Frosty wood fires.
Snow and frost on and in between the trees.
As I see further and further the big black and white house in between those thousands of trees miles and miles.
There's the frozen lake with the piece of glass that smashed into shaking broken ice glass caught by the fire burning through the dark night till the morning light as the ice and snowmelt.
Flames rise everywhere on woods of fire, which warms the cold air.
Over the years the weather and times have changed from up to six months of snow, frost, and ice to rain, hail, snow, sleet, and ice on and off at any time, no fire to burn the ice, and no water to put out the fire.
What is all this about some say global warming and others say climax change?
I fall down and get back up again.
There is no way you can damage me with your words because they are just words, this is over the years what I have learned.
Now I think or feel nothing towards you, you were just a long dream and nightmare, I woke one day to realize that this wasn't real.
I am long away from your bitter and twisted mind, lies, and words, where your stories kept changing as you kept on changing your mind all the time.
I had to accept how things were to how and when wanted them, which is why in the end I had enough.
Poems on IT.
When you think IT you think of for example IT is, IT isn't, etc.
Over the years IT has had another meaning for example devices.
Managing your diary, emails, social media, Admin, etc.
Over years IT has increased to a point of advantages and disadvantages.
Concerns about health and safety plus things getting done a bit faster than they used to for example.
It's too easy to put ourselves in too many places at once, we are only human to be everywhere at once is not possible but it's possible to have a short time having you, me, or our time.
Poems.
You don't need to make a poem into a certain style.
If you think of something just write it down.
If you think of more than one word, doesn't necessarily always have to connect, just write lines.
Writing a load of rubbish is learning to write better.
Many say poetry can be boring, it neither is nor isn't, it's about life.
Like everything really not all poems is a success but some can be if we really work at it.
It's all just words but words that mean a lot to the mind.
Our time will come.
Our time will come when the time is right.
We don't need to prove we love one another because we know we do.
We have a way of showing it without us feeling but we do.
We show it in expression and we know we both care for one another.
We know we mean a lot to one another and no one else in the way we do.
We know we can trust one another because we are us, meaning ourselves to one another.
We give each other strength even just on video chat and even though we have not met in person yet.
No one is hiding anything from one another.
We didn't go out to find one another, we just happen to love one another more than friends.
We get through the good and bad days, nights, and times together.
We always know how to keep one another sane.
We never give up on one another.
We fall down and pick each other up again.
We are so grateful to have one another in each other's lives.
We know none of us are perfect because no one is.
When it comes down to it, we are the ones for one another but we are no better or worse than anyone.
We are just keeping strong.
I haven't forgotten.
I haven't forgotten how it feels to be afraid.
I haven't forgotten what it feels like to be lonely.
I haven't forgotten what it feels like to feel stressed.
I haven't forgotten what it feels like to be sad.
I haven't forgotten what it is like to feel worried.
These things I still feel now but not as much as I used to but I haven't forgotten.
You make me happy.
I only have to see your face and I smile before you say and do anything.
I only have to hear you laugh and I laugh too.
Somehow someway you turn my world around.
I love you so much, you are my world.
Mental health
Mental health isn't all black and white.
Under the smile and laughing are sadness, tears, and fears.
Under sadness and tears is smiling and laughing.
Fear hurts so bad, which is a worry, scary, panic, which can cause you to walk away from others and then become strong.
Mind.
What is the mind thinking?
What is the mind saying?
Time to fight with the mind and leave the past behind.
Making the negative become positive.
Is life as bad as it seems?
What is the worst and best thing that can happen?
People just need to end their pain, not their lives.
We were born to live our lives.
January, February blues.
Shelving freezing snow and ice like a piece of glass that will smash.
Shaking freezing cold hands.
Freezing cold fog.
Crisis of lockdown Coronavirus.
Dull days and dark nights.
No open arms to keep us warm.
Grey dull sky, noo blue sky, and sun.
