New term new-year to come.

Preparing student learning disability nurse for a new term and a new year.

Hi everyone I hope the holiday has worked out for you. You may have read a report on my website before the summer break started about preparing you for the new term and year as a Student Learning Disability nurse. Whatever University and year you're in very good luck to you for the term and year ahead. I hope last year was successful and I hope this year will be too.

How I got idea for this report was that the Jobcentre send me on a confidence course and this is what I learned not that I don't feel 100% confident myself but I guess better than I was before I started see what this does for you.

Look at the way you think!

Believe in yourself before believing in others.

Like yourself before you like others.

Love yourself before you love others.

Have faith in yourself before you have faith in others.

Learn how you can make positive out of negative. For example

Negative: Everything is my entire fault. No it can be but even if it is how do we put the past behind us?

Positive: No not everything is my fault.

Learn how to control your mind; you may have a voice up there that you don't agree with. If you are controlled by that voice you are controlled by others, which is what you don’t want. Due to the way society treats people with disabilities and health we find it hard to control our own lives so if you can't control your own what chances have we got? A lot of people with Anxiety and Depression for example find it hard to see the better in ourselves and our lives. We do everything we can ourselves but we may need a bit more support than others. Not that I am saying you're not controlling your own lives but there’s always ways of improving things and making you to feel better in yourself to make others feel better in themselves.  

Put yourself in someone’s else’s shoes.

How people with disabilities and health problems want to be treated like and to be spoken to, the people themselves should have the choice to decide on that. People shouldn’t guess on how the minds of others work. They should think about how they would like to be treated and spoken then treat and speak to people in the same way. Here is some different ways of talking to disabled people, the government has come up but who are they to know without asking people first. Some ways you may agree with other ways you may not?

A lot of people with disabilities and health problems find it hard to think positive about themselves due to their disabilities and health problems and on the whole society fills our head with negative. This is because society sees us as hard work, needing support to live our lives and we cost too much money. Therefore to us it’s as if we are getting punchished for being and way we are when we didn’t make ourselves that way. In the past we were classed as hopeless, helpless and etc. There was a period of years hopes were staring to build for people with disabilities and health problems until David Cameron and the Tory government came in.

I understand that different services this, that and the other are being cut it’s hard to give people with disabilities and health problems there help and support we need. As time has gone on there has been less and help to a point most people with disabilities and health problems naturally tend to think the cuts are getting be an excuse not to give us the help we need but I know it’s not the case in all cases.

  

I understand in today’s world it will be hard for you to positive with your patience’s but you can only do your best. Yes I agree that it’s best to tell the truth whether what you say is negative or positive but bearing the mind at the same time with them having disabilities and health problems society fills them with negative thoughts. All the same if the truth is positives then tell them that.

I understand you have to work under a management rules, regulations and etc so can only what you can do. The universities teach things just in case you need and can use the knowledge we teach.

 During your courses always keep an on what you have learned because things can change therefore information can be updated or not apply anymore, meaning if you get access a lot online. I will be honest to say, be careful because it could take a while or long time till many sites are updated therefore you may need to find out if anything is in replace of whatever or not.

https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/inclusive-communication/inclusive-language-words-to-use-and-avoid-when-writing-about-disability--2

·       We all should take a look at ourselves before we take a look at others.

·       Because of our disabilities and health problems society tends to think that we have limits in our lives, that we are helpless, useless, which no wonder it's too easy for us to think negative of ourselves but that doesn't mean to say that we all do.

·       Some of us like other people even may think positive of ourselves in some ways but not in others so in the end we are no different to others as society says we are.

·       We don't enjoy living in this negative world and if the government has its way our lives will be negative.

·       We are more that will to be positive people we just need that are more support to do so.

·       To prove ourselves right and society wrong.
The positive in disabilities is that a lot of our strengths are creative but society won't let us be because society tends to see the weakness in us, please support us to prove our strengths that society doesn't give us the chance to use.

·       You can support us to do that by bringing the positive out of yourselves.   http://www.scope.org.uk/Scope/media/Images/Publication%20Directory/Current-attitudes-towards-disabled-people.pdf?ext=.pdf

 What's worrying me?

·       Was I right to worry?

·       Was it as bad as what I thought?

·       Does a small problem seem like a big problem?

