Poetry awareness

 

TO FANNY BRAWNE LOVE FROM JOHN KEATS.

My future is very dark without you, I can't see the light of life at all.
I don't have any happiness to look forward to without you at all.
I don't have love inside me for anyone but you.
Fanny, you are the sweetest girl of all.
I want to hide away from life, I can't live any longer without you.
Without you my dear I can't think very clearly.
People don't like the fact that my feelings are so strong towards you.
They told me that you'll hurt me, yes you did when I caught you making eyes at another man yet I still foolishly love you all the same.
People think I should get on with my life maybe they are right.
My feelings are here for you that I can't help.
Can I face tomorrow without tears?
Fanny if you want me to stay alive please give me your love. 1996 - 1997

Why do I like poetry?

I like poems because I can write about how I feel about life.
Mostly I write about love and romance.
I try to be a romantic person but then I get hurt.
One thing you will learn about romantic poets is loving people but the people they love can easily hurt them.
Poetry gets us through life.
A lot of young poets have died young through not being able to cope with relationship breaks ups for eg John Keats.
Like everyone, we have gone through a lot of good and bad which goes into our poetry.
Through childhood, I dreamt of my Farly tale love.
I always dream of true love but I keep on learning from my mistakes.
I now do my best to protect myself from getting hurt again but I feel bad if I upset my partner and it never stops me from loving again someone who I love and who loves me for me.
There are very few of us in this world who are lucky enough to meet the right person mainly today.
Even true love has its ups and downs.
I hope we will do it right this time. Written 1996 - 1997.

If getting over the one I love is to be.

If getting over the one I love is to be, I must get over the pain I am in.
It's very hard to get love when the feeling is not something one can control.
No matter what they put you through your feelings do control.
It's hard to get over the love that means such a lot to you.
He still means a lot to me.
New heart, please come to me under the sea.
I must put the past behind me, there must be someone out there who loves me a lot better than he did.
I used to think I had trust in love but I am not sure I believe in true love anymore.
The love I lost now feels like death.
My happiness has passed away.
I am so frightened to fall deeply in love again, I do not think I can bear the deep pain.
I do not think I want the chance of a high romance. Written 1996 - 1997.

Moving on and trying again.

This new lover of mine is very kind.
Now I have a new heart that belongs to mine.
Once upon a time, Antonio was mine.
Lynn took Antonio's heart away from mine.
I did not think she was very kind at the time.
Looking back now she was very kind, I can get on with this lovely new life of mine.
My longest relationship has gone maybe this relationship maybe even longer.
I don't want him back anymore, a new love has come to my door.
I live my life every day hoping that my new will come my way. Written September 1997.

He no more any love of mine.

He walked out of my life after two and a half years, with another lover on his mind.
He will never find another love like mine, he was warned that he was making a big mistake.
It services him right, now it's too late for him to love me again.
Now I have a new lover he's very kind I hope he knows his own mind. Written September 1997.

0h please stay with me, please never leave me.

Oh please stay in love with me until the end of our time.
Other men have given me such a hard, it's muck up my mind.
Please promise me not to leave me alone otherwise I will cry, and I will take my own life.
You are always on my mind, I love you and miss you all the time.
After having goodness knows how many boyfriends ended it with me leaving me so sad and blue, I don't think I can't get through.

I love you more than just a true friend.
Please can I trust you as my true boyfriend?
I really want a love who will want me forever.
I only hope that you are the gentleman for me.
Please do not rush into our love, I'd hate to lose you so much.
It seems to me that you are so true, that you won't leave me blue.
One day at a time I slowly hope to become your bride.
Please please please give me loads of plenty of time.
Please don't worry darling, I never dream of ending it will you. Written September 1997

The character

What do you see God when you look at me?
Why did you make me?
Would you agree there's a character in me?
Why did you bring this disabled world to me?
Thank you, God, for making me.

Am I the human being you wanted me to be?