Coronavirus lockdown is one of the greatest depressions of all wars.
We are working to bring on that bright light at the end of this dark tunnel.
It's not all in one's head.
No, it's not in your head, you're not alone.
The mind tends to overthink or not at all.
There's no shame or guilt.
No one should judge anyone.
You are not alone in these negative thoughts.
You need people to understand why you think, feel and behave as you do.
You need to think and speak freely to anyone without them telling others unless you say so or for your health and safety, even then there are only certain people they can tell.
Love is frozen without you.
Lockdown is here but it freezes love and never takes it away unless you let it.
Winter and lockdown are long without love.
Time is unknown but nothing is completely gone.
Times may be blue but redness could be late.
Hang on there least we can keep in touch online by letter or phone.
If you love someone enough you won't give up on them.
The time comes for those who wait.
It's easy to say.
It's easy to say I know but it's their loss and your gain.
With lockdown I understand it's likely to make things duller, it's easy to say and I bet you have heard this saying many times but it's true, plenty more fish in the sea.
I know it's hard to see the way forward but there is and time is a good healer no matter long or short it is.
Hang on in there don't let anyone end your days and night, no matter how much damage they have done or tried to do.
I know that's easy for me to say, although I haven't faced it for a long time I know that feeling well and it's hard but keep hanging there, you doing really well, no one is worth ending your days and nights for.
You just never know, next Valentine's day may be the day for you, if not plenty more to come, also plenty of other days and nights to come.
When the wind blows it opens one single rose.
When the rain comes down the whole roses are very washed down.
When spring has just started lovers have run.
When summer is on its way lovers pick roses every day.
Lovers.
Eating ice cream on a hot summer's day in the park.
Eating fish and chips, kissing and hugging wrapped up warm on a cold winter's night in the dark.
Eating popcorn in the back seat on the back row hugging the night away.
Drinking in the pub getting drunk, hugging and kissing
I hope you feel the same as I do.
I hope you feel the same as I do.
I am sitting writing poetry about you.
Thinking about you as I do.
You love me like I love you.
You are not only my lover but my best friend.
What happens happens.
I can't expect it to happen forever but never say never.
War.
Protecting yourself from gas and smoke with a gas mask.
Bombs going off and going mad.
Boots getting stuck in the mud.
Sore wounds as one move from place to place.
Hoping and dreaming that the war will be soon over to give love and peace.
Young men and women have been poised by gas.
Worrying about losing loved ones.
I love you madly.
Hello, my lovely laddie, I Love you so madly.
I hope you don't leave me so sad.
Why am I so mad as a lass to meet such a lad?
I may as well lose the love from start to end.
One way or the other I will manage to be loved again and dumped again.
I once ended up with a laddie who went off with another.
We fell in love for two and a half years, after that I had so many fears.
It took me a long time to move on, now gladly and madly I love another laddie.
I have no fear.
I have no fear of trust.
There's a lot about you that makes me feel as if I can trust you.
I love you for you.
In my mind, there's no one like you.
When I am without you, I miss you so much.
Now I am brave enough to cope without you.
It does not matter to me what life is like and how hard it is nothing or no one will put me off you.
Please get some sleep while you can with you working all night long.
I don't want anything to happen to you.
I'd rather miss you because you working than know that I am not going to see you again.
In your dreams.
Once upon a time, I knew you for two and a half years which seemed like a lifetime.
Thinking back you were not knowing.
I know the truth hurts but not as much as you hurt me.
Why has it taken you so long to know that you made a mistake in leaving me in the first place?
Well, it's only your own loss.
If only you had not hurt me in the first place, you know now that you hurt the wrong woman.
Don't ever think if she leaves you that you can come back to me.
You must accept that nothing can be the same again.
Things will get worse for you not better, you would either up end living with a nasty old woman or you could end up being a lonely old man.
It's far too late now.
If you still love me, please leave me to love a man who will love me for me not what he can get out of me.
