Change of feelings.
So I loved you so long ago.
It took years to stop feeling in love with you.
For the time we were together I thought it would never end.
I haven't felt that strong for anyone yet.
I want someone who loves me for me and who will never hurt me at all like you did. 18. 4.2014 - 14.8.2015
I missed you.
I missed you but you broke my heart.
You built my hopes up to think it would never end between us.
I have accepted the disappointment now and it's time to move on.
I'm never going back to find in time that you would break my heart again.
How can I honesty trust you?
Yes I can cope I have been through it so many times before with you but never again.
I have learned not everything goes the way I want.
You don't loved me the way you said you do, you just want to play with my mind.
That long love for you now has turned into hate and anger because of the way you hurt me and I put with it for so long, I loved you so much.
Now there's no going back you have to let go just like I had to when you didn't want me.
You haven't only blown it in the realtionship but our friendship, it was hard to be friends after been lovers so long.
Your loss, you let me go to start now it's too late for you because I don't love you anymore and I don't miss you anymore. 18.4.2014 - 14.8.2015
Writing comes from the mind.
So little time to write and so little time to type on my website.
Not easy to put down words in the way readers can read and understand.
Can't but think my work isn't clear, I just write that goes through my mind.
How strange is that mind of mine.
I'm no one special, I just write what I'm thinking with my pen.
Mostly my mind thinks to fast for my pen, I don't always have time to see if it makes sense. 18.4.2014 - 14.8.2015
Life in is bits and pieces.
Nothing is straight forward.
Everything is all over the place.
Nothing seems to stay where it should be.
Good in one way bad in another.
It would be a boring world if everything and everybody was the same.
We are all born to die whether we are human or an animal.
We think, we live our lives and we change.
We are our own people. 18.4.2014 - 14.8.2015
Over powered.
Over powered by government, how dare they control us.
Rules are needed but they go too far.
Yes life is what we make it but it's not true in all cases.
The rights to balance life not to be too easy or too hard.
Britain can be too tight and greedy with money.
Money doesn't buy love and happiness. 18.4.2014 - 14.8.2015
Writing travelling.
Not easy to write when traveling.
However' it is easy to write on the plane.
There's so much to see and do when writing on the plane.
It can be so hard to remember what happened on the holiday.
Even today's IT with pictures can remember where you have been.
I need to recognize planes and study maps.
I have done so much, I have a writer's block. 14.4.2014 - 18.8.2015
Passion for writing.
It takes me a while to think what to write.
Once I get a thought to write goodness knows when I will stop.
I have no talent just words, mostly words that don't mean a lot that just come out somehow.
My mind can go blank before I write again.
My mind can work faster than my pen, which doesn't seem to make sense.
Many people think because I am Dyslexic that I can't read and write.
My work is not necessary clear compared to non Dyslexic people.
Things seem to be written, read and said the wrong way round in order to make sense. 18.4.2014 - 14.8.2015
On the road.
On the road to Woodstock New York and the sun is shining.
Woodstock's history of 60s American bands.
It's hard to write while travelling in the car as the car moves with my mind.
It doesn't seem as if there are anymore poems to come. 18.4.2014 - 14.8.2015
You've gone out my mind.
Now it's time I'd got you off my mind.
Time to move on.
I need to move on.
I have to move on.
It's far too late for you to love me again, I can't let you break my heart again.
I have no more love for you to go back to anymore.
So much time has past to a point my mind is getting too stronger and stronger for you.
Now I have realized us parting has been the best thing to happen.
All these years your love for me was all but one big lie.
I loved you so much now I hate you so much.
One day I will find myself stopping writing poetry about you.
Poetry is more like lines I need to sink into my head.
I have got over feeling in love with you now I need to get over the anger I feel towards you and forget you altogether until I feel nothing at all. 19.4.2014 - 15.8.2015
View
Mountains of Woodstock everywhere full of forests, trees and departments.
Old winter trees and new spring trees.
Green leaves all over the trees in the summer.
The deep blue sky without the clouds.
The long bumpy roads. 19.4.2014 - 15. 8 . 2015
It was warm.
Beautiful lakes, hills and forests.
People fishing on lakes.
The lakes seem to go forever.
The sky might be deep blue but not always warm. 19.4.2014 -
Today.
Today will be a good day.
Today will be a warm day.
Whatever the weather there's ways of enjoying the day.
Think about the villages and shops of Woodstock.
The year of my birth when the American pop stars went into rock.
Jimi Hendricks playing in Woodstock over forty years ago.
