Never say never.
Never say it can't happen to you, I only hope that it doesn't.
Your life completely changes from good to bad but there's always someone worse off than yourself.
Make the most of the good you have got because you never know how long it may last but then you may be lucky enough to have that good in your life forever.
Hopefully not but you could lose something good you have had all your life.
Stop to think about what it must be like to depend on others a lot.
No one enjoys asking for help a lot but it's not easy when you don't have a choice on most things.
Despite us being dependent in one way we are independent in another way but each of us in different ways.
We are no different from you we just need more help but don't ever think it won't happen to you, hopefully not but it may. 4.1.2015
Being a teenager.
Years come and go so fast after teenage years, it can be easy to forget what it was like but you don't forget.
Being a teenager is not an easy time.
No matter what people are like around you are you and you feel know best.
I and many others were once like that but one day most of us our lives were different from what we used to be even though we never saw it coming.
We all understand being a teenager is tough because everyone seems to know better than you, confusing as it sounds we don't but we do.
I have to say I feel more sorry for your time than it was in my own, with money being as tight as it is today getting a career is hard.
The worse thing for me was the bullying school and my emotions were all over the place, which is no different from others.
I admit it seemed as if I was having it hard at the time but I don't think I was really when I think about it now. 3. 1.2015 - 4.1.2015
Years come and go so fast after teenage years, it can be easy to forget what it was like but you don't forget.
Being a teenager is not an easy time.
No matter what people are like around you are you and you feel know best.
I and many others were once like that but one day most of us our lives were different from what we used to be even though we never saw it coming.
We all understand being a teenager is tough because everyone seems to know better than you, confusing as it sounds we don't but we do.
I have to say I feel more sorry for your time than it was in my own, with money being as tight as it is today getting a career is hard.
The worse thing for me was the bullying school and my emotions were all over the place, which is no different from others.
I admit it seemed as if I was having it hard at the time but I don't think I was really when I think about it now. 3. 1.2015 - 4.1.2015
Youth.
Many would say poetry is boring, I admit it can be.
I guess it puts us, poets, at shame when the truth hurts.
Okay, one could say a poet isn't a poet we just have art with words.
Maybe the truth hurts that we don't.
I remember when I was young thinking I was right and everyone else was wrong, yes I know that's a shameful way to be but I learned the hard way because without realizing it I chose to.
Now I think the opposite of what I used to and 99% of the time I'm still wrong, I feel I have learned my lesson so much to a point where now I think I'm always wrong.
I believe you never really get older you just live and learn.
The way we feel and think can be so hard to understand, our minds are learning processors.
In the end, my poetry, my words whatever you want to call it are just saying what I have learned in life.
It's not to say you have to agree, it's just to say life isn't always what it seems. 4.1.2015
Many would say poetry is boring, I admit it can be.
I guess it puts us, poets, at shame when the truth hurts.
Okay, one could say a poet isn't a poet we just have art with words.
Maybe the truth hurts that we don't.
I remember when I was young thinking I was right and everyone else was wrong, yes I know that's a shameful way to be but I learned the hard way because without realizing it I chose to.
Now I think the opposite of what I used to and 99% of the time I'm still wrong, I feel I have learned my lesson so much to a point where now I think I'm always wrong.
I believe you never really get older you just live and learn.
The way we feel and think can be so hard to understand, our minds are learning processors.
In the end, my poetry, my words whatever you want to call it are just saying what I have learned in life.
It's not to say you have to agree, it's just to say life isn't always what it seems. 4.1.2015
Long school days have gone.
To me, the years of school seemed so long but through adulthood, the years go far too fast.
I learned nothing.
I did nothing because I could do nothing mainly as far as the rest of the world was curtained
It's hard to explain what it's like to feel useless.
Anyone could be a slow learner.
Anyone could find it hard to learn.
The teachers used to say far too much for me to remember.
Bully got far too much from the other kids because they saw me as dumb.
It just all seemed as if life wasn't worth living.
I honestly thought I couldn't get any kind of work.
I honestly thought I couldn't achieve anything at all.
It seemed no one liked me but why should I have had to prove myself to anyone?
I just felt as if I wasn't a nice person.
I felt useless.
Being an adult was a big change around for me even though even at the age of 45 I still have a long way to go.
I can't believe I achieved a good many exams and although I haven't a proper job, I have come a long way off than the start of my life by helping others worse off than myself.
I haven't done this to prove anyone but myself.
Now I have more friends than when I was in school.
I couldn't write poetry when I was in school.
If you come across some who can't learn easily, don't bully, they are not thick or dumb they are just a bit slow.
Never judge a book by its cover!
Be careful what you say because they may prove you wrong one day well not you or anyone else but themselves. 3.1.2015
To me, the years of school seemed so long but through adulthood, the years go far too fast.
I learned nothing.
I did nothing because I could do nothing mainly as far as the rest of the world was curtained
It's hard to explain what it's like to feel useless.
Anyone could be a slow learner.
Anyone could find it hard to learn.
The teachers used to say far too much for me to remember.
Bully got far too much from the other kids because they saw me as dumb.
It just all seemed as if life wasn't worth living.
I honestly thought I couldn't get any kind of work.
I honestly thought I couldn't achieve anything at all.
It seemed no one liked me but why should I have had to prove myself to anyone?
I just felt as if I wasn't a nice person.
I felt useless.
Being an adult was a big change around for me even though even at the age of 45 I still have a long way to go.
I can't believe I achieved a good many exams and although I haven't a proper job, I have come a long way off than the start of my life by helping others worse off than myself.
I haven't done this to prove anyone but myself.
Now I have more friends than when I was in school.
I couldn't write poetry when I was in school.
If you come across some who can't learn easily, don't bully, they are not thick or dumb they are just a bit slow.
Never judge a book by its cover!
Be careful what you say because they may prove you wrong one day well not you or anyone else but themselves. 3.1.2015
On heat hanging on the ceiling.
I sat under the light hanging on the ceiling.
The lampshade was shaking.
The heat was rising.
I was hanging.
The room spun round and round as if I had a good many drinks.
I saw stars on the ceiling spinning around with me.
I had a very bad hair day after I washed my hair.
It went from wet and curly to dry to fizzy as my hair felt the heat.
I tried everything I could to make it dry and curly but it was no good.
This was just me chasing dreams of freedom. 28.12.12
I sat under the light hanging on the ceiling.
The lampshade was shaking.
The heat was rising.
I was hanging.
The room spun round and round as if I had a good many drinks.
I saw stars on the ceiling spinning around with me.
I had a very bad hair day after I washed my hair.
It went from wet and curly to dry to fizzy as my hair felt the heat.
I tried everything I could to make it dry and curly but it was no good.
This was just me chasing dreams of freedom. 28.12.12
Life seems worthless but goes on.
I don't have anything in mind to wish for.
When I sleep I dream about the love I used to have.
I can't dream about anything that is happening now because there's nothing happening.
My world seems empty, my head feels full of pain and I don't know what to make of this life I have now.
I don't know what will make me happy now.
I am not saying I am not happy but I can't think about what I want in life.
To me everything is new.
I don't know what to do until a new day comes my way.
Some days I feel happy.
On other days I feel sad.
Most days I could laugh.
On other days I could cry.
On other days I could have anger.
On other days I could be mad.
I don't have anything in mind to wish for.
When I sleep I dream about the love I used to have.
I can't dream about anything that is happening now because there's nothing happening.
My world seems empty, my head feels full of pain and I don't know what to make of this life I have now.
I don't know what will make me happy now.
I am not saying I am not happy but I can't think about what I want in life.
To me everything is new.
I don't know what to do until a new day comes my way.
Some days I feel happy.
On other days I feel sad.
Most days I could laugh.
On other days I could cry.
On other days I could have anger.
On other days I could be mad.
It’s hard to understand your feelings can change from happy to sad whether you have a reason to be one or the other or not.
I mostly have my days of anger when I am by myself because I feel so mixed up in my mind.
I want one thing one day or the next. 20.8.1999
I mostly have my days of anger when I am by myself because I feel so mixed up in my mind.
I want one thing one day or the next. 20.8.1999
Think about the 1914 - 1918 war.
A lot of young men 18 - 35 had lost their lives in the 1914 - 1918 war.
The men who are alive are mostly wounded for life.
Some men have become disabled for the rest of their lives.
Some men are blind, through bombs.
Other men have lost arms, others have lost legs.
Some men have even lost their feet.
Other men have lost eyes, ears, noses, and months.
What on earth is life about?
In every town, there were street sweepers sweeping the streets.
Grass covered in mud men's boots sank deep.
Smoking cigarettes when they felt down and depressed.
Walking and hiding in the fog.
Falling into the muddy bog.
Fighting for one's life. 2.1.2000
A lot of young men 18 - 35 had lost their lives in the 1914 - 1918 war.
The men who are alive are mostly wounded for life.
Some men have become disabled for the rest of their lives.
Some men are blind, through bombs.
Other men have lost arms, others have lost legs.
Some men have even lost their feet.
Other men have lost eyes, ears, noses, and months.
What on earth is life about?
In every town, there were street sweepers sweeping the streets.
Grass covered in mud men's boots sank deep.
Smoking cigarettes when they felt down and depressed.
Walking and hiding in the fog.
Falling into the muddy bog.
Fighting for one's life. 2.1.2000
I am writing a silly verse, does it get any worse?
I am writing a silly poem, this poem is worth knowing.
I wish I could write my poems more like Lenard Cohen.
Is Lenard Cohen worth knowing, does he do sewing?
We sat to kiss but there was so much mist.
He's written my name on his love list.
He's a boy who gives me so much joy.
It was a peaceful night,
read before I turned the light.
I could not sleep because there was a fight.
I am writing a silly poem, this poem is worth knowing.
I wish I could write my poems more like Lenard Cohen.
Is Lenard Cohen worth knowing, does he do sewing?
We sat to kiss but there was so much mist.
He's written my name on his love list.
He's a boy who gives me so much joy.
It was a peaceful night,
read before I turned the light.
I could not sleep because there was a fight.
There was once a verse about an empty purse.
I don't know who found the purse first.
I think it was a man named thrust.
The man who stool it was the crust.
This is your friend until the end.
This is the end, you’re not my friend.
I swam in the sea,
I saw Lee drinking a cup of tea,
and there was no tea for me.
I need some fresh air.
The sweets we should share.