If you don't love me, why should I be bothered, I don't love you either.
love you and I know you love me.
I love you and I know you love me.
I have that loving feeling that we are meant to be.
I love your lovely dark hair, those lovely brown eyes stick out a mile.
It's so sad I can't see a tiny bit more of you.
I just want to make it clear to you that my feelings are very strong towards you.
I hope we are right for one another.
To me you are a love waiting for, I hope I am right in thinking that.
You are very special to me.
No other male has made me feel like you do.
You and me.
Ups and downs may well happen time after time but good and bad are excepted to be.
At the end of the day, we are strong for one another.
There's not a day that goes by that we don't think of one another.
Last chance.
I have given you your last chance to be.
I did not expect to be loving you again, it just happened because I love you so much.
You're forgiven this once but hurt me again no matter how hard it hurt me to let you go, I will have to let you go.
How lucky you are to get me back, you have taken this chance.
Don't let me don't because there will be no going back.
You only live once, you will end up a lonely old man if you let me down again.
If you are not careful someone else could step into your shoes, you don't want that do you?
Whatever came over you to go off with her in the first place?
Whatever has got into me to go back to you?
The answer is that I love you.
What does it matter what happened in the past, now we will look to the future.
I look into your eyes, I knew too well that we knew each other so well.
Now that I am back in your loving arms, I hope that this is where I belong.
I hope you are here with me to stay otherwise you can go away.
My heart and mind can only write about whether our love is right or wrong.
This is how I feel about you, my love is strong enough for you but please be honest with me if you can't stay with me.
Sometimes action speaks louder than words.
When hurt me you told me how you felt at the time about me.
You made it very clear that you did not love me anymore.
You were the only man I loved, I still do.
You locked my heart now you have opened it back again.
I have always held the key for you, rightly or wrongly I always will but not if you hurt me and lock my heart again.
Lonely.
I am so lonely without you.
I don't know anyone without you.
Just like you, I have been put on this earth for a reason.
Where do I come from?
Who do I belong to?
Who am I?
Someone talk to me!
Someone help me get through this hard life?
My love.
My love is lost completely without you.
My future is nothing without you.
When I lost you it was true, I was having a nightmare.
I could never see what was going to happen.
I did not know where I was going to end up.
I can't get lost again: I have found you again.
I needed you more when you were not there but still, you are here now.
How did we find and lose one another in the first place?
Now that you are back I am very happy again.
How did we meet to love again?
It just happened, I am so glad it did.
I hope you are here to stay this time.
Keeping in touch, we are still here.
Valentine's day and every other day isn't just about love but friendship too.
Nearly twelve months now since the Covanvirus lockdown took us away from one another but for most of us not completely away as we have been contacting one another if not just by phone or letter, online.
Not all of us have been that lucky.
Let's hang in there, okay nothing can be the same as it was but we won't be like this forever.
If you can contact one another please do to let one another know you're hopefully okay.
Yes, we all know that this strange time can have a huge effect on mental but do keep in touch if you can to try and keep one another sane whatever friendship or relationship you may have.
Everyone is locked down.
Everyone is locked down as the world is dark but not all black and white, it's down to us to make it bright.
How can we go on through this lockdown without going out of our minds?
Missing family, friends, etc even though most of us are contacting them online.
Watching the films, soap on youtube, Netflix, etc.
Learning and working online.
Keeping busy helps us keep positive as we can.
A love worth waiting for.
I do more than like you, I love you so much.
Together we make two.
We were never out to find one another, I made you Admin my groups on Facebook, then you were my friend, then we liked one another more and not looked back.
For nearly two years we have been talking on video chat but have not met face to face yet.
No rush because when that day comes it will be a love worth waiting for.
You make my days and nights.
If you would like to be the boiling hot sun and I will be the freezing cold rain, ice, and snow.
You will never set but you being hot and me being cold, then we become warm.
For once in my life, you are my first and the last to come to me.
