand in hand together in the park in the warm sun.
I wish I was in your arms babe with the rising sun shining on to us with love, my King Tiger Tim babe. 2nd October 2013
Disability Love.
I want to be in her warm arms and she wants to be in my warm arms.
Babe, kiss me my sweet Sara I love you so much will kiss you again babe.
when i see you again because i want to be with you again.
we walk hand in hand together in the park in the warm sun.
I wish I was in your arms babe with the rising sun shining on to us with love, my King Tiger Tim babe. 2nd October 2013
to
live then to die, it makes you wonder why. 31.12.12
Slow down Tiger Tim.
Thank you for my card dear heart.
Thank you for my card dear heart.
Slow it's far too soon to get randy,
have you been drinking too many brandies? Ha ha
Slow down we haven't even met yet.
It's far too soon to hit the bed yet.
Slow down Tiger Tim if you wait as
long as it takes you will win me in.
A romantic meal between me and you is
the way I think about you.
When the time comes to cuddle up to a
romantic DVD, then you will be able to see what you think about me. 14.2.2013
They don't know
about (about being disabled)
They shouldn't look at us as if we are mad.
They shouldn't look at us as if we are sad.
They seem to think more of the bad in us than good.
They should think all bad in us.
They look at us to say and think we are useless and helpless.
They shouldn't judge us for what they see and hear of us.
It doesn't mean there are no disabilities just because they don't see them .
It doesn't mean we are useless and helpless either.
Whichever way they shouldn't judge to get us misunderstood.
They don't know about (being disabled) that's why they misunderstand us. 3rd - 4th March 2013
They shouldn't look at us as if we are mad.
They shouldn't look at us as if we are sad.
They seem to think more of the bad in us than good.
They should think all bad in us.
They look at us to say and think we are useless and helpless.
They shouldn't judge us for what they see and hear of us.
It doesn't mean there are no disabilities just because they don't see them .
It doesn't mean we are useless and helpless either.
Whichever way they shouldn't judge to get us misunderstood.
They don't know about (being disabled) that's why they misunderstand us. 3rd - 4th March 2013
Chatting 2 u.
When I first spoke 2
u on the dating site friendship was all I wanted as I had been on my own for
five and half neary six years.
Through chatting 2 u on Facebook my feelings are getting stronger towards u.
I hope it will be worth it in the end and that we will still feel the same way as we do now about one another.
Let's hope it will be worth the date as well as the wait.
We will get 2 know one another more however long it takes.
I never live my life in hope someone will feel the same as I do because I have been hurt before, trust something I need to get over more.
I never live in hope that a realtionship will last for life, for it will surprising if it does with the luck have had in the past, even though now I have learn to trust again since I have met you.
The more and more I am getting 2 know u online my feelings are growing stronger and stronger. 16.3.2013
Through chatting 2 u on Facebook my feelings are getting stronger towards u.
I hope it will be worth it in the end and that we will still feel the same way as we do now about one another.
Let's hope it will be worth the date as well as the wait.
We will get 2 know one another more however long it takes.
I never live my life in hope someone will feel the same as I do because I have been hurt before, trust something I need to get over more.
I never live in hope that a realtionship will last for life, for it will surprising if it does with the luck have had in the past, even though now I have learn to trust again since I have met you.
The more and more I am getting 2 know u online my feelings are growing stronger and stronger. 16.3.2013
Chatting 2 u.
When I first spoke 2 u on the dating site friendship was all I know after been on my own 5 and half years.
Through chatting 2 u on Facebook my feelings are getting stronger towards u.
I hope it will be worth it in the end and that we will still feel the same way as we do now about one another.
Let's hope it will be worth the date.
We will get 2 know one another more however long it takes.
I never live my life in hopes someone will feel the same as I do because I have been hurt before, trust something I need 2 get over more.
The more and more I am getting 2 know you online my feelings are growing stronger and stronger. 16.3.2013
When I first spoke 2 u on the dating site friendship was all I know after been on my own 5 and half years.
Through chatting 2 u on Facebook my feelings are getting stronger towards u.
I hope it will be worth it in the end and that we will still feel the same way as we do now about one another.
Let's hope it will be worth the date.
We will get 2 know one another more however long it takes.
I never live my life in hopes someone will feel the same as I do because I have been hurt before, trust something I need 2 get over more.
The more and more I am getting 2 know you online my feelings are growing stronger and stronger. 16.3.2013
Unknown 2 both of
us.
It all seems like a long wait until we met again but every day is getting closer.
It's not as long as it seems for the final moment.
To see how we feel about one another after we have met to see if we are going to be interested in one another.
It's surprising how chatting to one another online can be part of our lives, which it's already making our feelings strong everyday but very much unknown to how we feel about one another when we meet. 16.3.2013
It all seems like a long wait until we met again but every day is getting closer.
It's not as long as it seems for the final moment.
To see how we feel about one another after we have met to see if we are going to be interested in one another.
It's surprising how chatting to one another online can be part of our lives, which it's already making our feelings strong everyday but very much unknown to how we feel about one another when we meet. 16.3.2013
Too soon to
know.
It's too soon to know.
My feelings are too uncontrolled.
Whether it's right or wrong my feelings are getting stronger and stronger.
Time seems like longer and longer.
Just chatting online doesn't say a lot but the more I chat to you I feel a bond between us .
The more we chat though it's surprising what we learn off one another.
Computers, art and music we may love but unknown to whether they make us love one another. 16.3.2013
It's too soon to know.
My feelings are too uncontrolled.
Whether it's right or wrong my feelings are getting stronger and stronger.
Time seems like longer and longer.
Just chatting online doesn't say a lot but the more I chat to you I feel a bond between us .
The more we chat though it's surprising what we learn off one another.
Computers, art and music we may love but unknown to whether they make us love one another. 16.3.2013
Take your time don't rush!
Take your time don't
rush!
Take your time don't
rush!
You will get there in the end if you are patience enough.
Think before you speak.
Don't decide anything until or unless you know what you’re doing.
We need to be sure about one another.
Doesn’t turn left, right or straight on until you know where to turn?
Think about things very carefully and take your time.
Don't be too quick and don't be too slow because life is too short to waist.
Think about things very carefully so take your time.
Put faiths into trust before hand don’t rush.
Waiting can be hard but worth it in the end.
Things will only be done right if they are done slowly.
Be sure of yourself before you do anything.
What you want will come in time. 5.4.2013
You will get there in the end if you are patience enough.
Think before you speak.
Don't decide anything until or unless you know what you’re doing.
We need to be sure about one another.
Doesn’t turn left, right or straight on until you know where to turn?
Think about things very carefully and take your time.
Don't be too quick and don't be too slow because life is too short to waist.
Think about things very carefully so take your time.
Put faiths into trust before hand don’t rush.
Waiting can be hard but worth it in the end.
Things will only be done right if they are done slowly.
Be sure of yourself before you do anything.
What you want will come in time. 5.4.2013
Us.
However far apart we are we are just a computer,
Email, phone, text and Facebook away
Time will only tell whether we are friends or lovers.
Whatever happens we will never hate one another.
Learn from your past to create a better future.
Live for today yesterday has gone.
Let's hope for tomorrow.
Be patience there are plenty more days of your life to come but they are too short to waist. 7.4.2013
However far apart we are we are just a computer,
Email, phone, text and Facebook away
Time will only tell whether we are friends or lovers.
Whatever happens we will never hate one another.
Learn from your past to create a better future.
Live for today yesterday has gone.
Let's hope for tomorrow.
Be patience there are plenty more days of your life to come but they are too short to waist. 7.4.2013
New chapter in the
book.
New chapter in the book.
Now it's just the beginning.
Now our life has just begun.
The future is unknown.
Everything is far too soon to say.
I have spent days writing this poem in my mind but on paper the words don't seem to come out right.
I only hope we feel the same way as we do when we meet.
Butterflies are flying in my stomach and my nevus are on edge yet I am so looking forward to meeting you.
I'm amazed just by taking to you online how my feelings have grown for you and your feelings towards me.
Only time will tell us if our future it is meant to be or not.
Let our friendship grow but we shouldn't force anything that's not meant to be.7.4.2013
New chapter in the book.
Now it's just the beginning.
Now our life has just begun.
The future is unknown.
Everything is far too soon to say.
I have spent days writing this poem in my mind but on paper the words don't seem to come out right.
I only hope we feel the same way as we do when we meet.
Butterflies are flying in my stomach and my nevus are on edge yet I am so looking forward to meeting you.
I'm amazed just by taking to you online how my feelings have grown for you and your feelings towards me.
Only time will tell us if our future it is meant to be or not.
Let our friendship grow but we shouldn't force anything that's not meant to be.7.4.2013
riendship.
Live in hope that we have friendship always no matter what happens.
It's just very lucky if we do grow to more than just friendship.
It's far too soon to know what will become of us.
Feelings are hard to control but we both need to be sure what we both want.
It's far too soon to know even though our feelings are there for one another.
Friendship can be hard to keep without it growing into more.
I like many other people have had broken relationships through falling for someone far too soon.
We can only do our best to take our time but never hate one another.
Feelings can be very mixed up with not knowing what's going to happen. 9.4.2013
Live in hope that we have friendship always no matter what happens.
It's just very lucky if we do grow to more than just friendship.
It's far too soon to know what will become of us.
Feelings are hard to control but we both need to be sure what we both want.
It's far too soon to know even though our feelings are there for one another.
Friendship can be hard to keep without it growing into more.
I like many other people have had broken relationships through falling for someone far too soon.
We can only do our best to take our time but never hate one another.
Feelings can be very mixed up with not knowing what's going to happen. 9.4.2013
Can't sleep.
Can't sleep with you on my mind unknown to how both of us or either one of us are going to feel when we meet.
Even though we have enjoyed one another's company online, we still have a lot to find out about one another.
It can still take time to know how we feel for one another face to face.
Very early days only time will tell.
I try to control my feelings and see it at this early stage of friendship but my feeling are growing far too fast.
The way I feel about you now is too much to bear.
Even though we are meeting today, how will we feel tomorrow?
It's far too soon to know and say.
By just chatting online it's far too easy to think that our friendship has grown.
It will be interesting to know what it will be like when we meet. 9.4.2013
Can't sleep with you on my mind unknown to how both of us or either one of us are going to feel when we meet.
Even though we have enjoyed one another's company online, we still have a lot to find out about one another.
It can still take time to know how we feel for one another face to face.
Very early days only time will tell.
I try to control my feelings and see it at this early stage of friendship but my feeling are growing far too fast.
The way I feel about you now is too much to bear.
Even though we are meeting today, how will we feel tomorrow?
It's far too soon to know and say.
By just chatting online it's far too easy to think that our friendship has grown.
It will be interesting to know what it will be like when we meet. 9.4.2013
If only I knew.
If only I knew what your thinking now.
If only I knew what's going to happen when we meet today.
No second of this morning can come quickly enough.
Nothing comes quick enough when you’re waiting for it to happen.
I must be patience let time come round slowly hopefully it will be worth the wait of the date. 9.4.2013
If only I knew what your thinking now.
If only I knew what's going to happen when we meet today.
No second of this morning can come quickly enough.
Nothing comes quick enough when you’re waiting for it to happen.
I must be patience let time come round slowly hopefully it will be worth the wait of the date. 9.4.2013
How I felt before
the date.
Thoughts are running through my mind wondering what will happen next.
Thoughts that have woken me up this morning far too soon.
Unanswered questions are going through my head.
My thoughts are still unknown yet I will write away until this pen runs out of ink, which may happen before I run out of thoughts.
This could happen to us either way but which ever way we will never hate one another.
There will be no hate between us whatever the date brings. 9.4.2013
Thoughts are running through my mind wondering what will happen next.
Thoughts that have woken me up this morning far too soon.
Unanswered questions are going through my head.
My thoughts are still unknown yet I will write away until this pen runs out of ink, which may happen before I run out of thoughts.
This could happen to us either way but which ever way we will never hate one another.
There will be no hate between us whatever the date brings. 9.4.2013
My friend.
My friend my male friend, friendship or relationship live in hope to be there for one another till the end.
It's very early days yet.
My nevus are kicking inside me more and more.
Butterflies are flying around my stomach again and again. 9.4.2013
How do you feel now?
The feelings are there still from before we met.
I am just talking my time to get to know you and to be honest with you.
I wouldn't string you along, if I say anything I will be honest what I say.
More time we take over it the more worth it if more than friends ever happens.
It will only happen if and when it's right and meant to be.
You have as much right as anyone to live the same life as everyone.
You need honestly in someone who is making sure of herself and how she feels, which is what she's going to do.
No saying hello one day then goodbye the next.
With me I am straight down the line it's either hello or goodbye all the way. 11.4.2013
My friend my male friend, friendship or relationship live in hope to be there for one another till the end.
It's very early days yet.
My nevus are kicking inside me more and more.
Butterflies are flying around my stomach again and again. 9.4.2013
How do you feel now?
The feelings are there still from before we met.
I am just talking my time to get to know you and to be honest with you.
I wouldn't string you along, if I say anything I will be honest what I say.
More time we take over it the more worth it if more than friends ever happens.
It will only happen if and when it's right and meant to be.
You have as much right as anyone to live the same life as everyone.
You need honestly in someone who is making sure of herself and how she feels, which is what she's going to do.
No saying hello one day then goodbye the next.
With me I am straight down the line it's either hello or goodbye all the way. 11.4.2013
es I do want to see
you again.
Yes I do want to see you again whatever happens.
I like and care about you as a person.
Like you as person, it's the same with me many people look at my disabilities not the person I am.
It's like no one seems to see the good in us as if they have weaknesses but we are stong too.
Our weeknesses are different to them but we are stronger than them in different ways they are stronger than us.
Only time will tell how you and I will end up.
Whatever goes on between you and me there's no need for any hate to happen between us.
Just take our time whatever happens, when anything happens, if anything happens.
In the mean time enjoy chatting 2 one another online, text, phone and email.
This will give us more time to get to know one another.
Take everyday as it comes.
It's better to have someone in some way than no one at all. 11.4.2013
Yes I do want to see you again whatever happens.
I like and care about you as a person.
Like you as person, it's the same with me many people look at my disabilities not the person I am.
It's like no one seems to see the good in us as if they have weaknesses but we are stong too.
Our weeknesses are different to them but we are stronger than them in different ways they are stronger than us.
Only time will tell how you and I will end up.
Whatever goes on between you and me there's no need for any hate to happen between us.
Just take our time whatever happens, when anything happens, if anything happens.
In the mean time enjoy chatting 2 one another online, text, phone and email.
This will give us more time to get to know one another.
Take everyday as it comes.
It's better to have someone in some way than no one at all. 11.4.2013
Life goes on.
For a time I was lost and I felt alone after loving someone for so long.
It’s hard to believe I was on my own for nearly 6 years.
Been alone wasn't the reason for starting to chat to you, I tried not to look for love at all.
Friendship was all I thought it would be but I was surprised to see you and me are to be.
Everyone saw me carrying on as if nothing happened but underneath I was hurt.
I must carry on thinking that I have a new life with you now.
It takes so long to use to a new way of life.
I used to feel hurt a lot but not anymore.
It's seemed so long I felt hurt it was as if nothing was going to change.
I never thought I was going to get better.
Now it's just a case of how long this date will last compared to what I have had before.
I must take my time this time round, none of us are getting any younger.
I only hope that I am getting wiser.
What am I waiting for?
Inside my nevus are going half a mile to the dozen because everything been so new to me, what about you?
I'm unsure of every move I make just in case I make it too soon.
Butterflies are already flying round inside me waiting to see you again.
Whatever happened to me yesterday I put behind, now you are on my mind.
I must carry on to putting the past behind me all that has gone.
No matter how I feel inside I smile on the outside.
I can't wait to see you again. 17.4.2013
For a time I was lost and I felt alone after loving someone for so long.
It’s hard to believe I was on my own for nearly 6 years.
Been alone wasn't the reason for starting to chat to you, I tried not to look for love at all.
Friendship was all I thought it would be but I was surprised to see you and me are to be.
Everyone saw me carrying on as if nothing happened but underneath I was hurt.
I must carry on thinking that I have a new life with you now.
It takes so long to use to a new way of life.
I used to feel hurt a lot but not anymore.
It's seemed so long I felt hurt it was as if nothing was going to change.
I never thought I was going to get better.
Now it's just a case of how long this date will last compared to what I have had before.
I must take my time this time round, none of us are getting any younger.
I only hope that I am getting wiser.
What am I waiting for?
Inside my nevus are going half a mile to the dozen because everything been so new to me, what about you?
I'm unsure of every move I make just in case I make it too soon.
Butterflies are already flying round inside me waiting to see you again.
Whatever happened to me yesterday I put behind, now you are on my mind.
I must carry on to putting the past behind me all that has gone.
No matter how I feel inside I smile on the outside.
I can't wait to see you again. 17.4.2013
I believe I will get
there in the end.
Now you have gone offline I miss you but I know we will be back there chatting time.
I believe I will get there and it will be worth it in the end.
My feelings for you are hard to control and my friendship for you is growing into more.
Yet I know it's far early days still but I find my feelings hard to show.
I am thinking about you all the time even when either one or both of us are offline.
I'm wishing I was with you but I am glad to have my space.
I don't want to rush into things because I don't want to spoil a thing between us.
It's seems so silly in one way because it's still such early days.
Yet my feelings are getting stronger and stronger for you everyday.
I missing chatting to you online but I understand that both of us have other things in our lives, even though our feelings are growing towards one another everyday.
It's only a matter of time until we see one another again we will make it worth it again.
When see one another again we will make a go of this together.
Let's hope its sunny weather.
I know I have to wait just like you do so we will have to control one another’s' feelings till then.
Can't wait to see you again waiting is hard to do we can hang on there.
I know that neither of us can wait to meet again.
I can't wait to see you walking off the train holding my hand again. 25.4.2013
Now you have gone offline I miss you but I know we will be back there chatting time.
I believe I will get there and it will be worth it in the end.
My feelings for you are hard to control and my friendship for you is growing into more.
Yet I know it's far early days still but I find my feelings hard to show.
I am thinking about you all the time even when either one or both of us are offline.
I'm wishing I was with you but I am glad to have my space.
I don't want to rush into things because I don't want to spoil a thing between us.
It's seems so silly in one way because it's still such early days.
Yet my feelings are getting stronger and stronger for you everyday.
I missing chatting to you online but I understand that both of us have other things in our lives, even though our feelings are growing towards one another everyday.
It's only a matter of time until we see one another again we will make it worth it again.
When see one another again we will make a go of this together.
Let's hope its sunny weather.
I know I have to wait just like you do so we will have to control one another’s' feelings till then.
Can't wait to see you again waiting is hard to do we can hang on there.
I know that neither of us can wait to meet again.
I can't wait to see you walking off the train holding my hand again. 25.4.2013
There doesn't seem
and need to be a reason why I love you.
It's very unexplained why I love you other than I find you very respectable towards me and to me there's something very special about.
What is special about you to me I can't put my finger on that either.
All I know is that I love you, which I couldn't control even if I wanted to.
My reasons for my feelings towards you are just so unknown to myself as well as you.
Why would I want to try and control the way I feel about you when the way we feel about one another makes one another happy?
I love you and want you no one can take that away from me whether they like it or not.
I feel this way about you whether it's right or wrong my feelings for you are very strong.
