Thursday 14 April 2022

Voice of poetry

 Who says? 


Who says people with disabilities are useless?
who says we are different even though we may look different?
we can achieve our own skills just like you so why not let us put those skills to use for our future just like you?
we have a future as much as you do otherwise why are we here?
some of us have our body parts others don't but it doesn't make us useless there is something about everyone.
some of us can paint with our hands' others can paint with their feet.
we can use our body and mind in different ways
only because we are slower than you it doesn't mean we don't know anything.
All we need is your support we don't need you to put us down.
Just think guys if disabilities hadn't had to happen to us, they could have happened to you.
If you would have had disabilities like us what would you have done then?
it's hard for you to think about the effects a disability would have on your lives unless you have a disability.
If were you were in our shoes, you'd understand what we mean.
A lot of people can be fine for years then they may have a serious accident, that's when they understand a lot of things in their life they had beforehand have been taken away from them.
If they are lucky, they may get the same things back but only with the right support. January 2009


Day to day life.


Today more than years ago, jobs are hard to find.
There's no work for anyone, main people without a home address.
There have always been homeless people but there are more and more people begging for money and other things, mostly homeless people with this credit crunch.
So many jobs are lost and so many businesses have closed down.
Even people who have their own homes are having problems paying for
them so how can t everyone in the world help each other?
What is the world coming to?
Not everyone has lost their homes but not everyone had not had a home in the first place.
You can see the difference in people's lives from not being homeless to homeless, the way
they dress, behave and live their lives.
Nothing seems to change unless help is given, which is very hard in today's world.
They sleep on the street.
They beg people for money to buy breakfast, lunch, tea, supper and etc if they are lucky.
We all morn about how hard it is to cope ourselves in our homes but the outside world is worse than the inside world.
If work and education are hard for them to find so they could have all the experience and exams in the world and still find it hard to get a job because there's no money, not many jobs, and not enough support in the world for them.
It's the same life for the day in and out, they are just about coping to live, they are lucky if someone stops to chat because people have busy lives and no money to give them.
They have boring lives as they can't work or go to college or wherever they should go to get educated.
A lot of people have lost their families as well as their homes.
When we see these people they seem happier than lucky us.
They have such lovely smiles on their faces.
Where on earth do these people come from? February 2009


Disabled world


I have been living in this disabled world since the day I was born.

No wonder I am not understood by non-disabled people because

we don't come from the same world.

We don't speak the same language either.

People with disabilities understand easy words and clear pictures.

Most Non - disabled people speak jargon, people with disabilities don't understand that.

It doesn't all apply to all non-disabled people.

What a boring world it would be if the world was perfect.

Do we disabled people have disabilities written on our foreheads?
Perhaps or perhaps not because we don't always get believed that we have disabilities when the truth comes out that's when we aren't treated equally,
so people need to be aware of our disabilities but give us the support and right to be treated like non - disabled people.
( Give us a balance between the two!)
It can be very hard when people don't know us.

I am not the only disabled person in the world.

There are disabled people all over the world.

We are seen as a danger to society in our way, why should we be looked upon as a shame on ourselves and the world around us? We should not be at fault for being disabled.
We are sorry to be such hard work to society but then why should we be sorry?
We did not make ourselves disabled, these things happen who knows why?
We shouldn't have to say sorry to non-disabled people for being the way we are.
Non-disabled people should stick to their own world but support us if and when we want and need support.
Non-disabled people should support us to have equal rights to them not take our lives and rights away from us.
Help us to make our lives better not worse.

We don't have to be disabled to be wrong.
We all make mistakes just like non-disabled people.
We are not perfect neither are non - disabled.
It would be a boring world if we were all perfect.

We have good and bad points just like you.

We have good and bad days just like you.

Why should we feel like the odd one out when there is more than one of us with disabilities.

We mustn't let society put and get us down anymore.

We are all human beings like you, whether we are disabled or not. February 2009


It wasn't easy.

It's wasn't easy as a woman to tell a  to tell you that I loved you,  how I felt about you, when I really loved you, knowing that you didn't feel the same way but now it's too late for you to feel this way now because I don't feel this anymore.

I  knew you for such a long time  It's felt as if my heart belongs to you,

 We tried being just friends but that didn't work either.
Now I have moved on and I love someone new, not you.

 I have long walked away from you and there's no going back now, I am so much happier without you.

I was totally and utterly crazy about you but not anymore. February 2009

Rights to be free.

Feel free to say what you want.
Feel free to do what you want.
Feel free to listen to what you want.
Feel free to write what you want.
Feel free to read what you want.
As long as you respect the rights of others too.
You are only on this earth once.
There's no going back once you have gone. February 2009 


The writer's feelings.

Please listen to what I have to say.
I think about you every single day.
I thought you were the boy who love me for me.
How wrong could I be?
Now I know you were my dream and nightmare.
How mad am I, your still the love of my life?
I thought I was going to become your future wife.
Sorry I regret hurting you this way but I don't regret every single day I was with you. written in 1997.


We were two lovers together.
We were two lovers to together who went everywhere together.
We were together so long on and off.
Our love for one another was so strong.
Our love failed yet very little went wrong.
We may not forgive one another as lovers but we may as friends.
We hurt one another bad.
The memory of my young love in my head the happiness, sadness, and sorrow.
How on earth will I face to tomorrow because the pain will still be there?
I never want to hurt a man again, I must have driven him away to love another woman.
It takes a lot of bottles for me to carry living on this earth.
I can't love again, there's no way forward.
The future scars me.
There will never be another man for me.
He is not all to blame I must have done something wrong for him to go with another woman.
Maybe I am better off not loving again in case I drive them to another. written 1996 to 1997.


It was all in my mind. 

