Introducing Britain to education on disabilities and mental health problems.

I have just been looking the disabled world website to find out that Scope has reported that 76% of Britain people find it hard to be around people with disabilities and Health problems. Whether we have disabilities and health problems or not we are to blame for something. Everyone in the world has good and bad in them even a lot of people disabilities and health problems know and don’t except our disabilities and health problems to be an excused for anything. A lot of us want equal lives to other people. We do not want to be a centre of attention but awareness needs to be raised. Like I said everyone is to be blamed for something because we are human, life can’t be all good and life can’t be all bad but no one is to be blamed for having disabilities and health problems.

No one knows what’s round the condor something could happen to you that could change life for the worst and turn your world upside down and inside out, which no one with disabilities and health problems would ever wish it on but you will only really truly understand what it’s like to have disabilities and health problems if it happens to you. I am not say it’s the worst thing in the world but very big change and affect on a human being’s life.   

People with disabilities and health problems are mostly seen as a danger of society but with the right support we should equal rights to other people.  We don't want to be a problem to others but the areas we do need help with we don't mean or want to be a burden to society and we didn’t chose to be the way we are. Anyone can have a talent whether we have disabilities and problems or not. Due to the face that people with disabilities and health problems need a bit more care, support than other people.  Many of us may take long to learn but some of are more different than others. Therefore society sees people with disabilities and health problems as hard work because we need support one way and another and we cost too much money through no fault of our own. The way society tends to see it as if we choose to have disabilities and health problems when no body does therefore it should be our rights to have equal lives to other people. Therefore society tends to see the negative and the weak in us but everyone.  Even people like us at leasts has some strenght, skill and positivty in us. For example Many of us have some skill and talent in us. For example I am not skilled pysically and manuely but mentally like everyone we all have strenghts and weaknesses. In fact a lot of us with disabilities and health problems find it easier to express our selves in talent better than any other way.

Word can be music and poetry or one or the other.
Having disabilities and health problems shouldn't be all dull. Talent can be a way of most people coping with their disabilities and health problems. Bring out the positive out of the negative.

P

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John Lennon.                                       

                                                                               

John Lennon was a young hippie in the 1960s.

He believed in peace not war.

He would not be happy with the world been any other way than peace not war.

Today he'd be rolling in his grave if he saw knew what a mess the world is today.

John always rewarded brave people.

He wrote great song and poetry.

He drew and painted lovely pictures.

He was a very clever man.

The sad thing was that he did not die in people but with a bang.

Everyone guessed that John Lennon wanted to die at a peaceful grand old age with no pain but just in his sleep. 31.1.2001

27 1997.

At the age of 27 1997, it was a bad year.

You broke my heart, you tore me apart.

At the age of 27 in 1997 I just wanted to go to heaven.

Life did not seem worth living, it all seemed like a dark tunnel.

The winter was dull and cold without you.

I discovered Shelley and Keats in the summer.

Without planning to I wrote poetry but when I did I knew life was worth living after all.

Once I started writing poetry it helped me clear my mixed up mind which helped me to get stronger in my mind.

That's when I learned to understand that life goes on, without writing poetry I would have broke down or and even ended my own life.

Jim Hendrix, Kurt Cobain and Jim Morrison all suffered depression one way or the other over difference very bad times in life; they were all 27 when they died.

They were very creative people in their music but I pulled through my breakdown when I was nearly twenty - eight by discovering poetry. 13.2.2009

How did he write?

How did he read what he wrote?

He must have been a remarkable guy.

How did he write if he was blind?

See people with disabilities are creative, they can get jobs.

We all work in difference ways sense, feel, sight, smell, taste and touch or even all.

How did he know that he was writing what he wanted to write?

How did he get down on paper what was going on through his mind?

I guess he could not see pictures and he may not have got the support.

I guess there was not Braille or any other support in the 1600s.

The 1600s was John Milton’s time; life must have been dark for him been blind.

It's hard for someone to understand who is blind.

Blind is not just blind in sight, dyslexia is a word blindness.

Autism is mind blindness.

People with all kinds of disabilities manage more than what people think, even though we are slower because of our disabilities that makes us a better than people who have not got anything to slow them down.

With not seeing you must worry that you are feeling and touching the wrong things.

How do you know if you are touching right people?

It must be hurtful not to see what you have achieved.

I think a lot of people who are clever have disabilities.

The blind may have a lot of support now but not in John Milton’s time. 19.21.8.2002

Disability and talent.