Brain Jones lost his life in a swimming pool in England yet Jim Morrison lost his life same day different year in Paris.
Neil Armstrong landed on the moon at the same time Brain Jones was sacked from the Rolling Stones. 19.4.2014 - 15.8.2015
Let's say it how it is.
Let's face the truth even though it will hurt.
There's no reason for us to keep going on and off in our realtionship so let's stop friends!
Your lucky your still in my life, I'm still your friend. 29.8.2015
Please tell me why?
Despite of not seeing a lot of each other we still have our ups and downs.
Nothing is straight forward or perfect, it would be a boring life if it was.
As we both love one another we should be number one to each other.
Things weren't easy for us before tell me why you finished with me twice?
Even though I love you I can't take no more of us been on and off, which is why I thought about us stopping the contacts to learn to accepted that we are not to be as a couple as much as I don't want us to stop the contacts. 30.8.2015
I don't want to hurt you or disappoint you.
This realtionship either stays on or stays off otherwise it's not good for either of us.
All human beings deservice to be loved and respected.
I know you didn't want to finish with me and hurt me but I understand your reasons behind this.
Let's just keep it as friends now before you drive me to stop the contacts.
Some things we don't like to hear can sometimes be the truth. 30.8.2015
I don't know why I feel the way I do about you.
Sorry if I have been childish.
If I knew the reason why I feel the way I do about you, I would tell you the reason.
There's no easy way of saying it or writing it in the right words to the way you would read and understand due to my Dyslexia.
So sorry to give you the unexpected last night.
Just to let you know everything I said last night wasn't the drink, I mean't what I said I say what I mean and I wouldn't have led you on if the answer would have been yes but I'm not forcing what can't happen either.
Everything you said I accept and sorry I told you the unexpected but then it wouldn't have been said if I didn't feel that way.
All the same I will do my best not to spoil a great friendship. May 2016.
Let's just be mates!
Now is the time to be cruel to be kind.
No matter how we both feel we need to draw the line.
We live too far and between one another.
I know it's hard to accept but being just friends from now on is the right thing to do.
I don't want to blank you out my life but we need to be cruel to be kind and if don't accept you, you will drive me out your life altogether. 13. 6.2016
I will get you out of my mind.
Trying to get out of my mind is like writing lines when you are been naughty as a child in school.
You write it again and again to get the information in your mind what you must and mustn't do.
I have got you out of my life but I need to get you out of my head.
You didn't want me in your life when I was there then when I was out you wanted me back, I can't be doing with your games like that.
Your just not real your just poison to my head.
You are just made up, your just a nightmare and I didn't know you really.
You are all in my head.
I have walked away from you or at least I dreamt I did, I never really knew you.
I believe if I think like I do one day I will completely get over you.
You thought could break me so did I not anymore.
You thought you could poison, it felt like it to me but no.
You thought you could scar me, I felt scared by you but not anymore.
You don't kill me because all you are is just words and talk, You never always did what you said anyway.
You act hard as if you can break the whole world but as your Mum used to say, you bark is bigger than your bite.
How sad it must be to think your hard, your not happy unless someone is your emotional victim, surely I'm not the only one whose been there with you.
If only those who don't know you knew like I do, the reason they don't is because you go around as if your Mr Nice Guy as if butter won't melt in your month, you seem very charming but underneath you are a mind player mainly when it comes to relationships, I pity whoever you are with now if you are with anyone.
You are just a bully whose not happy unless your upsetting someone emotionally.
What goes around comes around, like when you finished with me I had to accept it, it was hard but I got through, when I left your life total different story. 6.7.2016
May be I am not the best.
I never try to be better compared to anyone for anyone.
I don't except anyone to see me as the best.
In me is what you see is what you get but if you don't like that just walk away!
I'm not loaded with money, which is not important.
I am what I am and I don't try to be someone I am not.
I am no one but me, take me as I am or don't take me at all.
Like everyone I can be in the wrong and the right, I will admit that.
I am not perfect no one is and I am human like everyone.
If don't want me in your life, just say and I will walk away. 9.7.2016
What it must be like to be you.
You thought you could keep me as a victim of your love forever but you thought wrong and I walked away.
You throw me away twice and picked me back up, throw me away so I was taking no more of your childish mind games.
I will keep writing poetry until I get you out of my mind, if I can leave your life, I can get you out of my mind.
You may have left me a mess but you haven't, you don't have to pick up the piece I can do that myself like I have been doing so for the past nine years.
I am not letting you mess me around no more.
I bet your life has been nothing without me, why should I care because you cared nothing about me you only pretended to be.