I never thought of being love in with you until you told me you loved me the first time and we have not looked back since.
Okay, we have had no chance to kiss but that moment will be worth waiting for whenever it is.
For once I have no fear of distrust.
Life is not easy in lockdown.
Same as but life is how we make it, then it's not.
Waking up and seeing not much to get up for, then there is.
Turn on your device get online, go to the bathroom, and get a cuppa.
Have yourself a bit to eat and wake up, then get on that exercise machine and work out.
Get on your online chats, courses, etc.
Go shopping etc.
Fight the mind.
Fight the mind by saying or and writing what's on the mind.
Every thought builds into the fire.
Just keep on saying or writing it down, no one needs to know unless you want them to.
Just manage it in your way, then no one is in control of you other than you.
Depression will keep on getting to you if you let it don't let it get to you.
Keep the mind busy, with anything you enjoy like hobbies, interests, and careers.
Only go for counseling if you want.
You don't want to end your life, you want to end your pain.
It's okay not to be okay.
Don't be scared to tell someone what's bothering you but no one is forcing you to talk either.
You're not alone, you are not crazy, you are not mad and not round the bend, and don't let others tell you otherwise.
No one should make you feel you shouldn't be talking to them.
Despite counselors etc being under privy laws etc, it's understandable why you may not want to tell others your business even though they may not tell anyone else.
We can do this.
We have fallen but we will get back up again.
Yes, that is easy to say but it's hard to get through without you helping yourself and letting others help you but that's up to you.
There seems to be no light at the end of the tunnel, whether there is or not is hard to say but some sort of life is sure to go on.
We cannot be on lockdown as we are forever.
It's hard to see that we will go back to how we were but there's sure to be some improvement to what it is now.
Who am I to say keep positive but try to keep strong, we know it's not easy at all, I know it's hard to believe in yourself and easy for me to say but you are doing very well?
Just because I am stronger than I was doesn't mean I haven't forgotten what it was like to feel as if it was the end of the world.
We have got through but not everyone does.
We never saw ourselves getting through this lockdown.
Okay, there is still time to come but we keep going because we have got this far and we are still here.
I love poetry and I love you.
I love you and I love writing about you.
I always wrote poetry about you and even before I met you.
The time of not seeing you through this lockdown is even more reason to write poetry about you, even I see you and or write to you online.
Maybe we met online and did not see one another in person at all other than video chat, maybe facetime, zoom, teams, etc who knows other than us and people we may have told?
Let's not give up because of the lockdown.
Let's keep our love strong.
Leave the past behind.
The past is well behind but hate is a very strong word.
No matter how hard you try some things you cannot forgive.
There comes a time you have no feelings at all.
I have long walked away from you but not from my words and now I love someone new.
Autism poems
It's easy to understand why you may think we may be rather strange.
Unaware of your thoughts, feelings, and the world around us but you may be thinking are they unaware.
Unless you know us really well, it is hard to believe in what we are and who we are.
However, we are all human just like you.
We don't see ourselves as special people even though we are classed as special needs, we don't see ourselves as the only people that matter or the center of attention, although it may seem like that to you.
We just struggle to think before we react and we are very sorry about that.
We don't mean be here and there's no way we would have planned our problems to affect our lives to affect you too, life made us this way, whether we were this way or not.
It makes sense why you may think all this is intended even though it's not because our problems are all hidden.
Sorry for being here, sorry for being hard at work and costing too much but then no, wanting to and not wanting to is a choice, we were born whether we like it or not, we have Autism whether we like it or not, which wasn't a choice either.
We don't expect the whole world to live their lives around us but we have positives in us as well as negatives like everyone else but in different ways to one and different ways to you, we just need the right support to be independent and achieve what we want and what needs to be.
Don't tell me!
Don't tell me I am not real because I am.
You don't need to do anything just hear my voice, which is real but you don't need to respond unless you want.
