Tuesday 5 July 2016

1996 to 2016 poetry part 8.


You never know. 

Everything is unknown for everyone.
You could be right as rain one day.
The future seems very bright.
You feel on top of the world.
You can cope with everything and everyone.
You feel fitter, quicker and brighter than ever.
Over night something bad has happened you, this has affected the rest of your life.
Now you feel worse than ever because you are so unaware of the world around you.
To be sure you don't know what is and is not coming to you.
Suddenly everything and anything is out of you.
It's all gone for life.
You are a changed person.
You've gone from an very unsuccessful person to a most unsuccessful person.
You will be very lucky to be that successful person again, if you are it could take a lot of hard work to get your life back together again.
Make the best of what and who you are in case you may not see tomorrow.
Please try harder to understand people who have not got as much going as you have or they may have to work harder for longer to get there!
The truth of the matter is that you will never understand unless it happens to you.
Everyone has to go through good and bad in life as I write, some worse or and better than others.
Birth, nursery, school, college, friendships, friendships gives some happiness but also stresses in life.
People with disabilities and health problems get stress out, ill or and even die easy due to on top of the problems we have already.
There's support for some things for us but not for others.
Without the same right as other people we will be alone in the world even though we have one another.
We understand that it's hard for other people, we just have to work harder to get there than other people or we don't get there at all. 9.10.2011

Trying too hard.

Too easy to fear the worst in life which doesn't turn out as bad as we think or not bad at all.
The worst isn't always as bad as it seems.
At times the excepted can which could be good when you thought it was bad.
The future is unknown so don't plan, life is mapped out for you.
It's not helpful to worry about something that seems likes everything but then it's nothing at all.
Everyone is to blame at some point for worrying about something we should have done.
To move forward.
To believe in yourself then you can believe in others around you.
Don't lose trust in others because many others have broke your trust.
Like and love yourself then you can like and love others.
Something small seems really big.
The hole needs to be sewed up before it gets too big.
The mole needs to stop growing before it becomes a molehill.
The hardest part is to think positive when you have been thinking negative too long.
We can only think positive if we want.
In many cases in life there's no such word as can't, the words are won't and want. 26.10.2011

Fear.

When I know I am going see you, I fear I'm going to blow because I have blown it with the people I used to love.
Every time with you I have surprised myself that I haven't done and said the wrong things when I have been and not drunk.
When I am not with you I fear the worst of myself but then I learn to trust myself, which helps me a lot to trust you.
I love you far too much not to trust you.
I wouldn't lose in you because others before you broke my trust. 26.10.2011

Tomorrow is another day.

Never think good or bad about tomorrow.
You don't know what tomorrow is going to be like until it comes.
Even if the bad is here the good will come another day or bad may turn into good.
Good may happen as soon as tomorrow just wait and see.
Good will happen to those who wait.
Nothing can be good all the time.
Nothing can be bad all the time.
Change happens whether we like it not but some things happen for the worst others happen for the better.
Nothing can stay the same but some things do stay the same.
Life would be boring if everything stayed the same yet if everything changed.
It's not good to stay sad all the time, too much pain can damage you.
It's not good stay happy all the time, too much happiness can spoil you too much.
Pain can make you strong.
Too much happiness can make you weak but a lot happiness can make you stable. 26.10.2011

Morning.

The day has just started.
The clouds are white.
The sky is grey.
I find hard to think good or bad thoughts, I just get on with my day.
Nevertheless I am ok until.
I come back from the Job Centre, I get a letter through my door from Income Support.
Saying I said I am working when I haven't said anything at all.
I am working hard not to let these Benefit people stress me out before I scream and shout.
The only you in my mind keeps me calm. 
I'm willing to stay stable and calm despite the fact the problem needs to be looked at soon as possible. 27.1o.2011


Everyone is looking at me.

