Sara's Poetry page 3

 

Take me as I am or not at all.

 

Nothing is straight forward in this life.

No one is perfect.

The world would be boring if we did things right all the time.

Life is full of ups and downs good and bad.

For what I have been through a lot of people have stayed strong.

When a lot of things on my mind I do not feel strong at all.

Things seem worse to probably what they really are.

I mainly say things that I fear to regret later on.

Most of it may be Anxiety.

Despite my faults, I am honest to admit what I say.

The autism world is strange.

Autism is a feeling the world overcrowding you.
When you’re feeling as if you’re in prison but you’re not.
When you're free you’re not free.
The world and its people seem bigger, smaller and better than you.
Everyone seems to have better chances, choices and control better than you.
Everyone has an education, job, family, lover, child, home, social life but not you.
Even if and when you have those things you always feel useless as if you're spoiling someone Else's life because you need their support.
The world blind to see what depending on the rest of the world feels like.
The world is telling us what to do because we support, as adults we still feel like children.
As an adult, you feel more useless when people are

saying what you can and can't do.
Ok Autism affects our lives but with right the support we will get through.
The world is lonely even when it's full, we must keep traveling in hopes of loneliness and an overcrowded world is no more.
We can only hope but life goes on.
We mustn't think bad of life all the time.
Even when out seeing millions of people it's still a lonely world in a lonely room.
When people are there they may as well not be but even more lovely without them whether they are strange or not.
They are living in a different world to Autism world.
We never stop believing in ourselves, despite the world overcrowding and closing us in.

World blind.

You say black.
I say white.
No one is wrong or right.
There's just a misunderstanding of one an other's minds.
That misunderstanding can cause sadness that can take away ones' choice.
Ones' choice of been left out of the rest of the world.
You can do what you want safely without answering to anyone.
You don't feel useless.
You don't feel like hard work to other people.
Despite the world being blind to me, I'm learning something new every day.

Maybe I need more help to learn but I'm not blind in everything.

I still learn the same but different from you.

  

Misunderstanding.

Hello, are you there?
Am I speaking to a person?
Can you speak?
No reply, why?
This is never a human?
I can take a while to speak, it may take a while for me take in what you have just said.
Ok, you think I am rather strange.
You must be strange not to give me time to speak.

What are we on about, we have known one another all our lives?
We still can't communicate.
I know I'm your family member, we known one another since we were born.
We still don't know or understand one another. 

 

You have walked on me.

I am the path.
I am the sand.
I am the sea.
You walk on me or swim inside me.
I am your water to cool you down.
I'm in the middle, you are all around me.
Lying on me.

Standing on me.
You all make the world a bigger place than it seems to be.
You are all overcrowding me.
I can't breathe.
It's like I can't join or fit in.
You will make fun of me because I can't join in with you all.

 

I will be on my own.

I will be on my own.
My company isn't good enough for you.
I am hard work for you.
I need more help than other people.
When no one is where you're wondering why I'm alone.
When people are there you wondering why they bother with me in case I am hard work for them.
With the limits of what I can do in my life, it's as if I shouldn't have been born.
As if I shouldn't be on this earth.
As if life isn't worth living.
That's where your wrong when I have my creative talents.
What am I doing now?
I am putting my feelings in poetry and words. 

Someone, something behind me.

Someone, something behind me.
Your moving faster than me.
I'm trying to move as fast as I can to your speed.
Something, someone that seems nasty getting closer and closer to me.
Ok, sorry I am taking up your space.
I have no warnings or reasons why.
Here I am made to feel guilty of putting traps on your lives. 

I'm just me.

I'm not a clever person.
Words just come into my mind.
I just write about what I think about it.
I'm just me, there's only one of me.
Like you are you, they're only just one of you.
I'm a human being with a career and a life.
I'm nothing and no one special.
I cope alone but I also have the world watching over me.

Lack of
Communication

Hard to speak ones' mind.
Society controls the mind.
Your month speaks quicker than your mind.
Your pen writes quicker than your mind.
Been unheard and misunderstood is wrong.
You haven't achieved what you were hoping to.
What you said wasn't understood.
Everyone makes fun of what you said and how it appears to them.
You know what if the government doesn't wake up to life, we will be all be mentally ill, we'll be all going out of our minds. ou mean they don't.

If the government doesn't wake up to life, we will be all be mentally ill, we'll be all going out of our minds. 

 

Zombie

I'm like a Zombie.
I'm in a dream.
I'm in a world of my own.
I can see a world of people overcrowding me.
I feel like a puppet on a string.
Everyone seems to be having a good time.
No worries, I will find my way of having a good time on my own.
I'm just in a dream world.
Where are the people I know?
Left, right or straight on, which way shall I turn?
There are far too many people I don't know.
Too much noise, too many people talking at once.
The world is buzzing around but you’re in the middle of crowded people as it is in a crowded place.

Mirror mind.
Mirror writing.
When I look in the mirror I see the world, words and letters upside down.
Times are hard money-wise.
Most Dyslexia people if not all see everything upside down like the painter who painted Mona Lisa.

No jobs and no money.
Broad out of ones' mind.
Nothing to keep the mind busy.
That's why there are so much anger and crime.
Walking around town window shopping.
We can look but we can't touch.
Looking through shop windows is like looking at ourselves through mirrors.

Look at me!

Look at me!
What do you see?
Mirror writing, painting, drawing, short stories and poetry.
The future is hard to see.
We are looking through the darkness all the time.
We can only think how thing will be if they carry on like this.
No money in the world.
Where's the next generation going to be?
It's bad enough now.

  

Autism, Anxiety, and Change.

You cannot avoid change but for people with Autism and Anxiety feel fear when the change and the unexcepted happens when being taken out of one’s route and comfort zoom.
One bus has gone but another bus comes.
When is an unknown question?
One love has gone but another love is soon.
When is an unknown question?
Some people or and things are meant to be the same but not everything and everybody.
When is any time?
Today
Tomorrow
The next day
Next week
Next year
Who knows?
Whatever or whoever you are waiting for something 

or someone may be right for you.
There are at least some things and some people stay put but not all.
Some things you need to work to get what's right for you but some of us never find it or who.
Don't try hard because that will never do, you will never get anywhere.
Try hard enough because you never get anywhere if you don't try at all.
Don't hope too much, you will never get anywhere.
Take every day as it comes, if that isn't good enough nothing ever will be.
Never think you can get all that you want.

 

Dyspraxia.

Difficulty in doing up buttons.

Difficulty in doing up laces.

Difficulty in opening up bottles, jars, etc.

Dyspraxia is a hidden physical learning difficulty.

It is hard to do things fully like cleaning one’s teeth, household skills etc.

Food is messy and gets everywhere.

Sport is hard because you can never get the ball in time to everyone else, which includes catching as well.