In this world, there's some care.
Today I feel so much sorrow; maybe I will be happy tomorrow.
When I see you tomorrow I will follow.
I don't know who found the purse first.
I think it was a man named thrust.
The man who stool it was the crust.
This is your friend until the end.
This is the end, you’re not my friend.
I swam in the sea,
I saw Lee drinking a cup of tea,
and there was no tea for me.
I need some fresh air.
The sweets we should share.
In this world, there's some care.
Today I feel so much sorrow; maybe I will be happy tomorrow.
When I see you tomorrow I will follow.
The man who spends his long life with his wife,
in the end, he killed with a knife because was a nightmare of his life.
He paid a big price when he killed his long-lasting wife. 2003 -2006
in the end, he killed with a knife because was a nightmare of his life.
He paid a big price when he killed his long-lasting wife. 2003 -2006
The young.
Walking around day and night.
They don't have to do anything.
Food and drink are very hard to buy these days.
Kids either have very little food and drink or too much.
The education is not as good as it used to be or kids learn things they should not know.
As adults, it can be too late for them to learn right from wrong.
They end up begging people for food, drink, and drugs.
Some people are on the streets because they have stressed their families out too.
Others have been turned away from their families for no reason; it's hard to know the truth is.
Some people there through lack of attention just for the sake of begging off people.
They don't have to do anything.
Food and drink are very hard to buy these days.
Kids either have very little food and drink or too much.
The education is not as good as it used to be or kids learn things they should not know.
As adults, it can be too late for them to learn right from wrong.
They end up begging people for food, drink, and drugs.
Some people are on the streets because they have stressed their families out too.
Others have been turned away from their families for no reason; it's hard to know the truth is.
Some people there through lack of attention just for the sake of begging off people.
Some people try to make people feel sorry for them.
The backgrounds of these people are hard to know the truth of.
People don't know whether to help or not. 29.5.2002
The backgrounds of these people are hard to know the truth of.
People don't know whether to help or not. 29.5.2002
Is falling in love wrong?
Is falling in love wrong?
Well with the wrong person yes it is.
With the wrong person falling in love is a lie.
To move on is the hardest thing to do when feelings are strong for the wrong person who has hurt you.
Before they hurt you and or even they hurt you.
They love you and kiss you and hold you as they really mean how they feel about you.
When that happens it's so easy to believe.
The longer you love them the harder it is to stop loving them.
Then you start to feel bitter and angry, which makes it hard to get on with life as if you didn't know them at all.
Whether you move on to love someone else or you don't it can take a long time to get completely over the last, the pain can hurt so pain.
Before meeting the next person you need to build up your trust again, which is very hard to do. 4.1.2015
Is falling in love wrong?
Well with the wrong person yes it is.
With the wrong person falling in love is a lie.
To move on is the hardest thing to do when feelings are strong for the wrong person who has hurt you.
Before they hurt you and or even they hurt you.
They love you and kiss you and hold you as they really mean how they feel about you.
When that happens it's so easy to believe.
The longer you love them the harder it is to stop loving them.
Then you start to feel bitter and angry, which makes it hard to get on with life as if you didn't know them at all.
Whether you move on to love someone else or you don't it can take a long time to get completely over the last, the pain can hurt so pain.
Before meeting the next person you need to build up your trust again, which is very hard to do. 4.1.2015
Here I am.
Here I am just coming from my local pub.
Not at all drunk.
I only drank one and a half bitter.
I was only there from 10.45pm to 12.00am.
I may well drink seven nights a week but I don't come in until the night is near enough to end.
Nothing to be please about I admit but then I could have done worse even though I could do better. 5.1.2015
LIFE AND MUSIC WITHOUT YOU.
I would have loved to have come to see you sing.
I only wish I had done it now, it's too late.
No one else is you.
Brain, John, and Roger are great too.
Paul Rogers is great but he will be Alright Now in Free.
Queen isn't Queen without you Freddie too. 4.10.2007
FOR MY NAN ... ARE YOU THERE.
You are there.
There's a bright star in the sky at night.
This is you, you are there.
The stars are good people like you in heaven.
You are there .....
I miss you Nan love from Sara x 19.8.2007
HOPING TO MOVE ON.
Hope is sometimes called wishful thinking.
We shouldn't build our hopes up these days.
Jobs are very hard to find so I am not missing much.
The fact I can't work, I don't know what I want to do
when I go back to college in September.
I have passed some exams which I hope will help me
with my voluntary work at Mencap.
Where do I go from here?
Where is the light in the tunnel? 19.8.2007
Sayings in poems.
Nothing goes everyone's way all the time, things can't go right all the time.
I can't stand fear but I love beer, beer doesn't love me, it makes me fat lol!
I can't stand fear but I love beer, beer doesn't love me, it makes me fat lol!
Worse things happen at sea, we shouldn't feel shame and guilt we can't please everyone.
No one is perfect, we all make mistakes, and you can't get things right all the time.
Life is too short make the most of it, life is what you make it.
Take the good with the bad.
Be yourself don't try to be someone yourself try not, it's not an easy one but try not to make yourself misunderstood. 2016 to 18.4.2022
Summertime.
Summer.
Daisy
Buttercup
Rose
Trees with leaves all over. 31.12.2016
Daisy
Buttercup
Rose
Trees with leaves all over. 31.12.2016
Spring.
Easter.
Chocolates
Bunnies
Rabbits
Lambs go baa
Chicks 31.12.2016
Chocolates
Bunnies
Rabbits
Lambs go baa
Chicks 31.12.2016
Valentine poems.
Love.
Hearts
Flowers
Chocolates
Cards
Poems
Verses 31.12.2016
Hearts
Flowers
Chocolates
Cards
Poems
Verses 31.12.2016
The weather.
Wind
Hot
Cold
Sunshine
Rain
Snow
Hail 31.12.2016
Wind
Hot
Cold
Sunshine
Rain
Snow
Hail 31.12.2016
Time to party.
Fast poetry.
Not much time.
Time to party.
Not much time.
Time to party.
Get drunk. 2016 to 2022
It all comes out.
I know what's making you low.
The cold winter weather.
The change of the season.
Dull days and dark nights.
Every day is short but months seem so long. 31.12.2016
I know what's making you low.
The cold winter weather.
The change of the season.
Dull days and dark nights.
Every day is short but months seem so long. 31.12.2016
Anxiety.
Panic
Fear
Worrying about things that most don't turn out to be what they seem. 31.12.2016
Panic
Fear
Worrying about things that most don't turn out to be what they seem. 31.12.2016
I grew up to be me.
I am no good with my fingers and toes.
I am good with my mind.
The good thing is I can write.
I say what's going through my mind. 31.12.16
I am no good with my fingers and toes.
I am good with my mind.
The good thing is I can write.
I say what's going through my mind. 31.12.16
Risking a long road without realizing it.
I wrongly let my feelings get in my way and I should have controlled them.
Therefore I feared and took the risk for someone I loved at that time and now I hate him.
If only I was braver I would have saved myself extra pain.
I took the risk knowing he was going to break me again but then realized he didn't in the end because I fell down and got back up again ten times stronger than he did.
I took him back, we spent seven years together, what a big mistake that was because my love was far too strong towards him to turn him down.
This time I knew whatever it took I had to start to walk away before he hurt me ten times as hard as he did before.
I started to walk away slowly for a month in spite of my feelings.
In a few days, I started to feel nothing for him, which I couldn't believe after 13 and a half years on and off.
It was a great weight off my shoulders but it still took six years till I was out of his life altogether because I was great friends with his Mum.
Only after she died did I walk away from him for good
He couldn't make up his mind whether he loved me or not so, therefore he didn't love me at all.
As time when on he kept on saying sorry, he kept begging me to take him back, I kept on saying no. 31.12.2012
I wrongly let my feelings get in my way and I should have controlled them.
Therefore I feared and took the risk for someone I loved at that time and now I hate him.
If only I was braver I would have saved myself extra pain.
I took the risk knowing he was going to break me again but then realized he didn't in the end because I fell down and got back up again ten times stronger than he did.
I took him back, we spent seven years together, what a big mistake that was because my love was far too strong towards him to turn him down.
This time I knew whatever it took I had to start to walk away before he hurt me ten times as hard as he did before.
I started to walk away slowly for a month in spite of my feelings.
In a few days, I started to feel nothing for him, which I couldn't believe after 13 and a half years on and off.
It was a great weight off my shoulders but it still took six years till I was out of his life altogether because I was great friends with his Mum.
Only after she died did I walk away from him for good
He couldn't make up his mind whether he loved me or not so, therefore he didn't love me at all.
As time when on he kept on saying sorry, he kept begging me to take him back, I kept on saying no. 31.12.2012
his is not a cry out for help.
This is not a cry-out for help.
This is not seeking attention, we are just making you aware of our conditions.
This is a very down feeling with or without a reason.
No one wants to feel like they do.
No one wants to take how they feel on others.
No one wants to leave others in sadness.
Just when you feel like this, life feels painful to live but it doesn't mean you want to leave the world to grief.
We are not nuts, it doesn't make us suffer worse than others the way you may think we think, we just cope in a different way to you.
We would say if we really truly knew why ourselves, it may well pass but then it comes back, we are up and down which can happen to anyone but we are just more so often than, those who do not face Mental Health.
We are not asking for the world, we are asking to learn and understand us. 30. 12.2016
Misunderstood.
So you think I am all black and white sorry to disappoint but you are wrong, we can be quite bright when we see the light.
There's more to me and others the same or not much different to me.
We are always what we sound and appear to be.
Just because you may see us laughing and smiling, doesn't mean we feel the same inside.
We are not fake people and we are not attention seekers either.
Feelings and emotions can vary from time to time and or person to person, not all people manage their conditions the same.
It may depend on the people and situations around us.
Not everyone faces and reacts to life the same.
Mental Health is hidden, it's not a lie.
It's not something we decide to be ourselves, it just happens and nobody knows why.
We are not fake, we are real but sensitive people. 3012.2016
Every day I ask myself.
What happened?
Why did it happen?
When did it happen?
If only I knew because I feel that you would be at peace if I did so would I.
No reason is good enough you should be here.
Doesn't how you felt about me, I loved you and I always will.
However you felt about me, I would sooner you would be alive than where you are now. 30.12.2016
So you think I am all black and white sorry to disappoint but you are wrong, we can be quite bright when we see the light.