The bar is crowded.
I try to find a condor.
I try to find a space to wait for the crowd to calm down.
Everyone is looking at me knowing that I fear crowds.
I walk out the pub, where I go next is unknown.
I come back there are less people standing by the bar as I get myself a drink.
Now I take forever to find a seat, in the mean time people are starling at me knowing that I am stressed.
They are looking at me strange, then I turn my head away.
In time I smile, they wonder what I am smiling at.
I am thinking that I don't need a reason to make me smile.
Who cares what they think?
So what I am smiling for no reason, mad they might think.
There's no point being sad only because they might be. 27.10.2011


Change.
You cannot avoid change.
One bus has gone but another bus is come.
When is an unknown question.
One love has gone but another love is soon.
When is an unknown question.
Some people or and things are meant be the same but not everything and everybody.
When is any time?
Today
Tomorrow
The next day
Next week
Next year
Who knows?
Whatever or whoever you are waiting for something or someone may be right for you.
There's at least some things and some people stay put but not all.
Some things you need to work to get what's right for you but some of us never find it or who.
Don't try hard because that will never do, you will never get anywhere.
Try hard hard enough because you never get anywhere if you don't try at all.
Don't hope too much, you will never get anywhere.
Take everyday as it comes, if that isn't good enough nothing ever will be.
Never think you can get all what you want. 27.10.2011


You.
Whatever worries me you ease my mind all the time, whether I see you or not.
Having you on my mind keeps me going when life is tough.
I can accept every in life when I have you on my mind.
I ride my exercise bike even though I am not getting anywhere.
I think about you all the time whether I am down in myself or not, then I start to feel good.
I do everything I can to keep myself strong. 27.10.2011

no more tears to cry.

No more tears to cry but sadness is still here.
It was all so long ago.
Nothing was ever done because it was understood or believed.
Pain is unknown whether I like it not.
Even now no one understands or believes me.
I find it hard to talk about even now.
I may not be crying on the outside but I am crying on the inside.
I am smiling on the outside but feeling pain on the inside.
I used to find it hard to sleep in fear of seeing one of you, a few of you or even more.
Now none of you bother me at all.
You have all been here far too long to stay.
My mind is just wondering away thoughts.
I find that I am believing in myself at last.
When I have been through this pain so long nothing is new to me.
The thoughts have been inside my head far too long.
The grass is always greener on the other side. 20.11.2011


Just get on with it!

How I get through everyday, I don't know.
There must walk around as if nothing has happened.
No one knows what one another are thinking.
I don't shut myself away from the world because life is for living that's what your born for.
I just get on with life, I have never known anything else.
More than 30 years on since the first one, they have still got away with it just because me been just a child and having learning disabilities.
No good talking about it whatever I say nothing gets done.
The present is here yesterday has gone let's live for today.
Tomorrow is unknown.
Time to move on.
The pain has gone on far too long to hurt me any more.
I was far too young to tell anyone.
Far too young to know what was going on.
Too young to understand.
Too young to be understood.
Even now over 40, my words just can't speak. 20.11.2011

Face truth.

Friendship is best or nothing at all.
If we love again we'll hurt one all over again.
I don't know about you but I am too old to take any more.
We must face the truth, we can't fall out if we aren't lovers.
Remember you broke my heart, I had to go along with what you wanted.
Now it's my turn to walk away but I am never coming back only as a friend.
If you can't take that you'll never see me again.

If only I knew that one day my pain would come back on you, what you caused me.
At the time I felt as if I had no future and my whole world was broken.
I never thought my life would be better without you. How wrong was I to think I could never live without you, I felt so alone?

Now it's far too late for you, I am not going to let you hurt me any more.
I am not spending the rest of my life wondering whether or not your in or out of my life.

In fact I don't think you loved me at all, I believe you still don't, you only love me because you know I don't love you any more.
If I still loved you wouldn't have loved me.
I know we have both been there before.
I had to leave for that mouth because the stress was getting far too much.
Before long I stopped loving bad news for you and good news for me.
I never thought I would have ever stopped loving because I loved you for so long. 

One day you will meet someone who you will love ten times more than you loved me.
She won't be able stand for what I stood for.
If you walk all over her she'd be out your life like a flash for good then you will really will know what pain is.

To think I was scared of losing you for good after you hurt me so bad.
Now I realise that I am better off without you or we are better off been just been friends.

I understand that this year has been taught for you with everything happening all at once but sadly everyone goes through death at some time, you aren't alone.
Moving on is hard I know, you need to make a life for yourself or end up a lonely old man.

You soon moved on when you left me and went out with someone else, didn't you?
I was the one who found it hard to move on but not any more.
I am having a happier life without you if not better. 21.11.2011

Believe your there somewhere.

