nd.You say black.
Misunderstanding.
You
have walked on me.
A bad feeling can happen whether there's a reason or not.
You can feel bad even when you know there's nothing to feel about bad about. You can feel as the world is looking at you and judging even if they are not.
You can feel alone even when you’re not.
You can feel worried even if you have nothing to worry about.
Stay strong which I know is easy to say, show the world despite of how you feel that you are alive.
You don't feel special but you are.
You feel like a bad person but you are a good person.
You jump from my mind to the pen to the paper to the computer.
You are here for the rest of my life.
You are poetry.
Words are said from my mind to month to pen to paper to computer
We will never have broken hearts.
I love you like you love me.
We will always be true to one another.1997 - 2013
Forget the rain and the clouds.
Forget the frost, fog, sleet and snow.
What about the green grass covered in daffodils?
What about a few green leaves on the trees?
What about being warm instead of cold?
What about the bright yellow sun in the deep blue sky?
If that was the case, may are we will be less depressed.
When Christmas is here life is a mess and come January, many people are in debt.
I say good bye to the bad things in life.
Take the easy way out, go to heaven.
I say hello to the good things in life, leave earth.
What here for us all?
Nothing but bad news.
Too much crime and the list go on.
Too many companies closing down, there's nothing for young people anymore.
I find it hard to see the good life.
Other than my boyfriend's friends, family and education that's my life.
I feel ashamed that I feel sad.
I think I have got more in life than I know about.
I have a boyfriend, family and friends.
I have a good education; I am not bullied like I was in school.
I know life does not live around me but most teenagers and people in their twenties don't have respect these days.
Manners have gone through the window.
People are getting off buses pushing into people.
No one seems to be polite anymore.
The government has given us far too many rules to cope with.
The only thing with my life is being disabled and wanting a job. December 2006
When I am walking outside I wish there were some magic powers to make me disappear up in heaven if there is any such name and place.
Please take me away from this depressing earth?
I would have wings on my arms and flippers on my feet, then up and away I would go.
What will be there for me? Who knows?
I want to run away and hide from the world
I want to say goodbye to earth.
I want to run away from the same old things everyday.
Find a place to hide and die.
If I carry on living in this world I won't be happy because it is depressing towards everyone. December 2006.
I look at the tall block of flats; I picture myself flying in the air.
If I am inside a high rise flat, the ground seems a long way down.
If I am waiting up stairs on the bus as the bus moves, I keep think I am going to fall down.
I don't know why I think I am falling down as I am going up.
The end of my life seems so far away, how much longer do I have to stay, I can't stand the pain as longer?
When I am going down, I know if I fall, I won't fall up, I will fall down. December 2006
When I feel down, I can't be bothered with anything at all.
I can feel down whether I have a reason to or not but not all the time.
I just want to get away from the four walls.
The end of my life seems so far away, how much longer do I have to stay?
I want to live to be old but only when I feel happy again. December 2006
Look at the cold, dull and gray sky that depresses us more!
In the winter the day turns to night far too early. Light turns to dark.
When I go out it's a long way to walk through those block of flats to the bus stop.
Those flats seem a long way when it's dark when I come back home at night.
There are very few street lights as you walk through the dark alleys where you turn right. December 2006
Everyone has good and bad days.
We all can feel down in the dumps at anytime.
We can feel happy anytime but at the moment I am feeling up and down through the day like most people with depression.
A lot of people would say it's all in people's head but you only have to have kind of tragedy and we are out of our minds.
I don't think people are surprised by that because stress kills more than thousands in the world. December 2006
You should not be lying in your coffin at such a young age.
You should be in a romantic wood.
We should be eating out in the sunshine and drinking wine together on a hot summer's day.
We should not be dead if your dead I am too.
There's handy any happiness in the world today.
I don't feel the joys of spring something is missing in my life mostly in winter weather. 20.11.2005
I say white.
No one is wrong or right.
No one is wrong or right.
The world is blind.
There's just a misunderstanding of one another's minds.
That misunderstanding can cause sadness that can take away ones' choice.
Ones' choice of been left out of the rest of the world.
You can do what you want safely without answering to anyone.
You don't feel useless.
You don't feel like hard work to other people.
Despite of the world been blind to me, I'm learning something new everyday.
May be I need more help to learn but I'm not blind in everything.
I still learn the same but different to you. 31.12.2011
That misunderstanding can cause sadness that can take away ones' choice.
Ones' choice of been left out of the rest of the world.
You can do what you want safely without answering to anyone.
You don't feel useless.
You don't feel like hard work to other people.
Despite of the world been blind to me, I'm learning something new everyday.
May be I need more help to learn but I'm not blind in everything.
I still learn the same but different to you. 31.12.2011
Misunderstanding.
Hello, are you there?
Am I speaking to a person?
Can you speak?
No reply, why?
This is never a human?
I can take a while to speak, it may take a while for me take in what you have just said.
Ok, you think I am rather strange.
You must be strange not to give me time to speak.
What are we on about, we have known one another all our lives?
We still can't communicate.
I know I'm your family member, we known one another since we were born.
We still don't know or understand one another. 31.12.2011
Am I speaking to a person?
Can you speak?
No reply, why?
This is never a human?
I can take a while to speak, it may take a while for me take in what you have just said.
Ok, you think I am rather strange.
You must be strange not to give me time to speak.
What are we on about, we have known one another all our lives?
We still can't communicate.
I know I'm your family member, we known one another since we were born.
We still don't know or understand one another. 31.12.2011
I am the path.
I am the sand.
I am the sea.
You walk on me or swim inside me.
I am your water to cool you down.
I'm in the middle, you are all round me.
Lying on me.
Standing on me.
You all make the world a bigger place than it seems to be.
You are all over crowding me.
I can't breath.
