Sunday 23 August 2015

Updated poems

Failed relationships never say never.
So I made an old poem into a new.
My relationships I have never lasted but I will never give up hope.
From now I won't look for them but they can find me.
Is everything going very slowly?
I realised one day I had a lucky escape from the failed relationships I did have
 1997 - 2015.



I love the sea.
I love the beach and the sea.
The beach and the sea is a romantic place to be.
I love the sun shining and rising over the deep blue sea with a lovely yellow sun set.
I think it's the place to be.
I love the yellow sand; it's lovely to lovely make sand castles with children by the sea. 1997 – 2000

I try to be romantic.
who I fall for either.
He may well rip my heart into a thousand pieces yet I love him like there's no other man on this earth.
I try to be romantic, that's the way I want to be.
If it's not right for women to be romantic I won't be, I will only show my feelings out in poetry.
My feelings towards someone who means a lot to me yet I don't mean a lot to him anymore, he loves another woman.
He hurt me very badly.
I can't help the way I am I was born to be soft and romantic yet I can't help the way I feel.
Now I find it hard to stop writing poetry as my feelings are uncontrolled.

Believe me that man was not as special as I made him out to be in this poem, I only thought he was. How blind was he not to understand how much I loved him but how blind was I to not understand that he did not really love me? Then we may have just loved one another as much as we could. We were both blind in our ways in our minds.
I must stop trying too hard because trying too hard does you no good so I have heard. 1997 -2013



If only I knew whether you were right or wrong for me.
From the day I first met you I thought you were the right person for me.
You left me sad, lonely and blue.
You know it's true that even now I still love you but you don't feel the same way anymore.
I don't understand why I still love someone who has not got the time a day for me.
Sometimes I feel like locking myself away in my bedroom and never coming out but other times I feel lonely.
Live in the bedroom with a kettle, food, toilet but I need to cut down on my heavy drinking.

Not seeing the world again to get away from pain is how I feel.
I don't feel very strong at all, hard to see the end of the tunnel.
I will get somehow, some way and some day.
I never saw myself stopping felling depressed.
I there was a light at the end of the tunnel somewhere but I didn’t know where.
I just must have been crazy to write pages and pages of romantic poetry about you. 2007 - 2015

How strange is that?
I must have been in another world to feel the way I did about you.
There must be someone better out who loves me for me but I find it hard to believe that it will ever happen.
I loved the wrong man in you.
 I must have been blind to love you.
I am more than happy now to carry on moving on without you/
1997- 2013.


Finely I have stopped loving you.
At last I have stopped loving you.
One day I thought I don’t know you anymore.
I am so glad in the end I walked out your door for good.
I must have been out my mind to put myself through what I did with you.
 At last you will never hurt me again because I will never be in your life again for you to do so.
I was out my mind to think we would love one another for life.
I have no regrets letting you go.
Think this through carefully because one day I could be with someone who sticks to his word, who does not mess around like you do.
 2001 - 2015

I thought you left me.
I thought you left me but I left you in the end.
Leaving you was the hardest thing to do but I did it all the same.
Now I realise leaving was the best thing in the end.
Something told me I was building my hopes too much.
Something told you didn’t love me as much as I thought.
You didn’t love me at all.
I never knew where I was with you, first you loved me then you didn’t.
Now the truth hurts you because now I have gone out your life for good, it too late but if I was with you still you'd still play mine games

I made a big mistake to give you a second chance.
Too bad there’s no going back.
You hurt me no more.
 2001 - 2013
How unkind life can be.

You should not be lying in your coffin at such a young age.
You should be in a romantic wood.
We should be eating out in the sunshine and drinking wine together on a hot summer's day.
We should not be dead if you’re dead I am too.
There's handy any happiness in the world today.
I don't feel the joys of spring something is missing in my life mostly in winter weather. 20.11.2005


20th March 2003.
It has been a year today since the second Gulf war broke out.
We were told in May 2003 the war was over but that's not true when soldiers are still even now getting killed.
There are soldier killed than there was before don't think this war is over yet, why is our government telling us lies?
When I watch the news there seems to be bombs going off all over the world. 20.3.2004



Private love.

You may well be a ghost but I love you.
People think I am mad if they knew or know.
I don't care what people think of the way I think.
This helps me accept death as it is even if there may not be as such thing as ghosts but there might be.
Our love may not be seen but heard, as strange it sounds.
You may over there and I might be over here but that does not stop us being a loving pair.

I hope you are lying to rest.
I believe you never rested on earth.

It's so hard to hold back the pain but try to be brave.