I believe whoever you are, you are out there somewhere.
You may not be there yet.
I have had too many bad thoughts in my head to think any more bad thoughts.
Never chase never hope just life day by day.
To dream is to hope too much and end up disappointed. 
Let luck and love find us.
Just get on with life! 20.11.2011

What happened?

You were so sweet when I first met you, I thought butter wouldn't melt in your month.
Nothing and no one could take me away from you.
Then you weren't the man I thought you was.
You broke my heart when you left me for someone else.
My feelings carried on the same nothing stopped me from feeling love for you.
13 and a half years on and off I stuck out until I had enough.
Sorry I couldn't take more pain that you were giving me. 21.11.2011

I can do no more.
The truth hurts you so it should.
I can do no more.
You had your chance of my romance, which didn't took.
You said that there will be no one else in your life, it was never like that when I did love you so why be any different now?
I don't believe that anyone else will let you hurt them like I let you hurt me.
I must be the softest door mat of all but not any more.
Why did I take so much?
Because I loved you so.
Now I can't imagine how and why I loved you so.
All I ever wanted was someone who would love for what and who I am not what they can get out of me.
All you have from me now is friendship or nothing at all, your choice.
I have a happy life now that I'd be a mad fool to walk away from.
No way would I be as sad as you, walking away from happiness you could do without.
You will never spoil my happiness. 21.11.2011


I believe someone loves me, somehow, somewhere.
Someone loves me somehow, somewhere, even if it's not who I think it is.
In that case I don't know but I believe he's out there somewhere.
Despite been knocked over and picking myself up all the time I never give up with love, I believe your out there somewhere.
No matter what pain puts me through I don't give up on love.
I have stopped chasing hopes and dreams.
I am a fighter, I will go through whatever life throw at me.
We are put on this earth to enjoy life even though life is what you make it.
Not to waist time starling into space.
Life would be boring if it was all the same so life is full of happiness and pain in all areas.
Time is to use not to waste.
There's no right or wrong, go for what makes you happy and move on from what makes you sad.
Not all happiness works out. 21.11.2011

We are are never too old.
We are never too old, we are forever young.
Life is for living and drinking.
Take what comes never stop.
New will come along if nothing is right for you.
May be one day something or someone will be right for you.
Believe in yourself, then you can believe in others.
Enjoy life rather than waste life.
Life isn't happy all the time otherwise we'd be all spoiled and get away with what we want.
Never doubt yourself because something or someone has let you down.
There are plenty of people who won't let you down so you don't need the people who do.
Enjoy drink and fun.
Face the tomorrow day to look forward to tomorrow night.
If you ever get old, you can look back on a happy life, no matter how much it costs you.
There's always a way of balancing career with your fun. 21.11.2011

Feelings.
Feelings are hard to control when you love someone.
Falling in love is not easy to control but you don't have to fall in love to love.
When you fall in love it can be hard to let go if things go wrong.
Here I go again loving again, goodness knows how long it will last.
With knowing what I learned from the last love I believe this love will end.
As I said feelings are hard to control but one but never knows the future.
When many relationships have failed in the past, it's hard to think positive.
It's my feelings that make me never give up.
The future is any one's guess.
No hopes are built but I love him so much.
I miss him so much but he's a man, I guess he will love as long or short as he wants to.
I'll have to move on and start like I have always done, goodness know how many times I will fall in love before I die.
Who knows he may be the one for me and I may be the one for him?
The future is unknown.
All I know is that I love him and miss him so much. 21.11.2011

It all seems like a long goodbye.
It all seems like a long goodbye, seeing you tomorrow is unknown.
Goodbye for another day, mouth, week, year or whenever it is as long as your still mine I will never give up on you.
May be I will see you tomorrow but I can't take the pain of saying goodbye not knowing when I will see you again.
I will call you.
I will text you.
I will wait until I see you again.
I don't want to spoil what we have got, a little bit more time together wouldn't go a miss but I understand if not.
Still I will go along with however it is because I love you so much. 21.11.2011