What seemed wasn't to be.
You changed for the worse, not for the better.
A mood that could change from nice to nasty.
More and more I saw the light, which wasn't a nice site.
At the time I was disappointed in someone who I loved so much could change for the worst so much.
Despite you were being cheating on me, I still struggled feeling in love with you for a long time.
What a kind sweet gentleman he used to be.
Whatever has happened to us?
He was full of love, happiness, and joy to be.
He used to be a lovely gentleman and boy.
He still has lovely brown eyes.
People think he has lost his mind.
People think he's gone blind.
Now that I have lost him, I am very wary of who I find.
What if they don't replace the love I lost?
Where's the man's voice that made me laugh?
Where's his handsome face that made me smile?
Where's the touch of his arms?
Where's the touch of his charm?
Where's the man who walked me home in the dark and the rain.
Where's the man I'd dreamt about in my sleep without a doubt.
Where's the man who beauty me every time he looked at me but no you were all a lie. written 1997 - 2022

My lover has gone forever.

My lover has gone forever, my history fellow.
I feel lonely without Tony Romany.
Is everything going very slowly?
Sadly enough I won't be able to love Tony Romany ever again.
Isn't he a dear fellow, feeling under the weather. written 1997.

I love the sea.

I love the beach and the sea.
The beach and the sea is a romantic places to be.
I love the sun shining and rising over the deep blue sea with a lovely yellow sunset.
I think it's the place to be.
I love the yellow sand; it's lovely to lovely make sandcastles with children by the sea. 1997 - 2000


I try to be romantic.

I try to be romantic, that's the way I want to be.
If it's not right for women to be romantic I won't be, I will only show my feelings out in poetry.
My feelings towards someone who means a lot to me yet I don't mean a lot to him anymore, he loves another woman.
He hurt me very badly.
I can't help the way I am I was born to be soft and romantic yet I can't help who I fall for either.
He may well rip my heart into a thousand pieces yet I love him like there's no other man on this earth.
Now I find it hard to stop writing poetry as my feelings are uncontrolled.

Believe me, that man was not as special as I made him out to be in this poem, I only thought he was. How blind was he not to understand how much I loved him but how blind was I to not understand that he did not really love me? Then we may have just loved one another as much as we could. We were both blinds in our ways in our minds. written 1997.


If only I knew whether you are right or wrong for me.

From the day I first met you I thought you were the right person for me.
You left me sad, lonely, and blue.
You know it's true that even now I still love you but you don't feel the same way anymore.
I don't understand why I still love someone who has not got the time a day for me.
Sometimes I feel like locking myself away in my bedroom and never coming out but other times I feel lonely.
Live in the bedroom with a kettle, food, and toilet but I need to cut down on my heavy drinking.
Not seeing the world again to get away from pain is how I feel.
I don't feel very strong at all, there doe not seem to be an end to all this but there must be an end to pain somewhere and somehow.
Surely I can't keep on feeling depressed like this, there's got to be light at the end of the tunnel somewhere.
All I do is write pages and pages of romantic poetry about you, it shows how mad and crazy I am about you which makes me mad and crazy when you don't feel the same about me.
How strange is that?
I feel ashamed to love someone who does not love me but my feelings have so much control over me.
There must be someone better out who loves me for me but I find it hard to believe that I will love him because foolishly my feelings are still with you.
I just loved the wrong man, what is it about love it just blinds you?
Now you have gone, I must move on I must carry on without you.
It's hard to do because I miss you so true.
Everywhere I stand I see lovers kissing and hugging every day.
They must think I have lost my way. Written 1997.
I wrote this poem to say I love you.

I wrote this poem to say I love you whatever you have put you have put me through.
I must be mad to have you back but I still love you, don't you dare hurt me again because you won't get another chance.
I thought I stopped loving at one point but that's too hard to do.
One day we looked into one another eyes but we have known one another too long to say no.
There's only so much I can take, if hurt me again I will break.
If you hurt me again you will be full of regrets because I can't keep giving chances when it suits you to love me again.
Think this through carefully because one day I could be with someone who sticks to his word, who does not mess around like you do.
If I meet this person it will be too late for you to change your mind.
I'd be sure about your feelings if I were you and stick to my word. written 2001
Tell me why you left me?

Tell me why you made me cry?
Tell me why you left me?
Did you just make one silly mistake?
I must be mad to take you back.
You must have known you hurt me really bad.
It will take me a while to get my trust back to you again but my love is still there for you.
I wish I did not love you then I would worry in case you hurt me again but my love for you is far too strong to let go of you. written 2001

I lost you once I don't want to lose you again.

Monday and Tuesday I miss you, I think about you and dream about you.
I can't close my eyes at night you are on my mind all the time.
After the break, I am happy to see you.
The nights without you go far too slow.
Mondays and Tuesdays I count the hours when I see you again.
The rest of the week goes far too fast.
As soon as we are together again the lights turn then off.
When I am at home alone I study, maths, draw type and write.
I still manage to do my best job, even though I do think about you. written 2001


I used to wonder what was the point?

What was the point of us being together?

My point is that I loved you for you, only yesterday but today and always.
Even if we don't have enough time to spend together, I will look forward to it when we do.
The most important thing in my life is you, after working those long hours you need your sleep. written 2000

My thoughts

My thoughts are now quiet about you but my poems are public about you as they are written down on paper.
I need to get my thoughts off my chest at my best.
I need to tell the world how I love you.
I know there's nothing I can do to win your love back.
The bright side is the happy memories we had together.
Those memories are here to stay with me and never go away.
I'm missing you so much but I feel so unloved.
Being without you causes so much sadness for me. written 1997 - 2001


I need help!