There's more to me and others the same or not much different to me.
We are always what we sound and appear to be.
Just because you may see us laughing and smiling, doesn't mean we feel the same inside.
We are not fake people and we are not attention seekers either.
Feelings and emotions can vary from time to time and or person to person, not all people manage their conditions the same.
It may depend on the people and situations around us.
Not everyone faces and reacts to life the same.
Mental Health is hidden, it's not a lie.
It's not something we decide to be ourselves, it just happens and nobody knows why.
We are not fake, we are real but sensitive people. 3012.2016
Every day I ask myself.
What happened?
Why did it happen?
When did it happen?
If only I knew because I feel that you would be at peace if I did so would I.
No reason is good enough you should be here.
Doesn't how you felt about me, I loved you and I always will.
However you felt about me, I would sooner you would be alive than where you are now. 30.12.2016
December.
Your birthday gave me a mixer of emotions, wishing you were here as the party animal you were.
Days before and after your birthday have seemed very dark and dull, leaving me to wonder why you left this world.
Not easy to move on anyway but even harder with the unknown.
I have tried to stop myself from asking myself questions knowing full well I get no answers, which is not easy.
What I do know is that you would tell me to stop being so daft and move on with my life.
Yes, you're right, I'm not very good at it am I? 30.12.2016
Drinking and poetry.
Through being over-tried and drinking emotions tend to get taken out on the wrong people, which should wait to be written on paper.
It's not poetry, it's just words that have come out of my head, words of emotions.
I haven't been sleeping right since you left this world with all these questions I can't answer coming into my head.
I haven't taken sleeping pills, I have drank instead only huge amounts now and then.
I sit at my computer desk with words pouring out of my head that doesn't make any sense, then it goes blank as I wonder what to write. 30.12.2016
Your birthday gave me a mixer of emotions, wishing you were here as the party animal you were.
Days before and after your birthday have seemed very dark and dull, leaving me to wonder why you left this world.
Not easy to move on anyway but even harder with the unknown.
I have tried to stop myself from asking myself questions knowing full well I get no answers, which is not easy.
What I do know is that you would tell me to stop being so daft and move on with my life.
Yes, you're right, I'm not very good at it am I? 30.12.2016
Drinking and poetry.
Through being over-tried and drinking emotions tend to get taken out on the wrong people, which should wait to be written on paper.
It's not poetry, it's just words that have come out of my head, words of emotions.
I haven't been sleeping right since you left this world with all these questions I can't answer coming into my head.
I haven't taken sleeping pills, I have drank instead only huge amounts now and then.
I sit at my computer desk with words pouring out of my head that doesn't make any sense, then it goes blank as I wonder what to write. 30.12.2016
No point.
It seems life is not worth living when you weren't meant to be here in the first place.
Sorry to be so sad, take no notice of me it's just a wrong feeling of opinion I had.
I don't feel like anyone.
Who are you?
I may as well not be here at all.
Sorry, to feel this way I just want to end it all.
Sorry, it was just what I was feeling at the time when I wrote these lines. 30.12.2016
Words are words.
Say good or bad words about I don't care.
They are words, they don't hurt me.
Do whatever you like me, I will leave this earth as a doormat.
I will fall down and get back up again.
I am used to people treating me how they want, I don't care how they treat me anymore.
If others think I am a laughing stock so what I'm as strong as an ox. 30.12.2016
I keep feeling the need to do it.
I keep feeling the need to do it but I haven't got the guts.
Too scared of heights and I don't think I am strong enough.
If only I knew why I feel the way I do.
Open the window and let me fly to the sky.
Life is a pain and sadness, I don't feel selfish to do it but I feel guilty and ashamed that I feel this way.
30.12.2017
It seems life is not worth living when you weren't meant to be here in the first place.
Sorry to be so sad, take no notice of me it's just a wrong feeling of opinion I had.
I don't feel like anyone.
Who are you?
I may as well not be here at all.
Sorry, to feel this way I just want to end it all.
Sorry, it was just what I was feeling at the time when I wrote these lines. 30.12.2016
Words are words.
Say good or bad words about I don't care.
They are words, they don't hurt me.
Do whatever you like me, I will leave this earth as a doormat.
I will fall down and get back up again.
I am used to people treating me how they want, I don't care how they treat me anymore.
If others think I am a laughing stock so what I'm as strong as an ox. 30.12.2016
I keep feeling the need to do it.
I keep feeling the need to do it but I haven't got the guts.
Too scared of heights and I don't think I am strong enough.
If only I knew why I feel the way I do.
Open the window and let me fly to the sky.
Life is a pain and sadness, I don't feel selfish to do it but I feel guilty and ashamed that I feel this way.
30.12.2017
Depression.
Depression isn't all sadness.
Depression isn't all black and white.
We are not nuts nor neither are we not completely sad or completely happy either, we just want to be heard and understood.
Depression isn't all one feeling to what it says the sound of the word Depression.
Depression you can be feeling very up and down more so than people without Depression.
Please don't judge what you don't understand or know!
We are all positive as well as negative people.
The same is the other way round, just because we may laugh, smile or and etc doesn't mean we necessarily do feel that way inside ourselves, many of us feel very sad side.
How we show ourselves can be very different from what feels inside but not always the case, it can vary so much from time to time and or even person to person.
Little is shown because it's so very hidden as far as the condition itself is concerned.
You could have the greatest life in the world yet feel the unhappiest person in the world yet have the worse life in the world and be the happiest person in the world, which can vary from person to person, time to time, or any way round. 29.12.2016
Depression isn't all sadness.
Depression isn't all black and white.
We are not nuts nor neither are we not completely sad or completely happy either, we just want to be heard and understood.
Depression isn't all one feeling to what it says the sound of the word Depression.
Depression you can be feeling very up and down more so than people without Depression.
Please don't judge what you don't understand or know!
We are all positive as well as negative people.
The same is the other way round, just because we may laugh, smile or and etc doesn't mean we necessarily do feel that way inside ourselves, many of us feel very sad side.
How we show ourselves can be very different from what feels inside but not always the case, it can vary so much from time to time and or even person to person.
Little is shown because it's so very hidden as far as the condition itself is concerned.
You could have the greatest life in the world yet feel the unhappiest person in the world yet have the worse life in the world and be the happiest person in the world, which can vary from person to person, time to time, or any way round. 29.12.2016
You were all in my mind.
You were all in my mind.
You were all in my head.
Writing poetry has been like writing lines in school.
I must get you out of my mind and head.
You have seen to be with me for so long even after I finally walked out of your life altogether.
You seemed as if you were going to be with me forever, I never thought I'd get rid of you and I never thought I ever wanted to get rid of you.
Now it's as if I have been sleeping these years with you in my mind and head, it's been all a dream and nightmare.
Now I don't think about you anymore and now I don't think you are real anymore.
Now to me, it's as if you are this monster who has been eating away at me all these years and now you have gone away, you are just not here anymore and finally I am free from you. 29.12.2016
You were all in my mind.
You were all in my head.
Writing poetry has been like writing lines in school.
I must get you out of my mind and head.
You have seen to be with me for so long even after I finally walked out of your life altogether.
You seemed as if you were going to be with me forever, I never thought I'd get rid of you and I never thought I ever wanted to get rid of you.
Now it's as if I have been sleeping these years with you in my mind and head, it's been all a dream and nightmare.
Now I don't think about you anymore and now I don't think you are real anymore.
Now to me, it's as if you are this monster who has been eating away at me all these years and now you have gone away, you are just not here anymore and finally I am free from you. 29.12.2016
ever thought it would end.
I once went off the rails because of you, I never thought the pain would end.
Every day seemed like a big effect to keep myself living and going, I never thought I was going to get by but I did, with counseling and poetry I made it through in the end without you.
I never thought I'd see the light at the end of that black tunnel, which seemed so far away.
Every day seemed so scary and I never thought I'd get through.
I never thought I'd feel the same without you.
I never thought I would be pleased to be without you.
I never thought I would make it without you in the end. 29.12.2016
I once went off the rails because of you, I never thought the pain would end.
Every day seemed like a big effect to keep myself living and going, I never thought I was going to get by but I did, with counseling and poetry I made it through in the end without you.
I never thought I'd see the light at the end of that black tunnel, which seemed so far away.
Every day seemed so scary and I never thought I'd get through.
I never thought I'd feel the same without you.
I never thought I would be pleased to be without you.
I never thought I would make it without you in the end. 29.12.2016
If only I did it sooner.
I only left sooner and if only I didn't love you for so long.
I only felt stronger to walk away from you sooner but then, in the end, I did.
Still, although it wasn't nice at the time, the harder time you gave me, what you didn't realize was the stronger you made me.
Now I can move on without you on my mind.
It took me so long to get where I am now, now it's as if I never knew or saw you.
You thought you knocked me right down, okay you did but I got back up again.
You never thought you would be sad to lose me but you are because you begged to get me back when you realized you were wrong to let me go so what goes around comes around.
I don't like revenge but if it's necessary it doesn't do you any harm to see what it's been like to be on my side of the coin, does it?
How long did you think I was going to let you walk over me without me realizing I was?
How shocked were you when I could walk away and live without you being in my life?
You don't like to see the change in me and you don't like the truth do you?
The truth hurts you so don't beg me like a dog for another chance because you will get nowhere with me!
Sorry, I won't do it again!
Let's not go there pretending you're someone you are not.
How many chances do you want?
None with me. 29.12.2016
I only left sooner and if only I didn't love you for so long.
I only felt stronger to walk away from you sooner but then, in the end, I did.
Still, although it wasn't nice at the time, the harder time you gave me, what you didn't realize was the stronger you made me.
Now I can move on without you on my mind.
It took me so long to get where I am now, now it's as if I never knew or saw you.
You thought you knocked me right down, okay you did but I got back up again.
You never thought you would be sad to lose me but you are because you begged to get me back when you realized you were wrong to let me go so what goes around comes around.
I don't like revenge but if it's necessary it doesn't do you any harm to see what it's been like to be on my side of the coin, does it?
How long did you think I was going to let you walk over me without me realizing I was?
How shocked were you when I could walk away and live without you being in my life?
You don't like to see the change in me and you don't like the truth do you?
The truth hurts you so don't beg me like a dog for another chance because you will get nowhere with me!
Sorry, I won't do it again!
Let's not go there pretending you're someone you are not.