Everyone is alone but not alone.
Today the world seems far too dull.
Money is tighter than ever.
No one is alone we are all in these hard times together.
We are alone when it comes to choosing our lives, now money doesn't give us a lot of choice.
Jobs and courses are very hard to find.
It's hard to think positive about the future when negative is around us in the present.
One can only go by what it's seems like.
It's more likely very little brightness at the end of the tunnel one can see.
We must make the best of what we have got even if it's not a lot.
Anything is better than nothing at all.
If you have nothing at all then there's war, the government shouldn't let it go too far.24.11.2011


Putting on a brave face.
We have to get on with life to live it.
We have to cope with what life throws at us.
All we can do is smile to fight the pain.
Life is what you make but not when you don't have choices.
We need to keep ourselves and one another the best we can.
Help one another just as we did when times were hard all so long ago.
Let's believe we are strong: we can work it out. 24.11.2010

Love.

Love can bring us happiness.
Love can bring us pain.
Never hope when it comes to love.
Love can last for a long but the longer it lasts it can break your heart.
Pain can hit you in the face when you don't know it's going to happen.
No matter how hard it is, we must get up again not every love is the same as the last.
It all goes on like a roller coaster, one never knows unless they try.
It doesn't happen for everyone but there are some people who have thousand fail relationships then one day the right person comes along for them.
Either your lucky or your not, if you give up on yourself you will be completely alone.
It's best to try not to think about get on with life day by day, which isn't easy when you really love someone. 24.11.2011

Another world.
It's hard to know whether life is real or not.
It's hard to know if happiness is real or not.
We may not like the truth but real is truth no one likes pretend and lies in real life. 

Sometimes it's hard to know what the truth is depending what it's about.

What we are told, we don't always like.
What we don't like may be better for us.
What do like may be bad for us.
Don't cry the world isn't always black and white.
Not not everything we enjoy is bad for us.
We don't have to feel guilty about everything we do, say, eat, drink and etc.
There are some things we like what are good for us.
It's very rarely enjoyment becomes good for us.
On the whole anything that's bad for us we tends to enjoy, then regret is sooner if not later.
we can't come quick enough enjoy the good and the fun.
We are happy to avoid the things we don't like that are bad for us.
For a lot of us we tend to go with what's bad for us because we enjoy it.
Still we only live once.
If we can't have fun, why are we born? 24.11.2011


Too hard to say goodbye.
It's too hard to say goodbye once I have seen you.
I know it could or and seem like a long time until I see you again.
No matter how much I miss you, I will never give up on you.
No matter what life is like I will never stop loving you.
Nothing and no one will know and spoil what and who goes through my mind.
No matter how much or little I see of you I love no one else.
No matter how hard it is to say goodbye, my patients don't run out for you. 17.12.2011

I'm alone not alone.

Loneliness is my friend who doesn't reply back when been spoken to.
Loneliness is my home.
If I want a reply to what I say I'm out and about.
Night time is the time when I'm out even if people don't speak to me.
Life carries on without you even though I love you so much.
When I'm out I don't if and when I see you again but seeing little of you suits me fine.
My bed is calling and waiting for me at the end of the night or the morning light.
Loneliness is waiting for me yet again therefore no one knows my private thoughts about me and you other than me and you.
When I can't sleep I think about you.
When I sleep I have deep dreams about you.
If I sleep at all woken by heavy traffic and very strong winds, how very strange?
I'm not a lone to be alone. 18.9.2011


Sorry I can't sleep.
I keep counting sheep every time I try to sleep.
May be I have lost count of the sheep.
They keep me awake by saying.
Baa baa!

It seems like a thousand years since I saw you to love you or sorry was it only today or yesterday?

We may have to wait to see one another forever, it may be today, tomorrow, whenever or never.
Never mind look forward to seeing you next time whenever that is.
I may not be a very good sleeper but mornings are now too cold to get out of bed.
It's too warm in bed.18.9.2011

Never ending!

It's not always possible to love the same person forever.
The good is not spending a lot of time together.
The bad is too many heart breaks.
Love seems to be an never ending circle from one lover to other.
Happiness last as long or as short as it's meant to be.
Loving one person for for life these days is very rare.
I don't think forever love will happen to me, which one way is a good thing but another way is a bad thing.
I've cried so many times over broken love, I guess I have many tears to come.
I've been happy so many times in love I guess more love to come that more than likely won't last.
Love starts and ends.
It's hard to know whether to believe in hope or not.
I guess commitment isn't always cut out to be these days. 18.9.2011

The sun isn't bright enough without you.
It's been a long time since I saw the sky the night before the sun.
The air is too cold for the birds to fly.
The sun isn't warm or bright enough without you.