It's like I can't join or fit in.
You will make fun of me because I can't join in with you all. 31. 12 . 2011
I am the sand.
I am the sea.
You walk on me or swim inside me.
I am your water to cool you down.
I'm in the middle, you are all round me.
Lying on me.
Standing on me.
You all make the world a bigger place than it seems to be.
You are all over crowding me.
I can't breath.
It's like I can't join or fit in.
You will make fun of me because I can't join in with you all. 31. 12 . 2011
I will be on my
own.
I will be on my own.
My company isn't good enough for you.
I am hard work for you.
I need more help than other people.
When no one is there you're wondering why I'm alone.
When people are there you're wondering why they bother with me in case I am hard work for them.
With the limits of what I can do in my life it's as if I shouldn't have been born.
As if I shouldn't be on this earth.
As if life isn't worth living.
That's where your wrong when I have my creative talents.
What am I doing now?
I am putting my feelings in poetry and words. 31 . 12 . 2011
My company isn't good enough for you.
I am hard work for you.
I need more help than other people.
When no one is there you're wondering why I'm alone.
When people are there you're wondering why they bother with me in case I am hard work for them.
With the limits of what I can do in my life it's as if I shouldn't have been born.
As if I shouldn't be on this earth.
As if life isn't worth living.
That's where your wrong when I have my creative talents.
What am I doing now?
I am putting my feelings in poetry and words. 31 . 12 . 2011
Someone,
something is behind me.
Someone, something is behind me.
They are wanting me to move fast.
I’m trying to move in time to their
speed.
Something or someone that seems nasty
is getting closer and closer.
I am taking up their space.
Here I am made to feel useless and
guilty again. 31.12.2011
I’m
just me.
I’m no clever person but I am not thick
either.
I just write what’s going through my
mind.
I’m just me a human being like you.
I am no one special.
I have a career.
I have a life.
I cope alone but I still have the world
watching over me. 31. 12.2011
ILack
of communication.
It can be so hard to speak one's’ mind
when the right words don't come the mind, out the mouth.
The mind can be hard to control.
Being heard and understood can be two
different things.
There are times that no one takes the
time to listen to what the person is saying.
The voice needs to be heard.
You haven’t achieved what you were
hoping for me.
People make fun because you may not
have said what you were thinking.
You know what you mean even if people
don’t. 31.12.2011
’zombie
I am in a world of my own.
I am Zombie.
All I can see is crowds of people
crowding round me.
I feel like a puppet on a string.
Everyone seems to be having a good time
yet I seem to be missing what is going on.
No worries I will find my way alone
somehow.
I’m just in a dream world.
Where are the people I know, they have
seemed to have left and yet they seem millions of miles away.
Where do I go now?
Left, right or straight on.
There are too many people for me to
know.
Too much nose, too many people talking
at once.
The world is buzzing around.
I feel so over crowded by the world.
31.12.2011
mMirror
mind.
Mirror mind.
Mirror writing.
To me the world is upside down.
I see words upside down.
When look through the mirror I see an
upside down world.
I see writing upside down letters and
words.
I can see me mirror writing the world
of words.
Look at me!
Mirror writing, painting, drawing,
poetry and short stories.
We are just looking from darkness into
the light.
The future is hard to see because the
world had no money.
This could be bad enough for the next
generation.
31.12.2011 – 2.1.2012
I can fight this bad feeling whatever
it is.
A bad feeling can happen whether there's a reason or not.
You can feel bad even when you know there's nothing to feel about bad about. You can feel as the world is looking at you and judging even if they are not.
You can feel alone even when you’re not.
You can feel worried even if you have nothing to worry about.
Stay strong which I know is easy to say, show the world despite of how you feel that you are alive.
You don't feel special but you are.
You feel like a bad person but you are a good person.
Of course things will get better even though it doesn't seem that way.
just me.
The good is out there somewhere it's just
finding it.
It may not come for a long time to come but then quicker than you think
It will be better if you're patient enough to wait.
I know the bad is too easy to fear but the good is hard to think.
I guess I just accept too much without meaning to.
I know it's not easy to believe in ourselves even though we should.
Yet if we believe in ourselves we can believe in others.
If we learn to love ourselves we can love others. 9/12/2012-20.2.2015
It may not come for a long time to come but then quicker than you think
It will be better if you're patient enough to wait.
I know the bad is too easy to fear but the good is hard to think.
I guess I just accept too much without meaning to.
I know it's not easy to believe in ourselves even though we should.
Yet if we believe in ourselves we can believe in others.
If we learn to love ourselves we can love others. 9/12/2012-20.2.2015
Too scared to talk.
Finding it say it hard to say what one thinks in case others judge.
It may not be nice but it may be the truth.
One can be scared of the truth in a good way as well as a bad but then the truth isn't always what we want heard then we do, it's no good living in a lie.
Not wanting to hurt the feelings of others.
Finding it say it hard to say what one thinks in case others judge.
It may not be nice but it may be the truth.
One can be scared of the truth in a good way as well as a bad but then the truth isn't always what we want heard then we do, it's no good living in a lie.
Not wanting to hurt the feelings of others.
Not wanting to full out with others because
they can’t agree with you and you can’t agree with them.
Everyone has the rights of their own views.
Not everyone gets along: not everyone
doesn’t get along.
Right or wrong you can't make feelings go away until feelings want to.
We all make mistakes but not all are mistakes.
It's what we say and do what matters: thinking is thoughts not words. 9. 12. 2012
Right or wrong you can't make feelings go away until feelings want to.
We all make mistakes but not all are mistakes.
It's what we say and do what matters: thinking is thoughts not words. 9. 12. 2012
Understanding people.
The only people who understand we is we.
Freedom is important we without knowing it we control one another.
We are looked at as strange from strangers as if we have masks to cover as faces.