Most of us can paint; others can draw or even do both as artists.

There are people with disabilities who can take pictures.

Some of us are writers in poets, playwright, short story tellers and writers.

There people with disabilities who are novelists.

There are even people with disabilities who can sing.

May be we are slower than other people at our jobs but we can do creative jobs with the right support.

A long time ago people with disabilities used to be disliked.

The reason for this is because the lives of people with disabilities are affected due to their disabilities.

Over the years society has discovered with the right support people with disabilities should get by just the same as people who are non - disabled.

It can be very hard when disabilities are not seen.

Only because a person and walk and talk, it does not mean that they have not got a disability.

It is really up to the people with disabilities to tell people they have disabilities.

People must learn to understand if people disabilities don't anything and you think something is wrong.

Have you ever thought that even now there are people that turn a blind at people with disabilities, people with disabilities may feel scared, embarrassed and even ashamed to say so?

How would you feel if you were us?

We should not be made to feel that way but in some cases of our lives society still see us as hard work and completely useless.

Why doesn’t society look at the strong parts of people with disabilities and give us a chance to bring what comes easy to us to life!

Society should let us believe in us as human beings.

They would not like if people were saying they could not do this, that and other. 18.7.2005

You have walked on me.

       I am the path.

I am the sand.

I am the sea.

You walk on me or swim inside me.

I am your water to cool you down.

I'm in the middle, you are all round me.

You lie on me.

You stand on me.

You all make the world a bigger place than it seems to be.

You are all over crowding me.

I can't breathe.

It's like I can't join or fit in.

You will make fun of me because I can't join in with you all. 31. 12. 2011

I can't sleep.

I can't sleep I have so much on my mind.
 It's twenty to three in the morning, I just can’t sleep.
I just have so much stress that I don't want to put on you.
I am just not thinking straight at the moment.
The weather is even more cold and dark without you. 15.12.2009

I feel so low.

I feel so low and empty without you.
How did I meet you?
How did I fall for you?
How did I get myself in this state?
Why did I build up my hopes that you were the one for me?
I remember I was going through with heartache with someone else when I first met you.

Now feel the same now as I did then.
It never seems to end.
I don't want anyone but you.
Now I have tell myself that in time I will meet someone new just as I had to when I broke up with all the other lovers.

This is hard to believe to how I feel now, 6.11.2012

Hiding pain with a smile.
Sometimes the world can know too much about you.
Sometimes we should be free to have our secrets and cope alone with whatever goes wrong.
Drinking may not be the answer but tears are too locked in the eyes to cry.
Keeping oneself busy is keeping ones' self going.
Now it's too easy to fear the future.
Not wanting to be alone but not having to deal with disappointed ended love.
It's hard to know what you do and don't want let alone what's going to happen.
Try not to think about it, just get on with it with a smile.

May be it's easy to smile but hard to stop thinking about you.
No matter how I try I find my feelings for you are hard to go. 9.12.2012

Crime has grown.

As we are all aware crime has seemed to have grown a lot in the last ten years or so.

Crime is growing bigger all the time.

Danger and affect everyone’s' lives one way or the other.

There’s never any excuse for crime but it can be hard to know what people goes through people's minds who commit crime.

All it takes is a matter of time.

People can take out anger on others due to Mental illnesses, drugs. Side - effects of medications, stress they may have had from other people.

This doesn't there should take it out on others. Some people get themselves into these dangers but not even been aware of what they have done. 2011 - 2015-03-08

Crime, disability and mental health.

When it comes to people with disabilities and health problems been victims of crime, this can be a hard job for the police to deal with because a lot of people with disabilities and health problems find it hard to communicate,

Some people find it harder than others, depending their disability or and health problem.

This I will explain about how hard it is for people with disabilities and health problems to explain us.

Therefore we may not believe or understood unless the crime was seen by anyone, which has never been the case in my case?

People who commit crimes are crafty. 2011-2015

John Lennon.
John Lennon was a young hippie in the 1960s.
He believed in peace not war.
He would not be happy with the world been any other way than peace not war.
Today he'd be rolling in his grave if he saw knew what a mess the world is today.
John always rewarded brave people.
He wrote great song and poetry.
He drew and painted lovely pictures.
He was a very clever man.

The sad thing was that he did not die in people but with a bang.
Everyone guessed that John Lennon wanted to die at a peaceful grand old age with no pain but just in his sleep. 31.1.2001

I feel so low.