I think about you non stop.
I can never seem to give up on your love.
Nothing seems to stop me feeling the way I do about you.
At times I'm in my own world.
Your on my mind so much I can't sleep.
When I'm a sleep it's hard to wake up, my dreams are so deep about you.

Sometimes I wish I could a bird so I could fly to you.
Every day is unknown whether it's a good or bad day.
I wish I climb trees to make and collect leaves to build a nest to rest at my very best.
I'm the bird of the sea, come fly with me.
As we hit the tide coming and out with the waves under our feet, that is the love of you. 18.9.2011

Change of seasons.

There's no longer a long winter.
There's no longer a long summer.
The weather has a mind of it own at any time all year round.

Paint a picture of an ideal world.
The sky.
The sun.
The sea.
The sand.
The trees.
The gardens.
So the list goes on.

No winter is winter in winter time, it's winter when it wants to be.
The snowman for children is now a fairly tale dream. 18.9.2011


Miss you.

Doesn't matter where I am at what time your always on my mind.
I'm listening out for my phone counting minutes days and hours when I could see you again.
When I walk around the round town hoping to see you without been planned it very rarely happens.
Sometimes I eat too much other times I eat too little.
Some nights I have very little sleep because I can't stop thinking about you.
Some nights I sleep too much, I can't stop dreaming about you.
I miss you so much.
Everyday my feelings get stronger and stronger for you but I can face you in a calm way.
You know how I feel about you, don't you?
I don't have to say three words.
I understand that it's not just my feelings that count it's yours too. 15.1.2011




Time.

Time seems like forever with and without you.
When I'm without you it seems as if I'm never you going to see you again but I know I will.
I never knew what love was until I met you.
I thought love was seeing your lover every night and day.
Now I realise how much I do love someone, baby he is you.
Time is painful without you but happiness is when I see you in private.
Time makes me want you more.
When I see you I want you even more.
My world is dark without you.
Nothing and no one is going to take away how I feel about you.
We open our minds when we both want to.
Your always inside my private mind, only time will tell.
I will never give up you unless you give up on me my love no matter what happens.
I listen out for my phone.
When I stay in odd nights I listen out for my door.15.1.2011



Strange.

The world dull no one knows on one.
People are there but no one is there.
No one believes anyone.
No one trusts one another because no one knows no one.
No one knows what say to to anyone.
Everyone is scared of one another because it's hard to trust one another.
Not enough love for one another anymore.
The world was once a world everyone knew everyone now no one knows no one.
No one knows what to say so no one says nothing but we are so scared of one another.
The world is quiet but noise with shouting and crime.
The world feels strange yet it shouldn't feel strange feeling strange these days.
The way the world is going these days it will get strangers all the time.
Not enough punishment.
Not enough respect.
Not enough manners.
There was a time that the bad was very few and far between.
There was never a perfect was and will be a perfect but not as bad a this.
It makes it hard to believe that it will get better but never put a guest on anything the world isn't all black and white.19.2.2011

Autism world is strange.

Autism is a feeling the world over crowding you.
When your feeling as if your in prison but your not.
When your free your not free.
The world and it's people seem bigger, smaller and better than you.
Everyone seems to have better chances, choices and control better than you.
Everyone has an education, job, family, lover, child, home, social life but not you.
Even if and when you have those things you always feel useless as if your spoiling someone Else's life because you need their support.
The world blind to see what depending on the rest of the world feels like.
The world is telling us what to do because we support, as adults we still feel like children.
As an adult you feel more useless when people are saying what you can and can't do.
Ok Autism affects our lives but with right support we will get through.
The world is lonely even when it's full, we must keep travelling in hopes loneliness and an over crowded world is no more.
We can only hope but life goes on.
We mustn't thing bad of life all the time.
Even when out seeing millions of people it's still a lonely world in a lonely room.
When people are there they may as well not be but even more lovely without them whether they are strange or not.
They are living in different world to Autism world.
We never stop believing in ourselves, despite the world over crowding and closing us in. 19.2.2011




Disability, Bullying and Hate Crime.
We are seen but not heard.
It's hard to believe if you don't see.
It's hard to know what's happened when your not there.
People with learn ing dis a Billi ties find it hard to make our selves under stood.
We can't help the way we are. 