We are looked at as if we are wrong all the while.
We are looked as if we are not human.
We looked at if we are nuts and out of our minds all the time.
There's a fear if we are watched all the time.
What we do and say isn't wrong all the time.
People may fear in case they are misunderstood. 9.12.2012
The only people who understand we is we.
Freedom is important we without knowing it we control one another.
We are looked at as strange from strangers as if we have masks to cover as faces.
We are looked at as if we are wrong all the while.
We are looked as if we are not human.
We looked at if we are nuts and out of our minds all the time.
There's a fear if we are watched all the time.
What we do and say isn't wrong all the time.
People may fear in case they are misunderstood. 9.12.2012
Different kinds of Autism.
Some people with Autism find social imagination
hard.
Doesn't seem to know how to play with toys.
Doesn't seem to know how to play with toys.
Is attached to one particular toy or object.
Excessively lines up toys or other objects
Repetitive behaviours or interests, which cause children
with Autism to not have any interest or learning ability in the world around
them.
ASD is defined by a certain set of behaviours that can
range from the very mild to the severe.
Some Other Signs
Poor eye contact
At times seems to be hearing impaired
Physically disabled
Mentally Disabled.
Which is odd because physical disabilities shown
on the whole.
I was born with lack of oxygen to the brain,
Autism can happen, before during and after birth. Wednesday, 2 January 2013
I was born with lack of oxygen to the brain,
Autism can happen, before during and after birth. Wednesday, 2 January 2013
Fits.
My body is like a machine as I get
electric shocks in my knees and legs.
That’s when a get a headache, sometimes
I got dizzy and then I start to shake.
Time to lye down to rest my aching
head.
Let the turn carry on till I sleep.
Yet I am aware what’s going on around
me but I am feeling unwell.
I am confused whether it’s fits,
Anxiety attacks or even both yet they very rarely happen.
In the mean time it’s like electric
wires coming in and out my head like blowing fuses.
This could be caused by worry and
stress or even hot and cold weather.
The cold spells tend to cause me
dizziness.
Loud sounds can make me shake and jump.
2.6.2012
Looking through the mirror.
Without knowing what
to except to read inside was John Keats's poetry, whose picture I saw on the
cover of the book.
When I read his work
which was hard to understand at first but then I read what he
had been through at that time was no different to what I had been going
through when I read
his work.
Even by looking at
his picture he looked how I felt at the time.
I read Keats’s work
with not excepting what to read the fact
he was going through the same as me inspire me so much to write poetry.
It was then I
realised I wasn't alone, it helped me so much with coming to terms with my
broken relationship more so than crying, then I realised I wasn't alone.
21.5.2012
It
was a dark time.
Back in 1997, I drank heavy thinking
the pain would go away but I found the problems were still there the next
morning.
Every time I drank the night before it
would numb the pain.
Loneliness seemed to have got worse day
by day until I started writing poetry.
I couldn't see the wood between the
trees, I felt so weak and depressed.
Twelve mouths seemed to have last
forever even I didn't know how long it was going to take me to come to terms
with the breakup of the relationship.
When I started writing poetry I
realised I wasn't alone after been inspired by John Keats’s work. 21.5.2012
The
character.
What do you see when you look at me?
Why did you make me?
Would you agree there's a character in me?
Why did you bring this disabled world to me?
Thank you god for making me.
Am I the human being you wanted me to be?
What are you seeing and thinking when you look down from heaven to earth at me?
You see a human being who is not very wise.
How can you see me god with those far away eyes?
As a human being I am sitting here still.
I'm human baby, child and teenager inside an adult who used to dribble her food and make no reply.
You look down from heaven to earth in a loud voice saying I wish she'd try.
Did you ever you used to notice the things I used to do like losing a sock and shoe?
Did you notice the things my family used to do like feeding and bathing me all the days through?
Do you still see he baby in me? Late 20th to early 21st century.
Why did you make me?
Would you agree there's a character in me?
Why did you bring this disabled world to me?
Thank you god for making me.
Am I the human being you wanted me to be?
What are you seeing and thinking when you look down from heaven to earth at me?
You see a human being who is not very wise.
How can you see me god with those far away eyes?
As a human being I am sitting here still.
I'm human baby, child and teenager inside an adult who used to dribble her food and make no reply.
You look down from heaven to earth in a loud voice saying I wish she'd try.
Did you ever you used to notice the things I used to do like losing a sock and shoe?
Did you notice the things my family used to do like feeding and bathing me all the days through?
Do you still see he baby in me? Late 20th to early 21st century.
I’m human like everyone.
If you open your eyes god I'm a disabled person who has or should
the rights to live my life the same as other people and that's the same for
other disabled people too.
I will tell you as the human being sitting here all through my childhood I could not see a brother and sister with me.
It was the beginning of my teenage years when my baby sister came to me.
No sign of my Father until I was twenty - one all my family were there for me from birth.
I will tell you as the human being sitting here all through my childhood I could not see a brother and sister with me.
It was the beginning of my teenage years when my baby sister came to me.
No sign of my Father until I was twenty - one all my family were there for me from birth.
When I was a young girl of sixteen I
used to dream of wings underneath my feet dreaming of the man I'd marry, how
wrong was I to think such a thing. I was just too blind to see but what will
be. Never say never there's still time for me but I have also learned not to
build my hopes up you see.
When I was twenty - eight I thought my
life was over I thought it was too late, even though I was in love with a man
who wasn't right for me.
I may go through pain in my life like everyone else but I pick myself up and move on. Late 20th to early 21st century
I may go through pain in my life like everyone else but I pick myself up and move on. Late 20th to early 21st century
Time.
I believe there's always someone for someone.
Only you god can tell me what my future is to be.
When I was a young woman of thirty I thought I'd live a normal life to be.