The truth is that when one rests in peace, the other wakes up.
Many people believe in people coming back as an animal or someone else.
Some say as one life is lost another life starts.
I don't know whether to believe in that or not but I wonder what have come back as if you have come?
Are you an animal or are you human?
Are female or male animal or human being?
Who knows? 30.12.2003 - 1.6.2004







I find it hard to stop writing poetry.
Now I find it hard to stop writing poetry as my feelings are uncontrolled.

Believe me that man was not as special as I made him out to be in this poem, I only thought he was. How blind was he not to understand how much I loved him but how blind was I to not understand that he did not really love me?
 Then we may have just loved one another as much as we could. We were both blind in our ways in our minds.1997-2015

What happens?
What is it like to be in the world of heaven?
Do you have less stress than we do on earth?
There's no perfect world with no problems at all so may be there are no two worlds heaven and earth.

Does your skin turn into bone?
Do you feel anything at all?
How on earth do people know?
Once you have gone, you have gone.
We never hear your voice again.
Are you ghosts really around or are you just nightmare fairy tales?
Are you really moving around?
I guess these questions are hard to answer.30.12.200 - 1.6.2004
 



Any way forward.

It all seems so dark.
It's hard to know what is going to happen without you.
It's hard to believe you have gone fifteen years, it's hard believe you have gone at all.
It's hard to believe that you are never coming back to give more music.
I grew up watching you sing; those happy memories have not gone.
I remember watching on Live Aid when I was fifteen years old.
I even used to hope that I'd meet you one day but no chance of that Freddie Mercury.
Now it's far too late for all that.
Never mind not everything goes everyone's way. 2003 - 2006
Why you?
I could not believe it when you had gone but let's believe your spirit is still here!
The night I found out the world had lost you; I cried my eyes out in my bedroom all night long.
Your art and music still lives on.
Nearly fifteen years on and even now the news has not sunk in. 2003 - 2006.

If there’s a god where is he?
 Have you ever seen god or a god?
If yes is the case, do you get on with him?
Is god the boss of heaven?
Should we believe in  god or not?
Will he send you to hell if you do badly but heaven if you do well?
Do we really need help from god or do we help ourselves?
Is god the boss of heaven? 6.1.2004
Wondering minds.

It must be lovely to sleep and never wake up.
It is death forever sleeping.
May be you can't sleep at all.
May be you live the same life in heaven as you did on earth work, sleep and social life.
It's just like a dark tunnel, you feel trapped and you must get out.
Do you feel things or not?
Do you get some sleep and wake up? 6.1.2004

What’s the weather like in heaven?

Does it get cold in heaven?
Does it get hot in heaven?
Can it go hot and cold in heaven like it does on earth?
Does it all stay the same?
Do you have snow?
Do you have rain?
Does it change?
Do people in heaven life can’t stays the same.
 Is there a future in heaven; is there any life at all?
May be only if there is past and a present. 2003 – 2006

Princess Die.

Die you were too young to die.
You were the people's friend until the end, in our eyes you still are and always will be.
You helped children so much.
You loved your children William and Harry.
Why did Charles hurt you so much?
You were one in a million as a person and the reward for the work you had done.
Society was so did not know who it lost until it lost you.
I can take or leave royally but I don't understand why most people hated you so much.
Naturally your sons loved you so much.
Your death must have left them with so much sadness.
You must be very much missed by them with the love of your sons. 26.5.2002



Disability people's ability.
It can be very hard when disabilities are not seen.
Only because a person and walk and talk, it does not mean that they have not got a disability.
It is really up to the people with disabilities to tell people they have disabilities.
People must learn to understand if people disabilities don't anything and you think something is wrong.

Have you ever thought that even now there are people that turn a blind at people with disabilities, people with disabilities may feel scared, embarrassed and even ashamed to say so?
How would you feel if you were us?
We should not be made to feel that way but in some cases of our lives society still see us as hard work and completely useless.
Why doesn’t society look at the strong parts of people with disabilities and give us a chance to bring what comes easy to us to life!
Society should let us believe in us as human beings.
They would not like if people were saying they could not do this, that and other. 18.7.2005

CLEVER YOU. .

What a shocking way to start the 21st century for us, which is not so clever.
Now it's rest and peace forever for you.
The novel is in memory of you that are written by you it is very hard to find.
It was such a shame you could not write more books.
I may know how to write but not as well as you.
I had a book for my birthday called “HOW TO WRITE FOR A MILLION."
Learning about writing I am more interested in than the money, I will study it through.
Never mind I will think of you as I study the book through.
There was not any time to ask what your novel was about I knew you for such a short time in your young life.

I heard you sang songs that got in the charts, I can't sing at all.
I also heard you were a DJ, I bet you miss that too.

