Sara's poetry page 10

 I am human everyone. 

there's still time for me but I have also learned not to build my hopes up you see.

 

When I was twenty - eight I thought my life was over I thought it was too late, even though I was in love with a man who wasn't right for me.
I may go through pain in my life like everyone else but I pick myself up and move on. 

Now I love the man who is for me.

Time.

 

I believe I have now met the man who for me
Who knows what the future will be.
When I was a young woman of thirty I thought I'd live a normal life to be.
I thought by the age of thirty I'd be rearing young of my own but now I have seen the world today it's not a safe world for children to be.

Being disabled is stopping rearing children like everyone else I just needed the support that was all.

Not everyone is lucky to have their dream home and lover to be which has taught me not to live in fairy-tale land to be.
I must say I have met the love of my who will bond with me to love forever endlessly.

Now I am fifty nearly fifty -one, the years will be rolling fast.

 

I have walked out on one man who was not meant to last with me but now I have learned to see what happens when tomorrow's door opens.

Who knows where I will be after fifty, will there be the man for me? 

  

It is okay to not be okay. 

 

When I say it is okay to be okay that does not mean no one should care.

That does not mean people should judge.

That does not mean you should feel you cannot talk to anyone or have to talk to anyone.

That does not mean you have to be alone in the world.

That does not mean it is all in your mind because there are others who are feeling if not the same but similar to.

Yes, your right no one has a clue what you are going, no has a clue what anyone is going through only them to say but we can all learn to understand one another about one another.

It is also understandable that we do not want to or and can tell everyone how we are feeling.

No one is forced to tell anyone anything, but it may help if you tell someone for example a friend, family, parent, counselor or and etc.

Please do not be alone, your life is as important the same as everyones.

What’s life all about?

 

My bright and dark future will be upon me, which I am and not looking forward to.

To love I am looking forward but for getting old I am not but hopefully, I will get wiser.
Loneliness, no loneliness and old age will give me so much to dread and none at all.
While I'm still young enough I will enjoy the life I have yet.
Old age will not make a fool out of me if that was so what a happy and sad the character I would be.
I don't expect people to feel sorry for me, old or young I must enjoy life while I am here.

I want my peaceful body crumbled away with happiness and grace but no pain.
Now and again I will look down from heaven to earth to see the people I leave behind who I remember well.
You must accept the fact that we can't live forever.
So open your eyes god open and see, under that a disabled person is an able human being and she is a real character in me.
I will still write short stories, novel, play, and romantic poetry. 

We may need to face the facts.

The Coronavirus could be here to say with, but we need to protect ourselves and each other.

The lockdown seems like forever but that does not mean life stops, we just need to health and safety guard.

Keep going with online working and courses.

I just need to keep writing whatever happens.

I have not written much for years but now I need to keep writing every day even when I am able to go back to work again.

I know I am not alone in this Coronavirus lockdown, but neither are you.

That does not mean I am not aware of how serious this Virus is, we did not need this.

 

Charlies Bukowski, you were not alone.

I know what it feels like to feel as if your life is going off the rails.

All I did was smoke, drink and write poetry, which took me alone time to cut down or even stop.

I think I only discovered your work a few years after your death the same time I was inspired by Shelly, Keats, and co as well, which was when I had my Mental breakdown in 1997.

I am yet to discover more of your work and your life, good and bad like all our lives have been.

You inspired me when I was down in myself and you inspire me even now, I have long overcome my breakdown.

Now I have closed the door on you.

I used to think I was too selfish in my own feelings because I was so in love with you but then I realized you never felt the same, you only pretended to.

In the end, I wondered why I ever bothered with you at all, even to write about you.

I was so blind to love you and to love you as long as I did, now I feel nothing for you at all.

This shows how ungrateful you were that I loved you so long.

Now it is too late I do not feel the same as I did for you so that is good, and it means you cannot hurt me no more.

I now love someone ten times more than the man you were and probably still are.

When you read my poetry.

When you read my poetry, you went mad at me because you know it was the truth about you.