I though by the age of thirty I'd be rearing young of my own but now I have seen the world today it's not a safe world for children to be.
Being disabled is stopping rearing children like everyone else I just needed the support that was all.
Only you god can tell me what my future is to be.
When I was a young woman of thirty I thought I'd live a normal life to be.
I though by the age of thirty I'd be rearing young of my own but now I have seen the world today it's not a safe world for children to be.
Being disabled is stopping rearing children like everyone else I just needed the support that was all.
Not everyone is lucky to have their
dream home and lover to be which has taught me not to live in fairly tale land
to be.
I must say it would be nice to be with a gentleman who will bond with me to love forever endlessly.
I must say it would be nice to be with a gentleman who will bond with me to love forever endlessly.
Now I am nearly forty the years are
rolling fast.
I have walked out on one man who was not meant to last with me but now I have learned to see what happens when tomorrow's door opens.
I have walked out on one man who was not meant to last with me but now I have learned to see what happens when tomorrow's door opens.
Who knows where I will be when I am
fifty, will there be the man for me? Late 20th – early 21st century.
What’Words
keep us together.
You
change my world and life everyday with your world of words.You jump from my mind to the pen to the paper to the computer.
You are here for the rest of my life.
You are poetry.
Words are said from my mind to month to pen to paper to computer
We will never have broken hearts.
I love you like you love me.
We will always be true to one another.1997 - 2013
s lifLife doesn't seem worth living.
Forget the rain and the clouds.
Forget the frost, fog, sleet and snow.
What about the green grass covered in daffodils?
What about a few green leaves on the trees?
What about being warm instead of cold?
What about the bright yellow sun in the deep blue sky?
If that was the case, may are we will be less depressed.
When Christmas is here life is a mess and come January, many people are in debt.
That's when life is not at its best. December 2006e
all about?
My dark future Say goodbye to life.
I say good bye to the bad things in life.
Take the easy way out, go to heaven.
I say hello to the good things in life, leave earth.
What here for us all?
Nothing but bad news.
Too much crime and the list go on.
Too many companies closing down, there's nothing for young people anymore.
I find it hard to see the good life.
Other than my boyfriend's friends, family and education that's my life.
Society is depressing but may be there is a way forward one day. December 2006will be upon me so I will now try to live my life
without regret.
I don't think I have anything to get upset
about.
Some how I feel low but I wish I knew the reason why.
I also feel very upset and angry.
I feel as if I don't want to live anymore.
I might be just depressed.
Whatever it is I will find a way to get over it but I am not sure how to other than writing poetry.
I feel as if I want to disappear into another world.
I just want to die and never come back.
I don't want help.
I just want to cope on my own.
I wish I could be happy again.
It's hard to see what will happen next. December 2006
Some how I feel low but I wish I knew the reason why.
I also feel very upset and angry.
I feel as if I don't want to live anymore.
I might be just depressed.
Whatever it is I will find a way to get over it but I am not sure how to other than writing poetry.
I feel as if I want to disappear into another world.
I just want to die and never come back.
I don't want help.
I just want to cope on my own.
I wish I could be happy again.
It's hard to see what will happen next. December 2006
Loneliness an
How do we explain?
People say it's all in our minds.
We should snap out of it.
We would if we were not being feeling like we do.
Yes I have a reason to give, the world, government and society.
There have many times I felt low for no reason, that's the same for other people too.
I have cried not knowing I have been crying for.
In the end I have felt foolish and guilty but then when tears catch your eye that’s what you can't control. December 2006
People say it's all in our minds.
We should snap out of it.
We would if we were not being feeling like we do.
Yes I have a reason to give, the world, government and society.
There have many times I felt low for no reason, that's the same for other people too.
I have cried not knowing I have been crying for.
In the end I have felt foolish and guilty but then when tears catch your eye that’s what you can't control. December 2006
why do I feel?
Why do I feel I don't want to eat a lot?
Why do I feel as if I don't want to go to bed?
Why do I wake up just any time when I do sleep?
I have no job and not much money and no where to go other to see the man I love.
If I can just about get some kind of work and a little pay, I'd be ok.
I am still on earth; I don't think I will be happy until the day I die.
I want die young and in peace. December 2006
Why do I feel I don't want to eat a lot?
Why do I feel as if I don't want to go to bed?
Why do I wake up just any time when I do sleep?
I have no job and not much money and no where to go other to see the man I love.
If I can just about get some kind of work and a little pay, I'd be ok.
I am still on earth; I don't think I will be happy until the day I die.
I want die young and in peace. December 2006
d old age will give me so much to dread.
While I'm still young enough I will enjoy the life I have yet.
Old age will nWhat's the matter with me?
While I'm still young enough I will enjoy the life I have yet.
Old age will nWhat's the matter with me?
I feel ashamed that I feel sad.
I think I have got more in life than I know about.
I have a boyfriend, family and friends.
I have a good education; I am not bullied like I was in school.
I know life does not live around me but most teenagers and people in their twenties don't have respect these days.
Manners have gone through the window.
People are getting off buses pushing into people.
No one seems to be polite anymore.
The government has given us far too many rules to cope with.
The only thing with my life is being disabled and wanting a job. December 2006
ot make a fool out of me, if that was so what a sad character I
would be.
I don't expect people to feel sorry for me, old or young I I wish there was a way to disappear.
I don't expect people to feel sorry for me, old or young I I wish there was a way to disappear.
When I am walking outside I wish there were some magic powers to make me disappear up in heaven if there is any such name and place.
Please take me away from this depressing earth?
I would have wings on my arms and flippers on my feet, then up and away I would go.
What will be there for me? Who knows?
I want to run away and hide from the world
I want to say goodbye to earth.
I want to run away from the same old things everyday.
Find a place to hide and die.