There should be no wrong or and no shame for loving a person for a person mainly the way I love you.
I love you.
I hate the way people judge people.
At the end of the day everyone has good and bad in them it doesn't matter who and what they are. 5.5.2013
It's very unexplained why I love you other than I find you very respectable towards me and to me there's something very special about.
What is special about you to me I can't put my finger on that either.
All I know is that I love you, which I couldn't control even if I wanted to.
My reasons for my feelings towards you are just so unknown to myself as well as you.
Why would I want to try and control the way I feel about you when the way we feel about one another makes one another happy?
I love you and want you no one can take that away from me whether they like it or not.
I feel this way about you whether it's right or wrong my feelings for you are very strong.
There should be no wrong or and no shame for loving a person for a person mainly the way I love you.
I love you.
I hate the way people judge people.
At the end of the day everyone has good and bad in them it doesn't matter who and what they are. 5.5.2013
I don't want to lose
the happiness I have got.
I can't help but love you but I don't want to lose the happiness I have got.
I don't want to spoil a thing by rushing into things.
It's far too easy to love too soon when feelings are so strong so I need to slow down.
The good and nice feelings are hard to control but I don't want be ungratefully to happiness.
I don't want to throw away the happiness I have got.
I just need to slow down because I don't want to spoil a thing we have got.
I never thought I would love anyone like you but I do.
I admit on our first date because we only just meet I was nevus like you but I was unsure of my own feelings.
Since then my feelings have grown towards you even more.
I was feeling very sad when you had gone on the train after our first date.
It was only then that I started to know how I was really starting to feel towards you.
I found it hard to show my feelings on the date yet I couldn't wait to see you before hand.
I was very sad to see you go; it was only when you had gone my feelings I wanted to show.
I had to stop myself from starting to cry regretting not showing my feelings when you were here.
I felt so ashamed with myself when you'd gone it felt too late, and then I thought no I will be dating him again. 6.5.2013
I can't help but love you but I don't want to lose the happiness I have got.
I don't want to spoil a thing by rushing into things.
It's far too easy to love too soon when feelings are so strong so I need to slow down.
The good and nice feelings are hard to control but I don't want be ungratefully to happiness.
I don't want to throw away the happiness I have got.
I just need to slow down because I don't want to spoil a thing we have got.
I never thought I would love anyone like you but I do.
I admit on our first date because we only just meet I was nevus like you but I was unsure of my own feelings.
Since then my feelings have grown towards you even more.
I was feeling very sad when you had gone on the train after our first date.
It was only then that I started to know how I was really starting to feel towards you.
I found it hard to show my feelings on the date yet I couldn't wait to see you before hand.
I was very sad to see you go; it was only when you had gone my feelings I wanted to show.
I had to stop myself from starting to cry regretting not showing my feelings when you were here.
I felt so ashamed with myself when you'd gone it felt too late, and then I thought no I will be dating him again. 6.5.2013
We never knew.
We never thought of love when we first spoke online, which at that time was fine.
In time our feelings grow more and more towards one another as we got chatting.
Even now it's still unknown whether one found the other or we found each other.
Time goes so fast when we are chatting yet so slow when we are not.
Time when so fast when we were dating one another twice seeing one another yet seeing one another again seems so long to come.
What I have said is true no one I have loved has loved me as much as you do. 28.5.2013.
We never thought of love when we first spoke online, which at that time was fine.
In time our feelings grow more and more towards one another as we got chatting.
Even now it's still unknown whether one found the other or we found each other.
Time goes so fast when we are chatting yet so slow when we are not.
Time when so fast when we were dating one another twice seeing one another yet seeing one another again seems so long to come.
What I have said is true no one I have loved has loved me as much as you do. 28.5.2013.
We believe in each
other.
I believe you have faith in yourself so I believe that you have faith in me.
I believe you know what and who you want in your life and you never change your mind.
I believe you know what you want within me.
Its great have someone in my life who believes in because no other man I have had in my life has.
Yes I believe that you believe in me like I believe in you.
I believe you bring the positive in me yet you’re cleverer than me.
You believing the positive in me are helping me slowly to think positive about myself. 21.7.2013.
I believe you have faith in yourself so I believe that you have faith in me.
I believe you know what and who you want in your life and you never change your mind.
I believe you know what you want within me.
Its great have someone in my life who believes in because no other man I have had in my life has.
Yes I believe that you believe in me like I believe in you.
I believe you bring the positive in me yet you’re cleverer than me.
You believing the positive in me are helping me slowly to think positive about myself. 21.7.2013.
Before I met you online.
I spoke to quite a few guys before I met you online but none of them were my type.
I spoke to quite a few guys before I met you online but none of them were my type.
To me going to relationship wasn't
the right time at that time.
Some where pushy, others wanted more than friendship, others were boring and others wanted their cake and eat it, before you that are what it was like for me all the time.
Since I met you online you have given me a good time chatting to you every time.
When I met you I accepted to full in love with you online.
I thought I'd write some lines of what's going through my mind.
I'm thinking about you all the time.
You are very very very very very very very very very very very very very kind.
You are mine and I can't get you off my mind.
Now for me and you now is the time to start our life.
Now I wish you where by my side.
With you have felt wine and dined, which I have never felt like that for sometime.
At that point I just wanted friendship just talking about every day life.
There were a few that contacted me who wanted too much of me at that time.
Many could have wanted my money in time.
Many could have been out of their minds.
I know even with you if took me a while to decide what was going through my mind at our dating time. 21.7.2013.
Some where pushy, others wanted more than friendship, others were boring and others wanted their cake and eat it, before you that are what it was like for me all the time.
Since I met you online you have given me a good time chatting to you every time.
When I met you I accepted to full in love with you online.
I thought I'd write some lines of what's going through my mind.
I'm thinking about you all the time.
You are very very very very very very very very very very very very very kind.
You are mine and I can't get you off my mind.
Now for me and you now is the time to start our life.
Now I wish you where by my side.
With you have felt wine and dined, which I have never felt like that for sometime.
At that point I just wanted friendship just talking about every day life.
There were a few that contacted me who wanted too much of me at that time.
Many could have wanted my money in time.
Many could have been out of their minds.
I know even with you if took me a while to decide what was going through my mind at our dating time. 21.7.2013.
TIGER TIM AND PRINCESS SARA IN LOVE.
We want to be each others arms.
Kiss me my sweet babe I love you so
much.
I will kiss you again when I see you
because I want to be with you.
We want to walk hand in hand together
in the warm sun.
Between us already our love is so
strong for one another.
I would have loved to come to see you
now.
I wish could see you but it's never
too late.
Is that what you say to be written in
the poem babe I know you mean it babe or are you meaning it to tell me or both.
Both reasons babe.
I may as well write it? Shall I ?
Yes babe it's never too late to love
which we have each other.
It's taking me a while to write this
poem babe so bare with me.
No worries.
I am laughing as I am writing it.
I get so carried away with words.
I may as well write what we say all
night.
No way nothing will be private if I
put into a poem everything we say to one another.
You must let me know babe when I get
carried away with words babe. 3rd August 2013
YOU CAN'T CHANGE WHAT'S HAPPENED NOW
YOU HAVE DONE IT.
You can’t mend what has been broken.
Mark David Chapman, it's too late to
say you’re sorry because you have already done the damage.
John Lennon hoped to be Jesus Christ
and come back to live.
Let's be honest after death.
Even there was life after death John
Lennon would have been haunting you Mark David Chapman.
Do you believe in Jesus Christ?
Do you think he will come back to live.
May be Jesus will but John Lennon
won't.
Do you believe in hell on earth but
peace in heaven?
That wasn't the way John Lennon saw
it.
John Lennon believes in peace on
earth.
I know answers are unknown what the
truth is so who know what and not to believe.
I was 11 years old in the class room
when Mr Stoll told me and many other children at the time of the bad news of
John Lennon's death.
I can still hear Mr Stoll telling us
now 30 odd yrs on.
The peace John was hoping for on
earth I hope he gets in heaven. 8.12.2007 - 5.7.2013
John Lennon.
John Lennon was a young hippie in the 1960s.
He believed in peace not war.
He would not be happy with the world been any other way than peace not war.
Today he'd be rolling in his grave if he saw knew what a mess the world is today.
John always rewarded brave people.
He wrote great song and poetry.
He drew and painted lovely pictures.
He was a very clever man.
The sad thing was that he did not die in people but with a bang.
Everyone guessed that John Lennon wanted to die at a peaceful grand old age with no pain but just in his sleep. 31.1.2001
John Lennon was a young hippie in the 1960s.
He believed in peace not war.
He would not be happy with the world been any other way than peace not war.
Today he'd be rolling in his grave if he saw knew what a mess the world is today.
John always rewarded brave people.
He wrote great song and poetry.
He drew and painted lovely pictures.
He was a very clever man.
The sad thing was that he did not die in people but with a bang.
Everyone guessed that John Lennon wanted to die at a peaceful grand old age with no pain but just in his sleep. 31.1.2001
Love.
Give the world as much love as you can.
It takes all kinds of people to make a war but it take all kinds of people to give love.
We are all in the same boat in ways fearing for people's lives and our own.
We should all get through this war together by loving and supporting another.
Know one will know where it will be one day to the next; most countries may be safe not but in the future who knows!
We must as much peace and love as much as we can but no war.
Be brave enough to take it day by day. 12-13.5.2003
War and peace.
What a life.
Make sure you have good times.
Try to get through the bad times.
You start off young.
You end up old but then you learn a lot more than you know now.
Everyone wonders about what life all is all about whether it's a waste or not.
Life is what you make it, if you make it good, it's no waste at all. There are too many people risking their lives for others.
They are risking their lives for you and me.
We are risking our lives in our country in order to live our lives.
There are too many dangerous people about on this earth sadly.
Heaven could be the most peaceful place to be if there is a place called heaven.14-15.5.2003 - 23.4.2003 - 19.8.2012
Give the world as much love as you can.
It takes all kinds of people to make a war but it take all kinds of people to give love.
We are all in the same boat in ways fearing for people's lives and our own.
We should all get through this war together by loving and supporting another.
Know one will know where it will be one day to the next; most countries may be safe not but in the future who knows!
We must as much peace and love as much as we can but no war.
Be brave enough to take it day by day. 12-13.5.2003
War and peace.
What a life.
Make sure you have good times.
Try to get through the bad times.
You start off young.
You end up old but then you learn a lot more than you know now.
Everyone wonders about what life all is all about whether it's a waste or not.
Life is what you make it, if you make it good, it's no waste at all. There are too many people risking their lives for others.
They are risking their lives for you and me.
We are risking our lives in our country in order to live our lives.
There are too many dangerous people about on this earth sadly.
Heaven could be the most peaceful place to be if there is a place called heaven.14-15.5.2003 - 23.4.2003 - 19.8.2012
My memory of George
Harrison.
Like a lot of us I never knew George as a person.
I know as ex Beatle he plays the guitar.
What was so sad was that he was not here to be sixty - four.
The happiest thing is that he did not lose his hair.
He would have got his valentine card and bottle of wine.
The sad thing was that I was not here to enjoy the sixty.
I was born at the wrong time.
By the time I understood about Beatles they slit up.
The news was that they were all singing alone in my life time.
Sadly John Lennon died December 8th; I was only eleven years old.
Twenty - one years later, he has still left great music for us.
We all miss him, we all kiss him.
Have nice rest George. 3.12.2001 - 4.12.2001
Like a lot of us I never knew George as a person.
I know as ex Beatle he plays the guitar.
What was so sad was that he was not here to be sixty - four.
The happiest thing is that he did not lose his hair.
He would have got his valentine card and bottle of wine.
The sad thing was that I was not here to enjoy the sixty.
I was born at the wrong time.
By the time I understood about Beatles they slit up.
The news was that they were all singing alone in my life time.
Sadly John Lennon died December 8th; I was only eleven years old.
Twenty - one years later, he has still left great music for us.
We all miss him, we all kiss him.
Have nice rest George. 3.12.2001 - 4.12.2001
27 1997.
At the age of 27 1997, it was a bad year.
You broke my heart, you torn me apart.
At the age of 27 in 1997 I just wanted to go to heaven.
Life did not seem worth living, it all seemed like a dark tunnel.
The winter was dull and cold without you.
I discovered Shelly and Keats in the summer.
Without planning to I wrote poetry but when I did I knew life was worth living after all.
Once I started writing poetry it helped me clear my mixed up mind which helped me to get stronger in my mind.
That's when I learned to understand that life goes on, without writing poetry I would have broke down or and even ended my own life.
Jim Hendricks, Kurt Cobain and Jim Morrison all suffered depression one way or the other over difference very bad times in life; they were all 27 when they died.
They were very creative people in their music but I pulled through my breakdown when I was nearly twenty - eight by discovering poetry. 13.2.2009
At the age of 27 1997, it was a bad year.
You broke my heart, you torn me apart.
At the age of 27 in 1997 I just wanted to go to heaven.
Life did not seem worth living, it all seemed like a dark tunnel.
The winter was dull and cold without you.
I discovered Shelly and Keats in the summer.
Without planning to I wrote poetry but when I did I knew life was worth living after all.
Once I started writing poetry it helped me clear my mixed up mind which helped me to get stronger in my mind.
That's when I learned to understand that life goes on, without writing poetry I would have broke down or and even ended my own life.
Jim Hendricks, Kurt Cobain and Jim Morrison all suffered depression one way or the other over difference very bad times in life; they were all 27 when they died.
They were very creative people in their music but I pulled through my breakdown when I was nearly twenty - eight by discovering poetry. 13.2.2009
How did he write?
How did he read what he wrote?
He must have been a remarkable guy.
How did he write if he was blind?
See people with disabilities are creative, they can get jobs.
We all work in difference ways sense, feel, sight, smell, taste and touch or even all.
How did he know that he was writing what he wanted to write?
How did he get down on paper what was going on through his mind?
I guess he could not see pictures and he may not have got the support.
I guess there was not Braille or any other support in the 1600s.
The 1600s was John Milton’s time; life must have been dark for him been blind.
It's hard for someone to understand who is blind.
Blind is not just blind in sight, dyslexia is a word blindness.
How did he read what he wrote?
He must have been a remarkable guy.
How did he write if he was blind?
See people with disabilities are creative, they can get jobs.
We all work in difference ways sense, feel, sight, smell, taste and touch or even all.
How did he know that he was writing what he wanted to write?
How did he get down on paper what was going on through his mind?
I guess he could not see pictures and he may not have got the support.
I guess there was not Braille or any other support in the 1600s.
The 1600s was John Milton’s time; life must have been dark for him been blind.
It's hard for someone to understand who is blind.
Blind is not just blind in sight, dyslexia is a word blindness.
Autism is a
mind blindness.
People with all kinds of disabilities manage more than what people think, even though we are slower because of our disabilities that makes us a better than people who have not got anything to slow them down.
With not seeing you must worry that you are feeling and touching the wrong things.
How do you know if you are touching right people?
The answer only by voice.
It must be hurtful not to see what you have achieved.
I think a lot of people who are clever have disabilities.
The blind may have a lot of support now but not in John Milton’s time. 19.21.8.2002
People with all kinds of disabilities manage more than what people think, even though we are slower because of our disabilities that makes us a better than people who have not got anything to slow them down.
With not seeing you must worry that you are feeling and touching the wrong things.
How do you know if you are touching right people?
The answer only by voice.
It must be hurtful not to see what you have achieved.
I think a lot of people who are clever have disabilities.
The blind may have a lot of support now but not in John Milton’s time. 19.21.8.2002
Jonathan Swift 1667-1745.
He wrote about the ships sailing on the rough sea.
He must have been bought up into the world of sea.
The sails blowing in the wind.
He had epilepsy just like me.
I am so lucky to have tablets to cure my epilepsy.
There always a way of achieving things in life whether you have a disability, health problem or not.
You just need to get the help and support in what you want to do and show willing.
Years ago there were not any chances or support but a lot of frame people with disabilities achieved things at home because they knew society would not accept them but sadly their work was only seen after their death, society knew it was wrong then.
People knew they had things wrong with them back then but did not know what like we do today. 22, 23.8.2002
He wrote about the ships sailing on the rough sea.
He must have been bought up into the world of sea.
The sails blowing in the wind.
He had epilepsy just like me.
I am so lucky to have tablets to cure my epilepsy.
There always a way of achieving things in life whether you have a disability, health problem or not.
You just need to get the help and support in what you want to do and show willing.
Years ago there were not any chances or support but a lot of frame people with disabilities achieved things at home because they knew society would not accept them but sadly their work was only seen after their death, society knew it was wrong then.
People knew they had things wrong with them back then but did not know what like we do today. 22, 23.8.2002
Hiding pain with a
smile.
Sometimes the world can know too much about you.
Sometimes we should be free to have our thoughts going through our mind and only tell our thoughts if we want.
Sometimes the world can know too much about you.
Sometimes we should be free to have our thoughts going through our mind and only tell our thoughts if we want.
Coping alone is a person's choice
whether it's right or wrong.
Some of us deal with things better
when we are older than we did when we were younger.
Drinking may not be the answer, it blocks your mind at the time but your problems are there the next day.
Keeping ones' self busy is keeping ones' self going.
Now it's too easy to fear the future.
Not wanting to be alone but not having to deal with disappointed ended love.
It's hard to know what you do and don't want let alone what's going to happen.
Try not to think about it, just get on with it with a smile.
May be it's easy to smile but hard to stop thinking about you.
No matter how I try I find my feelings for you are hard to go. 9.12.2012
Drinking may not be the answer, it blocks your mind at the time but your problems are there the next day.
Keeping ones' self busy is keeping ones' self going.
Now it's too easy to fear the future.
Not wanting to be alone but not having to deal with disappointed ended love.
It's hard to know what you do and don't want let alone what's going to happen.
Try not to think about it, just get on with it with a smile.
May be it's easy to smile but hard to stop thinking about you.
No matter how I try I find my feelings for you are hard to go. 9.12.2012
A brave face.
Step into the world to show them you are there.
Step into the world to show them you are there.
With your head up high.
Show them no fear even though you may have fear.
You are more than a stranger so they shouldn't judge you how they see you.
You may worry more than you should.
The world may seem even worse than what it is.
Once you have taken one step you can take another one.
Nothing is lost: nothing is gained.
Many things happen for the right reasons even if they seem wrong and ufair.
Show them no fear even though you may have fear.
You are more than a stranger so they shouldn't judge you how they see you.
You may worry more than you should.
The world may seem even worse than what it is.
Once you have taken one step you can take another one.
Nothing is lost: nothing is gained.
Many things happen for the right reasons even if they seem wrong and ufair.
Try not to think about what happened infront of
them
Try not to think about it, just get on with it with a smile to show to them so they don't think they are bothering you.
May be it's easy to smile but hard to stop thinking about you.
May it's hard to smile and to stop thinking about it but try cause they will play on your mind if you let them.
9.12.2012
Try not to think about it, just get on with it with a smile to show to them so they don't think they are bothering you.
May be it's easy to smile but hard to stop thinking about you.
May it's hard to smile and to stop thinking about it but try cause they will play on your mind if you let them.
9.12.2012
I can fight this bad feeling whatever it is.
A bad feeling can happen whether there's a reason or not.
You can feel bad even when you know there's nothing to feel about bad about.You can feel as the world is looking at you and judging even if they are not.