You could not stand to know how I felt about you because you did not feel the same.

I don’t think I saw it at the time and if I did I couldn’t accept you never felt the same but I do more than accept it now, I don’t love you anymore either.

Sometimes I wish I never said a word not that it made any difference but now who cares? I do not now anymore.

 

Yet you said that my words could be songs.

How different you reacted when you say one of my published poems about you but just remember not all my work is about you, a lot is, and a lot is not.

I wish I never had bothered but then I don’t just because I don’t feel the same now doesn’t mean I’m putting my work about you to waste, I just write it the opposite way I did to start with.

The unknown must have scared you know that one day I would change from been soft as a brush to how I am now, I used to let you walk over me but no more.

You cannot play with my mind anymore now I have walked away from you.

You found me

 

For once love has followed me, I have not followed love for once.

You put the wings upon my feet.

Where have you been all my life?

Have you been hiding from me?

I know you believe in me, none the loves who thought that were loves did believe me.

   

The voice of love

Love speaks for itself, we never expected to feel this way about one another.

I can hear your voice.

I see your great smile.

You crack such great jokes with your An amazing sense of humor.

We are serious about one another.

There is no romance and no kissing, but it is to come.

We are in the voice of video chat; we will be meeting when the time is right.

 

He never knew his own mind.

 

I walked away from him because he never knew his own mind.

He used to say loved me then say he did not.

 He used to keep going hot and cold.

I put up with him for too long.

Really, I think he hated me, which used to bother but does not now.

He was playing dangerous games with my mind.

Your always in my mind and thoughts.

 

Your always in my mind all the time, and thoughts my sweet, even though I speak to you on video chat every day.

You are my shining sun even when the weather is bad.

I only need to see your face and my life shines through good times and bad.

Voices, words, and thoughts of poets.

The hills

 the valleys

 beaches

The weather

 Romance

Lots more but all explained in a few words.

 

 

I never saw the light.

No one seemed to agree with my thoughts and as years went on, I saw the light that I was wrong and they were right.
For twelve months my head was just in the sand back between my hands from 1996 to 1997.
All I saw was a dark tunnel each hour, minute, second of every day.
No light never seemed to come my way.
Loneliness was just a cloud as couples walked passed, therefore I thought this wouldn't happen to me again.

 

That's how I thought my life was going to be.
Found for me to make one hard choice to love or loneliness but then I found it hard to get too close again.

I lost all trust in everyone but felt so bad for feeling this way.
I spent a lot of time worrying that I would meet the wrong person and get myself hurt again.
As right or wrong people may be, it's best to let people in these states of mind are themselves, in their own time some may see the light.
If you ask me what I think I will tell you but I will never tell you what and what not to do.
I will be there for you and I will never judge you, I know what this feels like, I have been there myself.

How can I love without been blind I used to ask myself?
I went through this fear for such a long time.
I had no trust in anyone at all yet I felt so bad about.
Therefore I left people to carry on talking and telling their thoughts, which I was blind to.
I used to think I may as well live my life in sin because I feared getting hurt again.
Now I wouldn't say I'm one hundred percent me again but I'm ten times better than I was then.
Oh yes back then I wouldn't think I would be where I am today, which is why I would never say to anyone you will get there, I listen, understand, and let them make their own choices.

  

Story draft to prose.

Over the years Julie Robinson has closed the door on Mark Hunt even more.
 When Julie was younger she thought she was the selfish one, which wasn't true, instead.
 Thinking the way she felt for him, she found it hard to think about how he might have felt about her. However' he never felt anything for her, he only pretended to.
She wondered why she bothered to write him a line let alone two or more.
Julie said she was blind about his love for so many years when it turned out he didn't love her at all.
This showed she thought how ungrateful he was about her love and how selfish he was and now he's too late as she loves someone ten times the man he was.
When he read her poetry, he went mad all those years ago because he hated her writing about him.
Mark couldn't stand to know how she felt for him or that she may have done for anyone else but she never loved anyone other than Mark when she was with him.
How ungrateful he was she thought.