How many chances do you want?
None with me. 29.12.2016
You go by what you see.
You go by what you see.
Also so much is hidden in the condition so don't judge what don't understand what you don't know!
Therefore you misunderstand us for someone we are not.
You stare at us as if you think we are nuts.
You react to us as if we are not there.
Hello, we are there.
We have thoughts and voices like everyone.
You go by what you see.
Also so much is hidden in the condition so don't judge what don't understand what you don't know!
Therefore you misunderstand us for someone we are not.
You stare at us as if you think we are nuts.
You react to us as if we are not there.
Hello, we are there.
We have thoughts and voices like everyone.
In my own world and in my own words.
I was like the only child to start with.
When you came into the world we were like miles apart but you brought a lot of joy into my life, which I know at times I found it hard to show.
Now you are a great Mother raising my two lovely nephews.
There have been so many changes that we never thought would happen from when You were born when I was 13 to now. 29.12.2016
I am me no matter how hard I find it to change.
I try not to be a dreamer but I seem to be.
Being romantic can be a good and a bad thing because you can easily hope too much.
Not easy to balance the good with the bad.
Not good when you want to write and you can't think of what to write.
Once you start to think, your pen can't write in time to your mind, please forgive my untidy handwriting when that happens, which is why I mostly type. 29.12.2016
I was like the only child to start with.
When you came into the world we were like miles apart but you brought a lot of joy into my life, which I know at times I found it hard to show.
Now you are a great Mother raising my two lovely nephews.
There have been so many changes that we never thought would happen from when You were born when I was 13 to now. 29.12.2016
I am me no matter how hard I find it to change.
I try not to be a dreamer but I seem to be.
Being romantic can be a good and a bad thing because you can easily hope too much.
Not easy to balance the good with the bad.
Not good when you want to write and you can't think of what to write.
Once you start to think, your pen can't write in time to your mind, please forgive my untidy handwriting when that happens, which is why I mostly type. 29.12.2016
Just a feeling with or without a reason.
Just a feeling with or without a reason why, even then no one really knows why.
For some of us, it comes and goes with no in-between.
For others, it stays where it is unknown to the reasons why most of the time.
Just accept anything, everything off anybody and everybody.
We are just human with things we can and can't control. 29.12.2016
Don't get me wrong.
Don't get me wrong, not everything is down to Mental health, we know that.
Most of it is down to being misunderstood.
Yes, I agree we all have faults. 29. 12. 2016
Just a feeling with or without a reason why, even then no one really knows why.
For some of us, it comes and goes with no in-between.
For others, it stays where it is unknown to the reasons why most of the time.
Just accept anything, everything off anybody and everybody.
We are just human with things we can and can't control. 29.12.2016
Don't get me wrong.
Don't get me wrong, not everything is down to Mental health, we know that.
Most of it is down to being misunderstood.
Yes, I agree we all have faults. 29. 12. 2016
Managing feelings.
Art, crafts, hobbies, interests, talents, anything you enjoy, etc is a great way of managing Mental health but it doesn't work for everyone, even counseling or both. 29.12.2016
Take me as I am or not at all.
I am happy one minute but not the next.
Sometimes there's no reason for it, other times there is.
It's just a feeling side me that can change from happy to sad then sad to happy.
No one is to blame either way. 29.12.2016
Art, crafts, hobbies, interests, talents, anything you enjoy, etc is a great way of managing Mental health but it doesn't work for everyone, even counseling or both. 29.12.2016
Take me as I am or not at all.
I am happy one minute but not the next.
Sometimes there's no reason for it, other times there is.
It's just a feeling side me that can change from happy to sad then sad to happy.
No one is to blame either way. 29.12.2016
Will the sad feeling ever end?
Mental health isn't always a sad feeling, we go through times of feeling happy and sad just like everyone but the difference is how often we do to those who don't face Mental health.
The sad feeling can last however long or short it going to be but to us, it can feel long even if it's short because it can be the unknown.
You can feel the way you do with or without reason and no one really knows why, it's just the feeling inside the person.
Anxiety can link with Depression because you worry, panic, or even fear over things that most don't seem to be as bad as they do seem.
In the time of sadness, it's hard to have faith and positive in yourself until somehow, someway that feeling passes but then you wonder whether or not you going to get through, which is why you may be saying things you wouldn't say and even do in a happy state of mind.
It can vary from time to time and even person to person.
Never think to those who suffer from Mental health is how life will end, it will either will or won't be the same with disability too. 29.12.2016.
Mental health isn't always a sad feeling, we go through times of feeling happy and sad just like everyone but the difference is how often we do to those who don't face Mental health.
The sad feeling can last however long or short it going to be but to us, it can feel long even if it's short because it can be the unknown.
You can feel the way you do with or without reason and no one really knows why, it's just the feeling inside the person.
Anxiety can link with Depression because you worry, panic, or even fear over things that most don't seem to be as bad as they do seem.
In the time of sadness, it's hard to have faith and positive in yourself until somehow, someway that feeling passes but then you wonder whether or not you going to get through, which is why you may be saying things you wouldn't say and even do in a happy state of mind.
It can vary from time to time and even person to person.
Never think to those who suffer from Mental health is how life will end, it will either will or won't be the same with disability too. 29.12.2016.
Can't bring me to say.
I can't bring myself to say, I shouldn't say, I should get over it, it's so wrong.
I feel so much guilt and so much shame.
I'm a numbers year old than you so I should be a number of years wiser.
I know and accept that you don't feel the same way.
I shouldn't feel like this, I don't know you in person and we live so far away.
I just don't know why I feel this way.
You don't have to be so easygoing about this.
If I write I may learn to live with this feeling inside of me.
This is not good, I can't risk losing such a great friendship.
I can't bring myself to say, hello I love you but then I shouldn't feel or say that.
This isn't real, it's just a story in my mind, it's all fiction but no dream. 9.12.2017
I can't bring myself to say, I shouldn't say, I should get over it, it's so wrong.
I feel so much guilt and so much shame.
I'm a numbers year old than you so I should be a number of years wiser.
I know and accept that you don't feel the same way.
I shouldn't feel like this, I don't know you in person and we live so far away.
I just don't know why I feel this way.
You don't have to be so easygoing about this.
If I write I may learn to live with this feeling inside of me.
This is not good, I can't risk losing such a great friendship.
I can't bring myself to say, hello I love you but then I shouldn't feel or say that.
This isn't real, it's just a story in my mind, it's all fiction but no dream. 9.12.2017
I thought I failed you but you failed me.
Why didn't I walk away from you sooner?
I shouldn't have had you back.
How foolish I was to think you would change.
I had no reason to stay with you other than how I felt about it, which is now nothing at all.
Don't know what got over me, I must have been out of my mind.
I stopped loving you eight years ago after thirteen and a half years.
Back in 2003, I fell in love with someone else as well as you but I made myself get over it why didn't you?
You just went off with her but that's okay I would care now what you do, anyone is welcome to you.
I wish I would have gotten over you sooner not later.
No way am I getting myself down to your level. 9.10.2017
Why didn't I walk away from you sooner?
I shouldn't have had you back.
How foolish I was to think you would change.
I had no reason to stay with you other than how I felt about it, which is now nothing at all.
Don't know what got over me, I must have been out of my mind.
I stopped loving you eight years ago after thirteen and a half years.
Back in 2003, I fell in love with someone else as well as you but I made myself get over it why didn't you?
You just went off with her but that's okay I would care now what you do, anyone is welcome to you.
I wish I would have gotten over you sooner not later.
No way am I getting myself down to your level. 9.10.2017
I never saw the light.
No one seemed to agree with my thoughts and as years went on, I saw the light that I was wrong and they were right.
For twelve months my head was just in the sand back between my hands in 1996 to 1997.
All I saw was a dark tunnel each hour, minute, second of every day.
No light ever seemed to come my way.
Loneliness was just a cloud as couples walked past, therefore I thought this wouldn't happen to me again.
That's how I thought my life was going to be.
Found for me to make one hard choice to love or loneliness but then I found it hard to get too close again.
I lost all trust in everyone but felt so bad for feeling this way.
I spent a lot of time worrying that I would meet the wrong person and get myself hurt again.
As right or wrong people may be, it's best to let people in these states of mind be themselves, in their own time some may see the light.
If you ask me what I think I will tell you but I will never tell you what and what not to do.
I will be there for you and I will never judge you, I know what this feels like, I have been there myself.
How can I love without being blind I used to ask myself?
I went through this fear for such a long time.
I had no trust in anyone at all yet I felt so bad about it.
Therefore I left people to carry on talking and telling their thoughts, which I was blind to.
I used to think I might as well live my life in sin because I feared getting hurt again.
Now I wouldn't say I'm one hundred percent me again but I'm ten times better than I was then.
Oh yes back then I wouldn't think I would be where I am today, which is why I would never say to anyone you will get there, I listen, understand, and let them make their own choices. 11.12.2017
No one seemed to agree with my thoughts and as years went on, I saw the light that I was wrong and they were right.
For twelve months my head was just in the sand back between my hands in 1996 to 1997.
All I saw was a dark tunnel each hour, minute, second of every day.
No light ever seemed to come my way.
Loneliness was just a cloud as couples walked past, therefore I thought this wouldn't happen to me again.
That's how I thought my life was going to be.
Found for me to make one hard choice to love or loneliness but then I found it hard to get too close again.
I lost all trust in everyone but felt so bad for feeling this way.
I spent a lot of time worrying that I would meet the wrong person and get myself hurt again.
As right or wrong people may be, it's best to let people in these states of mind be themselves, in their own time some may see the light.
If you ask me what I think I will tell you but I will never tell you what and what not to do.
I will be there for you and I will never judge you, I know what this feels like, I have been there myself.
How can I love without being blind I used to ask myself?
I went through this fear for such a long time.
I had no trust in anyone at all yet I felt so bad about it.
Therefore I left people to carry on talking and telling their thoughts, which I was blind to.
I used to think I might as well live my life in sin because I feared getting hurt again.
Now I wouldn't say I'm one hundred percent me again but I'm ten times better than I was then.
Oh yes back then I wouldn't think I would be where I am today, which is why I would never say to anyone you will get there, I listen, understand, and let them make their own choices. 11.12.2017
Late-night snow.
Only time will tell when the snow goes.
As the snow turns to water from the rain, then ice so we must think twice as the cold goes into the freezing light.