If I carry on living in this world I won't be happy because it is depressing towards everyone. December 2006.
must enjoy life
while I am here.
I want my peaceful body crumbled away with happiness and grace but no pain.
Now and again I will look down from heaven to earth to see the people I leave behind who I remember well.It drives me mad.
I want my peaceful body crumbled away with happiness and grace but no pain.
Now and again I will look down from heaven to earth to see the people I leave behind who I remember well.It drives me mad.
I look at the tall block of flats; I picture myself flying in the air.
If I am inside a high rise flat, the ground seems a long way down.
If I am waiting up stairs on the bus as the bus moves, I keep think I am going to fall down.
I don't know why I think I am falling down as I am going up.
The end of my life seems so far away, how much longer do I have to stay, I can't stand the pain as longer?
When I am going down, I know if I fall, I won't fall up, I will fall down. December 2006
You must accept the fact that we can't live forever.
So open yoWhen I feel down.
So open yoWhen I feel down.
When I feel down, I can't be bothered with anything at all.
I can feel down whether I have a reason to or not but not all the time.
I just want to get away from the four walls.
The end of my life seems so far away, how much longer do I have to stay?
I want to live to be old but only when I feel happy again. December 2006
ur eyes god open and see, under that disabled person is an able human
being and she is a winter time.
Look at the cold, dull and gray sky that depresses us more!
In the winter the day turns to night far too early. Light turns to dark.
When I go out it's a long way to walk through those block of flats to the bus stop.
Those flats seem a long way when it's dark when I come back home at night.
There are very few street lights as you walk through the dark alleys where you turn right. December 2006
real character in me.
I will still write short stories, novel, play and romantic pIt feels as if it's there for life.
I will still write short stories, novel, play and romantic pIt feels as if it's there for life.
Everyone has good and bad days.
We all can feel down in the dumps at anytime.
We can feel happy anytime but at the moment I am feeling up and down through the day like most people with depression.
A lot of people would say it's all in people's head but you only have to have kind of tragedy and we are out of our minds.
I don't think people are surprised by that because stress kills more than thousands in the world. December 2006
oetry. Late 20th century to early 21st century.
What is life like now?
I am sitting in my living room looking through my window; the sky is half blue and half white.
It's an early Monday afternoon but it is a Bank holiday that does not feel like a Bank holiday.
There's hardy anyone about outside.
How strange is that?
You may say why don't you get out?
I will tonight.
I have hardy any money to spend.
I am not asking for the world but it would be nice to have a little bit more money in my pocket.
Jobs are not easy to find these days.
There are far too many people unemployed, which cause people to go through depression.
No spaces, not enough exams, too many exams, not enough training, too much training, age, disability, place closing down and many more reasons. December 2006
I am sitting in my living room looking through my window; the sky is half blue and half white.
It's an early Monday afternoon but it is a Bank holiday that does not feel like a Bank holiday.
There's hardy anyone about outside.
How strange is that?
You may say why don't you get out?
I will tonight.
I have hardy any money to spend.
I am not asking for the world but it would be nice to have a little bit more money in my pocket.
Jobs are not easy to find these days.
There are far too many people unemployed, which cause people to go through depression.
No spaces, not enough exams, too many exams, not enough training, too much training, age, disability, place closing down and many more reasons. December 2006
I can't see.
I can't see any further than my nose.
I think it's a big long road.
I can't take that big long road; it's far too far for me to walk to see what is there.
I am just scared what will happen when I get there.
I want to get of here before I get there, I can't see myself getting to the end of the road.
So high, when I look up I feel as if I want to fly.
Yet I would be too scared to fly going up high.
I don't know if I would feel strong enough to come back down again.
I don't like the thought of going up high unless I am in a plane.
I don't like seeing thought.
I don't know what I will see when I get there.
Will I go left, right or straight on?
I don't know where to turn.
I am too scared to try so I want to cruel into a hole to die.
The sky seems high rise flats by where I live.
I keep thinking that someone is going to fall out of them.
I keep thinking that they are all going to fall down. December 2006
I can't see any further than my nose.
I think it's a big long road.
I can't take that big long road; it's far too far for me to walk to see what is there.
I am just scared what will happen when I get there.
I want to get of here before I get there, I can't see myself getting to the end of the road.
So high, when I look up I feel as if I want to fly.
Yet I would be too scared to fly going up high.
I don't know if I would feel strong enough to come back down again.
I don't like the thought of going up high unless I am in a plane.
I don't like seeing thought.
I don't know what I will see when I get there.
Will I go left, right or straight on?
I don't know where to turn.
I am too scared to try so I want to cruel into a hole to die.
The sky seems high rise flats by where I live.
I keep thinking that someone is going to fall out of them.
I keep thinking that they are all going to fall down. December 2006
A lot of people say.
A lot of people find and see poetry boring.
Poetry is only boring if the poet makes it boring.
Mind you I feel bad to say that I have an over loaded mind and it just gets down on paper.
A lot of us poets may write words of sadness but words of truth.
I write words of happiness and sadness.
Most words of happiness are the truth but very little.
When it comes to that it makes us wonder why we are here in the first place.
Most poets, people who write plays, People who write novels and other writers find it hard to let their feeling out in any other way other than write.
Writing is not always easy to put into words but then people can't answer you back.
It does not mean you can't be a writer if you find words hard to write on paper, just say what's going through your mind and write it.
Writing is from the mind not art.
Everyone has a book in them because we live life.
I need to research to give me ideas what to write about.
If your mind is full ideas, write them down.
You can keep at it until you get there; I am still working on it now.
I have been writing for 13 years.
Some people express themselves in painting and drawing, which I do sometimes, that's art. December 2006
A lot of people find and see poetry boring.
Poetry is only boring if the poet makes it boring.
Mind you I feel bad to say that I have an over loaded mind and it just gets down on paper.