I need help to build my happiness back.
I need joy back in my life again.
I need help to end sorrow and pain.
It's hard to know if I will see a better day tomorrow.
The only way I can get on with life is to write about how I feel about in my poetry day by day.
I know I need to help myself but I believe that will happen slowly.
I am not alone in this happiness, joy, sadness, and sorrow.
It happens to every man, boy, girl, and woman.
When problems have everyone needs their family and friends around them.
When help is given, things get taken on people when someone is stuffing from a breakdown.
The good thing is that you end up helping someone to get over the same thing as what you went through. written 1997


I miss my high romance.

I once had a high romance I'd have it back if I had a chance.
I don't think I will ever have the chance to get it back.
I will sleep, then see what tomorrow brings.
Before I sleep I puff the pillows up and weep.
I don't dream anymore, my dreams have turned into nightmares that's why I can't sleep.
I have nightmares of being hurt and nightmares of being alone.
I don't have any feelings of love to let out, I am just mixed in my mind.
I only have love inside me for one person but he does not love me.
My beauty in love has been loved but lost.
Now there's no beauty left to love.
Maybe I thought I was in love but I was not.
It's hard to know If I am in or out of love. written 1997

Lye in bed.

I lye bed wondering what kind of future I have left.
I'm trying to think about what I should do next.
I am trying to work out what is the right thing to do.
I never forget the first day we met it was the happiest day of my life yet.
My mind is so mixed up and confused about you that I can't rest yet.
When you told me it was over, I knew I had lost you for good.
The sadness feels like death.
Very happy memories of you never forget.
I wish you happiness and love with your future loves.
I know I can't change how you feel you love her not me. written 1997.

A man I thought I loved and lost.

There was once a lad I thought I had.
He was so charming at the time I thought he was the man.
He was such a bad lad, I must have been mad.
In the end, he made me so sad.
When he was not in my life anymore I was gland.
He was such a Jack the lad, he went after so many girls with so many curls.
He put the untrue charm that didn't get him very far.
He lied to me, he told me he had a flash car that also didn't get him very far.
His name was Preen, who pretended to be keen.
He wasn't keen, he was mean.
He's a loser, who doesn't give a dam about any woman only having their money off them.
He was a con man and woman beater, user, an abuser.
We talk about the man, gentleman, and mouse, Preen wasn't either of them Preen was an evil rat!
He would sleep with girls, frightened them, and give them the fear of other men.
He would talk about their private life, he would break other relationships with a knife.
He gave me so much fear for many years in the relationship I had after, I am only just starting to trust him now.
I was on my own for six months after I and Preen finished, I never thought I'd love again.
I regret ever knowing him let alone going with him.
My next lover was alright but even though I loved him I had a job to trust him which drove him to another woman in the end.
I said to myself for a long time to be friends with someone and see how it goes.
I want someone who will get me over my fright and fear after all those years.
Did you get me through this dear?
No, you didn't I got over it myself somehow.
I want someone who understands my problems, someone who has been there himself.
Now I have long come to terms with what Steven Preen put me through but it took a good many years to get over that.
He once loved me, no he didn't it was a silly nightmare of mine.
I wanted someone who cared about me and who could help me come out of my problems.
My partner after Steven coped with it for a while then he could not stand it anymore and then he came back to then now it's crashed for good. written 1997 - 2009.


t's hard to keep it quiet that I love you.

It's very hard to keep it quiet that I love you.
There are times I feel happy.
There are times I feel sad.
That depends on whether things are good or bad.
It's hard to love someone else after loving you so long.
Now I am upset more.
Don't get me wrong, I must tell myself that it's not the end of my life.
You did not have to love me for life.
Why do love and loneliness cause so much pain?
I understand now that I don't have to have a lover I can just have a good friend.
It's hard to explain, you can't live without love but you can't live with it either.
Whatever you do, do what makes you happy.
One thing I have learned in life, whatever it is if you sussed try and try again but if someone lets you down in love and friendship, it's not going to work, I know I have had the pain more than once. written 1997 - 2001


Marriage.

Marriage should be full of love and support.
Nine out of ten marriages end in divorce.
Marriage should be full of happiness and joy.
Marriages should be full of laughs not crying.
Marriages should be full of a girl and a boy.
We must accept love and marriage is not a bed of roses.
If it was perfect it would be boring.
Like all walks of life, marriage is either a success or it is not. Written 1997


Your beauty is love forever.

Your beauty and love are forever.
Please sit and dream of wonderful love my lovely fella.
You will meet the love of your life when it's lovely weather.
I can't say the love you choose will be me.
I hope and wish happiness for you to be.
Maybe one day you will meet a lovely lady that will swim with you under the deep blue sea, I wish her to be sweeter than me.
I know it won't be me. Written 1997

He will know when he's met the love of his life.

He will know when he has met the love of his life.
He will enjoy love better when the weather is better.
He will meet the love of his life when the time is right.
He will live with and marry her to be his bride in time for the rest of his life. Written 1997.

The lover that was mine.

The one I love is burned alive.
He used to be a lover of mine but not at the end of time.
I do not want or love him anymore, he is no longer my lover.
I now have a new lover who is like no other.
I love my new lover ten times more than I loved my old lover.
I thought my new lover would find it hard to find me but it was not that hard after all.
This new lover is very very kind to me.
Now that I have a new heart that belongs to mine I can learn to get Antonio off my mind.
Once upon a time, Antonio was mine.
Lynn took Antonio's heart away from mine, at the time I thought she was not very kind but now I know I need to get him off my mind.
No matter how hard I try, I just can't get him off my mind. Autumn to winter 1997


Do I hope?

I will believe in myself a bit more.
I will get stronger in myself a stream if you know what I mean.
I will get rid of fears.
I have hope for the future rather than feeling as if I don't want to be on this planet anymore. Written 1997.

I know I can't expect all good luck.