·       Do you have your times to worry in the same way someone with Anxiety does, think about that one!

Do you have your times that life feels dull but not as dull as it seems?

The positive in you.

Job skills.

·       Think of the skills you have achieved.

·            Is there anything you need to improve on if so what?

·       What have you learned?

·       What do you need to learn?

·       What did you achieve at the University last term?

·       What do you hope to achieve at the University next term?

·       How can we help you reach the goal you want?

·       Is there anything we can improve on in the way we teach, if so what?

·            Can we improve our teaching skills?

·            Is there anything you feel we are not teaching you, you feel you need to know?

·       Please tell us what your thoughts are positive or and negative whichever way round you like so we can make your time at University as positive as possible!

·       Is there a way you can think positive, if so how?

Take a look at your own life before you compare others.

·            You don't have to tell us about your life, just ask yourself questions, answer them carefully and honesty to yourself.

·       Is there anything you feel you need to change about yourself if so what?

·       What will make you happy or and what can improve for you?

·       Do you ever put yourself down, if so how often? I admit I do what about you? Therefore we can help ourselves get through the negative into the positive.

·       Do you ever blame yourself a lot, if so don’t but then it’s not easy because I will honest I do it because we only go by what life seems?

·       How can we feel good about ourselves? No harm having support from others but then most is down to ourselves because life is what we make it.

·       Think about you before thinking about others.

·       Do you worry about the way others look at you even though they may not have spoke to you?

·       Do you sense in a certain way how others talk to you?

·       It’s not always what you say it’s how you say it?

·       Think about how others have talked to you and treated you compare it with how you would want to talk to and treat your patients mainly when it comes to those have disabilities and health problems.

  

http://rescare.org.uk/history-of-legislation-on-disability/

The world is not all black and white.

·       Does everything seem one way to you?

·       For example black, white, blue, yellow or orange meaning negative or positive.

·       Do you find it hard to put negative past experiences behind you? People who have been through certain things do.

·       Think of something positive as well as negative what your past you don't to share it with anyone if you don’t want.

·       Think about the negative and positive in your life now, which you don't have to share with anyone if you don’t want!

·            Do you feel in control of your own life not letting that little voice that might be in your head controlling your mind?

·            Be honest with yourself before you support others.

·            Do you feel confident to support people with disabilities and health problems make us feel good about ourselves.

·             A lot of us spend time feeling and thinking negative because very often society doesn't have faith in people with disabilities and health problems.

·            A lot of us want to think positive about ourselves which we want to we just need a bit of support to do so.

·            To do that think about how your life is. Is it more positive than negative? Just answer yes or no.

·              Think about how you would support people with disabilities and health problems to be positive.

·             Have you got what it takes to be a Learning Disability nurse?

·             A negative life can affect a person's health.

·             It doesn't help people with disabilities and health problems if people tell us we can't live as equal life as possible to others, others need to be willing to support us to do so.

·             People with disabilities and health problems do our best to help ourselves for eg; more people with disabilities and health problems want to work than other people just that we need the right support, which there's not enough of.

·            How can you relate to someone who suffers such health problems as Anxiety and Depression, how you can help them to think positive but the work isn't just down to you also them too.

·            You can only help those who help themselves.

How hard or easy is it for you to think this way?

Even I find it hard to think this way because if you have to prepare for tomorrow you need to think about tomorrow.

Yesterday has gone.

Think about today now.

Think about tomorrow when it comes.

To me it’s not easy if I have to prepare myself for tomorrow.

Learn how to deal with the questions going round your head.  

Turn negative into positive.

Face the worrying questions.

Is life as bad as what it seems to you as it does to your patience’s?

But if?

What if?

Which is positive and which is Negative?

What if? What if I don’t become a Learning disability nurse?

No such word as can't: of course you will come a Learning disability nurse.

When someone says there’s no such word as can’t for some things it can be hard for you to believe in yourself but other things it’s not that bad. Only the person who’s not feeling very confident knows what they feel so you need support their fears but they need to try themselves.   

The person may use words like I am not good enough; it’s down to them to work on believing in themselves before you can support them.

The person may have doubts of a situation that you may find yourself supporting.

Believe in yourself before you help others to believe in their selves, it’s easy said than done for most people, you can work on whatever with them if they work on it themselves.