What are you seeing and thinking when you look down from heaven to earth at me?
You see a human being who is not very wise.
How can you see me god with those far away eyes?

As a human being, I am sitting here still.
I'm a human baby, child, and teenager inside an adult who used to dribble her food and make no reply.
You look down from heaven to earth in a loud voice saying I wish she'd try.
Did you ever you used to notice the things I used to do like losing a sock and shoe?
Did you notice the things my family used to do like feeding and bathing me all every day?
Do you still see the baby in me?
If you open your eyes god I'm a disabled person who has or should have the right to live my life the same as other people and that's the same for other disabled people too.

I will tell you as the human being sitting here all through my childhood I could not see a brother and sister with me.
It was the beginning of my teenage years when my baby sister came to me.

No sign of my Father until I was twenty - all my family were there for me from birth.

When I was a young girl of sixteen I used to dream of wings underneath my feet dreaming of the man I'd marry, how wrong was I to think such a thing. I was just too blind to see but what will be. Never say never there's still time for me but I have also learned not to build my hopes up you see.

When I was twenty - eight I thought my life was over I thought it was too late, even though I was in love with a man who wasn't right for me.
I may go through pain in my life like everyone else but I pick myself up and move on.
I believe there's always someone for someone.
Only you god can tell me what my future is to be.
When I was a young woman of thirty I thought I'd live a normal life to be.
I thought by the age of thirty I'd be rearing young of my own but now I have seen the world today it's not a safe world for children to be in.
Being disabled is stopping rearing children like everyone else I just needed the support that was all.
Not everyone is lucky to have their dream home and lover to be which has taught me not to live in a Fairy tale land to be.
I must say it would be nice to be with a gentleman who will bond with me to love forever endlessly.

Now I am nearly forty the years are rolling fast.
I have walked out on one man who was not meant to last with me but now I have learned to see what happens when tomorrow's door opens.

Who knows where I will be when I am fifty, will there be a man for me?

My dark future will be upon me so I will now try to live my life without regret.
Loneliness and old age will give me so much to dread.
While I'm still young enough I will enjoy the life I have yet.
Old age will not make a fool out of me, if that was so what a sad character I would be.
I don't expect people to feel sorry for me, old or young I must enjoy life while I am here.

I want my peaceful body crumbled away with happiness and grace but no pain.
Now and again I will look down from heaven to earth to see the people I leave behind who I remember well.
You must accept the fact that we can't live forever.
So open your eyes god open and see, under that disabled person is an able human being and she is a real character in me.
I will still write short stories, novels, plays, and romantic poetry.

The tiger and the fox have been chased by the horse and rider

It was a cold winter's night. It was pouring down with rain and the wind was blowing strong.
Trees were falling down in the hunting field of Wales. The fox and tiger heard the horn hooting.

The fox and tiger ran to find the nearest hole, expecting the hunt to be rather soon. They were lovely and warm in their holes. They stayed there all night until the morning light.

Fred said to Ned.

" Let's frighten the fox and the tiger!"

Ned said

"You so curl Fred, I'm an animal too."

Fred his Ned with his whip to get him to move faster to find the fox and the tiger.

The fox and the tiger thought they were in for a peaceful night until they felt Ned's feet tapping on their holes. Fred was shouting

" I know that's your tiger!"

"I know that is your fox."

Tiger said

" I just want to go to sleep."

Fox said

" What a good idea so do I."

Fred told Ned he would not ride him again if he carried feeling sorry for the tiger and the fox. Ned did not care about what Fred said because the tiger and the fox were his friends.

" I will never speak to you again Ned."
" I don't care Fred."

Ned tried to make friends with the fox and the tiger but he lost them because of Fred. Written 2003.

I want to be a writer 1997 - 2000

I want to be a writer, can you please help me write my first book?
My first book is my life story, can you please help me to set it out to the public?
I am special needs and I need extra help than a writer who is not disabled.
Can you please help me?
I am very interested in short stories, novels, plays, and poetry.

