Tuesday 5 July 2016

1996 to 2010 Poetry Part 12.

What have you done for me?

What have you done for me?
Nothing at all
before I knew you I didn't know what was coming to me.
I loved you in thinking you were the man for me, little did I know I was wrong to be.

Even though a lot of people knew the truth of you, I found out myself in the end.
In time I stopped loving you in my own time.
My feelings and walking away from you was hard to cope with at the same time.
You were a hard habit to break for a long time.
This made me learn the hard way.

In time I realized I was wrong to love a man who couldn't
 make up his mind how he felt about me.
How blind was I?
You couldn't make up your mind between me and her.
Wasn't my love good enough for you?
Isn't one love enough for you?

Your charm and sense of humor was what attracted me
 to you but your mind games and lies were hurting me all the time. 
My feelings towards you were keep me there for a long time yet
 I was so blind and out of my mind to have put up with you so long.

It must be sad to be you not knowing what you
 want in life when one lover isn't enough for you.
It seems to take a hell of a lot to make you happy or nothing at all.
A little is never enough for you.

Now it's far too late to kneel, beg, scream and cry back in my life like a boyish child.
Each and every way your a loser.

In the end you are your own victim not the women because the way you treat women,
 you will have no luck at all.
In the end you have made yourself weak and us strong.

All these years I lived your lie thinking that you loved me but you didn't.
I won't be the first or last to have made that mistake.
I have gained you have lost.
I have gained love but if anyone love you now they won't
 put up with as much mind games and lies as I did.
She won't be as weak as I used to be. 25.11.2014

I'm no poet, I just have a way with words.

I left school having learned nothing at all, nothing to please the eyes of society anyway.
Society taught me nothing at all.
When I wrote these words at twenty-seven years old
 I was just classed as talking a load of rubbish not
 classed as a poet but then I don't see myself as anyone special.
Society think of poets being boring, boring maybe but
 then we are a boring because we tell the truth  but the we are not lieing
 or telling the truth like everyone we are not always right like no one always is ,
 we just have a way with words.
Disabled people poets in the eyes of society are a laughing stock,
 I'm one of them but that doesn't make me bright but then I'm not thick either.
Society sees people with disabilities and health problems as
 hard work and as if we should be named and shamed for the way we are,
 we are not at fault to why we are as we are.
These things could have to anyone at any time,
 how would life to be blamed and shamed for what's happened to you? 
Our life matters just like yours does.
Society sees us as slow and thick
I'm a poet with disabilities who wasn't as a poet in school,
 I'm no poet I just have a way with words.
I'm not thick I’m not bright I'm just misunderstood for someone
 I'm not just like others like me and not much different.

Poets are not poets, we are no one special, and we just have a way with words.
There must be plenty in my shoes who have their own skills and abilities.
Everyone has different abilities in different ways.
We all have weaknesses and strengths in different ways to each other. 30.11.2014 


All Dyslexia.

May be it's all our minds I admit to write and say but it's also all truth that has to be told.
It's dyslexic words that think too much or not at all.
Who says too much but then says nothing at all.
Who remembers too much but remember nothing at all.
Every day the brain is different which is why we are so hard
 for a lot of non dyslexic to understand yet like all of
 you we are not good and bad at the same things.
It's all Dyslexia poetry with me when my mind thinks too much, I'm a dyslexic poet.
My brain works when I have lot of ideas what to write then
 I think too much otherwise I don't write at all
Letters in words are mostly in the wrong places but not all the time,
 I don't get it wrong every single time.
Many things are written and said the wrong way round but not all the time.
Words jump off the page in small print when I read.
Mostly I can't remember what read.
Like I said I can vary from remembering a lot to nothing at
 all depending on what I am reading and the day.
Every day is unknown what's going to be to me but
 I can only guess for other people with Dyslexia too.
Number 62 becomes number 26.
Bb becomes Dd.
E becomes i instead of i after e.
Because becomes become.
Mn becomes Nn.
Rr becomes Mm.
Pp becomes Qq.
We don't get it wrong every single day.
Our brain works different each and every day.
Like all of you we are good and bad at different things.
Not all dyslexic people face the same problems or the same talents. 27.12.2014

Dyslexic poet.