You can feel alone even when your not.
You can feel worried even if you have nothing to worry about.
Stay strong which i know is easy to say, show the world despite of how you feel that you are alive.
You don't feel special but you are.
You feel like a bad person but you are a good person.
Of course things will get better even though it doesn't seem that way.
The good is out there somewhere it's just finding it.
It may not come for a long time to come but then quicker than you think
It will be better if your patient enough to wait.
I know the bad is too easy to fear but the good is hard to think.
I guess I just accept too much without meaning to.
I know it's not easy to believe in ourselves even though we should.
Yet if we believe in ourselves we can believe in others.
If we learn to love ourselves we can love others.
The world is a rockly road but we can move forward if work hard enough.
We must not try to feel sorry for ourselves so often.
We can all fear loneliness even more when we get old.
Then old age isn't a problem I hope I get wiser.
We shouldn't rush ourselves. 9.12.2012
A bad feeling can happen whether there's a reason or not.
You can feel bad even when you know there's nothing to feel about bad about.You can feel as the world is looking at you and judging even if they are not.
You can feel alone even when your not.
You can feel worried even if you have nothing to worry about.
Stay strong which i know is easy to say, show the world despite of how you feel that you are alive.
You don't feel special but you are.
You feel like a bad person but you are a good person.
Of course things will get better even though it doesn't seem that way.
The good is out there somewhere it's just finding it.
It may not come for a long time to come but then quicker than you think
It will be better if your patient enough to wait.
I know the bad is too easy to fear but the good is hard to think.
I guess I just accept too much without meaning to.
I know it's not easy to believe in ourselves even though we should.
Yet if we believe in ourselves we can believe in others.
If we learn to love ourselves we can love others.
The world is a rockly road but we can move forward if work hard enough.
We must not try to feel sorry for ourselves so often.
We can all fear loneliness even more when we get old.
Then old age isn't a problem I hope I get wiser.
We shouldn't rush ourselves. 9.12.2012
Too scared to talk.
Finding it say it hard to say what one thinks in case others judge.
It may not be nice but it may be the truth.
One can be scared of the truth in a good way as well as a bad but then the truth isn't always what we want heard then we do, it's no good living in a lie.
Not wanting to hurt the feelings of others.
Finding it say it hard to say what one thinks in case others judge.
It may not be nice but it may be the truth.
One can be scared of the truth in a good way as well as a bad but then the truth isn't always what we want heard then we do, it's no good living in a lie.
Not wanting to hurt the feelings of others.
Not wanting to full
out with others because they can’t agree with you and you can’t agree with
them.
Everyone has the
rights of their own views.
Not everyone gets
along: not everyone doesn’t get along.
Right or wrong you can't make feelings go away until feelings want to.
We all make mistakes but not all are mistakes.
It's what we say and do what matters: thinking is thoughts not words. 9. 12. 2012
Right or wrong you can't make feelings go away until feelings want to.
We all make mistakes but not all are mistakes.
It's what we say and do what matters: thinking is thoughts not words. 9. 12. 2012
Understanding
people.
The only people who understand we is we.
Freedom is important we without knowing it we control one another.
We are looked at as strange from strangers as if we have masks to cover as faces.
We are looked at as if we are wrong all the while.
We are looked as if we are not human.
We looked at if we are nuts and out of our minds all the time.
There's a fear if we are watched all the time.
What we do and say isn’t wrong all the time.
People may fear in case they are misunderstood. 9.12.2012
The only people who understand we is we.
Freedom is important we without knowing it we control one another.
We are looked at as strange from strangers as if we have masks to cover as faces.
We are looked at as if we are wrong all the while.
We are looked as if we are not human.
We looked at if we are nuts and out of our minds all the time.
There's a fear if we are watched all the time.
What we do and say isn’t wrong all the time.
People may fear in case they are misunderstood. 9.12.2012
Hard to trust.
To be able to trust is to know that there's faith that no one will judge you for what you do and say.
To be able to not worry about what people think.
It should be easy to believe on ones' self and others. 9.12.2012
To be able to trust is to know that there's faith that no one will judge you for what you do and say.
To be able to not worry about what people think.
It should be easy to believe on ones' self and others. 9.12.2012
When I was awake I
was asleep.
The voices I heard were shouting at me to wake me up as I was in my own world.
I think I was been asked questions that I didn't know the answers to.
The teachers wrote so much jargon on the board in school.
It seemed as if I never paid a great attention with the world around me.
This is why I didn’t learn anything in school.
The voices I heard were shouting at me to wake me up as I was in my own world.
I think I was been asked questions that I didn't know the answers to.
The teachers wrote so much jargon on the board in school.
It seemed as if I never paid a great attention with the world around me.
This is why I didn’t learn anything in school.
They moved my table
and chair to the end of the class.
Let kids laugh at me and bullying was hell outside on the playground.
They made me feel so thick and small that they all called me thicko.
For all the tablets I took, if I were still taking them my adulthood would have been destroyed as well as my childhood.
Now kids and teachers I'm not the person I was, I've learned more since I left school.
In school I learned nothing at all. 9.12.12
Let kids laugh at me and bullying was hell outside on the playground.
They made me feel so thick and small that they all called me thicko.
For all the tablets I took, if I were still taking them my adulthood would have been destroyed as well as my childhood.
Now kids and teachers I'm not the person I was, I've learned more since I left school.
In school I learned nothing at all. 9.12.12
It may not been as bad as what I
think.
It's not easy to feel good.
Why do we feel so bad.
We may be very silly our minds
may be playing tricks.
No matter how hard we try to control
it, we can't help it whether are worrying over something or nothing.
When it's something some things can
be hard to talk abut others can be easy to talk about.
May be I am worrying about nothing.
There can be so so much fear of
losing the good we have got.
I've tried so hard to block you out
my mind but it's no good. 12.12.12
I'm finding it hard to trust you again.
I shouldn't have trusted you from the start.
I'm so glad I didn't marry you.
Even now I'm not sure whether or not you were cheating on me.
Even now it's hard to say whether or not you were unfaithful.
What makes me think this is that you were texting a lot in front of me and getting texts back.
You made me feel very stressed and very uncomfortable that's why I won't have you back.
I kept on thinking this was a bad dream.
I may be wrong in what I did thought but the texts you sent and the texts you had back went on far too long because I loved you so much. 13.12.12
Happy New year 2013.
Happy New year to you all for 2013 and many more happy new years to come.
The sun is shining on the New year's day 2013 but it's very cold.
The sunshine should bring hope to us all.
I hope things turn out better for you this year than last with many years to come. 1.1.13
New Start.
A new start that could be unknown to most of us.
Whatever you didn't achieve last year I hope you achieve this.
This could be a new year and new beginning for you.
Number 13 is lucky for some but unlucky for others.
Let's hope 2013 is the year for you with many of your dreams to come true. 1.1.2013
Bring in 2013.
Here I am finding it hard to know what to write.
Recovering from a hang over on New year's day from New year's eve.
The hang over is slowing me down to think and write.
With what's gone last year new will be to come this year.
The future is unknown to us all.
We've laughted, worried and cried.
We've just got on with life.
Life is full of good and bad, it would be boring if it was all the same. 1.1.2013
Happy New year to you all for 2013 and many more happy new years to come.
The sun is shining on the New year's day 2013 but it's very cold.
The sunshine should bring hope to us all.
I hope things turn out better for you this year than last with many years to come. 1.1.13
New Start.
A new start that could be unknown to most of us.
Whatever you didn't achieve last year I hope you achieve this.
This could be a new year and new beginning for you.
Number 13 is lucky for some but unlucky for others.
Let's hope 2013 is the year for you with many of your dreams to come true. 1.1.2013
Bring in 2013.
Here I am finding it hard to know what to write.
Recovering from a hang over on New year's day from New year's eve.
The hang over is slowing me down to think and write.
With what's gone last year new will be to come this year.
The future is unknown to us all.
We've laughted, worried and cried.
We've just got on with life.
Life is full of good and bad, it would be boring if it was all the same. 1.1.2013
oo easy to hurt the one you love.
It's too easy to hurt the one you love.
At same time you hurt yourself knowing it's wrong thing for you do for them and you.
It's so hard to understand why when it hurts so deep inside.
Why did I send you that text knowing full well how strong my feelings are for you?
Why did I get myself so misunderstood.
Yet I know what you'd say it's my own silly fault.
You are so right and I'm so wrong.
Oh what a silly mistake to make knowing it's too late.
Why didn't I leave things alone, I would did I let you go?
Loneliness is going to be there for me a long time to come or it's loneliness for good.
It will take a long time for me to feel the same for someone else as I do for you.
To me it will take someone more than special to fill your space after my silly mistake.
Even though loneliness is hard to take.
Why did I let you slip through my fingers like a foal?
Now I have nothing to look forward to, my own fault I shouldn't have let you go. 2.1.2013
If only you knew.
If you knew how different I am to what you think I am.
With very little time we had together when we were together, it gave us very little time to get to know one another.
Little do you know that I enjoyed our time apart as well as our time together.
It didn't matter to me as long as you were mine and I was yours at the end of the day.
That's what I miss most of all knowing that in time we had time along.
Now our time a lone is gone I feel emptry and lost without you.
If only you knew how much I loved you, which has now given me an even harder time getting over you now it's over.
It breaks my heart to know that your not mine anymore. 3.1.2013
Coping without you.
It's too easy to hurt the one you love.
At same time you hurt yourself knowing it's wrong thing for you do for them and you.
It's so hard to understand why when it hurts so deep inside.
Why did I send you that text knowing full well how strong my feelings are for you?
Why did I get myself so misunderstood.
Yet I know what you'd say it's my own silly fault.
You are so right and I'm so wrong.
Oh what a silly mistake to make knowing it's too late.
Why didn't I leave things alone, I would did I let you go?
Loneliness is going to be there for me a long time to come or it's loneliness for good.
It will take a long time for me to feel the same for someone else as I do for you.
To me it will take someone more than special to fill your space after my silly mistake.
Even though loneliness is hard to take.
Why did I let you slip through my fingers like a foal?
Now I have nothing to look forward to, my own fault I shouldn't have let you go. 2.1.2013
If only you knew.
If you knew how different I am to what you think I am.
With very little time we had together when we were together, it gave us very little time to get to know one another.
Little do you know that I enjoyed our time apart as well as our time together.
It didn't matter to me as long as you were mine and I was yours at the end of the day.
That's what I miss most of all knowing that in time we had time along.
Now our time a lone is gone I feel emptry and lost without you.
If only you knew how much I loved you, which has now given me an even harder time getting over you now it's over.
It breaks my heart to know that your not mine anymore. 3.1.2013
Coping without you.
No bed is empty without you.
Why did you come back that Saturday night, you knew I didn't feel the same way as I do.
You must have known I wouldn't let you sleep with me.
You thought you had the chance with me because you came back that Saturday night.
You think I still feel hurt by you but that's where your wrong.
You think one night I am going to come knocking you door again so you can shut the door in my face.
Why would I waste my time on someone I don't even love.
I spent a lot years wasting a lot of time, tears and sleep over you.
Now I'm not the person you knew, you only thought I'd stay weak forever, that's where your wrong.
I was sick and tired of you dumping me every time you got bored with me.
I was stick and tired of hoping you would change when there was no chance of that.
I was stick and tired of coming back in your life when you got bored with and without me.
You were never happy whether I was in or out of your life so now I am gone for good.
In the end the only time you wanted me was when you were very drunk. 3.1.2013
One day I know it will happen.
I know the next person you will meet will be better than me.
Strangely enough a while before I started seeing you I thought you were married with kids.
I thought that there's something very nice about you.
I felt the same as you but I tried to stopped myself in case you all ready had someone in your life at the time.
I hope one day I will meet someone as nice as you again.
It hurt me so much to have lost you.
The time we had together felt so good.
I know it could be a long time until I get love like yours again if ever.
You were the best thing to happen to me ever yet.
I am gald to say there was no lieing, cheating and or beating but having lost someone so special has hurt me more than ever. 3.1.2013
Why did you come back that Saturday night, you knew I didn't feel the same way as I do.
You must have known I wouldn't let you sleep with me.
You thought you had the chance with me because you came back that Saturday night.
You think I still feel hurt by you but that's where your wrong.
You think one night I am going to come knocking you door again so you can shut the door in my face.
Why would I waste my time on someone I don't even love.
I spent a lot years wasting a lot of time, tears and sleep over you.
Now I'm not the person you knew, you only thought I'd stay weak forever, that's where your wrong.
I was sick and tired of you dumping me every time you got bored with me.
I was stick and tired of hoping you would change when there was no chance of that.
I was stick and tired of coming back in your life when you got bored with and without me.
You were never happy whether I was in or out of your life so now I am gone for good.
In the end the only time you wanted me was when you were very drunk. 3.1.2013
One day I know it will happen.
I know the next person you will meet will be better than me.
Strangely enough a while before I started seeing you I thought you were married with kids.
I thought that there's something very nice about you.
I felt the same as you but I tried to stopped myself in case you all ready had someone in your life at the time.
I hope one day I will meet someone as nice as you again.
It hurt me so much to have lost you.
The time we had together felt so good.
I know it could be a long time until I get love like yours again if ever.
You were the best thing to happen to me ever yet.
I am gald to say there was no lieing, cheating and or beating but having lost someone so special has hurt me more than ever. 3.1.2013
How much can I take?
I feel tears in my eyes that I can't cry because you didn't hurt me.
The only thing that hurt me was that I lost you.
What on my mind is too private to say as I still respect you all the same as before even thought we're not together anymore.
I always knew that one day the change will come to me if it's not to be.
I tried not to build my hopes but I never said never, it wasn't easy to say despite of my feelings towards you.
You still touch my heart, it's so hard to see you as just a friend even though I saw very little of you when I was seeing you.
It will be hard to know to cope if I ever will love anyone else.
Since I have hit my 40s I have loved spending a lot of time on my own but having something special to look forward to.
Now I feel empty now that it's gone, knowing that love will be a very time to come again, which breaks my heart.
How many men will trust me to be faithful to them if I don't see them very often?
How many men will be faithful to me if I don't see them very often?
How many men will cope without a woman like I can without a man as long as possible? 3.1.2013
How do we manage?
How do we manage with all these cutbacks?
How we manage with all these debts?
Even the banks are debts?
How can the banks give out loans when they are in debt knowing a lot of people can't manage to pay them back?
How are we all still alive with so little money?
How have we become so greedy in a small country like Britain spending money we haven't got?
Kids having kids so they can leave home and don't have to go to work, this is taking a lot money.
Many people who sign on still manage to drink all day and night in the pubs, this is encourged by pubs been open 24 hours a day.
Too many people in this country who wasn't born in this country.
We are spending money we haven't got so the list goes on. 4.1.2013
I feel tears in my eyes that I can't cry because you didn't hurt me.
The only thing that hurt me was that I lost you.
What on my mind is too private to say as I still respect you all the same as before even thought we're not together anymore.
I always knew that one day the change will come to me if it's not to be.
I tried not to build my hopes but I never said never, it wasn't easy to say despite of my feelings towards you.
You still touch my heart, it's so hard to see you as just a friend even though I saw very little of you when I was seeing you.
It will be hard to know to cope if I ever will love anyone else.
Since I have hit my 40s I have loved spending a lot of time on my own but having something special to look forward to.
Now I feel empty now that it's gone, knowing that love will be a very time to come again, which breaks my heart.
How many men will trust me to be faithful to them if I don't see them very often?
How many men will be faithful to me if I don't see them very often?
How many men will cope without a woman like I can without a man as long as possible? 3.1.2013
How do we manage?
How do we manage with all these cutbacks?
How we manage with all these debts?
Even the banks are debts?
How can the banks give out loans when they are in debt knowing a lot of people can't manage to pay them back?
How are we all still alive with so little money?
How have we become so greedy in a small country like Britain spending money we haven't got?
Kids having kids so they can leave home and don't have to go to work, this is taking a lot money.
Many people who sign on still manage to drink all day and night in the pubs, this is encourged by pubs been open 24 hours a day.
Too many people in this country who wasn't born in this country.
We are spending money we haven't got so the list goes on. 4.1.2013
he wind is blowing so lond.
The wind is blowing so loud I can't hear a thing.
I know there's a lot of sounds are going on around me.
Now the wind is so strong it's making me fly up into the air.
Now the wind is strong it's bringing me down to the ground.
Now I'm blowing in the air as my hair is sticking up on end.
I have no control with the wind as I'm blowing up and down like a Jack in the box. 4.1.2013
Next one to be.
Next one to be is to be as special as you.
I know I won't get you back again, even though I didn't want to lose your love.
I know it will take a long time for me to date or never at all. 4.1.2013
I know your mind.
What is there to talk about?
I know if I go along with what you want, I will get hurt again.
I'm not going along with your mind games again.
I'm not going to be there for you to dump me when you get bored.
I'm not going to be there for you to love when you feel alone.
I feel alone but I don't need you at all.
I have a feeling now I'm single you won't want me no more until I meet someone else.
Why should I travel all the way down to yours to have the door shut in my face knowing that I haven't been down to yours for so long.
I have coped without you long enough why should I need you now?
What's the point when you aren't going to achieve hurting my feelings anymore?
I would be lieing to go down and see you when I know there's no need when I don't love you anymore.
You can't hurt me anymore.
Why should I have the door shut in my face by a man I don't love anymore?
I don't cry over you anymore, I cried enough when I did love you and you hurt me a lot more. 5.1.2013
The wind is blowing so loud I can't hear a thing.
I know there's a lot of sounds are going on around me.
Now the wind is so strong it's making me fly up into the air.
Now the wind is strong it's bringing me down to the ground.
Now I'm blowing in the air as my hair is sticking up on end.
I have no control with the wind as I'm blowing up and down like a Jack in the box. 4.1.2013
Next one to be.
Next one to be is to be as special as you.
I know I won't get you back again, even though I didn't want to lose your love.
I know it will take a long time for me to date or never at all. 4.1.2013
I know your mind.
What is there to talk about?
I know if I go along with what you want, I will get hurt again.
I'm not going along with your mind games again.
I'm not going to be there for you to dump me when you get bored.
I'm not going to be there for you to love when you feel alone.
I feel alone but I don't need you at all.
I have a feeling now I'm single you won't want me no more until I meet someone else.
Why should I travel all the way down to yours to have the door shut in my face knowing that I haven't been down to yours for so long.
I have coped without you long enough why should I need you now?
What's the point when you aren't going to achieve hurting my feelings anymore?
I would be lieing to go down and see you when I know there's no need when I don't love you anymore.
You can't hurt me anymore.
Why should I have the door shut in my face by a man I don't love anymore?
I don't cry over you anymore, I cried enough when I did love you and you hurt me a lot more. 5.1.2013
I don't need your help.
I don't need your help.
Why should I cry to you over another man?
I can cope alone.
I don't need you to make things any worse for me than you have done.
No pain is as bad as what you put me through.
It was all a long time ago I don't need you at all.
Don't think because I am alone that I am yours!
That's where you think wrong. 5.1.2013
I still love you.
I still love you but it hurts so bad I only wish my feelings weren't as strong as what they are.
If only I could make things easy for you because I know friendship is all you want.
If only I could let go but to me your so special.
Every time I look my phone I keep excepting you to phone or text, I have to tell myself not to expect it anymore.