Bad luck comes at its worse.
When a lot of bad things can come at once then it all can be too much.
It does not hurt to turn to good luck. Written 1997.


Two old good friends of mine, I think wanted to get together back but I never understood why they did not get together as a couple.

Why did I fancy you?

You were the hero of my heart.
The more I saw you the more like my love.
You were the most important person in life but not anymore.
You mean the wide world to me.


Every night you were in my dreams.
Every day you were in my heart.
You were my dream lover but not anymore.

I never ever wanted to lose you, but now I am glad you are not around.


 Written 1997- 2022.


The love has come back to my heart.

My love has come back into my heart but I know that we live so far apart.
We must not upset the apple cart, we will look forward to seeing one another when we do.

Tonight I will sleep without you but I will still feel your love.
I wish now I could win your love for good.
You are too far away for me to love but I love you very much.
I really hope our love will never ever end. Written 1997.


Love calms.

Love is like a breath of fresh air for a lad and lass to share.
When you are young you can never know how long it will last.
Love can be such a painful thing.
The dart hit the human love of his heart.
 Written 1997

When my lover has gone away.

When my lover has gone away, my whole life feels as if it's going down the drain.
What have I got, I won't want to be lonely but that's the way it is?
At the moment I need help from my friends.
I just need a man to love.
Could be any man?
In 1997 I thought Ian Hutchinson was the man for me.
Would I believe in love at first sight?
I am yet to see it once and for the last time in my life.
That is a good question, I wish I really knew the answer. Written 1997

After a long time of crying.

After a long time of crying, I awake my crying eyes into happy eyes from my sleep.
The sere ct is that I love you again, I think I am falling back on my feet after a long crying sleep.
I faint back in my seat at the thought of being loved again.

When I awake again from a long nightmare, I open the curtains ( What do I see?)
I see the hot sunshine looking at me with blue blossoms on the tall trees.
Open the windows for fresh, smell or the blossoms.
Finely walk my lover in here, I am in the arms of the tender lips that will kiss.
His tender eyes appear with his tender happy smile.
He has a lovely sweet smile.
When we are together our hearts become on fire, only cold water can cool our desire. Written 1997.


Coming to terms with you and me apart.

I know I could not forget you if I wanted to.
I could not stop feeling in love with you.
When I did not see you I still could not stop loving you
.
I could stop caring for you. Written 1997.


Which is it to be love or loneliness for me?

Which is it to be love or loneliness for me to be?
Plenty of people has told me there are plenty more fish in the sea you see.
The number of loves I have loved, I hope I will catch the fish or will he catch me?

There's always a fear back in my mind that my fish may jump back into the sea as they mostly do.
To be brave is the way to aim to be, otherwise, I will always be frightened to love again. Written 1997.

I have had a lucky escape.

I have had a lucky escape, a lassie has taken my laddie Antonio away from me.
Now I am happy to say I have my new lover on my way.
At the end of the day, happy history memories have melted away.
I hope I will be just as happy with this lover as I was with the other.
My new happiness washes my tears away.
I just hope my new lover is here to stay.
My old lover really truly hurt me.
I am glad to say that Antonio has gone away.
Now at last slowly my life is getting back together again.
It may well not be the same as what it used to be.
I know deep inside my heart, that I have had a lucky escape.
I never ever want my old lover back again.
I hope my new love won't turn out like my old love.
I will never forget the day we met on the 16th of May 1994.
My older lover and I fell in love at first sight, we should have known it was not right.
Now I have had a lucky escape I can move on with my life. Written 1997.


What is love, where is love?

Love can be full of romantic wonderful things.
The happiest times should be when the birds sing in spring.
You just catch the right fish in the sea, that can be hard to be.
Sometimes love can end with anger, sorrow and pain.
Sometimes love can be such a strain.
Sometimes love can be anywhere to be.
Sometimes you can meet love in the most strange places to be.
Love can happen anywhere to be, it could be under the sea. Written 1997

Some Men

I have had many friends but only one as a boyfriend if and when I have one.
Should say men friends or baby boys, friends, depending on whether they act their age or shoe size?
Do men ever grow up?
Where are these men to be?
When men goes down the pub women don't always see them unless the men are drunk.
Men will then go home and go to sleep.
Why can't I find love, who wants me?
Why can't there be a match bet ween their feelings and mine?
At the end of the day, they should know where their bread is buttered.
Women ask men anything then they keep too much to their chest. ( What's on your mind love?)
He should also know how to make the bed at his best.
If he does not know how to make his bed, he can still lye in it.

Sometimes I wish I was an animal, I would not cause any problem to other animals.
Whatever god wants me to be I must if god is to be.
A human being I was born to be.
I wish my love felt like a wild red rose.
I am a young lass who does not drink splits very often but when I do I land on my knees.
Through the hot summer I lye along the glass catching the sun on my body dreaming about the next gentleman to be.

Some men lock themselves in a room keeping their problems to their chest.
That's one thing woman do not do, they share their problems mostly with each other.
Men never really tell woman what is on their minds but woman tell men what's on their minds.
Girls are the best at getting things off their chests, men kept problems to their vests.
Some men tell their wives and girls to keep out their way to make the females worry about them.
Some men don't tell women anything.
It may hit some men more when love comes to an end. Late 1996 to mid 1997

I put my head in the sand.

No one seems to agree with my way of thinking when it comes to love so now my head is in the sand and my thoughts are kept to myself.
My head is in between my hands I may not make the right choices in my life.
There seems to be nowhere forward than feeling as if I am sitting inside a train as it's driving through a dark tunnel that has not got to the light, it seems to go on forever.
There must be an end to a dark tunnel somewhere.
Turn on the light please or is there no light?
I am scared of the present and the future.
I feel very lonely and very sad.
A lot of frights and fears are inside my mind.
Every time I tell people my thoughts it does not pleases them but it pleases me, what pleases them does not please me, it's just time to wait and see or life is the end for me.
I understand people are only protecting me from getting hurt but my feelings have control over me, can't they see?
How can I love without being blind?
I may as well do what I want and let people talk all they like.
One thing I feel like is living my life in sin, no man does not seem to be right for me and I do not seem to be right for them. Written 1997.