Open the curtains and blind; turn on the lights through the dark dull grey days as the dark evenings start to get close.
The morning comes to light with the sun shining down on melting the ice, though the flight over the overnight frozen ice might bite. 9.12.2017
It seems so far away or not at all.
Never judge what it's like for people because you just don't know.
Nothing is the same for everyone.
I felt the darkness that I thought was going to last forevermore.
I was amazed I moved forward at all, then I saw the light coming from the dark and I just didn't feel the same for him at all as I used. 11.12.2017
Only time will tell when the snow goes.
As the snow turns to water from the rain, then ice so we must think twice as the cold goes into the freezing light.
Open the curtains and blind; turn on the lights through the dark dull grey days as the dark evenings start to get close.
The morning comes to light with the sun shining down on melting the ice, though the flight over the overnight frozen ice might bite. 9.12.2017
It seems so far away or not at all.
Never judge what it's like for people because you just don't know.
Nothing is the same for everyone.
I felt the darkness that I thought was going to last forevermore.
I was amazed I moved forward at all, then I saw the light coming from the dark and I just didn't feel the same for him at all as I used. 11.12.2017
You don't beat me.
Sticks and stones could throw me, say nasty words to me but no more could you ever break my bones.
Nothing you say and do anymore will never ever hurt me or kill me.
Don't try to creep with your words you will never again thrill me.
I feel nothing for you now, nothing at all.
Now you have left my mind.
Thank goodness I won't hear you or see you anymore, I don't miss you at all anymore. 12.12.2017
Anxiety going through my mind.
I lay asleep and then woke up to see deep snow.
The clouds were grey with a windy wintery cold breeze of fresh.
The trees drifted into the breeze.
Although the doors were locked wind blew snow right into the countryside.
The winds blew high right across the sky.
The moon shone brightly with shining stars into the morning light.
Therefore I blew like a kite going through the light with such a fight.
There came the thundering and lighting with a fright.
There was darkness then came into the light.
It was such a very wild site into the night. 17. 12.2017
Sticks and stones could throw me, say nasty words to me but no more could you ever break my bones.
Nothing you say and do anymore will never ever hurt me or kill me.
Don't try to creep with your words you will never again thrill me.
I feel nothing for you now, nothing at all.
Now you have left my mind.
Thank goodness I won't hear you or see you anymore, I don't miss you at all anymore. 12.12.2017
Anxiety going through my mind.
I lay asleep and then woke up to see deep snow.
The clouds were grey with a windy wintery cold breeze of fresh.
The trees drifted into the breeze.
Although the doors were locked wind blew snow right into the countryside.
The winds blew high right across the sky.
The moon shone brightly with shining stars into the morning light.
Therefore I blew like a kite going through the light with such a fight.
There came the thundering and lighting with a fright.
There was darkness then came into the light.
It was such a very wild site into the night. 17. 12.2017
Me as I was, me as I am now.
I was just a child with thick long brushy hair that blew with the wind.
Now my hair is as grey as hills.
Now tiredness is hitting me with the cold and the wind.
At the age of ten, I spaned my ankle running up the hill.
Winter days, winter nights, and frostbites.
The skies are wintery, sients and grey as there are handy any people about because it's just too cold to go out, everywhere just comes to a standstill.
Short grey days turn to the long dark the night as the moon and stars don't shine a bright light. 17.12.2017
Just the way it is.
Yes to my shame I feel as I do about you, never mind, I will cope to see it through.
I don't mean this in a nasty way, only that it's not fair on you that I feel this way.
I'm not forcing you to do what you don't want to, I know that you don't want me to.
Yes, I know it's wrong, mainly more so as we live so far away from one another, I shouldn't expect you to feel the same, it's my problem, not yours.
Just take no notice of me, nothing wrong with you, I'm just foolish you see, shame on me.
I have only embarrassed myself, I must and will let it pass.
I'm going to fight it, I'm no cheat but I'm just a silly old fool, I have a love that means too much for me to throw away.
I only hope someday you will meet the love that means so much to you, a sorry inconvenience I may have caused you, it's just me and my foolish mind.
Those thoughts have got to pass from me not you.
They will pass soon enough, don't worry. 18.12.2017
I was just a child with thick long brushy hair that blew with the wind.
Now my hair is as grey as hills.
Now tiredness is hitting me with the cold and the wind.
At the age of ten, I spaned my ankle running up the hill.
Winter days, winter nights, and frostbites.
The skies are wintery, sients and grey as there are handy any people about because it's just too cold to go out, everywhere just comes to a standstill.
Short grey days turn to the long dark the night as the moon and stars don't shine a bright light. 17.12.2017
Just the way it is.
Yes to my shame I feel as I do about you, never mind, I will cope to see it through.
I don't mean this in a nasty way, only that it's not fair on you that I feel this way.
I'm not forcing you to do what you don't want to, I know that you don't want me to.
Yes, I know it's wrong, mainly more so as we live so far away from one another, I shouldn't expect you to feel the same, it's my problem, not yours.
Just take no notice of me, nothing wrong with you, I'm just foolish you see, shame on me.
I have only embarrassed myself, I must and will let it pass.
I'm going to fight it, I'm no cheat but I'm just a silly old fool, I have a love that means too much for me to throw away.
I only hope someday you will meet the love that means so much to you, a sorry inconvenience I may have caused you, it's just me and my foolish mind.
Those thoughts have got to pass from me not you.
They will pass soon enough, don't worry. 18.12.2017
Your number one.
You mean too much to me to throw what we have together all away, take no notice of me, it's all passing and you may not believe me but nothing has happened.
He's just a friend, he's not interested and he lives so far away from me.
Shame me, no fault of your or his.
Even though I hardly see you at all, you are my world.
Eight years of friendship, passion, and love.
There's no way there's anyone else, I just miss you so much.
There's nothing to worry about there's just no way am I seeing him.
Sorry, I must train my foolish mind.
My age and mind should know better now, I have to control it, I will fight it. 18.12. 2017
So I need to leave you alone.
Yes I need to leave you alone, please don't be mad at me, I'm just a silly old fool you see.
Yes I know you don't need to tell me, you don't feel the same way, just take no notice of me. 18.12.2017.
You mean too much to me to throw what we have together all away, take no notice of me, it's all passing and you may not believe me but nothing has happened.
He's just a friend, he's not interested and he lives so far away from me.
Shame me, no fault of your or his.
Even though I hardly see you at all, you are my world.
Eight years of friendship, passion, and love.
There's no way there's anyone else, I just miss you so much.
There's nothing to worry about there's just no way am I seeing him.
Sorry, I must train my foolish mind.
My age and mind should know better now, I have to control it, I will fight it. 18.12. 2017
So I need to leave you alone.
Yes I need to leave you alone, please don't be mad at me, I'm just a silly old fool you see.
Yes I know you don't need to tell me, you don't feel the same way, just take no notice of me. 18.12.2017.
What happened to you?
What happened to you?
If only you could tell me.
All the time you have gone, I've done nothing but ask myself questions that I can't answer.
Yes' I know you wouldn't have me back but I wouldn't have you back either but I wish you were living.
It's never been the same without your big smiling face and your crazy sense of humor.
Who would have thought we would lose you so soon?
Nothing seems to make sense even after seven years of you leaving this earth.
This isn't right.
I know you never got over the love of your life, which I know wasn't me.
Words could not explain how I feel and my emotions are very mixed.
I never knew your thoughts about me, it just seemed as if you never felt the same as I did.
Okay, we tried and it didn't work but we were still very good friends to the very end. 18. 12. 2017
What happened to you?
If only you could tell me.
All the time you have gone, I've done nothing but ask myself questions that I can't answer.
Yes' I know you wouldn't have me back but I wouldn't have you back either but I wish you were living.
It's never been the same without your big smiling face and your crazy sense of humor.
Who would have thought we would lose you so soon?
Nothing seems to make sense even after seven years of you leaving this earth.
This isn't right.
I know you never got over the love of your life, which I know wasn't me.
Words could not explain how I feel and my emotions are very mixed.
I never knew your thoughts about me, it just seemed as if you never felt the same as I did.
Okay, we tried and it didn't work but we were still very good friends to the very end. 18. 12. 2017
So I'm tired.
So I'm tired the night ends now.
What you may think is wrong so do I, don't worry I'm not waiting for you.
I'm just writing poetry so I can learn to live with my feelings and thoughts.
I need to see the light through this foolish mind of mine.
Just go ahead because I'm off to bed to face whatever happens next when I wake up.
This is not poetry, not words, not talent, just my way of living with what goes through my mind and my head.
If only I could see what's ahead of me.
I'm closing 2017 on twenty years of poetry about love, passion, romance, emotion, and many topics; happy, sad, my way of coping with the ups as well as downs in life, and the lives of people I know. 18.12.2017
So I'm tired the night ends now.
What you may think is wrong so do I, don't worry I'm not waiting for you.
I'm just writing poetry so I can learn to live with my feelings and thoughts.
I need to see the light through this foolish mind of mine.
Just go ahead because I'm off to bed to face whatever happens next when I wake up.
This is not poetry, not words, not talent, just my way of living with what goes through my mind and my head.
If only I could see what's ahead of me.
I'm closing 2017 on twenty years of poetry about love, passion, romance, emotion, and many topics; happy, sad, my way of coping with the ups as well as downs in life, and the lives of people I know. 18.12.2017
Just waiting to talk.
Not trying to get with you.
Just want to be your friend.
Not forcing you into anything you don't want to do.
If you don't want to talk, that's okay I understand.
If you think I don't understand, I accept that even though I know you want to be alone but then you don't.
Don't be afraid to talk to me if you want, sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable, just concerned about you that's all.
It's not a problem if you don't want to reply at all or you want to.
Been there myself and I know more than anything it's not easy.
Nothing seems to make you happy whatever you've been down that road more than once and never really understood why I felt like I did.
There was no winning what I did, it just seemed as if every day was the end of me but somehow someway I got through to be still here today. 18.12.2017
It's that time of the year again.
It's that time of the year again coming to an end when you're wondering what's ahead.
Time goes too fast and neither of us is getting any younger.
Soon be January again, then soon will be the winter blues.
Depression is a sign of lowness but somehow we must get through which is easy to say if we have times we feel we can't get through. 18. 12.2017
Not trying to get with you.
Just want to be your friend.