This poem was just about me wanting to be a writer.

Having friends.

Everyone should have friends everywhere.
Everyone's friends should be with them there.
Friends should be there to care for and do things together for one another.

Keep hold of your friends but love comes and goes.

SCHOOL BULLYING AND BAD FRIENDSHIPS.

When I was a girl my school days were the worse days of my life.
I don't know why adults used to tell me that school days are the best years of your life.
The day I left school I felt at peace.
School used to really get to me because in every school I went to there were bullies everywhere.
Bullies were my worse nightmare.
Bullies were the death of me.

I learned more out of school than in.

Father Ray.

When I was a baby and small child, Father Ray use to take carry me, here there, and everywhere.
He use to hold my hand everywhere in Fathering care.
Father, Ray use to kiss and cuddle me with tender loving to be.
Father, Ray was always there to make sure I ate all my tea.
When I was fifteen years old he drove around the nightclubs in Margate looking for me.
Father, Ray is such a gentleman, and Dad to me is better than my real father has been.
In emergency Father, Ray is always there to care and to share.
Father, Ray is a loving Dad as much as he can be.

When it was my birthday Father, Ray was still here with me.
When my mother told me that my Father was not Ray, I was confused not knowing what was happening to me.
I was mad, angry and I cried.
I was frightened to go to sleep that night in case I had nightmares.
When I was ill Father, Ray took care of me.

Confused parents make confused children, it does not help their relationships either still, that's life. In my case, I have just left a confused man over a month ago after 15yrs. I am not confused now at least I hope not anyway.

LOVE.

One always wonders why we are all ever born.
Our parents fall in love and bring us to the world.
Most parents break and then that causes anger, hurt, and pain to us all.
We fall in love and the pain of ended love hurts even more.
Love is like a story, love is like a book, please turn over a lot more than a thousand pages you are welcome to have a look.
I have got to the stage of thinking either forever love or no love at all the pain is too much to cope with.
I hope I am wrong in thinking I could be so weak, I hope I become strong.
Will I ever meet my forever love?
I have fallen in and out of love so many times every love I have had has a Farly tale dream story and nightmare in them.
Our dreams will more than likely come true but life is one big dream for you and me.

You are our loving friends.

You are our loving friends.
We can't borrow you.
We can't buy or sell you.
We can't fire you.
We can't do much without you.

We can have fun with you.
We can fool around with you.
We can talk to you.
We can do a lot with you.

We will always be around you.
We hope you will be around us.
Whenever you want us we will be there.
When you don't want us, we won't bother you anywhere.
You may think sometimes that you don't have friends but we and other friends are around you place somewhere. written 1998 - 1999.

Every girl's dream and nightmare.

It's every girl's dream and a nightmare to become a bride.
Not every girl is lucky to meet a man of her kind.
Not every girl meets her prince charming the love of her life.
When becoming a man's wife it can be a story of a woman's life.
The number of years good girls have to wait to be a gentleman's wife.
Having been a gentleman's wife it is not what we think might.
Some days can be a rather unhappy site to be a man's wife.
A wife might end up blowing into her kite.
Girls would you agree that a lot of men can be mites. Written 1997 - 2000

I loved you Antonio my longest lasted laddie.

I love you Antonio my longest lasted laddie.
Why did you go off with another lassie?
You know I love you so madly and sadly.
Now I will never ever have another laddie.
You had

 broken my heart you mean Romano.
I fell in love with you so madly, gladly, and sadly Antonio.
You are such a baddie but I love you.
I must be blind not to know that you'd treat me unkind.
Don't you have any love, care understanding on your mind?
I so very much wanted to be your bride so I must get that out of my mind. Written 1996 to 1997.

When you are frightened to love but frightened of being lonely without.