I walk round with a smile on my face in front of others for them not to know how I'm feeling inside and reasons why.
As our relationship was so private so is our break up.
Not having anyone to talk to with about the way my emotions are is hard.
I bet you feel hurt the same too.
It's like no day goes by. 5.1.2013
Feelings are strong.
I keep hoping I will feel alright tomorrow then when tomorrow comes I feel worse.
I feel empty, lost and alone than ever, even though I didn't see a lot of you when I was seeing you.
When we were seeing one another I wondered how you were feeling about me because I was missing you so much, this was what I was trying to ask you in the text the night our love ended.It wasn't pointless for me because I knew I had your love to look forward to but how was it for you?
I keep hoping you'd love me again I know it's not possible.
I thought it wouldn't make difference as I didn't see a lot of you but it makes a lot of difference to me what about you?
The strong feelings are still there hard to control.
I keep thinking it will get' easier but no it gets harder.
I know I need to give it it's own time to heel and carry living without your love.
I understand reasons why you ended it, even so it really hurts more that there was no pain between us to end it even though I can gladly say we didn't hurt one another during the time we were seeing one another.
I just keep thinking about you all the time. 5.1.2013
I don't need your help.
Why should I cry to you over another man?
I can cope alone.
I don't need you to make things any worse for me than you have done.
No pain is as bad as what you put me through.
It was all a long time ago I don't need you at all.
Don't think because I am alone that I am yours!
That's where you think wrong. 5.1.2013
I still love you.
I still love you but it hurts so bad I only wish my feelings weren't as strong as what they are.
If only I could make things easy for you because I know friendship is all you want.
If only I could let go but to me your so special.
Every time I look my phone I keep excepting you to phone or text, I have to tell myself not to expect it anymore.
I walk round with a smile on my face in front of others for them not to know how I'm feeling inside and reasons why.
As our relationship was so private so is our break up.
Not having anyone to talk to with about the way my emotions are is hard.
I bet you feel hurt the same too.
It's like no day goes by. 5.1.2013
Feelings are strong.
I keep hoping I will feel alright tomorrow then when tomorrow comes I feel worse.
I feel empty, lost and alone than ever, even though I didn't see a lot of you when I was seeing you.
When we were seeing one another I wondered how you were feeling about me because I was missing you so much, this was what I was trying to ask you in the text the night our love ended.It wasn't pointless for me because I knew I had your love to look forward to but how was it for you?
I keep hoping you'd love me again I know it's not possible.
I thought it wouldn't make difference as I didn't see a lot of you but it makes a lot of difference to me what about you?
The strong feelings are still there hard to control.
I keep thinking it will get' easier but no it gets harder.
I know I need to give it it's own time to heel and carry living without your love.
I understand reasons why you ended it, even so it really hurts more that there was no pain between us to end it even though I can gladly say we didn't hurt one another during the time we were seeing one another.
I just keep thinking about you all the time. 5.1.2013
Parted in silence.
Loved in silence.
Parted in silence.
The pain of losing you is hard to accept.
secert break up is not talked about.
A secert is why nothing is said.
There were no falling outs.
Very little we saw one another when we did see one another.
Reasons for breaking weren't no fault of ours or anyones.
It didn't turn out to be.
Reasons why known to ourselves really.
Who knows what's to be.
Wait and see! 6.1.2013
January blues.
January skies are dull not blue but all feel a bit sad and blue in January.
Loved in silence.
Parted in silence.
The pain of losing you is hard to accept.
secert break up is not talked about.
A secert is why nothing is said.
There were no falling outs.
Very little we saw one another when we did see one another.
Reasons for breaking weren't no fault of ours or anyones.
It didn't turn out to be.
Reasons why known to ourselves really.
Who knows what's to be.
Wait and see! 6.1.2013
January blues.
January skies are dull not blue but all feel a bit sad and blue in January.
I felt low
before, during and after Christmas.
Everyone feels low this time of year.
Winter time is a time of break ups, which makes you feel the January blues more.
I've cried so many times over the years over break ups, I have no tears to cry anymore.
Everyone feels low this time of year.
Winter time is a time of break ups, which makes you feel the January blues more.
I've cried so many times over the years over break ups, I have no tears to cry anymore.
I have eaten
too much over Christmas and stuffed in January.
Now I show my emotions by eating less and less instead.
People are slowly going back to work.
In time I know I need to get myself together to face the busy world yet again. 6.1.2013
Slow down Tiger Tim.
Thank you for my card dear heart.
Thank you for my card dear heart.
Slow it's far too soon to get randy,
have you been drinking too many brandys? ha ha
Slow down we haven't even met yet.
It's far too soon to hit the bed yet.
Slow down Tiger Tim if you wait as
long as it takes you will win me in.
A romantic meal between me and you is
the way i think about you.
When the time comes to cuddle up to a
romantic dvd, then you will be able to see what you think about me.
I love you King Tiger Tim babe between us we can make love, poetry and new wave.
I am here when you are stress to keep you tame my King Tim Tiger Babe.
I know through these times of trouble and stress that you are very brave babe.
I love you my King Tiger Tim babe without any shame my loving brave babe.
With you will be sane and safe as I come you getting off the streaming train babe.
14.2.2013 - 3.12.2013
I love you King Tiger Tim babe between us we can make love, poetry and new wave.
I am here when you are stress to keep you tame my King Tim Tiger Babe.
I know through these times of trouble and stress that you are very brave babe.
I love you my King Tiger Tim babe without any shame my loving brave babe.
With you will be sane and safe as I come you getting off the streaming train babe.
14.2.2013 - 3.12.2013
They don't know about ( about being disabled)
They shouldn't look at us as if we are mad.
They shouldn't look at us as if we are sad.
They seem to think more of the bad in us than good.
They should think good in us than bad.
They look at us to say we are useless to think we are useless and helpless.
They shouldn't judge us for what they see and hear of us.
It doesn't mean there are no disabilities just because they don't see them but it doesn't mean we don't have good in us either.
Whichever way they shouldn't judge to get us misunderstood.
They don't know about ( being disabled) that's why they misunderstand us. 3rd - 4th March 2013
Poetry i wrote so long ago.
When i think what i wrote was a load of rubbish because i felt rubbish.
Somehow my rubbish words linked into poetry.
My poetry because with rubbish because i was so down from a man who broke my heart so badly.
I loved him so much but he didn't thinks as much of me as I did of him now i can't stand him.
Now what he had put me through had all come back on him and he feels for me how i used to feel for him.
How unhappy was I to write such rubbish.
How could I have loved a man who only pretended to love me yet i though so different at the time.
The way he hurt me it took me a long time to click he didn't think as much of me as what i thought.
How painful it was to face the world, i just didn't want to be here anymore but somehow i was too strong for that but at the time I never thought I was.
I drank heavy and those rubbish words came out on paper.
What rubbish words I wrote because I was so drunk.
Yet more and more words came out that turned into poetry.
The words were just unhappy thoughts that were going through my mind at the time.
I couldn't find any other way of controlling my mind and getting on with my life.
The only thing i could do was write.
When he saw what I wrote, his face just froze, then said good poetry.
My poetry meant nothing to him but the truth did and the truth what i wrote was in my poetry.
I didn't write a load of rubbish after all, what i was trying to say was the man who I was in love with he was rubbish.
Many years later i thought about the very few words he said.
He wasn't awarding me for my poetry, he froze because he knew what i said was the truth of what i felt about him at the time.
He couldn't see that at that time it's as if he was so blind.
The time came when his feelings had changed so had mine, he felt how I used to feel, I felt how he used to feel.
When that day came it hit him harder than it hit me, it's now all too late for him.
He may have changed his mind but I never will, i will never make the same mistake twice even once was enough. 6.3.2013
When i think what i wrote was a load of rubbish because i felt rubbish.
Somehow my rubbish words linked into poetry.
My poetry because with rubbish because i was so down from a man who broke my heart so badly.
I loved him so much but he didn't thinks as much of me as I did of him now i can't stand him.
Now what he had put me through had all come back on him and he feels for me how i used to feel for him.
How unhappy was I to write such rubbish.
How could I have loved a man who only pretended to love me yet i though so different at the time.
The way he hurt me it took me a long time to click he didn't think as much of me as what i thought.
How painful it was to face the world, i just didn't want to be here anymore but somehow i was too strong for that but at the time I never thought I was.
I drank heavy and those rubbish words came out on paper.
What rubbish words I wrote because I was so drunk.
Yet more and more words came out that turned into poetry.
The words were just unhappy thoughts that were going through my mind at the time.
I couldn't find any other way of controlling my mind and getting on with my life.
The only thing i could do was write.
When he saw what I wrote, his face just froze, then said good poetry.
My poetry meant nothing to him but the truth did and the truth what i wrote was in my poetry.
I didn't write a load of rubbish after all, what i was trying to say was the man who I was in love with he was rubbish.
Many years later i thought about the very few words he said.
He wasn't awarding me for my poetry, he froze because he knew what i said was the truth of what i felt about him at the time.
He couldn't see that at that time it's as if he was so blind.
The time came when his feelings had changed so had mine, he felt how I used to feel, I felt how he used to feel.
When that day came it hit him harder than it hit me, it's now all too late for him.
He may have changed his mind but I never will, i will never make the same mistake twice even once was enough. 6.3.2013
When I first spoke 2 u on the dating site friendship was all I know after been on my own 4 5 and a half years.
Through chatting 2 u on Facebook my feelings are getting stronger towards u.
I hope it will be worth it in the end and that we will still feel the same way as we do now about one another.
Let's hope it will be worth the date.
We will get 2 know one another more however long it takes.
I never live my life in hopes someone will feel the same as i do because I have been hurt before, trust something i need 2 get over more.
The more and more I am getting 2 know u online my feelings are growing stronger and stronger. 16.3.2013
Unknown 2 both of us.
It all seems like a long wait until we met but every day is getting closer.
It's not as long as it seems for the final moment.
To see how we feel about one another after we have met is going to be an interesting one.
It's surprising how chatting to one another online can be part of our lives, which already make our feelings strong everyday but very unknown how we feel about one another when we meet. 16.3.2013
Too soon to know.
Too soon to know.
Feelings uncontrolled.
Just chatting online doesn't say a lot.
The more we chat though it's surprising what we learn off one another.
Computers, art and music we may love but unknown to whether they make us love one another. 16.3.2013
You can't touch me now.
You can't touch me now, your far too late.
You never loved me as much as I thought.
You only pretended to love and led me to think that you did.
You treated me like dirt.
First you wanted me then you got bored with me, then you excepted me to be there when you got bored with someone else.
At the time I was a foal to give into your silly mind games, then I realised you played games with my mind because you couldn't make up your mind.
Not anymore, never again am I knocking your door, you won't see me anymore.
I have someone now who knows who he wants, he doesn't play mind games like you did.
Now you only have yourself to blame.
When I was there you didn't want me, when you did it was only pretend.
You should have known who you wanted when I was there and stuck to what you said and stopped beating round the brush.
That's it I've gone I'm coming back no more. 2.4.2013
I need to forget about you and move on.
I need to forget about you and move on, you treated me bad and made me very sad.
You only pretended to love me, you didn't love me at all when I love you loser.
Sadly for you my love died for you and you want my love back when it was all gone, now it's far too late for you.
You are no more on my mind, you knew I used to love you so much so you played games with my mind.
You kept on changing your mind whether you loved me or not.
Now once it's gone with me it's gone for good.
You loved me, then didn't.
You lied to me, then you lied to yourself.
You hurt me, then you hurt yourself.
You didn't love me at all, you couldn't get the rest of them to love like i used to love you.
Now I am with someone who loves me a hell of a lot more than you ever did.
I am with someone who knows who he wants and doesn't play mind games like you did. 2.4.2013
You can't touch me now, your far too late.
You never loved me as much as I thought.
You only pretended to love and led me to think that you did.
You treated me like dirt.
First you wanted me then you got bored with me, then you excepted me to be there when you got bored with someone else.
At the time I was a foal to give into your silly mind games, then I realised you played games with my mind because you couldn't make up your mind.
Not anymore, never again am I knocking your door, you won't see me anymore.
I have someone now who knows who he wants, he doesn't play mind games like you did.
Now you only have yourself to blame.
When I was there you didn't want me, when you did it was only pretend.
You should have known who you wanted when I was there and stuck to what you said and stopped beating round the brush.
That's it I've gone I'm coming back no more. 2.4.2013
I need to forget about you and move on.
I need to forget about you and move on, you treated me bad and made me very sad.
You only pretended to love me, you didn't love me at all when I love you loser.
Sadly for you my love died for you and you want my love back when it was all gone, now it's far too late for you.
You are no more on my mind, you knew I used to love you so much so you played games with my mind.
You kept on changing your mind whether you loved me or not.
Now once it's gone with me it's gone for good.
You loved me, then didn't.
You lied to me, then you lied to yourself.
You hurt me, then you hurt yourself.
You didn't love me at all, you couldn't get the rest of them to love like i used to love you.
Now I am with someone who loves me a hell of a lot more than you ever did.
I am with someone who knows who he wants and doesn't play mind games like you did. 2.4.2013
Time to look forward.
Yesterday has gone there's no looking back on then.
Live for today and hope for tomorrow.
Be patience and be strong and your time will come along if you wait as long as it takes.
Taking far too much time is far too long to waste.
Make the most of the good you have got but then accept the bad.
Life would be boring if it all went all one way everyday.
Be brave and be strong.
Show your face and don't let them bother you.
Don't be afraid.
Show the world it hasn't won. 5.4.2013
Take your time don't rush!
Take your time don't rush!
You will get there in the end if you are patience enough.
Think before you speak.
Don't decide anything until or unless you know what your doing.
Don't turn left, right or straight on until you know where to turn.
Think about things very carefully and take your time.
Don't be too quick and don't be too slow because life is too short to waist.
Think about things very carefully so take your time.
Put faith into trust before hand don't rush.
Waiting can be hard but worth it in the end.
Things will only be done right if they are done slowly.
Be sure of yourself before you do anything.
What you want will come in time. 5.4.2013
Us.
However far apart we are we are just a computer away.
Email, phone, text, Facebook whether we are friends or lovers.
Whatever happens we will never hate one another.
Learn from your past to create a better future.
Live for today yesterday has gone.
Let's hope for tomorrow.
Be patience there are plenty more days of your life to come but they are too short to waist. 7.4.2013
Yesterday has gone there's no looking back on then.
Live for today and hope for tomorrow.
Be patience and be strong and your time will come along if you wait as long as it takes.
Taking far too much time is far too long to waste.
Make the most of the good you have got but then accept the bad.
Life would be boring if it all went all one way everyday.
Be brave and be strong.
Show your face and don't let them bother you.
Don't be afraid.
Show the world it hasn't won. 5.4.2013
Take your time don't rush!
Take your time don't rush!
You will get there in the end if you are patience enough.
Think before you speak.
Don't decide anything until or unless you know what your doing.
Don't turn left, right or straight on until you know where to turn.
Think about things very carefully and take your time.
Don't be too quick and don't be too slow because life is too short to waist.
Think about things very carefully so take your time.
Put faith into trust before hand don't rush.
Waiting can be hard but worth it in the end.
Things will only be done right if they are done slowly.
Be sure of yourself before you do anything.
What you want will come in time. 5.4.2013
Us.
However far apart we are we are just a computer away.
Email, phone, text, Facebook whether we are friends or lovers.
Whatever happens we will never hate one another.
Learn from your past to create a better future.
Live for today yesterday has gone.
Let's hope for tomorrow.
Be patience there are plenty more days of your life to come but they are too short to waist. 7.4.2013
Nothing seems to standing still.
Nothing seems to be standing still even though we think it is going to.
It's always at the back of ones' mind wondering whether whether or not they have done the right or wrong thing.
It's better right or wrong than not trying at all.
There comes a time you have tried so many times that you accept whatever happens. 7.4.2013
New chapter in the book.
Now it's just the begining.
The future is unknown.
Everything is far too soon to say.
I have spent days writing this poem in my mind but on paper the words don't seem to come out right.
I only hope we feel the same way now when we meet.
Butterflies are flying in my stomach and my nevus are on edge yet i am so looking forward to meeting you.
I'm amazed just by taking to you online how my feelings have grown for you.
Only time will tell us if it is meant to be or not.
Let our friendship grow but we should we shouldn't force anything that's not meant to be.7.4.2013
Nothing seems to be standing still even though we think it is going to.
It's always at the back of ones' mind wondering whether whether or not they have done the right or wrong thing.
It's better right or wrong than not trying at all.
There comes a time you have tried so many times that you accept whatever happens. 7.4.2013
New chapter in the book.
Now it's just the begining.
The future is unknown.
Everything is far too soon to say.
I have spent days writing this poem in my mind but on paper the words don't seem to come out right.
I only hope we feel the same way now when we meet.
Butterflies are flying in my stomach and my nevus are on edge yet i am so looking forward to meeting you.
I'm amazed just by taking to you online how my feelings have grown for you.
Only time will tell us if it is meant to be or not.
Let our friendship grow but we should we shouldn't force anything that's not meant to be.7.4.2013
Before the date.
Thoughts are running through my mind wondering what will happen next.
Thoughts that have woken me up this morning far too soon.
Unanswered questions running through my head.
My thoughts are still unknown yet I will write away until this pen runs out of ink, which may happen before I run out of thoughts.
This could happen to us either way but which ever way we will never hate one another.
No hate between us whatever this date bring. 9.4.2013
My friend.
My friend my male friend, friendship or relationship live in hope to be there for one another til the end.
It's very early days yet.
My nevus are kicking in more and more.
Butterflies are flying around my stomach again and again. 9.4.2013
How do you feel now?
The feelings are there still from before we met.
I am just talking my time to get to know you and to be honest with you.
I wouldn't string you along, if I say anything I will be honest what I say.
More time we take over it the more worth it if more than than friend ever happens.
It will only happen if and when it's right and mean't to be.
You have as much right as anyone to live the same life as everyone.
You need honestly in someone who is making sure of herself and how she feels, which is what she's going to do.
No saying hello one day then goodbye the next.
With me I am straight down the line it's either hello or goodbye all the way. 11.4.2013
Thoughts are running through my mind wondering what will happen next.
Thoughts that have woken me up this morning far too soon.
Unanswered questions running through my head.
My thoughts are still unknown yet I will write away until this pen runs out of ink, which may happen before I run out of thoughts.
This could happen to us either way but which ever way we will never hate one another.
No hate between us whatever this date bring. 9.4.2013
My friend.
My friend my male friend, friendship or relationship live in hope to be there for one another til the end.
It's very early days yet.
My nevus are kicking in more and more.
Butterflies are flying around my stomach again and again. 9.4.2013
How do you feel now?
The feelings are there still from before we met.
I am just talking my time to get to know you and to be honest with you.
I wouldn't string you along, if I say anything I will be honest what I say.
More time we take over it the more worth it if more than than friend ever happens.
It will only happen if and when it's right and mean't to be.
You have as much right as anyone to live the same life as everyone.
You need honestly in someone who is making sure of herself and how she feels, which is what she's going to do.
No saying hello one day then goodbye the next.
With me I am straight down the line it's either hello or goodbye all the way. 11.4.2013
es I do want to see you again.
Yes I do want to see you again whatever happens.
I like and care about you as a person.