If only we knew your reasons for leaving us.
If only we could have helped you like you helped us too.
We would have been willing to respect you wishes and feelings. 2.10.2000

Why did we lose Princess Diana?
Why did Die and her boyfriend die so young?
It was so hurtful to think that the press was making their lives hell; I think the stress from the press caused both their deaths.
Dies new lover must have been better than Charles, he may have made her happier than Charles did, and we would have never of known.
Now she will be always be in rest and peace with the man she loved. 26.5.2002
Why did Die and her boyfriend die so young?
It was so hurtful to think that the press was making their lives hell; I think the stress from the press caused both their deaths.
Dies new lover must have been better than Charles, he may have made her happier than Charles did, and we would have never of known.
Now she will be always be in rest and peace with the man she loved. 26.5.2002

Time when so fast when we were dating one another twice seeing one another yet seeing one another again seems so long to come.
What I have said is true no one I have loved has loved me as much as you do. 28.5.2013.

We believe in each other.

I believe you have faith in yourself so I believe that you have faith in me.
I believe you know what and who you want in your life and you never change your mind.
I believe you know what you want within me.
Its great have someone in my life who believes in because no other man I have had in my life has.
Yes I believe that you believe in me like I believe in you.
I believe you bring the positive in me yet you’re cleverer than me.
You believing the positive in me are helping me slowly to think positive about myself. 21.7.2013.

Before I met you online.
I spoke to quite a few guys before I met you online but none of them were my type.
    To me going to relationship wasn't the right time at that time.
Some where pushy, others wanted more than friendship, others were boring and others wanted their cake and eat it, before you that are what it was like for me all the time.
Since I met you online you have given me a good time chatting to you every time.
When I met you I accepted to full in love with you online.
I thought I'd write some lines of what's going through my mind.


TIGER TIM AND PRINCESS SARA IN LOVE.

  We want to be each other’s arms.
  Kiss me my sweet babe I love you so much.
  I will kiss you again when I see you because I want to be with you.
  We want to walk hand in hand together in the warm sun.
  Between us already our love is so strong for one another.
   I would have loved to come to see you now.
   I wish could see you but it's never too late.
   Is that what you say to be written in the poem babe I know you mean it babe or are you meaning it to tell me or both.   2013 - 2015-08-24

Both reasons babe.
I may as well write it? Shall I?
Yes babe it's never too late to love which we have each other.
It's taking me a while to write this poem babe so bare with me.
No worries.
I am laughing as I am writing it.
I get so carried away with words.
I may as well write what we say all night.
No way will nothing be private if I put into a poem everything we say to one another.
You must let me know babe when I get carried away with words babe. 3rd August 2013

YOU CAN'T CHANGE WHAT'S HAPPENED NOW YOU HAVE DONE IT.
Do you think he will come back to live?
May be Jesus will but John Lennon won't.
Do you believe in hell on earth but peace in heaven?
That wasn't the way John Lennon saw it.
John Lennon believes in peace on earth.
I know answers are unknown what the truth is so who know what and not to believe.
I was 11 years old in the class room when Mr Stoll told me and many other children at the time of the bad news of John Lennon's death.
I can still hear Mr Stoll telling us now 30 odd yrs on.
The peace John was hoping for on earth I hope he gets in heaven. 8.12.2007 - 5.7.2013





John Lennon.

John Lennon was a young hippie in the 1960s.
He believed in peace not war.
He would not be happy with the world been any other way than peace not war.
Today he'd be rolling in his grave if he saw knew what a mess the world is today.
John always rewarded brave people.
He wrote great song and poetry.
He drew and painted lovely pictures.
He was a very clever man.
The sad thing was that he did not die in people but with a bang.
Everyone guessed that John Lennon wanted to die at a peaceful grand old age with no pain but just in his sleep. 31.1.2001


You were right to end it how you did.
You were right to end it how you did even though it’s broke our heart.
Like I said there are times in life the truth hurts and we have to face what we don’t want to face.
Our feelings were too strong towards each other to face the fact that things weren't going to work out for us but I don't know about you, I have no regrets trying otherwise we wouldn't have known.
All the same we should have thought harder through but I did then we wouldn't know one another if we had have thought through sooner.
We should have thought living too far apart would rip us apart but we were too much in love to face the truth.
Even though it’s over I’m still facing the truth, how long will take I don’t know.
I’m not refusing to be your friend but I just need time to come to terms with not being your lover.
I will write my poems, which may help come to terms with it all a bit a quicker, I can say till I write.
I know you were right to leave me this way.
It may not feel right now but it will as time goes on.
I know there’s no easy way but time can only say.
We both need to come to terms with the way we feel for another. S.J Gorman 7.6.2015

Thank you.
Thank you for your kindness.
Thank you for your love.
Thanks for the time we had together it was great while it lasted.
I’m so sad to lose you but so happy I tried to be with you.
I have no regrets for trying but as hard as it is, I must do the hard bit and that is move on.
It wouldn’t have been good to carry on even though we wanted to carry on.
Believe me I have been through a lot worse pain, fall down and got back up again so I can do again.
So another bites the dust, I’m not looking for love again, if it’s going happen again, love can find me this time.
You never know your turn could come again, you never know someone new and local to you.
Only hope she doesn’t hurt you otherwise she will have me to answer to even though you and me will never go back to how we were.
You never someone will love you as much as I love you and wanted to carrying loving you but hopeful she will live a lot closer to you.