Most things are hard to talk about it can be hard to get things off our minds.
It can be hard to get Hate Crime off our minds.
People who do Hate Crime should get a life time.
Most people who bully as children do Hate Crime as adults.
Most people today get away with bullying and Hate Crime because the law lets them.
There used to be a time that children were taught to learn right from wrong.
People who bully and do Hate Crime get away with it forever or for a long time.

Just because people don't see us get hurt it doesn't mean we don't.

You see some of us can't stand up for ourselves.
Not many of us who can stand up for our selves.
Those of us who do manage to stand up for our selves get mis under stood for the bullies.
The world thinks we are bullies instead of victims.
People who bully and or do hate crime don't always get found out.
20.1.2011


You left me in darkness.

You left me in darkness.
You left me alone.
Every leaf blew off the tree after you had gone.
I blew you away without meaning to I thought but we should have stayed away from one another.
The heartache I had before you I took out on you.
I shouldn't have worried about other people's heartaches then it wouldn't have gone on to us.
I only should have thought about you and me.
I drove you away then you came back to me.
I tried my best to keep us together again.
I suddenly realized I was with a guy who didn't know who and what he wanted in his life.
Walking away wasn't an easy thing to do when I loved you so much.
I knew I had to make that move because you were breaking my heart.
I knew you were playing games with my mind.
What did I do wrong last time?
It was good thinking anything was going to change because you would keep changing your mind forever.
You didn't love me or hate me, you just wanted to mess up my mind.
It was no use carrying on because we were just hurting one another.
I still care about you but everything I touch I seem to break. 19.2.2011

It doesn't seem what it's feels.

It's seems like darkness with no brightness.
It's seems as if love isn't going to happen.
Yet I feel so much love towards you.
I'm missing you so much.
Giving up on you seems and feels very hard for me to do.
Days and nights without you seem as if I'm never going to see you again.
It's a lonely world without you but nothing and no one can take away how I feel about you.
Every day and night my feelings are too strong to let go. 20.2.2011

When I see you.

When see you, you brighten up my world.
You make my day and night.
When I'm not seeing you the world is strange, dark and dull.
I never give up, I can take the pain of not seeing you as long as it takes because I love you for you. 20.11.2011


It's not easy.

I try not to feel too close to you but that not easy to do.
At the same time I understand your world isn't all round me.
I understand that you may not love forever, it's to believe a lovely guy like you ever will.
It's me whose in the wrong, my feelings towards you are hard to control.
The fact I see you less I want you more.
I want you to have what you want in life but my love is too strong.
Nothing lasts forever but how long I feel this way towards you I don't know.
I keep preparing myself for you to break my heart, I should know what to expect because it's happened to me so many times before.
No matter how many times I try it's like I never learn.
I have so much trust in you but the future is unknown.
Like I have said before I'm not building my hopes up but never say never.
This is where I keep trying to prepare myself for whatever happens. 20.2.2011

Love puts a trap inside you.

It can be hard to stop love putting a trap inside you.
Once you have those feelings for someone love comes and goes when it wants to.
There are times you need to let go but it's not easy to do so.
Sometimes love won't let go of you no matter what's going on around you.
It's like a drug bit ting inside you.
Your love may not feel the same for the person you love anymore but your feelings of love Carry's on as long as it wants to.
When your feelings of love is left behind it keeps bit ting back at you.
Hurts so bad it cuts you like a knife.
For love to go it takes as long as it takes.20.2.2011

Feelings.

What do I wrong?
I easy full in love.
I'm not perfect.
I try my best.
The wrong thing I do is love you too much yet there shouldn't be anything wrong.
Yet loving you seems the right thing to do because loving you is where my feelings lye.
No matter how hard to I try to not get close to you, my love is far too strong not to.
I should be able to understand your feelings too.
I can't except you to love me forever.
I should know because no one has loved me forever yet. 20.2.2011


Lovers friends.