You are my lover and your love is sweet.

You are my lover who gives me such a romantic time.
Lovely romance, so glad I have taken the chance.
I will make the most of it while this romance lasts.
I am a lass who loves to enjoy the chance of love and romance.
I love romantic gentlemen but there are not many about.
I could never ask for a romance to last forever because that's too much to ask.
When you kiss my lips you are far too good to forget.
I miss your tender loving lips to bits.
One day my dear I fear that you may break my heart like many men have, then you will move on to another heart. Written 1997

I dream.

I dream of a young gentleman sweeping me off my feet.
Someone who I can have for the rest of my life which happens to very few people these days.
I dream of living to a great age and having no pain just a peaceful death.
Sitting and laying forever together by a sunny stream would be a perfect dream.
I dream of love and happiness for me and you but slow love not fast, that's how I want it to be, do you want the same too?
I hope our love will stay true.
I hope our love is not blind.
As a little girl, I used to look at the fish in the sea wondering if the right fish in the sea is for me.
I am still waiting for the right fish for me but I don't think I will ever catch him he may not even catch me.
I would love to think that our love is tender and kind to pass away.
Are you who I have been waiting for all my life?
I hope you are the gentleman for me.
I dream of us holding hands by the stream.
I dream of our love growing stronger and for longer and longer.
I hope that my love life is not just a dream.
I hope love is for you and me. Written 1997.


My heart is so full of love for you.

My heart is so full of love for you.
My lips are so tender enough to kiss you tender lips.
The summer sunshine should make our love rose enough.
I hope that we still love in heaven.
You are more than just the love of my life you are also my best male friend.
For such sweetness you have, it's hard to explain in words how I feel about you.
I want my future with you I hope it will happen to both of us.
I love you more than the earth and sea.
We love and rest at our best.
I will keep your heart when you need me and want me, you undo my heart with your key.
Your heart is tender enough for me. Written 1994 to 1996.

I had splendid love he was the best gentleman I had ever had.

I thought he was the best I ever had, how wrong was I.
I thought he gave me what I wanted in life, he was my lover.
I don't think we will ever love one another again.
Maybe I will be with him in heaven.
Now I am without him my life is like hell.
If only he still loved me or if only I did not love him anymore.
If only he would have stayed with me he would have been still with me now.
If only he still wanted me.
The year is 1997, Monday 16th May 1994 we met, would have been three years today if we would have still together.
Whatever went wrong between us for it to come to this?
Why did he leave me in the dark alone? Written May 16th, 1997

Love poems.

I love you more than just a true friend.
Please would you be my true boyfriend or is that too much to ask?
I have had so many men who have ended it with me so blue, I really want a love that's forever true.
It seems to me that you are true, I have a lot of trust in you.
Please don't rush things, I would really truly hate to lose you.
I love and miss you just as much.
Maybe one time I will become your bride but not for a long time yet, we have loads of time.
Please don't worry I would not dream of ending it with you because I easily get upset too.
I mean what I say is true, it's the whole truth nothing but the truth.
I hope you believe me too. Written 1997

Love and life.

Love can hurt you enough like a knife that goes through your veins.
When love ends it brings so much pain, strain, and shame.
When love begins it can bring the sweetest of things.
With any luck, your love will be mine right up to the end of time.
Sometimes love can be so mean when you are so keen, it sends up blind right until the end of your time. Written Late 20th century to early 21st century.


I thought I would never love again.

I thought I would be brave enough to love again.
When I love again ups and downs will start again but that's life.
Love can be wonderful, romantic, lovely, and good.
Love can turn evil and bad.
If a long-lasting couple stays together forever.
They go round the bend if they spend too much time together.
Old and gray will pass their days.
No energy of love brings their happy young days back. Written September 1997.

What is love?

Love can be a wonderful thing when it makes the birds sing.
Love can be a hurtful thing then it becomes a painful thing.
Love can put you on a piece of string when it stings.
Love can be full of summer and spring.
You are my lover, there's no other like you.
Beauty is the love of a rose and thorn, one goes where the other one goes.
When young gentleman gives young ladies flowers, it brings men plenty of power.
Please do not fear anymore, please love more.
Oh please let's kiss your lovely tender lips that I miss.
I will look forward to the summer's days in hoping love will be.
The lovely daises come out in the spring of may.
I have had so many loves that have broken my heart, I hope that my heart is art. September 1997.

The feeling of love and pain.

When your heart aches it brings sadness and pain, people get hurt every day.
You feel so unhappy, drinking is the only way to accept that this person has gone.
Lost love feels like death, you feel as if your whole life is going down the drain.
Days and nights pass sadness do not last but happiness does not last either.
It makes you wonder if there is such a word as love, if so love should last forever.
Enjoy happiness while it lasts, please try for your own sake to get over the past.
For a long time tears have run down my eyes when I have been alone without love.
For a long time, I have been frightened to love but I never thought I'd love again.
Now I will love small until I get to know them, I must not rush into things.
I was left standing in the dark without love for a long time, now I am happy.
Sadness fills your life with tears living with a broken heart for years.
When someone you dearly love breaks your heart it cuts you up like a knife.
When my heart is broken I never sleep, I just lye in bed with tearful eyes.
You never forget the old love yet but the memory of your old love lives on.
The love that lets love go, desires to live their lives to regret what they have done. 1997 - 2000


True love.

