Tuesday 18 December 2018

ALL YEAR ROUND, POEMS OF 2016.

ALL YEAR ROUND.

Nothing goes everyone's way all the time.
I can't stand fear but I love beer, beer doesn't love me, it makes me fat lol! 

Worse things happen at sea. 
No one is perfect, we all make mistakes. 
Life is too short to make the most of it. 
Take the good with the bad. 
Be yourself don't try to be someone your not and try not to make yourself misunderstood.
Summer.
Daisy
Buttercup
Rose
Trees with leaves all over.


Easter.
Chocolates
Bunnies
Rabbits
Lambs go baa
Chicks 

Love.
 Hearts
Flowers
Chocolates
Cards
Poems
Verses

The weather.
Wind
Hot
Cold
Sunshine
Rain
Snow
Hail

Fast poetry.
Not much time.
Time to party.
Soon be time to let the old year old and the new year in.  December 2016 to December 2018





Get drunk.

Get drunk and merry.
Happy new year.
Let 2016 out and 2017 in.
With no tear
my dear
of the positive and negative of 2017. 

Anxiety.

Panic
Fear
Worrying about things that mostly don't turn out to be what they seem.

Fireworks.

I hear fireworks going off to close 2016.
2017 to open.
Another year to come and go as quick as this as the years fly to 2018. 31.12.2016 

I grew up to be me.

I am no good with my fingers and toes.
I am good with my mind.
The good thing is I can write.
I say what's going through my mind. 31.12.16


Risking a long road without realizing.

 I wrongly let my feelings get in my way and I should have controlled them.
Therefore I feared and took the risk for someone I loved at that time and now I hate him.
If only I was braver I would have saved myself extra pain.
I took the risk knowing he was going to break me again but then realizing he didn't in the end because I fell down and got back up again ten times stronger than what he did.
I took him back, we spent seven years together, what a big mistake that was because my love was far too strong towards him to turn him down.
This time I knew whatever it took I had to start to walk away before he hurt me ten times as hard as he did before.
I started to walk away slowly for a month in spite of my feelings.
In a few days, I started to feel nothing for him, which I couldn't believe after 13 and a half years on and off.
 It was a great weight off my shoulders but it still took six years till I was out of his life altogether because I was great friends with his Mum.
 Only after she died I walked away from him for good
He couldn't make up him his mind whether he loved me or not so,  therefore he didn't love me at all.
As time when on he kept on saying sorry, he kept begging me to take him back, I kept on saying no. 31.12.2012

Happy new year 2017.

Time to put 216 behind us and bring 2017 forward.
Let's hope 2017 is better than 2016.
Now it's time to deal with the unknown.
Looking forward is not easy when you don't know but wouldn't be right to know.
Forget the past but learn from it, meaning put it behind the best you can. 31.12.2016
This is not a cry out for help.

This is not a cry out for help.
This is not seeking attention, we are just making you aware of our conditions.
This is a very down feeling with or without a reason.
No one wants to feel like they do.
No one wants to take how they feel on others.
No one wants to leave others in sadness.
Just when you feel like this, life feels painful to live but it doesn't mean you want to leave the world to grief.
We are not nuts, it doesn't make us suffer worse than others the way you may think we think, we just cope in a different way to you.
We would say if we really truly knew why ourselves, it may well pass but then it comes back, we are up and down which can happen to anyone but we are just more so often than, those who do not face Mental Health.
We are not asking for the world, we are asking to learn and understand about us. 30. 12.2016


Misunderstood.

So you think I am all black and white sorry to disappoint but you are wrong, we can be quite bright when we see the light.
There's more to me and others the same or not much different to me.
We are always what we sound and appear to be.
Just because you may see us laughing and smile, doesn't mean we feel the same inside.
We are not fake people and we are not attention seekers either.
Feelings emotion can vary from time to time and or person to person, not all people manage their conditions the same.
It may depend on the people and situations around us.
Not everyone faces and reacts to life the same.
Mental Health is hidden, it's not a lie.
It's not something we decide to be ourselves, it just happens and nobody knows why.
We are not fake, we are real but sensitive people. 3012.2016

Every day I ask myself.
What happened?
Why did it happen?
When did it happen?
If only I knew because I feel that you would be at peace if I did so would I.
No reason is good enough you should be here.
Doesn't how you felt about me, I loved you and I always will.
However you felt about me, I would sooner you would be alive than where you are now.  30.12.2016

December.

Your birthday gave me a mixer of emotions, wishing you were here as the party animal you were.
Days before and after your birthday have seemed very dark and dull, leaving me to wonder why you left this world.
Not easy to move on anyway but even harder with the unknown.
I have tried to stop myself asking myself questions knowing full well I get no answers, which is not easy.
What I do know is that you would tell me to stop be so daft and move on with my life.
Yes, you're right, I'm not very good at it am I? 30.12.2016

Drinking and poetry.

Through been over tried and drinking emotions tend to get taken out on the wrong people, which should wait to be written on paper.
It's not poetry, it's just words that have come out of my head, words of emotions.
I haven't been sleeping right since you left this world with all these questions I can't answer coming into my head.
I haven't taken sleeping pills, I have drunk instead only huge amounts now and then.
I sit at my computer desk with words pouring out my head that don't make any sense, then it goes blank as I wonder what to write. 30.12.2016

No point.

It seems life is not worth living when you weren't meant to be here in the first place.
Sorry be so sad, take no notice of me it's just a wrong feeling of opinion I had.
I don't feel like anyone.
Who are you?
I may as well not be here at all.
Sorry, to feel this way I just want to end it all.
Sorry, it was just what I was feeling at the time when I wrote these lines. 30.12.2016

Words are words.

Say good or any bad words about I don't care.
They are words, they don't hurt me.
Do whatever you like me, I will leave this earth as a doormat.
I will fall down and get back up again.
I am used to people treat me how they want, I don't care how they treat me anymore.
If others think I am a laughing stock so what I'm as strong as an ox. 30.12.2016

I keep feeling the need to do it.

I keep feeling the need to do it but I haven't got the guts.
Too scared of heights and I don't think I am strong enough.
If only I knew why I feel the way I do.
Open the window and let me fly to the sky.
Life is a pain and sadness, I don't feel selfish to do it but I feel guilty and ashamed that I feel this way.
30.12.2017

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