Not forcing you into anything you don't want to do.
If you don't want to talk, that's okay I understand.
If you think I don't understand, I accept that even though I know you want to be alone but then you don't.
Don't be afraid to talk to me if you want, sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable, just concerned about you that's all.
It's not a problem if you don't want to reply at all or you want to.
Been there myself and I know more than anything it's not easy.
Nothing seems to make you happy whatever you've been down that road more than once and never really understood why I felt like I did.
There was no winning what I did, it just seemed as if every day was the end of me but somehow someway I got through to be still here today. 18.12.2017
It's that time of the year again.
It's that time of the year again coming to an end when you're wondering what's ahead.
Time goes too fast and neither of us is getting any younger.
Soon be January again, then soon will be the winter blues.
Depression is a sign of lowness but somehow we must get through which is easy to say if we have times we feel we can't get through. 18. 12.2017
Too late now.
You said before that you had long walked out the door.
No' I think you will find that's the other way round because I left you in the end.
I can only say that you play mind games with my head and thank goodness I'm away from that now.
Now I have discovered my life is so better without than I ever thought it would be.
To think there was a time that you were my world and nothing else mattered now I don't want to be anywhere near you and I don't feel a damn thing for you.
Now I give a damn what you think of me now because you know that when I loved you so much, you never gave a damn what I thought of you.
Never thought I'd stop feeling the way I did because I loved you for so long but when I realized you didn't really love me because you kept changing your mind whether you loved me or not so you didn't love me at all.
Once I stopped loving you that's when you decide to love me after all, I don't need to have someone else in my life to tell you that it's too late for you to even try to love me again whether I'm on my own or not.
Since I have discovered my life without you, I realized how many years of my life I waste been with a man who didn't me at all but really pretended he did.
You once poisoned my brain but now you don't hurt me anymore.
I didn't know what direction to turn.
You just wouldn't understand and believe me I don't want you to because it's too late for that Ant.
With a lot of counseling and writing, a lot of poetry has helped through this damn mess you put me but others may find other ways of trying to move on from people who don't know what they won't like you. 13. 12. 2017
You said before that you had long walked out the door.
No' I think you will find that's the other way round because I left you in the end.
I can only say that you play mind games with my head and thank goodness I'm away from that now.
Now I have discovered my life is so better without than I ever thought it would be.
To think there was a time that you were my world and nothing else mattered now I don't want to be anywhere near you and I don't feel a damn thing for you.
Now I give a damn what you think of me now because you know that when I loved you so much, you never gave a damn what I thought of you.
Never thought I'd stop feeling the way I did because I loved you for so long but when I realized you didn't really love me because you kept changing your mind whether you loved me or not so you didn't love me at all.
Once I stopped loving you that's when you decide to love me after all, I don't need to have someone else in my life to tell you that it's too late for you to even try to love me again whether I'm on my own or not.
Since I have discovered my life without you, I realized how many years of my life I waste been with a man who didn't me at all but really pretended he did.
You once poisoned my brain but now you don't hurt me anymore.
I didn't know what direction to turn.
You just wouldn't understand and believe me I don't want you to because it's too late for that Ant.
With a lot of counseling and writing, a lot of poetry has helped through this damn mess you put me but others may find other ways of trying to move on from people who don't know what they won't like you. 13. 12. 2017
DON'T GIVE UP.
Everything cost too much and not enough to pay for it.
We don't expect to please everyone but there are times we feel as if we please no one, we can't always win so don't let them get the better of you.
We fail, we pass, we win, we lose nothing should stay the same every time.
It seems as if everything we touch we break, people look at us as if we are a complete disgrace, face up to them and don't walk away, don't give up. 23.12.2018
Everything cost too much and not enough to pay for it.
We don't expect to please everyone but there are times we feel as if we please no one, we can't always win so don't let them get the better of you.
We fail, we pass, we win, we lose nothing should stay the same every time.
It seems as if everything we touch we break, people look at us as if we are a complete disgrace, face up to them and don't walk away, don't give up. 23.12.2018
How long can I keep fighting this feeling with myself?
It feels so wrong of me because I don't expect you to feel the same way or and you don't.
Don't you feel guilty or ashamed I should accept you don't feel the same as I do even though I have feelings inside of me, which is guilt when I shouldn't?
Trying not to feel this way is such a challenge for me but that's not your problem, I need to learn to not feel this way.
I have no rights to force you into what and who you don't want, which I won't do.
How dare I?
Those feelings I must control.
I need to deal with my feelings.
I'm no spoiled child who excepts to get her own way.
Not that you're not a nice guy, I just need to accept that you don't feel the same as I do.
I just can't explain why I feel this way.
It feels so wrong of me because I don't expect you to feel the same way or and you don't.
Don't you feel guilty or ashamed I should accept you don't feel the same as I do even though I have feelings inside of me, which is guilt when I shouldn't?
Trying not to feel this way is such a challenge for me but that's not your problem, I need to learn to not feel this way.
I have no rights to force you into what and who you don't want, which I won't do.
How dare I?
Those feelings I must control.
I need to deal with my feelings.
I'm no spoiled child who excepts to get her own way.
Not that you're not a nice guy, I just need to accept that you don't feel the same as I do.
I just can't explain why I feel this way.
I feel a lot of shame for myself yet no shame at all.
I feel shame for how I feel but I haven't done anything.
All the same, I feel shame even though there's no action made, it's just the way I feel inside for you that makes me feel ashamed because there's no reason why you should or shouldn't feel the same for me.
I wish this feeling would go away but I have no reason to hate you either.
Just so sorry, it's so unfair on you when all you want from me are friends.
Must deal with this in my own way without saying anything to you, just write about it.
I'm torn between the two of you but there's no action yet I feel like a fool because I don't want to hurt anyone yet I'm hurting myself, feeling like this feels so wrong even though only one of you feels the same.
How silly to try and fight when I have someone in my life already, I have no intentions of lying, cheating, or playing around I just feel I need to deal with to decide one way or the other, then the choice is already been made for me when one feels the same and the other doesn't.
I feel shame for how I feel but I haven't done anything.
All the same, I feel shame even though there's no action made, it's just the way I feel inside for you that makes me feel ashamed because there's no reason why you should or shouldn't feel the same for me.
I wish this feeling would go away but I have no reason to hate you either.
Just so sorry, it's so unfair on you when all you want from me are friends.
Must deal with this in my own way without saying anything to you, just write about it.
I'm torn between the two of you but there's no action yet I feel like a fool because I don't want to hurt anyone yet I'm hurting myself, feeling like this feels so wrong even though only one of you feels the same.
How silly to try and fight when I have someone in my life already, I have no intentions of lying, cheating, or playing around I just feel I need to deal with to decide one way or the other, then the choice is already been made for me when one feels the same and the other doesn't.
It's been a long end of the road.
I walked out of your life so long ago.
How I have had a lucky space even though I should have walked away a lot longer before I did.
You hurt me so much to a point it cut me up like a knife.
Now you don't stop me from doing what I don't want to do.
You don't put me off trying anything I want to try.
Now slowly I'm building trust in others.
Now your history, anything I do has no business of yours, you have no control over me no more.
your excuses were always your past so you used to say and I guess both of us were to blame for that, which is why you should stay single until you are ready to not take out on others what you have been through.
You don't abuse to abuse, how dare you.
Try to put yourself in someone else's shoes but now I guess it's too late for you to learn that now!
I walked out of your life so long ago.
How I have had a lucky space even though I should have walked away a lot longer before I did.
You hurt me so much to a point it cut me up like a knife.
Now you don't stop me from doing what I don't want to do.
You don't put me off trying anything I want to try.
Now slowly I'm building trust in others.
Now your history, anything I do has no business of yours, you have no control over me no more.
your excuses were always your past so you used to say and I guess both of us were to blame for that, which is why you should stay single until you are ready to not take out on others what you have been through.
You don't abuse to abuse, how dare you.
Try to put yourself in someone else's shoes but now I guess it's too late for you to learn that now!
You are who you are, just be yourself.
My mistake was I gave too many chances but no more.
I spent too much time blaming myself cause many of my ex's never admitted their faults.
So Dad, choose your drugs over your kids and just walk away, will you!
No one is born to deserve you turning your back.
You messed my mind up as a kid wondering who you really were till I saw you when I was twenty-one.
It's hard to understand why I broke down over you feeling as if you didn't want me but then don't worry I got used to you not being there.
For a long time, it ripped my mind apart but not anymore.
Here I'm fighting Mental abuse from a man who I thought loved me for 13 and a half years but then, in the end, all that was a lie.
The best thing I ever did was walk away from him.
None of you have still dragged me to the ground, I'm still alive.
I never understood why I had such a breakdown over you.
My mistake was I gave too many chances but no more.
I spent too much time blaming myself cause many of my ex's never admitted their faults.
So Dad, choose your drugs over your kids and just walk away, will you!
No one is born to deserve you turning your back.
You messed my mind up as a kid wondering who you really were till I saw you when I was twenty-one.
It's hard to understand why I broke down over you feeling as if you didn't want me but then don't worry I got used to you not being there.
For a long time, it ripped my mind apart but not anymore.
Here I'm fighting Mental abuse from a man who I thought loved me for 13 and a half years but then, in the end, all that was a lie.
The best thing I ever did was walk away from him.
None of you have still dragged me to the ground, I'm still alive.
I never understood why I had such a breakdown over you.
So much has made me change my mind and feelings about you.
I used to think that you made me feel sick with guilt inside but years went by realizing that I'm not the only one to blame it's you.
It was never your fault was it, it was always mine every single time in your eyes?
You let me down so bad and you taught me a lesson, that lesson was that you are not the man for me.
The only thing I can thank you for is making me strong.
Thank you for driving me away from you.
May have taken a long time but I have done it and finally saw the light at the end of the tunnel.
Thank you for letting me find myself again.
All I need to do now is fight the memories away I had with you.
None of your business whether I'm with anyone else or not.
I won't be sad no more from you, the only sad person is you for letting me go.
Who made out you loved me but really you never did.
You only have yourself to blame.
The only way I feel sorry for you is not in an emotional way but only that you throw away those who really loved you, I was one of them or the only one and now I hate you.
You never knew where your bread was buttered.
So you made your bed so you lie in it.
I used to think that you made me feel sick with guilt inside but years went by realizing that I'm not the only one to blame it's you.