Like you as person, it's the same with me many people look at my disabilities not the person I am.
It's like no one seems to see the good in us as if they only see only weaknesses.
Only time will tell how you and I will end up.
Whatever goes on between you and me there's no need for any hate to happen between us.
Just take our time whatever happens, when anything havens, if anything happens.
In the mean time enjoy chatting 2 one another online, text, phone and email.
This will give us more time to get to know one another.
Take everyday as it comes.
It's better to have someone in some way than no one at all. 11.4.2013
What was I thinking?
I drank myself away and eat far less.
For me to have been like that I was very depressed.
To me you were my world but as years went on I learned you weren't as special as I though.
Now I don't feel the same for you anyone you hurt me so bad.
I just carried for years thinking you'd change until my feelings weren't there for you anymore.
I thought of nothing and no one else but you now I dread seeing you anywhere.
I can only think how much you hurt me.
One day I won't think about you at all.
The drink numbed the pain hoping how I was feeling was all in my mind but it wasn't.
Hoping that I didn't know you or that you still loved but you know me and didn't love me liked I loved you.
Why did I let you upset my mind?
Now it all seems like a long time ago as if it will never go away.
Yet if you think I can forgive and forget have you back as if nothing happened your so wrong, it's never going to happen.
Sorry but I don't feel the same way for you anymore.
All I needed to do was get rid of the feelings for you, which is what I have done.
Now I have moved on to a better life than I had with you. 13.4.2013
Yes I do want to see you again whatever happens.
I like and care about you as a person.
Like you as person, it's the same with me many people look at my disabilities not the person I am.
It's like no one seems to see the good in us as if they only see only weaknesses.
Only time will tell how you and I will end up.
Whatever goes on between you and me there's no need for any hate to happen between us.
Just take our time whatever happens, when anything havens, if anything happens.
In the mean time enjoy chatting 2 one another online, text, phone and email.
This will give us more time to get to know one another.
Take everyday as it comes.
It's better to have someone in some way than no one at all. 11.4.2013
What was I thinking?
I drank myself away and eat far less.
For me to have been like that I was very depressed.
To me you were my world but as years went on I learned you weren't as special as I though.
Now I don't feel the same for you anyone you hurt me so bad.
I just carried for years thinking you'd change until my feelings weren't there for you anymore.
I thought of nothing and no one else but you now I dread seeing you anywhere.
I can only think how much you hurt me.
One day I won't think about you at all.
The drink numbed the pain hoping how I was feeling was all in my mind but it wasn't.
Hoping that I didn't know you or that you still loved but you know me and didn't love me liked I loved you.
Why did I let you upset my mind?
Now it all seems like a long time ago as if it will never go away.
Yet if you think I can forgive and forget have you back as if nothing happened your so wrong, it's never going to happen.
Sorry but I don't feel the same way for you anymore.
All I needed to do was get rid of the feelings for you, which is what I have done.
Now I have moved on to a better life than I had with you. 13.4.2013
I thought I was weak now I strong.
Pain was too much to bare.
Now I know it shouldn't have hurt me as much as it did.
Now it seems as if I have had a long nightmare my sleep.
Let's just think I knew you yet I didn't know you.
It took me a long time to understand that you weren't the man for me.
Losing was the end of the world for me now I would walk away if I saw your face.
I know I needed to lose weight but not that much weight because of you.
Yesterday seemed like a long time ago for today and tomorrow. 13.4.2013
Your not happy.
Your not happy whether you have me in your life or not, that doesn't surprise me with your mind games.
Tomorrow is a new and different day for me, it's time to move and yesterday has gone.
Now I have gone out of your life for good I don't have to put up with your promises and your lies.
I am now living a happy and new life without you with what you put me through.
To have been with you in the first place is hard to know why iI put up with you all those years yet I thought it was love.
How wrong and blind was I what was going through my mind at the time?
Why did it take all those years to know that you were never at all mine? 16.4.2013
Life goes on.
For a time I was lost and I felt alone after loving someone for so long.
I bared nearly 6 years alone.
Been alone wasn't the reason for starting to chat to you, I tried not to look for love at all.
Friendship was all I excepted.
Everyone saw me carrying on as if nothing happened but underneath I was hurt.
I must carry on to think I have to move on to a new life after so long alone.
It takes so long to use to a new way of life.
I use to feel hurt a lot but not anymore.
It's seemed so long I felt hurt it was as if nothing was going to change.
I never thought I was going to get better.
Now it's just a case of how long this date will last compaired to what I have had before.
We must take my time this time round, we are getting no younger.
I only hope that I am getting wiser.
What am I waiting for?
Inside my nevus are going half a mile to the dozen because everything been so new to me, what about you?
Pain was too much to bare.
Now I know it shouldn't have hurt me as much as it did.
Now it seems as if I have had a long nightmare my sleep.
Let's just think I knew you yet I didn't know you.
It took me a long time to understand that you weren't the man for me.
Losing was the end of the world for me now I would walk away if I saw your face.
I know I needed to lose weight but not that much weight because of you.
Yesterday seemed like a long time ago for today and tomorrow. 13.4.2013
Your not happy.
Your not happy whether you have me in your life or not, that doesn't surprise me with your mind games.
Tomorrow is a new and different day for me, it's time to move and yesterday has gone.
Now I have gone out of your life for good I don't have to put up with your promises and your lies.
I am now living a happy and new life without you with what you put me through.
To have been with you in the first place is hard to know why iI put up with you all those years yet I thought it was love.
How wrong and blind was I what was going through my mind at the time?
Why did it take all those years to know that you were never at all mine? 16.4.2013
Life goes on.
For a time I was lost and I felt alone after loving someone for so long.
I bared nearly 6 years alone.
Been alone wasn't the reason for starting to chat to you, I tried not to look for love at all.
Friendship was all I excepted.
Everyone saw me carrying on as if nothing happened but underneath I was hurt.
I must carry on to think I have to move on to a new life after so long alone.
It takes so long to use to a new way of life.
I use to feel hurt a lot but not anymore.
It's seemed so long I felt hurt it was as if nothing was going to change.
I never thought I was going to get better.
Now it's just a case of how long this date will last compaired to what I have had before.
We must take my time this time round, we are getting no younger.
I only hope that I am getting wiser.
What am I waiting for?
Inside my nevus are going half a mile to the dozen because everything been so new to me, what about you?
I'm unsure of every move I make just in case I
make it too soon.
Butterflies are already flying round inside me waiting to see you again.
Whatever happen to me yesterday I put behind, now you are on my mind.
I must carry on to put behind me what has gone.
No matter how i feel inside I smile on the outside.
I can't wait to see you again. 17.4.2013
I believe I will get there in the end.
Now you have gone offline I miss you but I know we will be back there chatting time.
I believe I will get there and it will be worth it in the end.
My feelings for you are hard to control and my friendship for you is growing into more.
Yet I know it's far early days still but I find my feelings hard to show.
I am thinking about you all the time even when either one or both of us are offline.
I'm wishing I was with you but I am glad to have my space.
I don't want to rush into things because I don't want to spoil a thing between us.
It's seems so silly in one way because it's still such early days.
Yet my feelings are getting stronger and stronger for you everyday.
I missing chatting to you online but i understand that both of us have other things in our lives, even though our feelings are growing towards one another everyday.
It's only a matter of time until we see one another again we will make it worth it again.
When see one another again we will make a go of this together.
Let's hope it's sunny weather.
I know I have to wait just like you do so we will have to control one anothers' feelings till then.
Can't wait to see you again waiting is hard to do we can hang on there.
I know that neither of us can wait to meet again.
I can't wait to see you walking off the train holding my hand again. 25.4.2013
Butterflies are already flying round inside me waiting to see you again.
Whatever happen to me yesterday I put behind, now you are on my mind.
I must carry on to put behind me what has gone.
No matter how i feel inside I smile on the outside.
I can't wait to see you again. 17.4.2013
I believe I will get there in the end.
Now you have gone offline I miss you but I know we will be back there chatting time.
I believe I will get there and it will be worth it in the end.
My feelings for you are hard to control and my friendship for you is growing into more.
Yet I know it's far early days still but I find my feelings hard to show.
I am thinking about you all the time even when either one or both of us are offline.
I'm wishing I was with you but I am glad to have my space.
I don't want to rush into things because I don't want to spoil a thing between us.
It's seems so silly in one way because it's still such early days.
Yet my feelings are getting stronger and stronger for you everyday.
I missing chatting to you online but i understand that both of us have other things in our lives, even though our feelings are growing towards one another everyday.
It's only a matter of time until we see one another again we will make it worth it again.
When see one another again we will make a go of this together.
Let's hope it's sunny weather.
I know I have to wait just like you do so we will have to control one anothers' feelings till then.
Can't wait to see you again waiting is hard to do we can hang on there.
I know that neither of us can wait to meet again.
I can't wait to see you walking off the train holding my hand again. 25.4.2013
There doesn't seem and need to be a reason why
I love you.
It's very explainable why I love you other than I find you very respectable towards me and to me there's something very special about.
What is special about you to me I can't put my finger on that either.
All I know is that I love you, which I couldn't control even if I wanted to.
My reasons for my feelings towards you are just so unknown to myself as well as you.
Why would I want to try and control the way I feel about you when the way we feel about one another makes one another happy?
I love you and want you no one can take that away from me whether they like it or not.
I feel this way about you whether it's right or wrong my feelings for you are very strong.
There should be no wrong or and no shame for loving a person for a person mainly the way I love you.
I love you.
I hate the way people judge people.
At the end of the day everyone has good and bad in them it doesn't matter who and what they are. 5.5.2013
I don't want to lose the happiness I have got.
I can't help but love you but I don't want to lose the happiness I have got.
I don't want to spoil a thing by rushing into things.
It's far too easy to love too soon when feelings are so strong so I need to slow down.
The good and nice feelings are hard to control but I don't want be ungratefully to happiness.
I don't want to throw away the happiness I have got.
I just need to slow down because I don't want to spoil a thing we have got.
I never thought I would love anyone like you but I do.
I admit on our first date because we only just meet I was nervus like you but I was unsure of my own feelings.
Since then my feelings have grown towards you even more.
I was feeling very sad when you had gone on the train after our first date.
It was only then that I started to know how I was really starting to feel towards you.
I found it hard to show my feelings on the date yet I couldn't wait to see you before hand.
I was very sad to see you go, it was only when you had gone my feelings was wanting to show.
I had to stop myself from starting to cry regretting not showing my feelings when you were here.
It's very explainable why I love you other than I find you very respectable towards me and to me there's something very special about.
What is special about you to me I can't put my finger on that either.
All I know is that I love you, which I couldn't control even if I wanted to.
My reasons for my feelings towards you are just so unknown to myself as well as you.
Why would I want to try and control the way I feel about you when the way we feel about one another makes one another happy?
I love you and want you no one can take that away from me whether they like it or not.
I feel this way about you whether it's right or wrong my feelings for you are very strong.
There should be no wrong or and no shame for loving a person for a person mainly the way I love you.
I love you.
I hate the way people judge people.
At the end of the day everyone has good and bad in them it doesn't matter who and what they are. 5.5.2013
I don't want to lose the happiness I have got.
I can't help but love you but I don't want to lose the happiness I have got.
I don't want to spoil a thing by rushing into things.
It's far too easy to love too soon when feelings are so strong so I need to slow down.
The good and nice feelings are hard to control but I don't want be ungratefully to happiness.
I don't want to throw away the happiness I have got.
I just need to slow down because I don't want to spoil a thing we have got.
I never thought I would love anyone like you but I do.
I admit on our first date because we only just meet I was nervus like you but I was unsure of my own feelings.
Since then my feelings have grown towards you even more.
I was feeling very sad when you had gone on the train after our first date.
It was only then that I started to know how I was really starting to feel towards you.
I found it hard to show my feelings on the date yet I couldn't wait to see you before hand.
I was very sad to see you go, it was only when you had gone my feelings was wanting to show.
I had to stop myself from starting to cry regretting not showing my feelings when you were here.
I felt
so ashamed with myself when you'd gone it felt too late, then I thought no I
will be dating him again. 6.5.2013
We never knew.
We never thought of love when we first spoke online, which at that time was fine.
In time our feelings grow more and more towards one another as we got chatting.
Even now it's still unknown whether one found the other or we found each other.
Time goes so fast when we are chatting yet so slow when we are not.
Time when so fast when we were dating one another twice seeing one another yet seeing one another again seems so long to come.
What I have said is true no one I have loved has loved me as much as you do. 28.5.2013.
Only you know what you missed.
You are such a time waster.
You never saw me at all as a kid.
If only you knew what you missed.
Playing on the bench, during adulthood you have so rarely contacted me.
I contacted you mostly.
Your no Father of mine, you are just thoughtless but not bad as a friend.
That's hard to accept you as a friend when underneath your my Dad.
This show your no Father at all.
Your lose and my gain, when I had a better childhood without you.
So I can carry on having better adulthood without you. 4.1.2013
We never knew.
We never thought of love when we first spoke online, which at that time was fine.
In time our feelings grow more and more towards one another as we got chatting.
Even now it's still unknown whether one found the other or we found each other.
Time goes so fast when we are chatting yet so slow when we are not.
Time when so fast when we were dating one another twice seeing one another yet seeing one another again seems so long to come.
What I have said is true no one I have loved has loved me as much as you do. 28.5.2013.
Only you know what you missed.
You are such a time waster.
You never saw me at all as a kid.
If only you knew what you missed.
Playing on the bench, during adulthood you have so rarely contacted me.
I contacted you mostly.
Your no Father of mine, you are just thoughtless but not bad as a friend.
That's hard to accept you as a friend when underneath your my Dad.
This show your no Father at all.
Your lose and my gain, when I had a better childhood without you.
So I can carry on having better adulthood without you. 4.1.2013
I thought it would
have been easy for us to be Father and Daughter.
There are many people in this world in the same boat as us if not worse.
When I first met and knew you at twenty - one I could see the future and everything seemed alright to me until many years later when you told me about the younger children.
Now I know it's hard to build a Father and Daughter relationship with you through adulthood.
So the end is unhappy how this all turned out. Written 5.7.2000 - 2013
There are many people in this world in the same boat as us if not worse.
When I first met and knew you at twenty - one I could see the future and everything seemed alright to me until many years later when you told me about the younger children.
Now I know it's hard to build a Father and Daughter relationship with you through adulthood.
So the end is unhappy how this all turned out. Written 5.7.2000 - 2013
what does it feel
like?
I wanted to give you a chance to be my Father; it does not seem to be like that.
The reason for that is what your family told me or should I say my Mum about you.
It's hard to forget a family past like that.
Sometimes can put it behind me other times I cannot.
Knowing that I did not see you as a child is still hard to take in.
It hurt more as a child and that you are not seeing these children now.
I will still find a way of getting on with my life without you the same as I had no choice as a child.
Don't think I am afraid that if I managed as a child I can manage now to live without seeing you.
Written 5.7.2000 -2013
I wanted to give you a chance to be my Father; it does not seem to be like that.
The reason for that is what your family told me or should I say my Mum about you.
It's hard to forget a family past like that.
Sometimes can put it behind me other times I cannot.
Knowing that I did not see you as a child is still hard to take in.
It hurt more as a child and that you are not seeing these children now.
I will still find a way of getting on with my life without you the same as I had no choice as a child.
Don't think I am afraid that if I managed as a child I can manage now to live without seeing you.
Written 5.7.2000 -2013
Men and love.
What has been missing out of my life?
May be I don't need it, may be I can do without love of a man.
Not just in a partner but in my own Father.
Where were you when I needed you?
That was a silly question, was it?
All my life, I have felt anger asking myself why I did not see you as child.
My entire Mother's family managed very well with me.
I don't feel like your daughter at all.
For whatever reason you could not see me for you could have seen me for a little while.
You are my Father it seems wrong that you were not around when I was a child. Written 5.7.2000 - 2013
What has been missing out of my life?
May be I don't need it, may be I can do without love of a man.
Not just in a partner but in my own Father.
Where were you when I needed you?
That was a silly question, was it?
All my life, I have felt anger asking myself why I did not see you as child.
My entire Mother's family managed very well with me.
I don't feel like your daughter at all.
For whatever reason you could not see me for you could have seen me for a little while.
You are my Father it seems wrong that you were not around when I was a child. Written 5.7.2000 - 2013
It's far too late.
My Mother told me about you when I was five.
Why did you confuse my mind?
I know I did not know any difference at the age of five but you made me feel unhappy when find out at the age five.
The reason for that was because I knew Ray as my Father then I was suddenly told that you are my real Father Max.
Now we can't turn back the clock.
Sorry I can't be a child again.
Now I am grown up, it's your lose. Written 5.7.2000 - 2013
My Mother told me about you when I was five.
Why did you confuse my mind?
I know I did not know any difference at the age of five but you made me feel unhappy when find out at the age five.
The reason for that was because I knew Ray as my Father then I was suddenly told that you are my real Father Max.
Now we can't turn back the clock.
Sorry I can't be a child again.
Now I am grown up, it's your lose. Written 5.7.2000 - 2013
you
have had your chance to be my Father.
My Mother and her family gave you a chance to be my Father during my childhood.
For some reason you were not there but for whatever reason it was what you can't change the facts that I am your daughter.
You have not changed now, have you?
I thought I could forgive and forget until you told me you have two other children me and may be my half brother Jay has not seen.
This must be worse for them than it was for me as they are in care, they must be wondering who their real family really are.
Now I am an adult you don't feel like my Father, I just feel like me. Written 5.7.2000 - 2013
My Mother and her family gave you a chance to be my Father during my childhood.
For some reason you were not there but for whatever reason it was what you can't change the facts that I am your daughter.
You have not changed now, have you?
I thought I could forgive and forget until you told me you have two other children me and may be my half brother Jay has not seen.
This must be worse for them than it was for me as they are in care, they must be wondering who their real family really are.
Now I am an adult you don't feel like my Father, I just feel like me. Written 5.7.2000 - 2013
What does it feel
like?
I wanted to give you a chance to be my Father; it does not seem to be like that.
The reason for that is what your family told me or should I say my Mum about you.
It's hard to forget a family past like that.
Sometimes can put it behind me other times I cannot.
Knowing that I did not see you as a child is still hard to take in.
It hurt more as a child and that you are not seeing these children now.
I will still find a way of getting on with my life without you the same as I had no choice as a child.
Don't think I am afraid that if I managed as a child I can manage now to live without seeing you.
Written 5.7.2000 - 2013
I wanted to give you a chance to be my Father; it does not seem to be like that.
The reason for that is what your family told me or should I say my Mum about you.
It's hard to forget a family past like that.
Sometimes can put it behind me other times I cannot.
Knowing that I did not see you as a child is still hard to take in.
It hurt more as a child and that you are not seeing these children now.
I will still find a way of getting on with my life without you the same as I had no choice as a child.
Don't think I am afraid that if I managed as a child I can manage now to live without seeing you.
Written 5.7.2000 - 2013
What has
it done to me?
Things could have been worse I know.
All the same it's not good enough!
There's only so much I can take, I have accepted it long enough.
Thank god things can't get that much bad or worse.
I am sorry, I wish I knew how to carry on as if nothing has happened but I afraid I am very disappointed in you, Dad I thought you may have chanced to what you were like in the past but for what you told me it does not sound like it.