A lot of us poets may write words of sadness but words of truth.
I write words of happiness and sadness.
Most words of happiness are the truth but very little.
When it comes to that it makes us wonder why we are here in the first place.
Most poets, people who write plays, People who write novels and other writers find it hard to let their feeling out in any other way other than write.
Writing is not always easy to put into words but then people can't answer you back.
It does not mean you can't be a writer if you find words hard to write on paper, just say what's going through your mind and write it.
Writing is from the mind not art.
Everyone has a book in them because we live life.
I need to research to give me ideas what to write about.
If your mind is full ideas, write them down.
You can keep at it until you get there; I am still working on it now.
I have been writing for 13 years.
Some people express themselves in painting and drawing, which I do sometimes, that's art. December 2006
The great thing about poetry.
The great thing about poetry is that you can say what you mean.
You can also say what you don't mean as long as you tell your readers you don't mean it.
Mostly you can cay how you feel.
Poets should make things understood so readers can read bet ween the lines what the poets say and mean.
Sometimes some things are hard to think about when it comes to thinking about a subject.
Think about what to write: what not to write.
The great thing about poetry is that you can say what you mean.
You can also say what you don't mean as long as you tell your readers you don't mean it.
Mostly you can cay how you feel.
Poets should make things understood so readers can read bet ween the lines what the poets say and mean.
Sometimes some things are hard to think about when it comes to thinking about a subject.
Think about what to write: what not to write.
Learn off other poets but not too much, be yourself because we all live so we
have a book inside ourselves. December 2006
There are good times and bad.
Today I don't feel too bad.
Tomorrow I may feel down.
Sorry, I must say I will never know.
The good thing is that I am eating a meal; I can smell cottage pie and veg.
When I am low, I don't eat that much.
It makes a big difference when I see people.
I saw my best friend today that's good.
I just wish I would not take my stress out on my lover; he is also my best friend.
May be when I get work one day, I can save up for getting my work published and new clothes.
I will still enjoy my social life all the same.
I can't have everything.
We want difference things but can't have everything as we haven't got it. December 2006
Today I don't feel too bad.
Tomorrow I may feel down.
Sorry, I must say I will never know.
The good thing is that I am eating a meal; I can smell cottage pie and veg.
When I am low, I don't eat that much.
It makes a big difference when I see people.
I saw my best friend today that's good.
I just wish I would not take my stress out on my lover; he is also my best friend.
May be when I get work one day, I can save up for getting my work published and new clothes.
I will still enjoy my social life all the same.
I can't have everything.
We want difference things but can't have everything as we haven't got it. December 2006
•How unkind life can be.
You should not be lying in your coffin at such a young age.
You should be in a romantic wood.
We should be eating out in the sunshine and drinking wine together on a hot summer's day.
We should not be dead if your dead I am too.
There's handy any happiness in the world today.
I don't feel the joys of spring something is missing in my life mostly in winter weather. 20.11.2005
I
find it hard to stop writing poetry.
Now I
find it hard to stop writing poetry as my feelings are uncontrolled.
Believe me that man was not as special
as I made him out to be in this poem, I only thought he was. How blind was he
not to understand how much I loved him but how blind was I to not understand
that he did not really love me? Then we may have just loved one another as much
as we could. We were both blind in our ways in our minds.1997-2015
What happens?
What is it like to be in the world of
heaven?
Do you have less stress than we do on earth?
There's no perfect world with no problems at all so may be there are no two worlds heaven and earth.
Does your skin turn into bone?
Do you feel anything at all?
How on earth do people know?
Once you have gone, you have gone.
We never hear your voice again.
Are you ghosts really around or are you just nightmare fairy tales?
Are you really moving around?
I guess these questions are hard to answer.30.12.200 - 1.6.2004
Do you have less stress than we do on earth?
There's no perfect world with no problems at all so may be there are no two worlds heaven and earth.
Does your skin turn into bone?
Do you feel anything at all?
How on earth do people know?
Once you have gone, you have gone.
We never hear your voice again.
Are you ghosts really around or are you just nightmare fairy tales?
Are you really moving around?
I guess these questions are hard to answer.30.12.200 - 1.6.2004
Any way forward.
It all seems so dark.
It's hard to know what is going to happen without you.
It's hard to believe you have gone fifteen years, it's hard believe you have gone at all.
It's hard to believe that you are never coming back to give more music.
I grew up watching you sing; those happy memories have not gone.
I remember watching on Live Aid when I was fifteen years old.
I even used to hope that I'd meet you one day but no chance of that Freddie Mercury.
Now it's far too late for all that.
Never mind not everything goes everyone's way. 2003 - 2006
It all seems so dark.
It's hard to know what is going to happen without you.
It's hard to believe you have gone fifteen years, it's hard believe you have gone at all.
It's hard to believe that you are never coming back to give more music.
I grew up watching you sing; those happy memories have not gone.
I remember watching on Live Aid when I was fifteen years old.
I even used to hope that I'd meet you one day but no chance of that Freddie Mercury.
Now it's far too late for all that.
Never mind not everything goes everyone's way. 2003 - 2006
Why
you?
I could not believe
it when you had gone but let's believe your spirit is still here!
The night I found out the world had lost you; I cried my eyes out in my bedroom all night long.
Your art and music still lives on.
Nearly fifteen years on and even now the news has not sunk in. 2003 - 2006.
The night I found out the world had lost you; I cried my eyes out in my bedroom all night long.
Your art and music still lives on.
Nearly fifteen years on and even now the news has not sunk in. 2003 - 2006.
I
see no way forward.
Not seeing the world again to get away
from pain is how I feel.
I don't feel very strong at all, there
doe not see to be an end to all this but there must be an end to pain somewhere
and somehow.