My true love has got a heart.
My true love has my heart.
I hope we will never ever part.
I hope he is even truer than the last heart.
When I lost my old heart, it felt like death because he was my longest heart.
Now I have a new heart it's as if I never knew the old heart. 1997 - 2000


Love verse one.

I once fell in love with who I thought was a gentleman I thought he was so handsome and sweet.
I feel so guilty for seeing him, I just can't keep my eyes off him.
After two and a half years he went off with someone else.


Find the right heart.
The memory of history love is never in the mind forgotten but we should learn to talk less about the past to look to the future.
As hard as it is be strong, keep trying to love, you know you may well meet the right lover for you.
Sometimes hearts break so bad it puts you off loving anyone at all.
Sometimes you may well want your older lover back, no one else will do.
Sometimes love can end for the best reasons but then in other cases for the worse reasons.
Sweet love should never die.
Love should be perfect enough to keep love but no one should expect to keep love because it does not last forever.
Sadness get's far out of control, love then dies. 1997 - 2000

I miss you so much.

I miss you so much, I dream about you such a lot.
When I sleep, I sleep more deeply than a log.
When I am at the disco, you really truly make the night.
When I get I miss you as if I missed you all my life.
Maybe for once in my life, I might have found the love. 1997 - 2000

Love is for you and me forever.

You sweet kiss of your sweet lips is like a wild red rose.
Tear drops running on my clothes when I do not see you.
When I walk outside the moon light always shines.
I weep in the time I do not see you as tears run down my face.
Very often I hold my brave tears inside my eyes.
My feelings for you my dear are hard to hide.
Why do we love, if we can't keep thy love.
What is the answer for falling in and out of love?
Who is the person that I love? You are the person who I love.
I miss you sweet kiss from your tender lips.
To be kind is to be fair to your love.
I miss you so much when you aren't here with me.
Beauty and kindness is to care, share and be there.
To fall in and out of love can be blind but it does not stop us all. 1997 - 2000

He is the love of my life.

My dearest love, I hope I become your bride.
I will not tie you down though, you can have your freedom.
At the disco we meet again showing our love together.
I hope we will be together forever until our dieing day.
Love should be full of happiness, love should be of laughter.
Love should live happily ever after for every man and woman. 1997 - 2000

Court in couples.

Lovers behind the trees in the fields.
The laddie loves the lassie endlessly.
She stands by smelling the red roses in the park singing a sweet song.
He stops her from singing by kissing her as he kisses her red sweet lips.
They have loved so many times before but their love has been more and more blind.

It's four o, clock in the morning, the cuckoo is calling.
It's a very warm spring morning that's dawning.
The cuckoo bird will sing for joy for the freshness of spring.
When it comes to lying in the sand, summer love is on it's way.
How quiet and peaceful early hours of the morning can be.
How romantic the whole world could be when it wants to be.
To be old and unhappy together fall too love together.
Falling in and out of love far too long, enough is enough time to end love for good.
Moving on love happens and ends again until the end of life.
When death comes it's a loss sorrow, sadness and pain.
From earth to heaven you will love again. Written September 1997

I once fell in love with you.

I once fell madly in love with you.
I thought you were the one for me but how wrong was I?
I thought you were handsome and the most sweetest guy of all.
One night at the Walsall disco I met someone just nice and sweet as you.
After two and a half years I found it hard to stop loving you.
You went off with another lassie and broke my heart in two. Written September 1997


Love verse two.

I can picture your handsome face very clear indeed.
I hope our love will work out to be.
I miss you so much.
I try to sleep but I weep.
I love you so much, I could eat like a pig.
I want to give you wild red roses.
I want to give you my love. Written September 1997

What is love: where is love.

Love can romantic and full of wonderful things.
The happiest time should be spring.
You have to catch the right fish in the sea,( that can be very hard to be.)
Sometimes love can end with so much anger, sorrow and pain.
Sometimes love can be such a strain.
Sometimes love can be anywhere to be.
Sometimes love can met in the most strange places to be.
It could be under the sea. Written September 1997.

Is Mr Mate worth the wait?

When me and you slit my life fell to bits.
I have never felt the same since.
I never thought I'd ever want to love again.
After a long wait I have met Mr Mate.
I just hope Mr Mate was worth the wait. Written September 1997.

I'm the lover of my lad.

I'm the lover of my lad.
I hope spring is around then condor.
It would be great for us to hear the birds sing. Written September 1997


Only you I trust.

When I am not with you, I sometimes feel sad.
When I am not with you, I sometimes feel lonely.
Every night and day I worry about you more than I show you.
I care about you a lot more than I show you.
Sometimes I feel guilty and bad because I don't want to upset you.
I am very often worried in case my feelings are far too heavy for you but I am very fond of you.
I just hope I give you enough space from me, the freedom what you want to do but at the same time I really miss you.
I really enjoy your company.
I really enjoy your fun.
I really enjoy talking to you.
I really enjoy listening to you.
I really enjoy your love.
It seems like your the only man who understands where I am coming from because you are in nearly the same situation as me.


I hope you feel the same about me too.
That does not mean that I want push you into doing what you don't want to do, I enjoy your friendship far too much for that.

I will go along with whatever you want, very close friends or lovers, you are only man I trust.
I hope you trust me the same way.
 17.8.1999

My longest love.

I used to try to sleep but could not I just used to weep.

When morning has risen I could not hardy eat.

I used to think I had nothing to look forward to, the winter was so cold and dull without my longest love, I would just weep even more so.

I used to wonder what to do with myself the depression was that bad.

I wanted to give him roses.


I wanted to give him love.

The long cold nights were lonely and not very nice without him.
The hot summer nights lovers were on their way.
Here I was too frightened to love again, I needed to cool down in my den.