It was never your fault was it, it was always mine every single time in your eyes?
You let me down so bad and you taught me a lesson, that lesson was that you are not the man for me.
The only thing I can thank you for is making me strong.
Thank you for driving me away from you.
May have taken a long time but I have done it and finally saw the light at the end of the tunnel.
Thank you for letting me find myself again.
All I need to do now is fight the memories away I had with you.
None of your business whether I'm with anyone else or not.
I won't be sad no more from you, the only sad person is you for letting me go.
Who made out you loved me but really you never did.
You only have yourself to blame.
The only way I feel sorry for you is not in an emotional way but only that you throw away those who really loved you, I was one of them or the only one and now I hate you.
You never knew where your bread was buttered.
So you made your bed so you lie in it.
so unknown yet again.
So I believe there's no perfect life and we can't except either.
No one is happy all the time but no one should be sad all the time either.
Wake up from your silly dream Sara, it's just going to happen least you don't think it is.
You can't force someone to love you who doesn't no matter how much you want them.
You need to accept what life throws at you whether you like it or not.
Patience is the word, who knows what's round the condor and who, don't chase it and don't think about it.
You know you have learned hard way no matter how hard it hurts.
We are all sensitive in our way, stop acting like a spoiled child!
You know you can't have your own way.
Keep writing the poems, like lines I mustn't have feelings for this man, he's not interested in me!
Emotions are sensitive to accepting how life is but must learn.
So I believe there's no perfect life and we can't except either.
No one is happy all the time but no one should be sad all the time either.
Wake up from your silly dream Sara, it's just going to happen least you don't think it is.
You can't force someone to love you who doesn't no matter how much you want them.
You need to accept what life throws at you whether you like it or not.
Patience is the word, who knows what's round the condor and who, don't chase it and don't think about it.
You know you have learned hard way no matter how hard it hurts.
We are all sensitive in our way, stop acting like a spoiled child!
You know you can't have your own way.
Keep writing the poems, like lines I mustn't have feelings for this man, he's not interested in me!
Emotions are sensitive to accepting how life is but must learn.
I say no more.
I say no more, you most likely have a rough idea even though I only made you aware once.
I don't say a lot about it because I know you don't feel the same way, that's okay the shame is on me not you.
I don't expect to feel the same as I do, please say if you do.
I'm a big girl now, I can take it as a woman.
Can't expect things to go my way all the while, I'm no spoiled child.
I'm no special and I understand other reasons for what you told me which I know aren't about me, I respect you too much to say why you don't feel about me in the same way.
I would never expect you to believe I understand even though I do cause I have been through the same too.
I don't accept anything from you more than just friends even though I feel more, this is my own problem feeling the way I do not yours, but no way is it against you are far too special to me for that.
They say if you love someone let them go, which is true but very hard to do.
If only for your sake I didn't feel as I do, as you don't feel the same this is not fair on you to have me pestering you.
Never feel bad about not feeling the same way, it's me who should and does the other way round.
Never try to be anyone but yourself.
It's for me to deal with, you have no shame, no guilt only I do, not that you're a very nice guy cause you are which is why I feel as I do because don't have to feel the same, no reason why you should or shouldn't.
I say no more, you most likely have a rough idea even though I only made you aware once.
I don't say a lot about it because I know you don't feel the same way, that's okay the shame is on me not you.
I don't expect to feel the same as I do, please say if you do.
I'm a big girl now, I can take it as a woman.
Can't expect things to go my way all the while, I'm no spoiled child.
I'm no special and I understand other reasons for what you told me which I know aren't about me, I respect you too much to say why you don't feel about me in the same way.
I would never expect you to believe I understand even though I do cause I have been through the same too.
I don't accept anything from you more than just friends even though I feel more, this is my own problem feeling the way I do not yours, but no way is it against you are far too special to me for that.
They say if you love someone let them go, which is true but very hard to do.
If only for your sake I didn't feel as I do, as you don't feel the same this is not fair on you to have me pestering you.
Never feel bad about not feeling the same way, it's me who should and does the other way round.
Never try to be anyone but yourself.
It's for me to deal with, you have no shame, no guilt only I do, not that you're a very nice guy cause you are which is why I feel as I do because don't have to feel the same, no reason why you should or shouldn't.
I try not to feel this way about you but I do.
Just can't put my finger on why I like you so much.
Ir seems so wrong because I don't expect you to feel the same way, which is really why I find it hard to tell you how I feel and that I don't want to force you to feel the same as I do.
Therefore this is for me to cope with not you, not your problem at all but mine because you don't have to feel the same way unless you do.
Only I have to put these feelings behind me.
Somehow I have to work on that because somehow I know it's not going to happen even though I hope I'm wrong.
Just ever so often I ask myself so many unanswered questions that can't be answered, which I don't even know how to answer myself.
It's just a shame we don't live near to one another but then it may be just as well, not sure whether or not I could keep to myself if I was to see you, I wouldn't want to make you feel as if you have to be with me if you don't want to be.
Only sorry for feeling the way I do but like I said you don't have to feel the same unless you do and want to.
The feeling of guilt is just way too much for me, which I feel whether it's right or wrong.
Don't expect to believe this because you don't know me like I know me naturally, know you didn't say I was or wasn't I'm no cheat, liar, etc that doesn't mean you have to want me.
I know you don't feel this way which is okay, why should the world be around me, it shouldn't be?
Just can't put my finger on why I like you so much.
Ir seems so wrong because I don't expect you to feel the same way, which is really why I find it hard to tell you how I feel and that I don't want to force you to feel the same as I do.
Therefore this is for me to cope with not you, not your problem at all but mine because you don't have to feel the same way unless you do.
Only I have to put these feelings behind me.
Somehow I have to work on that because somehow I know it's not going to happen even though I hope I'm wrong.
Just ever so often I ask myself so many unanswered questions that can't be answered, which I don't even know how to answer myself.
It's just a shame we don't live near to one another but then it may be just as well, not sure whether or not I could keep to myself if I was to see you, I wouldn't want to make you feel as if you have to be with me if you don't want to be.
Only sorry for feeling the way I do but like I said you don't have to feel the same unless you do and want to.
The feeling of guilt is just way too much for me, which I feel whether it's right or wrong.
Don't expect to believe this because you don't know me like I know me naturally, know you didn't say I was or wasn't I'm no cheat, liar, etc that doesn't mean you have to want me.
I know you don't feel this way which is okay, why should the world be around me, it shouldn't be?
I can't expect everything to go my way.
Another reason why I haven't said much to you is that you're just far too special to me, I'm eight years older than you is one of the reasons why I don't expect you to be interested in me, only if you are.
Another reason why I haven't said much to you is that you're just far too special to me, I'm eight years older than you is one of the reasons why I don't expect you to be interested in me, only if you are.
How do I know?
Why didn't you travel in the same transport as me even though you weren't stopping the night with me?
So you met her when she said she was with someone else.
Would you have gone with her if she was interested in you?
Why do I feel like a rebound because she wants to be with someone else?
Here I go again letting you men walk over me, I'm getting too old for this now.
Had enough don't know how much I can take of this before I break.
I shouldn't feel sorry for myself I know, who going to love me for once?
Almost as if I have lost my figure and my looks yet when I had those I was used and abused by a good many of my exes.
Heading to the 50s it feels as if nothing is left.
Don't want you to feel sorry for me, just be honest with me if you love me for me.
I once thought I had the world at my feet but I was with users and abusers who never really loved me.
I want to be able to forget the past and the bad boys just bring one good man.
Go away bad boys you did me no good.
Here's to you whoever you may be.
I know you are there and I know you hiding somewhere from me, wherever you may be Mr. Right to be.
Why didn't you travel in the same transport as me even though you weren't stopping the night with me?
So you met her when she said she was with someone else.
Would you have gone with her if she was interested in you?
Why do I feel like a rebound because she wants to be with someone else?
Here I go again letting you men walk over me, I'm getting too old for this now.
Had enough don't know how much I can take of this before I break.
I shouldn't feel sorry for myself I know, who going to love me for once?
Almost as if I have lost my figure and my looks yet when I had those I was used and abused by a good many of my exes.
Heading to the 50s it feels as if nothing is left.
Don't want you to feel sorry for me, just be honest with me if you love me for me.
I once thought I had the world at my feet but I was with users and abusers who never really loved me.
I want to be able to forget the past and the bad boys just bring one good man.
Go away bad boys you did me no good.
Here's to you whoever you may be.
I know you are there and I know you hiding somewhere from me, wherever you may be Mr. Right to be.
You never thought I'd leave, did you?
What goes around comes around.
When I said one day I was going to leave, you didn't believe me, did you?
You thought and you hoped I was lying, how wrong were you?
Although you never said anything I know that's what you were thinking so you could spend forever playing games with my mind.
You just thought I was weak enough to stop in your life forever and accepted it when you decided when the relationship was on and when it was off.
Okay, it took me a long time to leave you but I left you.
I know when I was gone you wanted me back in your life but no because you won't see me again.
It's too late for you to say sorry beg for forgiveness now. 3.2.2019
What goes around comes around.
When I said one day I was going to leave, you didn't believe me, did you?
You thought and you hoped I was lying, how wrong were you?
Although you never said anything I know that's what you were thinking so you could spend forever playing games with my mind.
You just thought I was weak enough to stop in your life forever and accepted it when you decided when the relationship was on and when it was off.
Okay, it took me a long time to leave you but I left you.
I know when I was gone you wanted me back in your life but no because you won't see me again.
It's too late for you to say sorry beg for forgiveness now. 3.2.2019
I have long gone now.
I realized you were the wrong person for me but now I have met the right person.
I realized how much time I wasted with you without knowing you didn't really love me, you only pretended to, now I don't love you anymore either.
I find so many years later I meet someone twice to three times the man you were and probably still are.
You have done far too much damage for me to ever like or love you again, in fact, I just hate you so much for what you did to me, and for quite some years now I have been out of your life.
I love a grown man, not a grown boy who plays with his toys.
You can't play games with my thoughts, feelings, and mind now cause I'm out of your life for good.
There's no going back, coming and looking back, it's far too late to say you are sorry now.
Sorry but I don't regret walking away from you it's the best thing I ever did, the worst was to go with you and give you a second chance after you dumped me the first time then you dumped me again.
No more crying, no more sleepless nights, and no more wasting my time over you.