I hope you find someone who loves you for you like I do not what she can get out of you. S.J Gorman 7. 6.2015


Everything I touch.
Everything I touch, in time it turns to rust.
You took my heart then throw it all away.
Back in the day you were my lover and best friend for a lot of years.
You were my world nothing no one else mattered, how selfish could be to lose myself so many people because of you?
I gave 100 % of my time because that’s what I wanted was you but then I guess I drove to be the person you were towards me without realizing it.
To think at one time I used to think you were so special but now I hate your cuts.
It was the biggest mistake I ever made.
You filled my life with happiness so I thought then you filled my life with bitterness and emptiness.
In the end you tore my world apart and broke my trust towards other men.
We have now split nearly eight years and I am still trying to build my life back up again after the damage you put me through.
If only I wasn't so love blind for all those years.
I never listened to anyone I thought I knew all.
In my mind no one could say a bad word against you but my word they were so right and I was so wrong.
I was wrong to carry on with you for so long until over loaded myself with pain from you. 7.6.2015


How could you?
How could you?
How dare you?
Walk out and come back in my life as if nothing happened.
It happened so many times I'm a lot then sure, it’s not happening anymore.
I'm a lot more than sure I don't love you anymore.
You don't want me back for me; you want me back to be your victim of love. S.J Gorman 7.6.2015


Enough is enough.

Sorry to say I was wrong to take you back again I have to be honest and sorry if the truth is wrong.
Knowing you have the same reason as before fair enough you should not have had me asked back, I should have know not to take you back.
I did refuse for a while but my mistake was giving to you.
Sorry to say there's no going back, there's only so much I can take.
I may live too many miles away which makes sense while you ended but you should have stuck to your word and I shouldn't have gone back despite of how we may feel.
You keep saying you want to put stop to it before we hurt each other so stick to your.
If there's no future for us then put a stop altogether before things go too that mistake I made before I knew.
Sorry to say this but we need to face the truth.
None of us are getting any younger but never think you did me wrong but both of us have to been honest with each other.
To be cure to kind then let's part completely no matter how is hard is otherwise our lives could be never ending rolling coaster.  
Sorry to hurt you but we need to do something about this before it's too late otherwise we could no where.
All same thanks so much for the time together I have no reason to hate you but it just didn't work out to how we hoped so let's think about this carefully whether we both like it or not.
Just remember there's not just one us hurting but both of us and we both need to come to terms.
I will be sorry to say that I have only just got over been hurt before but that was a lot worse hurt but now sorry to say I don't need it anymore.
You may not have meant hurt but more i am disappointed than hurt because of what I have been through before but not the only reason I was hoping for a happy future with but like I have been I have built hopes up too much, shouldn't have done.
Sorry I hoped for too much, i will learn to hope too much with anyone in future. 23.8.2015


The truth hurts.

My last ex hated me writing poems at the time which was very strange to how I was feeling at the time, I guess at the time he understand how much I loved him but that's his loss, now I can't stand the sight of him.
He once said if Mum dies I won't have anything to do with you again.
Through years when his Mum died he didn't want me to walk away but in time I did because of the way he treated me.
It was hard because I didn't want to walk away from his Mum she did nothing wrong he but they both lived in the same house.
This was one the reasons why it took so long to get over plus the years we were together.
His Mum did me no harm I miss her and she was a good friend and despite been his Mum she stuck for me more so than for him but how much of a great friend she was it was hard for me to walk away from him even though I did in end.
So sad it was I found myself waiting to walk away from him when his Mum died, still that's by the by,
After such a battle to leave him you came into my life therefore I thought I was over him but stopped loving him because he gave me so much pain to stop loving him.
Like said on the phone it's now hard not to feel in love with you because you gave me no pain only that I'm hurt lose you but all the same that's way it is, i shouldn't surprise through the things I have gone through before.
All the same I can't go through on and off whatever the reason.
Sorry about the truth hurting but I need to get over you like I had to get over the others even though you have done no wrong.
Poetry may be the only way can express myself. 23.8.2015


  


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