Never mind me I am grown up my childhood was past, they are your young child you should think about their future, and can’t you see that?
You are the only one who has lost out whether you see that or not I don't know.
Do you know that!
What has it done to my life, more important what will it done to Henry and Louise's life? More to the point what has it done to Jay's life?
When I go into relationships I fall in love too easy, when I get hurt I find it hard to let go.
I know I dream of a far away future still the same as when I was a younger person.
Now I must tell myself to take things day by day.
Whatever the future is and how we end up does not bother me as long as he's mine and I am his. Written 4.7.2000 -2013
This is what you
have put me through.
When relationships end, I have always cracked into pieces.
Depression hits me really bad, it's always hurtful and upsetting and take it takes me ages to get through.
I am so glad I write poetry otherwise I'd never get through.
Even if I have people around me I feel as if the whole world is coming down on me.
I just seem to really crack up; I bet that does that to a lot of people too.
I feel so guilty and selfish because everyone has relationship break ups, not just me.
It's hard to put it into words, what I do to go to pieces like this.
You would have to see me in this state but then again I don't like anyone seeing me like this, I feel ashamed of myself.
I am very sorry if I have upset people when I have been upset like this. Written 4.7.2000 - 2013
When relationships end, I have always cracked into pieces.
Depression hits me really bad, it's always hurtful and upsetting and take it takes me ages to get through.
I am so glad I write poetry otherwise I'd never get through.
Even if I have people around me I feel as if the whole world is coming down on me.
I just seem to really crack up; I bet that does that to a lot of people too.
I feel so guilty and selfish because everyone has relationship break ups, not just me.
It's hard to put it into words, what I do to go to pieces like this.
You would have to see me in this state but then again I don't like anyone seeing me like this, I feel ashamed of myself.
I am very sorry if I have upset people when I have been upset like this. Written 4.7.2000 - 2013
You have
made me feel empty.
Sometimes I have felt as if something has been missing in my life.
I have never known really what it is.
What do you know Father, it's partly caused by me and mainly caused by you because I find it hard to let go of love.
I hope this young gentleman will fill in the missing gap.
Looking back now, no other man who has been my lover has been there like you. Written 4.7.2000 - 2013
I think I forgive
you Dad.
I forgive Dad; sorry I got angry with you.
I can't help but feel disappointed that you missed my childhood.
I am happy to put the past behind me, well I will try the best I can.
I don't think my young half brother and sister will ever forgive me for this though knowing that they may not have seen either of us you, me or Jay.
Please don't forget I have not forgotten though, I may live with it but it will never come out my head.
I agree that it must have been a shock for you with me on the way because Mum and you were so young.
I know now that these things could have happened for the best, all good things come to an end.
In whatever way the past may have affected me I am willing to cope the best I can.
I know I call you Dad sometimes I think life is too not to talk again but other times with not seeing Henry and Louise I feel as if I am a jigsaw with two pieces missing out of me.
Forgiving me what I said but I am confused Dad.
Ray had been always the person called Dad.
Ray looked after me as a child; he was there for me when I was ill.
All Dads should do for their kids what Ray has done.
Please don't feel guilty because you can't change the past but you can be difference in the future though.
I was angry because I wanted to try to put the past behind me.
I must make a new start put the past behind and look to the future.
May be I could think of you as a friend rather than a Father but that's hard when you are my Father.
I still feel as two human beings are missing from my life mine half brother and sister, I bet Jay feels the same way too.
Whatever me and Jay say we may not say how we really feel because we have had choice but to live with the situation you have created Dad.
I don't know whether or not Jay knows about Henry and Louise.
I am sorry if I am confusing you because I am confused myself but seeing as my Dad and you are confusing too. Written 25.7.2000
I forgive Dad; sorry I got angry with you.
I can't help but feel disappointed that you missed my childhood.
I am happy to put the past behind me, well I will try the best I can.
I don't think my young half brother and sister will ever forgive me for this though knowing that they may not have seen either of us you, me or Jay.
Please don't forget I have not forgotten though, I may live with it but it will never come out my head.
I agree that it must have been a shock for you with me on the way because Mum and you were so young.
I know now that these things could have happened for the best, all good things come to an end.
In whatever way the past may have affected me I am willing to cope the best I can.
I know I call you Dad sometimes I think life is too not to talk again but other times with not seeing Henry and Louise I feel as if I am a jigsaw with two pieces missing out of me.
Forgiving me what I said but I am confused Dad.
Ray had been always the person called Dad.
Ray looked after me as a child; he was there for me when I was ill.
All Dads should do for their kids what Ray has done.
Please don't feel guilty because you can't change the past but you can be difference in the future though.
I was angry because I wanted to try to put the past behind me.
I must make a new start put the past behind and look to the future.
May be I could think of you as a friend rather than a Father but that's hard when you are my Father.
I still feel as two human beings are missing from my life mine half brother and sister, I bet Jay feels the same way too.
Whatever me and Jay say we may not say how we really feel because we have had choice but to live with the situation you have created Dad.
I don't know whether or not Jay knows about Henry and Louise.
I am sorry if I am confusing you because I am confused myself but seeing as my Dad and you are confusing too. Written 25.7.2000
My Father.
My Father can be very good to me.
On the whole we are Father and daughter who get on very well.
We talk, laugh, eat and listen to music together.
We get on very well together. 22.5.2001
My Father can be very good to me.
On the whole we are Father and daughter who get on very well.
We talk, laugh, eat and listen to music together.
We get on very well together. 22.5.2001
Time goes by fast.
I remember playing on the beach making sand castles as a child with my bucket and spade.
My Father never saw me use my bucket and spade in the sand with my pals.
I didn't have chance to should him my bucket of shells.
When my Father looked at me after twenty - one years I was grown up, those days childhood days were gone.
Now I am a young woman of thirty - one, I wonder where time has gone.
When you’re a child you were grown up, when you are grown up you wish you were a child again.25.5.2001
now I am grown up.
It's a shame I am grown up because my youth has gone.
The good thing about getting older is that you should get wiser.
My Father and I have more in common than we would have when I was a child.
Listening to Bod Dylan instead of playing dolls.
The great thing about been grown up I can join in with what my Father does instead of been board with one another doing difference things. 29.5.2001
I remember playing on the beach making sand castles as a child with my bucket and spade.
My Father never saw me use my bucket and spade in the sand with my pals.
I didn't have chance to should him my bucket of shells.
When my Father looked at me after twenty - one years I was grown up, those days childhood days were gone.
Now I am a young woman of thirty - one, I wonder where time has gone.
When you’re a child you were grown up, when you are grown up you wish you were a child again.25.5.2001
now I am grown up.
It's a shame I am grown up because my youth has gone.
The good thing about getting older is that you should get wiser.
My Father and I have more in common than we would have when I was a child.
Listening to Bod Dylan instead of playing dolls.
The great thing about been grown up I can join in with what my Father does instead of been board with one another doing difference things. 29.5.2001
Father Ray.
When I was a baby and small child, Father Ray uses to take carry me, here there and everywhere.
He uses to hold my hand everywhere in Fathering care.
Father, Ray use to kiss and cuddle me with tender loving to be.
Father, Ray was always there to make sure I ate all my tea.
When I was fifteen years old he drove round the night clubs in Margate looking for me.
Father, Ray is such a gentleman and Dad to me better than my real Father has been.
In emergency Father, Ray is always there to care and to share.
Father, Ray is a loving Dad as much as he can be.
When it was my birthday Father, Ray was still here with me.
When my Mother told me that my Father was not Ray, I was confused not knowing what was happening to me.
I was mad, angry and I cried.
I was frightened to go to sleep that night in case I had nightmares.
When I was ill Father, Ray took care of me.
When I was a baby and small child, Father Ray uses to take carry me, here there and everywhere.
He uses to hold my hand everywhere in Fathering care.
Father, Ray use to kiss and cuddle me with tender loving to be.
Father, Ray was always there to make sure I ate all my tea.
When I was fifteen years old he drove round the night clubs in Margate looking for me.
Father, Ray is such a gentleman and Dad to me better than my real Father has been.
In emergency Father, Ray is always there to care and to share.
Father, Ray is a loving Dad as much as he can be.
When it was my birthday Father, Ray was still here with me.
When my Mother told me that my Father was not Ray, I was confused not knowing what was happening to me.
I was mad, angry and I cried.
I was frightened to go to sleep that night in case I had nightmares.
When I was ill Father, Ray took care of me.
Confused parents
make confused children, it does not help their relationships either still
that's life. In my case I have just left a confused man over mouth ago after
15 years. I am not confused now at least I hope not anyway. 1997 – 2000
I wonder
what I am doing here.
What am I doing here?
Why did you put me here?
These two questions I have been
asking myself all my life.
You don’t really know me and I don’t
really know you.
Yet you put me on the planet in the
first place.
I can’t but wonder if you’re alright
because no one is getting any younger are they?
Am I just no one and you are in good
health?
If only I knew what’s going through
your mind.
My feelings are so mixed about you.
It seems as if I should put you out
my mind but I don’t know how to because you are my Father.
So much time has been wasted and life
is so short.
Therefore if anything happens to you
I won’t know will me?
Why is it down to me to do the
contacting all the time?
I should turn off my brain but I
don’t know how to.
I only wish I could be like you turn
off my brain and forget the rest of the world but then I don’t I’m so glad I am
getting on with my life and doing well without you.
It seems as if you don’t think at all
even though you might well do so how I am I suppose to know?
Yet it seems only when you see me it
reminds me that I am apart of you.
It seems as if you don’t think but
you must do the fact I don’t know is what hurts.
Not knowing asks questions in the
mind and answers can’t be given.
This is where I go out of my mind if
only I could turn myself off but I can’t because I am your daughter. 13.7.2013
We are stronger than we think.
We feel scared of pain yet we have already been through pain.
Pain is part of life, we go through good and bad everyday some things we notice others we don't.
Each and every one of us different how we react to pain.
Some of us talks about what causes our pain and others don't.
Everyone should have their own choice how they deal with whatever pain they have whatever has happened in their lives whether it's happened to them or people they know.
People must be force to deal with whatever they are going through people want them to only they want to.
Yes it's true to get things off your mind but that's up to the person whose going whatever whether they want to or not.
We must respect some people like to keep things people and only certain people they want to tell if they tell.
If anyone says anything to anyone they choose to talk to.
There are some things that people may well be open to depend what it is and if they feel better talking about it.
To some if not most situations it's not good to bottle things up but it's still people choices if they want to talk about whatever all or not, it's not about what the rest of the world thinks.
It's down to the person themselves to speak about their problem only if they want to.
This could depend on what's on the person's mind.
In some situations pain is a wake up call in fact all when we fall down and get back up again everyday of our lives without realizing we are stronger than what we think we are.
Pain is a feeling that is a part of us whether we are realizing or not whether we like it or not.
Good and bad is part of been an animal and a human being.
If peoples choices are to express their pain, they should have the rights and choices to stand up for themselves, others and raise awareness of what they have or are going through if they want. 21.7.2013
We believe in each other.
I believe you have faith in yourself so I believe that you have faith in me.
I believe you know what and who you want in your life and you never change your mind.
I believe you know what you want within me.
Its great have someone in my life who believes in because no other man I have had in my life has.
Yes I believe that you believe in me like I believe in you.
I believe you bring the positive in me yet your more clever than me.
You believing the positive in me is helping me slowly to think postive about myself. 21.7.2013.
We feel scared of pain yet we have already been through pain.
Pain is part of life, we go through good and bad everyday some things we notice others we don't.
Each and every one of us different how we react to pain.
Some of us talks about what causes our pain and others don't.
Everyone should have their own choice how they deal with whatever pain they have whatever has happened in their lives whether it's happened to them or people they know.
People must be force to deal with whatever they are going through people want them to only they want to.
Yes it's true to get things off your mind but that's up to the person whose going whatever whether they want to or not.
We must respect some people like to keep things people and only certain people they want to tell if they tell.
If anyone says anything to anyone they choose to talk to.
There are some things that people may well be open to depend what it is and if they feel better talking about it.
To some if not most situations it's not good to bottle things up but it's still people choices if they want to talk about whatever all or not, it's not about what the rest of the world thinks.
It's down to the person themselves to speak about their problem only if they want to.
This could depend on what's on the person's mind.
In some situations pain is a wake up call in fact all when we fall down and get back up again everyday of our lives without realizing we are stronger than what we think we are.
Pain is a feeling that is a part of us whether we are realizing or not whether we like it or not.
Good and bad is part of been an animal and a human being.
If peoples choices are to express their pain, they should have the rights and choices to stand up for themselves, others and raise awareness of what they have or are going through if they want. 21.7.2013
We believe in each other.
I believe you have faith in yourself so I believe that you have faith in me.
I believe you know what and who you want in your life and you never change your mind.
I believe you know what you want within me.
Its great have someone in my life who believes in because no other man I have had in my life has.
Yes I believe that you believe in me like I believe in you.
I believe you bring the positive in me yet your more clever than me.
You believing the positive in me is helping me slowly to think postive about myself. 21.7.2013.
Before I met you online.
I spoke to quite a few guys before I met you online but none of them were my type.
I spoke to quite a few guys before I met you online but none of them were my type.
To me going to relationship wasn't
the right time at that time.
Some where pushy, others wanted more than friendship, others were boring and others wanted their cake and eat it, before you that are what it was like for me all the time.
Since I met you online you have given me a good time chatting to you every time.
When I met you I accepted to full in love with you online.
I thought I'd write some lines of what's going through my mind.
I'm thinking about you all the time.
You are very kind.
You are mine and I can't get you off my mind.
Now for me and you now is the time to start our life.
Now I wish you were by my side.
With you have felt wine and dined, which I have never felt like that for some time.
At that point I just wanted friendship just talking about everyday life.
There were a few that contacted me who accepted too much of me at that time.
Many could have wanted my money in time.
Many could have been out of their minds.
I know even with you if took me a while to decide what was going through my mind at our dating time.
4.7.2013
It's all my fault.
I should have understood what you were going through.
I wasn't thinking straight at the time.
I was saying things I don't really mean.
How selfish am I?
If only I could turn back the clock.
I only I knew the name of the person who should have been looking after you.
There must be more to explain that I can't think of.
I am full of regret of what I should and shouldn't have said.
How I do love you.
How I feel as if I let you down and myself too. 25.8.2013
Some where pushy, others wanted more than friendship, others were boring and others wanted their cake and eat it, before you that are what it was like for me all the time.
Since I met you online you have given me a good time chatting to you every time.
When I met you I accepted to full in love with you online.
I thought I'd write some lines of what's going through my mind.
I'm thinking about you all the time.
You are very kind.
You are mine and I can't get you off my mind.
Now for me and you now is the time to start our life.
Now I wish you were by my side.
With you have felt wine and dined, which I have never felt like that for some time.
At that point I just wanted friendship just talking about everyday life.
There were a few that contacted me who accepted too much of me at that time.
Many could have wanted my money in time.
Many could have been out of their minds.
I know even with you if took me a while to decide what was going through my mind at our dating time.
4.7.2013
It's all my fault.
I should have understood what you were going through.
I wasn't thinking straight at the time.
I was saying things I don't really mean.
How selfish am I?
If only I could turn back the clock.
I only I knew the name of the person who should have been looking after you.
There must be more to explain that I can't think of.
I am full of regret of what I should and shouldn't have said.
How I do love you.
How I feel as if I let you down and myself too. 25.8.2013
Thank you so much.
Thank you for everything.
I feel as if I have let you down because I have let myself down.
I never thought it would end this way.
How dare I react as I did?
I should have known that I have been through worse than this.
I should have accepted what you wanted but give me more time to come to terms with this.
I need time to come to terms with depression.
May be May not all this is in my head.
It's like the world thinks I have gone crazy and mad.
I need to fight my depression.
I need to accept that you don't love me like I love you.
I need to stop making life hard for you. 25.8.2013
How dare you Mr Manager.
How dare you wreck our life?
How dare you take away the man I love?
May be you have broke us up but I still fight my depression.
May be my Anxiety and Depression is all in my head but either way I will write poetry however life treats me.
Now I need to hope I can sleep tonight with all what's on my mind.
A mind that thinks nonstop 24 hours a day.
May be the pain that I feel is what I write into poetry.
What is it to be poetry or death?
I need to say poetry to keep myself alive.
To keep myself going along strong.
I need to fight these bad thoughts.
I guess I may or may not love again. 25.8.2013
Now I need to end the night.
Now I need to end the night not my life which not a easy thing to think when you are so down with life.
Hit the bed after the last cigarette.
Fights those thoughts about death and go to bed.
Fight the thoughts about self harm going through my head.
Since 1997 I have been writing poetry wondering how much of my life is left.
What the heck I write instead.
Wondering where to go next.
Will I sleep in my bed.
I will I take a tablet then forget what's in my head. 25.8.2013
Thank you for everything.
I feel as if I have let you down because I have let myself down.
I never thought it would end this way.
How dare I react as I did?
I should have known that I have been through worse than this.
I should have accepted what you wanted but give me more time to come to terms with this.
I need time to come to terms with depression.
May be May not all this is in my head.
It's like the world thinks I have gone crazy and mad.
I need to fight my depression.
I need to accept that you don't love me like I love you.
I need to stop making life hard for you. 25.8.2013
How dare you Mr Manager.
How dare you wreck our life?
How dare you take away the man I love?
May be you have broke us up but I still fight my depression.
May be my Anxiety and Depression is all in my head but either way I will write poetry however life treats me.
Now I need to hope I can sleep tonight with all what's on my mind.
A mind that thinks nonstop 24 hours a day.
May be the pain that I feel is what I write into poetry.
What is it to be poetry or death?
I need to say poetry to keep myself alive.
To keep myself going along strong.
I need to fight these bad thoughts.
I guess I may or may not love again. 25.8.2013
Now I need to end the night.
Now I need to end the night not my life which not a easy thing to think when you are so down with life.
Hit the bed after the last cigarette.
Fights those thoughts about death and go to bed.
Fight the thoughts about self harm going through my head.
Since 1997 I have been writing poetry wondering how much of my life is left.
What the heck I write instead.
Wondering where to go next.
Will I sleep in my bed.
I will I take a tablet then forget what's in my head. 25.8.2013
Keep writing what's in my head.
I keep writing what's in my head.
To sleep to try to block what's in my head.
If only I didn't have any regrets.
I feel as if I have failed myself and others.
Time for a fag then bed.
Unknown whether or not that I will wake again.
To face the pain and distress tomorrow.
To know if I can carry on fighting how I feel about life.
I wish I could shut the bad thoughts out my head.
Where would I be without talent? 25.8.2013
I have sadly woken up.
I have sadly woken up to face the everyday stress.
I just don't want to be in this world anymore.
I will stay alive to keep others happy but what I want is different to them.
I will never work again I don't want to, which is so unlike me.
I don't feel well enough.
I don't feel happy enough.
I am a sick woman.
I am sick in the head.
I feel as if I am going round the bend.
Yes, I know what you mean it's all in my head.
I will bring myself down to ground.
I don't want to eat again which is not me cause I love my food.
I will sleep tonight in hopes I will feel better tomorrow. 25.8.2013
I keep writing what's in my head.
To sleep to try to block what's in my head.
If only I didn't have any regrets.
I feel as if I have failed myself and others.
Time for a fag then bed.
Unknown whether or not that I will wake again.
