New poems at last.
We all had to put our lives on hold one way or the other.
I am no government fan Boris but most people may disagree, row with me in their minds, etc but start with I thought you were okay.
As time has gone my thoughts are slightly changing as you had broke lockdown rules, you made your yourself.
I am not saying that no public person didn't break the rules but a lot of us didn't.
We had to work from home.
Stop our outside social life, even inside social life.
Even though it was possible we may not have been locked down completely for most people the rules were hard to understand even though safety-wise it may have been the right thing to do at the time.
We had to do and didn't do things that we weren't used to doing and not doing, which has become unfair mostly for those who had Covid and most lives were lost, which was hard on the family, friends, and other people who knew.
In many ways, the rules were curled to be kind healthy, and safety-wise but there shouldn't have been one rule for the government and the other for the public.
Even though we were learning about the virus, rules were changing too quickly to keep up. 19.4.2022
Dammed if I do or dammed if I don't, should I say did or both?
Mask or no mask no winning.
Not being able to breathe brings on my Anxiety.
At the risk of people thinking I had Covid when I hadn't, them thinking they would get from me, may me from them.
Everyone's Mental health was increasing.
Mental health services were so busy people were on waiting lists, and many lives were at risk of peoples' mental health going sky high.
Even now we are not fully out of the woods with Covid.
Covid is still around even though most things have relaxed.
I only walked out my door to go to the shops because I struggled to understand the rules.
A lot of face-to-face communication stopped, we were mostly on the phone, video chat, zoom, etc from the internet. 19.4.2022
Creating words.
There's no other way to create words other than the mind, paper, pen, and type.
Intentions of thoughts are said from the mind not necessary to chase fame and money.
However' in some of us the way, most things are said some of us have ways of saying whatever but not all get or even except credit for the way they say things.
Most of us are always aware of whether we are making sense of whatever we may say.
No word is not necessarily created on purpose as feelings and thoughts are said if they need or want to be not necessary for the sense of chasing to be noticed to be talented.
Although many who are talented do not necessarily notice until they are not here to see it, where it can be a loss of a blind society not to notice success in most people.
We have walked the moon and walked the walk.
We walk the planet's milky way along with the stars of mercury, mars, venus, earth, Jupiter, Neptune, Uranus, Pluto, Saturn, earth, and more.
Including the sun and the moon.
This could be what you call the planets of the solar system universal.
Born to be young.
Getting older is hard to accept when really we are born to be young.
Really some ways life is unfair to carry when life says you can die.
To end life is so unfair to drive others to disbar.
Where is the positive in all this?
Many positives take so long to happen.
To love in so many ways who we thought we loved us but didn't love us at all.
To love the one who loves you then grow old, leave this world before, after them, or together, no one knows how it will happen.
The good and maybe even the bad in getting older is I find I accept whatever life throws, where I feel I am slowly giving up on fighting for what I want anymore to the point I am not sure what I want whether I get it or not.
I just don't want the rows anymore not that I never did but some things are not easy to fight for.
If we don't show emotions in front of those who see things in a different way, they will get to know they are not getting to you.
It's mostly easier to keep one's thoughts to one's self even if we are not happy with what's happening.
Speak to us all what they want because we probably cannot hear or take any notice of what they say.
However, there's should be nothing wrong with getting things off ones' chest.
Do not cry to us because we are not there, we have disappeared into the thin fresh air.
Get used to it, we won't be here forever make the most of it while we are here.
You will be thinking and saying the same thing to others the same as we do to you.
You may not think it now but you will see when your time comes, you will be older and wiser one day, which may well sound and seem old-fashioned now but true when the time comes.
I fell down and got back again.
You may think you hurt but you didn't, I thought you did at the time.
You are long gone out of my life now but I am still here, you hurt me no more.
I have had my subdual attempts and thoughts at the time, many subdual thoughts are not gone but I am still here even though I have been fighting my thoughts and feelings for years.
I never thought I was strong enough to get through this and let life pass me by, I didn't know my strength at the time.
You chewed me up and spat me out many a time.
I fell down and got back up again despite your twisted mind silly games.
I must have been out of my mind to wait for you to love me again and for you to decide when you didn't want me again.
I know I loved you like a fool even when you decided you didn't love me until I decided I was taking no more.
You think you have killed me but you have not, I am still here to love again but I don't love you no more whether you feel you love me again or not.
I wrote a poem about Burns's night in America.
I'm an English girl, not a scots girl writing a Burn's night poem in America.
I love poetry, Robbie Burns I think is the greatest poet of all.
I tried haggis and love it but I have no chance of having haggis in America.
All the same, I can write poetry, it's near five o clock it's getting dark, we still have snow in America, I will soon be going home to England, traveling Thursday night, landing Friday morning.
Burns inspired my word in his Scottish ways with bonnie, laddie, and lassie.
Anxiety.
To easy to see the world in black and white, which is not the case.
Even when a crisis whether it hits just you, others,
or the world you still feel alone even though you are not alone.
To easy to see there is no point in living as the end of a crisis seems too far away but somehow we find the end together or and alone.
Young poets such as John Keats were discovered when they left this world rather than when they were in this world, nothing seems to change even though we are so many generations apart.
However' in poetry, I thank you so much, Keats, for inspiring me to get through the hard time I had even through words, that may or may not have made sense but somehow it worked.
If only I could help you as you helped me, somehow what I read what you wrote inspired me to write my own words when picked up my pen and put it on paper.
No one should judge your life, slippting up with Fanny and being unwell.
It is too easy to think and feel as if the future is dark when you don't know what it is going to be.
Spring and summer are on their way.
During three months of winter in America, I have been away for the worse part of the winter, November, December, and January.
January came to a close in came February.
The daffodils of spring should be on their way.
We won't get sunflowers till the middle of summer to Autumn, but we get roses from June to September, maybe even October.
We may or may not necessarily get a good summer.
Maybe two weeks at a time of hot weather we are not used to, then cold rain ever thunderstorms for a while.
Not sure how to go about it.
Not a problem, my problem.
Not complaining.
No good rowing with society.
They may not take yes for an answer.
No harm being an unpublished poet.
Let's not chase fame and money.
I know I am not alone.
It's okay just twenty-five years of poetry I enjoy writing off my own bat.
Not sure which of my work is good, bad, either all bad, all good.
one poem each in eleven published a book in my late twenties, publishers I were paying but they weren't paying me, I don't want to complain, then I put my poems on a website in my mid-thirties.
I guess they don't want the work of a poet who has Dyslexia, yes I know my spelling is not great, I guess I just have no words that mean nothing at all.
All the same, I don't let society get to me, I just keep on writing, shouldn't push my luck, guess my problem is I am too soft, I just put up and shut up.
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