I'm a Dyslexic poet with a Dyslexic mind.
I write poetry because I think most of the time.
Too many words go through my mind or none at all.
At times the world can be so unkind, misunderstanding to not able to read and write.
I just say, do, write and think of things the wrong way round, I even miss things out.
I miss words out of sentences.
My dyslexia can vary from words I can't spell, words I can't read and words I can't recognize.
Put the right letters in the wrong places of words but it doesn't happen like this all the time.
Get 62 mixed up 26.
I don't always get things the wrong way round, every day is different.
None this is on purpose.
What makes me a Dyslexic poet?
 I have thoughts when my mind isn't blank.
I say things far too long for others to have the time to listen to me.
I find very hard to put things in a short way.
This is why I need support in essays and assignments plus needing someone to proof read my work to see it makes sense.
I have weaknesses and I have talent.
I weaknesses are all the problems I face in being Dyslexic.
My talents are thought that go through my head that are words that are put into poetry.
My drawing and painting is my other ways of expressing what I think about. 27.12.2014


I want to be with you.

Your on my mind when I awake every single morning.
Your on my mind 24 hours a day.
Even though we mostly chat online every day.
In 2015 I want to see a bit more of you but only when the time is right.
You may want more out of this relationship the closer you get to me.
Your so special to me that I want to keep us special.
I want things to be right for us, this is why I'm taking our time for us.
Relationships can be strange things because two people
 can't force what's not to be to be but if two people rush things they will never be. 
I'm not avoiding you I am just hoping to get things right this
 time because in the past I got it wrong every single time.
I wish no more to see more of you but i'm taking my time
 because want to be not only special but right for us.
I've fallen over and got up again so many times cause by rushing into things.
Time to get it right this, time to take my time.
I don't want to put you through what I have been through.
I'm getting no younger and sorry to say babe neither are or anyone.
Time for me to stop making big and little mistakes and
 do the right thing just once and forever in my life.
Sara, Stop rushing into things but don't force that's not to be!
It doesn't mean I mean I don't love you Tim but I want you to be happy as well as me.
I want things to be right for you as well as me but just remember
 nothing is ever perfect whatever you do and whoever you are with, believe you and me. 28.12.2014

I never knew you.

It's like writing lines in school when you have been naughty.
Say what you need to learn until you have learned it for sure.
I never knew you at all; I just made you up in my head.
You were my head for a lot of year but now I'm will to get you out.
You were just in my head.
You were just in my mind.
Now I have to get you out of my mind now I have got you out of my life.
I love someone who is real who is a real; you are a real person Tim is.
I'm free.
I'm me.
Free from you to be me like I use to me.
I was so blind to have you on my mind when you weren't really there.
To believe you’re not real even though where is the only way to get you out of my mind and head.
I just write these lines until you’re completely out my mind,
 in time you’re not real or in my mind at all.
The man I love is real.
You’re not the man I love because you’re not real. 
You were like a flying Ant in my mind but not anymore. 28.12.2014


Time to let go.

I never knew you.
You are never real.
I just dream t you.
I just made you up.
I just had nightmares about and just woke up to find you’re not real.
I don't love Mr Nobody no more because he was a flying Ant all my head.
You will never see me again at your house door.
I know a real person who loves me for me and I love him for him.
What I get from him is real because he is real is Tim. 28.12.2014 


Good bye 2014.


There's good and bad in every year like there's good and bad in everybody.

I have learned more about the man I love.
My nephew Jaiden was born.
My best mate Molly who I went Infants school died.
I improved more on my work and study, even though I passed my speaking and listening and writing but failed reading twice in Level 1 reading.
I must get it right this time for 2015. 28.12.2014



Turn back the clock.

There's no going back all we can do is go forward.
We can't mend what's been broken.
You can't always change what's been done.
Most of us are so blind to the world when we are young.
When we wake up it's very often too late or and we are too old.
No good been mad with ourselves and others when mistakes big or and small are already made.
Those mistakes may have been made for us to learn right from wrong.
Those mistakes may have made us the people we are today.
What did wrong yesterday we learn from it today.



Turn back the clock.