I feel so low and empty without you.
How did I meet you?
How did I fall for you?
How did I get myself in this state?
Why did I build up my hopes that you were the one for me?
I remember I was going through with heartache with someone else when I first met you.

Now feel the same now as I did then.
It never seems to end.
I don't want anyone but you.
Now I have tell myself that in time I will meet someone new just as I had to when I broke up with all the other lovers.
This is hard to believe to how I feel now, 6.11.2012

Feelings. 

 Didn’t you love me?

Our relationship was based on you lying about your feelings towards me.
I was too blind to disbelieve about the way you feel about me.

It’s time to move on.

It's time to stop turning up on your door step. 5.11.2012 -18.11.2012

Understanding people.

The only people who understand we is we.
Freedom is important we without knowing it we control one another.
We are looked at as strange from strangers as if we have masks to cover as faces.
We are looked at as if we are wrong all the while.
We are looked as if we are not human.
We looked at if we are nuts and out of our minds all the time.

There's a fear if we are watched all the time.
What we do and say isn't wrong all the time.
Not everyone sees things our way; it would be boring if everyone’s minds were the same. 9.12.2012

 Understanding people.

Where are the people I know, they have seemed to have left and yet they seem millions of miles away.

Where do I go now?

Left, right or straight on.

There are too many people for me to know.

Too much nose, too many people talking at once.

The world is buzzing around.

I feel so overcrowded by the world. 31.12.2011

 Mirror mind.

Mirror mind.

Mirror writing.

To me the world is upside down.

I see words upside down.

When look through the mirror I see an upside down world.

I see writing upside down letters and words.

I can see me mirror writing the world of words.

Look at me!

Mirror writing, painting, drawing, poetry and short stories.

We are just looking from darkness into the light.

The future is hard to see because the world had no money.

This could be bad enough for the next generation.

31.12.2011 – 2.1.2012

  

I can fight this bad feeling whatever it is.

A bad feeling can happen whether there's a reason or not.
You can feel bad even when you know there's nothing to feel about bad about. You can feel as the world is looking at you and judging even if they are not.
You can feel alone even when you’re not.
You can feel worried even if you have nothing to worry about.
Stay strong which I know is easy to say, show the world despite of how you feel that you are alive.
You don't feel special but you are.
You feel like a bad person but you are a good person.

Of course things will get better even though it doesn't seem that way.

The good is out there somewhere it's just finding it.
It may not come for a long time to come but then quicker than you think
it will be better if you're patient enough to wait.
I know the bad is too easy to fear but the good is hard to think.
I guess I just accept too much without meaning to.
I know it's not easy to believe in ourselves even though we should. 
Yet if we believe in ourselves we can believe in others.
If we learn to love ourselves we can love others. 9/12/2012-20.2.2015

Fits.

My body is like a machine as I get electric shocks in my knees and legs.

That’s when a get a headache, sometimes I got dizzy and then I start to shake.

Time to lie down to rest my aching head.

Let the turn carry on till I sleep.

Yet I am aware what’s going on around me but I am feeling unwell.

I am confused whether it’s fits, Anxiety attacks or even both yet they very rarely happen.

In the mean time it’s like electric wires coming in and out my head like blowing fuses.

This could be caused by worry and stress or even hot and cold weather.

The cold spells tend to cause me dizziness.

Loud sounds can make me shake and jump. 2.6.2012

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4lUELKqyZFI

These poems I agree you may have seen before but I have picked the ones that show the Anxiety and depression in me. I may even write new poems that people haven’t seen on this page as well. Now many people will say, which I believe is true that Anxiety and depression can affect a lot of relationships with people around you like friends, family and lovers for example. Hopefully after I've done this page, there will be more awareness and understanding of Anxiety and depression.

This morning I tried to cancel my foot appointment at the Health clinic next-door my doctors. The phone number that was on the letter they sent me was disconnected so I rang up my doctors. Fair enough they said that they would only the same reply. They said

 “You just need to keep trying.”  

“What if I don’t any reply at all today and my appointment is very early tomorrow.”

“Nothing I can do.”

  I thought fair enough but they could think I haven’t tried to cancel and I have purposely not turned up. I looked online to find the number of the Learning Disability team then they got touch with the clinic to get in touch with me.

Ok, fair enough if the phone engaged that is acceptable because there are other people using these services but not to disconnect phones during working hours. Talk about a lack of communication and understanding.