Surly I can't keep on feeling depressed
like this, there's got to be light at the end of the tunnel somewhere.
All I do is write pages and pages of
romantic poetry about you, it shows how mad and crazy I am about you which
makes me mad and crazy when you don't feel the same about me.
How strange is that?
I feel ashamed to love someone who does
not love me but my feelings have so much control over me.
There must be someone better out who
loves me for me but I find it hard to believe that I will love him because
foolishly my feelings are still with you.
I must love the wrong man, what is it
about love it just blinds you?
Now you have gone, I must move on I
must carry on without you.
It's hard to do because I miss you so
true.
Everywhere I stand I see lovers kissing
and hugging everyday.
They must think I have lost my mind. 1997.
If there’s a god where is he?
Have you ever seen god or a god?
If yes is the case, do you get on with him?
Is god the boss of heaven?
Should we believe in him or not?
Will he send you to hell if you do badly but heaven if you do well?
Do we really need help from god or do we help ourselves?
Is god the boss of heaven? 6.1.2004
If yes is the case, do you get on with him?
Is god the boss of heaven?
Should we believe in him or not?
Will he send you to hell if you do badly but heaven if you do well?
Do we really need help from god or do we help ourselves?
Is god the boss of heaven? 6.1.2004
Wondering minds.
It must be lovely to sleep and never wake up.
It is death forever sleeping.
May be you can't sleep at all.
May be you live the same life in heaven as you did on earth work, sleep and social life.
It's just like a dark tunnel, you feel trapped and you must get out.
Do you feel things or not?
Do you get some sleep and wake up? 6.1.2004
What’s the weather like in heaven?It must be lovely to sleep and never wake up.
It is death forever sleeping.
May be you can't sleep at all.
May be you live the same life in heaven as you did on earth work, sleep and social life.
It's just like a dark tunnel, you feel trapped and you must get out.
Do you feel things or not?
Do you get some sleep and wake up? 6.1.2004
Does it get cold in
heaven?
Does it get hot in heaven?
Can it go hot and cold in heaven like it does on earth?
Does it all stay the same?
Do you have snow?
Do you have rain?
Does it change?
May be for people in heaven life stays the same. Is there a future in heaven; is there any life at all?
May be only if there is past and a present. 2003 – 2006
Does it get hot in heaven?
Can it go hot and cold in heaven like it does on earth?
Does it all stay the same?
Do you have snow?
Do you have rain?
Does it change?
May be for people in heaven life stays the same. Is there a future in heaven; is there any life at all?
May be only if there is past and a present. 2003 – 2006
Princess Die.
Die you were too young to die.
You were the people's friend until the end, in our eyes you still are and always will be.
You helped children so much.
You loved your children William and Harry.
Why did Charles hurt you so much?
You were one in a million as a person and the reward for the work you had done.
Society was so did not know who it lost until it lost you.
I can take or leave royally but I don't understand why most people hated you so much.
Naturally your sons loved you so much.
Your death must have left them with so much sadness.
You must be very much missed by them with the love of your sons. 26.5.2002
Die you were too young to die.
You were the people's friend until the end, in our eyes you still are and always will be.
You helped children so much.
You loved your children William and Harry.
Why did Charles hurt you so much?
You were one in a million as a person and the reward for the work you had done.
Society was so did not know who it lost until it lost you.
I can take or leave royally but I don't understand why most people hated you so much.
Naturally your sons loved you so much.
Your death must have left them with so much sadness.
You must be very much missed by them with the love of your sons. 26.5.2002
Disability people's ability.
It can be very hard
when disabilities are not seen.
Only because a person and walk and talk, it does not mean that they have not got a disability.
It is really up to the people with disabilities to tell people they have disabilities.
People must learn to understand if people disabilities don't anything and you think something is wrong.
Have you ever thought that even now there are people that turn a blind at people with disabilities, people with disabilities may feel scared, embarrassed and even ashamed to say so?
How would you feel if you were us?
We should not be made to feel that way but in some cases of our lives society still see us as hard work and completely useless.
Only because a person and walk and talk, it does not mean that they have not got a disability.
It is really up to the people with disabilities to tell people they have disabilities.
People must learn to understand if people disabilities don't anything and you think something is wrong.
Have you ever thought that even now there are people that turn a blind at people with disabilities, people with disabilities may feel scared, embarrassed and even ashamed to say so?
How would you feel if you were us?
We should not be made to feel that way but in some cases of our lives society still see us as hard work and completely useless.
Why doesn't society
look at the strong parts of people with disabilities and give us a chance to
bring what comes easy to us to life!
Society should let us believe in us as human beings.
They would not like if people were saying they could not do this, that and other. 18.7.2005
Society should let us believe in us as human beings.
They would not like if people were saying they could not do this, that and other. 18.7.2005
CLEVER YOU. .
What a shocking way to start the 21st century for us, which is not so clever.
Now it's rest and peace forever for you.
The novel is in memory of you that are written by you it is very hard to find.
It was such a shame you could not write more books.
I may know how to write but not as well as you.
I had a book for my birthday called “HOW TO WRITE FOR A MILLION."
Learning about writing I am more interested in than the money, I will study it through.
Never mind I will think of you as I study the book through.
There was not any time to ask what your novel was about I knew you for such a short time in your young life.
I heard you sang songs that got in the charts, I can't sing at all.
I also heard you were a DJ, I bet you miss that too.
If only we knew your reasons for leaving us.
If only we could have helped you like you helped us too.
We would have been willing to respect your wishes and feelings. 2.10.2000
What a shocking way to start the 21st century for us, which is not so clever.
Now it's rest and peace forever for you.
The novel is in memory of you that are written by you it is very hard to find.
It was such a shame you could not write more books.
I may know how to write but not as well as you.
I had a book for my birthday called “HOW TO WRITE FOR A MILLION."