There's no going back all we can do is go forward.
We can't mend what's been broken.
You can't always change what's been done.
Most of us are so blind to the world when we are young.
When we wake up it's very often too late or and we are too old.
No good been mad with ourselves and others when mistakes big or and small are already made.
Those mistakes may have been made for us to learn right from wrong.
Those mistakes may have made us the people we are today.
What did wrong yesterday we learn from it today.
People not much different to one another.
We are not as soft as we used to be, we just need to keep our eyes open more. 28.12.2014


When every year closes.

When every year closes I never know what poems to write.
I try to write one poem different to the other.
Write poems about poems.
Have meetings about meetings.
May be every old year we tend to ask for too much for every New Year.
Let's face it; life is full of good and bad.
First we feel happy then we feel sad.
We can have life just one way.
One thing about getting older we get wiser to what life is about.
We get stronger to whichever way it turns. 28.12.2014
  

Looking around.

I see different faces in different places with different races.
All human beings we are too been with rights we should have rights to have.
The rights to live life in peace not war but war is all it tends to be.
Too many people have lost homes and businesses over the years, which still happen now.
Not everything is all negative but not many things are positive these days.
Look at life from both ways and just except the unexpected whether it's good or bad.
Be prepared on whatever life throws at you because that's about you can do.
Have a positive mind but don't build your hopes anything all.
Prepare yourself for it working both ways then you become
 stronger to the negative side and enjoy the positive side.  28.12.2014

Winter isn't winter now.

Season is so mixed up these days.
In a strange way mixed seasons are a good and bad thing.
All four seasons can change in one day.
Insects live all year round yet they used to die in the winter.
It's never cold enough as many people are getting more mice than ever before.
We don't see as many snowdrops as we did before because we get less snow than we did before.
Yet day becomes night so quickly, clock go forward in the summer but back in the winter, not every changes most things do.
All seasons vary all year round these days. 28.12.2014 -29.12.2014


To enjoy yourself too much.

A normal night is enough to have a couple beers then to sleep, not that I see alcohol is important but seeing local friends in my local pub.
I keep forgetting I'm getting young.
Once in while I go too far like Christmas and New Year.
I paid for my mistake my Christmas hangover the next day.
My own silly fault I know I guess I won’t be the first or the last.
None of us can be perfect but we are all different.
Life would be all boring if we were all the same. 28.12.2014 - 29.12.2014


Positive future. 

To be loved is to be popular.
Your beauty and your humor is your happiness.
To be fun to be with is your joy.
To be full of youth and health is your fun.
Your time, experience and freedom are your success. 28.12.2014 - 29.12.2014 

Introducing poetry.

I'm not introducing poetry I'm introducing poetry.
The way with words is what I have got I'm not a poet.
All words mean thing but too many of the same words mean
 different things like two meaning number 2, too much meaning too, to me and you meaning too.
The English language is so hard yet clever when it's done.
Our thoughts can be strange that go through our mind.
We can express ourselves in so many different ways.
Different people find different ways to be understood.
My poetry and art to be my way to be understood otherwise too many of you I can go on too much.
Just stop reading if I'm boring you or if you have little or no time to right my work.
Many cut off the phone because they have no time to listen to me but
 due to my dyslexia I find it hard to express myself in a short way.
My way to express is poetry and art, may be a novel one day
 in a strange way sorry to say. 29.12.2014- 30.12. 2014

When you’re a poet.

To me one can be become a thousand words.
To me I see one word then I see another.
I don't really see myself as a poet, I'm just writing as if I'm talking, I'm no one special.
Getting it down on paper can be better than saying it yet
 I can say too much just as much or nothing at all when my mind is blank.
Then you say something, and then think nothing at all.
Put the phone on me because I say too much!
Stop reading my poem because it's too long.
That's up to you because some of my poems may be long enough.
It works both ways because when you want to talk I want to talk.
May be some days I get balance right I just don't know.
My mind can be blank other days with nothing to say.
What goes around comes around.
I may go on too long but I do have a talent of a way with words.
That doesn't make me special, clever or famous, I'm just me.
What goes through my mind goes into my writing.
When it comes to writing I must read my poems into a voice recorder on my phones 29.12.2014 - 30.12.2014




I used to love losers.
I used to love losers but didn't a lot of us.
I won't be the first and I won't be the last to mistake losers as romance.
I never really knew what love was.
I'm with someone new I hope I have got right this time.
I'm sure I've got it right this time.
He loves me for me and I love him for him. 29.12.2014 - 30.12.2014

I pulled through.