We are friends but I love you more.
I feel myself getting more closer to you.
Even though I don't see a lot of you my feelings are growing more and more towards you.
It's really hard because I can't expect to feel the same way not forever anyway.
No one knows how long my feelings towards you will last.
We are lovers who don't have a great deal of a chance to discover one another.
How long I feel the way I do I can't say.
Like I say my feelings are growing everyday.
Life is a long or a short journey so is love.
I can't say how long it will take to begin or end.

Change.

I never used to know what you wanted.
I never used to know what mood you were in one minute to the next.
You could change your mind more times than you change your socks.
One minute you loved me next minute you didn't but I did always loved you.
Now I can't seem to love you anymore, may be that's a good thing as you hurt too many times in 13 and a half years or more.
The way you changed your mind drove me up the wall yet I loved you so much I could take anymore.
The more I loved you the more you hurt me, you just made me more and unhappy in the end but lovely in the beginning.
Now that I have moved on it's now your lost world.
You should have made the most of me while I was there.
If you love me now it's far too late. 20.2.2011

Missing you.
Days and nights are dark without you.
I miss you even more when the rain falls as my tears cry without you.
The skies seem dull and grey without you.
Slowly you and the warm sun is coming my way.
It's seems like a never ending journey without you.
It seems as if I'm never going to be with you.
Yet my feelings are growing more and more towards you.
I know your not very far away but you seem a million miles away. 20.2.2011
Will it end?

Will it end my friend?
Our companionship.
Our love.
Talking about the good and bad parts of life.
Listening and understanding one another.
A friendship that grows into love may grow out.
There's plenty of happiness and smiles when I'm with you.
Plenty of sadness tears when I'm without you but my love is too strong to give up. 20.2.2011

You found me.

I saw you.
You saw me but we didn't know one another.
My world was dull after losing my last love at least I thought it was.
You and me took a while to speak then we spoke.
We seemed to get along as good friends, little I thought there would be a bit more.
I thought you would have been married with kids but I was still unsure of my thoughts.
I didn't want to upset a happy home.
When you first paid interest me, it was very sudden I didn't how to respond.
Now my feelings towards you are growing so strong I don't want to lose you.
I love you far too much despite your hard situation.
Your a lovely looking guy who can choose any girl you want.
I can understand why any girl would love you.
My fear is that my heart could break.
I really should stay away but my love for you is now far strong to let go. 20.2.2011


Fed up of guys.

Fed up of guys going after me, I'm not that special am I? 
They are never there when I'm alone only when I am with someone.
Yet I am mostly alone these days they are here when I don't want them near.
There's only one person I love and he is you.
The only thing about lonely love is you can't get rid of the guys you don't love. 20.2.2011


What's on your mind?


You are more than welcome to what you want to say or write. 
It makes no difference if what's on your mind is happy or say. 
Just bring out anything you want to say or write. 

Everyone likes to keep most things private no one is force to say or write. 

The choice is yours on how you open your world and mind on what you say or write. 

How people communicate with you is depending on what subject you say or write. 

Some people don't communicate at all. 

Please speak and write your mind. 

Don't speak or write your mind if you don't want to. 24.7.2011 

Mark David Chapman. 

What was on your Mind to commit such a crime to the famous Beatles, old, too young to leave earth he gave his fans such good times? 

You may not be able to mend what's been broken? 

Saying sorry may not mend the damage. 

You have already long sent John Lennon up to heaven. 

Do you believe in Jesus Christ? 

Do you believe that Christ will come back to life? 

Do you believe John Lennon was or could have been Jesus Christ just like he wanted to be? 

The answers to these questions are very unknown. 

Do you believe that there will be peace on earth as well as there may be in heaven? 

I was eleven when my old school teacher Mr Stroll told me and many others in class that John Lennon has gone to heaven, I still hear Mr Stroll telling us 31 years on now. 

Do you believe that Christ will come back to life, even so you shouldn't have done what you have done?13.8.2011 



Nothing lasts forever. 
Nothing lasts forever but I have fallen for you. 

You may not be always in my life but you will be always on my mind. 

It isn't all about my feelings, it's about your feelings too. 

The same way love always end, you may well leave me some day. 

I will never give up on love. 

No one knows unless they try, never build ones hopes up but never say never. 

One's luck may not be the same as it has already been. 

Life is very unknown, if we knew everything there would be no surprises or shocks. 13.8.2011

We should all control our minds. 

