The character.
What do you see god when you look at me?
Why did you make me?
Would you agree there's a character in me?
Why did you bring this disabled world to me?
Thank you god for making me.
Am I the human being you wanted me to be?
What are you seeing and thinking when you look down from heaven to earth at me?
You see a human being who is not very wise.
How can you see me god with those far away eyes?
As a human being I am sitting here still.
I'm human baby, child and teenager inside an adult who used to dribble her food and make no reply.
You look down from heaven to earth in a loud voice saying I wish she'd try.
Did you ever you used to notice the things I used to do like losing a sock and shoe?
Did you notice the things my family used to do like feeding and bathing me all the days through?
Do you still see the baby in me? Late 20th to early 21st century
Why did you make me?
Would you agree there's a character in me?
Why did you bring this disabled world to me?
Thank you god for making me.
Am I the human being you wanted me to be?
What are you seeing and thinking when you look down from heaven to earth at me?
You see a human being who is not very wise.
How can you see me god with those far away eyes?
As a human being I am sitting here still.
I'm human baby, child and teenager inside an adult who used to dribble her food and make no reply.
You look down from heaven to earth in a loud voice saying I wish she'd try.
Did you ever you used to notice the things I used to do like losing a sock and shoe?
Did you notice the things my family used to do like feeding and bathing me all the days through?
Do you still see the baby in me? Late 20th to early 21st century
I’m human like everyone.
If you open your eyes god I'm a disabled person who
has or should the rights to live my life the same as other people and that's
the same for other disabled people too.
I will tell you as the human being sitting here all through my childhood I could not see a brother and sister with me.
It was the beginning of my teenage years when my baby sister came to me.
No sign of my Father until I was twenty - one all my family were there for me from birth.
I will tell you as the human being sitting here all through my childhood I could not see a brother and sister with me.
It was the beginning of my teenage years when my baby sister came to me.
No sign of my Father until I was twenty - one all my family were there for me from birth.
When I was a young girl of sixteen I used to dream
of wings underneath my feet dreaming of the man I'd marry, how wrong was I to
think such a thing. I was just too blind to see but what will be. Never say
never there's still time for me but I have also learned not to build my hopes
up you see.
When I was twenty - eight I thought my life was
over I thought it was too late, even though I was in love with a man who wasn't
right for me.
I may go through pain in my life like everyone else but I pick myself up and move on. Late 20TH – 21ST Century
I may go through pain in my life like everyone else but I pick myself up and move on. Late 20TH – 21ST Century
Time.
I believe there's always someone for someone.
Only you god can tell me what my future is to be.
When I was a young woman of thirty I thought I'd live a normal life to be.
I thought by the age of thirty I'd be rearing young of my own but now I have seen the world today it's not a safe world for children to be.
Being disabled is stopping rearing children like everyone else I just needed the support that was all.
Only you god can tell me what my future is to be.
When I was a young woman of thirty I thought I'd live a normal life to be.
I thought by the age of thirty I'd be rearing young of my own but now I have seen the world today it's not a safe world for children to be.
Being disabled is stopping rearing children like everyone else I just needed the support that was all.
Not everyone is lucky to have their dream home and
lover to be which has taught me not to live in fairly tale land to be.
I must say it would be nice to be with a gentleman who will bond with me to love forever endlessly.
I must say it would be nice to be with a gentleman who will bond with me to love forever endlessly.
Now I am nearly forty the years are rolling fast.
I have walked out on one man who was not meant to last with me but now I have learned to see what happens when tomorrow's door opens.
I have walked out on one man who was not meant to last with me but now I have learned to see what happens when tomorrow's door opens.
Who knows where I will be when I am fifty, will
there be the man for me? Late 20th – 21 Century
What’s life all about?
My dark future will be upon me so I will now try to
live my life without regret.
Loneliness and old age will give me so much to dread.
While I'm still young enough I will enjoy the life I have yet.
Old age will not make a fool out of me, if that was so what a sad character I would be.
I don't expect people to feel sorry for me, old or young I must enjoy life while I am here.
I want my peaceful body crumbled away with happiness and grace but no pain.
Now and again I will look down from heaven to earth to see the people I leave behind who I remember well.
You must accept the fact that we can't live forever.
So open your eyes god open and see, under that disabled person is an able human being and she is a real character in me.
I will still write short stories, novel, play and romantic poetry. Late 20th century to early 21st century.
Loneliness and old age will give me so much to dread.
While I'm still young enough I will enjoy the life I have yet.
Old age will not make a fool out of me, if that was so what a sad character I would be.
I don't expect people to feel sorry for me, old or young I must enjoy life while I am here.
I want my peaceful body crumbled away with happiness and grace but no pain.
Now and again I will look down from heaven to earth to see the people I leave behind who I remember well.