You are frightened of being alone but frightened to love the days and nights seem dull.
The future never seems to come because it's hard to believe that things will get better.
You are worried about getting hurt all over again which brings sadness and pain more and more.
You can feel shame, anger, guilt, and happiness can be the only word that you aren't feeling at that moment.
You know that you are not getting any younger and the future seems dull because the present is.
Trying to think about when you were happy is hard.
I can see myself just being an old maid because I can't seem to have trust in men.
Lynn, you have taken all my happiness away I hope you will be happier with Antonio than I was.
Antonio you never told me your reason for going off with Lynn, I guess I was never good enough for you.
I just need to learn how to get you out of my head and get on with my life, I should not have hung around where I was not wanted.
When a relationship has ended after such a long time it becomes a big shock.
Finding the best happiness is hard to find, it could take never or a long time.
Could you be wondering
what could become in the end? written 1997.

Thank you my loving caring friends.

Thank you for having trust in me.
Thank you for being trusting friends with me.
Thank you for listening to me and for what I have to say to you all.
Thank you for advising me and talking to me.
Thank you for giving me the life that I really want.
I'd like to think I can do the same for you.
Without you you all giving me advice I would have cracked up.
I hope my dream will come true to love again.
Thank you for cheering me up when I am feeling down.
Thank you been there when I need you.
Thank you for being honest with me, I will try my best to be honest with you.
Thank you for helping me through disappointments in life.
I will be more than happy to help you in every way and all the way.
Most of all thank you all for being very good friends and thank you for being you.

My sayings

Why worry about a lot of money? Money is not everything to life but enough money helps. Most people who have a lot of money it goes to their head. Health is more important. Cope wisely and manage money the best you can.

Why ask for too much in life when most people have nothing.

Never put people down who are a bit slow. They may become more successful than you in some ways.

It's better to be honest, even if you have done wrong. People who lie never get believed. When are really telling they still don't get to believe and quite rightly so?

Whispering is a rude habit, you just may be heard, sometimes not seem. No one may know what you don't want them to hear. People may have ways of finding out anyway.

You get what you want if you wait. If you don't ask, you won't get it.

Never hang around with more than two people, there's always someone who causes a fallout. There's always someone who makes do what you should or and in many cases what you don't want to do.

No more than two in the kitchen there may be no food worth eating and it may be dangerous.

Most people run away when they are in the wrong. Never leave the country without someone knowing, at some point, you will be found if you are in the bother.

I see too many of the same people, you may get fed of one another. The more time apart the better it will be.

Never promise what can't do and give. Some people what they and do is two different things.

Eat some healthy every day either fruit, meat, vegetables or fish. Have at least a bit of exercise a day. A little bit of what you fancy does not do you any harm.

If you get another chance in life go for it, grab life with both hands. You may not get another chance but don't blow that chance once you have got it. Don't play people around, people can only stand so much.

You can't always have what you want, if you get at all it can take its own time. If you complain about things you don't want you may not get the things you do want.

Early nights make you feel better and alive.

I am not perfect is anyone, I understand it's not easy saying than doing but I believe some wife's tales are true but not all.

More Wife's tales.

If you are happy with what you won't don't need more.

Money is not everything in life, there are ways of coping.

Never built your hopes up about what could be about to happen in life, you may well be disappointed.

Never make yourself a fool when giving out money, you may not get it back off people. 1997 - 21st century.

Close friends.

Although our love is ended can we please be very close friends?
Even though we have caused one another so much pain, why can't we be close friends?
The tears I have cried are very hard to explain but it's time to move on to be with the people we really love and be happy.
One must bear the pain the best way because things will never be the same again.
Why make ourselves unhappy by bringing things back how were because we won't win?
We have tried so hard to love one another as lovers it just has not worked the way we wanted it to.
My ring will be on my finger until the day I die.
Heaven will be the place I love again.
Close friends are how you and I will stay forevermore. Written September 1997.