I once thought I was crazy, mad, thick, stupid but not anymore.
I thought I was nothing and no one but yes I am someone but no one other than I am me.
Don't tell me any difficulty, if you like my words tell me while I am here not when I have gone!
I have not forgotten what it was like to be a child with Autism even though at the time I didn't know I was.
Someone calling my name was like someone waking me up to the world.
I felt a little like a button that one could turn on and off, amount as if I didn't expect anyone to speak to me as weird as it may sound now.
However' I never understood why I was like I was, I still don't understand why I was how I was then or how I am today if I am completely honest, it's like a feeling I cannot explain.
Sorry, I cannot speak for others the same or similar as me, I can only speak for me.
Yes, I know that sounds like you are completely selfish, it's hard to be any other only when you have you inside you unless someone says yes, I feel that too.
As a child, I used to melt down because I couldn't express myself, these days I get mildly Anxious.
Struggling to say things without being misunderstood, which didn't happen all the time but most of the time which is no more different these days.
This can be a struggle for those who don't know me or should I say even those who don't know me well.
However' I know now as I am not alone whereas before, although it wasn't the case it seemed as if I was the only one living in this world, which I didn't know then was the Autism world.
I didn't start writing poetry till Adulthood.
As a child, I couldn't comprehend information to research.
I even struggled to use my own mind to the point most teachers even asked me if I was in this world or not.
Like I could read what words were said but never understood what they were about.
Strange to think I was amazed to discover reading and writing poetry in my late twenties not only due to a mental breakdown but to be inspired by an old poet John Keats who was facing a similar.
Water and wine.
Here I am drinking water and wine, everything is fine.
What I write either does or doesn't rhyme.
My mind is blank thinking about what to write most of the time.
No poems, no verses just words and lines.
Just trying to be one's self I have not let alone you cannot read my mind.
I don't need to write a story, novel, or play just words, that come from the mind, which are not.
What are we thinking and why is unknown to me as well as you.
Therefore I write one line at a time, even though it's rubbish coming out of my mind.
I may have always been out of my mind and still am.
Nothing to miss when I have gone.
Nothing to lose nothing to gain.
It's okay it's just a load of rubbish of words coming out of my brain but none at all.
I am just no one and nothing to miss when I have gone.
I'm no one special I have no talent at all.
I have no thoughts at all but then I do, I just struggle to express those thoughts in the way others understand.
Writing words are just my way of managing myself, my disability, my mental illness, problems, my life meaning the good things as well as the bad, happy, and the sad.
There is nothing to miss I'm just human like you but if I'm known I wish to be known while I'm here not when I am gone.
Do not remember me when I have gone because no clocks can be turned to remember me while I am here.
Whether the weather.
It is the start of 2022, New York started wet, damp pouring with heavy rain on the windowpane.
The lake was slightly overflowing as the deers were eating wet grass on the meadow hill.
Suddenly the fog and mist appeared with no sign of a lake to be seen only an icing ring.
Winter greyness appeared with the winter trees and grass everywhere.
Since then the snow has been on and off since Christmas eve.
We must remember.
As sad as wars are we must remember those who risked their lives for us, even if we never have will know them, we wouldn't have been here if it hadn't been for them.
No matter when or what war etc, whether we knew them or not their lives were as important as ours, this could be families from today to those generations apart, etc, or even friends, etc.
The Civil war was 300 odd years ago, 1733 was the run-up to the Civil war.
Savannah has a history of slaves, trees, fields, farms, etc just like other parts of America such as North and South Carolina.
The solar system
Not sure whether or not anyone has written poems about the solar system but what I write is not poems but words, sentences, lines, etc.
Earth is Mother of the world planet earth, we walk the walk of places, people, animals, rivers, sea, lakes, different weathers and more.
The planet is a milky way of stars, mercury, mars, venus, earth, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, Pluto, the moon, the sun and maybe more, which are all planets of the solar system, this is our planet earth.
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