I realized you were the wrong person for me but now I have met the right person.
I realized how much time I wasted with you without knowing you didn't really love me, you only pretended to, now I don't love you anymore either.
I find so many years later I meet someone twice to three times the man you were and probably still are.
You have done far too much damage for me to ever like or love you again, in fact, I just hate you so much for what you did to me, and for quite some years now I have been out of your life.
I love a grown man, not a grown boy who plays with his toys.
You can't play games with my thoughts, feelings, and mind now cause I'm out of your life for good.
There's no going back, coming and looking back, it's far too late to say you are sorry now.
Sorry but I don't regret walking away from you it's the best thing I ever did, the worst was to go with you and give you a second chance after you dumped me the first time then you dumped me again.
No more crying, no more sleepless nights, and no more wasting my time over you.
No more headaches and heartaches over you.
No more hanging around waiting for you to love me than not to love me.
I haven't done so for some years and I don't intend to again.
Since I wrote one of my poems about you back in Feb 2009, I haven't felt any love for you since.
Now I love someone who loves me ten times more than you.
He doesn't play games with my mind and he doesn't waste my time.
I realized what a fool I was to go with you all those years.
When we broke up the first and the second time I saw no light at the end of the tunnel, I thought I would never anyone else again but I was wrong.
In the end, I did what I said I was going to do, which was walk away from you for good, which I should have done a long time before. 3.2.2019
No more hanging around waiting for you to love me than not to love me.
I haven't done so for some years and I don't intend to again.
Since I wrote one of my poems about you back in Feb 2009, I haven't felt any love for you since.
Now I love someone who loves me ten times more than you.
He doesn't play games with my mind and he doesn't waste my time.
I realized what a fool I was to go with you all those years.
When we broke up the first and the second time I saw no light at the end of the tunnel, I thought I would never anyone else again but I was wrong.
In the end, I did what I said I was going to do, which was walk away from you for good, which I should have done a long time before. 3.2.2019
Different minds.
We all think different
We all have different minds.
It would be a boring world if we were all the same.
Some of us think how we think on purpose and others don't.
Hard to think who does what and when.
I asked myself why I think as I do but got no answers to my mind.
Let's not judge one another because we don't know one another's minds either.
Rightly or wrongly, agree or disagree let's follow the rules because the longer the government and scientists will keep this lockdown going.
This is impossible to accept because everyone's mind is so different.
It's so hard to see an end to the lockdown but never say never.
What a load of rubbish.
I don't write to be famous.
I don't chase dreams.
I am just writing because I want to.
I don't write to be right all the time because it's impossible to be right all the time.
I am just human like everyone, I get things wrong.
I am no one special, I just write and mostly a load of rubbish.
Be no one but one's yourself, never be someone you are not.
Keep on writing even if it's a load of rubbish, you never know what comes to light and mind.
I ask my mind why I think as I do, I get no answers or I go blank to a point I have no ideas to write about at all, just rubbish.
I don't write for talent.
I write what I am thinking about, not for talent.
My mind is just full of words not poems.
Yesterday has gone so it doesn't matter.
Today is here, it's today what matters.
Tomorrow we deal with it when it comes.
Something needs to be done.
We can't keep on being locked up in prison as if we have done a crime not everyone has done wrong but those who haven't have to suffer for those who have.
We know we are locked down to protect ourselves from the Coranvirus but we are risking our mental health as well.
Mental health risks are increasing as much as Coranvirus risk is so we need to draw a line.
It's now been almost a year since we were aware of the lockdown and Coronavirus.
The rules are confusing to most people and not everyone understands them, they change too quickly.
Mainly to those of us who are vulnerable.
Just only keep important places open so people can shop to feed themselves, medication, toiletries, etc.
People just want to end their pain but not their lives but many are likely to be pushed to the longer this lockdown goes on.
This could mean an increase in suicides and as well as Coranvirus deaths.
This could cause more work for counselors than ever before, which is a job that's done from home either.
Easy to forget.
So much over-talking the mind like Xmas, new year, and the Coranvirus lockdown to a point one cannot think at all.
Yes, these matters are very important but let's not forget about the snow and sunset.
Now white Christmas has come late but the white new year has early.
New year's eve afternoon to evening is lighter longer.
This chimney is smoking bright fire as the new year comes in.
On the first of January new year's day, 2021 comes to light.
Bring on the bright lights of the night as fireworks come into the dark of the night.
Spring is on its way to lighter days.
Journal poems.
How many poems I write I am not aware.
As far as I am aware they are just words.
No awareness of spelling, grammar, etc.
It's just a journal of words.
I write because my mind is thinking a lot to the point I go blank.
Dear Mind
We should be heard as well as seen, we mustn't feel afraid to say what we need to say however old or young we are.
There are times we struggle to say words to be understood.
Not everything needs to be said but some things get worse if not said.
No one should be forced to say either but no one is alone.
Not sure how I got through school with bullying and abuse.
School felt like a lifetime but I had to go, such a relief when I left for good but it wasn't all completely over so I thought when I walked to the school gates for the last time.
My words couldn't express I thought I was alone but I wasn't, I wasn't understood or believed.
Despite more awareness, there's still not enough voice, awareness, listening, or understanding to the people today so please give them a voice to talk about what they want and need.
The world is not just black and white.
The world is not just black and white.
No one is out of their minds.
No one is loopy.
No one is crazy.
No one is all happy.
No one is all sad.
No one always cries.
No one always laughs.
We are what we are and who we are.
People need help, empowerment, and support.
People do not need to be misunderstood for what they are not.
People do not need sigma.
People do not want to end their lives; they want to end their pain.
Do not feel ashamed of being not okay, it’s okay to talk to those who wish to.
Never feel ashamed about how you feel and why.
Never feel ashamed of how you think and behave.
Help is here for you, but no one can force it on you.
Only you can talk no one can make you talk.
You are not alone; others are here if you want to talk.
What is Sigma?
Sigma, judgment, and discrimination are always looking at people in a negative way, which we do not want.
If someone is down and upset a lot, someone seems angry a lot, talking about the same thing a lot, they are not crazy, mad loopy, dangerous, etc, they not feeling themselves, they may be facing mental health.
We need to put ourselves in this person’s shoes and remember that person may struggle to know why they are feeling, thinking, and behaving how they do.
In fact, they may not be aware of how they are.
It is likely they will become very sensitive and there is no real easy way of making someone aware without fearing you are going to upset them which you do not want to do.
Therefore, this is not something you need to make them aware of the possibility randomly but slowly.
We do not want to frighten people.
Even when they are aware the hardest thing for them is accepting it themselves.
So, think about what you say and how you say it.
It is not easy to know in most situations if some are aware of their own actions or not.
That person does not want to feel alone but also, wants things to be done and not done their way.
Do not force anything on them but empower them by suggesting things to them but it’s their choice if it happens or not.
All you can really do is let them know you're there for them if they want or need you. 2.1.2021
Do not create sigma.
Mental health is a condition and an illness, not someone who is round the bend because no one is round the bend.
Sigma is not when someone is crazy because no is crazy.
Sigma is not when someone is loopy.
because no one is loopy.
Mental health is a feeling and, in some cases, an unawareness of how a person is feeling.
People with Mental health can be more sensitive to life around them than other people, they are not out of their minds.
Sigma is when people judge people.
Sigma is when they cannot accept people for who and what they are.
Help, counseling, therapy, treatment, empowerment, encouragement, and support is what people need not judgment, discrimination, and sigma.
Sigma is seeing the negative in people all the time. 31.12. 2020 to 1.1. 2021
Mental health is not easy to talk about.
What is not easy to talk about in mental health is behavior because everyone’s life, health, and safety matter.
No one is saying that mental health or any other reason should excuse someone’s behavior, in fact in most people’s situations behaviors, etc there is no reason at all.
Many situations could well be down to mental health but that does not mean others or themselves should be at risk because of what they are facing.
Not all mental health situations cause a person to behave to a point where they are a danger to others as well as their selves.
There are different extremes, forms, etc of mental health.
In fact, some situation causes the person to be more so dangerous to themselves than others.
In most cases never force help onto a person and let them decide what they do and do not do.
However,’ if you have concerns, they may be a danger to themselves or others serious or even before then depending on the person and their situation, then those concerns need to be aware to those who work in the mental health field, psychologists or and even the police, etc. 2.1. 2021
Mental health is not easy to talk about.
What is not easy to talk about in mental health is behavior because everyone’s life, health, and safety matters.
No one is saying that mental health or any other reason should excuse someone’s behavior, in fact, in most people’s situations behaviors, etc there is no reason at all.
Many situations could well be down to mental health but that does not mean others or themselves should be at risk because of what they are facing.
Not all mental health situations cause a person to behave to a point where they are a danger to others as well as their selves.
There are different extremes, forms, etc of mental health.
In fact, some situation causes the person to be more so dangerous to themselves than others.
In most cases never force help onto a person and let them decide what they do and do not do.
However,’ if you have concerns, they may be a danger to themselves or others serious or even before then depending on the person and their situation, then those concerns need to be aware to those who work in the mental health field or and even the police. 2.1. 2021
Whoops sorry, have I said it already?
No one has lost your mind.
It is fine to say you have said it before, but it is okay they haven’t done anything wrong.
Please be patient.
They are not and non – stop records or tape recorders.
The same thing is on their mind, that is not their fault.
If they have said it already that is fine.
No one puts it on so never say they do.
The mind is either thinking the same thing or forgets they have said it time and time again, but they are not aware, and it is no fault of theirs.
Things can take a long time to go from someone’s mind, they may always say the same thing, or it may get less in its own time.
This may be caused by a pasted experience that they may struggle to move on from whatever that may be, which or may not improve.
Everyone understands it’s not an easy situation for anyone to deal with and it is not easy for the people are facing.
It is upsetting for them as it is, and never makes them feel bad about themselves no matter how hard it is.
There is not easy to explain this, it is as hard for those who are caring for these people as it is for the people themselves.
Remember you aren’t alone either there is help there, please do not cope alone, if you wish. https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/stress-anxiety-depression/mental-health-helplines/
Thinking too much.
At times I overthink because without meaning I think and fear the worse.
What seems small to you seems big to me, like the worse in the world for me but mostly it is not.
My mind will not rest until it is sorted.
More times than not when it is sorted, I feel like a fool thinking it is not as bad as I thought. 2.1. 2021
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