To face the pain and distress tomorrow.
To know if I can carry on fighting how I feel about life.
I wish I could shut the bad thoughts out my head.
Where would I be without talent? 25.8.2013
I have sadly woken up.
I have sadly woken up to face the everyday stress.
I just don't want to be in this world anymore.
I will stay alive to keep others happy but what I want is different to them.
I will never work again I don't want to, which is so unlike me.
I don't feel well enough.
I don't feel happy enough.
I am a sick woman.
I am sick in the head.
I feel as if I am going round the bend.
Yes, I know what you mean it's all in my head.
I will bring myself down to ground.
I don't want to eat again which is not me cause I love my food.
I will sleep tonight in hopes I will feel better tomorrow. 25.8.2013
GPS think disabled
people and unwell people are mad.
Not enough time to spend with us to find out what is really wrong with us.
We are judged and misunderstood because we find it hard to explain ourselves.
If we have Mental Health problems we are mad people as far as the Gps think.
We are disbelieved because we look fine to them.
They either do scan and tests they come back normal and we are still unwell, doesn't make sense.
Some GPs refuse to do anything at all because they don't understand Learning Disability and Mental Health.
Whatever you say to the GPs they respond to you as if you have gone mad.
They can even mistake us look as if we are lying.
Ok we may well guess but neither patients or GPs don't until they do the tests.30.8.2013
Good moments and bad moments.
One minute I feel happy and another minute I feel sad.
Everyday my mood changes through the day.
This happens to me whether I have reason to be happy or sad or not.
Most of the time worry about things that don't turn out to be that bad.
Some problems seem so big to me but so small to others.
People who don't have theses problems understand why I get as stressed as I do.
There many others like me I know. 30.8.2013
Enough is enough.
If only I didn't have anyone to leave behind upset.
It sounds ungrateful and selfish I know.
I am not ungrateful and selfish though.
I am a fighter i staying alive yet I get depressed very easy.
I will be honest say it feels as if life is too painful go on living at times.
Yet for all what's going on in the world these days there's nothing to live for.
As times get harder you don't have to suffer from depression to be depression life does that it's self.
The world it's self is suffering from depression like it was in the 1930s.
Depression is stressful and painful for all.
Why not let a bomb off to blow us up to heaven. 30.8.2013
I'd love to see myself as Mary Poplins.
Not enough time to spend with us to find out what is really wrong with us.
We are judged and misunderstood because we find it hard to explain ourselves.
If we have Mental Health problems we are mad people as far as the Gps think.
We are disbelieved because we look fine to them.
They either do scan and tests they come back normal and we are still unwell, doesn't make sense.
Some GPs refuse to do anything at all because they don't understand Learning Disability and Mental Health.
Whatever you say to the GPs they respond to you as if you have gone mad.
They can even mistake us look as if we are lying.
Ok we may well guess but neither patients or GPs don't until they do the tests.30.8.2013
Good moments and bad moments.
One minute I feel happy and another minute I feel sad.
Everyday my mood changes through the day.
This happens to me whether I have reason to be happy or sad or not.
Most of the time worry about things that don't turn out to be that bad.
Some problems seem so big to me but so small to others.
People who don't have theses problems understand why I get as stressed as I do.
There many others like me I know. 30.8.2013
Enough is enough.
If only I didn't have anyone to leave behind upset.
It sounds ungrateful and selfish I know.
I am not ungrateful and selfish though.
I am a fighter i staying alive yet I get depressed very easy.
I will be honest say it feels as if life is too painful go on living at times.
Yet for all what's going on in the world these days there's nothing to live for.
As times get harder you don't have to suffer from depression to be depression life does that it's self.
The world it's self is suffering from depression like it was in the 1930s.
Depression is stressful and painful for all.
Why not let a bomb off to blow us up to heaven. 30.8.2013
I'd love to see myself as Mary Poplins.
Give me a broom
stick so I can fly so high up to the sky.
Take me up to heaven for me to look down to say goodbye to earth.
In heaven I could be happy and high.
Give me a lolly pop stick so I can jump up and down from heaven to earth like a Jack in the box.
I will fly around in the sky such a high with my kite on windy days and nights.
I will swim around the sky when it rains.
Oh yes those will be the days that will never ever end.
Am I thinking about Mary Hopkins or Mary Poppins.
There used to be happy days on earth but not anymore. 30.8.2013
What is wrong?
I felt unwell for no reason.
The headaches were too much.
I wasn't even drinking much if not at all that point but I felt as if I was.
The room was moving around as if I was on drink and drugs.
I could handy open my eyes if was as if I was blind but I wasn't going into sleep.
I was fully aware of what was going on around me.
Yet I was shaking and feeling dizzy but then I was still getting around.
Was it a sheer panic attack, fit or both.
I am unknown to whether not i have taking the right medication and dose for the past twelve years Lamotrigine 25mg and 50mg.
Now the side effects are just too much I have told my GP but she still tells me to carry on taking them. 31.8.2013
Side effects in my head.
Headaches and dizziness is due to my med.
Don’t tell me that my Anxiety and depression is all in my head caused by the med.
I have always had Anxiety and depression anyway even without the med.
Feeling sleepy and drowsy but not been able to sleep doesn't make sense in my head.
Feeling clumsy on my legs and not been able to do too many things at once which I have never been able to do anyway.
Up and down to the toilet like a jack in the box with stomach upset.
Feeling irritability and the thoughts of taking my own life gets worse.
It's only the people who love me and I love are keeping me here.
Eye movements raid and uncontrolled.
Dry mouth, over tired and not been able to sleep.
Pain in back and joints. 31.8.2013
Take me up to heaven for me to look down to say goodbye to earth.
In heaven I could be happy and high.
Give me a lolly pop stick so I can jump up and down from heaven to earth like a Jack in the box.
I will fly around in the sky such a high with my kite on windy days and nights.
I will swim around the sky when it rains.
Oh yes those will be the days that will never ever end.
Am I thinking about Mary Hopkins or Mary Poppins.
There used to be happy days on earth but not anymore. 30.8.2013
What is wrong?
I felt unwell for no reason.
The headaches were too much.
I wasn't even drinking much if not at all that point but I felt as if I was.
The room was moving around as if I was on drink and drugs.
I could handy open my eyes if was as if I was blind but I wasn't going into sleep.
I was fully aware of what was going on around me.
Yet I was shaking and feeling dizzy but then I was still getting around.
Was it a sheer panic attack, fit or both.
I am unknown to whether not i have taking the right medication and dose for the past twelve years Lamotrigine 25mg and 50mg.
Now the side effects are just too much I have told my GP but she still tells me to carry on taking them. 31.8.2013
Side effects in my head.
Headaches and dizziness is due to my med.
Don’t tell me that my Anxiety and depression is all in my head caused by the med.
I have always had Anxiety and depression anyway even without the med.
Feeling sleepy and drowsy but not been able to sleep doesn't make sense in my head.
Feeling clumsy on my legs and not been able to do too many things at once which I have never been able to do anyway.
Up and down to the toilet like a jack in the box with stomach upset.
Feeling irritability and the thoughts of taking my own life gets worse.
It's only the people who love me and I love are keeping me here.
Eye movements raid and uncontrolled.
Dry mouth, over tired and not been able to sleep.
Pain in back and joints. 31.8.2013
Feeling low.
Low in mood.
Feeling sad.
Low self-e stream.
No get up and go.
Feeling guilty about everything as if everything is my fault for what goes wrong in the world.
Feeling irritate and intolerant towards people or is all of this in my head?
No motivation or interest in anything I am interested in but I am trying to fight it through.
I find it hard to make decisions.
I find it hard to enjoy life whatever I do.
I find it hard to want to carry on living.
I feel anxious and worried whether I have a reason to be or not.
I keep having suicidal thoughts which I am trying to knock it on the head.
My mind is thinking 24.7.
I even keep falling out with myself in my head.
It's like everything is my fault so I tell myself off all the while. 30.8.2013
I've lost my mind.
I once had a mind which I have lost.
What are you going to tell me that that's in my head when thinks 24.7?
It's either not thinking straight, too much or very rarely not at all.
Inside me there's a feeling as if life isn't living.
I have no energy no get up and go.
Tomorrow I have to force myself to do the job I love doing which doesn't make sense.
Even writing my poetry is hard for me to keep interest in but it's my way of managing the thoughts and feelings that going through my mind. 1.9.2013
its probley not as bad as what it seems.
May be because I am not thinking straight nothing is as bad as what it seems.
I panic too quickly because I worry too easily.
There times I say things I don't mean cause nothing seems to make sense to me at the time when I feel I have something to about.
With Anxiety people can worry whether they have a reason to or not.
Anything is easy for others to say because Anxiety isn't part of them it's part of you.
The way some how someone with depression doesn't make sense too.
People tend to think that people with depression think they have all bad life that's not the case.
Depression is an condition that is hard control when feel down whether is a reason or not.
People think you are not grateful for the good things in life sadness is a feeling like happiness is a feeling.
You can't plain how you are going to feel one minute and one day to the next.
Depression is part of you like Anxiety is a part of you.
You can't say when you are going to feel sad and blue.
These things happen if and when they want to. 1.9.2013
Low in mood.
Feeling sad.
Low self-e stream.
No get up and go.
Feeling guilty about everything as if everything is my fault for what goes wrong in the world.
Feeling irritate and intolerant towards people or is all of this in my head?
No motivation or interest in anything I am interested in but I am trying to fight it through.
I find it hard to make decisions.
I find it hard to enjoy life whatever I do.
I find it hard to want to carry on living.
I feel anxious and worried whether I have a reason to be or not.
I keep having suicidal thoughts which I am trying to knock it on the head.
My mind is thinking 24.7.
I even keep falling out with myself in my head.
It's like everything is my fault so I tell myself off all the while. 30.8.2013
I've lost my mind.
I once had a mind which I have lost.
What are you going to tell me that that's in my head when thinks 24.7?
It's either not thinking straight, too much or very rarely not at all.
Inside me there's a feeling as if life isn't living.
I have no energy no get up and go.
Tomorrow I have to force myself to do the job I love doing which doesn't make sense.
Even writing my poetry is hard for me to keep interest in but it's my way of managing the thoughts and feelings that going through my mind. 1.9.2013
its probley not as bad as what it seems.
May be because I am not thinking straight nothing is as bad as what it seems.
I panic too quickly because I worry too easily.
There times I say things I don't mean cause nothing seems to make sense to me at the time when I feel I have something to about.
With Anxiety people can worry whether they have a reason to or not.
Anything is easy for others to say because Anxiety isn't part of them it's part of you.
The way some how someone with depression doesn't make sense too.
People tend to think that people with depression think they have all bad life that's not the case.
Depression is an condition that is hard control when feel down whether is a reason or not.
People think you are not grateful for the good things in life sadness is a feeling like happiness is a feeling.
You can't plain how you are going to feel one minute and one day to the next.
Depression is part of you like Anxiety is a part of you.
You can't say when you are going to feel sad and blue.
These things happen if and when they want to. 1.9.2013
Mountain out of a mole hill.
Fear can be what you see in your mind that makes you worry before or if anything happens.
Sometimes it turns out to be not as bad as what you worry and even fear.
It's too easy for people to misunderstand you for being ungrateful for the good things you have got.
Even people with Anxiety and depression are aware that the world isn't all black and white.
Just because the world isn't all black and white it doesn't mean we haven't got these conditions.
Just because you see smiles on our faces doesn't mean Anxiety and Depression isn't in us.
It's our condition makes us the way we are but we also control it the best we can.
Thoughts of taking our live is a feeling of sadness whether we do it or not is really unknown to us.
Some of us find it hard to cope with and some of us find it hard but we just about manage it.
This is why so many of us have thoughts of taking our lives some of us think we can't cope but we still manage it better than what we thought for others it's completely too much.
Never please judge us as if we are ungrateful people.
Anixety and Depression is a painful panic, worry, fear and sadness every day.
Sometimes we manage to show the feeling other times we don't. 1.9.2013
Winter is on it's way.
Fear can be what you see in your mind that makes you worry before or if anything happens.
Sometimes it turns out to be not as bad as what you worry and even fear.
It's too easy for people to misunderstand you for being ungrateful for the good things you have got.
Even people with Anxiety and depression are aware that the world isn't all black and white.
Just because the world isn't all black and white it doesn't mean we haven't got these conditions.
Just because you see smiles on our faces doesn't mean Anxiety and Depression isn't in us.
It's our condition makes us the way we are but we also control it the best we can.
Thoughts of taking our live is a feeling of sadness whether we do it or not is really unknown to us.
Some of us find it hard to cope with and some of us find it hard but we just about manage it.
This is why so many of us have thoughts of taking our lives some of us think we can't cope but we still manage it better than what we thought for others it's completely too much.
Never please judge us as if we are ungrateful people.
Anixety and Depression is a painful panic, worry, fear and sadness every day.
Sometimes we manage to show the feeling other times we don't. 1.9.2013
Winter is on it's way.
Summer has gone.
Winter is now on its way.
It's seems a long way until summer is back again.
When the snow is here the ice seems to be there forever.
There's something about you I really like.
You seem like the perfect lover like there's no other. 1997 - 2013
You let me say what's on my mind.
I will never leave you like the others have left me.
No love for me has ever lasted like this one.
This love will last with me and you.
None of us are getting any younger.
Without your love I feel so down.
Every day and night I miss you more and more.
You are my best friend as well as my lover there is no other.
You have helped me through pain of Anxiety and depression.
Now I need your love to move me more forward. 1997 – 2013
Words keep us together.
You change my world and life everyday with your world of words.
You jump from my mind to the pen to the paper to the computer.
You are here for the rest of my life.
You are poetry.
Words are said from my mind to month to pen to paper to computer
We will never have broken hearts.
I love you like you love me.
We will always be true to one another.1997 - 2013
You are there.
You are there through my pain and happiness.
You have been there when my heart has been broken.
You don't answer me back.
You won't judge on what I say and do in my life.
I know we will always be true to one another.
I know you will always love me like I love you.
We will be always in each other's hearts.
We will never ever part.
Most of the time romance is one big joke.
With your kiss I will get my wish to get things off my mind with you poetry.
I love and miss you in my arms. 1997 – 2013
You change my world and life everyday with your world of words.
You jump from my mind to the pen to the paper to the computer.
You are here for the rest of my life.
You are poetry.
Words are said from my mind to month to pen to paper to computer
We will never have broken hearts.
I love you like you love me.
We will always be true to one another.1997 - 2013
You are there.
You are there through my pain and happiness.
You have been there when my heart has been broken.
You don't answer me back.
You won't judge on what I say and do in my life.
I know we will always be true to one another.
I know you will always love me like I love you.
We will be always in each other's hearts.
We will never ever part.
Most of the time romance is one big joke.
With your kiss I will get my wish to get things off my mind with you poetry.
I love and miss you in my arms. 1997 – 2013
I love the sea.
I love the beach
and the sea.
The beach and
the sea is a romantic place to be.
I love the sun
shining and rising over the deep blue sea with a lovely yellow sun set.
I think it's the
place to be.
I love the
yellow sand; it's lovely to lovely make sand castles with children by the sea.
I saw the waves
of Mar-gate Sea on the beach rushing very loudly as the tide went in and out.
Even though the
weather was beautiful, sunny and the sky was blue, the waves of the sea were
crashing into the rocks and cliffs.
The seagulls
were flying very quickly as made a shrieking sound of a tone of language that
we humans don’t understand.
If only we knew
what the seagulls like all animals say to one another but then what business is
it of ours?
Is that
why animals speak in a language humans don’t understand?
So we don’t know
what they say to each other but they right away leave it to us to work out what
they say to us. 1997 – 2013
Your Choice.
My love is there
for you if you want it too.
I know how I
feel about you but it can only happen if you feel the same too.
I’m not perfect
like everyone I have my fault do you, we are all human beings.
There’s good and
bad in us all.
What I want to
do to be truly honest is bring happiness to you.
Show you a life
you have never seen before only because I love you for you.
Promises are so
easy to believe I know then many people let you down I know,
I may have my
faults but I don’t make promises I can’t keep, I have had too people do that to
me and relationships has been one of them.
I am not
prepared to put on you what I have been through before I met you.
I never want to
take my pain on you.
Trust and
believe is a hard thing I know I had that problem before I met you.
All lies and
broke promises causes you is pain.
I have believed
in so many men in my life who have let me down but now I believe in you.
Happiness is
here from me to you.
I am not going
to prove anything just to keep you but I know I have a lot of happiness to
offer; only you can decide.
I can’t force
feelings that don’t match to mine so don’t feel you have to do what you don’t
to do because I love you.
At times I may
seems tense which my faults when life gets me down, like you I get upset very
easily which can happen in different ways.
On the good side
of me I want to do what I can to make happiness a nice difference in your life
because I love you. 2.12.13
Dull moon.
I know it was a
dull start for us when we first started dating in the dull moon.
Now we must
believe that we have a bright start, underneath us must be a bright star.
Bring out the
bright stars.
Times were been
hard not chatting as much during the time you move but it will be worth the
wait when you are sorted.
I will be
thinking about and worrying about you having so much to think about.
As stressful as
it is now it will be good in the end, you are worth the wait.
New start new
life for both of us, I can’t wait but then you are worth the wait. 2.12.13
Take as much
time as you want and need.
Take as much
time you want and need, I will always love you.
I may well miss
you but I know you need to sort yourself out for you to make a new start.
I know you are
worth waiting for. 2.12.13
What has been my
life about?
Feelings have
been unknown for reasons why I have fallen for the men who I have loved who
weren’t right for me.
Now it doesn’t
make sense to make why I felt like I felt.
I thought at the
time they were right for me.
If only I knew
what they were going to put me thorough.
I made my
mistakes and I was in the wrong.
We are only
human but depends how many mistakes made and reasons behind them.
At the time the
world around you is blind, everyone else can see what you can’t.
Everyone is
right, you are wrong you don’t know it at the time.
You think you
know it all but you don’t, life is so unknown.
It’s just a
matter of any length of time before realize you were wrong and they were right.
Yet a time will
come you will love a person who is right for you, that’s what we all like to
believe.
Some of us are
lucky others aren't to love the person who is right for them.
Everyone’s turn
will happen one day to love the person who is right for them.
The world around
us is so unknown.
It’s all a never
ending circle asking yourself if you will love the love right for you.
We all say
there’s someone out there for someone but is there?
May there is but
not for everyone but then there is for everyone.
Is she right for
him?
Is he right for
her? 2.12.13
othing can
change how I feel about you.
I love you for
you.
I have so much
respect for you.
This is love
between me and you.
This love can
live with or without sex; loving one another is the main thing.
In time you’re
moving will keep you busy, I may not be chatting to you a lot but I won’t be
alone when my mind is nonstop thinking about you.
All the same at
the same time I have other parts of my life, my career, work, study, computer,
Kindle, I will send texts to you and write poetry about you. 2.12.13
Take me as I come or not at all.
Nothing is straight forward in this life for anyone.
No one can do anything right all the while, there's no perfect world.
The world would be boring if it was perfect and right so would people.
Life is full off ups and downs good and bad.
For what I have been through like a lot of people I have had to stay strong .
When I have a lot of things on my mind I don't feel very strong then things can seem worse to me than what they really are.
I mainly say things what I don't mean then I regret which is my worse fault of all which takes one to admit.