I'm away from your lying and cheating, I know you were.
I don't need to question you in my head anymore.
You didn't stop with me while you had the chance because you knew where going be questioned.
You had to hide away from what you knew you had to face.
Don't worry because in the end I walked away from your bitter twisted mind.
The man who couldn't make up his mind what he wanted.
The man who loved me one minute but not the next therefore you didn't love me at all.
What were you trying to achieve?
You thought you killed me off but then you achieved nothing at all
Just by messing my head around you thought you killed me.
Old fool you I fell down and got back up again.
I have nothing to thank you for then I have but not,
 made me strong then you thought you'd do me no favors at all.
In the end you message with wrong woman little either of us realized, only I did in the end.
You thought you'd kill me.
What does it feel like to be so wrong?
What does feel like to not to achieve what you wanted to?
Nice try Mr Hard but you’re not, you’re a crowd yet I never saw me getting by in the end. 29.12.2014 - 30.12.2014.

Getting old.

Now I'm starting to feel wore and tore in my face.
Middle age spread on my tummy and under active thyroid.
Now life is passing me by at the age of 45.
Yes I know I have to face it that I'm not alone in the world.
I feel less emotional than I used to be, nothing seems to surprise me anymore.
Time makes me stronger.
I'm me; I'm nobody's victim no more.
I know one isn't the same but it's hard to say who’s good and who’s bad. 29.12.2014 - 30.12.2014


you tried to hurt me with your words.

It took me a lot of years to realize that your bark is bigger than your bit, bad try.
You never frighten me any more day or night.
I should have realized what you say you would is not true; you just do mostly the opposite.
Once 2014 is closed you’re out of my
Site
Mind
Poetry
some how, some way altogether you will be out of my life and mind. 30.12.2014

The beach the sea.

I saw and heard the waves of the sea on Mar gate beach.
The waves rushed as the tide came in and out,
 as the warm breeze blew about, as the children screamed and shout.
Even though the weather was beautiful, sunny blue sky, the waves clashed along the rocks.
Seagulls were flying and shrieking very quickly across the sky very angrily.
The rides were too fast at Dreamland fun fair, it feel like been on a roller coaster.
Never eat candy floss before the rides; it can make you feel sick and dizzy.
The smell of fish and chips on the coast, I never used to seem to miss.
The sun breeze was hot.
Noisy children on the beach screaming, laughing and crying.
Building sandcastles and swimming in the sea you and me.
Walking along the shops across the road from the beach looking at
 the cartoon post cards, it's time to cool down.
Donkey rides took up all the whole of the beach.
How I miss the sea, wouldn't it be a place for you and me?
I could do without climbing the rock caves but I will walk along the rocky hills.
The smell of seaweed never seemed to miss my noise. 30.12.2014

1987 storm.

I put the chicken feed on the trays.
The wind spins me round as held the trays and the bowls with the chicken feed in.
I bend down to feed the chickens, Miss Coyne said
" Sara move one step as a tree is nearly falling on your head."
I moved away as quick as I could as the rain run the soil into mud. 30.12.2014


we will get there slowly.

I know it's not easy for either of us living so far apart from
 one another but one way or the other we will work it out.
Having patience is the main thing; each other is all we need.
We will see a bit more of one another when the time is right.
All I want is you; words can't express how strongly I feel about you.
We will have our private time in. 30.12.2014

if I wasn't human.

If I wasn't human I would have wanted to be a flying bird to be free anywhere I want to be.
No one to answer to just me and to be with you, you see. 30.12.2014



My love for you.

How I have missed you today more like I have every other day.
My love for you is like petals of a flower.
Time is never too long till I see you next even though it may seem like it.
The winter is far too cold without you.
Winter seems to go on when I'm not with you.
Winter seems to go on with wind and rain, which is such a pain.
People were wearing Macs, umbrellas and wellington boots.
We had a little snow the other day but didn't last long.
Cent-re heating dries your skin but keeps you warm.
It's never cold enough for the robin redbreast.
The insects and mice are out instead. 30.12.2014



Despite of the frost.