Learning about writing I am more interested in than the money, I will study it through.
Never mind I will think of you as I study the book through.
There was not any time to ask what your novel was about I knew you for such a short time in your young life.
I heard you sang songs that got in the charts, I can't sing at all.
I also heard you were a DJ, I bet you miss that too.
If only we knew your reasons for leaving us.
If only we could have helped you like you helped us too.
We would have been willing to respect your wishes and feelings. 2.10.2000
Why
did we lose Princess Diana?
Why
did Die and her boyfriend die so young?
It was so hurtful to think that the press was making their lives hell; I think
the stress from the press caused both their deaths.
Dies new lover must have been better than Charles, he may have made her happier than Charles did, and we would have never of known.
Now she will be always be in rest and peace with the man she loved. 26.5.2002
Dies new lover must have been better than Charles, he may have made her happier than Charles did, and we would have never of known.
Now she will be always be in rest and peace with the man she loved. 26.5.2002
Washing machine.
It seems as if the world has been a complete wash out.
It seems as if the world has been a complete wash out.
The washing machine seemed to be going
on forever.
The timer was set for 30 minutes as it
went on longer that.
It stopped I went to the shops.
The door took ages to open as the water
came down like a shower onto the floor.
Quick as I could I grab what I could
soak the water on the floor.
Strangely when I saw the news on the
internet, American was up to their necks in water with the Super Sandy storm.
The stormy sea causing damage to homes,
power cuts and electrically is still going on and off.
Anything, everything and everybody in
sight the storm will bring it down with a fright. 31.10.2012
Moving
forward.
The door has closed but it’s too cold yet for the other doors to open.
The door has closed but it’s too cold yet for the other doors to open.
There doesn't seem anymore of a door to
open; I think I may have walked through every door.
If there’s a door to open it may open
in the summer as it’s closed for the winter.
Even the spring seems a long way off.
Walk into the autumn as it closes for
the winter.
The future is an unknown world. 30.10.2012
Halloween
and Bonfire night.
Halloween and bonfire night near together as Halloween gets ready for bonfire night.
Halloween and bonfire night near together as Halloween gets ready for bonfire night.
It all happened on two stormy dark
nights not a very nice sight when nothing is very bright.
Oh what a wet and windy night not a
pretty sight.
The creatures are stirred in the soup
by the witches on Halloween night ready for Bonfire night.
The witches were burned alive on the
Bonfire.
The sea is rushing on this wet and
stormy night.
The night wasn’t very bright when it
was wild and windy not a pretty sight.
Halloween is when the witches bite as
they fly on their brooms and kites.
Nothing seems right on Halloween and
Bonfire night.
The witches don’t give without a fright
to fight. 31.10.2012 – 5.11.2012
All
good things come to the end.
Now it's all gone there's no magic wand
to bring us back together again.
I know nothing will be the same again.
Time to move on but the future is unknown.
Nothing has to go bitter.
Love doesn’t have to happen for us to get along.
There must be ways of facing one another without thinking about how we once were.
I have so many things to say to you.
So many reasons could be unknown to me.
I may be I'm thinking you could be hiding something away from me, how do I know?
I can trust but it's hard to know as I saw so little of you.
I may be wrong I just need to make sure.
What are your thoughts that are going through your mind?
Why did it take me to text you for me to find out it were over?
Would you ever have told me it was over otherwise?
When would you have told me it’s over if I hadn't of texted you?
How long has it been since you have wanted it to end or didn't you wanted it to end? 5.11.2012
I know nothing will be the same again.
Time to move on but the future is unknown.
Nothing has to go bitter.
Love doesn’t have to happen for us to get along.
There must be ways of facing one another without thinking about how we once were.
I have so many things to say to you.
So many reasons could be unknown to me.
I may be I'm thinking you could be hiding something away from me, how do I know?
I can trust but it's hard to know as I saw so little of you.
I may be wrong I just need to make sure.
What are your thoughts that are going through your mind?
Why did it take me to text you for me to find out it were over?
Would you ever have told me it was over otherwise?
When would you have told me it’s over if I hadn't of texted you?
How long has it been since you have wanted it to end or didn't you wanted it to end? 5.11.2012
The
stormy sea.
The boats are sinking as the tide goes
in and out as people shout floating about.
Most people dream about living near the
sea you see.
See sea water rushing into homes the
sea is not the place to be you see.
The sea can be a nightmare as well as a
dream you see.
It’s not all what it all cuts out to be
you see.
Furniture damage, power cuts, and
electrically is still going on and off.
The wind blew with the rain and sea
damaging the trees and everything to be seen.
As the sea stops rushing it will calm
down in time.
The boats will peacefully float.
The sun rises to set as it shines
surfing, slipping and sliding.
31.10.2012
You
turn on and off like a light.
I can take no more of your pain, your mind turns on and off like a light.
I can take no more of your pain, your mind turns on and off like a light.
One minute your mind rains then it
shines.
I never know how long you are mine.
You can never make up your mind.
My head is blowing a fuse in the wind.
If I take anymore of your change the
fuse will blew.
You change like the weather winter,
spring, Autumn and summer in a quick matter of time.
If the water catches the wires it pulls
out the fire.
If I let you carry on, I will blow a
storm that will rise. 30.10.2012
Winter is coming.
Winter is coming; the cold is coming without you, which makes it even colder.
Winter is coming; the cold is coming without you, which makes it even colder.
Dark mornings and
nights as the cold frost bites
The days are short
and the nights are long.
Six mouths go on
forever after when the clocks go back.
Time seems later than
what it is.
The cold is far too
long without you. 30.10.2012
•
1 comment:
Wow, reading this was an ordeal, not because it wasn't intellectually stimulating but because some of the concept seem so incredibly harrowing to me.
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