We should all control our minds then there wouldn't be so much crime. 

No reason is a reason to kill. 

There's no perfect world out there, we all disagree with what one another do and say sometimes if not all of the time. 

We say about children and teenagers been unkind to one another so can adults. 

If we really can't cope with what we hear or see or even both in many cases can be, then just walk away. 

Help is better out there than it used to be, now there's counselling out there, there never used to be any help at all but we still have a long way to go. 

Just because Yoko Ono is Japanese, Mark David Chapman killed John Lennon many years to the day of Pearl Habela which the Japanese turned against the Americans on the 8th December. 

No one can like everyone but hate is a very strong word. 
14th August 2011 

The world is a strange place. 
The world is a strange like you and me, it has good and bad. 

How we face the world isn't the same. 

Life is what we make it. 

We are the people who live in this world. 

The world isn't the problem it's us in it. 

The main thing is is how we are to one another. 

There are a lot of thought we need to keep to ourselves. 

At times it all gets too much. 

No one is going to help us unless we help ourselves. 

We need to find ways of not letting the bad in life play with our minds. 

We must think about good things in life. 

Clear the bad things out of our minds. 

The good may be hard to think about. 

For me writing poetry helps me get on with my life by writing all my thoughts down on paper out my mind. 

Drawing, painting and exercise biking riding is also very good cure for me. 

Anxiety isn't the only reason for doing these things, enjoyment comes into it too. 
14th August 2011 

Every day. 

I miss you every day. 

My world is empty without you. 

Nothing seems to change but I accept it because I think so much of you. 

I don't think I will ever give on you unless you give up me. 

When the sun shines it doesn't shine unless I'm with you. 

There's not a moment that I'm not wishing I was with you. 

Holding me all night until the morning light. 

The good may be hard to think about with the very little time we spend together. 

Hopefully that little time we get together will help us to be together longer than if we spent a lot of time together. 

I will just do my best to clear the bad out of my mind by writing poetry. 

I never know when to text or call in case I contact you at the wrong moment. 

However long or short our time together is better than nothing at all. 18.8.2011 

Wem please sounds like Wembley. 
I have never written a poem, short story, novel or play on the train. 

I was travelling from New-town Powys Wales in the mid to late 80s. 

My memory has been that many a times through my life I caught the wrong well almost the wrong train. 

Once I nearly went to Wembley when I should have gone to Wem. 

The ticket collector said 

" Off to Wembley." 

"No, I'm off to Wem." 

He laughed but I was only 17 and scared. 

I was just in a world of my own still relieving on the rest of the world. 

"No worries, you can get off at Sherwbucy." he said 

" Who ordered the ticket?" he asked 

" My tutor." I said 

I tried to work out what must have happened, I thought about it. 

A lot of people on the train stared at me as if I was mad as I started to laugh. 

Wem please sounds like Wembley. 

When got off the train to meet my Mother Shrewbucy, she said. 

" I've been waiting half an hour for you at Wem station. 

When I told her the reason her feelings were mixed with worrying about me and the funny side of Wem been mistaken for Wembley. 18.8.2011 


Your worth the wait. 

I feel love for you. 

I need your love even more than plants, flowers and trees need the sun and the rain. 

This love will never die until I die however long I wait. 

If I'm wrong I can be right all the time. 

I'd rather miss you than lose you but I can't except your feelings to be the same as mine all the time. 

You may leave me some day, then I will have to move on from the light to the day. 

If things change for you and me, if ever there's going be another he, he will have to spent more time missing me than kissing me. 18.8.2011 


I will never again chase love. 

Love will have to come to me if ever again it's to be. 

I never looked for you, you found me. 

If it doesn't work out for us the next love will be very close friends you and me are or where. 

Who knows what the future will be. 

Take life day by day. 

Don't build one's hopes up: never say never. 

Wait and see. 18.8.2011 



Open your mind.

If you feel as if something should be said then say it. 

Don't be scared, don't be shy just open your mind. 

Some people feels as if they don't want to talk about sad thing but they feel as they need to. 

Please give their own time when things are to talk that they want or and need to said mainly when it's sad things. 


Some things are hard to talk about but better off not talking about in a lot of people's minds. 19.8.2011 



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