Last night there wasn't a cloud in the sky but there was just half of moon with frost.
What a frost night it was, the car park was like an ice ring and the cars were covered with frost.
Through to today it's been taking it's time to melt two days of frost with a sun set so bright but cold.
Hopefully there will be no frost tonight.
Roll on spring when we hear the birds again sing.
There's no sun when it's cold, it's just the moon melting frost away.
No leaves on the trees but the sun that was the moon melts the frost,
 it's not winter or spring, it's four seasons all in one.
No flowers to be seen no sign of spring.
Last night I thought I was coming down with a cold but I
 was so wrong, the frost gave me a chill up my nose.
Now I'm getting older I'm feeling it colder but
 I never stop living my life to the full till the day I die.
Now time flies by so fast but time waiting to see you goes so slow as I'm waiting.
All the same I like you to have a life of your own like I have mine even though I miss you much.
To see each other a bit more would be bliss to be able to feel more than just your tender kiss.
To be able to hear your voice on the phone is just as good,
 to see the words you type on line makes me pine.
To see each other in person is even better for us both, 30.12.2014

Poems are.

Words you say on a page.
The pen talks to the paper from the poet's mind.
Ideas can just spring to the poet's mind at any time.
Many ideas come from nowhere at all.
Many poets can be inspired by other poets.
Many poets like writers can research different things.
Most of us poet can vary where our ideas come from to write our poems. 30.12.2014







I want to write a poem.

I want to write a poem but I don't what kind of poem to write.
Oh I forget that I'm not a poet, I just write words.
I can't say how much I will say in this verse.
I will write whatever comes to mind on this line.
I try to entertain readers the best I can but then
 I may write sense but then I may write a load of rubbish. 30.12.2014



 We will work on this.

A good private chat is what we need.
There's nothing to worry about no one has done anything wrong.
It will be to say how things are and hopeful talk about our future but still take our time.
All what I have been through I don't want to put on you.
Thank you so much for taking me on board,
 for what I have been through I can be a very easy person to get to know.
So sorry if I have took my pain on you.
Some things I say may sound a bit harsh but that's just me being on my guard,
 which will never change.
I will be so lucky to carry having you in my life despite of what I am like.
To me you can never do any wrong but no one can be right all the time,
to me you’re my world. 30.12.2014






It's been a long time.

It's been a long time since I have been to the sea.
What you and me are going to see the sea.
I miss the warm breeze.
It's hard to know what the weather is going to be like with
 the seasons all over the place very often all in one day.
I miss the smell of fish and chips alone the coast. 31.12.2014


Happy New.

I can't be believe it's this time of year all ready.
Christmas has come and gone so fast.
It's the last day of 2014; it doesn't seem long since the last day of 2013.
Today has been a dull grey day with no sunset or frost.
England’s dull and grey sky yet Black Country’s dark day.
Now the frost has gone the fireworks are going off to slowly bring in 2015.
Now New Year can't come fast enough to bring things back to normal to how they were.
I'm now letting 2014 out today and 2015 in tomorrow. 31.12.2014





Time to look forward.


It’s time to look forward not to look back.
Look back on the good not on the bad.
Look back on the happy not on the sad.
Most important don’t looks back at all, look forward to the good times to come.
Bad will happen in all our lives but be strong to hard times
 that will come along, those things we can't stop no matter how hard we try.
All the same the good is there to look forward to.  31.12.2014


Love poem to you on New Year.

I am looking forward to spending time with you when it comes.
However long it takes I'm there for you.
I'm here to enjoy the good times with you, support you through the rough and bad.
I know we live two hours apart from each other but
 we keep in touch like we have done in the past two years online, text and phone. 31.12.2014


So I write.

So I Write it's cold frosty night when I'm wishing you were here to hold me tight.
I've just come in tonight; my hands are like ice, which isn't a nice site.
Therefore life is such a fright when it's a frosty cold night.
No wind and no flying kites.
When the wind blow, it free to blow everything away so keep everything out of site.
The wind talks when it blows away to say.
" come back another day."
" Come quick, I will blew you away!"
Then comes a frosty day on its way shall we say?
“Don’t blow your washing away!" 31. 12.
2014


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