This is a poem related to my relationship before my last 1.

I am me.

I am me; no one can take that away from me.

I am now without you, I am doing very well.

You are not here with me and I am not here with you to be your victim of love, which is what I learned in the end, what you wanted me for.

My failure was been with you but my success is being without you. 20.6.2015

About being confident.

You don't have to have disabilities and health problems to be not confident but the way society treats people with disabilities and health problem, even the elderly as well it doesn’t always makes us feel confident about ourselves even though a lot of us try to be, which is not surprising is it.

Yesterday the Job Centre put me on a confidence course, which benefitted me a bit but not a lot but I did learn a few tips for my teaching I will be honest to say.

It’s surprising how writing things down could help. If you have a negative thought write it down then turn it into a positive until you feel completely sure of yourself. If have a positive thought in the first place I guess you will feel even more positive of yourself. Give a go to see what happens!

For some people it may help for with disabilities and health problems other may not. Everyone you come across could be different so except anything off anyone what you must remember is that society puts so much negative in our minds in order to make it hard for us to think positive. For example my early days of accessing employment where I couldn't complete the jobs to the way employers expect me to be because I was rushed the job wasn't done how it should. In many jobs I tried I couldn't do. Now I am the job I can manage with people who are giving me the right support. http://www.bewhoyoucanbe.org/

Control.

How many times have you been controlled by a voice in your head?

For example; Oh that fresh cream looks nice today I think I will have that.

No I won’t because if I do I will put half a stone on.

I will be honest I always fail that because I love my food.

Take a look at the topic I have just written. There’s a bit of negative and positive in that topic. The fresh cream cake taste nice, that the positive but the negative is that it will make me fat so I need to control the thoughts in my head. Therefore I need willpower not to eat that fresh cream cake. Not good I know but I am being honest.

How many times have you been controlled by others?

How many times have you been someone’s’ doormat?  

How many times have you done the right thing that’s hurt at the time so you thought you had done wrong?

How many times have you made mistakes that you didn’t see as wrong at the time?

How many mistakes have you learned from some, all or none?

How many times have you put the blame yourself for everything?

I will be honest all of those I have managed to put myself through one way or the other. I have to stop telling myself off for mistakes I made so long ago, which is still not easy. I should put it behind me no matter how hard it is.

We must never think we are better or worse than others.

We are all human and different to one another whether we have disabilities and health problems or not, it would be a boring world if we were all the same.

  

Never bring yourself down to someone else’s level.

·       Walk away with what you’re not happy with however you feel in other ways.

·       Dog eat dog is not the answer for example: The cause of the breakup of the relationship before last was that my ex played mind games, he never knew what he wanted and we were together 13 and a half years on and off.

·        I thought a lot more of him I don't think he thought as much of him as I did of him and he played on that. There came a time I had to force myself to slowly walk out of his life no matter how much it hurt to do so at the time and how strongly I felt for him.

·       It wasn't right away but during that time I was taking those slow baby steps to walk out his life but when I did he wanted back, it was too late to a point I don't love him anymore but I have learned that he didn't want me for me he just wanted me for a love victim that he could play mind games with and I am never going back.

·      I don't believe revenge is the answer just walk away if you don't like what you're facing.

·                  My mistake was for a long time I carried on until I had to find myself forcing myself to walk away from someone who didn't feel the same way about me as I did about him but in the end I gave him a taste of his own medicine but the difference I don't keep on changing my mind like he did.

http://www.nidirect.gov.uk/recognising-adult-abuse

http://www.springtideresources.org/resource/emotional-abuse-assessment-guide

Think about how your life is before you can support others with theirs but they need to help themselves as well.

·       Think what you say before you say it.

·       Sometimes it’s not what you say it can be how you say it.

·       Speak for yourself if your life is not much different to other so think how you respond before you expect others to.

·       Emphasise - put yourself in someone’s shoes. (How do you feel?) (How would you feel in their situation?)

·       Respect their choices even though it may not be the choice you may not make if you were in whatever the situation they are in.

·        I know it is hard to see things in a way of choices you may not make but you need to learn to respect the choice the person makes for their reason.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2QmeWe2KoDs

List three things you have learned from this handout then feedback to me on sarajgorman@gmail.com