Now I am learning to understand that we are not right for one another after all.

Now he has gone out of my life, I love again I just hope he loves me better than he did.

Now I feel I have a better fella. September 1997.



The open rose that goes. ( part two.)

I used to feel sad to lose your love.
Now I am glad that I have a new love.
I lost the ring you bought, I don't know where I lost it but that's when I knew that our love has gone for good.
Then I found the ring onto of my wardrobe.
Why should I give it back to you?
You bought this ring for me.
Why should I live my life in sin because of you?
I am loving again without more difficulty. September 1997

He has gone.

He has gone out of my life.
I am very sad and very lonely without him.
He left me for another lassie.
I wonder if he still thinks about me? I shouldn't think he does.
I have a very sad feeling he'll never love me again, may be he never did and never will.
My eyes are full of tears after two and a half years.
I don't feel as if anyone is here but me I feel so alone.
I do not feel as if anyone else is out there for me.
No one and not even me can bring him back to me.

I lye on my pillow, wondering what the future will bring and whether my life is worth living or not.
I may meet my next true love under the sea but I wish it could be he.
He has gone out of my life forever, I do not know whether it makes my life worse or better.
I wish he'd send me a letter then may be I would feel better knowing how he really feels.
My heat wonders and breaks.
I wonder whose living a worse life me or him. mid autumn to early winter 1996.


The last time I saw the man I love.


Whether he still loves and cares about me I don't know.
Most of all I know he does not want to talk to me.
He's mind seems very twisted to me.
Surly he can't have got over me just like that.

The last time I saw the man I love he he seemed so confused.
He seemed so full of guilt and hurtful pain.
He has a new love, why isn't he happy at all?
Why does he seem more unhappy than what I do?
There must be many men out there as true as he used to be.
Where are these men to be?
Why can't I find the love I want for me? Autumn to winter 1996


I love you dear.( That's what they all say.)

I love you dear.
Your lying to me dear,
I am not like the rest of the men dear, you don't have a thing to fear.
Oh no you can't be true to me dear, I am not that lucky every man hates me.
Don't be silly dear, you fear too much dear.
I love you dear, I don't hate you dear. Written 1997


We could understand one another.

Me and my ex lover could understand one another in our hearts and minds all the time.
We used to trust one another but I am not sure about now after he broke my heart so badly.
I have no answer to my mind other than the fact that I am so blind to love.
We loved one another so kind or we thought we did.
Looking back it was just a happy dream I have woken up to sadness.
That sadness I will get used to because it's true then it will turn to happiness.
May be I am better off away from him.
I wish I could get him off my mind, he seemed so kind but in the end he hurt me so. Written 1997.


My soft mind.

I can't believe that I believed a dream to be true.
It now seems like an a nightmare but it's the truth.
How silly I was thinking you loved me but you did not.
The fact you have gone out of my life it hurts because I still love you.
It's true that I knew you but a silly dream that you loved me.
I feelings are far too strong to forget the memories.
I find it hard to believe that I thought you were a gentleman. Written 1997.


When I fall in love.

When I fall in love I can't eat or sleep.
I always now fear that my love will never keep.
In some ways love makes me feel strong but in other ways it makes me feel weak.
Night after night, day after day I pray that one day love will come my way.
It will never come my way any day. 1997


The love he found made him blind.

The man I loved who I thought was a gentleman I loved him.
I must have been dreaming because I don't think he loved me.
He is in love with someone else now but it all must be his head, he is so blind to her like I was to him.
He could do better than her but she does not have to be me, she needs to be someone who does not make him blind to the rest of the world.
May be he could meet better than me.
May be I'd be blind to the sunshine in my eyes. 1997


Does my new love still want me?

I wrote a letter, does it make things worse or better?
What would he do if I turned up on his door step?
Will he love me more or less? End of 1997
.


Is my love blind?

When I have fallen in love I have always been blind.
Being blind is always at the back of my mind.
I feel love sick yet I could be blind.
There so many emotions going through my possible blind mind.
Am I blind enough to not know that my love may die.
I hope that my love will stay alive.
I hope that he will always be mine.
No matter many years I have loved I have always been blind. Written end of 1997.


What happened to us?

I loved you, did you love me?
I think we loved each other as much as we could but I don't think you believed how much I really loved you.
Then I question in those two and a half years did you love me.
May be I used to dream that you loved and that I am starting to wake up from that dream sadly knowing you did not after all.
What happened to us, what did we both do wrong to one another?
You were my longest true love, that's why I can't forget your love.
I know I can't live in hope, all I can do is get on with life to see what happens.
Now I don't mind what you want to do, as long as you are happy.
This poem is written from me to you to tell you that I still love and care about you.
Don't worry I am not saying we should get back together, we will never be how we used to be.
I just want you to be happy with or without me, I must learn to feel that way about you too. Written 27.2.1999.


I hold my pen to write romantic poetry to you.

You do not love me anymore, this was why I had to walk out your door.
Falling in love with someone new is very hard to do after having been in love with you so long.
If ever can fall in love with someone new I'd still spend the rest of my life writing romantic poetry about you whether come back to me or not.
It's hard to believe that I will love anyone more than I loved but I still do.
My voice of love If we will ever be lovers again will speak romantic words to you.
All I am saying is those romantic words from me to you, my hand is holding the pen to write these romantic words to you.
The pen is giving the paper the romantic touch to you, the words just flow off my pen.
You have broken my heart and my mind is unable to think about nothing but you.
Why do I love you so much as you hurt me so much?
Yes I know what you said, " Sara love someone else, you can do better than me."
Yes your right what you said but the way you hurt me, my feelings won't let me.
May be I will become stronger one day you will see. Written late 1996 to mid 1997.


Love.