You must accept the fact that we can't live forever.
So open your eyes god open and see, under that disabled person is an able human being and she is a real character in me.
I will still write short stories, novel, play and romantic poetry. Late 20th century to early 21st century.
I would love to see myself as Mary
poplins'.
Give me a broom stick so I can fly so high up to
the sky.
Take me up to heaven for me to look down to say goodbye to earth.
In heaven I could be happy and high.
Give me a lolly pop stick so I can jump up and down from heaven to earth like a Jack in the box.
I will fly around in the sky such a high with my kite on windy days and nights.
I will swim around the sky when it rains.
Oh yes those will be the days that will never ever end.
Am I thinking about Mary poplins' or Mary Poplins?
There used to be happy days on earth but not anymore. 30.8.2013
Take me up to heaven for me to look down to say goodbye to earth.
In heaven I could be happy and high.
Give me a lolly pop stick so I can jump up and down from heaven to earth like a Jack in the box.
I will fly around in the sky such a high with my kite on windy days and nights.
I will swim around the sky when it rains.
Oh yes those will be the days that will never ever end.
Am I thinking about Mary poplins' or Mary Poplins?
There used to be happy days on earth but not anymore. 30.8.2013
Bunny rabbit.
I have sticky out teeth.
I live in a hutch.
I eat carrots.
I can see in the dark.
I get so bored inside my hutch that I run wild when I am out of it. 28.12.12
I live in a hutch.
I eat carrots.
I can see in the dark.
I get so bored inside my hutch that I run wild when I am out of it. 28.12.12
World blind.
You say black.
I say white.
No one is wrong or right.
There's just a misunderstanding of one another's minds.
That misunderstanding can cause sadness that can take away ones' choice.
One's' choice of been left out of the rest of the world.
You can do what you want safely without answering to anyone.
You don't feel useless.
You don't feel like hard work to other people.
Despite of the world been blind to me, I'm learning something new every day.
May be I need more help to learn but I'm not blind in everything.
I still learn the same but different to you. 31.12.2011
I say white.
No one is wrong or right.
There's just a misunderstanding of one another's minds.
That misunderstanding can cause sadness that can take away ones' choice.
One's' choice of been left out of the rest of the world.
You can do what you want safely without answering to anyone.
You don't feel useless.
You don't feel like hard work to other people.
Despite of the world been blind to me, I'm learning something new every day.
May be I need more help to learn but I'm not blind in everything.
I still learn the same but different to you. 31.12.2011
Misunderstanding.
Hello, are you there?
Am I speaking to a person?
Can you speak?
No reply, why?
This is never a human?
I can take a while to speak; it may take a while for me take in what you have just said.
Ok, you think I am rather strange.
You must be strange not to give me time to speak.
What are we on about; we have known one another all our lives?
We still can't communicate.
I know I'm your family member, we know one another since we were born.
We still don't know or understand one another. 31.12.2011
Am I speaking to a person?
Can you speak?
No reply, why?
This is never a human?
I can take a while to speak; it may take a while for me take in what you have just said.
Ok, you think I am rather strange.
You must be strange not to give me time to speak.
What are we on about; we have known one another all our lives?
We still can't communicate.
I know I'm your family member, we know one another since we were born.
We still don't know or understand one another. 31.12.2011
You have walked on me.
I am the path.
I am the sand.
I am the sea.
You walk on me or swim inside me.
I am your water to cool you down.
I'm in the middle, you are all round me.
You’re lying on me.
You’re standing on me.
You all make the world a bigger place than it seems to be.
You are all over crowding me.
I can't breathe.
It's like I can't join or fit in.
You will make fun of me because I can't join in with you all. 31. 12 . 2011
I am the sand.
I am the sea.
You walk on me or swim inside me.
I am your water to cool you down.
I'm in the middle, you are all round me.
You’re lying on me.
You’re standing on me.
You all make the world a bigger place than it seems to be.
You are all over crowding me.
I can't breathe.
It's like I can't join or fit in.
You will make fun of me because I can't join in with you all. 31. 12 . 2011
I will be on my own.
I will be on my own.
My company isn't good enough for you.
I am hard work for you.
I need more help than other people.
When no one is there you're wondering why I'm alone.
When people are there you're wondering why they bother with me in case I am hard work for them.
With the limits of what I can do in my life it's as if I shouldn't have been born.
As if I shouldn't be on this earth.
As if life isn't worth living.
That's where you're wrong when I have my creative talents.
What am I doing now?
I am putting my feelings in poetry and words. 31 . 12 . 2011
My company isn't good enough for you.
I am hard work for you.
I need more help than other people.
When no one is there you're wondering why I'm alone.
When people are there you're wondering why they bother with me in case I am hard work for them.
With the limits of what I can do in my life it's as if I shouldn't have been born.