I cared more about you than you did about me, I can't believe I did for so long, I wasted so much over you.
I have gone out of it for good because you were never grateful when I was there.
No one could never know what you were like.
It must be so sad to not be happy with whatever your life is like.
If I would have accepted you back a third time you would have messed me round again and again, I'm not putting up with that for the rest of my life 13 and a half years was more than enough to put with someone like you.
No one could ever know what's it's like to be, to not know what you want and not to be happy however your life is, that shows just how ungrateful and what a loser you really are. 9.7.2016
Now is the time to be cruel to be kind.
No matter how we both feel we need to draw the line.
We live too far and between one another.
I know it's hard to accept but being just friends from now on is the right thing to do.
I don't want to blank you out my life but we need to be cruel to be kind and if don't accept you, you will drive me out your life altogether. 13. 6.2016
I will get you out of my mind.
Trying to get out of my mind is like writing lines when you are been naughty as a child in school.
You write it again and again to get the information in your mind what you must and mustn't do.
I have got you out of my life but I need to get you out of my head.
You didn't want me in your life when I was there then when I was out you wanted me back, I can't be doing with your games like that.
Your just not real your just poison to my head.
You are just made up, your just a nightmare and I didn't know you really.
You are all in my head.
I have walked away from you or at least I dreamt I did, I never really knew you.
I believe if I think like I do one day I will completely get over you.
You thought could break me so did I not anymore.
You thought you could poison, it felt like it to me but no.
You thought you could scar me, I felt scared by you but not anymore.
You don't kill me because all you are is just words and talk, You never always did what you said anyway.
You act hard as if you can break the whole world but as your Mum used to say, you bark is bigger than your bite.
How sad it must be to think your hard, your not happy unless someone is your emotional victim, surely I'm not the only one whose been there with you.
If only those who don't know you knew like I do, the reason they don't is because you go around as if your Mr Nice Guy as if butter won't melt in your month, you seem very charming but underneath you are a mind player mainly when it comes to relationships, I pity whoever you are with now if you are with anyone.
You are just a bully whose not happy unless your upsetting someone emotionally.
What goes around comes around, like when you finished with me I had to accept it, it was hard but I got through, when I left your life total different story. 6.7.2016
May be I am not the best.
I never try to be better compared to anyone for anyone.
I don't except anyone to see me as the best.
In me is what you see is what you get but if you don't like that just walk away!
I'm not loaded with money, which is not important.
I am what I am and I don't try to be someone I am not.
I am no one but me, take me as I am or don't take me at all.
Like everyone I can be in the wrong and the right, I will admit that.
I am not perfect no one is and I am human like everyone.
If don't want me in your life, just say and I will walk away. 9.7.2016
What it must be like to be you.
You thought you could keep me as a victim of your love forever but you thought wrong and I walked away.
You throw me away twice and picked me back up, throw me away so I was taking no more of your childish mind games.
I will keep writing poetry until I get you out of my mind, if I can leave your life, I can get you out of my mind.
You may have left me a mess but you haven't, you don't have to pick up the piece I can do that myself like I have been doing so for the past nine years.
I am not letting you mess me around no more.
I bet your life has been nothing without me, why should I care because you cared nothing about me you only pretended to be.
I cared more about you than you did about me, I can't believe I did for so long, I wasted so much over you.
I have gone out of it for good because you were never grateful when I was there.
No one could never know what you were like.
It must be so sad to not be happy with whatever your life is like.
If I would have accepted you back a third time you would have messed me round again and again, I'm not putting up with that for the rest of my life 13 and a half years was more than enough to put with someone like you.
No one could ever know what's it's like to be, to not know what you want and not to be happy however your life is, that shows just how ungrateful and what a loser you really are. 9.7.2016
Love is truly blind.
I deeply loved you and trusted you but not anymore.
I believed you loved me long time ago but now I believed that was just a lie, I can't believe you led me on for 13 and a half years on and off.
I was so blind it took me all that time to realize.
For years after we slip you made it so hard for me to have trust in other but slowly I am building that trust back up again.
One way or the other, I will not let you anymore spoil my life 10.7.2016 - 11.7.2016
I deeply loved you and trusted you but not anymore.
I believed you loved me long time ago but now I believed that was just a lie, I can't believe you led me on for 13 and a half years on and off.
I was so blind it took me all that time to realize.
For years after we slip you made it so hard for me to have trust in other but slowly I am building that trust back up again.
One way or the other, I will not let you anymore spoil my life 10.7.2016 - 11.7.2016
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