Love can be bitter, love can be sweet, love is a feeling of one or the other.
Love can change in many ways day after day.
Love can be blind, love can be unkind.
Love can be a memory to remember but sometimes love will never be the same again.
When history love has gone it is time to move although some lovers love again.
Make the most of happiness while it is still here it may not last forever.
Before you know it happiness go quicker than what you think but it could stay long than what you think or forever.
Nothing always happens the way you want so make the best of what you have got that you do enjoy.
Dreams can be wishful thinking.
Do be thy brave let's love again not to be left out of love in any way.
When I lost my longest love, my heart was lying broken and still. 1997 - 1998


I am so deeply in love with you.

One love is like a wild rose.
You keep me warm when the wind blows cold.
There is a happy song in my heart, my heart is full of love for you.

I am a lassie who loves her dear laddie.
I hope that you will always be faithful to me my dear laddie.
I am so deeply in love with you, it feels so true.
I can not believe that I have had so many loves who have been untrue, I hope you are not like them.
I will always love you my dear.

I will love you forever until the day I die.
When we have both died our love be close together in heaven just the same as we are alive.
I want to be with you by the deep blue sea, until the sea turns gray and dry.
As love goes on see the sunshine on the deep blue sea.
As we hold hands on the yellow happy sand, I will make you feel more than a man. 1997 - 1998


Happiness

Look forward to it, there is a big future out there for you.
You might not see it but there are many things for you to look forward to.
(What is there to look forward to?) The future is a secert for everyone.
You must wonder what, I don't know we all have to wait and see.
If your life at the moment is very hurtful, hard and upsetting you must find it hard to see that it will get better but it really will.
Happiness comes along to those who wait.
If you are not happy now one day you will be happy.
Yesterday has gone and tomorrow is to come.
Today is still here but soon be gone.
Who knows tomorrow may well be better than today.
If you wait nice and patient things may come your way. 1999 -2000


The past.

The past was yesterday, it was an nightmare it did not happen.
Here is today we must be positive about what could happen today.
Yesterday was a bad day we were not thinking straight or should we were dreaming that it was a bad day, let's put it behind!
We must learn to think of good things not bad.
Think of the bad things as nightmares.
We must accept the bad but bring in the good.
Dream happy thoughts but understand that life is not all good.
Some days will be good other days will be bad.
Not everyday can be the same.
Not everyday can go to one's way.
If one waits long enough happiness may well be on it's way.
Happiness come along that you may not have thought of wanting it could make you happy all the same. 21.8.1999

My life without you.

I think about you when I am in my flat.
I go out at night alone wishing you were with me.
I feel so happy to hear your voice on the telephone.
When I think about you I try not to cry, I don't cry.
I think, wait looking forward to seeing you again, we enjoy our time together.
It may well be a long time until we meet again but however long I will wait.
It comes to those who wait. 5.8.2000

Forget the past.

I must learn from my mistakes that I have made in the past and forget.
I must make the most of my life as I hope I am getting wiser as I get older.
I won't be forever living but forever dead, time goes so fast.
It's believed that heaven is a difference world but that's never known.
Whether heaven is better or worse than earth we may or may not find out.
We can't say whether or not that we will come back to earth as animals.
It's hard to know whether to believe in heaven and hell or not.
My advice is to live life to the full in case where ever we go in our next is not better than earth.
It hard to believe whether or not there is any life after death.
Once we have gone we may have gone, it's hard to believe whether we are ghosts or not, we may never to be seen again.
Look forward to nice things in the future.
Forget bad things in the past but remember the good things.
Accept the bad but enjoy the good, you only live once.
You can not say for sure seeing is believing, you will never know whether you are going to see or not until your final passing.
You will also never know whether you are going to tell anyone until you get there. 5.8.2000


Love verse three.

In my dreams and in truth we have kissed each others' lips.
Now it's over bet ween us we only kiss in dreams.
In my dreams you have held me just like you used to do in your loving arms.
The one thing that's missing is the feeling of your touch.

I also miss your body close to mine.
I think about you everyday in every way.
I dream about you every night until the morning light.
When I wake up in the morning light, I notice that you are not by my side.
This is disappointing for me but such as life.
I love you with all my heart even if you will never love me again.
Now I have learned there is no matching love for me but darling in my eyes you were the best lover I ever had yet.
Before I lost you I never thought I's lose you, you will be missed by me for a long time if not forever.
Please accept that I will always miss you then I will accept that I have lost your love.

I love and miss you company very much.
You always put the bright sides into my life.
You always bought me so much happiness that I miss so much.
I have a very unhappy feeling I will never ever have your love back.
I will never ever be able to feel the touch of your tender body and kiss of your lips.

In my dreams, mind and memory you are still mine until the day I die.
Love will always be in my heart for you if you want me too.
My heart is pumping with love for you.
No matter how many loves I have after you my feelings won't be as strong for them as they are for you.
The way you feel about me is unknown to me but I will accept my life and my future to come. 21.2.2000


Two lovers come together.

When two lovers come together they live in heaven.
In heaven love lasts forever through good and bad weather.
Heaven is such a fairly tale world that's hard whether to believe or not.
Earth is the real world of facing the truth whether the truth is good or bad news for us.
There's a lot happiness and sadness for every girl, woman, boy and man. 1997 - 2000

I love the way!

I love the way you look at me.
I love the way you smile at me.
I love the way you laugh at me.
I love the way you listen and talk to me.
All in all, I love you in every way.
All in all, you are a very good friend to me. 15.8.1999

My dream

Walking through peace and quiet across a field on a hot Summer's day.
Every single flying and singing away.
The leaves on the trees are dark green.
Red roses in the garden are so romantic.
The company of been arm in arm with a very young gentleman I love. 26.2.2000



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