This can be due to my Anxiety but the no excuse at all shamely on mean words can just slip without me thinking, mainly when I am not thinking straight.
Despite of all my faults I am honest to admit them.
I will be honest to say when I love someone and I believe they love me like me and you I do what it takes to keep us together.
So many men have given up on me because I have been too soft on them but then it's taught me that I can't force someone to stay with me if they don't want to, now that someone is you.
I don't know how and why there's a feeling deep down side of me this time love is to be for you and me.
If our love is not to be when will I ever learn, will I ever get it right?
There's a feeling deep down inside that I have finely met the person who won't give on me like the others have and I won't give up on you either but take me as I am or not at all.
The choice is yours I won't give up on you if you don't give up me. 2.12.13
Nothing is straight forward in this life for anyone.
No one can do anything right all the while, there's no perfect world.
The world would be boring if it was perfect and right so would people.
Life is full off ups and downs good and bad.
For what I have been through like a lot of people I have had to stay strong .
When I have a lot of things on my mind I don't feel very strong then things can seem worse to me than what they really are.
I mainly say things what I don't mean then I regret which is my worse fault of all which takes one to admit.
This can be due to my Anxiety but the no excuse at all shamely on mean words can just slip without me thinking, mainly when I am not thinking straight.
Despite of all my faults I am honest to admit them.
I will be honest to say when I love someone and I believe they love me like me and you I do what it takes to keep us together.
So many men have given up on me because I have been too soft on them but then it's taught me that I can't force someone to stay with me if they don't want to, now that someone is you.
I don't know how and why there's a feeling deep down side of me this time love is to be for you and me.
If our love is not to be when will I ever learn, will I ever get it right?
There's a feeling deep down inside that I have finely met the person who won't give on me like the others have and I won't give up on you either but take me as I am or not at all.
The choice is yours I won't give up on you if you don't give up me. 2.12.13
Think about
what I said.
I know you have got a lot on the your mind right now but your future is still there with me if you want it to be.
Nothing ever be straight forward I know, it's impossible to be human and have magic wands.
There will be times that seem tense but we both know that stress gets to us easy.
I will do everything I can to give you happiness but most of the time we have to work hard to get there which can take a lot of time,
I believe I can make a big happy difference to your life because that's what I want to do.
I know you know there are others like yourself who won't get the chances to have an equal life as they possibly can.
For me being with you isn't out of pity but it is out of love.
I believe I can make you happy so now only you can believe it too.
Think about it and take it if you want and you believe I am right. 2.12.13
I know you have got a lot on the your mind right now but your future is still there with me if you want it to be.
Nothing ever be straight forward I know, it's impossible to be human and have magic wands.
There will be times that seem tense but we both know that stress gets to us easy.
I will do everything I can to give you happiness but most of the time we have to work hard to get there which can take a lot of time,
I believe I can make a big happy difference to your life because that's what I want to do.
I know you know there are others like yourself who won't get the chances to have an equal life as they possibly can.
For me being with you isn't out of pity but it is out of love.
I believe I can make you happy so now only you can believe it too.
Think about it and take it if you want and you believe I am right. 2.12.13
Where have you been all my life?
How my life has changed for the better since I have been with you.
I believe it can't get anymore better but it can't get worse.
Any change will be for the better.
Don't get me wrong I can never let you go now that I have got you.
I would never wish for a better man in my life than you.
I don't want to change a thing so you have no way of losing me unless you let me go yourself.
I believe nothing can get better than what it is between us.
Nothing can get worse I would be such a foal to let it go.
Nothing anyone in this life is perfect or straight forwards the same goes for us but we are strong.
We may have our ups and downs together but we never give up on each other.
This life is so new to me, although I have had past relationships I am not used to being treated so good like I am by you now,
All the same I am not prepared to let the life I have with you go, my love for you is far too strong to let you go.
My problem is that I am not used to be being treated so well but I am not letting you go either.
I love you far too much.
How my life has changed for the better since I have been with you.
I believe it can't get anymore better but it can't get worse.
Any change will be for the better.
Don't get me wrong I can never let you go now that I have got you.
I would never wish for a better man in my life than you.
I don't want to change a thing so you have no way of losing me unless you let me go yourself.
I believe nothing can get better than what it is between us.
Nothing can get worse I would be such a foal to let it go.
Nothing anyone in this life is perfect or straight forwards the same goes for us but we are strong.
We may have our ups and downs together but we never give up on each other.
This life is so new to me, although I have had past relationships I am not used to being treated so good like I am by you now,
All the same I am not prepared to let the life I have with you go, my love for you is far too strong to let you go.
My problem is that I am not used to be being treated so well but I am not letting you go either.
I love you far too much.
Being treated so
good is a new experience for me but no way do I want to have the old life I
used to have, why would I be so foolish to do that? 6.12.2013
you make my life better.
No matter what the weather is like you make my life better.
Whether other parts of my life are good, bad , happy or sad you make it better every time.
I miss you all the time you are nonstop on my mind all the time. 6.12.2013
You have turned my life around.
I am sure I have done right falling for you babe.
If only I knew the reason why but there doesn't need to be a reason why I love you.
Somehow someway the feeling I feel towards you feel right between us.
If only I knew why, what does it matter I love you so much?
Your nonstop on my mind.
Time doesn't seem to stop my mind. 6.12.2013
Life couldn't be better with you.
Life couldn't be better with you babe.
Nothing seems to be the same without you.
Life is a lot better than I ever excepted with you.
Whatever happens but don't spoil me too much!
Being treated so good by man as loving as you takes quite a bit of getting use to.
I know I have been hurt in the past and I don't want it again but better I was excepting but this to me is better than better.
You can't make me any happier babe but I would never refuse.
What I don't get I don't ask but what and if I get I am so happy to have. 6.12.2012
you make my life better.
No matter what the weather is like you make my life better.
Whether other parts of my life are good, bad , happy or sad you make it better every time.
I miss you all the time you are nonstop on my mind all the time. 6.12.2013
You have turned my life around.
I am sure I have done right falling for you babe.
If only I knew the reason why but there doesn't need to be a reason why I love you.
Somehow someway the feeling I feel towards you feel right between us.
If only I knew why, what does it matter I love you so much?
Your nonstop on my mind.
Time doesn't seem to stop my mind. 6.12.2013
Life couldn't be better with you.
Life couldn't be better with you babe.
Nothing seems to be the same without you.
Life is a lot better than I ever excepted with you.
Whatever happens but don't spoil me too much!
Being treated so good by man as loving as you takes quite a bit of getting use to.
I know I have been hurt in the past and I don't want it again but better I was excepting but this to me is better than better.
You can't make me any happier babe but I would never refuse.
What I don't get I don't ask but what and if I get I am so happy to have. 6.12.2012
don't care
what people say and think.
I don't care what people think and say.
They can think and or say what they want about us.
Just let them talk.
Just let them think.
Just let them give us strange looks as we walk hand in hand.
Disabitlies, speech problems and even looks they don't understand.
I love you so much, does there need to be a reason why I feel the way I do?
As it happens I just happen to feel the way I do, there should be no shame in me loving you.
Why should we feel ruled by people, it's lives if we feel for each other in the way we do.
People can think and say what they want.
I don't care about their thoughts because I love and care about you.
Let them talk.
Let them think.
We feel about each other the way we do, there's nothing we could do if we wanted to.
We wouldn't want to change our feelings for each other either.
There's nothing they can do to stop us from loving one another.
Neither of us can help our feelings for one another.
We couldn't block one another's feelings if we wanted to.
We don't want to block each other's feelings out, we just want to carry on loving one another. 6.12.2013
I don't care what people think and say.
They can think and or say what they want about us.
Just let them talk.
Just let them think.
Just let them give us strange looks as we walk hand in hand.
Disabitlies, speech problems and even looks they don't understand.
I love you so much, does there need to be a reason why I feel the way I do?
As it happens I just happen to feel the way I do, there should be no shame in me loving you.
Why should we feel ruled by people, it's lives if we feel for each other in the way we do.
People can think and say what they want.
I don't care about their thoughts because I love and care about you.
Let them talk.
Let them think.
We feel about each other the way we do, there's nothing we could do if we wanted to.
We wouldn't want to change our feelings for each other either.
There's nothing they can do to stop us from loving one another.
Neither of us can help our feelings for one another.
We couldn't block one another's feelings if we wanted to.
We don't want to block each other's feelings out, we just want to carry on loving one another. 6.12.2013
What was I
thinking?
Why did I let you be part of my life?
What a big mistake that was.
What was I thinking and what did I see in a man with your state of mind?
Why did I spend too much time with you?
I only thought I loved you little did I know you were going to treat me
so bad.
Everyone saw what was going on but I was so in love and blind.
Even though I have moved on in my life and I feel nothing for you the
pain is still there to bare.
Even
now I can't get rid of the painful past we had together even though we don't
see each other anymore.
I don't know why I am writing about
you, you have never seemed to care about me as much as I did about you, then
you made out you wanted me when I have been in love with someone else.
In the end I walked away when I
released I wasn't wanted.
Everything with you is just pretend
and mind games mainly when you have been drinking.
Last time you saw me I wondered what
I ever saw in you.
I must have been out of my mind.
I must have been so thick to put up
with you 13 and half years on and off.
I was so in love I was too blind to
see so I thought.
How foolish was I to let you treat me
as bad as you did as if it wasn't real, your not real. 6.12.2013
I'm real your not.
I'm real; I'm more than real than you
will ever be.
I'm a living human being.
You must have no feelings to hurt
mine.
If only you felt the same as me, you
wouldn't have hurt me if you did.
I don't even believe I knew you I
must have dream t you then you became my nightmare.
Are you out of your mind?
I must have been out of my mind to
have gone with you, like I said you were just in my mind.
Why did you hurt me knowing I loved
you so much?
Oh I forgot your not real, I didn't
know you and I didn't meet you.
It's always been in my mind.
You treated me as if I wasn't real.
You played mind games with my head.
You never knew whether you loved me
or not,
Was it because you were drunk, was it
you all along?
I even now I don't know I feel so
thick and blind.
You never seemed to know what you
wanted in life but I know now all along you didn't want me.
You just loved to play with my mind.
What a foal I was to let you play
with my mind.
I was also enough to give you so much
time.
When I saw you after 12 mouths you
looked in a bad state of mind.
You said hello but you never said
goodbye so why did you speak to me at all?
We just happened to see each other by
the same bus stop; there was no getting away until we were both off the bus.
It was through you I thought I lost
my ring off the person who I love now.6.12.2013
was never real.
Fancy see you after roughly 12 mouths.
Why decide to get help for your drinking now?
Why didn't you try to help yourself when we’re seeing me?
Were you so drunk and blind not to see that I loved you so therefore you treated me like dirt?
I was never real to fall for you in the first place but still I won't be the first and I won't be the last.
Isn't it strange that you dumped me yet you were the one that was drinking so heavy?
I guess you may blame me for driving you to drink, maybe I did without realizing it.
How I got myself involved with you I will never know, I can only think that I fell foolishly fell in love with you.
I must have been out of my mind at that time to fall for a man with such a poor state of mind. 6.12.13 - 7.12.2013
Fancy see you after roughly 12 mouths.
Why decide to get help for your drinking now?
Why didn't you try to help yourself when we’re seeing me?
Were you so drunk and blind not to see that I loved you so therefore you treated me like dirt?
I was never real to fall for you in the first place but still I won't be the first and I won't be the last.
Isn't it strange that you dumped me yet you were the one that was drinking so heavy?
I guess you may blame me for driving you to drink, maybe I did without realizing it.
How I got myself involved with you I will never know, I can only think that I fell foolishly fell in love with you.
I must have been out of my mind at that time to fall for a man with such a poor state of mind. 6.12.13 - 7.12.2013
The beach.
I saw the waves of Mar-gate Sea
rushing very loudly as the tide went in and out.
Even when the weather was beautiful,
sunny and the sky was blue, it was blowing hot and cool breeze as the sea
crashed into cliffs and rocks.
The seagulls were flying shrieking
very quickly as the sun and breeze change from hot to cold.
The seagulls were making a very
angrily nose as children shouting, screaming, laughing and crying as they were
building sandcastles in the sands.
The rides were too fast on the
dreamland fair grounds, which felt like been on a roller coaster.
Never eat candy floss before a ride
as you may feel dizzy and sick.
The smell of fish and chips you
couldn't miss. 7.12.2013
I carried on far too
long.
I carried on far too long I was in love far too long, which is my regret.
I should have seen you on your bike
sooner than I.
Even now I don't believe how I felt
about you but now it's you loss and it's my gain.
It seems as if your life has been a
loss since I have been out your life and even before then.
Losing your Mum, me then your job.
To think I once loved you so much,
you hurt me so much that in the end I felt myself breaking in half.
No I didn't break in half because I
am still on this earth to live my life in other ways as well as love.
I when you dumped me I felt as if I
was weak but then I was strong.
I thought my life was the end when I lost
you but it was the beginning of meeting someone new a lot better than you.
7.6.2013
Can't always be right.
If only I knew then what I know now.
I have finely seen the light at the
end of the tunnel and the wood between the trees.
I know I have to tell myself I am
only human and I am not a lone to have made mistakes.
Time to stop kicking myself up the
backside for the mistakes I have made, it's so dam easy to blame yourself for
mistakes other people have made to.
May be 2014 should be the year I
should move from the mistakes I have made.
When you realise what you have done
to others and yourself you punish yourself for life.
Somehow some way it all seems worse
than it propley is.
It's hard to accept nothing in time
life is straight forward.
Many of us tell ourselves off for
what we think in our minds.
It's like nothing turns out to what
you hope but that's life.
Many would say it's all just a dream and it's all in th e mind, what does it say for time?
Many of the hopes you have just seems
to be a dream turning into a nightmare.
Many mistakes we made didn't they
were dreams that feel real that just turned into nightmares.
You can create the future but not
change the past.
You can't put right what did wrong
but you just don't do again.
It's far easy to blame yourself
something your not to or only partly to blame.
Your human you can't do everything
right then you can't do everything wrong.
You wouldn't make mistakes if you
weren't human but as you are human you do.
Anyone who says they don't make
mistakes are lairs.
Stop blaming yourself and move on
even if you are to blame.
You are not alone in the world and
you are not alone to be wrong.
Move on and try again, again, again,
again, again until you finely get it right.
I know everyone can see what you
can't see that has been like me but you will see in the end. 7.6.2013
Mirror on the wall.
This house is and had it's day the
doors coming off it's hings, movements happen whether it's a windy day or not.
Everything is falling off the
shelves, services and dressing tablets without any reasons or and warnings.
Someone whose not here is here
there's nothing and no one to move about but moving around is going on, how odd
can this be?
Everything is moving when it's not,
I'm thinking this place is haunted.
I hear a smash for no reason or
warning as the mirror falls off the wall.
This wouldn't bring me seven years
bad luck would it as the mirror fell off the wall on it's own, as it smashes?
7.6.2013
You should never have left me.
You said you'd never leave me again
but you lied.
I should never have believe your
lies.
You promised me the earth I never got
it but not that I excepted it but why did you have to promise and lie?
I can't believe I let you mess up my
head for 13 and a half years on and off.
It was my silly fault for taking you
back if only I didn't love you so much.
Thank goodness I don't feel a thing
for you anymore even though you still haunt my mind.
Never mind it was a
last chance that you did blew it in seven years, even though I
shouldn't have took you back at the time I did tell you it was your last
chance, what a loser you am. 7.12.13
Time to look forward not back.
our time together will be like fire.
Our love burns up like two pices of
wood on a fire.
No stop in us once we start.
Every night I lye on my pillow
wondering when I will see you next.
I wake up in the in the morning it's
all become a dream that's all in my head.
In time I will put my head on your
shoulder then we get closer and closer.
I know I find it hard to explain
myself in a way that a lot of people understand.
My words aren't in talent and poems
just any old words coming out my head, I just say the words that my head
thinks. 7.12.2013
Life is too much to bare.
In one we learned the hard way but in other way we learned the easy way.
The same goes in today's world.
Life is made easy and hard with IT
meaning computers, mobile phones and etc.
Life becomes a hard nightmare when
you ring places up and it says on an answer press this for that and that for
this.
Back in the day we did't know what a
mobile was, we never thought twice to complain about walking miles to the
nearest red telephone boxes, which were either broken or you waited ages in a
quince.
There was always something great on
telly and social lives were great too now the telly is rubbish and the pubs are
dead.
There are advantages and
disadvantages about today and yesterday's generation which is mostly on the
internet.
There was so much hidden that we know
now today but not everything that goes on that we know about today's world.
How in my life time I have seen
things changed so much so have many of you who were born before and after me.
How I think I \can cope without or
should I say I used to be able to cope with the way life was yet now I am lost
without what I didn't have all those years ago. 16.10.2013
I can't work him out.
My Father has always been a very strange man.
He's never really been a man anyone
knows.
This is because he has a very strange
look out on life.
I know he loves me but I don't think
he knows how to be a Father.
I know he knows what the truth is but
then the truth hurts him.
The world is unknown before you come
into it.
No one can chose anything before they
get there and even we have no choice when we are there.
Most of all we can't chose who we are
born to. 19.12.2013
How can you say?
How can you say that love isn't to say your sorry when we are human, we can't do right all the while.
We can't please the people we love
all the while or and the people we think we love.
We are not made to be perfect, we
can't do everything right all the while, as good as it would be how boring
would it be?
No one can do right all the while:
there's only so much wrong we can do.
All the same where would I be without
you now with my head in the clouds?
Back in 1978 I saw my Mother and
Aunty crying and laughing at the same time with tears coming down their eyes
watching the film ' Love Story'.
I didn't understand why or what was
going on at the age of eight as I put the toilet roll on the coffee
table.
" Here you are you mad
pair."
Yet I had a music jewel box with the
' Love Story' tune I played again and again.
Many years later I brought the box
from the library " Love Story" by Erich Seal.
I not that I remember so I must read
the book again. 23,12.2013
Time to move on to the next chapter
in life.
You can only love so much.
You can only forgive so much.
Yet most relationships only last so
long many last too long.
There again some of us are luckier
than others.
Some happen shorter others happen
longer.
Others don't love at all.
It's all luck of the draw that's all.
Just like health and the way we live
is luck of the draw. 23.12.2013
You life was ending
round about the age my was starting in a different generation.
I may well be 100.00 younger
more or less.
At the age of twenty - seven I
thought I lost a love but in the end he lost me.
This broken love hurt me more than it
should have done.
In a different generation I was hurt
in the same way you was.
Yet you inspired me to get by in
poetry, I believe I wouldn't have got through this depression without you and
many other poets who inspired me like you did.
Just by walking along the
college library, I picked up your book not been aware what to except.
Despite
of being a writer I have been much of a reader but you inspired me so much
because what you had been through wasn't much different to what I was going
through at the time.
Despite
of having a nervous break down at the time over the love I thought I lost, I
still managed to get through my college as a English student.
If
only you could have lived to see the light at the end of the tunnel just like I
did in the end.
Yet
you left me such talent to full back on without even knowing it as a poet.
You
taught me so much about your short life just what put in your books.
It's
not a nice thing to say because it's so sad you died so young, at first I thought
your broken relationship had a lot to do with your death but I was so wrong.
You
were broken heated but sadly didn't live long enough to see away forward. 24.
12.2013
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