As if I shouldn't be on this earth.
As if life isn't worth living.
That's where you're wrong when I have my creative talents.
What am I doing now?
I am putting my feelings in poetry and words. 31 . 12 . 2011
My secret Valentine.
Please can I be your
Valentine.
I have seen you but I
don’t know if you have seen me.
If you want to know who I
am please come and find me.
The first day I saw you I
really wanted you to be mine until the end of time.
I have only saw you, I don't know your name, I can’t get your face out of my mind, I only hope in it will
pass in time.
Whoever you are please be
my secret Valentine.
I know you and I are hard
to find. 1997
Men talking about women.
Women smoke too much.
Women drink too much.
Women hope for too much.
Women chat too much.
Women worry too much.
Women worry about how they look too much.
Women worry about us men too much.
Women cry too much.
Women work too much.
Women worry about children too much.
Women love men too much.
Really most men look for the kind of people their
women are more so than their looks. 1999
Too hard to say goodbye.
It’s too hard to say goodbye once I have seen you.
I know it could be a long time until I see you
again.
Never the less no matter how much time I miss you
the more it will be worth it to see you again.
Nothing or no one will change the way I feel about
you.
It will be lovely to see more of you but not too
much but I love all the same however long or short time apart.
No matter how hard it is to say good bye, my
patience never run out over you. 17.12.2011 – 12. 10.2013
I must walk on before you walk over me.
I am the mat.
I am the floor.
I am to be walked on but not.
I am a human being.
I am the footpath.
I am the sea, no I am not I am me.
You walk all over me if I don’t walk fast enough
for you.
You swim with me then always have to beat me.
I’m in the middle; you are round me excepting me to
do things to please you all the while.
I’m lying down and you are standing on me.
You are crowding round me, it’s like there’s more
of you than there is of me.
I can’t breathe I need a place to sit or stand in a
space that’s free.
I can’t join in with you all cause I don’t fit into
all your thought.
You will make fun of me because I find it hard to
be the same as you. 31.11.2011
Someone, something is behind me.
Someone, something is behind me.
They want for me to move fast.
I’m trying to move in time to their speed.
Something or someone that seems nasty is getting
closer and closer.
I am taking up their space.
Here I am made to feel useless and guilty again. 31.12.2011
Anxiety.
Everything seems worse than it is whether it is or
isn’t.
There’s too
much on the mind 24 hours a day.
The mind never ever rests.
Thoughts go your head over and over again.
Anger seems to build up inside.
You find it hard to sleep at night.
What seems easy for others to deal with isn’t for
you.
It may be a worry that will build up in the end.
You may have a reason to worry but you may not.
No matter how hard you try to control that worry
you just can’t.
Anxiety and stress is hard to deal with.
The anger and stress is inside you which is hard to
control.
Without writing and art I would have got myself
misunderstood even more so.
My writing and art is my way of keeping myself
calm.
I fear I may have been dangerous without meaning to
be. 31.12.2011
I’m just me.
I’m no clever person but I am not thick either.
I just write what’s going through my mind.
I’m just me a human being like you.
I am nobody special.
I have a career.
I have a life.
I cope alone but I still have the world watching
over me. 31. 12.2011
Lack of communication.
It can be so hard to speak ones’ mind when the
right words don’t come the mind, out the mouth.
The mind can be hard to control.
Being heard and understood can be two different
things.
There are times that no one takes the time to
listen to what the person is saying.
The voice needs to be heard.
You haven't achieved what you were hoping for me.
People make fun because you may not have said what
you were thinking.
You know what you mean even if people don’t.
31.12.2011
zombie
I am in a world of my own.
I am Zombie.
All I can see is crowds of people crowding round
me.
I feel like a puppet on a string.
Everyone seems to be having a good time yet I seem
to be missing what is going on.
No worries I will find my way alone somehow.
I’m just in a dream world.
Where are the people I know, they have seemed to
have left and yet they seem millions of miles away.
Where do I go now?
Am I going left, right or straight on?
There are too many people for me to know.
Too much nose, too many people talking at once.
The world is buzzing around.
I feel so overcrowded by the world. 31.12.2011
Mirror mind.
Mirror writing on my mind.
To me the world is upside down.
I see words upside down.
When look through the mirror I see an upside down
world.
I see writing upside down letters and words.
I can see me mirror writing the world of words.
Look at me!
Mirror writing, painting, drawing, poetry and short
stories.
We are just looking from darkness into the light.
The future is hard to see because the world had no
money.
This could be bad enough for the next generation.
31.12.2011 –
2.1.2012
Only me and you.
Only me and you together.
However long it takes to see you is when it’s going
to be.
You know that I miss you so much.
You know that I love you so much.
Nothing and no one can take one
another away
from each other. 2.1.2012 – 12.10.2013
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